Through Sunshine and Shadow by Debra Hicks

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Ezra woke feeling--he wasn't sure what. A strange restlessness was lighting his nerves. It was the same sort of feeling as when he was touching Vin. A slight grin covered his face as he let his hand drift to his groin. A full cock rested under his questing hand.

Rolling over, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the near darkness; the fire having died to embers. Vin was barely visible in the sparse light. Ezra watched him, the gentle sound of Vin's breathing doing interesting things to his heart. While recounting the story, Vin had been as steady as Ezra had known he would be; knowing when to touch and when to back away, when to speak and when to let silence be the best answer. Ezra had known since that night at Vin's wagon that he loved the man. Yet, the demons had followed him, teased him, invaded his dreams to tell him it wouldn't last, that someone would find out, that something would happen to Vin. The demons were still there, lurking in the shadows, but the love now held the biggest piece of his heart, letting him consider something besides the way it might end.

Smiling, he leaned over and kissed Vin's bare shoulder. Vin sighed in sleepy pleasure, the sound going straight to Ezra's nerves, urging him on. Gently brushing the long hair off Vin's neck, he started kissing down the tanned throat. His lover's eyes stayed closed but Ezra detected the slightest hint of a smile curling Vin's mouth. It was more than he could resist; he leaned over and kissed him lightly.

Soft pressure assured him that Vin was awake. Vin rolled over, hip brushing Ezra's cock, making him gasp just a little. That brought Vin completely awake. Before he could say anything, Ezra's hot mouth moved down his chest, tongue flickering over a taut nipple. Vin sighed, arching back.

"It's the middle of the night, Ezra," he observed.

Ezra looked up at him, barely visible in the dark camp. "Yes, and some of us have been having rather interesting dreams during this hour."

When Vin raised his hand and rubbed at his eyes, Ezra's heart melted. "And that woke you up?"

"The result of said dream was--that I want you."

The determination and sheer lust in his voice cleared the last of Vin's sleepy haze. The night-dark eyes met Ezra's, and the glitter in them was enough to fan the fire raging through him. Ezra noted the look of relief, pride and excitement on his lover's handsome face. It was the first time that Ezra had come to him, had incited the act. A hundred things ran through Ezra's mind to say to Vin. But for the first time in his life, the burning in his veins left him speechless. With an almost inarticulate groan, he slid on top of the slender tracker, pinning him firmly to the ground and kissing him with an almost savage intensity.

The answer was a hard moan and a thrust up that almost threw Ezra off. He broke the kiss with a chuckle. "If this is wrong then I will pay later, will protect you at any cost, but for now, I refuse to let it go."

"Ain't wrong," Vin insisted, "just different."

Ezra leaned down and took Vin's mouth, tongue driving in to duel with the tracker's. Two moans now filled the night. Vin's hand shoved between them, trying to reach Ezra's pants. Ezra knocked his hand away and began to unbutton Vin's pants with his right hand while the left carded through the long, brown hair. They broke apart with gasps of need. Sitting up a bit, Ezra finished unbuttoning Vin's rough woven pants. He flicked one finger over Vin's nipple, watched in fascination as it tightened further under his touch.

"Being ambidextrous has its advantages," Ezra said with a smile.

"Is that anything like being horny?" Vin asked innocently.

Ezra laughed, kissing him across the cheeks and chin. "It means, my love, that I can gain equal enjoyment with either hand."

Joining in the laughter, Vin said, "And here I thought that was just for shooting. Didn't know you could get me to shoot that way too."

"You are incorrigible," Ezra told him, slipping his hand into the open fly of Vin's pants.

Vin gasped as the cool night air hit his swollen shaft. "Damn, and I thought I was just handsome."

"Stand up," Ezra ordered sharply. His lust multiplied at the sight of Vin's eager cock.

The eagerness with which Vin gained his feet was enough to assure Ezra that Vin had not been put off by his aggression. If anything, Vin's enthusiasm was more noticeable than before. Vin had dropped his pants before Ezra could gain his feet. Ezra scrabbled up, wrapping himself around Vin and taking his mouth once more. He twined his tongue around Vin's, moaning slightly at the slick feel. He fumbled open the buttons to his own pants, then skimmed his hand over Vin's stomach to brush lightly over his cock. Vin's hips jerked toward him, as a moan filled his throat. Moving back, Ezra smiled at Vin, taking a couple deep breaths to still his raging nerves as he dropped his shirt with uncharacteristic abandon. It would need washing anyway. Before he could move, Vin grabbed his pants and yanked them down.

"You have been restraining yourself with me, haven't you?" Ezra asked gently.

Vin only nodded, lowering his head to suck along Ezra's collarbone. "A mite. Didn't want to scare you."

Vin looked puzzled as Ezra turned around far enough to throw a couple of small sticks into the hot coals.

"I want to see you," he explained.

As the twigs caught and flared, Ezra knelt in front of Vin, eager mouth kissing and licking along each hip. Once more Vin groaned and his hands tangled in Ezra's hair. The light grew enough for Ezra to look up the long lean body, admiring the tight muscles and pale skin. There were a few scars, some made by a sharp knife in orderly rows along one arm. Ezra had noted them before, suspecting they had something to do with Vin's time with the Comanches. Others were jagged, knives and at least one bullet wound, all ominous. Ezra ignored the worry the sight caused him, concentrating on the aesthetics, on the contrast between the smooth skin and raised scars, between the pale gold and stark white.

He thought of going slow, of taking Vin gently up as the tracker had taught him, but the newfound lust would not allow for patience this time. He wrapped his arms around Vin, kneaded the hard- muscled ass, jerked the strong body toward him and swallowed Vin's cock in one long move. Vin cried out sharply, startled by the move.

"Damn, Ezra, I ain't the only one been holding out," Vin muttered.

The first time, Ezra had only been concerned with Vin's injuries and pleasure--and getting it over with for himself. Now, he savored the weight of the hard cock as it filled his mouth, relished the feel as he twisted his tongue around the solid flesh. His hands carded through the tight curls around the shaft, sighing in pleasure at the way it gripped his fingers. The strong smell of flesh hit him and he sucked harder.

All his life Ezra had imagined what this would be like, yet even in the cave, he had acted without letting himself completely enjoy each sensation, each subtle play of flesh and breath. Now he wanted this, wanted to taste the warm fluid as it filled his mouth, wanted to feel the power and surrender as Vin came. Sucking gently, he let his fingers play with Vin's balls, ease back to touch the tight entrance to the incredible body. New, hotter images fired him and he began to suck harder.

Strong hands pulled him away. He looked up at Vin, trying to see what the too-blue eyes were telling him. When Vin smiled it crinkled his eyes, sending new excitement into Ezra's nerves.

"Gonna come real soon you keep that up," Vin warned a little breathlessly.

"Good," Ezra said, returning to his task with a new singlemindedness.

Vin chuckled, his hips matching Ezra's moves up and down his cock. Ezra sighed around the hard shaft, slowing down just a bit, letting Vin catch his breath. His hand returned to the intriguing feel of Vin's swollen sacs, the tight strip of skin just before the puckered muscle. He brushed light touches over the ridged entrance.

With a groan Vin started thrusting harder, staggering a little as he widened his stance, his legs coming open, inviting Ezra's touch. With a sigh Ezra wondered if Vin were going to offer advice, but the man remained silent, letting Ezra's desire be its own teacher. Ignoring the desperate need to fist his own cock, Ezra brought his finger up, slipping it in into his mouth as he let saliva trail down Vin's shaft. Vin's hands stroked over his cheeks, touched lightly to his lips.

"Yeah...; Vin breathed.

Ezra smiled, feeling the heat that took Vin's body couple with the sparks in his own, the tracker's need becoming an extension of his own. Even as he started sucking, he let his hand drift down to his own cock, stroking it slowly as the internal heat drove sweat down his face and back. Vin whispered his name again, begging. He swallowed around the hard shaft, felt Vin's shudder of pleasure. Easing back until just the flared head was in his mouth, he looked up at his lover. The sight nearly took his breath. Vin was beautiful in his passion, head down, hair moving in sensual waves, eyes squeezed shut, mouth slightly open as he panted.

Ezra released Vin's cock, watched the night-dark eyes meet his. "Tell me what you like," he demanded.

He was answered by Vin's wonderful smile. "Everything you're doing."

Ezra's hand tightened on Vin's narrow ass, kneading the hard muscle. "Well, if you are willing to trust an amateur, I believe I can rise to the occasion."

Licking at the jutting cock, Ezra played with it, letting the cool night breeze follow his wet touches. Vin was moaning almost continually now.

"Ezra... please...."

Steadying himself with one hand on Vin's hip, Ezra took the heavy cock deep again, nearly coming with the feel of it filling his mouth, the taste of the dribble of fluid from the head. He wet his finger again, teasing the tight skin behind the full balls. Vin began to thrust, hands holding Ezra still as instinct took over. Ezra moaned at the unbridled lust in his lover's moves. Flashes of lightning, brighter than fire, skittered along his nerves as Vin fucked his mouth. He wrapped his tongue around the shaft, sucked and licked. Vin's breathing became a little heavier, his strokes uneven, erratic. When Ezra heard the first slight hitch in Vin's moans, he shoved his finger into Vin's lean body.

"Ezra!" Vin screamed.

The hot liquid flooded his mouth. Ezra swallowed, though a little still dribbled from his lips as Vin's offering overwhelmed him. He twisted his finger in the tight muscle, leaned forward until his face was pressed hard against the tight curls. With Vin's cock still hard in his mouth, he picked up the strokes on his own shaft, hand leaving Vin's body as he fought to reach his orgasm. He moaned, feeling the gathering heat, his hand moving faster. Vin's cock grew a little softer and almost from far away, he heard a sound of protest.

Before he had time to object, Ezra found himself on his back, Vin's mouth covering his cock. Now Ezra's cries filled the night. Vin increased the suction, knowing how close Ezra was. Ezra's hips rose faster as the energy swept down, centered in his cock. With a whimper of Vin's name, he gave into the need. He thrust up, reaching for the fire, embracing it, letting it burn away the memories, lighting the darkness in which the demons hid. For a minute there was heat so strong he couldn't breathe, light so bright that it blinded him.

When next he was aware of anything, Vin was embracing him, the rough voice speaking words of love but holding a note of fear and relief. Ezra wasn't sure what had caused his friend to sound so sad.

Then he heard the soft sob rising out of his own chest. Ezra reached up, found tears on his cheeks. He was crying? Fighting Vin's hold, he tried to move away, tried to figure out what was causing it. Vin only held tighter, and his answer was to cry harder. He knew he should have been horrified at the outburst, knew that somehow Vin's gentle embrace was only worsening it, but he could feel the light still filling his chest, knew the demons were mere shadows now.

It was only a few minutes but to Ezra it seemed like forever until he regained his control. Vin's mutterings now became words, took on meaning.

"Let it go," he pleaded softly. "I'm here."

Taking several deep breaths, Ezra shifted, sliding away far enough to see Vin's face. "What just happened here?"

That gained him a sad smile. Vin released him with a chaste kiss to one cheek. Sitting up, he said, "I reckon confession takes a little to really hit ya," he surmised.

Scrubbing at his eyes, Ezra shoved up into a sitting position. "My apolog--"

Vin cut him off with a kiss. "Don't you be apologizing to me for nothing, Ezra. Weren't nothing to be ashamed of, was something you needed."

Accepting the words, Ezra leaned back into Vin's arms, resting his head against the tracker's chest. They sat that way for a while, Vin stroking his hair in silence, Ezra taking comfort from the touch. The last of the twigs gave up their light, casting the camp into dark once more. With a sigh, Ezra sat up, reaching for his canteen to clean up a little. Vin did the same, respecting Ezra's unusual silence. When Ezra was done, Vin lay down and held his arms out to him. Ezra smiled as he slipped into the hold. He was still a little mortified at his tears but it faded quickly in the warmth and protection from Vin's arms.

The younger man kissed him, letting Ezra taste himself on Vin's lips and tongue. He smiled, liking the addition to the lingering hint of Vin's seed in his mouth. It distracted him from the embarrassment of his delayed response to the emotional telling of the story. With a sigh he accepted what Vin had said, especially since the light still held the shadows at bay.

"Sleepy yet?" Vin asked again, yawning.

"No." Letting his hand trail down Vin's stomach, he said, "We could find something better to do than sleep."

He didn't quite catch what Vin mumbled but knew it wasn't a compliment on his timing. With a sigh, he relented. "Perhaps if I were to read it would put us both to sleep."

"Sounds good," Vin agreed, shifting a little further into the blankets. "Use the lantern, easy to keep good light."

Digging out the lantern and book, Ezra took another swallow of water and cleared his throat. He lay back with his head on Vin's shoulder, leaning so that he could kiss along the square jaw, flinching a little at the scratchy whiskers.

"As I lay with my head in your lap camerado,
The confession I made I resume, what I said to you and the open air I resume,
I know I am restless and make others so,
I know my words are weapons full of danger, full of death,
For I confront peace, security, and all the settled laws, to unsettle them,
I am more resolute because all have denied me than I could ever have been had all accepted me,
I heed not and have never heeded either experience, cautions, majorities, nor ridicule,
And the threat of what is call'd hell is little or nothing to me,
And the lure of what is call'd heaven is little or nothing to me;
Dear camerado! I confess I have urged you onward with me, and still urge you, without the least idea of what is our destination,
Or whether we shall be victorious, or utterly quell'd and defeated."

Ezra stopped. He had not picked Whitman's poem on purpose, yet it fit his feelings and life so perfectly. It also carried a warning of what they might face. It must have had some effect as Vin took a deep breath. For a minute Ezra wondered if Vin was going to try to talk him out of being so pessimistic.

"Ezra, don't you know any cheerful poems?" Vin demanded.

Pushing up one elbow, Ezra stared down at him in surprise. Vin's wicked grin answered him. It also answered the question of whether Vin understood that it was not the same dark pessimism that made him recite this time, but the acceptance that, whatever the future held, it held it for both of them.

"Cheerful?' ; Ezra repeated.

"Yeah," Vin continued. "Something--"

"There was a young monk from Siberia
Whose morals were very inferior.
He did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done,
And now she's a Mother Superior," Ezra blurted. Vin's mouth dropped open and he let out a giggle, much to Ezra's delight. Ezra continued.

"A notorious whore named Miss Hearst
In the weakness of men is well-versed.
Reads a sign o'er the head
Of her well- rumpled bed:
The customer always comes first."

Vin laughed hard, holding his sides and Ezra knew it wasn't so much from the silly poem as from his being the one to recite it. The next one gained him a groan instead of a laugh, which only inspired Ezra to greater heights. Three poems later Vin was holding up his hands.

"Stop! Damn, Ezra, how many of those things do you know?"

Ezra smiled, letting exactly what he was thinking show in his expression. "Shall we find out?" He trailed his hand down Vin's chest. "I am willing to wager that I can keep reciting until you can think of something more engaging for my mouth to do."

Vin's eyes widened. "It's still the middle of the night, Ezra."

Waving it off, Ezra said, "We will have plenty of time to sleep upon reaching home. Now...

There was a young rector of Kings
Whose mind was on heavenly things,
But his heart was on fire
For a boy in the choir
Whose ass was like jelly on springs."

"Ezra..." Vin pleaded.

"There once was a floozie named Annie
Whose prices were cozy--but canny:
A buck for a fuck,
Fifty cents for a suck,
And a dime for a feel of her fanny."

Thirty seven and a half poems later, Vin found something for him to do.

Seven

Giving one backward glance toward the house shining with warm, friendly light, Vin growled, "Damn you, Larabee."

Vin had been both relieved and upset when they returned to Four Corners three days earlier. Relieved that Buck had been able to retrieve Chris by using Ella Gaines' plea for help as bait, and upset that Chris seemed to have forgotten about both his growing commitment to Mary Travis and to the six of them. The fight against Smiling Jack had taken most of Vin's attention since their arrival, to the point where he had ignored the warning that kept snaking along his nerves. The warning had returned full cry with Chris' announcement of his intention to stay with Ella. It was too much to ignore and Vin had gone to Red Rock to investigate. The ride had also distracted him for the shock of Chris' announcement. At the time, Vin had thought it an act of desperation, a losing wish to find something lost. Now, as his anger swelled, he considered it a selfish act of betrayal.

With a heavy sigh, Vin sat down. Fighting the anger away, he admitted that Chris was not the first man to be taken in by a woman. He remembered all too well what had happened with Charlotte when the Seven were protecting the wagon train of settlers. She had wanted a way out of the drudgery of frontier life; he'd wanted a distraction from Ezra. Even while he had been romancing her, Vin had known it wouldn't work. He suspected she had too. It had been Chris' reaction, his expression of distrust that had hurt, had made Vin look at what he was doing and why.

The important difference was that Vin had never put anyone else in danger because of Charlotte. By denying that they had been pulled here under fake pretenses, Chris was endangering everyone of them. Vin looked back at his roll, then to his horse. He knew he wouldn't leave, couldn't leave, not with the others in danger, not with Ezra still down there.

Another wave of anger hit him at Ezra's being completely consumed by the poker game. He hadn't paid the slightest attention to the fact that Vin had come back and then left. Vin stood and walked to his saddlebags, pulling out a pack of jerky and some hardtack. Their first day at the ranch, part of him had hoped that Ezra would follow him into the dark when he had announced his intention to sleep under the stars. Realistically, he had known that wouldn't happen. It would have been out of character for Ezra to sleep in the open, and might have started someone thinking on it. Still, Vin wished he had the other man to talk to, to vent his anger over Chris' stupidity.

That thought lead to a few more disturbing thoughts. Why trick them here? Why the shooting? Why not just come to town and make a play for Chris? Was the ranch as much a temptation as much as Ella?

"Vin?"

Vin spun around, hand going for his gun. Josiah stepped out of the dark trees, smiled at him. "Nice evening for a walk," he commented quietly.

The ex- preacher's statement didn't fool Vin. They both knew he was there because he had seen Vin's abrupt departure from Ella's party. While he was relieved that someone had noticed something was wrong, he wasn't sure he knew what to tell Josiah, or if he even had the right.

The bigger man stepped closer, holding out something. "I noticed you left without eating, thought maybe you'd like some supper."

"Thanks," Vin said as he took the plate.

Sitting down on the blanket he had rolled out, Vin started eating. The food was piled high and delicious. Vin sighed; there was no denying that Ella had been doing very well here. Given that thought, the condition of the bunkhouse made no sense. If the ranch was successful, where were the hands? More questions.

"Josiah," Vin started carefully, "why do you suppose those folks are here?"

"The ones inside?" Josiah asked. With a shrug, he answered, "Guess they're friends of Ella's."

"Seems strange, don't it, that she let 'em stay on with all the shooting and stuff going on?" Vin ventured.

"Vin," Josiah said patiently, "why don't you just say what's bothering you?"

He took a deep breath, his anger at Chris flaring again. "Ella owns Culpepper Mining."

Silence filled the small clearing. "Damn," Josiah said.

Vin looked at him over the tin plate. "You believe me?"

"'Course I believe you," Josiah said firmly. Looking at Vin, he added, "Chris didn't."

Flinching away from the honesty in that revelation, Vin said, "Told me it was none of my damn business. It's my business if someone gets killed 'cause of it!"

"What do you want to do?" Josiah asked.

"I told him I was riding out come morning," Vin confessed. Before Josiah could ask what that meant exactly, he added, "Reckon I better stick around, though and guard y'all's backs."

Josiah sat down, leaning against an oak tree. "Chris is lost in yesterday. He thinks this is the way to happiness."

Vin stared down at his plate. "Aw, hell, Josiah, you know I want Chris to be happy, but this ain't the way."

"I agree," Josiah said with a sad smile. He stood up and took the empty plate away from Vin. "I think what we need to do is try to get some sleep tonight and confront him in the morning."

"Yeah," Vin agreed with a frown, not knowing what else to do.

Josiah's large hand rested on his shoulder for a minute. "It's hard watching someone you care about do something stupid."

Looking at the ground, Vin admitted, "Hurts that he didn't think--"

"Vin," Josiah interrupted. "It's a long time till morning. More than enough time for a man to think. I saw Chris after you left. I knew by the look on his face something had happened. He's already thinking on it." As the man moved away, he said off-handedly, "Reckon Ezra's happy at least, seems he won big at the game tonight."

Vin was glad the preacher couldn't see his frown. He wished Ezra would at least come talk to him, acknowledge that despite Larabee's departure, they would be going back to Four Corners together. Kicking at a piece of branch, Vin told himself to stop being stupid. He knew very well Ezra wouldn't leave him.

He took his hat off and stretched out on the blanket. The feeling of danger and dread that had been with him since arriving at Ella's was now overwhelming. Sleep would not be possible tonight; he was too worried over what tomorrow would bring.

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Ezra flipped the locket open, snapped it closed. Buck paced back and forth in front of the stairs. JD sat at the bottom of the stairs, a puzzled, thoughtful expression marring his young face. Upstairs, Nathan was tending their wounded leader. Somewhere outside, Vin and Josiah, along with the fake doctor and two of the surviving hired guns, were digging graves. He could barely comprehend the change from a wonderful, winning night of poker to the dawn that had brought shooting and blood, and Chris lying wounded in Vin's arms. The locket, Sarah Larabee's locket, clicked closed in his fingers again. Most of it was explained by the room of horrors upstairs: the trophy room, filled with mementos of Gaines' kills. Frowning, Ezra wondered what had transpired between Chris and Vin last night. Something was definitely wrong. He smiled ruefully, amazed at his own understatement.

"She done all of it, didn't she? Chris' family, Garner's son," JD ventured, looking back and forth between Ezra and Buck. "Why? How could she do that if she loved him?"

Buck came over and sat down next to the sheriff. "JD, there are some people who don't really understand love. They only know they want something they cain't have and it makes them a little crazy."

"A little!" JD came to his feet. "Look at this, Buck," he nearly yelled as he gestured toward the items on the table in front of Ezra. "She had his family killed...."

"It would appear, from the grisly trophies upstairs, that she is also responsible for the demise of her last two husbands, including the younger Mister Garner, from whom she inherited the Culpepper Mine."

"Had to be her behind that night at the dance too," Buck reminded them.

"I don't understand though," JD continued. "Fowler told Chris that killing his family was an accident. And he was going to kill Chris there in that saloon."

"I believe Fowler may have been acting beyond orders," Ezra ventured. "If he had been employed by Gaines long enough to have eliminated her first husband, he might have understood that it was getting far too dangerous to let Mister Larabee live. Lying to him, then killing him, may have been what he considered to be the better solution to the problem."

JD shook his head, still confused. "JD, Josiah and Vin could use some help is my guess," Buck encouraged. "We'll come get you soon's we know something."

Knowing he was only worrying the other two, JD nodded and left, closing the door quietly behind him.

Buck stood leaning tiredly against the stair rail. The sparkle that was always in Buck's deep blue eyes was gone. Only once before, when JD had been shot, could Ezra recall its absence. He frowned. So, Buck had truly held some feelings for the lost Hilda. He studied the man in front of him. There was more to it.

"What?" he questioned.

Buck forced a smile. "Never knew you could use one word sentences."

"If motivated," Ezra tried to return lightly.

With a deep breath, Buck said, "We, Vin and me, tried to tell Chris something was wrong. Last night Vin told him 'bout Ella owning the mining company."

Ezra stared at him. When he had passed Vin and Nathan carrying Larabee upstairs, he had felt the anger radiating off his friend like heat off an iron stove. Closing his eyes, Ezra now understood it and the pain he had also sensed. Vin loved Chris, felt a connection with the man beyond most family; Chris had betrayed that connection by not acting on Vin's words. If Chris had listened to the other two, some of the bloodshed might have been avoided. He looked up at Buck again. Through the sorrow, he could see the same thoughts reflected in the blue eyes, the same pondering that if Chris had been in his right mind, Buck's lady might still be alive. Surprisingly, there was no anger in Buck's expression, as if he accepted that Chris had been too far lost to false dreams to be held to blame. Ezra knew Vin didn't accept it.

"Still hard to believe she almost took us," Buck said.

"She would do my mother proud." Ezra stood up and walked to the window, hoping to glimpse Vin. "Her plan was nearly flawless. There was something here to keep each of us busy, away from close consideration of the situation. The charming ladies, the bogus doctor, the gambling, the challenge of another fast gun, something for everyone--"

"Except Vin," Buck observed.

Once more staring around the room, Ezra wondered how anyone could be so driven. "The plan was almost successful. Chris would have remained. We would have returned to Four Corners."

"Wonder what made her go nuts and send those guys after us?" Buck questioned.

"Perhaps," Ezra speculated, "Chris was listening to you and Vin. He may have expressed some doubt, some hesitation." As if matching his thoughts a cloud, warning of a summer shower, cast the room into darkness. "I would say that having gotten so close to her goal then seeing it starting to slip away was too much. It drove her over the precipice on which she was already delicately balanced."

Silence claimed the two of them. Ezra laid down the locket. "I suppose Vin will return when he is finished with the grisly chore."

"Nah," Buck said. "He was gonna pack, get ready to go after that bitch."

Panic grabbed Ezra. "Alone?"

"Yeah. Said we had too much reason to...."

Shoving through the door, Ezra walked rapidly toward the bunkhouse.

Vin heard the door open behind him and knew immediately who it was. He didn't turn; he merely continued to pack the supplies. The anger that had started last night was now blazing hot and high. There was nothing more to say to Chris. The realization of what his own obsession had brought about was weighing more heavily on Larabee than anything Vin could say to him. But what Ezra had done....

"I refuse to let you go alone after that--"

Vin whirled around - the anger flaring out of control. "Get the hell away from me."

He didn't raise his voice; his tone was low, almost a growl. Ezra stared, green eyes widening at the anger he rarely heard from the normally placid tracker. There was confusion on Ezra's handsome face. Vin knew himself well enough to know that right now he was dangerous, his anger leaving no room for misplaced words. When Vin was this mad, it led to deliberately cold actions that he rarely regretted.

"What?" Ezra stammered. "Vin, I know you tried to tell...."

Vin's eyes narrowed, the anger reinforced by Ezra's complete ignorance over why he was mad. His jaw tightened to almost painful. He took two steps toward the gambler and Ezra actually took a step back.

"Have you ever really cared for anything but money?" Vin demanded in a low voice.

"I don't--" Ezra started.

"You jumped into the middle of a goddamn gunfight for a rock!" Vin growled.

Still confused, Ezra said, "It was a diamond worth hundreds!"

"It was not worth your life," Vin snapped. "It was not worth what you mean to me! You are a selfish, thoughtless bastard, Ezra."

Vin saw the magnitude of his anger was finally beginning to get through to the gambler. "I was only thinking of what we..."

The silver vest was crushed in his hands as Vin grabbed Ezra and shoved him up against the flimsy wall. "Don't lie to me! Admit that money means more to you than anything or anyone, including yourself! But don't ever lie to me!"

Ezra staggered a little as Vin released him. Vin spun away, cutting off any argument that Ezra might have tried. In the middle of the gunfight with Smiling Jack, in trying to save Chris and stop Ella, the single searing moment was Ezra jumping away from cover to retrieve a lost jewel. All he could see was the vision of Ezra lying dead in the bloody sand, hand outstretched for the damned diamond. Swallowing against the anger and fear, Vin took a deep breath and returned to packing. There was silence from behind him. What could Ezra say? They both knew the truth, even if the conman refused to see it.

Vin shook his head. He knew it wasn't just Ezra's stupid act. It was everything since they had started the doomed trip to Ella's ranch. Shoving the thoughts aside, he concentrated on becoming what he had once been, letting all his thoughts and instincts turn hunter again. He would find her; he would make her pay for what she had done to them, not only to Chris' family but to the family she had broken here. Vin's breath caught on that thought, on the idea that something between them was gone now, lost to greed of varying kinds. He didn't want to think on it; he preferred the anger. Picking up the worn leather bags, he started for the door.

A choked voice, barely recognizable, called out, "Will you be back?"

"Yes," he whispered. He would come back, if only to confirm his kill with the others.

"When?"

"Don't know."

"Vin...."

The single word staggered him. It was as full of loss and misery as any he'd ever heard from Ezra. The hot anger died suddenly, leaving only cold sorrow. He sighed, fighting down tears. He had broken his own promise, his vow that nothing would ever hurt Ezra again. He damned Ella; because of her Chris had betrayed his trust; Ezra had betrayed his love, and he had betrayed Ezra. He slammed the door behind him, not answering Ezra's desperate summons.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra poured another shot, downed it in one swallow and looked forlornly at the bottle. Half a bottle on a stomach that had been empty for over twenty hours and he was still far too sober. Twenty hours. How could things go so wrong in so short a time? He shook his head, correcting that thought. Things had been wrong since Chris had announced his intention to stay, since Vin had ridden to Red Rock to discover the truth of Ella Gaines' plan. It had only magnified from there.

From outside Ezra could hear the soft patter of rain, and a short distance away, Josiah's voice raised in a funeral hymn. The last of Ella's victims, Hilda, being buried. Vin had been gone for less than three hours and already Ezra could feel the cold and the darkness returning to his life. But along with that was anger--what had he done that was so terrible? It wasn't as if anyone had been hurt. He could have retrieved the diamond if Josiah hadn't grabbed him back!

As he reached for another drink, the door opened and JD walked quietly in. The boy smiled at him, a gesture that Ezra would normally have appreciated; now it did nothing to raise his spirits. JD took off his hat and pointed toward Chris on the bed.

"How is he?" he asked softly.

"Sleeping peacefully for the moment," Ezra confirmed.

"Want me to relieve you? We finished all the burying."

He wanted to say yes, wanted to ride after Vin, to explain why he had done it, to assure Vin that half of the money was his, that they would always share equally. To assure himself that things were not as bad as they seemed. Anger flashed through him again. Why was Vin so unreasonable?

"No, thank you, Mister Dunne," he said with a forced half-smile. "I believe Mister Wilmington will be needing you tonight."

Sorrow touched JD's deep brown eyes. "I think he may have really loved her." He stood to leave, reaching into his pocket. "Found this for you, Ezra. Guess some good should come of this."

Carefully, the sheriff put the diamond on the small night table between Ezra and their sleeping leader. Ezra stared at it, suddenly numb. "Thank you, JD."

JD paused for a moment, obviously confused by his lack of enthusiasm. "Something's big wrong, ain't it?" he asked.

Ezra couldn't help but give a mirthless chuckle. JD bristled. "I ain't stupid, Ezra, I meant besides Chris being shot, Buck and Hilda, besides Ella being the one...." He stopped. "It's between us, all'a us, something's changed...gone."

Swallowing hard, Ezra looked up at JD, and realized with a start that this was no longer a boy in front of him. He struggled to find words, to answer the question so evident in JD's voice. Nothing came, so he glanced away, looking at the diamond on the perfectly finished wood.

"Whatever it is," JD said carefully, confidence heavy in his voice, "We'll get it back."

Ezra felt familiar sarcasm jump to mind in the face of such optimism, but he couldn't find it in him to deny his friend. A minute later, Ezra found himself alone with Chris. Picking up the diamond, he let it roll between his fingers, barely feeling it. It finally came to lie, cold and hard, in the center of his palm. It caught the light from the lamp, sparkling dully. Ezra blinked, remembering gold skin highlighted by the same kind of light. He blinked harder, trying to drive back the tears, clenching the small stone so hard it left an indentation in his skin.

Taking a deep breath, he fought his chaotic emotions under control. He settled deeper into the heavy stuffed chair, thinking back to an old trick he'd often employed to check the progress of a con. It was the simple act of reversing roles to understand what the mark was seeing. Closing his eyes, he pictured Vin as the one diving into the open -

He sat bolt upright in the chair with a gasp, feeling as if he'd been gut-punched. With frightening clarity, Ezra understood what Vin had imagined, the picture that so terrified his friend it had fired the normally slow-to-raise anger. Forcing himself to lean back, Ezra swallowed hard. God, what had he done? If Vin had done something so stupid as to leap into the middle of a gunfight trying to retrieve a valuable, Ezra would have never forgiven him. Or if Josiah had been killed saving his contemptible skin, he would have never forgiven himself. Ezra sighed, trying to get away from the images, trying to think of how he could ever make this up to his.... Would Vin still want him? Or had the anger been strong enough to burn away the love?

Another wave of sorrow went though him as he realized that Vin had also been right about his lying. He had not been thinking about sharing the money; he had only been thinking about fine clothes, good food and high-stakes poker in New Orleans. Vin had never entered his thoughts. Lowering his head into his hands, he rubbed at his eyes, trying to deny the tears that were threatening.

"Vin?" Chris whispered, startling Ezra away from his thoughts.

Ezra took a breath at the name. "No, Mister Larabee, just me I'm afraid." Remembering what Nathan had instructed him, he reached for the glass of water resting on the table. Sliding closer, he said, "Mister Jackson wants you to try to consume as much water as possible."

It was awkward and strangely comforting to aid Chris to raise his head enough to get the glass of liquid down. Chris was sweating by the time he had finished and Ezra asked, "Nathan has laudanum if--"

"Where's Vin?"

Ezra was glad Chris' eyes were closed. He knew the gunslinger was far too observant to miss the sorrow that covered his face. Clearing his throat, Ezra said levelly, "Tracking Gaines."

The short answer made Chris roll his head toward him. Ezra schooled his expression to careful concern and nothing else.

"Not Missus Gaines?" Chris said a little blearily.

"No," Ezra said with more vehemence than he intended. "That honorific is reserved for women who deserve it."

"Vin alone?"

"Yes. He wouldn't allow anyone to accompany him."

"Guess he's pretty mad," Chris said. Ezra waited, knowing the gunslinger was mostly talking to himself. A puzzled look came over the man's pale face. "No one else hurt?"

For an instant Ezra thought of saying no, but his own anger and dismay over the whole disaster made him laugh. "Hurt? Not in the physical sense, but emotionally seems to be another story." The ice and sarcasm in his voice made Chris stare at him. Ezra knew Nathan would have his head for treating Chris like this but he didn't care. "Due to this little debacle, I have managed to lose Josiah's respect and Vin's... friendship. You, on the other hand, have surpassed even that by betraying Vin's and Buck's trust as well as Mary's--"

"Shut up, Ezra," Chris growled, though the pain in it belied the menace.

"And the truly miserable lesson to this story is that we both had everything in our hands, only to throw it away to chase dreams!" He slammed the shotglass down on the glittering stone, watching the glass fake diamond shatter. The small act of violence drained his anger. Running his fingers through the fine glass, he finished quietly, "Dreams that were no more than dust to begin with."

He looked over at Chris, worried that he had given away too much with his words and actions. Chris was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought, looking at the world through is own actions and shattered dreams. Ezra turned away, leaving them both with only their thoughts for company; company neither one wanted at the moment.

Eight

Cradling his wounded arm to his chest, Ezra eased himself into the chair at the dressing table. Nathan had done his usual excellent job of treating the bullet wound. The crease along the ribs was minor, the wad of money having forced the assassin's gun to the left, resulting in the bullet cutting through the muscle on the underside of his upper arm. The arm throbbed, but Nathan had given him some yew tea for later, to ease the pain when he tried to sleep.

Easing the jacket off his shoulders, Ezra laid it on the table, staring thoughtfully at the cut lining. When he had stuffed the retrieved assassin's money into his coat, he had told himself that since none of the others trusted him, he had no reason not to take it. Reaching across the table, he flipped the mirror back over, able now to smile sadly at his reflection. It had been a lame excuse. A person didn't prove himself trustworthy by doing something untrustworthy. Ezra knew now that he would have taken the money no matter what the reaction of the others.

Yet, when he thought the governor was about to be killed, he had turned back, choosing duty over gain. He had passed a test that he was not even aware he needed to take. Reaching for the bottle that had become a familiar companion over the past few weeks, he stopped, staring at it thoughtfully. Finally, he sat it aside, wanting to try to sort through the feelings that were running tight circles in his mind without being dulled by the liquor. Closing his eyes, he fought back the tears as he wished once more that he could talk to Vin.

Two weeks previously, Vin had ridden back into town, spoken briefly with Chris, re-supplied, and ridden out again. Vin had not tried to find him. The tracker, tired and worn had come back three days ago, just in time for them to learn of the assassination attempt being planned against someone in the town. During their hunt for the hired killer, Vin had been silent and withdrawn, keeping to himself. On the few occasions when they had been forced by circumstances together, Ezra no longer sensed the hot anger. There had been an almost sad withdrawal.

He had let the ten thousand dollars distract him from thoughts of Vin, considering it a way to escape the pain of Vin's loss. When he had turned away from that path to stop the assassin, he knew it would mean facing his hurt while accepting the fate that held him here. Now, though, a new feeling joined the whirlwind in Ezra's mind - determination. If fate had forced him to recognize his life here - then it would be a life that included Vin, even if it were only as a friend. It was time to have it out. He had beaten the money. Ezra needed Vin to understand that he had chosen friendship and duty. Standing up, he straightened the bloody vest and opened the door.

Vin was standing at the entrance with his hand raised, ready to knock. They stared at each other for a long minute. Ezra took a step back, searching Vin's winter-sky eyes, trying to find the love that had burned so strongly there. Vin ducked his head, hiding his eyes in the shadow of his worn hat.

"Came to see if you were okay," Vin explained.

Cheered by that small concern, and hearing no anger in the man's tone, Ezra nodded. "I'm quite well, Mister Tanner. Please, won't you come in?"

He held his breath as Vin glanced away, then at the floor. There was embarrassment in every move and line of the slender body. Something in Ezra started hoping again, started imagining that he could salvage the friendship he so desperately needed. Vin stepped past him to stand awkwardly near the table. Ezra took a sharp breath as Vin's long fingers gently touched the ruined red jacket.

"You were gonna leave," Vin said softly.

The words were filled with sorrow and regret. Ezra took a step closer, close enough that he could have touched the worn buckskin fringe on the man's coat. He restrained himself, merely letting his fingers touch the red cloth just beside Vin's.

"Yes," he answered honestly. "I had no reason to remain and ten thousand to leave."

Vin stiffened at that, square jaw clenching.

"Or so I thought," Ezra continued. "I am still here, Vin, because I need you as a friend. I need all six of you. There is no monetary reward worth the loss of the friendship we have." With a soft sigh, Vin lowered his head. Staring at the red coat, Ezra said, "I know I destroyed whatever love you held for me when I chose to pursue the diamond. When I ... failed to notice the deception Gaines was weaving... when I endangered Mister Sanchez, as well as how selfish...."

A small, inarticulate sound cut him off. He stepped closer, drawn to the sound like a parent to a child in distress. There were tears running down Vin's pale cheeks. Ezra stared, lost as to what was happening.

"Vin?"

"I thought you were dead," Vin whispered.

"What? I don't...." Understanding flashed like lightning in a moonless night. "Oh."

Vin had been on the roof during the gunfight with the one-eyed assassin; he would have seen the assassin shove the gun into Ezra's stomach, would have seen Ezra go down. It would have been the same nightmarish image that he had when Ezra jumped after the diamond, only this time there truly was blood in the sand.

And with that flash of understanding Ezra knew he had been completely wrong about Vin's anger. It wouldn't have burned away what they had, it would have tempered it, made it all that stronger, made it all the more frighteningly solid. More important, Ezra knew, it made it possible to forgive.

Without thinking, Ezra pulled Vin to him and wrapped his good arm around the lean form. "Oh God, I'm sorry, Vin. Please forgive me. It was stupid to go after that diamond."

To his horror, Vin gripped his shirt tight, tears falling without the slightest sound. Ezra shook his arm free of the sling, raised it painfully to stroke the damp hair. "I'm okay. I'm here. I will always be here, my love."

"Sorry... sorry," Vin mumbled, leaning into Ezra's chest.

Shifting slowly, Ezra got them both to the bed, maintaining his hold as they sat down. Vin's tears had stopped; now he only seemed resigned and hesitant. His arms came up and wrapped around Ezra's back, returning the hold. They stayed that way a long time, taking and giving assurance and love. Finally, wiping the back of his hand over his eyes, Vin sat up, eyes red, and met Ezra's gaze,.

"What I said, I ain't apologizing for it. But I just should've made sure you knew it didn't mean I didn't love you.... I shouldn't've run like...."

Ezra leaned over and kissed him very gently across his lips. "Hush now. You were right. We have both reached a new understanding of what this all means; there is nothing more to say."

Vin considered this for a moment, then announced, "Think next time I'll just punch you."

"I'm not sure that is the best solution," Ezra said. Running his thumb over his lip, he added, "Though Josiah seemed to consider it a proper answer."

Vin smiled and Ezra's heart melted at the way Vin's blue eyes crinkled up. Ezra touched his cheek lightly. "It would be a vast understatement to say that I missed you terribly."

"Yeah, me too," Vin whispered. Leaning in and laying a light kiss on Ezra's cheek, he said,

"When the moon caught me I was alone; and the shadows mocked me.
What could I say to the shadows?
I had chosen the road; had ridden into the dark.
When the sun found me, I was on the right road,
Standing in the daylight with you."

It was Ezra's turn to feel the tears gather in his eyes. "Good Lord, Vin, your poetry makes any apology seem rather mundane in comparison."

"It'd be enough to hear you say you love me," Vin encouraged.

"I love you." Reaching for him, Ezra gave a quick yelp of pain as he shifted too fast. Before Vin could worry, Ezra gave him a quick smile, one that came from the bottom of his soul. They both laughed, though there was the slightest hint of sorrow still lingering in the tone.

Sliding closer, Ezra said silkily, "Well, besides the creation of that wonderful poem, there is perhaps one other good outcome of all this. I can claim it as the first time in my long and varied life, that I missed someone enough to have some rather, uh, erotic dreams about them."

"Erotic?" Vin repeated. "That sounds good."

Kissing across Vin's chin and up along his ear, Ezra said, "I am sure the nocturnal images will fade to insignificance compared to the actual event."

"Damn," Vin laughed. "I missed not understanding you, Ezra."

Ezra gave him a glare, as he stroked down Vin's back. The reality of the too-sharp ribs made him sit back and look more closely at his slim partner. Vin was pale despite the dark tan, eyes weary behind the happiness that was back in the azure depths. While he very much wanted to just sit and hold him, Ezra eased himself to his feet, brought Vin up with him.

"You resemble a man who has ridden three weeks and not slept during the entire hellish odyssey."

Shaking his head, Vin said, "You ain't looking much better."

"Agreed," Ezra said shortly as he eased his arm back into the sling. "Which is why we are both going to have a long bath, a big steak dinner and a few, very few drinks. Then..." he let his voice trail off seductively. Vin's eyes met his, waiting for the rest of it as they moved toward the door. "Then I am going to pay for a room for your use, so that you can pursue a decent night's sleep."

Vin stopped dead. "But -."

"Now," Ezra continued, "if, during the dark hours of the night, you require some ... help getting to sleep, it would put me close at hand to be of assistance."

He pulled the door open and motioned Vin ahead of him. Vin cocked his head and Ezra nearly gasped at the wanton look on the handsome face. Slapping Vin on the back, Ezra led as they headed downstairs.

Nine

Chris barely noticed the tug of healing muscles as he raised his glass. From his corner table in the saloon he watched Ezra, Vin, Nathan and Josiah at the poker table. Nathan was nagging Ezra, and Chris could guess it was over not resting after his being wounded just that afternoon. JD was at the bar talking to Inez as she cleaned up, preparing to close. A twinge of loneliness went through Chris, stronger than it would have been before Ella had reawakened the old longings for home and family. He put his glass down with a little more force than intended. The gesture didn't go unnoticed. Vin's eyes met his. Chris glanced away, afraid of what he would find in those knowing eyes. But he could feel Vin's gaze demand his attention.

With a sigh, he looked back up. The tracker's expression was filled with the same calm acceptance it had held that day outside the general store nearly three years before. A feeling of relief so strong it was almost a physical ache went through Chris. Drawn to the other man much as he had been that first day, he came over and sat down at the table next to Vin.

"Mister Larabee," Ezra said in greeting, sliding a drink across to him.

He nodded his thanks, noting that the split lip Ezra had been sporting since the trip to Gaines' was completely healed. As soon as Josiah had thrown the punch, he'd forgiven the gambler for going after the diamond. It had taken a rather loud and curse-punctuated explanation before Ezra realized, from the floor, that Josiah had been mad at him for endangering his own life, not the preacher's.

The slightest smile touched Chris' face. Much more recently, poor Ezra had seemed so surprised that no one trusted him with the ten thousand dollars in cash. It was as if he hadn't realized, even after jumping into a gunfight for a diamond, how addicted he was to money. Despite that, Chris had not been surprised that Ezra had chosen the six over the chance to get rich. When Ezra had smiled up at him from the bloody ground, Chris had known that something important had changed. The stubborn southerner had finally accepted that there were things more valuable than gold, but it might just be better if temptation wasn't right in front of him.

Buck came in, shaking the rain off his hat and slicker, before tossing the wet items over the back of an empty chair. He sat down opposite Chris, nodding toward Ezra and Vin. A new load of shame joined the one that Chris was carrying. Chris had yet to face Buck's voiced doubts about Ella. And what had happened to Buck over his unwillingness to listen had been worse than Chris' betrayal of Vin. It had cost an innocent woman her life.

Then there was Mary, who had lost her trust in him. He wasn't quite sure how much she knew about the whole thing. The others might have explained to her what happened, but he didn't think that they would have told her about his plan to stay. God, how could he have been so stupid as not to see....

Looking up from the bottom of the empty whiskey glass, he saw that JD had joined them, straddling his chair backwards, elbows on the top. Damn, he hadn't even noticed the young man's arrival. If this went on much longer, he wouldn't have to worry about Ella; he'd get killed by some greenhorn out to gain a reputation.

He looked around the table. It was the first time they had all been together for nearly a month. The thunder rumbled outside, accentuating his dark mood. They had worked well together the past three days. Vin had forgiven him. It was a start.

"Chris, I swear, you don't quit brooding on it, it'll never get better," Buck said shortly. "It's been nigh on a month."

Buck's dark blue eyes were filled with worry, sorrow--and forgiveness. Chris was startled to see it. Buck had forgiven him. Now, all he had to do was forgive himself. There was a way to start, he knew. It was time for a few apologies. Picking up the bottle, he filled Vin's glass and motioned for him to pass the bottle on. The tracker did as silently requested.

When all the glasses were filled, Chris raised his - but Ezra's smooth voice cut him off. "I propose a salute to momentary transgressions." His green eyes scanned over the others, finally resting on Chris. "May we always have friends willing to forgive us for them."

"Amen, brother," Josiah said softly.

Chris looked around the table, all of the men catching and returning his gaze. They had all made mistakes and gotten beyond them. Now, it was his turn. The decision he had made at Gaines'--to leave Mary and the town, to stay with Ella, to disbelieve Vin--would take time to recover from, but this was the start. Taking a deep breath, Chris nodded, accepting the unspoken forgiveness and assurance.

With smiles and silences, they downed the whiskey. It was Buck who broke the rhythm of the rain against the window. "It ain't over," he said firmly.

A disbelieving look came over JD's face. "You think she'll be back? We whipped her boys pretty good."

Without saying a word, Chris pulled Ella's last letter from his coat. He had not intended to share it with anyone, except perhaps Vin, but they all needed to know that Buck was right. It wasn't over.

Passing the letter to Ezra, he said quietly, "Read it."

Ezra's smooth voice repeated what Chris already knew: that she was still out there, that she was still after Chris, and that her insanity had her convinced of their marriage. After finishing with Ella's new moniker of Missus Larabee, Ezra sighed, "Good Lord."

Buck added, "Shit."

But it was Nathan's reaction that surprised everyone. "You know, this might help."

When Chris glared over at him, he raised his hand in a calming gesture. "Think on it, Chris. You have a reputation. If'n she's crazy enough to go 'round claiming to be your wife, someone's gonna notice."

"The matter," Ezra picked up, "might be helped along by notifying Judge Travis of the situation."

"Telegraphed him already," Chris said, taking his turn at surprising everyone. "He's got a wanted poster going out on her." Bitterly, he added, "Guess I better tell him about her new name."

Ezra looked thoughtful for a moment, letting the cards fly unnoticed through his fingers. "I sent an inquiry to Judge Travis concerning Smiling Jack. It confirmed that his last name was Stebbin."

Vin took a sharp breath. "Damn, we were close!"

"Think it'd do any good going back to Brunswick?" Buck asked.

"Even these reprobates wouldn't be so self-assured to believe they could continue to operate out of that town without consequences."

"That a yes or no, Ezra?" JD asked, only half-joking.

"That is a no, Mister Dunne. If that telegram had arrived only a day later...." Ezra speculated absently, rubbing his wounded arm.

Chris flinched, realizing that his binge at Purgatorio had cost them the best lead they had come across. Picking up his glass, he slammed back the contents.

"What telegram?" Buck asked. "I thought y'all had just run dry."

Vin and Ezra exchanged startled looks. It was Vin who said, "The one you sent us. About getting back early so's to help find Chris."

"I didn't send anything." Buck's eyes narrowed in thought.

A wave of surprise went through the group. Chris filled his glass slowly, realizing that the others were waiting for him to make a decision. He held the glass up and said thoughtfully, "Someone got word out about the dance. Then someone got Vin and Ezra back here when they were getting too close to Smiling Jack." Draining the glass, then setting it down carefully, he continued, "I think it's time we paid a visit to the telegraph office."

"We all go charging down there in the middle of the night," Nathan spoke up, "and someone's gonna know."

"Nathan's right," Vin said. "Be better just a couple of us go tomorrow."

"The only real lead has been the one Garner supplied about Brunswick," Chris said.

"You find Garner?" Buck asked.

Chris nodded. "Mary helped. I sent him everything I found in the house that might have been his son's."

"I don't understand," JD commented. "If Vin and Ezra were getting close, why didn't she just have them killed instead of getting them back here?"

Buck swatted him on the back of the head. "'Cause then we'd've all rode hell bent for Brunswick to find out what happened."

"And she wouldn't have gotten us to the ranch," Josiah finished with a sigh. "We have danced to the lady's tune all along."

Chris felt the old impatience fill his stomach. He fought it down, knowing that he had already been the cause of their losing both Smiling Jack and Ella. With a sigh, he reached for the bottle again. As he poured another round, he noticed that Ezra, who had been quiet for a longer time than was normal, had his eyes closed and his head tipped forward. The gambler was obviously feeling the wound and the long day.

Reaching out, Chris tapped his arm. Ezra jerked awake, then leaned back, yawning. Nathan stood, walked to Ezra and squatted next to him.

Ezra stared at the man as if he expected him to bite. "Mister Jackson?"

"Let's see that arm," Nathan insisted.

"I'm fine, sir...."

"Let him see your arm, Ezra," Chris ordered.

The green eyes cut him a cold glare that faded into tolerant indulgence. Without a word, the gambler eased his arm free, lifted it very slightly from his waist. A grimace passed over Ezra's pale features as Nathan touched lightly around the bandage. Seeing the trouble he was having, Chris slipped his hand under his friend's elbow, supporting the arm. Ezra cast him a quick smile of gratitude, something Chris was sure he wouldn't have seen only that morning.

"Looks good. Still dry," Nathan said. The dark healer rose and patted Ezra's right shoulder. "You've had a long day, Ezra, best get to bed."

Chris barely contained his smile as Ezra gave Nathan a look of complete disbelief. "Bed, Mister Jackson? It's not yet midnight."

"Ezra, there ain't no one left to beat at cards 'cept'n us," Nathan complained.

"And you already got all our money," JD quipped.

Vin came to his feet. "Come on," he said quietly. "Let's go."

Rain pelted hard against the window nearest them, sounding a warning for hail. Chris frowned. "Mighty bad night for sleeping in that leaky wagon, Vin."

Bringing the fading Ezra to his feet, Vin smiled. "It ain't leaky and I ain't sleeping in it. Ezra talked me into getting a room tonight."

"I did?" Ezra asked in confusion.

"Yeah."

"Why?" Ezra wondered almost to himself.

"'Cause you owe me." Vin offered nothing more.

Ezra yawned. "Fine. Shall we both proceed to our chambers, then."

There was a general chuckle and no one bothered asking why Ezra owed Vin. Chris watched them disappear up the stairs before turning his attention back to the others. Josiah had stood to join Nathan in putting on their raingear. A strong hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up into Buck's confident gaze.

"We'll get Ella for all of us, Chris."

+ + + + + + +

Vin guided Ezra to the bed, then turned and lit the lamp before closing the door and checking the lock. When he turned to help Ezra undress he suddenly found himself with an armful of eager gambler. His mouth was covered and lips teased open to admit Ezra's tongue. He took a deep, sharp breath and eased away enough to see into the jade- green eyes. Ezra was smiling dangerously at him, all traces of exhaustion gone. Vin's eyes narrowed.

"You conman," he accused.

"Just one of the many reasons you love me," Ezra said firmly.

Returning the smile, Vin reached for the dark green jacket Ezra was wearing, only to stop and lightly touch the white sling. "You sure you...."

Ezra ripped the sling over his head, jerked Vin to him and kissed him again. Vin gasped, moaning as Ezra's tongue once more filled his mouth, desire flickering through him like the shadows cast by the lamp. He moaned, tangling his hands in the rich brown hair, holding Ezra still while he sucked on his tongue, swirling his own around it until they both had to break away to breathe.

"I missed you," Vin whispered.

"Shush," Ezra muttered. "What I said to Mister Larabee was for all of us. There is nothing to dwell on."

Vin stared into the beautiful green eyes. "Promise me you'll be careful. That crazy bitch, Ella, scares me."

"I will be cautious," Ezra intoned. "We will overcome her, Vin. I am coming to believe there is very little in this world that can overwhelm the seven of us."

The confused confidence in Ezra's voice brought a smile to Vin's face. "You been drinking?"

Ezra's eyes widen. "What?"

"You sounding pretty sure for a man who didn't believe in any ah this," Vin reminded him.

"I have learned that love can give a new perspective to most things," Ezra said as he reached for his shirt.

Vin also reached for his, only to see the surprise in Ezra's green eyes. "What's wrong?"

He could see Ezra's pale throat move as he swallowed hard. Vin felt like kicking himself. Ezra was more certain than ever of his position in the town and, more importantly, in Vin's life, but the shadows were not completely gone. Taking a step closer, Vin kissed Ezra very gently.

"Don't start without me," he said firmly.

Ezra smiled, the light returning to his eyes. "Vin, one day...."

Vin ran his hands through Ezra's rich brown hair. "I know."

Starting out, Vin said, "I'll go down and tell the boys I put you to bed. Then I'll come up and put you to bed."

Ezra gave him a sweet smile, one that lightened the pale face, one that made it almost impossible for Vin to close the door. Two long strides brought him back to the startled gambler. The kiss was quick, almost chaste before Vin practically sprinted for the door.

+ + + + + + +

There was a slight hitch in Ezra's soft breathing. Vin tightened his arms around the strong body, aching to have him awake and at the same time hoping he slept through the night. Just as Ezra had noticed Vin's exhaustion, so Vin had seen the tremors in the normally steady hands, the way the jade-green eyes would cloud with sleep. After going downstairs he had sat with Chris and Buck for an hour, knowing what he would find when he came upstairs.

Ezra had made it to bed minus his vest, guns, belt and boots, but still wearing his pants and shirt. Moving as quietly as he could, Vin had disrobed and joined him on the narrow bed. Aside from a soft mutter and pushing back into Vin's arms, Ezra never noticed. That had been several hours ago. Outside the rain continued to fall, blocking the moonlight and stars. It was that particular dark time of night, the hour just before dawn started to light the plain.

Wrapped safe in his arms, Ezra shifted; then there was a soft sigh, and Vin knew his lover was awake. He waited, letting Ezra decide whether he was too far lost to exhaustion or need. A soft hand came up and began to stroke along the arm he had draped across Ezra's chest.

"Vin, have you been awake all night?" Ezra asked in concern.

"Nah, not all night," Vin admitted.

"Why were you gone such an inordinate amount of time?" Ezra demanded.

Kissing along one ear, Vin said, "'Cause I knew you needed to sleep."

What started as a noise of protest, finished as a yawn and slight laugh. "Well, in this instance, I am willing to forgive you since it appears you were correct."

"Gosh, thanks," Vin said with a touch of sarcasm. "'Sides, Ezra, you're awake now."

The chuckle this time was husky, sending a small jolt of excitement into Vin's blood. "What is it that seems to force us into these pre- dawn delights?" Ezra wondered.

Nuzzling into the soft hair, Vin said, "You're a night animal, Ezra. Like a mountain cat. One day though I'm gonna have you outside, watch those beautiful green eyes sparkling in the sunlight."

Under his arms, he could feel Ezra's breathing quicken, felt him tilt his head sideways in open invitation for Vin to continue the soft kisses down his neck. Vin undid the pearl buttons on Ezra's cotton shirt, continued on down to the heavy pleated pants. Ezra shifted, and had to stifle a small blurt of pain.

"Let me up," Ezra requested.

The gambler slipped out of bed, nothing more than a shape in the blackness. The darkness highlighted sound. Vin could hear the soft brush of cloth against warm flesh, could hear the short catch in Ezra's breathing as he eased the shirt away from the wounded arm. A pang of empathy caught in Vin's chest at the sound and, unbidden, his thoughts went back to the shooting.

Seeing Ezra fall was forever burned into his memory. The horror of thinking his lover fatally wounded had been magnified by the argument that stood between them. Shooting the assassin was only a vague flash, like a scene in a dark, silent room. Light and life had come back into his world only when he had seen Chris smile down at the injured gambler. At that instant he had sworn that he would never again let Ezra misunderstand his place in Vin's life.

Thoughts vanished as Ezra slipped back into the bed, sliding close with a small grunt of pain as he jarred his arm. Vin leaned in and kissed him deeply, feeling his cock growing against Ezra's groin. Running his hands over the smooth skin, Vin felt almost light headed, like a man too long without water suddenly given too much. Ezra's quiet moan of pleasure told him the feeling was returned. He nuzzled into the man's shoulder.

"I love you," he said.

He reached for Ezra's chest and gained another barely controlled gasp of pain, this time for the ribs. Vin edged away a little. "Reckon it's my turn to worry about hurting you."

Ezra only offered a smile of apology, remembering too well his own concern over Vin's ribs. Vin let his hand trail down a soft cheek, vaguely wondering if Ezra's whiskers weren't as thick because of the missing testicle. He knew gelded horses didn't get the same characteristics that stallions did, so it made sense. Stroking his hand back into the fine hair, he kissed the willing lips, teasing along them for a moment before sucking Ezra's tongue into his mouth.

Shifting away to give Ezra plenty of room, he said, "Get comfortable."

"I'm fine as I--"

"Ezra," Vin said in exasperation, "do I argue over your ideas?"

Eyes wide, Ezra said, "Yes!"

"I don't ....." Vin frowned and changed tracks. "Okay, reckon I do. But, well, do it for me."

Enjoying the admission, Ezra shifted on the bed until he was lying on his left side, arm in front of him. Vin smiled, pulling out of the corner he had shoved himself into, wrapping himself around the shorter man's back, very careful of the two stark white bandages barely visible against the fair skin.

He once more started kissing along Ezra's neck, hands carding through the dark hair. Leaning back a little, he tugged on the fine strains. "You growing this for me?"

"No," Ezra said shakily. "I was not feeling very... interested in my appearance of late."

Understanding what his lover had been thinking of, Vin sighed. He thought of telling Ezra not to ever worry again over being loved, but he knew he had said enough. Instead he changed the subject by saying, "I was proud of you this afternoon. You done good."

He heard the smile in Ezra's voice. "Mister Larabee expressed the same thought. Now, if I could gain that response without getting shot in the process."

Vin's hand roamed down the smooth, strong back. "Damn, you lost weight on me, boy."

Ezra gave a snort of dismay. "Given the evidence of your ribs prodding me, you are not in a position to lecture anyone."

With one hand on the fine ass, Vin's other hand drifted over Ezra's chest, pinching at the already hard nipples.

"I can't reach you," Ezra complained. "Hell, I can't even see you."

"You got no need to do either. Just lay there and feel me," Vin said silkily. "I'll do all the work tonight. You done apologized, my turn now."

When Ezra didn't argue, Vin worried a little that his lover might be too tired. But when his hand drifted lower down the smooth chest, Ezra moaned softly and shifted back, rubbing against Vin's growing erection. Encouraged, and feeling the charge starting to gather in his blood, Vin thrust his shaft between Ezra's legs, sliding along under the scarred ball and half-filled cock.

"Slide your leg over a mite," he instructed Ezra, kissing along the square shoulders. There was the slightest hesitation then Ezra let his leg move so that his knee rested on the sheet.

"Vin?" Ezra asked steadily. "Will you take me tonight?"

The question surprised the tracker. He had every intention of one day claiming Ezra, but the one time he had mentioned it, it had been as Ezra taking him. Vin could feel the almost imperceptible stiffening of the body in his arms. He could also feel the trust and consent in the way Ezra moved his leg.

Kissing along the top of Ezra's neck, he said, "Not tonight. One day." Lightly, nipping at the junction of shoulder and neck, he added, "I want you strong and healthy and ready. When I take you, you're gonna be begging for it."

The cock resting against his twitched. "I am perfectly willing to try...."

"When your arm heals," Vin insisted. "It's easier if'n you can get on all fours."

That image brought him a quick moan and a shove back. Ezra grabbed his wrist and put Vin's hand on the long cock. Vin sighed, as he tightened his hand around the shaft, loving the feel of it, the way the scars and vein rubbed across his palm. Pushing Ezra's cock down to press against his, Vin let the friction raise the dance of electricity along his nerves. Ezra's sharp breath signaled the connection arching between them.

Shifting up a little, he reached under his pillow for the stoppered bottle of mineral oil. He smiled a little, wondering if Ezra was going to get upset over the mess they were about to make out of his sheets. He grabbed the cork with his teeth and jerked it free. Ezra turned his head, and even in the dark, Vin could see the confused look. Vin kissed him, sliding his tongue barely in to run over the edge of Ezra's teeth.

"You'll like it, Ezra," he assured him.

Ezra smiled at him. "I know I will."

Vin moved his hand off Ezra's cock, poured oil into his right hand and spread it well over both palms. Ezra watched him over his shoulder, appeared completely lost in the moves of his hands. Tipping the bottle once more, Vin filled his left hand, reached between Ezra's legs and spread the smooth oil from the tip of his cock back to the tight entrance to his body. "So good..." Ezra moaned, rolling his head forward to the bed.

"Wish I was ambi... whatever you said," Vin muttered, using his left hand a little awkwardly to tease lightly over the ridged ring of muscle.

He felt the energy in his veins, heard it in Ezra's soundless moan. Vin eased back into position, his hand going to stroke Ezra's cock slowly while his own shaft slipped between the hard thighs. Ezra started moving now, thrusting into Vin's hand, breathing hard and deep. Teasing the tight muscle, Vin sucked on the strong shoulder, letting his lover set the pace. When Ezra started moving a little faster, pushing back against him, Vin squeezed the flared head of the shiny cock--and slipped one finger into the tight body.

"Vin!" Ezra froze.

"Easy." He kept up the caresses on the swollen cock.

"That's...;." Ezra panted, pushed back a little. "Strange... wonderful...."

Vin laid butterfly- light kisses along his shoulders, down the wounded arm. "If I get goin' too fast, you stop me."

The only answer he got was for Ezra to shove forward through Vin's fist, then back on the slender invader. A whimper of pleasure filled the small room. Vin began to move his finger in rhythm with his other hand. He closed his eyes, feeling the slick interior muscles of Ezra's body, imagined what it would be like to have them surround his cock. He gave a quiet moan and pulled harder on the slender shaft.

"Vin...." ; Ezra panted.

Drawing himself back from the erotic visions, Vin stilled his movements, letting Ezra do himself for a minute. The sight and feel of the body moving under and around him heightened the surges of power, gathered them along his groin. Vin buried his face against Ezra's shoulder, growling with lust. He could feel each rapid heartbeat under his arm, could feel Ezra's pulse in the oiled flesh, knew the light that was dancing through Ezra's blood.

"Vin...." ; Ezra whispered again, begging for more.

On the next thrust back, Vin pushed another finger into the small opening. Ezra gave a cry of sheer passion. Vin could sense the power of the new sensations racing like lightning through the strong body, could hear Ezra's breathing becoming erratic. He squeezed Ezra's cock, then tightened two fingers around the base, cutting off his orgasm.

"Vin, please..."

Keeping both his hands still, Vin asked breathlessly, "Bring your leg back a little. Take a deep breath and hold still a minute."

"I'm so close...." Ezra pleaded.

"I know," Vin said huskily.

The hard muscles of Ezra's thighs, well oiled and hot, now encased Vin's shaft. They both lay still. Vin's fingers were a tight ring around Ezra's shaft, denying him completion. Only when the tense muscles relaxed under his hands did Vin move, thrusting, shoving his cock through the gripping legs, feeling the tingles building through his blood. Ezra struggled to shove back, but Vin's body stopped him. A growl of frustration faded into a low moan as Vin slipped his fingers slowly out, then back in. Tightening the hold around Ezra's cock, but not pumping, Vin concentrated on the way the hard muscle clenched his fingers, on the soft sound of flesh on oiled flesh. He crooked his fingers, widening the opening. Ezra gasped.

"Please, Vin, please..." Ezra panted.

With a feral smile, Vin began to move, pumping the long cock, sliding his shaft under the taut ball, thrusting his fingers in and out.

"Like before a storm, ain't it? Lightning waiting to hit." He let the energy take over, gasping. "Let it take you, Ezra."

Ezra's panting had become hard sobbing breaths, his shoves frantic. Vin was thrusting hard, squeezing the solid cock, drawing Ezra's orgasm from deep within him. Fighting away his own lust, Vin shoved both fingers as deep as he could into the slick passage, held Ezra tight, felt the energy coil through taut muscles, heard him cry out, burying his face against the pillow. Ezra's cock jerked, pumping hot fluid over Vin's hand. Vin let loose the storm in his veins, shoving his face against Ezra's sweat-soaked shoulder to muffle his yell of incredible pleasure as he spilled his seed over the sweat drenched thighs.

It was several minutes before Vin was able to roll away, taking long, deep breaths. It was several more minutes before he realized how still Ezra was.

He snuggled against the hot back. "Ezra?"

"I'm worried," Ezra said quietly. "If each of our sexual liaisons continues to out perform the previous one, it could prove to be fatal."

Vin's lips closed around Ezra's earlobe, tugged. "Well," he drawled, "we could stop 'fore it gets too dangerous."

Ezra tilted his head back, making a thoughtful noise in his throat. After a second he shook his head. "No, it may be deadly but I can think of no better way to approach the heavenly vestibule."

Giving a forced sigh, Vin concluded, "Reckon we're stuck with it then."

They returned to the comfortable silence. Through the rain-laden sky Vin could make out the first streaks of dawn. It was going to be a dark, dreary day. Melancholy nagged him. Leaning his head against Ezra's shoulder, he said, "It still ain't right 'tween all ah us."

The hand that had been moving up and down his arm took his hand. "I have every confidence the camaraderie we are all dependent upon will return."

There was so much assurance in the smooth southern voice that Vin actually smiled. "Yeah, you're right. Ain't much can beat us when we're together."

+ + + + + + +

The bell jingled merrily as Chris opened the door to the telegraph office. Buck and Ezra came in behind him: Buck to see if the operator recognized him, and Ezra because Chris trusted his judgment of people. The clerk came in from the back room, drying his hands on a white cloth.

"Gentlemen," ; the man said a little warily. Chris ignored the tone, knowing that sometimes they tended to intimidate the townsfolk.

"Mister McGurter," Chris said. "We need to ask you a question about a telegram that was sent out 'bout six weeks ago."

The younger man looked a little surprised but gave a shrug. Chris thought once again that the man, who had arrived in town only three months earlier, didn't look like the clerking type. At a guess Chris put him only a couple years older than JD, though he was taller than Vin with wide shoulders and arms that showed he had worked labor before punching a telegraph key. Not that the telegraph was all he did; there was also the stage and freight service to keep running.

"I can't tell you some things, Mister Larabee," McGurter said with a note of apology. "Telegrams are like the mail, private."

"We know that, son," Buck said good-naturedly. "Ain't nothing says you cain't tell us who sent it though, is there?"

McGurter frowned, obviously unsure if that were privileged information or not. Finally, he asked, "Does this have anything to do with a crime?"

"A plethora," Ezra said easily.

At McGurter's puzzled look, Chris said, "Several."

Laying the cloth down, the younger man said, "Then that should be all right. What did you need to know?"

Ezra stepped forward now. "While in Burnswick, Mister Tanner and I received a telegram. It originated in our fair town from Mister Wilmington."

McGurter's freckled Irish complexion colored up. "Yes, sir. I remember that one." He dropped his head and looked sheepishly up at Chris. "I uh, was surprised to hear... that Mister Larabee was... er, needed help."

From the corner of his eye, Chris saw Buck give him a nodding grin. Chris leaned on the counter. "And Buck sent that telegram?"

"No," McGurter confirmed their suspicions. "It was a relay from Red Fork."

The others exchanged quick, confused glances. "A relay?" Buck asked.

McGurter nodded. "Yes, sir. Guess that's why...."

The telegraph key started tapping and McGurter nodded to them, turning to the desk. From the corner of his eye Chris saw Ezra frown. McGurter typed out a quick message in reply then stood and returned to the counter.

Picking up the conversation, he said, "Guess that's why I remember it. I thought it was kind of strange that it was from Mister Wilmington when he was in town. I sent it on, though."

"Could someone send a message from one town to another to another then back to where it started?" Buck wondered.

Looking puzzled, McGurter said, "Well, sure but--"

"Someone in Brunswick must have known about you two," Buck said to Ezra.

"Is there any method by which we could determine the origin of the telegram?" Ezra asked the young man.

After a slight frown, McGurter said, "I could send a message to Bill in Red Fork and see if he recalls where it came from."

"Do that," Chris said quickly. Without waiting for acknowledgement, he went out.

A couple of steps behind him, Ezra closed the door quietly, standing with his hand on the knob for a second, worrying at the side of his lip.

"Something wrong?" Chris demanded.

Ezra looked up, giving Chris a hesitant look. "No," he finally said. "I was merely puzzled by Mister McGurter's abrupt and rather rude reply to an inquiry from Gila Flats."

"You know the code?" Buck asked.

Brushing some imaginary dust from his jacket, Ezra replied haughtily, "Of course."

Buck gave him a quick smile. "Why didn't you speak up when Western Union was hiring someone for it?"

Chris had to smile at the withering glare Ezra gave Buck at that suggestion.

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