Hazel '04: Come Home, Chris

He's pretty, you know? Something about that smooth jaw line, the fine straight ridge of his nose, that rosebud mouth and those foggy green eyes, like lanterns lit in the dark. He's lost weight, too. Shows a bit in the fit of his clothes. Mighty fine suits he wears, always just so. I don't think he can afford anything new anymore, or even afford to get the old ones tailored to fit his thinner self.

He lost the weight when he lost Chris.

We all knew it. There'd been passion there. Mad, excruciating, dazzling passion. Love? Don't know. Although, now that I think about it, probably yes for him, anyway. Because now he's so sick. Love sick. Sick to death if he doesn't pull himself out of it soon. You can't keep going the way he has and live. Won't happen. No medicine I have will help.

We've been trying to reach him but he's withdrawn. Like someone rolled up the carpet and rode off. Body's still here. But maybe not for long.

If only Chris would come back.

7777777

When Chris said good-bye, my heart broke. Now I stand amidst the shards, dying inside and out. He just walked away. And I am dying.

7777777

If we don't find Chris soon, old Ez will be history. Man has given up.

7777777

JD's been hounding the search engines, looking for any hints of where he went. Broke through more firewalls than anybody has a right to even know exist. Kid's scary sometimes and when he gets on a trail, watch out. Only. Only he hasn't found a trace of Chris yet and it's three months.

Never hurts to try good old human contact, you know. So I've tried to call up some buddies from the Navy. From the PD, too. No luck.

7777777

I've been lighting candles.

7777777

He's out there. We all know it. It's like this giant puzzle. Some pieces are missing though and Ezra hasn't helped any by clamming up. I've been glued to the screen for days now, dropped all pretense at work. We have to find Chris and soon. All I find are dead ends.

7777777

Mary told me about the team's desperation. As if I needed telling. I miss him too. But I promised not to say anything. A promise that is tearing at every fiber of my being. How can that man be so noble, so sure – and so wrong.

I think perhaps I gave that promise under the duress of false pretenses. That would nullify my obligation. I shall have to mull this over. Life appears to be in the balance and I begin to think that free choice, nearly snuffed out by our joint act, needs to be renewed.

7777777

Suck wind, Ella, you bitch. Ezra's safe and you don't even know it. Bitch.

End