Good morning, and welcome to this special edition of "Magnificent Seven Dateline." Today, we will be speaking with Buck Wilmington, the scoundrel of the Mag7, and we will uncover this secret magnetism that he is so well known for. Come with me, your rAving reporter Rebecca, as I delve into the mind of Buck Wilmington.
ANNOUNCER: Kevira the Krazy will not be seen today, as she is still latched on to Vin Tanner and won't allow him to put a shirt on.
I was traveling toward the quaint town of Four Corners, pondering on how lucky I was to have interviewed two of the seven men, when what to my wandering eyes should appear, but a man with a mustache riding a horse.
Me: Mr. Wilmington! Mr. Wilmington, would you be so kind as to answer a few questions for me?
Buck: Well, well, well. If it ain't that purty little reporter girl.
Me: ::blushing:: Oh, well, I don't know about pretty, but okay.
Buck: ::getting off his horse:: I'd be happy to oblige and answer your questions. ::seating himself on a nearby boulder:: You just come and sit in Buck's lap.
Me: ::giggling:: Okay. Well hello there. Tell me, Mr. Wilmington, where do you think your animal magnetism comes from?
Buck: It's a curse. I was born with it and I just have to live with it.
Me: How old are you, sir?
Buck: Age doesn't matter when it comes to love, darlin'.
Me: Well, that's not what I meant, but all right.
Buck: Are you comfortable?
Me: I'm the one asking questions here! Ahem. Mr. Wilmington, if it weren't for that ferocious child on the wagon train, who do you think would have won that woman's charms? You or Ezra?
Buck: Me, of course. It's that animal magnetism. She would have been putty in my hands.
Me: How did you get such a lovely tan line?
Buck: Excuse me?
Me: You know, your tan line, on your...well...you know!
Buck: Oh! That tan line! Well, just between you and me, sometimes I go out and chop firewood wearing nothing but my briefs.
Me: ::blushing again:: Oh my! So you prefer briefs to boxers?
Buck: Only when I'm out choppin' firewood. Otherwise I go au naturel.
Me: Oops! Sorry for falling off your lap there. Let me just slide right back on up there. So right now you're...
Buck: Goin' commando!
Me: Oh my, is it hot out here?
Buck: It's gettin' there.
Me: One more question, Mr. Wilmington. What do you plan on doing to come back to the women and Babes who love you so true?
Buck: It's a secret that we're gonna break every candid camera out in that wide world.
Me: Okay, now you told me the secret. And it's different from what Chris and Vin told me.
Buck: Honey, I didn't tell you no secret.
Me: Yes, you did, sir.
Buck: ::reaching for his gun:: Ain't this gun purty?
Me: Sure is. And you know, I just forgot what we were talking about!
And so that concludes my interview with Buck Wilmington. Tune in later when we will meditate on the meaning of life with Josiah Sanchez. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.
Rebecca
Now RAVING Reporter Eztraordinaire
