Welcome back to "Magnificent Seven Dateline," the series that takes you into the world of the Magnificent Seven. I, Rebecca the Raving Reporter, am back once again to ask the probing questions and to run for my life when I am threatened (and I will inevitably be threatened!).
MAG Network put me on "hiatus" (actually, they cancelled me), but decided to bring me back. Hmm, sounds like another show I watch...
Anyway, I sat in my office many days and nights, wracking my brain for ideas on a great comeback. Well, I couldn't think of anything, so I settled on an interview with Four Corners' newspaper editor, Mary Travis. Grabbing my pen, paper, microphone, cameraman (complete with camera!), and trusty sidekick, Kev the Krazy, I headed back to that town we all know and love.
Kev and I entered The Clarion News and found Mary Travis working with the printing press.
Me: Excuse me, Mrs. Travis, I am Rebecca and I'm back!! Ha ha! I mean, and I'd like to interview you for my show.
Mary: Of course. I thought we'd seen the last of your interviews.
Me: Oh, never! I wouldn't let this beloved interview series go to waste.
Mary: <jokingly> With all those interviews you conducted, you cut in on some of my business.
Me: Well! You cut in on the Ladees' man, so there!
Mary: Excuse me?
Me: Never mind, we'll get to that later. How old are you, Mrs. Travis?
Mary: A lady never reveals her age.
Me: I know, that's why I was hoping you might. <laughing uncontrollably> All right, how long have you lived in Four Corners?
Mary: I've been here since the town began, so about four years.
Me: Where were you born, Mrs. Travis?
Mary: I was born in Boston, but my family moved West when I was twelve years old.
Kev: Can I ask her about Vin?
Me: In a minute, Kev. When did you meet Stephen...Frank...or what the hell was his name?!
Mary: I met Stephen nine years before we moved here. We met in San Francisco.
Me: So who was Frank?
Mary: I don't want to talk about Frank.
Me: Why not?
Mary: I just don't.
Me: Okay. Why...
Kev: I wanna ask the Vin question now!
Me: Hold on a minute.
Kev: You sure are mean.
Me: Mrs. Travis, why don't you just come out and tell Mr. Larabee how you feel about him?
Mary: <smiling nervously> I don't know what you mean.
Me: Sure you do. You love him, but you don't tell him. Why not? Are you afraid of rejection?
Mary: Love him?
Me: Yeah! You can tell me. I'm good at keeping secrets.
Mary: But I...
Me: Admit it! I won't tell anyone.
Mary: I don't...
Me: ADMIT IT!
Mary: ALL RIGHT, I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM!
Me: <gasping> You do?!
Mary: Well...I...uh...
Kev: That won't make the Ladees happy.
Me: I can't believe it! I was only teasing, Mrs. Travis, I had no idea you really do love him. (Not really. I so knew!)
Mary: <blushing> Um...can we change the subject?
Me: Sure. Kev, do you want to ask your question now?
Kev: Huh? Oh! Mary, how are Vin's reading lessons coming along?
Mary: Those lessons are supposed to be a secret.
Me: Oh, Kev and I know Vinny can't read.
Kev: Vinny?!
Me: Kev wants to come to one of the lessons so she can hear Vin recite poetry.
Mary: I suppose that's all right. I'll have to check with Vin first, but I'm sure it will be fine.
Kev: Why did you call him Vinny?!
Me: Kev, she said you can go to his reading lessons.
Kev: Why...YIPPEE! YAHOO! WOO!
Me: Okay, moving on. What everyone wants to know, Mrs. Travis. How can you live in this town with seven gorgeous men and still keep standing? What's your secret?
Mary: I don't have a secret, really. I'm just able to keep my composure when I'm around them. You should see me after they leave a room, though. My goodness! What luck to live in a town with them! But I'm able to keep control of myself for the most part.
Kev: YEA! WOO! YEEHAW!
Mary: Unlike some people.
Me: Oh, don't let Kev fool you. She's very in control...most of the time.
Kev: <dancing around the room> WOO! WOO!
Me: Well...sometimes.
Kev: WOO!
Me: Okay, rarely. But ya gotta love her.
Mary: I've enjoyed answering your questions...I think. I really have to get back to work now.
Me: Okay, but I have one more question. Do you know how the Magnificent Seven are planning on coming back to the women and viewers who love them so true?
Mary: They've asked me not to tell anyone.
Me: Oh well, they told me already anyway.
Mary: They told you they're going to raid the airwaves so they're the only thing on television for 48 straight hours?
Me: No, I was kidding. They didn't tell me anything. Hee hee!
Mary: Did you know that a person could get flattened if they went through a printing press?
Me: Um, no. But that's very interesting. Kev...WE HAVE TO RUN!
What a comeback, eh? I'm getting back into the groove, and I can't wait for my next interview! Join me next week when I will interview JD's true love, Casey Wells. Until then, I'm your miraculously-still-surviving Raving Reporter. Have a great day!
Rebecca
Raving Reporter Eztraordinaire
