In Sickness and in Health

by Luna Dey and Suzy B.

Part of the Just When You Thought... collection.

Author’s Note: Once again this is what happens at 2:00 in the morning when at least one of you is getting a bit punchy. It is definitely a PWP piece, based solely on an overheard conversation between Buck and Nathan.

Disclaimer: I do not own them. They are the property of MGM, Mirisch, and Trilogy Entertainment; however, if they ever come up for sale, I will be in the front row at the auction.

Feedback: Feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated, but no flames please.

Chris turned and looked at Vin when they hard the sound of voices in the conference room the group used for team meetings. It was situated so that it could be entered from both the bullpen and Chris's office. The team leader set down his sandwich and stood up. "You got any idea who'd be in there? I thought everyone was going out for lunch."

"They were, but I reckon some could have changed their minds. We did," Vin pointed out as he too rose and followed Chris to the conference room door.

"Nate, maybe this ain't such a good idea doin' this here. Someone might come in."

"They all went to lunch, so there's enough time. I promise I'll make it quick."


"Buck, either you drop your pants, or I'll do it for you."

"Let go. I'll do it myself. I just feel kinda funny doin' this right here in the office. Wouldn't it be better in the…."

"No, Buck. There isn't time to go lookin' for someplace more private. This won't take long. Now push those pants down and lean over the table so we can get on with it."

"Nate, it's gonna hurt. It always does. Oh no….. you ain't stickin' that in me, it’s just too big."

Outside the door Chris and Vin glanced at each other and Vin's eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline. "Uh….you think we should…?" He nodded toward the door. He saw Chris shake his head no and hoped he knew what he was doing by not interrupting the two in the adjoining room.

"It isn't that big and you know it. Besides it isn't like this is the first time."

"Just try to be easy about it, okay?"

"I always am, now just relax…. quit tensin' up… the more you tense up the more it's gonna hurt."

"Yeah, well it's easy for you to say relax, you ain't the one gettin' that stuck in your ass. OW!! Shit, Nate that hurts…. hssssssss!!!!"

"Hold still. If you make me pull it out, I just gotta put it back in again."

"What makes you think I want that red hot poker stuck back in my butt hhmmm? OW!!"

"Well as I see it, since I got you in the right position, I can't see you have much choice about it."

"Damn, I'd love to have you caught with your pants around your knees and your bare ass stickin' in the air."

"You don't have nothin' to give me, so I don't see that happenin'. Besides, you asked for this."

"Don't 'spose I can plead ignorance? Damn, Nate, how much more you got to put in there? You got me burnin' like my ass is on fire."

"It will only burn for a little while, but I gotta push it in slow or it'll really hurt ya."

Out in the bullpen the remainder of Team Seven came back in slightly ahead of schedule. It was amazing how fast you could get through lunch if Buck wasn't there to keep flirting with all the waitresses. They all headed to their respective desks, but JD was stopped in his tracks by a familiar voice coming from the closed conference room.

"Just put it in quick will ya?"

"I'm tellin' ya, if I try to put it all in at once it is gonna hurt like hell."

"I'm tellin' you… if it hurts much more you can just take it out and forget it."

"Now, Buck….you know once it's all in it's gonna start feelin' real good, real fast."

JD turned and looked at his companions. "Uh…. Josiah…."

"Yes, son… You alright, JD? You look a bit sick all of a sudden. Wonder if Nathan is back yet. He might have something to make you feel better."

"Uhhhh… well.. uummm…."

Josiah went over to the youngest member of the team and started to ask him what was wrong when he heard the voices coming from the conference room. JD's desk was the closest to the closed door, but the door wasn't filtering out too much of the sound from within.

"Well, it better start feelin' good, because right now it hurts and burns like hell."

"There now, all in… just stay still a minute and you'll get used to it and it won't burn any more."

"OW!! Damn it hurts almost as much comin' out as it does goin' in."

Josiah's jaw dropped and he turned to look back at Ezra, who was watching the pair with interest and straining to listen as he joined them. Just as the big man turned back toward JD he saw the younger man reaching for the doorknob. He grabbed JD and pulled him away from the door a few feet, and then said quietly to him. "Don't go doin' that, son."

"But, it sounds like Buck's hurtin'."

"Mr. Dunne," Ezra explained as he joined them, "this is one time I think it would be prudent to heed Mr. Sanchez's warning."

"But…." His attention was drawn to the voices again.

"How about lettin' me rub that for you?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"Sure… You'll feel better and it will help you relax. Now, you be sure to tell me when I find just the right spot."

"Hey, Nate…. You were right."

"Right about what?"

"I't's startin' to feel a lot better. Oh…yeah… startin' to feel reeeeal good."

Three men gathered close to the door in the bullpen, each hanging on every sound coming from the closed room.

"Josiah," JD whispered. "Uh….they doin' what it sounds like they're doin'?"

"Sure does sound like it doesn't it? Well, you know Buck…. he is just one giant walking male hormone. Guess I should have seen this coming before now though." Sanchez sighed when he realized he had apparently missed any signs there might have been.

"Seen what comin'? You mean you think they might… that they… well… they…."

"Mr. Dunne, you are going somewhere with this line of though, correct?" Ezra had tried to be patient with the younger man's stammering, but enough was enough.

"You tryin' to say they might be a …a… 'couple'?" He turned to stare at the closed door.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh, yeah………you got good hands, Nate. You can rub a little harder….ohhh… yesssss… right there!"

Ezra patted JD on the shoulder. "Now, Mr. Dunne, you really should not be so shocked, not in this day and age. This type of thing is quite common now."

"That's true, and Nathan is a handsome man, well built, and uuhhh…. well 'gifted' where it counts. It isn't any wonder Buck got interested in that."

"Mr. Sanchez, just how is it that you have come by this knowledge?"

Josiah blushed slightly and glanced at his two colleagues. "I…. well… uhhh… he's just a friend, Ezra. Don't go trying to make something out of it."

In Chris's office two ears were pressed to the conference room door so the men they were attached to wouldn't miss a thing going on in that other room. "Chris, you believin' this? I mean who would have thought Buck…"

"I'm not so surprised about Buck, kinda wondered sometimes about him, but Nathan, that's a surprise." Larabee signaled to Vin to keep quiet again so he could listen.

"Feelin' good now? Yeah… I told you it would. Won't be much longer now, but I just gotta do it harder?"

"Oooh yeeeaahh…harder…. don't stop… feels soooo good."


Five eavesdroppers snapped to attention at the sound of the slap from inside the room.

"Son-of-a-bitch!!" Buck complained loudly.

Two doors were thrown open and five ATF agents barreled into the small room, all intent on protecting one of their own. Five ATF agents skidded to a stop at the sight that greeted them. They glanced across the room at each other and burst out laughing when they saw Buck slap the tabletop and groan. "Damn, Nathan, that hurts."

Buck looked up from where he lay stretched out on top of the conference table with the back of his shirt pulled up and his pants pulled up but his belt loosened. Nathan's med kit was still open on the table with the used syringe next to it, and Nathan was busy firmly kneading the knotted muscles in Buck's back. "Hey Pards! You're all back early."