Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5 | Page 6 | Page 7 | Page 8
+ + + + + + +Chris had gone into the office for a few hours, and when he came by afterwards he was pleasantly surprised to see Vin with the bed reclined at an angle, half sitting up, but without the oxygen mask. The doctors had been weaning the dosage lower and lower as his lungs healed, but mostly they had been alternating between the full mask and the nasal canula. Now for the first time since Vin had been shot, Chris was seeing him without the tubes delivering the oxygen.
Vin had been looking out the window as Chris walked in, but immediately sensed his lover's presence. Blue eyes lit up as they sought green, and both men smiled.
"Hey," Chris said, coming over to the bedside. He dropped his briefcase and jacket on a chair and leaned over Vin's bed, brushing back the long hair that had fallen over Vin's face. "How're you feeling?"
"'M fine, Cowboy," Vin's voice was still a little rough and hoarse. "Better now that yer here."
"Glad I'm here, too, then," Chris's eyes crinkled in amusement. Of course Vin would say he was fine. Chris thought back over the last several months, of every time Vin had been sick or injured. His newest agent had insisted he was fine whenever he was pouring blood from a gunshot wound, bleeding from a gash on the head, burning up from fever, coughing until he couldn't stop, throwing up or nearly passing out from the dry heaves. And now when he was unable to breathe from bronchitis and pneumonia. Yep, Tanner was fine.
Chris left his hand brushing through the soft curls. He glanced over at the partially closed door, then bent down and ghosted a soft, brief kiss on those beautiful full lips. It tugged at him that he tasted the medicinal aftertaste from the breathing treatment Vin must have recently finished, but at the same time was grateful that the mask was gone for now and he could see the fine-boned features without the tubes snaking around his neck to help him breathe.
Vin stretched up, trying not to break contact between his lips and Chris's.
"Mmm..., missed ya, Lar'bee," he murmured, his blue eyes deepening. "Been real lonely."
"I missed you, too," Chris told him. "It was kind of hard to concentrate on work when I just wanted to be here. I'm sorry Travis won't really let me have more time off."
"Hey, that's okay," Vin frowned, and Chris could see the look of guilt in those expressive eyes. "I didn't mean ta complain. Didn't want ya thinkin' I meant ya t' be here."
"I know you weren't complaining," Chris rushed to reassure him. He slid his hand down to cup the thin cheek in his hand while he brushed a thumb across the sharp cheekbones. His other hand reached for Vin's hand that didn't have the port and tubes in it. "I'm happy you missed me. It's okay to admit it; doesn't mean you're whining."
"Still...," Vin didn't look convinced.
"It is kind of a goofed up system," Chris smiled softly. "I get to stay with you when you're really sick and really hurt, and spend hours here watching you sleep. Then when you get better and can actually stay awake more than five minutes at a time, I have to leave you to go to work."
"Hmm..., true," Vin looked slightly more appeased. "Don't wantcha gettin' in trouble cause you're here too much. Don't want ta be a bother."
"Hey, stop that," Chris frowned, squeezing Vin's hand tighter. "You are not a bother, and don't you ever think that."
Vin just looked away.
"Look at me, Vin."
Chris unthreaded his hand from Vin's long fingers, and cupped that beautiful face with both hands. He turned the head until Vin's sad blue eyes met his intense green ones.
"I love you, Vin. And no one has ever made me happier by letting me know that you miss me and love me, too. I hate going to the office and seeing your empty desk. I hate thinking about the reasons why you aren't there. I hate how everyone is quiet and subdued, glancing at your desk and not excited about going out to lunch or the saloon after work. I even hate going to the break room and finding drinkable coffee."
The younger man grinned at that, and Chris breathed a sigh of relief. Chris bent down and kissed the tip of that perfect, straight nose.
"You trust me, don't you, Vin?"
"Yeah, with my life," he sighed a little breathlessly. "You know I do."
"Good," Chris nodded.
"So what else happened today?" Chris asked, lowering the rail on the bed. He settled his hip down by Vin's thighs as the younger man scooted over to make room. Chris pulled at his tie while Vin raised the head of the bed slightly higher.
"The doc took me off the oxygen full time, like ya c'n see," Vin started.
"I do like looking at your face without that oxygen mask," Chris grinned.
"Hope ta keep it off, but she weren't makin' any promises."
"What else?"
"Umm, took a couple walks around th' halls," Vin rolled his eyes. "Marcia insisted on holding m' one arm while I was carryin' around m' stupid pole with th' oxygen on it."
"I think Marcia is sweet on you," Chris teased, his eyes glittering with laughter.
Vin glared at him.
"You think everyone is sweet on me."
"That's because they are, Tanner. They see that long silky hair, those big blue eyes.... And the final clincher is that sweet little Texas accent all 'yes Ma'am' and 'thank you, Ma'am.' Got 'em melting like butter."
"Oh, that's rich, Lar'bee. Makin' fun of th' sick an' injured. What else do ya do fer fun? Kick dogs an' steal candy from little kids?"
"No...," Chris continued calmly as if he hadn't heard the interruption. "I think maybe it's because they've all gotten a good look at that cute little ass. You do know that the nurses are entering a lottery to see who gets to give you a bath?"
"Chris!" Vin squeaked, his eyes huge and horrified. They flew to the doorway as if he expected a dozen nurses to appear, all carrying basins and wash cloths.
Chris laughed, and Vin turned a glare on him. He pulled away and folded his arms on his chest.
"You know, Vin, you're awful cute when you're pouting."
"Jist fer that," Vin huffed, "I ain't gonna share any a Miss Nettie's molasses cookies with ya."
"JD told me Casey said Miss Nettie got back into town last night from staying with her sister. So she brought cookies, huh?"
"Sure did. But I ain't givin' 'em ta no uppity, know-it-all, arrogant sonuvabitchen smart-ass ....."
Vin's tirade was interrupted when Chris leaned down and kissed that furious mouth. The sharpshooter relaxed into the kiss immediately, tongue warm and demanding entrance to Chris's mouth. Their lips pressed harder together as tongues danced and their breath quickened. Vin had managed to get his hands off his chest in time that Chris's leaning into him didn't hurt the needle taped to his hand or pull the tubes taped to his arm. He reached his hands up to grasp the strong shoulders, and pulled Chris closer to him.
Chris suddenly sat up, breaking their kiss and running a hand through his straight hair.
Vin's eyes followed the hand, tracking it's path as the late afternoon sun glinted off the blond strands, turning them into a golden halo. His eyes were darkened with desire and Chris had to pull his gaze away when the tip of Vin's pink tongue licked those full, kiss-swollen lips.
"Vin...," Chris gasped warningly. "We can't do this."
Vin let his eyes slowly travel down the broad shoulders, the narrow waist, to the tenting in the tight dress slacks.
An eyebrow arched and Vin looked knowingly up at the older man.
"Looks like you got some disagreement there on what we can't do," he said with a hint of smugness.
"Tanner," Chris growled. "You can't be starting anything you ain't ready to finish."
"Whaddya mean, I ain't ready?" Vin's eyes flashed. "I was born ready."
"Ha!" Chris laughed. "You'd fall asleep while we were still kissing."
"We kin do a lot a' other things while we're kissin'," Vin suggested, a wicked grin lighting up his face.
"Stop it," Chris scolded.
Vin's soft laugh had Chris smiling back at him, his relief almost overwhelming as he thought how grateful he was that Vin was getting better and getting stronger. He'd missed that wicked sense of humor in the dark days of spending silent vigil by Vin's bedside, watching the machines deliver oxygen and the tubes and wires deliver the pain medications and antibiotics to help his young lover recover from the dual traumas of the pneumonia and the gunshot wounds. At the time he would have given anything to see the flashing white teeth and sparkle in the blue, blue eyes, and now he had that gift back.
Vin's hand snaked toward Larabee's crotch, and Chris felt a jolt of desire flood through him. God, the things Tanner did to him.
Chris grabbed the wandering hand, and brought it up to his lips. He kissed the long fingers gently, feeling their dryness and the heat that spoke of the low-grade fever Vin was still running. He frowned, and Vin's eyes narrowed in concern.
"'M fine, Lar'bee," he said, shaking his head. "Jist a little fever, but the doc's got me on a new antibiotic. They wanted ta use penicillin but cain't, so's it's jist takin' a little time ta git it right. But it ain't nuthin' ta worry on."
"You sure? You'd tell me if it was different?"
"I'd tell ya. Cain't never lie ta ya, Chris. Ya know that, don'tcha?"
The blue eyes were wide, and Chris saw the worry and almost panic in them. He took in the increased, shallow breathing and knew Vin was getting himself worked up.
"Hey, baby..., shh..., it's okay. I believe you. You're good at a lot of things, Tanner, but lying isn't one of them."
Vin frowned, obviously trying to decide whether he should feel insulted, but the eyes softened and he tilted his head to the side.
Looking up at Chris through long, dark lashes, his soft rasp barely above a whisper, he murmured, "Kin show ya what else I am good at. Wanna show ya some a them things I'm real good at."
"Vin!" Larabee nearly squeaked, his eyes flying to the door.
He turned back to glare at his laughing young lover.
"Big, bad Lar'bee," Vin shook his head sadly. "Scair't of a couple little old nurses."
"I am not scared," Chris huffed, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'm just... cautious."
"Oh....," Vin nodded. "Cautious."
"And you should be cautious, too!"
"Ain't scair't a no little ol' nurses," Vin taunted, running a hand along Chris's leg, starting at his knee and caressing up the powerfully muscled thigh.
Chris grabbed that hand before it went any higher, and placed it firmly on the mattress. He held it down there gently, all the while scowling into that flushed, laughing face.
"You keep this up, and we'll be giving those 'little old nurses' a show!"
"Hell, Lar'bee," Vin's blue eyes flashed. "From what I seen a' the porn industry, seems ta me a big fantasy is nurses gettin' it done with their patients. Ya ever think mebbe a big fantasy a' nurses is seeing th' visitors gettin' it done with the patients? Who knows - might make their whole day t' walk in on you an' me all sweaty an' nekkid, your big dick slammin' inta my ass..."
"Vincent Michael Tanner!"
Vin's soft laugh pealed as he laughed at Chris's outraged protest.
"Yer awful purty when yer riled, Cowboy."
"I can't believe you said that!"
One slender shoulder shrugged under the thin hospital gown. "Jist a thought."
"Well maybe you'd better keep your thoughts to yourself."
"Don't wanna keep m' thoughts ta myself. Don't wanna keep m' hands ta myself."
"You're pretty adorable when you're pouting."
"'At's right. Make fun."
Just then one of the nurses walked in. She smiled at the tall blond who easily slid away to stand beside the bed. Jennifer, her name was, if Chris remembered right. One thing Chris was trying to learn from Buck is that nurses appreciated you knowing their names, and that could lead to better care for his partner. Not that big blue eyes and a sweet Texas drawl didn't count for far more!
"How's he doing, Jennifer?"
"His fever's a little high, Mr. Larabee," she smiled, trying to flirt with the handsome man with the beautiful green eyes. She'd heard he was Mr. Tanner's boss, and she thought it was sweet the way the team members looked out for each other.
"He is right here," Vin muttered.
She took Vin's temperature and frowned.
"Getting higher?" Chris asked.
"Not much, but it's not coming down like we'd hoped. I'll let the doctor know and I'm sure she'll be in if she's concerned," she smiled at Chris.
"I'm down here," Vin tried to interrupt.
Next Jennifer took his pulse and listened to his lungs. She smiled reassuringly down at Vin, but then reached over to get the oxygen mask.
"No," Vin shook his head.
"Tanner," Chris said, warningly.
"Don't need it," Vin insisted.
Jennifer and Chris exchanged glances. They could both hear the slight wheezing and rasping as Vin's lungs struggled to pull air in.
"We talked about this before," Jennifer told him, placing the canula around his neck. "You knew that this was a temporary break, but that you'd need the oxygen again."
Vin looked really upset, and Chris thought how really young it made Vin look. He looked a little scared, too.
"Don't let him give you any trouble," Chris told the pretty nurse.
"He's not any trouble," she smiled.
"I ain't deaf, ya know."
Chris stood behind the nurse where only Vin could see him. He hated to see the distress written on the fine-boned features, and the near panic in those bottomless blue eyes. Chris caught his eye and smiled reassuringly. He nodded at the Texan, and was relieved to see that even though it was a struggle, Vin was trying to make himself relax.
"Now you just rest easy," Jennifer told him, smoothing the covers over the slim body. "It's time for your pain medication, and that's probably going to make you sleepy. You just relax and let the oxygen help your lungs heal, all right?"
Vin just looked up at her, but didn't answer.
"Hey, it's not that bad, is it?" she said soothingly. "I know you can breathe on your own, but I can hear that it's really putting a strain on your lungs. The more you let the oxygen help, the sooner you'll be off it all together, okay? Now, Dr. Cooper is going to be by tonight, probably around eight or nine. She's most likely going to have you back on the full mask for over night."
Vin shook his head and tried to sit up, but she pressed him firmly down into the mattress. He gasped, and they heard his breathing get faster and more shallow.
"Vin, it'll be okay," Chris stepped up to the other side of the bed that Jennifer was on. He reached out and held Vin's arm, his touch making the younger man give him his attention.
"It's just to help you," Jennifer added. "You'll be asleep, most if not all night, we hope. Then you can heal and relax over night while you're sleeping, and let the medicine do it's job."
Even as she said that, Chris noticed that Vin's eyes were losing their focus as he tired. Jennifer smiled up at him, and gave Vin's shoulder one more gentle squeeze.
"You let me know if you need anything else," she said as she gathered up her supplies to leave. "I'll be back in a couple hours if I don't hear from you before that, and then the doctor will be by before she leaves for the night."
"Thank you, Jennifer," Chris smiled as she left the room.
"It's my pleasure," she winked.
No, Chris didn't doubt that for one minute.
"You okay?"
Sea green eyes soft with concern looked down into ocean blue. One slender shoulder shrugged, and Vin looked away.
"Tell me, Cowboy. Don't shut me out."
There was a long silence, but Chris had learned that pushing only made Tanner clam up even more. Finally he was rewarded, but the words were so soft he barely heard them.
"Jist..., the mask..., ah, hell. It's stupid."
"No, Vin. If somethin's upsetting to you, it's not stupid."
There was another long silence, and finally Vin drew a deep, shaky breath. Not meeting Chris's eyes, he admitted, "The mask jist makes me..., I jist..., I feel..., trapped."
The last word was spoken in a whisper. Blue eyes flickered up as if looking for signs of disgust, then flinched away.
"Ah, hell. Shit, Vin," Chris sighed. "It's okay. Nothin's gonna happen to you. Not while I'm here."
"I guess it kind of reminds me..., of being..., tied," Vin whispered.
Chris walked over to door, closing it firmly. He sat on the bed beside Vin, sliding his arm behind the slender shoulders, pulling Vin close to his body. Vin sighed contentedly, nestling into the strong, warm body. His head curved into Chris's shoulder, and Chris could feel the tension leaving the too-warm frame. Vin Tanner was one of the deadliest men he knew, but when he saw Vin like this, his baby face clean-shaven, wearing the thin hospital gown, he looked terribly young and frail and vulnerable. It caught his breath to think of anyone hurting Vin, and knowing how he'd been hurt in his life when he was younger and sick and hurt and had no one to care about him or watch out for him and keep him safe.
"I got your back, Cowboy," Chris murmured. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of Vin's head, stroking his long fingers gently through the dark, silky curls. "You just rest now. I got ya."
Vin just nodded, and Chris frowned to hear the wheezing as Vin's breathing got harder. He wondered how soon the nurse or doctor might come in and put Vin back on the oxygen mask. Didn't seem that the nasal canula was enough. As much as he knew how Vin hated it, if he needed it Chris wanted him on it. But right now Vin seemed to be relaxed and comfortable. He could feel the heat in the slender body, but then a shiver coursed through his young lover.
"Cold, baby?" Chris whispered, reaching down and pulling another blanket up around the slim shoulders.
"Maybe. A little."
"You just rest," Chris told him.
Vin sighed deeply again, settling into the warmth of the extra blanket and the strength and warmth of his older lover. Chris reached over to the side table and picked up the remote, finding a sports channel on the wall-mounted television. He turned the sound on low, and continued to rub soothing circles on Vin's arm.
"So Miss Nettie came again today?" Chris asked.
"Mmm-hmmm...," Vin responded sleepily.
"She brought you cookies again this time?"
"Yep. It was real nice of her. Couldn't eat too many, but the nurses sure liked 'em."
"Bet she scolded them, making sure they were taking good care of her boy."
Vin snorted softly.
"Yep. Think she got one 'er two of 'em worried she's gonna come after 'em if'n I's in pain."
"So how long did she stay?"
Silence.
"Vin?"
The younger man huffed.
"Don't rightly know. Kinda fell asleep."
"You did, huh?" Chris shook lightly with laughter.
"Irritatin', smug bastard, ain't ya," Vin turned a slitted blue eye up to glare at the older man.
"Nope. Just picturing you falling asleep in the middle of our 'hospital fantasy porn' act, just as a group of nurses come in."
"Well, hell, Lar'bee. It ain't like you ain't always gotta be in charge anyway. You kin jist be the whole star a' th' show."
Chris shook his head, trying to follow the mangled speech of his Texan.
"It's okay. I'm sure Miss Nettie was fine sitting here watching you sleep."
Vin yawned hugely, and sighed. Chris knew that the drugs were really starting to kick in.
"Ain't used ta folks watchin' me sleep. Ain't used ta folks carin' enough t' come see me. Most folks was jist mad at me fer causin' em problems by bein' sick 'r hurt..., even th' ones that put me in th' hospital in th' first place."
Chris felt his heart sink into his stomach. Oh, God. To think of a much younger Vin, nothing but tangled hair and huge blue eyes and skin and bones, being uncared for when he was really sick until he ended up in the hospital, or being beaten half to death. And then having those same people angry with him for not being able to work or earn his keep. Vin didn't talk about it much, and Chris suspected that the drugs were breaking down Vin's natural defenses to not talk about anything in his past.
As team leader, even before they had become lovers, Chris was aware of the gaps in Vin's history. He had learned more since then during the rare times when Vin was sick enough or drunk enough - or having nightmares - that he let something slip. Larabee felt sick, knowing also of the times Vin was homeless, living and struggling to survive on the streets, when he was too sick or too outnumbered to keep away from the predators. Chris was sickened to think of the brutal assault that had landed a starved, sick, teenage Vin Tanner in the hospital, and how Vin, always seeing the positive, had told him that at least for those weeks that it took his badly broken leg to heal he was warm and well fed, not having to worry about being attacked or worry about where he was going to sleep or what he was going to have to do to find food.
"Shh..., shh now, baby," Chris continued to soothe his lover softly. He nestled his cheek on top of Vin's head, and rubbed small, gentle circles on his back. Chris felt Vin's body getting heavier as sleep overtook him, and was grateful that the combination of medication and oxygen was helping his breathing as well as letting him relax enough to sleep. For a moment Chris looked over at his briefcase sitting on the chair across the room, reminded of the amount of work he had brought from the office. Then Larabee smiled ruefully to himself. There was nothing in that briefcase more important than the man he held in his arms. If he had to work at 3:00 a.m. to finish, he'd do it, but paperwork, Travis, and the ATF could all go to hell before he'd leave Vin Tanner alone when he needed him.
Chris leaned his head back and turned his attention to the sports channel playing on television. Chris loved sports as much as the next guy, but even he was amazed sometimes at the number of ways sportscasters could rehash the same 'news' over and over. When it was time for the news itself, Chris flipped to one of the regular stations, but found his attention drifting. Before he knew it, his eyes were growing heavier and the remote slipped from his lax fingers.
+ + + + + + +
The next several days were hard on Vin, and almost equally hard on Chris. Vin hated to be in the hospital, but his condition was severe enough that there was no way he would be out before several more days. It was hard on Chris to see the growing frustration and almost panic in Tanner's wide blue eyes as the delay wore on him physically and emotionally.
After Vin was finally allowed to walk a few times a day for a short series of trips around the hallways, he was finally declared ready to start more intense physical therapy. Chris wasn't always able to arrange his schedule at the office to be there for support, but the times he came he almost wished that he wasn't. No one pushed himself harder than Vin Tanner. Chris noticed the therapists shaking their heads behind his back. They were amazed at the tolerance the younger man had for pain, pushing himself beyond his endurance. In most cases, it was all they could do to push people through the minimum exercises, and had to put up with tears and moans and whining to get them through that. The two therapists had never worked with someone before who had such a high threshold for pain. He would endure whatever they asked of him without complaint, even though he was clearly at the end of his stamina. At the end of every session they had to insist on Vin stopping.
The physical therapy sessions would leave Vin drenched in sweat, his long hair and hospital gown clinging to his body. Tanner would be chalk white and shaking, panting and gasping from pain and exertion. His fine features would be drawn, his entire body rigid and tense, the skin pulled tightly across the sharp bones and small lines creased around his eyes and mouth.
Back in his room, the nurses would get him cleaned up as best they could, washing away the rapidly drying sweat from his body. They would wash his hair to make him feel better, and get him into a fresh hospital gown and drawstring pants. By the time he was helped into bed he could hardly stand from the weakness. Chris felt his gut clenching at the sight of his young lover so white and shaking and exhausted from the pain. Vin would be asleep almost instantly, and would sleep after every therapy session for hours. Chris hated to leave him alone, even while he was sleeping, so as often as he could Chris would bring work from the office to do at the small table in Vin's room.
Dr. Cooper came in at least twice a day, and would stop by to see him at other times if she happened to be at the hospital. The examinations were hard on Vin. Not only did he hate everything about being in the hospital, he especially hated to be touched. The longer he was in there, the more the doctor and nurses noted signs of stress and anxiety. Vin tracked their movements with wary eyes, and could barely keep from flinching when the staff had to take his temperature, pulse, and blood pressure. His doctor noticed the increased heart rate on the monitors every time hospital personnel entered the room. Her normal manner was firm and no-nonsense, but Chris noticed that she had begun to soften her attitude around the skittish Texan.
"How are you feeling?" she asked late the next morning, nodding to Chris as she entered the room.
"'M fine," he told her, trying not to look defiant while he was so weak his voice sounded breathless. He'd had physical therapy that morning early, but had awakened when Chris arrived at eleven.
Reaching toward the slender arm, she grasped the thin wrist with one hand while looking at her watch with the other. While Chris didn't see her react to Vin's obvious tension from her closeness, he knew the experienced surgeon hadn't missed it.
Dr. Cooper looked over her glasses, fixing the younger man with a stern glare. His cheeks flushed, but he glared right back.
"What? I'm okay. Jist need ta git outta here is all."
"You don't like my nurses? We're not taking good care of you?"
Instead of smiling at her teasing, Vin's mouth tightened and he looked more distressed.
"Ah, hell. It ain't that. Jist..., I cain't breathe in here any more."
"You're having trouble breathing?" she asked, concern evident at the doctor pulled the stethoscope from around her neck and placed it in her ears.
"No!" he gasped, flinching away. Then Vin bit his lip and lowered his eyes as his cheeks reddened with embarrassment. The flush was even more apparent on his too-pale skin, and drew attention to the dark smudges under his eyes.
"All right," she smiled kindly, putting the stethoscope away. "I'll believe you. Your lungs are sounding better. The incisions are healing nicely, and I'm glad to see that you've graduated to eating something other than green popsicles. Something a little more varied and healthy."
Vin nodded once but still didn't look at her. Every fiber in his slight frame screamed tension. Dr. Cooper decided to try another tack.
"I've consulted with Dr. Morgan. He's the physician in charge of the PT department. He tells me that you're working his therapists too hard."
Vin's sky-blue eyes flew up, wide and startled. She flinched inwardly. Her nurses were right. This was one patient who really couldn't stand to be here.
"What's wrong, Vin? Really?" her voice was low and gentle.
Tanner stared at her a long moment, as if seeking the truth of her concern in her eyes before responding.
He sighed heavily and shrugged one slender shoulder.
"It's jist..., I ..., I jist feel like I should be a lot ..., stronger by now."
Vin's soft voice was barely above a whisper. Part of it was just from physical exhaustion, but another part was from worry that he really wasn't getting better as quickly as he should.
"Oh, Vin," she cried softly. The doctor sat down on the bed facing him, and reached out to place her hand on the side of his thin cheek.
"Listen to me. All of us - all your doctors and nurses and therapists - are amazed at how quickly you are recovering. It's nothing short of a miracle. You could have died, Vin. You easily could have died. And to think that in just these short few days you are not only merely able to sit up in a chair, but that you're walking the hallways and starting physical therapy is incredible."
Chris was afraid to move from his spot standing in the corner. He'd been telling Vin that he was doing great, and the others - especially Nathan - had told him how good he was doing. Their sharpshooter had refused to believe them, clearly distressed that he wasn't up and running by now. Maybe his surgeon could convince him, Chris thought to himself. None of the rest of them had been able to get through that hard head of his.
Vin shook his head stubbornly, and Chris almost smiled. Dr. Cooper seemed like a very competent, forceful woman, but she was about to meet her match. Nobody could out-stubborn his Texan.
"I need ta git outta here."
Cooper sighed and shook her head gently.
"That's not going to happen yet, Vin."
At his look of panic she softened her tone and raised a hand to ward off the coming protest.
"Vin, you need to listen to me. I know you're not happy. I know you think you should be getting stronger faster. To you, you can't tell the change. But the rest of us are amazed at how well you're walking and how quickly your lungs and the surgical site are healing. It seems small to you, but it's not. You need to trust me."
Vin's mouth tightened and his blue eyes shimmered vividly with sudden tears.
"Maybe this will explain it better. Right now, Vin, it's like your body is a snow globe that someone picked up with a giant hand and shook the heck out of. Everything inside was torn up and jumbled around. You were shot - twice. Your leg was broken, your lungs and stomach and insides ripped apart. Not to mention the incisions that have to heal from where we had to go in and repair everything surgically. You're a snow globe and all the swirls have to have time to settle down."
Vin was still clearly upset.
"Not to mention," she continued with a firm glare over her glasses, "that little matter of you coming into my surgical operating room with a full-blown case of pneumonia."
Her mock-scolding tone caused his lips to twitch faintly, and Chris saw a hint of that little-boy look that Chris loved. A faint grin caused the dimples to appear in his thin cheeks, and Dr. Cooper smiled at him, clearly happy she'd relieved some of his tension.
"Tell you what. You try not to give my staff too hard of a time, and I'll do whatever I can to get you out of here as fast as possible."
At Vin's reaction, she placed her hand on his knee and squeezed gently.
"That does not mean you can start packing," she scolded warningly. "We're talking at least a week - possibly ten days and it should be at least fourteen. I'm making this promise against my better judgment, because medically I'd like you here close to another month. However, you're working hard, and you have to promise to rest when it's time to rest."
"I'll be good," Vin promised, nodding his head and looking so achingly young that Chris's throat tightened.
Apparently he had the same effect on Dr. Cooper, because she cleared her throat and swallowed hard before continuing.
"I know you will. But I have to warn you that all bets are off if you spike a fever or any other complications pop up. I'm not anticipating that they will, but if push comes to shove I have to err on the side of caution."
"Thanks, Doc," Vin sighed. "I'm real grateful to ya fer that."
"Yes, well. We'll see how it goes, all right? You just rest now."
Vin nodded enthusiastically, although he still wasn't strong enough to sit up in bed by himself. Chris couldn't help seeing the relief in Vin's posture, as he seemed more relaxed than he'd been in a long time.
"I'll be right back," Chris told Vin, smoothing the long hair back from his forehead before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
Vin nodded and closed his eyes, while Chris followed the doctor from the room.
"Dr. Cooper?" he called quietly. The tall woman stopped and turned, regarding him appraisingly. "How is he, Doctor? Really? Do you really think he'll be okay to leave in only a week?"
She looked sternly at Chris, and he resisted the urge to glare at her.
"Tell me something, Mr. Larabee. When Mr. Tanner leaves here, where will he go?"
"With me! I mean, to my ranch."
"I see. And where to you feel like he would have the best chance of getting better? Here, or at your ranch? With you?"
Chris sighed heavily, and ran long fingers through his straight blond hair.
"I want him home. I do. But I also worry about him. What if he gets worse? What if he spikes a fever? God, what if he falls?"
An orderly with a linen cart and a dietician with the meal trays nearly collided into them, and the doctor motioned for Chris to follow her into a small alcove overlooking the mountains in the distance.
"Mr. Larabee...,"
"Chris."
"All right. Chris. Except for a few old or lazy people who use the excuse of being in a hospital to pretend they are some sort of royalty and enjoy ordering the staff around, no one likes to be in a hospital. I have been practicing medicine longer than Vin Tanner has been alive, and I can honestly say I have never seen a patient as distraught to be here as he is."
Chris's mouth tightened and he debated with himself just how much to reveal about Vin's past. More than anything else, Vin hated feeling trapped. He needed to be outside and free to come and go as he pleased. And being in the hospital only brought up bad memories of the horrible and brutal beatings that had put him in the hospital in the past. Nothing about being here was a good thing.
"There are a lot of reasons for that," Chris finally told her. His tone made it clear the topic wasn't open for further discussion.
"I thought as much," she nodded. Chris suddenly saw the resemblance she had to Nettie Wells. He hadn't noticed it before, but it was clear to him now. They both had the same no-nonsense practicality about them. Both women had an attitude of not pulling any punches and doing what needed done without putting up with any whining. Neither one believed in sugar-coating the truth, or in hesitating to demand the highest standards and effort.
And neither could hide her affection for Vin Tanner.
"I don't think we'll ever know all the hell Vin's been through in his life," Chris told her, his tone softening. He surprised himself by the urge he had to share this much with her. "I just know that a lot of bad things happened to him when he was a kid. And a lot of those bad things landed him in the hospital."
"That doesn't surprise me, you may be surprised to know," Dr. Cooper said, removing her glasses and cleaning them with a cloth pulled from her lab coat. "I don't have a lot of time to devote to each of my patients, but I have observed a few things. The way he watches everyone in the room. The way he tenses and has to force himself not to flinch at every touch. I've seen his increasing panic at being here."
"Thank you, Doctor. I don't know if another doctor would have seen that, or understood him so well in such a short time."
"I've seen his scars, Mr. Larabee. He's far too young to have scars far too old. I try to be compassionate to all my patients. Yet every so often I find one who truly touches my heart."
"You've taken good care of him. I'm grateful to you for that."
"And when he gets out of here, you can continue taking good care of him."
Chris flushed slightly, not quite sure of her meaning. He didn't know whether she realized the true nature of his relationship with Vin. In the next instance he realized he didn't care if she did.
"Oh, I will," he replied with a slight grin.
"You'd better," she answered briskly, putting her glasses back on and preparing to continue her rounds. "Or I'll come and kick your ass."
Leaving a stunned Chris Larabee gasping and open-mouthed in astonishment, she winked before turning abruptly and heading back down the hall.
Smiling and shaking his head, Chris turned and headed back into Vin's room. His features softened at the sight before him. Vin Tanner was sound asleep, turned slightly on his side as much as the heavy cast on his leg would allow. For the first time Chris could remember, Vin's face seemed truly relaxed and free of the ever-present tension. The hand with the IV line rested across his stomach, the other one was up by his head on the pillow. It was an adorable sight. God, he looked young. But for the first time since this entire episode began, he truly didn't care. Vin might look like a kid while he was sleeping or comfortable around their friends and team and especially around Chris, but he was every bit the deadly and dangerous killer he had to be when the job required it.
Chris moved silently to the bed. Even this sick Vin was beautiful. He'd come so close to losing Tanner - first by throwing away their love because of something so stupid as their age difference. And then later by a criminal's bullet as Vin saved the life of a fellow agent.
"You're a fool, Larabee, to ever have thought you could give up this man," he whispered to himself. "You don't deserve him, but you just got a second chance not to screw up the best thing in your life."
Chris reached up to dim the light over Vin's bed, then placed a kiss on his forehead while pulling the blankets higher on Vin's body.
"C...risss....?" Vin murmured, barely above a whisper.
"Shh.... I'm right here."
"Love ya, Chris," the voice barely above a breath. Long, bony fingers reached for Chris, but still the blue eyes remained closed.
"I love you, too, Tanner."
"Did ya hear, Chris? I'm goin' home soon."
"You sure are," Chris smiled. "Can't wait to get you home and take real good care of you."
The generous mouth quirked into a faint smile.
"Like th' sound' a that, Cowboy."
Chris tightened his grip on Vin's hand to squeeze lightly. He kissed Vin's eyelids, then cheekbones, then the tip of his perfect, straight nose and finally his mouth.
"Hush now. Sleep. I've got your back, and I'm not leaving."
Vin sighed deeply and the grip of his hand grew lax.
"I'm not ever leaving," Chris vowed, his promise quiet but firm with conviction in the stillness of the hospital room.
The next week was a mix of anticipation and frustration for Vin. He couldn't wait to get out of the hospital, but at times he pushed himself too hard. After those instances he would lay back on his pillow, exhausted, sweating, white and shaky from the exertion.
Any slight setback to his recovery was also devastating to him. Two days after his talk with Dr. Cooper, Vin spiked a fever. She ruled out physical therapy for that day, ordering a new batch of tests and an increased strength to the dosage of his antibiotic.
The hardest on all of them, though, was seeing the panic flare in the wide, expressive blue eyes. The new medication hit Vin's system hard, leaving him fragile and emotionally vulnerable. It nearly broke Chris's heart to hear Vin tearfully pleading with him to get him out of there. When Vin said he couldn't take it any more, the panic in Vin's voice revealed just how close the young man was a full-out melt-down. He was so distraught Dr. Cooper finally had to order a sedative.
Laboratory tests and blood work showed that the combination of medications had contributed to Vin's unnerving near loss of control. Yet at the same time Chris felt Tanner's distress at the setback was real and his panic genuine and not completely connected to the medications.
After Vin was given the sedative, he slept for nearly twenty hours straight. Chris barely left his side for no more than five of those hours until their teammates came in and forced Chris to go to Buck and JD's apartment for a very much needed break. It was only after Dr. Cooper assured Chris that Vin wouldn't wake up for several more hours that he agreed to leave. Ezra drove him, while Buck and JD settled in to Vin's room. Josiah and Nathan were staying at the office and sent word to Chris that Director Travis had authorized all the additional time off for Chris that he needed.
The sleep did Chris a world of good. He'd been wearing himself out, afraid to ever fall asleep in case that was the moment Vin would wake up alone. It was a good plan by the other team members to have Buck and JD at the hospital so that Chris's sleep would be uninterrupted. Ezra didn't even fuss too overly much at the condition of the Wilmington-Dunne abode, although Chris was pretty sure he overheard something muttered about it not being referred to as the CDC for nothing.
The sleep also did Vin good. His fever broke finally, and the true rest he was finally able to get seemed to make a huge difference. His eyes were clear and bright, and when Chris walked back into his room after his own restful sleep, he was relieved and happy to see Vin trying to play cards with Wilmington while JD chattered about the new computer game that he'd ordered.
The next three days saw Tanner making a dramatic improvement, to the point where even Vin was reassured that he was making progress. Friday morning Vin was sitting up in bed reading the latest spy novel that Ezra had given him a couple nights ago. When Dr. Cooper entered the room, huge, hopeful blue eyes met hers.
She frowned, and Tanner visibly wilted. Not liking to see him so discouraged, she gave him a warm smile.
"Where's your bodyguard in black this morning?"
"Huh? Oh, ya mean Chris? He had a meetin' with Director Travis. He couldn't get out of it."
Her lips twitched and she couldn't keep the sparkle out of her eyes.
"I'll bet he tried."
Vin smiled and blushed furiously. Long, thick dark lashes curved over the high, hard cheekbones.
Lord's sakes, was he adorable. She was going to have a lot of heartbroken nurses when their Texan was discharged.
"Let's see how you're doing this morning."
"'M fine. It's been seven days. I kin go home, right?"
"Vin, I know how badly you want out of here. I want you out of here. I'm also pretty sure my staff wants you out of here."
Vin blushed again, his cheeks staining pink while his lashes again curved long and dark over his cheekbones.
"'M sorry. I know I've been a pain in the a...butt. It ain't like I ain't grateful to all a' you fer what ya've done fer me. It's jist...."
"I know. You want to be home. There's nothing wrong with that. But Vin, you need to listen to me."
She waited until the sad and worried blue eyes met her steel gray ones.
"I'm not sending you home until you are ready. I don't want you having a relapse because you went home too soon."
She sighed inwardly when she saw the look of resignation and defeat cross his fine features. The eyes grew even sadder and Tanner lay back heavily against the upraised pillows of his bed.
"But mostly I don't want to deal with that intimidating and over-protective Larabee, trying to glare holes in me and my staff because I sent you home before you were well enough to be there."
She was rewarded when one corner of his mouth twitched, and blue eyes sparkled up at her.
"Aw, he ain't s' bad. Jist likes ta try ta scare people is all."
Dr. Cooper rolled her eyes. She had no doubt that he did indeed scare people. A lot. But that something about this young blue-eyed Texan had seen right through him, and he hadn't been scared at all. She wished she could have been there for that first meeting. She'd seen Chris Larabee intimidate her nurses, the orderlies, the emergency room staff and admitting clerks. For that matter, she'd seen him nearly terrify the floor security officers when the nurses weren't aware that Tanner had been sent for more x-rays and they had lost him. Yet she had never seen him be anything but tender and gentle and patient with Vin. Larabee had spent far more time in the hospital watching over Vin than she would have ever imagined. Suppressing a shudder, she hated to think what he was like when forced to leave the hospital to attend to his work. She didn't envy his subordinates one bit.
The doctor did a thorough exam, checking and double checking the numbers and lab results. She called one of the nurses in and ordered two more blood tests, pretending she didn't see Vin's mouth tighten and the way his breath hitched when the lab attendant came in to draw the blood. She took off the dressing by his stitches to see how the incision was healing, and asked Vin about what his orthopedic surgeon had said about his leg. She seemed pleased that Vin was scheduled to have a new, smaller cast put on next week. They talked about how well Vin was walking and able to move around fairly well. She knew he was frustrated that he was still so weak and tired easily.
Dr. Cooper had gotten to know her patient enough to realize that Vin was reluctant to express that worry to her. She knew he was afraid she would use that as another reason to keep him here.
"Well, I think you can call your bodyguard, Mr. Larabee, and tell him that if everything goes okay with this latest blood test, he can take you home later this afternoon."
Wide, startled blue eyes flew up to meet hers. She looked into glittery sapphire blue, hope and wariness vying for the overriding emotion.
"Really? Ya mean it? I kin go home?"
His little-boy excitement and hopefulness almost melted her heart.
She smiled, genuinely happy for him. "I mean it. Provided.... the test comes back with good numbers. I fully expect that it will, but for my own peace of mind I want numbers to go with my hunch. The last round of antibiotics messed with your system and the other pain medications and drugs still in your body from the surgery. I think we've gotten that all under control but I just want to be sure.
"Thanks, Doc. I mean it. Jist...., thanks."
The smile crinkled his eyes and dimples creased the thin cheeks, but Vin's eyes were clear and bright and he really did look healthy enough to go home. He was one of her miracles, and she was exceedingly grateful that the Lord had seen fit to provide her the means to save this one. Vin Tanner obviously had a lot of people who cared deeply about him, and one in particular who was deeply in love with him. She knew he would be just fine.
+ + + + + + +
"Hey, Cowboy, we're home," Chris called gently.
Sleepy blue eyes opened slowly, as Vin sighed and took a deep breath. He went to settle more comfortably in the corner of the big cab truck.
"Hey, none of that. Time to get you into the house."
Vin scowled at him, grumpy from being wakened from a sound sleep. Chris just smiled. They'd barely made it out of the hospital, between all the nurses and orderlies and staff stopping them to say good-bye and wish him well. He'd been followed by no less than three overflowing carts full of plants and flowers and balloons and candy. At the door Vin insisted that the nurses share the candy, and asked that they give the planters and still-fresh flowers and balloons to anyone on the floor who didn't have any and who could use some cheering up. Several nurses were almost in tears at the evidence of such thoughtfulness, and Chris, who didn't think he could love Vin any more, just felt that love grow a little bigger right then. He knew Vin was selfless and incredibly thoughtful, knew the younger man was always looking after people worse off then himself. But it just never would have occurred to him to give away his gifts like that to people who needed it more and who would really enjoy those things. He could almost picture Ezra saluting him, two fingers held to the imaginary brim of a hat, saying, "Our Robin Hood...."
Getting dressed and then the wheelchair ride to the hospital entrance, the prolonged good-byes and the pain of maneuvering his heavy cast into the vehicle had completely exhausted Vin. His features were white and drawn, and he was shaking and panting by the time Chris got in on his side and started the truck. Vin was curved into the corner of the truck and sound asleep before they got to the expressway leading out of the city.
Chris went around the truck and opened Vin's door. He rolled his eyes and then shook his head when Vin swatted his hand away when he went to unclasp the seatbelt. Finally Vin sighed and leaned away, giving Chris unspoken permission to help him out of the truck.
Chris stifled a grin when he looked up into stricken blue eyes swimming with unshed tears.
"Hey. Hey, now. What's wrong? What is it, baby?"
Vin's mouth tightened and he shook his head.
"Are you hurting? Let's get you inside."
"Ain't hurtin'. Well, not much. Jist so goddamned helpless."
"Vin. Listen to me."
Chris placed a hand on Vin's chin, gently holding the strong jaw. He knelt down until he could see in Vin's lowered eyes.
"You're not helpless. It's okay to need a little help right now. You know that Dr. Cooper didn't want you going home just yet. It was only you looking at her with those sad, baby blue puppy-dog eyes that got her to let you out of there in the first place."
Vin's mouth quirked, and Chris saw him trying not to laugh.
"Naw. It was yer glarin' that got her to set me free. Said you was scarin' her nurses half t' death."
"Her nurses weren't afraid of you. Heard they were bribing each other to get a turn to give you your bath."
Vin blushed furiously.
"Thought you was gonna git me in th' house. Instead yer out here, makin' me sit in th' cold, probably gettin' pneumonia again, while ya poke fun at me..."
The tirade was building up steam even as Vin's strength was clearly fading.
Chris laughed out loud, and Vin looked up, startled.
"God, I love you, Tanner. I missed you so much. It's great to have you home, here where you belong."
"Love you, too, Lar'bee."
By the time the two men got up the porch steps and to the front door, Chris was practically carrying Vin. His slight weight leaned heavily against the older man, and Chris briefly wondered how much Tanner would protest if he just scooped him up and carried him the rest of the way. That thought didn't last long. He didn't want to tangle with a pissed off Texas wildcat, and Vin would fight him no matter how sick or injured he was if he was mad enough. Mule-stubborn, scrawny-assed, blue-eyed, long-haired....lover.
Chris smiled to himself as his partner's tirade wound down. Vin could be headstrong and defiant when he needed to be, and that trait had probably allowed him to survive on more than one occasion. Vin was fiercely independent and Chris wouldn't do anything to make him feel even more vulnerable than he was already feeling.
Chris got Vin settled on the couch in the large family room. He noticed the fine lines of tension to Vin's features, and the faint sheen of sweat on his ashen skin. Vin closed his eyes and leaned back against the cushions. Chris didn't think Vin even noticed when he left the room.
"Here. Take these."
Slitted hazy blue eyes opened, and Vin saw the pills in Chris's hand and the glass of orange juice in the other. He was starting to shake his head when the green eyes grew stern.
"Don't even think about saying no, Tanner."
Vin glared right back, then sighed heavily. He reached for the juice and his eyebrows raised with curiosity after swallowing the pills.
"It's mango-peach," he smiled. "I remembered how much you like it when we stopped at that little restaurant when we went to that last seminar in Maine."
"But how...?...where...?"
Chris shrugged, but was obviously pleased at Vin's delight.
"Made a couple calls to health food and specialty stores. Yellow pages come in handy."
"JD, you mean."
Chris flushed and Vin laughed.
"Busted."
"Well, all right. I might have mentioned it to him, might have suggested he could look around for me."
Vin lifted a thin hand toward Chris, who reached for it. Their fingers threaded together as they smiled, almost giddy from relief and happiness at being alone again together at the ranch.
Chris leaned down and lightly kissed Vin's fingers, then his lips. The younger man whimpered at the loss of his touch when Chris pulled away.
"You need food."
"I need you."
Chris smiled, and Vin's eyes softened.
"You should smile more, Cowboy. Looks good on ya."
Larabee tried to scowl but couldn't pull it off. He smiled again and sat on the coffee table in front of Vin.
"You make me smile. You gave that back to me."
Vin's pale features colored faintly pink and he looked shy and happy.
"Didn't do nuthin' but love ya, Chris."
Vin's voice was soft and gravelly, weak and still hoarse from his illness. Chris thought it was the sexiest sound he'd ever heard.
"That's a whole hell of a lot more than 'nothin'," Chris assured him softly. "Never thought I'd smile again. Never thought I'd laugh or be happy. I never expected to be so ... content. But then I saw you. I tried not to love you. Tried to pretend I didn't love you, told myself we were just good friends. Brothers even. But God, Tanner, I loved you from the start."
Vin tugged Chris's hand and pulled him over to sit side by side. With his free hand he threaded his fingers through the straight blond strands, then cupped Chris's face.
"Reckon you was jist scared. I cain't explain how I felt about ya, Chris. I saw ya, lookin' all fierce an' proud. You was angry and yet I knew you was jist worried about yer men and makin' sure justice was done and th' bad guys caught. You was about the finest thing I'd ever seen."
"I remember glaring at you," Chris half-scowled, half-smiled at the memory. "Thought you were some damn fool kid who was damn stupid for being there and damn lucky didn't get his head blown off sticking it where it didn't belong. Sure was a surprise when I realized you'd saved Nathan's life. Could have been so much worse for the rest of us if you weren't there watching our backs even then."
"You was still pissed."
"Yeah. But it didn't phase you."
"Hell, I knew ya weren't really angry at me."
"Ya did, huh?"
"Yep. It jist felt... right, somehow. Felt like I was where I was supposed ta be. Watchin' yer back and lookin' out for ya. For the first time in as long's I kin remember I felt like I w's where I w's supposed ta be."
"You're right where you're supposed to be now," Chris said. He leaned forward and kissed Vin, then rested his forehead against the soft long hair. "I'm going to keep you here with me, and I'm never gonna let you go."
Vin heard the fear underlying the words spoken, and pulled back slightly. He anxiously searched the deep green eyes.
"Ain't gonna go nowhere, Cowboy. Ain't never gonna leave ya."
"God, Vin. You almost died!" Chris's voice cracked with emotion.
"Shh..., shh...," Vin awkwardly pulled him into an embrace, his arms circling the tense shoulders. "It's all right. 'M okay."
"I almost lost you, Vin," Chris whispered, clutching the slender form tightly to him. 'I thought..., I was afraid I'd lost you. So afraid...."
"Hey, listen ta me," Vin's voice was firm and serious in spite of the roughness. "If I've learned one thing in life it's that you cain't live in a 'what-if' or 'if-only' world. Lots a' bad things happen ta people who ain't done a damn thing ta deserve it. But if ya dwell on th' bad things, ya might not be payin' attention when one a' them good things comes around. We got each other, an' that's the best thing of all. We're here, we're t'gether, and we're healthy, and that's what matters."
Chris snorted and Vin could feel his smile from where his cheek was pressed against his shoulder.
"Well, all right. Basically mostly healthy. But yer th' best thing in my life, Chris. An' if I had ta go through a lotta 'what if' and 'if only' years ta git ta you, I reckon it was worth it. 'Cause you're worth ever'thing ta me."
Chris felt tears spring to his eyes when he heard the deep sincerity of those heartfelt words.
"I thought my life was over when Sarah and Adam died. But you came along and gave me my life back. I went through a lot of pain and anger and bitterness over what happened. Then you came along, with a lifetime of pain and reasons to be angry and bitter. But you aren't."
"Maybe I was jist hangin' on long enough fer you ta find me. Maybe I didn't think there was anyone out there who could really love me, but some little part of me kept hopin' maybe there was."
"I love that you hung on until I could find you."
"Reckon I was lost. Jist figured that was how it was always gonna be for me."
"Not any more. Not ever."
The two broke apart as the kitchen timer dinged. Vin looked puzzled and Chris grinned and winked.
"Soup's on."
"What?"
"I made chicken soup. The chicken and carrots and celery have been simmering in the broth all day in the crackpot. When we got home I added a bag of noodles. Should be perfect."
"Ya made soup fer me? I mean, not out of a can?"
"Yes, I made soup for you. I liked doing it, liked thinking about how you would like it when you tasted all the celery and carrots and chicken I chopped up."
"Don't think anyone ever made real soup jist fer me b'fore. It sounds great, and smells real good, too."
"I'll go get a couple bowls and bring them in on a tray. You stay put and I'll be right back."
Vin chuckled quietly.
"What?"
"I was jist thinkin' about when Doc Cooper first said I could have real food an' then they brung me this lukewarm broth. I snuck a peek at th' menu, and it claimed ta be 'chicken rice' soup. I kept puzzlin' on jist how it could be chicken-rice soup with no chicken an' no rice. I guess I kin sort a' see that th' chicken would a' given it some flavor even though it was strained out, but the 'rice' is a mystery."
Chris laughed out loud.
"I don't know about that. One more hospital idiosyncrasy, I guess. Like telling you to sleep but then coming in every hour on the hour to draw blood. But this soup has real chicken and real vegetables and real noodles."
"Umm..., sounds good. I'm lookin' forward ta gettin' a good night's sleep with nobody stabbin' me with needles all the time, or takin' my blood pressure or wakin' me up ta tell me ta rest."
The two men spent a contented evening. They enjoyed the hearty homemade soup, and then Chris pulled Vin against his chest and held the younger man encircled in his arms as they watched sports on television. When Vin's body seemed to grow heavier, Chris roused him to go to bed.
"Come on, Tanner. Let's get you to bed."
"Thought you'd never ask."
"To sleep."
Vin snorted.
"I'll sleep. Eventually."
Chris rolled his eyes as he got up and then leaned down to help Vin. The two men worked their way slowly down the hall, and Chris got Vin into the bathroom while he turned down the comforter in the bed. When Vin emerged, Chris rushed across the room to help him.
"Come on to bed before you collapse, Tanner."
"Like th' sound a' that."
"Bed? Or collapse?"
"Smart-ass."
Vin sat on the edge of the bed while Chris knelt before him. He unbuttoned the flannel shirt, then gently pulled if from Vin's shoulders. Careful of the bandages still protecting the incision on Vin's side, he helped Tanner get his arms out of the long-sleeved tee-shirt and pulled it over his head. Chris's breath caught at seeing the smooth, still faintly tanned skin above and below the stark white of the bandages wrapped around his middle.
"Need help with th' rest."
Vin's voice was low and raspy, and Chris startled from where he'd been staring. He felt mesmerized by the look and feel of Vin's naked skin, and now breathed in the scent of his lover. The medicine smell was still faintly there, and the usual hint of horses and leather was missing, but it was still the familiar scent of his lover.
Chris felt the tightening in his jeans as his cock grew instantly. He didn't want to hurt Vin. He knew the younger man had to heal more and that he wasn't strong enough yet for love-making. But, God, did he want to make love to his partner. He'd missed him, been scared that he was going to lose him, and even while Vin recovered they had spent a lot of lonely nights away from each other. Even when Chris fell asleep in the chair beside Vin's hospital bed, it was nothing like how they would spoon together, curled up in their big bed with Vin's head on Chris's shoulder, Chris's chin resting on his soft hair and his strong arms holding Vin close.
"Chris?"
Larabee looked up at the soft, questioning tone, and saw Vin's eyes darken with lust. He looked down again to the drawstring waist of Vin's sweatpants, and realized that the younger man was also aroused.
"Vin..., we can't."
"I need ya, Chris."
"Vin...."
"Please. I missed ya. I cain't help needin' ya, Chris."
Chris heard the pleading in the gravelly voice, and he looked up into those goddamn beautiful blue eyes. The tightness in his jeans increased, and he sighed heavily.
"If we do this, Tanner, you have to promise to let me do all the work."
The tangled head nodded, and Vin's eyes darkened with lust and hope.
"I'll be good."
Chris grinned.
"I'm countin' on it."
"Goddamn uppity smart-ass ..."
Vin's tirade was cut off with a gasp when Chris's hand found his dick and squeezed lightly.
"Shit!"
"Mouthy little bastard, aren't ya?" Chris teased.
Blue eyes slitted in anger but quickly widened and darkened with lust as Chris continued his gentle assault.
"Seems you've got a little problem here, pard."
"What're you callin' little?"
Chris laughed softly.
"Let's get you settled, and a little more undressed."
"Like th' sound a' that."
Chris moved from the floor to stand up, and helped Vin move until he lay back against the stack of pillows on the bed. Chris gently straddled Vin's thighs, being careful of the heavy cast. He grasped the slender wrists and pressed them firmly into the mattress, making it clear that he was doing all the work and Vin was to behave and not hurt himself.
Vin's breathing increased but Chris was relieved to notice that it wasn't harsh or wheezing. His lips parted and the tip of his pink tongue slowly traced around that luscious mouth. Chris leaned forward and captured that mouth with his own. His tongue traced the lips, then his teeth nipped lightly at the lower one before his tongue demanded entrance to Vin's mouth. The younger man breathed deeply and sighed into the movement, moaning softly with need and want.
Chris's hands were busy, tracing lightly over the strong shoulders. He sat up, hearing Vin's whimper of loss when their mouths and tongues parted. The sense of loss immediately turned to one of arousal as Chris's hands found Vin's nipples. First with the flat palms of his hands and then he rolled the nipples between his thumb and forefingers. Vin gasped and bucked as the sensation threatened to send his nerves into overdrive. Chris pulled lightly, and gently twisted them from side to side.
Chris felt his own breath catching at the sight of Vin's obvious pleasure. The younger man was flushed, his eyes closed as the feelings of passion overwhelmed him. God, Vin was beautiful. Those tiny nipples on that hard, smooth chest were tantalizing to feel and taste and play with. He loved being able to drive Vin crazy by merely tormenting the sensitive buds.
Chris could feel the press of Vin's arousal against his ass, and he squirmed. He was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath.
Chris moved his hands down lower, lightly tracing the bandaged ribs and finding the smooth skin below. He felt the flutter of muscles as they tensed and twitched under his hands. Chris raised up on his knees. His hands reached for the loose elastic of the waistband on Tanner's sweatpants. He slid his fingers along the band between the fabric and soft skin and Vin hissed in a breath and arched upward.
"Shh..., easy now. Don't be putting pressure on that cast," Chris soothed him. He didn't want Vin trying to dig his heels into the mattress and hurting his leg.
"Need ya, Chris. Please...."
Chris lightly traced over the bandages again, frowning, and Vin opened his eyes. He shook his head, looking knowingly and compassionately at Chris.
"Don't. Don't think about that. Jist love me."
Chris smiled, the love and delight softening his face and creasing small lines around his eyes.
"Always, Cowboy. Now, what do you say about getting you a little more undressed."
"Sounds like a plan ta me. You look a little overdressed ta me yerself."
"Don't rush me."
"Goddamn bossy ....ummph!"
Chris leapt up and pounced on Vin from the side, capturing that smart mouth with his own. His tongue pressed in and the warm sweet mouth opened to his searching tongue. Vin moaned and melted into the kiss.
Finally Chris broke the connection and went back to getting his hands on Vin's sweatpants and working them down carefully over the long slender legs and heavy cast. He chuckled that he'd finally discovered a way to make Tanner shut up. All he had to do was kiss the man senseless.
Chris's hands over Vin's body created a nearly overload of sensation. For so long the only touches he'd had had other than the basic minimum his lover could get away with had been from the medical personnel. As gentle and professional as they were, it still felt like an invasion and he'd hated every touch. Chris had for the most part only been able to hold his hand or rub his arm, although Chris had once or twice crawled into Vin's bed and held his arms around the younger man. Other than the few stolen kisses, they'd been physically apart for the longest amount of time since they had first realized their love for each other.
Chris lowered the sweatpants carefully, his breath hitching a sharp intake when Vin's cock was released. He moved back up along Vin's body, hands kneading and touching and gentling over Vin's foot and calf and finally both thighs where the cast ended. Vin's hands were clenched tight in the bedcovers, and his head was thrown back. His teeth captured his lower lip as he struggled to maintain control.
"Oh, God, Chris. God...., I cain't... I ..., Jesus!"
Larabee continued his sweet torment, delighting in driving Vin to the brink of sensation. He knew it was getting close to crossing the line between pleasure and pain, and he didn't want to be the source of pain for his lover. He knew Vin was close, and he wanted to make it good.
"Shh..., it's gonna be all right now. Just relax and let me do this."
Vin reached up one hand and grasped for Chris's shoulder. He clenched tightly, then moved his hand along Chris's back and up through his hair, wherever he could touch.
"Ya feel s' good, Chris. Needed ta touch ya so bad. I missed this.... missed ya so bad."
Chris raised his head and kissed Vin's flat belly. He lightly bit and tasted the perfect skin, blowing air over the wet marks and seeing the muscles flutter. He dipped his tongue into the shallow, perfect navel and Vin nearly bucked him off. Chris held the slender hips firmly, using both hands to keep him still.
"So beautiful. So goddamn fucking beautiful. God, Vin.... The things you do to me...."
Vin panted and whimpered, so overloaded with sensation that he couldn't speak.
Chris knew they were both close. Damn, he couldn't remember being so hard without Vin hardly touching him. He scooted into a better position to take Vin's cock in his mouth. The pressure of the mattress pressed into his own thick, swollen cock and he moaned at the slight friction.
Vin gulped air and froze, his entire body thrumming from the electricity of nerve endings, feeling jolts of lightening-like heat shooting through his body until every bit of feeling was concentrated at his cock. Chris opened his mouth and engulfed the swollen head of Vin's dick, the moist heat and tightness was so excruciatingly intense that Vin couldn't breathe. He wanted to hold onto that feeling forever, as powerful waves of pleasure crashed over him. Chris sucked at him, then pulled off to nibble down the side of his cock, finding the thick vein and licking at it. His hand went to the base of Vin's cock, finding the high, hard ball sac and then his fingers found the tender skin leading to his small opening.
Vin gasped, a sharp cry escaping when Chris touched him there. Chris's hands and mouth were everywhere, touching his cock, his opening, fondling and rolling his balls between the long fingers. Chris's mouth suddenly swooped down over his leaking shaft, and Vin's cries and whimpers and moans created an overload of sensation for Chris as well. He breathed in deeply, driven crazy by the scent of his lover.
Chris sucked and engulfed Vin's cock deeper and deeper, sucking harder as he worked Vin's balls. He lifted away from Vin's dick long enough to wet his own fingers, and then as he took the long thick cock into his mouth again he moved his hand between Vin's parted thighs and ass cheeks and carefully slid a finger into Vin's tiny opening. Vin cried out and bucked hard, and Chris had to use a forearm pressed against Vin's belly to hold him still. The younger man whimpered and panted, unable to focus on anything but the fire snaps of electricity driving him to the brink of release.
"Chrissss...." Vin breathed, "Fuck! Ohgodohgodohgod.....!"
The breathless panting increased, interspersed with small cries and whimpers. Chris took Vin even deeper, and grasped his cock at the base then spread his hands to encompass the tight, full ball sac. He hummed deep in his throat and Vin exploded in a torrent of seed shooting down Chris's throat. He continued to swallow and milk Vin's sac until the younger man's cock softened and slid from his mouth. Both of them lay panting and gasping for breath. Chris laid his head against Vin's belly, and felt Vin's long fingers carding through his sweat-dampened hair.
Vin's breathing evened out and Chris felt the hand go still. He knew that Vin was falling asleep, and he wanted to get them cleaned up and Vin tucked into bed before he got chilled. The last thing they needed was for Vin to spike another fever or have a relapse. It would be devastating for the younger man to have to go back to the hospital.
"Hey," he said, pushing himself up on his elbow. He brushed Vin's wet curls off his forehead. Sleepy blue eyes opened and Vin gazed up at him with a blinding smile.
"Hey yerself."
"You need to go to bed."
"Am in bed. Y'ain't gittin' s' old ya don't know where yer at, are ya?"
"Smart-ass. I mean, you need to get some more clothes on and get under the covers."
"Got me a nice warm cowboy ta keep me all warm an' toasty. Don't need nuthin' else."
"You say that now, but you're still a couple quarts low on blood and I don't want you waking me up in the middle of the night because your teeth are chattering so loud I can't sleep."
Vin glared at him, and his eyes sparked with irritation. Then suddenly his expression changed and he looked worried.
"What?" Chris asked him, frowning.
"You. You didn't..., I mean..., I need ta take care a' you."
Chris looked away and shook his head. Then he looked back to see the love and concern reflected in those bottomless blue eyes.
"I did. I mean, you already did take care of me. Just touching you, smelling you.... You're so beautiful and wild. You're so free and giving when we make love. Just kissing you..., that sweet mouth.... Touching you..., your hair, your skin.... God, your nipples alone are sexy as hell. Driving you crazy drives me crazy. I was laying on the sheets, and..., well,... when you came, I came."
Vin's smile was wide and little-boy happy. His eyes sparkled with pleasure and contentment. He reached up a slender arm and pulled Chris's head down to his for a gentle kiss.
"Love you, Cowboy. That was..., amazing."
"For me, too," Chris smiled, his face inches from Vin's. "Now, lets get some clothes on you."
"Could we not?" Vin asked hesitantly. "I jist..., maybe if we added another blanket? I jist wanta feel you next ta me."
Chris smiled warmly. Vin asked for so little, and he guessed they could try it. If Vin got cold in the night they could add sweatpants and a sweatshirt then, or wrap in him in a warm flannel robe. He knew that he would be too hot, but that was a gift he was willing to give for Vin.
Chris got Vin comfortable, and he heard the hitch in Vin's breath and saw the younger man wince at the movement of his cast where it pulled at his side as Vin tried to get comfortable. He pulled on sleep pants long enough to go through the house making sure that the lights were off and the alarms set. Then he returned with a glass of ice water and two more pills.
Larabee knew that Vin must be hurting when he didn't even pretend to protest.
"You okay?" he asked worriedly.
"More than okay," Vin answered, a wicked gleam in his eye. He couldn't mask the fact that he was too pale and his hand was trembling slightly as it reached for the glass. Chris knew he was hurting, but also knew that Vin would continue to insist he was fine.
"Maybe I jist decided I'd do ya a favor and not give ya a hard time."
"Ha!" Chris snorted. He set the glass down on the side table, and walked over the windows to pull aside the drapes and look out.
"What'cha lookin' for?"
"I figured the first time you didn't give me a hard time was when pigs would fly. I want to see the flying pigs."
"Think yer funny, don'tcha?" Vin pouted. "Goddamn, uppity, know-it-all, sonofabitchin' cowboy smartass...."
Chris walked over to the bed and slowly put his hands at his waistband. He watched as Vin's eyes grew wider and his tirade tapered off to nothing. The tip of that tiny pink tongue came out and licked those luscious full lips, and Chris felt himself get half hard at the sight of Vin's obvious arousal and interest.
He pulled the sweatpants off, hearing Vin's sharp intake of breath.
"Chrissss....."
"Nighty-night, Tanner."
Vin scowled up at him, reluctantly drawing his gaze away from where Chris's cock nestled in the thick light brown curls.
"Soon. We have time. You're home, where you belong. We'll get you better."
"I'm already better," Vin sighed. Chris turned out the light and crawled into bed next to Tanner. He was relieved that while the slender frame felt cool, it didn't seem too overly chilled. Chris was really happy Vin didn't feel excessively warm, either, which would indicate a threat of fever. He had steaks in the fridge and planned lots of spinach salad at meals over the next several days to help build up Vin's iron supply from the loss of blood. He chuckled to himself to think how horrified and queasy Vin had looked when Dr. Cooper had told him to eat liver. Tanner had nearly gagged and even the doctor had had to smile and roll her eyes. When she allowed that steak was a close enough substitute, Chris had thought the younger man was going to kiss her.
"I'm better, too. Needed you here, Tanner. I couldn't sleep in this bed without you either."
They settled in together and even with the cast managed to nestle Vin's head on Chris's shoulder. He felt Vin's smile against his chest and tightened his hold on the younger man. Their jobs were dangerous, and anything could happen to either of them at any time. But for tonight, in this place and this time, their world was perfect.