Author's Notes : This is probably the second fic in our Love and Honor series. The first one isn't written yet. Men Who Value Integrity and Debts Not Owed are sequels, but not the next ones in the series. Those aren't written yet either.
Kim wants to thank Farad for being a terrific writing partner and Nancy for a beta reading and encouragement. Fara wants to ditto back to Kim and also thank Nancy for beta reading!
This is becoming too much fun!
"What are you doin' here, Vin?" Chris said and drank the last swallow of whiskey that was left in his bottle.
"Didn't think you should be alone," Vin said quietly. "Drinkin' like you been, you need someone to watch your back."
"Ain't my back you wanna watch, is it?" Chris sat the empty bottle down on the rough table that sat beside the bed. "Alright, you want it, come and get it," he said, spreading his legs wide on the bed and stroked himself through the fabric of his pants.
"Didn't come here for that," Vin said. Color rose in his cheeks, hot and pure, and Chris felt his own blood rising.
"You always come here for this," he said, and unbuttoned his pants. He reached inside and pulled out his slowly-growing cock. "You got work to do before it's any good to you, though."
Chris could see the way Vin tensed . His lips got tight and his eyes narrowed. The lean he carried most of the time because of his back was gone and Vin's body was straight and hard as a board. "I told you, I didn't come here for that," Vin ground out, between clenched teeth.
"Suck me, Vin, do what you're good at," Chris said. "Get my dick hard, so I can fuck you up the ass, just the way you like it - nice and hard and deep."
"Fuck you, Larabee," Vin snapped, his features hard. "I'll sleep in the barn." He headed for the door, stopping in shock when the empty whiskey bottle shattered against the door, shards scattering around him and nicking little pieces of skin from his hands and face.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" Vin demanded, and whirled around to face Chris.
"You. You're what's the matter with me!" Chris shouted and lurched up off of the bed with his fists cocked.
Vin's expression got harder and colder than Chris had ever seen it. "You raise your hand to me," he said, "and it ain't gonna be over 'til one of us can't raise his arm. When it's over, I'll be dead or I'll be gone."
Chris's face was red and his eyes were blazing, but he uncurled his fists.
"Alright then," Vin said. "Guess you don't need me to watch your back after all. Anybody crazy enough to try anything with you deserves what they get." With that, he stepped carefully over the broken glass and out of the door. Chris heard him ride off a few minutes later.
"Fuck!" Chris swore. The son-of-a-bitch had done it. Vin had left him. Chris knew he hadn't left Vin much of a choice, but he'd be damned if he was going to just let Vin go - even if he'd done everything he could to make him leave. He snatched up his hat and headed to the barn to get his horse, the drunkenness that had been such a relief earlier now gone in the shock of Vin's leaving. He knew he had been pushing, knew he had actually been trying to get to this - but now that he had it, he knew it wasn't really what he wanted.
Chris mounted and started to head toward town before thinking better of it and wheeling the horse off in the opposite direction.7*7*7*7*7*7*7*7
He heard Vin before he saw him; or, rather, he heard Vin's harmonica. He could hear the tuneless notes in the desert air, long before he found Vin in the same place Vin had told him about the bounty. The relief he felt at finding him was slowly replaced with a new dread, though, as he wondered what, exactly, he was going to say to the other man. Vin had every right to be upset.
Chris dismounted and staked his horse near Vin's. It took him less than a minute to climb up to where Vin was sitting, and he used the time to try to find words. The harmonica sounds had stopped, Chris realized, the silence unsettling.
Vin was looking out into the desert when Chris crested the hill. In profile, the fine features were sharp, all lines and angles. Like Vin himself - sharp and defensive, cutting out the world.
"I was hopin' I'd find you here," Chris said finally, when the silence grew painful. "Thought maybe you'd be leavin'," he added softly.
Vin shrugged his shoulders just enough for Chris to see, but he didn't look at Chris. "Thought about it," Vin admitted.
"Glad you didn't," Chris said. That, at least, was true.
"Ain't sure I am," Vin said.
"I'm sorry," Chris said. He took a step closer, feeling foolish for thinking Vin might run - there was nowhere for him to go.
But there were other ways to run as well, Chris knew, and that was the heart of the issue between them.
Vin nodded. "Figured you would be, once you sobered up some. Don't reckon I ever figured you was the kind who was gonna be easy to put up with."
"Can't say anyone ever thought I was easy to put up with," Chris acknowledged. He hesitated, but the words that were on his tongue were out before he could stop them. "Guess you can find out for yourself if you want."
Vin went more still than he'd been and he made a choked little sound and before saying, "I don't want this," in a voice so low, Chris almost missed it.
Chris's eyes narrowed. The anger that had banked on the ride resurged in him - he'd made the best offer he could. What the hell was Vin playing at? "You're not a very good liar," he said coldly. "Nobody who doesn't want it begs for it like you do."
Vin did look at him then, with eyes full of anguish. "Ain't you I don't want. I want you so bad, I can't hardly think of nothin' else sometimes," he said.
Chris felt the anger leeching out of him and he sat down beside Vin on the flat rock that sat just higher than the rest.
"It's the rest of it," Vin said, as if that explained it.
"Rest of what?" Chris asked, unsure of what Vin was thinking, maybe for the first time since they'd met. It was disconcerting - now more than ever he needed to know what Vin was thinking.
"This," Vin said, sweeping his hand between the two of them. "I never wanted this. Never wanted ta need nobody. And, I ain't, not since I was a kid. I made myself a promise, I wasn't never gonna need nobody never again. And, I ain't, not since before I was greener than that kid Buck's been mother-hennin'. But, I need you, sure as I need air to breathe and food to eat."
Vin was scared, Chris realized, and despite himself, he felt relief again. Vin was scared, and from the sound of it, he was more terrified of this thing than Chris was. But they were both frightened, and he found a strange comfort in that. Vin was scared of the new of it, while Chris was scared of losing what he'd already lost once. He wished like hell he had some whiskey.
"That's the hell of it, pard," Chris said, with a bitter laugh. "'Cause I don't want it neither."
Vin's eyes clouded, suddenly more hurt than they'd been and more than he wanted the whiskey, Chris wanted not to see that hurt there. He reached out and cupped Vin's cheek, ignoring the flinch Vin made at the contact. "Ain't you I don't want neither," he said, explaining. "I want you, no doubt about that."
Relief was so strong in Vin's eyes, Chris wondered what he'd thought Chris was going to say. Did Vin think he was going to end what was between them? Chris couldn't help but smile at that. He could no more end this than he could stop the sun from coming up in the morning. Hadn't he tried already and failed? Wasn't that why he was here now?
"Guess what I'm saying is that I know how you feel," he said softly, stroking the sharp angle of Vin's jaw. "Scared."
He wasn't surprised to feel Vin tense under him, his young face frowning with anger. "Ain't scared," he snapped, trying to pull away.
But Chris caught his jaw, holding tight. "I'm scared too, Vin," he said quietly, holding the other's gaze. "I've never been scareder."
He watched the features he'd come to know so well shift from anger to confusion to the soft concern that still caught his breath when it was directed at him. He smiled a little, his thumb rubbing unconsciously along the whiskery skin of Vin's jaw. Vin blinked, but he didn't say anything, for which Chris was glad. It was hard enough to say this without interruption - but, like himself, Vin knew the value of silence.
"About nine years ago, I met Sarah, Sarah Connelly." His breath hitched as it always did when he said her name. "Had never met anyone like her, took my breath away the minute I saw her and did it every day from then on. She wasn't beautiful, not in that way that turns a man's head, but she was God's own gift to me personally. Smart, funny, all curves and softness and all woman - she was everything I could ever have wanted, things I didn't even know existed." He had been watching Vin, but his focus shifted inward as he remembered; her smile, and her laugh, and her eyes.
A slight movement brought him back to find Vin watching him. Vin's eyes were warm, but Chris saw the edge of wariness in the slight crinkle at the corners, the soft downturn of those lips.
He let his hand fall to Vin's shoulder, pulling him a little closer but still meeting his gaze. "I courted her for almost a year. Her father hated me. He ran me off with a shotgun every chance he got - even had me locked up for trespassing a time or two. He didn't come to our wedding," he said flatly. "He was mad as hell, so mad that when Adam, our son was born, he refused to visit. Sarah - she never said anything, but I knew it killed her a little inside."
"Right after Adam turned five, Buck and I took a string of horses to Mexico, to sell. I was gonna use the earnings to buy a couple of stallions - the breeding was beginning to work out for us, our ranch was starting to break even. I left them . . ." Chris swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing in the fading light of the day. Unconsciously, his fingers tightened on Vin's shoulder, but Vin still didn't say anything. "I left them home alone - we weren't that far from Eagle Bend, we'd never had any trouble, didn't have any cause to think that we would. We were only gonna be gone five days, a week at the most. But things went better than we planned and at the end of the week, Buck wanted to stay an extra night, to celebrate. He'd met some cute senorita in Nogales. I wanted to get home, but hell, it was one more night and he'd been such a help that I thought . . .I thought . . ."
He swallowed again, hating that his voice was catching. Somewhere in the telling, he had looked away, his eyes now seeing but not seeing the desert floor below them, colors and sand shifting with the same rhythm as flame.
Vin shifted beside him, and he realized that he was gripping too hard. With effort, he forced his fingers to release and his hand slid away. But Vin caught it and twined their fingers together carefully. He still didn't speak, but Chris understood the message as clearly as if it was written in stone: he didn't have to go on if he didn't want to.
He knew Vin wouldn't think any less of him if he stopped here. But that wasn't fair to Vin, not after the last time they had been here, when Vin had bared his own past to Chris, not after what they had already forged together in the short space of a few days.
"When we got back, the house was burned to the ground. It was still smoking. Buck and I buried . . ." He choked, gasped a hard breath, then forced the words through clenched teeth. "We buried what we could find. That was three years ago."
Vin sat still and silent, leaving only the steady pressure on his hand as Chris fought to keep control.
When Chris was finally breathing evenly, he said, "When I stared into your eyes on that street, I didn't feel what I felt with Sarah. I didn't feel that giddiness, that wildness, that sense of adventure."
He turned then, catching Vin's gaze again. "I felt safe, Vin. I felt like I was home. I don't care for you the same way I did for her and Adam. I ain't never gonna care for anyone like I cared for them again. But I do care for you, Vin. I care for you a lot. And that scares the hell out of me. I don't think I could live through that again - I know I couldn't." He looked down at their joined hands. "It's been a long time since I felt fear at a gun fight - hell, at any fight. But when the Colonel's men were firing on us and you were at my side, I felt it. I felt every bullet that came close to you and every one that came close to me. It was because of this. I was afraid of losing what's between us. Afterwards, I hated myself and I hated you, for making me feel that way. I decided I was gonna have to end it then - I won't be a coward."
He looked back up, holding Vin's fingers tighter. "I'll tell you something about me you might not know yet. I can be a damned selfish bastard sometimes. I knew you cared for me, and it pissed me off. 'Cause I didn't want anyone caring for me ever again. And, I cared for you and that pissed me off more. I figured if I treated you bad enough, made you feel bad enough about caring for me, you'd go without me having to tell you to go - make the decision for me. But, you are one stubborn son of a bitch yourself, Tanner." Chris shook his head ruefully.
Vin gave him that little shrug that could mean anything from, 'you're right,' to 'fuck you,' but he smiled a little, so Chris squeezed his hand and continued. "I couldn't stand the thought of seeing you die, so I was gonna take the easy way out. I was gonna make you want to go. And, when that didn't work, - I was gonna tell you that I couldn't do this. But, then you did go. And, I realized that was the same thing as you dying. It was losing you. And, I can't do that. Like you said, I couldn't give you up no more than I could give up air, or food, or - my own life."
Vin gripped his hand tighter. His eyes were glittering and he had to swallow hard. He looked away from Chris, but Chris could see the color staining his cheeks. "I lost my ma when I was five. Never knew my pa. I didn't have no other kin, so they sent me to a home for orphans. When I was about ten, a farmer come and got me to help out with the chores. He was a hard drinker and he had a harder hand. I lit out o' there a couple years later and I never looked back." He ducked his head. "He wasn't the worst I ever hooked up with." He looked at Chris then and Chris could see the shame in his eyes. "I ain't no innocent kid, Chris. Ain't much I ain't done or had done to me."
Chris pulled him closer, maneuvering his arm around Vin's shoulders without breaking the knot of their fingers. Vin leaned against Chris's shoulder and Chris kissed the top of his head. "Don't want no kid, Vin," he said softly. "It's bad enough I gotta worry about you and you're a man grown. You think I want to worry about some wet behind the ears kid like Buck does?"
"Just don't want no misunderstandin's between us," Vin said.
Chris laughed and pulled him into a hug. "Don't see how you done it, Tanner," he said softly as the other man leaned into his embrace.
"What?" Vin asked, his voice so quiet that he might still be blowing words into the desert.
"Stayed so sweet," he said softly.
"Ain't sweet," Vin said gruffly, his cheeks reddening all over again. He shifted, and reluctantly, their hands parted.
"Oh, you're sweet alright, Tanner. As sweet as summer corn," Chris said and laughed.
Vin rolled his eyes, but he also laughed, a low sound that Chris was quickly coming to love. He hadn't heard it much, only when it was the two of them.
"If it weren't for you, don't think we'd have helped those people," Chris said. He let his fingers drift back to card through the long strands of Vin's hair.
"You'd a done it," Vin said with certainty in his voice, but he leaned a little closer to Chris. "You wouldn't have let nothin' happen to those people."
Chris didn't say anything. He wanted to believe that Vin was right, but since Sarah and Adam had died, he wasn't the man he had once been.
He pulled Vin against him, bending to kiss the use sun-chapped lips he was coming to crave.
Vin didn't resist - he hadn't done that from the start. At first, Chris had liked that just fine - the way the younger man had opened up to him, welcoming. Needing. Now, something in the way Vin responded made him wonder. But, before Chris could pull back, Vin's arms were around his neck, holding him close while his mouth opened to invite Chris in. It was an invitation no sane man would refuse.
He gathered Vin to him, wrapping his arms around the slender body and plundering the hot mouth. He'd known Vin wasn't innocent - the things he could do with this mouth, with his hands, with his ass - yeah, Chris knew whores who didn't have the knowledge that Vin did. On his own since he was a kid, looking the way he did, Vin had paid with his body more than once to survive, Chris was sure of it. Vin wasn't innocent, and Chris hadn't lied. He didn't want someone he had to watch out for every minute. He didn't want some sweet young virgin who he had to coax into every act, every position.
That's what amazed him about Vin. For all his knowledge and experience, Vin really was so open and willing. From time to time, he had found himself wondering if Vin was a little too innocent, or naïve; he had found himself watching the way the Vin interacted with others, looking to see if Vin was putting on some kind of act for him. Chris had seen no sign of it - in fact, he had seen the opposite. Chris, it seemed, was the only person Vin let close and not just in the sexual sense. Vin spent more time away from the village and other humans - even the other five men they were working with - than anyone else.
Only Chris had won his trust, his attention, and his affection; and, with it, his very seductive body.
Now that body was working to get closer; Vin twisted with an agility that was more than just his youth, going to his knees in the rocky soil. He squirmed around so that he was between Chris' legs, pressing his body as hard up against Chris as he could. All the while, his mouth was sucking on Chris' tongue, sensations that made Chris' cock envious.
He moaned against Vin's mouth, his hands rising again to tangle in Vin's hair. He couldn't seem to get far enough into the other man - which led to other ideas.
It took effort to extricate himself - partly because Vin's grip was strong, but also because he kept getting distracted. Vin's hands had worked their way to Chris' shirt and were deftly opening it, trying to get to the skin beneath.
Vin had a touch, Chris thought appreciatively as calloused fingers stroked over his nipples, drawing them to sensitive points. Then his tongue was free, he could breathe - but only for an instant before he choked on a cry as that talented mouth latched onto his chest, suckling at him as if he were the sweetest thing ever.
He growled, felt Vin moan, the vibration cutting through him with the intensity of lightning. He was so hard that it hurt, the rub of the rough denim of his pants grating.
The ground was hard, the dirt biting, but he didn't care -with Vin, he never seemed to care.
"Gotta have ya," he grunted, ignoring the pain as he pulled Vin off of him, "now, gotta have ya now." He pushed Vin away, hard enough to make him sprawl. But before the other man could even gather his surprise, he was kneeling between his spread legs, tearing his pants open.
"Chris, slow down, I ain't going nowhere," Vin's hands grabbed for Chris', but Chris knocked them away.
"You love to play hard to get, dontcha," Chris muttered as he finally pulled the last button open. "I like your old britches better," he continued, pushing the cloth apart, his fingers sliding inside, "easier to get atcha - there we go." The last was a whisper as his fingers closed around Vin's erection.
Any complaint Vin had faded to a gasp as he arched into the touch - as he always did. Chris smiled, stroking the hot flesh he held; Vin was so easy - so willing.
"Chris," he whimpered as Chris tightened his grip, pulling faster. "Gonna - stop, I'm - "
"Shhhh, it's alright," Chris soothed, leaning down so that his tongue could taste Vin's want - just a drip, the thick pearl on the very tip, the essence of Vin's need for him. He let it lay on his tongue, savoring the flavor - bitter, but not too much, salty, rich - with just a hint of . . something .
He caught another drip, aware that Vin was whining now, his hands pulling at Chris' shirt.
There it was, that slight flavor . . . just a hint of sweet, like cinnamon and sugar and pepper all rolled into one . . .
One more taste, he thought; after all, Vin was always tasting him . . .
But as the tip of his tongue neared the pulsing head, Vin moved, thrusting, and Chris jerked away.
He laughed, looking over to find wide eyes staring up at him, desperate. "Like that, Vin?" he asked, letting his fingers slide back down the firm shaft. "Gotta say, ya taste a damned sight better than summer corn."
"You're killing me," Vin groaned, trying to force contact.
Chris shook his head, slowly moving his hand up and down. "But you want it, don't you," he purred. "Want me."
"Yes, hell yes!" Vin arched again, his long body curving up, perfect neck corded with tension.
Chris stared down at him, the tanned skin flush with desire, strong muscles taut with need. He felt a strange instinct, one he didn't quite recognize; without considering it, he leaned over, his teeth grazing down Vin's jaw until he found the spot where the heartbeat was close to the surface, fluttering fast and strong under his lips.
He didn't break the skin - didn't need to bite that hard. But Vin yelped at the contrast in sensation, the pinch that took the edge off his lust.
"What the hell - "
"Mine," Chris blew across the bruising flesh, kissing it again. "You're mine."
"Godddammit," Vin growled, trying to pull clear. "What the hell are you doin'? The world don't need to know - "
"No," Chris agreed, sitting back up. He noted that for all Vin's anger, his cock was still enjoying the attention he was giving it. "The world don't need to know. But I don't want you to forget." He looked at the mark he had just made, purpling prettily on the sleek flesh.
Vin growled again, trying to sit up. "Get offa me," he grabbed at Chris' wrist, trying to break the hold without hurting himself.
"That ain't what you really want," Chris said softly, using his free hand to catch the back of Vin's head. "Ain't what you want at all."
"No it ain't what I want!" Vin declared. "I wannna get fucked, not bit. I ain't a damned piece of meat."
"You're the best kind o' meat," Chris whispered into his ear. "Hot and hard and mine for the tasting." He punctuated his words by licking down the side of Vin's neck.
"Why don't you do some more tastin' and less chewin'," Vin suggested. He pulled Chris up to him and kissed him. "Don't wanna have another fight t'night," he said around a mouthful of Chris's tongue, "but if'n ya bite me again, I guess we will."
Chris pulled back from the kiss and looked at him. Want was plain on Vin's face, but so was determination - the kind of determination that had helped a kid survive on his own in this wild land. "Ain't much good at restrainin' myself," Chris said, "but I'll try."
Vin nodded. "All I can ask. Now how 'bout we get back to that fuckin'?" With that, he elbowed Chris up enough to get at the buttons on Chris's pants. "You ain't the only one wants a taste," he said. He got the last button undone and reached in and drew out Chris's hard cock. "I'm gonna suck you," he whispered into Chris's ear. "I'm gonna lick you up and down, like your dick is a big ol' peppermint stick. I'm gonna get you hot, Larabee, so hot you burn holes in these black pants. I'm gonna suck your balls, run my tongue around 'em, one at a time, heat em' up so you can't think a nothin' but how heavy they are. You like it when I suck your balls, dontcha?" At the same time as he was whispering the things he was going to do to him in Chris's ears, Vin was stroking his cock in a slow steady rhythm.
Chris groaned from the feel of Vin's hand on him, and from the words Vin was whispering for him alone. He loved to hear Vin talk dirty. Vin didn't have much to say most of the time, picking his words carefully and only speaking when he had a point to make. But, in bed, Vin had a lot to say - most of it lurid and filthy and all of it went straight to Chris's groin. His dick throbbed in response to the stimulation and Chris groaned again.
Vin laughed. "You're so fuckin' easy, Chris. All I gotta do is tell you what I'm gonna do and you're harder than a nail."
"Why don't you do some of those things, stead of talkin' me to death," Chris growled.
"'Cause you like to think about what's comin', where you're gonna put it," he purred, his tongue licking along the outer shell of Chris' ear as he talked. "You like to hear me tell you how good you taste, how good and thick and heavy you are in my mouth." His hand pulled harder, but slowed its pace, drawing Chris more deliberately to the edge. "How I can barely take all of ya, how ya choke me and how I have to swallow to get ya all in, how my lips hurt from stretching around ya."
Chris stopped breathing, thinking about what Vin was saying, remembering the way Vin looked when he was sucking him deep, the way his cheeks were drawn in, the skin on his face pulled thin and tight as he opened up to take all of Chris, his throat like a glove along the wide head of Chris' cock . . . .
"But that ain't nothing like the way you feel when ya fuck me," Vin whispered. "You're so big that it always hurts just a little at first, just enough to make me think I'm crazy for wantin' ya - but then you're in and fillin' me up, slow and hot, burnin' me from the inside out, so I can't do nothin' but hold still and wait fer you t' move. No matter how much I wantcha, it always takes a while fer me to take all of ya, ta getcha in me as far as you can go, to where it feels like yer gonna come up my throat or outta my belly."
The thought of it, filling Vin that way, almost made him come. He grabbed Vin's wrist, stopping all movement and willing himself to control. It was close, but he slowly fell back from the edge, drawing breath.
"Wantcha now," he gasped, "or you may not get it at all."
Vin chuckled. "Fuckin' easy," he chuckled and stood up. "Let's get the hell offa this rock and then you can fuck my brains out." Without looking at Chris, he scampered down the side as easily as if it had been broad daylight.
"Fuck!" Chris swore. He stood up and clutched his pants in one hand and made his way more cautiously down the rock. Vin was already untying his bedroll from the back of his horse, when Chris got down.
"I figured you got down off that rock because you wanted to head back to my place," Chris said.
Vin laughed again. "My dick's too hard ta make ridin' comfortable, but that rock's too hard ta make fuckin' comfortable. This here spot'll do just fine," he said and grabbed a tin out of his saddle bags and then spread the bedroll under a tree and dropped the tin on it.
"I guess it will," Chris said, as he came up behind and put his arms around Vin's waist. "Get your clothes off," he ordered and licked Vin's ear.
"Bossy son-of-a-bitch, ain't ya?" Vin murmured. But his head lolled on Chris's shoulder and he quickly undid the buttons of his shirt. He twisted in Chris's arms. "Get your clothes off too," he said. "I wanna suck you 'til you're ready t' bust and then I'm gonna get down on my belly and spread my legs and let you shove that big hard dick in me so -"
"This is gonna be over before it starts, if you don't shut the fuck up," Chris said, while he was squeezing the base of his throbbing cock.
Vin smirked and toed his boots off. He untied his gunbelt and hung it from a low hanging branch before hastily stripping off the rest of his clothes. When he was naked, he turned around and was startled to find Chris still fully dressed. "Whatcha waitin' for, Cowboy?" he asked, a frown furrowing his brow.
"Just enjoyin' the view," Chris said, and eyed him up and down. The predatory look on his face made Vin go still and swallow hard. "Got you the way I want you, Vin," Chris said and advanced on him. "You like to talk, don't you? Well, I'm gonna do some talking of my own. Think I'm gonna start by licking you right there," Chris said and flicked Vin's nipple with his right hand. "Then I'm gonna switch to this one." He used his left hand to twist the other nipple. "You like that?" he asked unnecessarily, as Vin closed his eyes and his breathing hitched and a fine tremor ran through him.
"You like it alright," Chris said. "But that's nothin' compared to how much you like it when I suck 'em. I'm gonna suck both of 'em." He pulled Vin close to him. "Gonna make you feel real good."
"Chris," Vin choked out and wrapped his arms around the older man's neck. "Please, I need ya. Need ya right now. Don't wanna wait anymore. We'll git ta all that other stuff another time. Just wantcha ta fuck me." He pressed his entire body against Chris's as closely as he could get. "Fuck me, Chris," he whispered brokenly in Chris's ear.
"God, Vin," Chris said and kissed his lover. He felt Vin's hands slide down his back and then into his pants and squeeze his ass cheeks. Vin used his hands to force their groins closer and then shoved Chris's pants down around his knees.
"Fuck me now," Vin demanded and dropped to all fours on the bedroll. He spread his knees as wide as he could, so Chris could see the tight hole pulsing with each breath Vin took.
"God, Vin," he repeated and dropped to his knees behind him. Chris fumbled for tin that Vin had dropped on the bedroll. Corn oil, he realized as he twisted off the lid, thick despite the heat. They'd used it before - Vin claimed he could use it for cooking, taking care of his leathers, and so many other things that he kept some with him all the time. He scooped out a generous amount and dropped the tin, not caring that it landed on its side and the remaining contents were oozing out onto the bedroll.
"C'mon," Vin demanded and rocked his ass toward Chris. He used one hand to support himself, while he jerked himself off with the other one.
That was another thing Chris loved about fucking Vin, his wild impatience. A man had no doubt about whether Vin wanted it or not. He reached out and stilled the hand Vin was jacking himself with. "You ain't startin' this party without me," he warned. "Besides, that's mine to play with tonight."
Vin growled, but he put his hand back down on the bedroll. Chris watched fascinated as a fat drop squeeze out of the slit of Vin's cock and dropped to the bedroll. He remembered the taste of it, the feel of it on his tongue and he almost came. It took several deep breaths to get himself back under control, and he knew he wasn't going to have a lot more patience.
He swiped a finger through the mess of goo on his hand and used it to hastily slick up his own cock, holding it tight enough to hurt. Then he smeared the rest of it onto Vin's hole and used a finger to push it in. Vin pushed back impatiently and Chris added another finger, trying to hurry the process of getting the tiny hole open enough, so that he didn't hurt Vin when he fucked him. He remembered the comment about how it always hurt at the start, and while he knew Vin expected it, he wanted to take that away.
The thought was strong enough in his mind that he took the time to add a third finger, slowing his motions so that he could stretch the ring of muscle as far as possible.
Vin moaned at the fullness, then, as Chris pushed deeper, he jerked. "Damnation!" he called out, and Chris realized he was trembling.
"I hurt ya?" He stilled completely, afraid suddenly; the fear took some of his own edge off, leaving him chilled slightly, despite the warmth of the night air.
"No!" Vin called, and he tossed his head, looking over his shoulder. His eyes were wide and blazing, the blue so bright it was like a star in the sky. "You hit - you hit that place - God, Chris, do it again!"
Chris grinned. 'That place'. They didn't know exactly what it was, all they knew was that when Chris stroked over it, with his fingers, with his cock, Vin lost control. That sight alone, wild eyes, rolling head, hair streaming in the aftermath of the unbridled sensations, was enough to make Chris seek out the tiny nub hidden in the slender passage.
The fact that it almost always brought Vin to screaming orgasm just added to his desire to find it.
He stroked again, reaching as far in as he could, his knuckles flush against the slick flesh. He felt the drip of his own erection, thick moisture sliding sensually down overheated skin, and he stifled a moan.
Vin shook under him, and he knew he had brushed the place. The long back curved down as Vin thrust back against him, and Chris was barely able to pull his hand back before Vin hurt himself.
"Now, please, now," Vin begged, his whole body shuddering with need. "God, Chris, now!"
Chris had never known anyone, female or even the spare few males he had been with before, who wanted to be taken as much as Vin did. When he thought about it - which was more and more as of late - he wondered if he should be worried about it; women were made for such, of course, and he had known a few who could never seem to get enough themselves. At times, it had made him feel downright inadequate to have a woman clawing at his backside, trying to get more of him than there was.
But he'd never had anyone beg him to be taken this way like Vin did, nor had anyone ever wanted more or faster or harder - not in the ass.
Seemed like it would hurt - hell, he knew it hurt; even the women who'd wanted it this way, when they had been in that time of the month, or been worried about being pregnant, had been real careful and wanted him to be careful, telling him that it was tender and easy to tear.
Vin had said so, too, just a few minutes ago. There was something there, Chris was trying to wrap his thoughts around. But the throbbing of his dick and Vin - God, Vin was begging so hard he was almost crying, folding himself down onto his arms and lifting that perfect ass right up; it was impossible for Chris to argue, to even think. 'I'll figure it out,' he promised himself; later on, when his dick wasn't doing his thinking.
He drew his hand back, taking hold of Vin's hips as he edged forward enough to rub his erection along the firm muscles of Vin's ass. Vin gasped at the contact, canting further back and spreading his thighs even more.
"Worse than a she-cat in heat," Chris rasped. "Act like you ain't been laid in a decade."
"Need you so bad it hurts," Vin moaned. "If you don't come on . . ." His hand was slipping along the bedroll, moving toward his hips.
Chris caught the wandering wrist with one hand, while using the other to position himself. Beneath him, Vin moaned again, partly in frustration, but then the sound shifted, the tone rising in pitch as it changed to anticipation.
Chris waited, the flared head thrumming with its own need as it nestled in the small opening. He wanted to apply pressure - hell, just shifting his weight a little would lever him forward, force entry. But the memory of Vin's words, the thought of hurting him -
"That pain ain't as bad as this one," Vin barked, as if he had read Chris's mind. "I'm sorry I said anything - Chris, please, this is killing me." He tried to move himself, to force the contact, but Chris' grip held fast.
"You always like this?" Chris asked. He'd meant the words to be teasing, but as they left his mouth, he had a mental image of Vin on his knees like this for someone else, begging for someone else.
Bile rose in his throat as the jealousy pushed aside all else.
"Hell, no," Vin snapped. "Weren't you listening earlier? You, Chris, you're the only one I ever felt this way for - you think I begged someone else? You really think that?" His body tensed under Chris, but it was in anger now, anger and hurt. He pushed up onto his arms, twisting to glare at Chris over one shoulder. "I ain't no whore, damn sure ain't no slut. I ain't innocent, but I don't spread my legs at the drop of a feather, either."
He was trying to pull away, but Chris, reassured and soothed past his anger, pressed forward. "Good," he said huskily as Vin's body opened for him. "You're mine, Vin Tanner - nobody else touches you 'less I want 'em, too."
Vin's head came up at his words, but whatever he might have said in the way of argument passed on as his body had its own ideas.
He cried out as Chris pushed decidedly and steadily, claiming him. While it might have started with hurt, as the widest part passed the seal, now Vin extended as far as he could, his back long, his throat curving up as his head rolled on his shoulders, his hair dragging against his sweaty skin.
He was barely in when Vin's body closed to him, stopping his drive. He could have continued, forcing, but he knew that that hurt would be far worse than the one he had already inflicted. So he waited, giving Vin the time his body needed to adjust, to relax. Vin would move when he was ready.
He did. The long back flexed, curving slightly which was the only warning Chris had before Vin slid back, taking more of him.
The surprise of it made Chris gasp and cringe, his body almost overwhelmed with a mixture of shocking pleasure and almost violent sensitivity. Vin's body held him in a vise that was both wonderful and too stimulating; any more contact and he would have exploded - but it would not have felt the way he wanted it to.
"Fuck all," he swore, letting his hands return to Vin's hip and gripping so hard that he knew he would leave bruises. "How do you come back tight as a virgin every time?"
Vin laughed - or he thought he did; it came out sounding like hard pants for air. "Ain't no virgin," Vin wheezed. "You're just bigger'n ya think."
It was a tease, but it was a good one. Chris had an ego, and he knew he did - it went with the temper and the gunslinging and the general sense of who and what he was. He knew Vin was playing him, but - it was Vin. Anyone else he would have shot.
Vin - Vin he just wanted to fuck
With a deep chuckle, he pulled back a little, the motion relieving a little of the pressure but also dragging along that sweet spot that made Vin crazy.
Vin bucked, his hips lifting then pushing back, and Chris felt himself giving ground as Vin's body once more reached its limit of acceptance, but his momentum hadn't stopped.
Chris countered, locking his arms and forcing Vin down, trapping him to stillness. "Feels so good it's bad," he breathed, watching little goosebumps rise along Vin's spine in the wake of the words. "Ain't never been with no one like you, Tanner, that's for damned sure."
"You gonna fuck me or talk me ta death?" came the breathless response, a barb from earlier.
Chris laughed, but it was cut off as, despite his hold, Vin moved against him, sliding slow and easy until he was resting sweaty and shaky against Chris' hipbones.
They stayed like that, so much a part of each other that when the instinct came, it came to them both simultaneously.
Chris' hands coasted up Vin's body, catching him under the arms as he pushed up, arching backwards and rising to his knees. Chris caught him, guiding him back as he held him up; the position changed the center of gravity, bringing Vin down as far as he could go, allowing him to take all Chris had to offer.
Vin moaned, but this time, it was a low rumble that vibrated through them both, stirring the primal impulse. Vin's arms caught behind Chris' neck, allowing Chris complete access to his body as he tightened his muscles and rose as far as he could off of his impalement. It wasn't far - Chris was only slightly taller than he was, but it was enough to start the friction that would drive them both to completion.
Chris let his hands caress along the smooth chest and strong planes of his lover's torso. He had never expected to find such satisfaction in the body of another male - not just sexually, but in the simple appreciation of touching a body so different from what he thought he wanted. There was no spare flesh here, not on Vin - he could discern every rib, every knob, every bone. But a layer of muscle lay between the bones and the flesh, so that while Vin wasn't soft as Sarah had been, he was well-formed and pliant; Chris thoroughly enjoyed running his hands over the contours and planes, knowing from his own body what felt good and what didn't.
And knowing from the way Vin responded to him. They hadn't talked a lot about Vin's past - there hadn't been a lot of time, and what there had been they had used for other things. But he was coming to understand that while Vin wasn't innocent, there were many things he didn't know. He knew how to suck and fuck and talk, no question about that, but he didn't seem to know the simpler pleasures of a gentle touch or a soft hand. He didn't know the sweetness of laying together after, bodies twined in lethargy and warmth. He didn't know the contentedness of waking to another's body pressed close and snug.
Chris wanted to show him those things, teach him that peace, and it was the realization of that want that had driven him to push Vin away - and then to come after him tonight.
"So good," Vin moaned as he let himself glide back down. Chris didn't know what he referred to - Chris' hands on him, or the cock reaching deep into his body - or both. He didn't care, either, because he was feeling damn good and it was distracting him completely. One arm caught at Vin's waist, holding him tight, while the other slipped down to the junction of Vin's legs, pulling at one thigh to spread them wider.
Vin wrapped around him, limber, and Chris grunted with the strain of holding them both - but he didn't care. He was buried farther inside than he ever had been before, not just with Vin, but with anyone. It was as if he had found his perfect center, the part of him most perceptive now immersed and protected within a sheath created especially for it. A sheath that completed him as perfectly as Vin himself completed Chris.
"Move," Vin breathed, "please, Chris, move."
One of Vin's hands slipped away from Chris, reaching, and Chris swatted at it. "Not yet," he repeated, letting his hand fall back to Vin's hip. "Told ya, it's mine. I'll make it good for ya, I swear."
"Then ya better do something with it soon," Vin growled, or tried to - it came out more like a sob, his body trembling again with need.
Chris rubbed gently up over Vin's thigh and hip, then let his fingers drift slowly into the curls over the swollen balls. Vin tensed even more at the touch, and Chris stopped breathing, trying to control the instinct to thrust.
He didn't make it; he was too close and he knew it, and he be damned if he'd waste what little time he had fighting it. Instead, with a cry that made his throat sore, he wrapped his fingers around Vin's cock, pulling on it as he drew himself back. He thrust hard and deep, lifting Vin off the bedroll, then withdrew again before driving forward. His hand matched the pace of his body, and as Vin's knees again left the ground, he cried out and came, a fine arc of white spurting into the desert night.
Chris barely had time to appreciate the beauty of it before the contractions that caused it played along his own erection in a barrage of sensation that drew him into release. He lost himself in Vin, in the completion of his body and his psyche.
He could have drifted that way for ever - certainly for a while longer, but his thighs finally cramped and his body protested carrying the weight of them both. Vin was dead weight against him, his breathing slowing, the coolness of the night air raising chills on his overheated flesh.
Chris levered them down, sprawling despite his best efforts, but Vin, unused to any kind of intimacy or caring after sex, merely huffed on impact and rolled onto his stomach. Doing so pulled Chris's diminishing cock from his body and Chris winced at the separation; there was a certain loneliness he felt, one that made him miss Vin even though the other man was beside him.
But not close enough. This was the part Vin didn't know, the difference between fucking and lovemaking. The part Chris had cherished with Sarah. The part he hadn't had in three years. The part he'd missed more than the act.
Chris forced himself to awareness, as much as his body resented it. Hopefully, Vin would learn this as quickly as he seemed to learn everything else, but this was new to him, Chris was sure of it. Chris would have to teach him this - and he'd have to do it quickly, right now, before Vin's wariness had time to return.
He rolled onto his side and let his arm fall around Vin's back, scooping around him and pulling him tight. Positioning was difficult, especially as Vin was still completely lax. It took him several attempts to roll Vin enough to put the drowsing head onto his own shoulder, to bend Vin's long body enough to fit against his own.
He managed to keep himself aware enough to wait until Vin was moving slightly, his eyelids heavy with lassitude, to kiss the soft mouth fully but gently - with affection, not lust. Chris knew the second Vin was himself enough to recognize what Chris was doing. Recognize wasn't the right word, Chris realized. Vin didn't recognize anything about this. That's what had him tensing up and his hands moving to push against Chris's chest.
Chris held firm, not letting him push away. Vin's body was stiff as a board and Chris could feel a fine tremor run through him. "Easy," he soothed. "Trust me," he whispered and eased his hold. Vin's body didn't ease its tension, but he didn't push himself away either. "Let me show you," Chris said softly.
Vin's eyes were wide as saucers when they met his and Chris could see the fear he was trying to hide. Maybe he'd been wrong, Chris realized. Vin did recognize this. And, it scared the hell out of him. Chris was pretty sure that he didn't want to know what had happened to Vin, that a little bit of gentleness had him spooked so bad; but he was going to do his damnedest to ease it. He stroked through Vin's hair and slid his hand around the back of Vin's neck.
"Whatever you're remembering," he said softly, "this isn't it."
Vin blinked and as the tension ebbed out of his body, he seemed to melt against Chris. But, Chris could feel him trembling. He massaged the back of Vin's neck with one hand and splayed his other hand on Vin's back, stroking in a lazy rhythm. "Just relax," Chris said. "Rest. Know I'm watching your back. Ain't nothing bad gonna happen."
Vin's trembling eased and he moved a hand up slowly to stroke Chris's face. He pressed a kiss to Chris's skin, just above his heart. "I don't want this," he said forlornly. "Don't know how t' do it."
"I know," Chris said and kept stroking his back, but he stopped massaging Vin's neck and used that hand to push Vin's hair away from his face, so he could see Vin's eyes just by lifting his head. "I know," he repeated. "I'll show you."