Hello, and welcome to the last episode of "Magnificent Seven Dateline." In order to end this show on a good note, I saved Ezra Standish, the gambler of Four Corners, for the last interview.
Kev the Krazy had requested to come along on this interview, but after I informed her that Vin was down bathing in the stream again, she was nowhere to be seen. It's funny how the prospect of Vin with no clothes on can make a Vixen run like a wildfire.
Before going to the saloon, where I knew I'd find Ezra, I went to the bath house to get cleaned up. I had my hair done, got a manicure (it's hard to find someone in this century who does manicures!), and bought a new dress. I headed over to the saloon and found Ezra sitting at a table, gathering up a pile of money. I approached the table.
Me: Good afternoon, Mr. Standish. I'm Rebecca, and I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.
Ezra: Of course, my dear.
Me: Mind if I sit in your lap for this interview?
Ezra: There is an unoccupied chair right behind you.
Me: ::kicking the chair away:: I don't see one. So...do you mind?
Ezra: ::patting his lap:: Make yourself comfortable.
Me: ::sigh:: So, how are you today?
Ezra: Surprisingly well. I just acquired a large sum of money from a very wealthy man.
Me: How old are you, Mr. Standish?
Ezra: I hardly see the importance in the knowledge of how many years I have spent on this earth.
Me: Okay, fine. How has becoming a part of the Magnificent Seven changed your life?
Ezra: I do not believe I have transformed during my time here. I am the same person I have always been.
Me: Yes, but don't you think that by being a part of this group, you've found a...spark of something within yourself that you never knew existed?
Ezra: My, my, aren't you the philosophical one! Yes, I suppose a sliver of goodness within myself has made itself known only recently.
Me: In the beginning, you joined the group for the fame and fortune. Did you ever think it would become such an important part of your life?
Ezra: No, it came as a surprise to me that I actually began to care about this town and its citizens.
Me: Okee-dokee.
Ezra: ::frowns at my use of "okee-dokee"::
Me: I mean, very well! How many coats do you own?
Ezra: I currently have ten coats in my possession. Some I save for special occasions.
Me: Do you own more clothes that the other men of the Seven?
Ezra: Of course! I own more clothes than all of them combined!
Me: How did you get such a large vocabulary?
Ezra: When I was at my aunts' and uncles' houses, there was never anything to do but peruse the dictionary.
Me: Do you think you would be a different person today if Maude had actually raised you?
Ezra: If she had raised me, I might understand the concept of love more clearly.
Me: ::THUD!::
Ezra: Are you all right down there?
Me: ::getting off the floor:: Yes, I'm fine. ::sitting back in Ezra's lap:: Go on, please.
Ezra: I was not raised in a house full of love as most children that I knew. My cousins and I were completely different. They always had their parents to comfort them, I...I did not. Also, I was never able to become acquainted with people because of constantly being on the move. Mine was an unstable childhood.
Me: I could teach you all about love.
Ezra: I'm sure you could.
Me: Wanna go somewhere for your first lesson?
Ezra: Uh...maybe later.
Me: Some people believe there is a spark of interest between you and Mary, and even between you and Inez. Care to tell me how you really feel about these two women?
Ezra: Mrs. Travis is a strong, independent woman. She receives a great deal of my respect, but I would never even think about beginning a romantic relationship with her. And Inez...again, a strong woman, but we would not be compatible.
Me: What kind of woman would you be compatible with? ::whispering:: I'll give you $50 if you say me.
Ezra: Someone who is a lot like you, Miss Rebecca.
Me: ::slipping him a fifty dollar bill:: Thank you, sir!
Ezra: It was not necessary to bribe me. I would have said, a woman who does not let anyone take advantage of her, who knows where she is going in life. I believe you meet those qualifications.
Me: ::THUD!::
Ezra: Is there some kind of gravitational pull down there that you can't resist?
Me: ::getting off the floor AGAIN:: Yeah, that's it. Mr. Standish, thank you for a lovely time. And might I say, your boots are looking very nice today. I got a good look at them during my time on the floor. Before I run for my life, I need to ask you this stupid question that's gotten me in trouble too many times.
Ezra: What is it?
Me: What do you plan on doing to come back to the women and BrigaDears who love you so true?
Ezra: That is confidential.
Me: Yeah, so now you're going to tell me the secret and threaten me so I won't go blabbing about it to anyone else.
Ezra: No, being in the gambling profession, I've learned to let nothing slip by. Not even the secret that we will ride to TNT and beg and plead to be put on the air. ::his derringer suddenly pops into his hand::
Me: I'm glad you didn't tell me.
Ezra: I am also pleased I did not reveal the secret. Now, how about my first lesson in love?
Me: Well...if you insist. ;-)
And there you have it, my entire series of interviews with the Magnificent Seven. I hope you've enjoyed my program. So long, and thank you for tuning in.
Signing off,
Rebecca
Raving Reporter Eztraordinaire
