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"Can I get you anything, Ez?" Josiah asked after the man finally surfaced from bed at midday.Ezra had been unwell all night but he looked, and felt, much better now. "No, thank you, Mr. Sanchez. I might just take a stroll out to the barn and back."
"Okay, take care."
Ezra wandered outside and breathed in a deep lungful of air before setting off slowly toward the barn. Three-quarters of an hour later, Ezra still hadn't returned to the ranch house.
The profiler stood staring out the kitchen window. "Do ya think he's okay? Shall I go check on him?"
"Better, I s'pose," Nathan agreed with a shrug.
The big profiler hurried to the barn and stepped inside. Ezra was sitting on a pile of hay bales, which had been placed next to his horse's stall. Arnie sat beside him with a wagging tail and the dog occasionally reached up to lick the undercover agent's cheek. Ezra was talking quietly to his horse so Josiah stepped forward.
"You okay, Ez?"
Ezra turned round and smiled as he saw Josiah hovering in the doorway. "Yes, I'm fine. I hope you won't think I'm mad but at the moment I find the company of God's creatures very comforting. They don't demand anything of you and they have a great calming quality. I've been coming in here with increasing frequency lately."
Josiah smiled and walked toward the man. "I don't think yer mad at all, Ez. If you feel it's doing you good then who am I to argue?"
"They make me feel more positive about
life. Not that Chris or any of you don't, but...Oh, I can't explain. I just know that once I've been in here, I feel ten-times better about the future."
"I understand, Ez," Josiah said as he patted Ezra's back. "You coming back now? Nate's cooking up a storm for lunch."
"Yes, I'm all finished here for the moment," Ezra said as he stood up and slapped his hand against his thigh to encourage Arnie to follow him.
The two men went back to the ranch house and walked into the kitchen.
"There ya go, Ez. Get yer chops round that," Nathan said as he put a full bowl of porridge in front of the man.
"Looks delicious, Mr. Jackson. Thank you."
The men ate quietly until all three had finished.
"Thank you both for persuading Chris to go away for a few days. I've been really worried about him, as you know. I do hope he is enjoying himself," Ezra said, echoing his partner's thoughts with his last comment.
"I'm sure he is. Who can't have fun with Buck, Vin and JD for traveling companions? Those three are enough to lift anyone's spirits," Josiah grinned as he washed up the dishes quickly.
"What shall we do this afternoon then?" Ezra asked. "Can't allow them to have all the fun, can we?"
"Well, I don't want you overdoing it," Nathan cautioned, wondering what the man had in mind.
"There are things we can do indoors, Mr. Jackson."
"Game of poker, perhaps?" Josiah asked with a grin, knowing the way Ezra's mind was working.
"What an excellent idea, Mr. Sanchez. I'll deal, shall I?" Ezra asked as he shuffled the cards, but without his usual dexterousness.
A few hours later, Ezra had a large pile of matchsticks in front of him and a huge grin on his face. "Well, that was very pleasant."
"Hell, Ezra, I can't even light a candle 'cause you've won all my matches," Nathan said as he laughed out loud.
"I can sell you one," the undercover agent offered as he held one out toward the medic.
"No, that's quite alright. I'll rub two sticks together if need be," Nathan grinned as he tidied up the table and put the cards and matches away.
"Are you hungry?" Josiah asked, as he rubbed his stomach to quieten the rumble that he'd felt there. "Nothing like losing all your matchsticks to awaken an appetite."
"Winning has the same effect too," Ezra grinned.
The three men ate a small meal and returned to the living room for the evening. They settled down to watch a film, but when Nathan looked over halfway through, he saw that Ezra was crying quietly. The medic turned the film off quickly and dropped to his knees in front of Ezra.
"Ezra? Whatever's the matter? Do ya feel okay?" he asked as he automatically reached out a concerned hand to the man's brow.
"No, I had a good day," Ezra said as if that explained everything.
Nathan frowned. "And that upsets you?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm sorry."
"Tell us what you mean, son," Josiah said as he took up position on the arm of Ezra's chair and put his arm round the man's shoulder.
"I'm scared. So scared," Ezra sobbed softly as he covered his face with his hands.
"Oh, Ez," Nate said as he leant forward and pulled the upset man into his arms. He felt Ezra put both arms round his back in a tight embrace.
Ezra pulled back from Nathan's grasp after a while and looked up at Josiah. "Whenever I've had an enjoyable day it just hits me twice as hard that there might not be many more to come.....I really don't want to die but I can't help feeling that it's becoming a more likely outcome." Ezra hiccupped and rubbed his nose. "I don't want to die," he whispered as he leant against Josiah and felt the man tighten his grip.
The profiler, for once, didn't know what to say to Ezra. He couldn't assure him that he wasn't going to die so he just hugged the man tight in comfort and hoped that was enough.
"Please don't tell Chris about this....about me crying," the sick agent begged as he wiped his eyes shakily while reining in his emotions.
"Alright, son. It'll not pass our lips but just remember that we're around if you need to talk at some point in the future."
"Thank you." Ezra sniffed and sighed softly. "I'm so sorry to have ruined the end of a wonderful day."
"You didn't, Ez. I don't think there's one person in your position who wasn't scared of dying. Everyone has to learn to cope in their own way but you shouldn't hold what yer feeling inside. Is there anything that makes you feel better when you feeling upset?" Nathan asked.
"The horses. I told Josiah about them earlier."
"I remember, son." Josiah said as he squeezed the man's shoulder. "You go and see them whenever you feel the need because I saw the boost that they gave you."
Ezra smiled, now slightly embarrassed at his earlier show of emotion.
Nathan smiled and patted his knee. "Time for bed, I reckon."
"Yes, perhaps you're right, Mr. Jackson, because I tend to let things get to me more when I'm tired. I'll see you in the morning."
"Sure. Give a yell if you need anything, or if Josiah's snoring too loudly for ya."
Ezra smiled shyly and made his way upstairs. Nathan and Josiah exchanged glances, but before they could speak, the phone rang and Josiah answered it.
"Hey, Josiah. Is Ez okay?"
"Chris! You were supposed to be leaving Ezra to us. There's no need to check up on us or we'll think you don't trust us. Just let go of the apron strings, will ya?"
"Please, Josiah. I need to know if he's alright," Chris pleaded. "He was sick when I left this morning, remember, and I just had a feelin' a minute ago that somethin' was wrong."
Josiah kept his word to Ezra, although he was amazed at how in tune Chris was with his lover to instinctively sense that all was not well. Soul mates, he thought to himself wryly before speaking to Chris. "He's in fine fettle. Beat us at poker as usual. Thank God we'd only been betting with matchsticks or I'd have needed to take out a loan to pay him back," the profiler laughed. "How are you getting on?"
"It's been great. You were all right and I'm glad I did it. Vin caught two fish with his bare hands and I've never seen anything like it. I've enjoyed myself so far and feel a bit more relaxed."
"I'm glad to hear it and Ez will be too. Have fun and we'll see you tomorrow night."
"Yeah. Thanks for taking care of Ez for me. I won't ring again but I just need to satisfy myself that he was alright. I've haven't been able to stop thinking about him all day. See ya later."
Josiah put the phone down and wiped a hand over his face. "Chris said that he'd felt that something was wrong with Ezra. God, I hate lying to him."
"You didn't, 'cause Ez said he'd had a good day, didn't he? That's what brought on the crying. Don't lose any sleep over it, Josiah. I'll have a word with Chris in a round about way just to give him a hint. He won't know that anything happened tonight, you can count on that."
+ + + + + + +
On Thursday that week, when Ezra was having his half-day at work, Chris came stomping out of his office looking upset.
"Dammit. Travis needs me in a meeting on Monday."
"So?" Buck said as he continued tapping away on his keyboard.
"It's the start of my next chemo session then, and as Maude has gone home again, there's no one to go with me," Ezra enlightened the tall man quietly.
"One of us will go with him instead, Chris. There's no need to panic," Nathan said calmly when he saw how upset the blond looked.
"Thanks. It's just I really wanted to go with him the first day every time."
Ezra caught his partner's eye. "It's alright, Chris. We knew something might crop up at some point. You'll be there for the rest of the week."
Chris smiled. "Who do you want to go with you then?" the blond asked.
"Oh, dear." Ezra looked at the group of men uncertainly. He already knew who he wanted but he didn't want the man to feel that he had to accept.
"Ez?" Chris asked insistently when he saw the man hesitate.
The undercover agent dropped his gaze to his lap. "I don't want any of you to feel obliged. Please say no if you don't feel that you want to accompany me."
"Ez? Who?"
"Bucklin," Ezra said, knowing Chris would be more than happy with his choice. Who better than the blond's oldest friend?
"I'll be happy to take ya, Ez," the tall man said.
"I hope the rest of you aren't upset that I didn't choose you. I expect you're all rather relieved."
Josiah stood and patted Ezra's back. "No we ain't, son. As Nate said before, any of us would be more than pleased to go with you at any time. You choose whomever you feel most comfortable with, son. You're the one who should feel at ease through all of this."
"I'd feel comfortable with any of you but Bucklin is Chris's oldest friend and has become a very good friend of mine too. That's not to say the rest of you haven't..Oh, dear," Ezra said forlornly, knowing he was digging a bigger hole for himself with each word he said.
"Just shut yer mouth while yer ahead, Ez. You don't have to explain anything to anyone," Josiah said with a smile when he saw the undercover agent's expression.
Chris couldn't help smiling at his partner too, before turning back to Buck. "I'll drop him off at the loft early in the morning on Monday, Bucklin."
"Sure. I'll be up and waiting."
+ + + + + + +
Buck was true to his word and escorted Ezra to the hospital so that he was in good time for the start of his chemo. As soon as they arrived though, the undercover agent was called through to see the specialist.
The sick man turned to Buck apprehensively. "Bucklin? Would you mind holding my hand a while longer? Metaphorically, not literally, I mean," Ezra asked, expecting bad news about his cancer.
The ladies' man studied Ezra critically, seeing the naked fear in the man's eyes. "Course I can, pard. I'll stay as long as ya want me to."
The two men were shown into the specialist's room and Ezra fidgeted nervously as they waited for the man to arrive.
The doctor sat behind his desk and smiled encouragingly at Ezra. "Ezra? The chemo doesn't really seem to be doing the trick anymore. The lumps have reduced slightly but the shrinkage has now ceased. I think we need to consider radiotherapy as a treatment after this last session of chemo. It would involve you coming in every weekday for treatment for about a month. You don't need to stay in overnight, though. Would that timetable prove a problem?"
"No, but we do live quite a way from town," Ezra said shakily, trying to come to terms with what he'd been told. He felt cold, and he couldn't really concentrate on what was being said to him.
"Well, see how it goes but you may have to move into town if you find it too much. Call me at any time if you have any questions. I'll be around the hospital during your stay this week so I'll pop in and see you again later on," the doctor said.
"Thank you," the undercover agent said as he stood quickly, needing to get out of the suddenly claustrophobic room. He hurried out into the hallway with Buck following anxiously behind.
Ezra didn't stop but headed straight to his hospital room and got into bed and sat silently, unable to voice his innermost thoughts at the moment.
Buck sat beside him, not quite knowing what to say in the circumstances either. The ladies' man knew that Ezra desperately needed his partner's presence so he decided to set things in motion. "I'll leave a message for Chris and I'll stay with ya until he can come," he offered
Ezra smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Bucklin. I don't quite know how I feel but I can't help wondering what the future holds. I really feel like having some company all day today."
"Course ya do. I'll just call Vin and tell him I won't be in and I'll ask him to get Chris to call me as soon as he's out of his meeting. I won't tell Vin anything unless you want me to."
"Well, they all may as well know. There's no point in keeping secrets at this stage but maybe Chris could tell them after you've spoken to him. It wouldn't be right if he was the last person to be told," Ezra conceded.
Buck smiled and patted Ezra's arm. The tall man then disappeared for a while but returned not long after and took up position beside his friend again as the chemo began. After a couple of hours of comforting Ezra, Buck's pager beeped.
"I'll be back, pard. 'Spect that's Chris," Buck said as he reached for his cell.
Buck hurried outside and returned the blond's call. "Chris? Look, try not to worry but Ez was called in to see the specialist this morning, and he was told he had to have a course of radiotherapy 'cause the chemo seems to have stopped being successful."
"Shit! How's Ez?" Chris asked tearfully, thinking his worst nightmare was coming true. All the thoughts he'd previously had about losing his lover now came back to the surface. He'd managed to keep them buried since he'd had that chat with Josiah in the parking garage, but he knew they would be constantly in his mind from this day forth.
"Bit quiet and worried. He started his chemo a few hours ago so I don't wanna leave him for long, pard. I just thought you oughta know what happened."
"Okay, I'll come now," Chris said. "Thanks for staying with him. I really appreciate it, Buck. Have you told the others about this yet?"
"No. Ez wanted you to know first."
"Okay, I'll talk to them now."
Chris arrived as soon as he could and both he and Buck stayed with Ezra for the rest of the day and managed to persuade Ezra that radiotherapy wasn't necessarily a bad sign. It was just another tool that was being utilized to cure him and shouldn't be feared as a last resort. By the end of the day, Ezra didn't feel quite so upset but he still couldn't get rid of the sensation that had appeared in his stomach when he'd been given the news that morning.
+ + + + + + +
The radiotherapy began straight after Ezra's final rest week. Josiah had said that he could have Chris and Ezra to stay with him long-term and the blond had been only too pleased to take the man up on his offer. He knew that traveling back and forth to the hospital would exhaust his lover if they stayed out at the ranch, so he vowed to do everything possible to make Ezra's life as easy as he could. The blond also arranged with Travis to have the next month off work so that he could spend all his time nursing his lover. He knew that the sick man would now need tending round the clock.
After Ezra's first session, the hospital had given Chris a long list of things that could help with the tiredness that Ezra would suffer during his treatment. The blond had at first thought that some of the suggestions were ludicrous but he had been proved wrong on numerous occasions so far. The suggestions ranged from things like setting out Ezra's clothes ready for him to get dressed each morning, to leaving chairs scattered round the house so that Ezra always had somewhere to sit down if he felt the need. The list had become invaluable and Chris consulted it regularly.
+ + + + + + +
"Chris?" Ezra called shakily from Josiah's living room. He was on his second week of radiotherapy and was feeling much worse than he had when receiving his chemo. He felt continually sick and weak, and even getting out of bed in the mornings exhausted him.
"Yeah?"
"I don't feel very well."
The blond hurried into the living room as his heart began pounding. Ezra had never once really complained about how he felt during his treatment, so the blond knew that this was something entirely different. He squatted in front of the smaller man and reached out a hand to feel his brow anxiously. Ezra looked very pale and Chris could see that the man was worried about what was wrong too.
"Nate'll be here soon so he can take a look at you, babe," the blond said reassuringly. The blond had arranged for one of his friends to help him out for a few hours every day and he was mightily glad that he had. He was now finding it increasingly hard to cope. "Do you want to go back to bed?" he asked Ezra as he studied the sick man carefully.
"No, I think I'd rather stay here. I don't really want to move 'cause I'm very dizzy."
"Okay, babe, lay down on the couch," Chris said as he helped ease the man down so that he was lying along the length of the furniture. "Do you feel sick as well or what?"
"Feel like I've gotten a cold but I feel sick too. It's like there's someone sitting on my chest," Ezra said as he rubbed the affected area distractedly.
Chris reached out a hand and ran his fingers gently over Ezra's cheek and felt the heat there. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, thank you. Don't feel like eating or anything."
Chris frowned but tried to keep his fear from showing on his face. "Try to get some sleep but call if you need me. Do you want the blanket over you?"
"No. I'm hot."
Chris wandered out of the room and took up position by the kitchen window so he could see Nate arrive. He leant against the sink, feeling sick himself and he couldn't get his heart to stop racing. He heard an engine approaching and he was relieved to see Nathan drive up and park nearby. The blond hurried outside and waited on the doorstep worriedly as he wrung his hands continually.
The medic detected the man's unease straightaway; well, it was hard to miss really. Nathan began running toward the man and reached out a comforting hand as soon as he drew near. "Chris? Everythin' okay?" he demanded.
"Ez really ain't very well," Chris said, pleased that it was the medic's turn to help look after his ailing lover.
Ezra still lay on the couch and Nathan knelt down beside him and smiled when the man opened his eyes. "Hey, Ez. How ya feelin'?"
"Dizzy and sick," Ezra admitted as he moved his hand to rub his stomach instead of his chest.
"Have you been sick?"
"No, but I've got that horrible sensation. Worse than after my first chemo session but I assume it's a side-effect of my radiotherapy."
Nathan took the man's temperature and then stood and took Chris to one side. "Chris? I think you should get him checked out at the hospital. I think it's more than likely that he's got an infection 'cause he sounds very wheezy to me. You've gotta be real careful with him. He ain't particularly strong at the moment."
"What are you muttering about, Mr. Jackson?" Ezra called from the couch.
"I want you admitted to the hospital, Ez. Just as a precaution," Nathan said quickly when he saw the fear in his friend's face.
"I don't want to go. Please don't make me go," the recumbent man begged, looking ready to cry.
Chris knelt down in front of him. "It's where you need to be, babe. I'll be there too so you won't be alone."
Ezra eventually nodded unhappily and Chris reached out and picked up the blanket, which he draped round his partner's shoulders, despite the man's protestations that he was hot. The blond then pulled Ezra to his feet and escorted him slowly out to Nathan's Explorer and put him in the back before climbing in beside him. Nathan drove his friends to the hospital and, on arrival, Ezra was taken away and started on antibiotics immediately.
"Can I stay?" Chris asked, not wanting to go home without his partner after promising that he would be with him all the time.
"Sure. We'll make up a bed for you somewhere. Just need to take care with him when you visit though. Don't want him catching anything else so you'll have to wear a gown and mask and make sure you wash yer hands before, and after, seeing him."
"Sure, thanks."
Nathan had received a phone call just after they'd arrived and he sought Chris out after answering it. "Chris? I can't stay. Rain's been in an accident."
"I'll be alright, Nate. You go to her and I'll call one of the others to see if they can come for a while." Chris watched the medic leave and then called Vin while the doctors were rechecking Ezra's condition.
"Cowboy? Ezra's in the hospital," he blurted out desperately as soon as the phone was answered.
"What's wrong with him?" Vin asked, sensing his friend's terror.
"He's got an infection. I'm real scared, Vin, and I don't know what to do," Chris replied as his voice cracked with the stress.
"I'll come straightaway. Don't panic, Chris. He's in the best place," Vin said, trying to placate the black-clad man.
The sharpshooter arrived within half an hour and found the blond pacing the hallway in agitation. He joined the man and made him sit down in the waiting room. "Chris? Talk to me."
The blond sat with his hands balled in his lap as he tried to stay still. "Thanks for coming, Vin. They've made up a bed so I can stay with him but Nate had to go home and I just needed to talk to someone," Chris said as he felt his bottom lip tremble. The words just tumbled out of his mouth in one long stream, as if he was frightened that he wouldn't be able to finish the sentence before his emotions took over.
"Sure ya did, Chris," Vin agreed as he put his arm round his friend's shoulder, seeing that he was on the verge of losing control.
"I don't want to lose him but he's been kinda fading before my very eyes lately. I've noticed a real change in him, but then he's looked real pale ever since the treatment began, I s'pose. I never realized it'd be so hard to watch him suffer like this but I don't wanna let him down," Chris said as he felt tears rolling down his cheeks.
Vin tightened his grip on the blond's shoulder. "I know it's hard, Chris, and I can't imagine how you've been feeling. Yer being real brave though and I know Ez is really depending on your support. It's a heavy burden for you to bear, cowboy."
"I've tried to be positive all the time but it's getting real difficult to remain so, especially with setbacks like this. He's so fragile," the blond said as he wiped his face on the back of his hand and sobbed.
Vin pulled the man closer toward him and the two men sat silently while waiting for news of Ezra.
"Mr. Larabee?" a nurse called from the doorway, several hours later.
"Yeah?" Chris said as he looked at her anxiously.
"Mr. Standish is awake and asking for you. I've gotten a gown ready for you when you go in."
"Okay, I'll be there in a minute." Chris turned back to Vin. "I don't know that I can do this. I'm so scared."
"Chris? You told him you'd stick by him through thick and thin. He came back to you because of that. How would he feel if you walked away now?"
Chris mentally shook himself. "I wouldn't..couldn't.... do that to him. I'll try to hold things together for his sake. If he dies, I can give into my feelings then, and only then."
Vin finally realized just how much Chris had given in. "He ain't gonna die, Chris. Don't you dare go in there with a face like a wet weekend. If he sees you've given up on him, that'll be it."
Vin reached out and patted Chris's back and smiled sympathetically when the green-eyed man looked at him. "Call me, Chris. If you need to talk about anything at all, I'll always be around to listen or just to provide some company."
Chris nodded and walked along to Ezra's room with fear in his heart. He washed his hands and then put on the gown and mask that the nurse handed him before walking into the room.
"Hey, babe. Good to see you." Chris sat on the bed and picked up Ezra's hand and clutched it tightly.
"I don't like it here. I want to go home."
"I know ya do but ya can't just yet, Ez. Gotta stay until yer better. How ya feeling?" Chris asked as he laid a hand on the man's brow.
"Tired. I don't feel as if I have any strength left and I'm scared," Ezra said, finally admitting his fears.
Chris felt his throat constrict as his eyes brimmed with tears again after hearing his lover echoing his own thoughts. He ran his fingers down his partner's arm and said quietly, "I know, babe, but with all the good wishes and prayers that have been said on your behalf, I don't think God can turn a blind eye to you." Chris smiled sadly. "Try to get some sleep and I'll be in the hospital all night. You can't get rid of me, ya know." The undercover agent reached up and pulled out the locket, which Chris still wore around his neck. He fingered it tentatively before meeting the blond's eyes, not wanting to say that the hair inside might really prove to be the last tangible reminder of him.
"I love you, Christopher," he said instead.
"Feeling's mutual, baby. Now get some rest, Ez," Chris said, sensing the man's thoughts.
Ezra smiled and closed his eyes. Chris stayed on the bed until he was sure his partner was asleep. He then transferred to the chair beside the bed and slouched in it so that he was staring at the ceiling. He put his hands behind his head and stared upwards as he listened to the sound of Ezra's breathing, and despite his own unsettled stomach, couldn't help falling asleep too.
Chris woke to find the doctor checking on Ezra's progress. The blond yawned before looking at his watch and he was amazed to see that he'd slept for eighteen hours straight. His body was stiff and sore from being in the chair all that time but he didn't give a damn about his own discomfort. All he cared about was Ezra's welfare.
"Doc? How's he doin'?" he asked anxiously as he stood up and stretched.
"Very well, all things considered. He's improved even in the short time that he's been here," the doctor said encouragingly.
"Great. How long does he have to stay, do you think?" Chris felt like sitting down again after hearing the positive update. His knees had begun trembling and he could feel his eyes filling with tears of relief. Instead, he reached out one hand to the wall to help keep himself upright while using the other to wipe his eyes.
The doctor pursed his lips thoughtfully but decided against giving a proper timeframe seeing as it was still early days. "Well, we'll see how things go but if he keeps improving like this, hopefully not too long."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra was finally released from the hospital after a very successful week's treatment. He was given strict instructions to take it easy and Chris was determined to see that he obeyed. Not that he had overexerted himself before because he hadn't had the energy to do so.
The blond took Ezra back to stay with Josiah again and Chris made sure that there were always two people with the sick man in case of any other problems. Once Ezra restarted his radiotherapy, the group of men got into a kind of routine, juggling hospital, home and work between them and it all seemed to go like clockwork.
The following month of treatment, restarted from scratch because of Ezra's intervening sickness, passed slowly for all of them but when the sessions finally came to an end, Ezra was called to a follow-up appointment with the specialist again. Chris, as usual, accompanied him and both men were very concerned about what they were going to be told.
The specialist shook both men's hands when they entered the room and then pointed to seats. "Well, Ezra. I've got some really good news for you. We've done quite a few tests as you know over the past month and I'm glad to report that the radiotherapy seems to have done the trick. Your cancer is now in remission."
Chris looked over at his partner as his own heart leapt into his throat at the news. He saw that Ezra was unable to speak at all. "Ez? You okay? That's great news, ain't it?"
"Yes. I'm sorry, I don't know whether to laugh or cry," the undercover agent said quietly as he continually clenched and unclenched his fists. He felt sick, but at least it was for a good reason this time. He'd never felt such a sense of relief before and it was quite overwhelming. He'd really been expecting bad news.
"Laugh or cry: either will do, Ez. I'll join ya if you like," Chris said as he hugged his lover and kissed his cheek tenderly.
The doctor smiled and said, "You'll have to finish with a last few sessions of chemo and then have regular checkups to watch your progress but things certainly look good at the moment."
"Thanks, doc. I'm real grateful for all your hard work," Chris said gratefully as he shook the doctor's hand firmly.
The two men went out into the hallway and Chris could see the tears pouring down Ezra's cheeks. The undercover agent turned toward him and the blond opened his arms with a smile. Ezra literally threw himself into Chris's grasp and buried his face in the crook of the blond's neck as he sobbed with joy. He didn't care who saw him but just took pleasure in holding the man he loved as they celebrated his reprieve. Chris rubbed a hand up and down Ezra's back continuously as he whispered loving words in his ear while rocking the man from side to side.
"You okay, baby?" he asked when Ezra tightened his grip even more.
"Can't talk Too happy," Ezra mumbled and Chris laughed out loud and kissed the man's head. He slowly pulled Ezra out of his arms and gently wiped the tears from the man's face with trembling fingers.
"Come on, babe. Let's get out of here," the blond said when Ezra had finally regained his composure.
The blond put his arm round Ezra's shoulders and escorted him outside and strapped him into the front seat of the Ram. He then drove him back to Josiah's house and found the profiler sitting on his front doorstep waiting for them. The big man had been sitting there since the time they'd left, unable to occupy himself as he waited to see how they'd gotten on.
"Hey guys. Everything alright?" he asked tentatively as he leapt to his feet worriedly when he saw Ezra's red, tear-filled eyes.
"Better than alright, ain't they, Ez? Go on tell him yer news, babe," Chris said as he pushed the man forward slightly.
"The radiotherapy was successful and the cancer is in remission," Ezra said shyly as he felt another couple of tears escape to roll down his cheeks.
"Hey, that's terrific! Oh, I'm so pleased, Ezra. Hallelujah and praise the Lord," Josiah said as he hugged the man tightly and continued thanking God that his prayers had been answered for his friend's full recovery.
"Thank you, Mr. Sanchez. I feel as if I've been given a new lease of life. Well, I have really, haven't I?" Ezra smiled happily and patted Josiah's back. "You will be able to have your house back to yourself after I have finished my last few sessions of chemotherapy."
Josiah couldn't stop smiling at the good news. He'd never felt so happy in all his life but he knew that his joy didn't compare with that felt by Ezra and Chris. "I've enjoyed having you, son, although I'd rather it had been under different circumstances."
+ + + + + + +
Once Ezra finished the last of his chemo, Chris decided to arrange a get-together for all the guys. He knew Ezra wanted to speak to them, as did he. The two men set a date and made sure that everyone could come
Chris and Ezra met up in the kitchen on the morning of the party and began preparing mountains of food for their guests to eat. After cooking for a couple of hours, the two got changed quickly into clean clothes and waited for their friends to arrive.
"Thank you for arranging this, darlin'," Ezra said from where he sat on the kitchen table swinging his legs.
"You're welcome, babe. Now, what do ya want by way of a celebratory drink, Ez?"
"Orange juice, please."
The blond poured out a glass and handed it over. "There ya go. Take a seat in the living room and don't overdo it. Yer still gonna need some time 'til yer back up to speed, so no singing and dancin' today," Chris warned with a grin. Ezra looked like a coiled spring and Chris knew he'd have a hard time keeping a leash on the man now that he'd been freed from his possible death sentence.
"Yes, sir," Ezra said as he saluted and smiled.
Chris reached out a hand and cupped Ezra's face. "I could cry, Ez."
"Why?"
"Just so happy for ya, kid. It's good to see ya back to yer old self."
"Well, that's all thanks to you, my darlin'. I love you for your unending loyalty and I don't know how I could ever have doubted it to start with. I couldn't have got through this nightmare without you. When my world was disintegrating, you were my rock; the one constant who was always there for me."
"You're worth it, babe." Chris clenched his fist and made as if to punch Ezra's chin as he winked.
The undercover agent hopped off the table and started toward the living room, but as he wandered through the hall, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," he called.
Ezra put his drink down and opened the door to find Nathan on the doorstep. "Hello, Mr. Jackson. Glad you could make it."
"Wouldn't have missed it for the world." Nathan stepped inside and put his hands on Ezra's upper arms. He held the man still as he looked Ezra up and down before pulling him toward him and giving him a quick hug. "Looking good, Ez."
"Come through and talk to me, Mr. Jackson. I need to catch up on all the gossip. I feel as if I've been out of circulation for about a year."
Before they had a chance though, their four other friends turned up like a group of noisy children.
"Hey, Ez. Good to see ya," Vin said as he hugged the man tightly and patted his back.
"Thank you, Mr. Tanner." Ezra was finally released from the hug and he cleared his throat to get everyone's attention when he saw that Chris had joined the group of friends. "May I thank you all? I know it hasn't been pleasant for anyone but thank you for taking care of Chris for me. I know he's found it difficult to cope and I found comfort in the fact that he had five tremendous friends to stand by him."
There was another knock at the door just as Ezra stopped speaking and the sick man frowned.
"Go and answer it, Ez," Chris said with a smile, knowing who it would be.
"Everyone's here," Ezra objected as he walked to the door and opened it. "Maude! Oh, how lovely. All the boys are here too so come and say hello."
"Mrs. Standish," each man said as they saw who had come.
"Boys," Maude acknowledged.
She moved to stand in front of Ezra and smiled. The undercover agent grinned back as he allowed his mother to envelope him in her arms.
"I'm so pleased about your news, sweetheart." She let go of her son and took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead tenderly.
"Mother," Ezra protested as he turned red at her continuing shows of affection.
"Isn't a mother allowed to kiss her little baby boy?" Maude asked teasingly as she gently got hold of an inch of flesh on Ezra's cheeks between her thumbs and forefingers and wiggled his chops while grinning broadly at him.
"Not in front of his acquaintances," Ezra objected as he playfully slapped her hands away.
"I'll take yer place willingly, son, and she don't have to keep to kissing neither," Josiah said with a broad grin.
"Mr. Sanchez!" Ezra complained. "Please keep your manly urges under control. You're nearly drooling."
"Ezra!" the profiler complained as he laughed out loud.
The men got down to some serious partying for the next couple of hours but as soon as they saw Ezra's strength waning, they said their good-byes. The undercover agent made a point of seeing each man to their vehicle and thanked them once again for their support during his sickness. He knew he was exceeding lucky to have such a wonderful circle of friends.
+ + + + + + +
After their friends had gone, Chris and Ezra retired to bed early and Ezra lay against Chris's chest again, trailing lazy fingers over the man's flesh.
"Did I ever tell you that I love you, Chris?" the man asked quietly.
"Several times, babe."
"Show me how much you love me," Ezra begged.
"With pleasure," Chris said as he snuggled down beneath the blanket and proved his love.
The End