Vin sat in the rocking chair and stared out the bay window. The white opaque drapes camouflaged the fact that the window looked out onto Nettie's narrow driveway and the backside of his apartment building. He still the book of antiques in his hands. Hugging Nettie was one of the best things Vin had ever done; running over to her was turning out to be one of the stupidest. By the time he'd slid through the fence again and followed her up her back staircase to set himself into one of the upholstered rockers in her dining room, his back felt like he'd been stabbed and the knife was still in there.He heard Nettie come into the room, and felt her hand settle warm on his forehead.
"Honey, are you all right? You're as white as those drapes."
"My back hurts is all."
"Oh honey, your spine. I shouldn't have hugged you so hard."
"No Nettie, believe me – it was worth it."
She sat in the rocking chair opposite Vin and asked, "So tell me, how big a fool have I been?"
"No bigger'n usual I reckon." Vin tried hard not to smile but he couldn't stop it. He could tell by Nettie's expression that she caught on pretty fast to his jibe. "I hate to ask how big a fool I been."
"It wouldn't be fair to call you a fool after all you've been through honey. You were hurt and you were in pain. A man in that condition has got the right to react anyway he needs to."
"Chris said something just like that too." Vin said, then thought, "Well, maybe you don't like being compared to Chris Larabee."
Nettie considered it. "I guess me and Chris are a lot alike. Both stubborn, both have to be right all the time. But I never knew a man who stood up for his friends as strong as he does. I wish I had more of that in me. He's a good man."
+ + + + + + +
"Christopher Larabee, you touch that phone one more time and I'm taking it away from you." Mary said from behind her paper. They were on the deck in back. "It's not broken. The reason it's not ringing is because Vin isn't calling. Josiah said he sounded fine."
"I'm not checking the phone."
"Oh?" Mary looked around her paper at the cell phone in Chris' hand. "Are you keeping it from getting lost?"
Chris set it down on the table next to his Adirondack chair and sighed.
"I just want to be sure he's OK."
"Are you going to be this overprotective when Billy moves away from home?"
"Billy is never moving away from home." Chris told her flatly. Now Mary sighed and went back to reading her paper.
"Imagine what you'd be like if we'd had a girl."
+ + + + + + +
Vin was surprised to realize he had dozed off in Nettie's rocking chair. He woke up, covered with a thin blanket, and with a slightly stiff neck. Nettie sat across from him, reading the book on antique furniture.
"How long since you've gotten any rest?" she asked, when she saw he was awake.
"Sometimes it feels like I don't do anything but sleep."
"Sleep is different from rest. You can sleep and get no rest."
Vin considered her remark and knew she was right.
"I really couldn't tell you Nettie. Probably before all this happened.
"And when was the last time you had something to eat?"
"Ohhh – a hundred years ago I think."
"Well, you'll eat something now." Nettie informed him, and Vin realized he was grateful for her insistence.
"Okay…" He started to get up, but she pushed him back down again.
"You just stay there and rest honey. I'll bring it in." So he shut his eyes and rested his head back against the rocker. In a few minutes, he heard her come back in the room. When he opened his eyes, he saw that she carried two old TV tables. She set one up next to each rocker at the bay window. "I have herbal tea, I hope that's okay?"
"Yeah, I like herbal tea." Even to his own ears, Vin's voice was barely breath. "Y'sure I can't help you?"
"You can help me by staying in this chair so I don't have to pick you up off the floor." Nettie told him, punctuating her gentle chide with another hug. "Honey I'm so glad to have you back, I can't even tell you…"
Vin leaned into her embrace again, with no reservation.
"Me too Nettie."
+ + + + + + +
In a little while, Nettie had them both set up with turkey sandwiches, slices of her coffee cake, and herbal tea. Vin took a bite and drank some tea, then looked up as if something had suddenly occurred to him.
"Lou said Synta was gonna bring me over some lunch. I should let her know I'm not at my place."
"I'll call her after awhile. Don't worry about that." Vin nodded his thanks.
"Lou was real grateful I took care of Maria that day. I think I could ask him to kill someone for me and he'd do it. I think he'd only have to think I wanted somebody dead and he'd do it."
"That doesn't surprise me. Fathers can be awful particular about their daughters."
"I wonder what he'd think if he knew…" Vin's voice trailed off like he was talking to himself. Nettie figured what he was talking about.
"Not everybody is codgy as me honey. I know Lou and Synta aim to take care of you, and I expect they'd only take more care of you if they knew how bad you'd been hurt."
"Well, I hope I never have to find out. Too many people know already what happened to me."
He chewed awhile on a bite of sandwich and Nettie watched him over her own meal.
"I'm glad I know." She told him. "I know I've been a fool this past week, but now that I'm in my right mind again, I'm glad I know. I want to be able to help you. I want to know, when you're all right, that you truly are all right."
Vin didn't answer right away. He fidgeted with his napkin a bit and didn't look at Nettie. Then he nodded and finished his lunch. Soon after he was asleep again in the chair.
"Turkey sandwiches and chamomile tea." Nettie smiled to herself as she cleared the dishes. "Puts him to sleep everytime."
ONE HUNDREED
While Vin slept in the upholstered rocking chair, with two throw pillows under his head and a light blanket over his lap, Nettie sat in the opposite chair with her knitting. She'd started making Vin a sweater earlier that summer, intending to make it a Christmas present, but she hadn't worked on it during the hot weather. She took it out again now, it made her feel like she was doing something for Vin, when this past week it seemed like she hadn't done anything but cause him pain.She watched him sleep, watched his deep, even breathing. There were a lot of things she liked about men, and one thing that she liked was to watch a man she loved sleep. And heaven knew this man had earned it. She'd called Maria's Mom to let her know Vin wasn't at his apartment; there was nothing else to do but let Vin sleep and feed him again when he woke up.
Outside the dining room windows, the wind picked up and rain clouds crowded overhead, making the early afternoon look like early evening. Nettie considered closing the windows, but Vin didn't stir and she didn't want to risk waking him. She was so happy to have him back that if he never left her house again, that would be perfectly fine.
+ + + + + + +
"He doesn't answer." Chris stood in the kitchen doorway and issued his challenge to Mary as she sat at the kitchen table drinking lemonade and reading the paper.
"Maybe he's doing laundry."
"He took clean clothes home."
"Maybe he's in the bathroom."
"For how long?"
"What's the longest you've ever been in the bathroom?" Mary asked. Chris didn't answer, except to scowl at her. "Maybe he went for a walk."
"I don't think he'd do that, not yet. Just going to his apartment was hard for him. He wouldn't go for a walk. Anyway, the weather's picking up."
"Wasn't he going over to Josiah's? Doesn't he have a bad sink?"
"Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Josiah said Vin was planning on going over for Mass and dinner. All right."
Then the phone rang and Chris picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Chris, it's Josiah. Have you talked with Vin? He was supposed to come over but he hasn't shown up and I can't get hold of him."
+ + + + + + +
When Vin woke up in Nettie's chair, he could tell that he'd slept deeply and for a long time. His body felt heavy and his mind felt sluggish. He tensed and stretched his muscles, and rearranged himself in the chair, not wanting to get up just yet. He could hear Nettie in the kitchen behind him, doing dishes from the sound of it.
He wondered what time it was.
He tried to call to her but his mouth was too dry. He pulled himself out of the chair and tried to pull himself upright and walk into the kitchen without shuffling.
"Well, somebody had himself a nice long sleep." Nettie shut off the water and dried her hands on her bib apron. She walked over to Vin. "How do you feel honey?"
"I'm fine Nettie. Thirsty, but fine. Think I could have some water?"
"Of course honey. You're not coming down with anything, are you?" She felt his forehead.
"I don't think so. Just thirsty."
"Are you sure? Maybe you should take some Tylenol anyway." She turned away and got Vin a glass of water.
"Nettie, really. I'm on too many painkillers now, I'd be afraid to take anything else. Water'll do me. Thanks."
He took the glass from her and sat at her kitchen table to drink it. He'd forgotten what it felt like to have such freedom with her, to be as comfortable in her house as in his own.
"I haven't started dinner yet, but I can get you something if you're hungry."
"I'm fine Nettie. I was thinking -." Though the thought had just occurred to him. " - why don't you let me take you to dinner? Someplace nice, not just Wendy's."
"Oh honey, that's sweet of you, but I want to make you a nice dinner here."
Before Vin could answer, Nettie's phone rang and she answered it.
"Hello? Oh hi! Oh dear, is she all right? That's good. Of course, I'll be over in a minute."
She hung up and turned to Vin with a sigh. "Well, it looks like neither of us will get to buy dinner tonight honey. That was Mrs. Millette. Usually her granddaughter comes over to get her dinner and help her get ready for bed. But her baby is sick and she can't make it. So I'm going over to help her."
"Is the baby all right?"
"Oh yes, she's teething and has an earache. Normal baby things. I hate to leave you honey. You can stay here and I'll come back as soon as Mrs. Millette is set for the night."
"Thanks Nettie, but I think I'll head back to my place. Mary sent me home with a lot of clean laundry to put away. Maybe we can get ice cream later?"
"That'll be fine dear. I'll call you as soon as I'm home."
+ + + + + + +
Vin walked Nettie to Mrs. Millette's house and then headed back to his apartment. He still felt tired and slow, and he tried to remember if he had anything in his fridge he could make for dinner. In a pinch, he figured he could have a peanut butter sandwich and some chocolate milk. There had to be something in the freezer though, he always stocked up on TV dinners whenever the grocery store had a sale.
But then he thought, what the heck, why not go to Inez's for dinner? She had booths where he could sit and not be seen. He'd just run up to his apartment and grab his jacket in case it started to rain, and drive over.
When he got back into his apartment, Vin remembered that he was supposed to have gone over to Josiah's to fix his sink. Before he could pick up the phone though, there was a pounding on his door that sounded like Lou in a really bad mood.
A quick look through his peep hole showed Chris, and as he was opening the door, Vin though he could invite Chris to Inez's place. He'd only just opened his door and hadn't said anything yet when Chris started in on him.
"Where the hell have you been? I called you, Josiah called you. Nobody could find you, nobody knew where you were. Where the hell have you been?"
"I've been at Nettie's."
"All day?" Chris demanded.
"Well, yeah. I guess. Since before lunch."
Chris looked ready to launch another attack, then his expression changed to completely baffled and he asked, "How'd that happen?"
"It's kind of a long story." Vin said, thinking of the near misses he and Nettie had discussed. "I was going over to Inez's place, get some dinner. You want to come with? I'm buying."
"I - uh - well - yeah." Chris managed to say. He seemed even more baffled. "I think I want to hear this story."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra felt like he was moving in slow motion as he closed down his computer, locked his briefcase and shut off his desk lamp. Being a salaried employee of the University had benefits and drawbacks. One particular drawback was that, no matter how many hours one put in on the job, one did not accrue overtime: one full Saturday spent toiling over University matters had earned Ezra no more than the beginnings of another migraine and an "In" basket full of more work he would have to undertake first thing Monday morning. Expecting a too bright, overly warm afternoon to greet him right out of the building, Ezra was surprised to find low gray clouds and a chill wind. Unpleasant weather couldn't be far behind, so he chose the most direct route to his car.
"Ezra - did you get stuck working today too?" Nathan called to Ezra as they both headed for the staff parking lot.
"I must ask you never to use the word `work' in my presence again."
Ezra said. "Even if I achieve centenarian status."
Nathan laughed and shook his head.
"Why don't you join Rain and me at Inez's? You look like you could use a night out."
Ezra didn't lose any time considering the invitation. "Thank you Dr. Jackson. I believe I shall."
+ + + + + + +
JD hung around Casey's market, wanting to talk with her, until she insisted he leave and let her work in peace.
"I'll wait for you then, out in my car. When's your next break?"
"JD! I need to work. We're short-handed enough with Peggy being out sick. Can't it wait?" Casey asked as she stacked ears of corn into the display case.
"Well – I – it's kinda -." JD scanned the area around them. This was a popular market and a busy day, and he couldn't see broaching the topic in public. "I guess it could. I – I'll wait for you and drive you home."
"What?" Casey looked at him like he was crazy. "I don't get off work for hours. Anyway, I have my car. Why do you want to drive me home?" "Uh – I - well -."
Before JD could stammer out some answer to that, Casey shook her head and went on with her stacking.
"Buy me dinner tonight JD. Meet me at Inez's place after work."
ONE-HUNDRED-ONE
Two men met at Inez's restaurant; Ezra and JD pulled into the parking lot at the same time and once the greetings were over and explanations given, they walked together to the door in an awkward silence.A little early for the dinner crowd, the restaurant was empty as they walked in and sat together at a small table in the middle of the room. They were silent as the waitress distributed menus and subdued as she passed them glasses of water.
Finally when she was gone and no one was still saying anything, Ezra turned to JD,
"And how was your day Mr. Dunne?"
"I just don't get it." JD blurted.
After heaving a patient yet clearly annoyed sigh, Ezra asked, "'Get' what?"
"You know - you know."
"No, I confess I don't. Perhaps you could enlighten me."
"Vin."
Ezra waited a beat but JD said nothing else.
"As though that one word conveys all required information."
"You know - Vin - you know."
Ezra swallowed and then placed his hands on the table as he calmly and precisely said,
"Mr. Dunne I find myself presented with two options. I can either relocate my person to another, solitary, table. Or I can bash you on the head with my water glass. Which do you prefer?"
JD was confused.
"What'd I say?"
"Nothing! That's the problem!"
"Vin - you know - how - I just don't -." With his face growing redder and his stammer getting worse, JD nearly choked on his confusion. "I still just don't see how it could happen."
Ezra sat back in his chair in aggravation. "Truly JD, I am not going to rehash this with you. What either of us believes is the cause or compulsion or coincidence which led to the intrusion upon Mr. Tanner's person -."
"No, no. I don't mean -." JD lowered his voice, though the restaurant was still empty. "I don't mean why it happened. Just - just - I mean - how - if - you know - I mean -."
To Ezra's relief, the doors opened and Nathan and Rain came in. They joined Ezra and JD at their table.
"What's going on?" Nathan asked, after the waitress had given them menus and glasses of water.
"Mr. Dunne was just expressing his confusion over the mechanics of sexual assault." Ezra said.
"I was not!" JD insisted. "I know how - what - how - it - happens. But - I mean - how - I mean -."
Nathan cut him off. "JD - when a man is outnumbered three to one, especially when those three are bigger than he is and they catch him by surprise…"
"No - that's not -."
"What difference does it make anyway?" Rain asked. "It's over and done with. Vin's back to work and getting on with his life -."
Suddenly Inez appeared at their table, breathing fire and as mad as hell.
"Shut up!" she ordered. "Shut up all of you!" Her eyes went to the door and the four of them looked where she was looking.
There stood Vin.
Chris was at his side and was about to take a step forward but Vin put his hand out to stop him and went himself to the table. He made eye contact with each one of them and when he spoke, his voice was deadly calm.
"You know, the first time I was raped - at least it was by strangers."
Then he turned and left the restaurant, brushing past Chris who continued to stare at the four like he wanted to set them on fire.
"You all be at work on Monday." He said. Then he followed Vin out the front door.
"I can't believe you're all discussing it like this." Inez snapped. "What about confidentiality? What about friendship and compassion?"
"We're just trying to make sense of it..." JD offered, a trifle hesitantly.
"Make sense of what?" she demanded. "Who said it was your place to make sense of it?"
"When something as appalling as sexual assault is perpetrated upon a person of close acquaintance..." Ezra said. "I suppose it's only natural to ponder the ramifications..."
"We're just - I just don't -" JD tried to justify the conversation. "I still don't understand how he could just LET it happen..."
"Why do you think he let it happen?" Nathan asked, and repeated. "There were three of them, and only one of Vin, and he's not a big guy. He couldn't help that they overpowered him."
"Yeah - but - I mean -" JD blushed an even darker red. "I mean - if a person just keeps moving - you know - how are they gonna - you know - get it in?"
Inez sighed loudly and walked to the bar. She came back with a metal edged ruler and a tumbler. She shoved the ruler at JD.
"OK - here. You try and get the ruler in this glass. I'll move it, and you try to get me."
"Inez - I don't know - I wouldn't want -"
"Just do it!" Inez demanded. "Say 'go'."
"Well - um - go."
Half-heartedly at first, JD tried to get the end of the ruler into the opening of the tumbler while Inez moved it up and down and side to side. After a few moments, he tried in earnest, yet Inez was easily able to avoid him.
"See what I mean?" he finally asked, giving up the task. "It can't be done."
Inez appeared to be quite puzzled and disappointed.
"Let me try." she said. The anger was gone, replaced with something like resignation.
"OK." JD gave her the ruler and picked up the glass.
"Go." Even as she said it, Inez brought the sharp edge of the ruler down on JD's hand. He shouted in surprise and dropped the glass as a long bloody welt sprang up. He grabbed his hand and could only watch Inez shove the ruler in and out of the abandoned glass. All the while she stared into JD's eyes.
"Go ahead, defend your manhood." she goaded him. "Try and stop me. Aren't you going to do anything? Are you just going to sit there and take it? Just let me do whatever I want?"
"It's just a glass..." JD snarled at her. Nathan had come to his side to examine the gash.
"Is it?" Inez asked. "Just a glass? You'll never look at this glass the same way again. You'll never look at each other the same way."
She kept up her assault, in and out.
"I dare you JD - try and stop me. Any of you. Go ahead and try to keep me from violating you." In and out, in and out. She moved the ruler from the empty tumbler to the closest glass of water.
"Now see here -" Ezra sputtered as his beverage was violated.
"WHAT?" Inez whirled on him, brandishing the ruler. "Are you trying to stop me?" but all Ezra could do was lower his eyes. So Inez made her way around the table, bringing the ruler down into everyone's glass. "Nobody is going to try and stop me? Rain?"
When she was done, Inez held up her sopping, dripping ruler and looked at each one in turn.
"Welcome to the Zeroes." she spat at them. "Now get out - I don't care if none of you ever set foot in here again."
ONE HUNDRED TWO
Chris followed Vin into the parking lot, so angry that if a bus hit him right now, the bus would lose. He couldn't even comprehend how angry he was, he was so angry. Monday couldn't come soon enough - he'd have their licenses, their jobs and their heads. Anything left after that would just be smoke and ash.He hurried to catch up with Vin, worried what that little confrontation would be doing to his state of mind. He found Vin leaning back against the hood of his truck and - of all things - laughing to himself.
"What the hell are you laughing at?"
"Honestly Chris, I have no idea. I guess it was either that or slash their tires."
"You keep laughing then, I'll start slashing."
"They're not worth it. I've been worried all this time what people would think of me, what they would think of me." He gestured over his shoulder back to the restaurant. "It just occurred to me now, why should I worry what people like that think? If that's how they are, how they truly are, if that's how they react to a friend in trouble, they're not worth the spit it would take to put out the match you want to use to burn them to the ground."
"You should be angry." Chris said. "You could have their medical licenses for that."
Vin rubbed his eyes and folded his arms across his chest.
"I am angry. I guess maybe I'm tired too. Monday I may just drop a dime on 'em, anonymously mind you. I've seen one or two corners cut in the clinic and I know from working at the fast food place, nothing sets the heart racing like suits coming up the sidewalk."
"If you can get them in trouble with Travis, that'll be a sight to behold." Chris said. Vin smiled a tired smile but didn't answer. "C'mon home with me Vin and get some dinner."
"No, I think I'll head over to Josiah's. I'll fix his sink and have dinner with him. If I leave now, I'll be in time for Mass. Me n'Nettie are going for ice cream later."
"If the two of you can manage to both be at the same place at the same time."
"Yeah." Vin smiled again. "Go on home Chris, have some private time with your family for the first time in a week. I'll call you later, let you know I'm OK."
"All right."
+ + + + + + +
"What do you think Chris is gonna do to us?" JD asked Ezra as the four of them were all but physically muscled out of Inez's restaurant. The little group stopped instinctively as one when they saw Chris' truck just pulling out of the parking lot, not moving again until he was out of sight.
"Imagine if you will JD, the most horrific, blood curdling, mind-numbing, life-altering, career-ending, body-shattering, expensive catastrophe that could befall you." Ezra said.
"Yeah...?"
"Now imagine that whatever Chris does to you, you wish it had been that instead."
"Uh oh."
"Indeed."
Four people went to three cars and found six flat tires.
"Indeed." Ezra said again.
+ + + + + + +
Vin sat at Josiah's kitchen table and accepted the glass of ice water he set in front of him. The sink was fixed and the two men only waited dinner, paella, cooking in the wok on the ancient stove. Vin had told Josiah about the scene at the restaurant.
"I never wanted anybody to know what happened to me, I just figured from the get-go that nobody would understand or care or like me anymore. But I gotta say, it still hurts that that turned out to be the case."
"You realize they're scared." Josiah said.
"If they weren't scared before, they better be now. When Chris gets mad, he gets mad."
"I'm not talking about them being afraid of Chris. They're afraid of things that are beyond their control, things they probably aren't even aware they're afraid of."
"You mean like what happened to me?"
"Even more subtle than that. Rain thinks you should be over the emotional trauma. To me that says that she fears not always being in complete control, of herself, of her situation. Nathan thinks a person can only be overpowered by someone stronger, so he fears being physically weak. JD too. If you 'let' it happen, then he thinks all he has to do to be safe in this world is not 'let' bad things happen to him."
"What about Ezra?"
"Well, Ezra can be a bit more complicated." Josiah allowed.
"Sometimes, from things Chris says, it sounds like maybe Ezra's worried about me. But when we see each other, it's like he wishes we didn't."
"Of all of us, I think Ezra fears being vulnerable the most. How that plays into what he thinks about your attack, I'm not sure. Except that somehow showing concern for you makes him more vulnerable."
"He thinks nobody cares about him." Vin said. He wasn't sure where that sudden observation came from. "His Mom sure don't act like she cares about him. Maybe he's afraid of backing the wrong horse."
Vin drank some ice water and thought about things a little while, while Josiah went to the stove and stirred the paella.
"I read this story a long time ago." Vin said. "Musta been National Geographic. These two explorers or scientists were driving across the plains in Africa and they come upon a herd of elephants crossing the road. So they stopped and waited and when the herd had crossed they started driving again.
"Suddenly this baby elephant shows up on the wrong side of the road, on the side away from the herd, and starts trumpeting that he's in trouble. The whole herd turned as one and stormed back to the road. One big old bull elephant stood there staring down the car while the ladies of the herd gathered that baby up where he belonged and marched on their way again. And that bull stood there blocking the road until the last of the herd was out of sight before he walked away himself and let the car go on."
Josiah set two plates of food on the table and took his seat.
"Which do you want to be Vin? The youngster or the old bull?"
"Both I guess." Vin said. "Depending what else is going on."
"In either case, remember - that youngster had to let his family know he was in trouble."
"Yeah."
Josiah said the Grace, and they started eating.
"My Dad - I love my Dad and I miss him and I think about him every day, but he raised me that the only thing worse than asking for help is needing help in the first place. I mean, anybody else can need help and that's OK and I should help them. But I shouldn't need help. That's a hard thing to get over."
"I can imagine it is."
"Just when I think I'm comfortable with somebody, being friends with somebody, one little thing can happen and I feel like I'm taking advantage." Having said that, Vin squinted in confusion and asked,
"How'd we get here from talking about what happened in the restaurant?"
"Sometimes God writes straight with crooked lines."
"Meaning what?"
"Meaning -." Josiah shrugged. "Talk about whatever you need to talk about. Having one traumatic thing happen to you can stir up other things in your life that you need to address. We're all of us complicated people."
"Yeah."
They ate for awhile and Josiah had seconds and as he sat down again he asked,
"Do you feel that way with me Vin? That you're taking advantage of me?"
"Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. I feel that way with Chris, and Nettie even before this week. Anybody I spend more than work time with. It's nothing you do or say, nothing you don't do or say. Just sometimes, yeah. I was doing OK I guess until I all of a sudden needed so much help this past week."
"And it wouldn't do any good to tell you that that's never the case, would it?"
"Nope. It's not something that can be told, it's something that needs to be felt. And I won't let myself feel it."
"But you know I'm going to tell it to you anyway, right?"
Vin sighed, a sigh of mock resignation.
"Yes, Josiah."
"Good. And I'm going to tell you one more thing - 'taking advantage' is something friends do. I'm taking advantage of your plumbing skills to get my sink fixed, I take advantage of you being at Mass in the morning so you can be my altar server. Nettie takes advantage of you to mow her lawn and fix her car. Chris takes advantage of you to watch Cowboy when they go out of town or help him build his deck."
"I don't mind doing that." Vin protested. "I like doing that. I like helping out. That's not taking advantage, that's - that's being needed."
"Exactly." Josiah said.
ONE HUNDRED THREE
Stars hung in the high darkening sky as Vin parked his truck in the apartment parking lot and walked to the front of the building. Nettie's house was dark so he thought she must still be at Mrs. Millette's. Instead of going up to his apartment, he wandered over to her house and sat on her top step to wait for her.He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. Dinner with Josiah had made him feel better, but the scene at the restaurant still stung at the back of his skull. Like he told Josiah, even though he'd expected that kind of reaction from people, it hurt to have it come from his friends.
Well, who needed friends like that anyway?
Muffled footsteps across the lawn told him Nettie was there, but he didn't lift his head. He felt the stairs give slightly as she climbed up to sit next to him, then she slipped her arm around his.
"Are you okay?"
"I've decided..." he said, lifting his head finally. "That I'm gonna have ice cream every single day, from now 'til the end of summer."
"And that's a lofty goal." Nettie agreed. "But it doesn't answer my question, does it?"
"I'm okay. I'm tired. I went to Mass and had dinner at Josiah's and fixed his sink for him. I'm just tired." He didn't know why he wasn't telling her what happened at the restaurant, except that he was just too tired to get the words out.
"Too tired for ice cream?"
"Oh no, never too tired for that! 'Sides, I haven't had any yet today and I don't want to ruin my stretch 'fore I even start it."
"Well come on back in the house then and I'll dish us up some Rocky Road and real whipped cream. How does that sound?"
"Sounds wonderful Nettie." But he couldn't summon the energy to stir off the step.
"What's wrong honey? This is more than just tired."
He couldn't answer her, he only leaned close to her and pressed his head against hers. Nettie didn't ask any more of him, she only let him rest there against her, breathing in the soft, warm air. Earlier it'd seemed like it might storm, but now the early evening was still and comforting, the way it had been when he'd sit out summer nights on the front steps with his Dad.
"I love you." He said, without thinking. He'd never said that to her before.
"I love you honey. I love you and I'll thrash anybody who dares hurt you."
That made Vin laugh, thinking of the thrashing she might be persuaded to give JD if she knew everything.
"I'm gonna hold you to that Nettie."
+ + + + + + +
JD's evening got worse and worse. Casey called him from Inez's when he wasn't there to meet her. She got annoyed when he said he couldn't meet her there, then got mad when he wouldn't tell her why he couldn't meet her there. She got even madder when he couldn't tell her why he wouldn't tell her why he couldn't meet her there. She said fine, she was spending the evening with her girlfriends and slammed the phone down in his ear.
Any other time, he might've called Buck to see if he was free, but after this week, especially after this night, JD was pretty sure he didn't want to be anywhere around Buck for a good long time. Buck had been pretty mad that JD told Casey about Vin; he'd be more than livid if he knew what happened at the restaurant.
Driving around feeling sorry for himself and with nowhere in particular to go, JD finally decided to go to Nettie's. Maybe he could talk to her. She'd understand. She felt pretty much the same way he did after all. He could talk to her about it. Casey wouldn't be there, for sure Vin wouldn't be there, so going to Nettie's was safe.
+ + + + + + +
Vin and Nettie sat out on her top step with their ice cream. They were mostly in the dark, with the corner streetlamp and light from inside her house casting just enough glow to be useful. Vin sat with his back against the porch upright, and Nettie sat across the step from him, watching him.
They didn't talk, Vin never talked much when he was eating. He'd answer if Nettie talked to him, but he rarely started the conversation himself. She'd noticed that right from the first time she had him into her house for hot chocolate after he shoveled her sidewalk. He sat at her table and stared at his cup and all but crumbled apart the almond nut bar cookie she'd given him, and hardly said a word the whole time.
At first Nettie wondered if maybe he didn't want to be there, but she realized quick enough that he was just shy. Over the months, as their friendship grew and he began to feel more comfortable around her, he'd told her in bits and pieces, and not always in words, what his life had been like growing up, and how he was more used to being by himself and relying on himself, and felt – surprisingly to Nettie – that he didn't have much to offer in a friendship.
She'd thought they were past that, his feeling that he had to hide things from her, but she could tell now that he was holding something pretty close to his battered heart, so when he finished his ice cream and set his bowl aside, chewed some stray ice cream off his thumb and pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes, she slid down to be next to him.
"What is it you've got weighing on you so heavy?"
She could see when he lifted his head that he didn't want to tell her. He thought about it long and hard but the boy had to know he couldn't keep anything from her.
"After I left here, I was going to Inez's for dinner. Chris showed up at my door while I was getting my coat. Me sleeping all day at your house, nobody could find me, so he came looking."
"That would explain the thunderclouds I saw before."
Vin laughed, but it was too brief.
"Anyway, we went to Inez's. I saw in the parking lot, cars for Ezra and JD, and Nathan and Rain. Maybe I shouldn't oughta gone in, but I figured I didn't have to talk to 'em, I could just sit where I didn't have to look at 'em, and Lord knows Chris can fend off nuclear radiation if he's of a mind to, so I figured it'd be okay."
"But it wasn't."
Vin shook his head before he answered.
"No. Soon as we walked in, they were talking about it, about me. About – it. Right there, in public. I mean, the place looked empty, but maybe it wasn't. And even if it was, does Inez know now? The other people who work there? I wish I knew what the hell they were thinking. It was like being attacked all over again. Worse even, 'cause I thought they were my friends."
Nettie put an arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. She'd never done that before.
"Even friends can be stupid." She said. "I'm living proof."
+ + + + + + +
Just when JD really thought his night couldn't get any worse, he walked into Nettie's house, only to find Vin standing in her front room. At first stunned with surprise, then too late not to be seen and too proud to run, JD stood in the doorway and folded his arms.
"Thanks for letting the air out of my tires."
"I didn't let the air out of your tires." Vin said. He sounded sincere, even a little confused.
"Right."
"Did you get 'em re-inflated?"
"Yeah."
"I didn't do it. If I'd done it -." Here Vin's voice turned hard. "- you wouldn't a'been able to find your tires."
Before JD could admit to the truth of that, Vin went on.
"You know, if you had any questions, all you had to do was ask me. Wasn't like I was gonna turn away a friend who'd let me talk about what happened."
"What about now? Can I ask you about it now?" JD asked, hopeful. He was surprised when Vin shook his head.
"Honestly JD, I think it's time you took your head out of my butt and put it back up your own where it belongs."
Just as he said that, Nettie came into the front room carrying an overfull brown paper grocery bag. She obviously saw JD but didn't say anything to him. She handed the bag to Vin.
"Here you go. This should be enough food to keep you through tomorrow. Monday I'll take you shopping."
"Thank you Nettie." Vin said, bending down to kiss her cheek and JD felt more than a little jealous to find Vin and Nettie so close again.
Vin turned to leave and JD had to move into the room and out of the doorway to let him pass. After he was gone, JD turned to face Nettie. She set her hands on her hips and stared hard at him. After a moment she huffed in disgust and headed for the kitchen.
Just as she passed JD, she gave him a hard slap right across the back of his head.
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