Hello and welcome to "Magnificent Seven Dateline," the news show that really has no point but it just keeps going and going.
I had stated that I would be back in one week with Casey Wells, but I wasn't. My network decided to preempt me again. Hmph. I'm back now and I'm ready to air the Casey Interview.
I rode out to Nettie Wells' house and knocked on the door. Nettie answered the door and stuck a rifle in my face.
Nettie: What d'you want?
Me: Bab, I okly wadt to idterview your deese, Casey. Could you boove your gud frob by doze?
Nettie: What?
Me: ::moving the rifle from my nose:: I said, could you move your gun from my nose? I only want to interview your niece, Casey.
Nettie: I think you should interview me.
Me: I'll get to you. You'll be after my Inez interview.
Nettie: I could always put another notch in my Spencer Carbine. ::sticks rifle back in my face::
Me: Doe thank you. ::moving rifle away again:: Is Casey home?
Nettie: Maybe.
Me: Well, let's pretend she is. Where would she be?
Nettie: She'd be milkin' the cows out back.
Me: Thank you, ma'am.
I walked around the house and sure enough, there was Casey, milking a cow.
Me: Hello, Miss Wells. May I interview you?
Casey: Who, me?
Me: Yes, you.
Casey: It couldn't be!
Me: Then who?
Casey: Aunt Nettie stole a cookie from the cookie jar.
Me: What are we doing?
Casey: I thought you were interviewin' me.
Me: Yeah. All right. Let's start off with age. How old are you?
Casey: I'm a year younger than JD.
Me: And how old is that?
Casey: Didn't he tell you?
Me: No.
Casey: Oh.
::silence::
Me: So you're not gonna tell me? ::Casey shakes her head:: Okay. How long have you lived with Nettie?
Casey: Ever since I was six years old.
Me: Where are your parents?
Casey: They caught the fever and passed on.
Me: I'm sorry.
Casey: It's not your fault. It happens.
Me: Did you just say what I think you said?
Casey: What did you think I said?
Me: ::whisper it in her ear::
Casey: I didn't say that!
Me: Oh, good. What one quality attracted you to JD?
Casey: Oh, gosh, I don't know. ::gets all dreamy-eyed:: Everything.
Me: Everything? Like his...flying abilities?
Casey: Especially his flying abilities.
Me: Can you shoot just as good as any man?
Casey: I can shoot better than any man.
Me: Then why couldn't you shoot Guy Royal when he went into your room?
Casey: The gun jammed.
Me: That's no excuse.
Casey: ::narrows her eyes:: I'd like to see you try to un-jam a gun.
Me: Good point. How humiliated were you when you tripped over your skirt and it tore?
Casey: Mortified. I wanted to kill Buck for makin' me go through that.
Me: I noticed you have another dress which you wore when the Nichols' came to town.
Casey: Yeah.
Me: Did you have that dress before the one that tore or did you get it after?
Casey: I got it after I saw JD's expression when he saw me in that first dress.
Me: Did Buck buy you that first dress?
Casey: Yes. It was a used dress he found in the General Store. I'm not surprised that whoever had it sold it. It was awful.
Me: Miss Wells, thank you so much for taking this time to answer my questions.
Casey: You're welcome.
Me: Say hi to JD for me.
Casey: I'll do that.
Me: Bye!
Casey: Wait! Aren't you gonna ask what the Seven are gonna do to come back to the women who love them so true?
Me: Oh no. That question's seen its last day.
Casey: Oh, ask me. Please!
Me: ::reluctantly:: All right. What are they gonna do?
Casey: ::sprays me with cow's milk:: I ain't gonna tell!
Me: ::wiping milk out of my eyes:: That was funny. Real funny.
Casey: Oh, don't be a spoil sport.
Me: You're not kidding. That milk does taste spoiled. Pooey! See ya around, Miss Wells.
Thank you for watching "Magnificent Seven Dateline." Next week we will be joined by Judge Oren Travis. Have a good evening, everybody.
Rebecca
Raving Reporter Eztraordinaire
