NINETEEN
Nettie left her house and hurried to Vin's. She'd barely hung up the phone with Mary when she was out the door and down the sidewalk. Mary had said that Chris and Buck were with Vin, but Nettie didn't care if all six of the boys were with him, she was going to see how he was. She hadn't been encouraged any by what Mary told her either - last night Vin'd been heartbroken. Today he was pale and skittish. Thank the Lord Larabee was staying with him through it. For herself, Nettie knew she'd rather die - even rather that Casey died - than suffer what Vin had.But Vin had survived, and now Nettie needed to make sure for herself that he was all right, physically if nothing else. She had to see him in person to ease her mind.
She took the steps up to his apartment two at a time. She had horrible visions of him, cowed and broken, hardly able to function. After something like this - it was bad enough for a woman, but for a man? God have mercy.
The first thing she saw was the new keyed lock on the door. Expecting the worst, Nettie knocked - a little too insistently. She waited all of three seconds and was about to knock again when she heard somebody inside fumbling with all three locks. Chris by the low growl of his exasperation.
Finally the door opened and Nettie only barely held herself back from pushing right in past the wall of Larabee. "How is he?" she asked instead. Chris had pale circles under his eyes, and looked like he'd just woke up.He cleared his throat to answer, and gestured over his shoulder to the couch, as he stood aside to let her in.
"Sleepin'."
And Nettie took four steps into the front room, stopping to stare at the still form, sleeping quietly under a blanket on the couch. Vin's head was down, pressed into the overstuffed arm and throw pillows, and she couldn't see his face.
"How is he?" she asked again, whispered now, turning back to Chris.
"He's fine Nettie...a couple broken ribs, black eyes...he's fine."
Nettie heard Chris use that smooth, reassuring tone that always meant he was telling the truth on a serious matter. Chris didn't know that she knew. She looked at Vin again. "I hate to wake him up..." Chris rubbed the back of his neck and headed for the kitchen.
"Want some lemonade?"
+ + + + + + +
Vin was only barely awake when he heard the voices. Another split second and fear shoved him completely awake, keeping him frozen where he lay. Whose voices? What were they saying? He listened for the sound of household destruction, harsh laughter and salacious threats. What he heard was Nettie telling Chris about the first time she'd met Vin, early in January of that year.
"I don't know who was bigger - Vin or that bear of a dog who'd gotten loose. Broke the fence down Betty told me, and he was still just a pup. Draggin' poor Vin through a blizzard nearly, going door to door to find his owner. Past dark, near zero out. I didn't even have the chance to invite the boy in - the dog knew me and dragged him in, snowflakes and all..."
Then quiet laughter and Vin relaxed again, as much as he could, knowing he'd have to face Nettie or spend the rest of his life pretending to be asleep. At least the apartment was cleaned up and mostly presentable. Nettie was the kind of lady didn't like a thing out of place. Not a cup, not a book, not a thimble. She'd tsk'd so many times and picked up so many times that Vin still couldn't find his favorite coffee cup or the good long spoon he liked to use to make chocolate milk.
Good thing Chris and Buck had cleaned up, or he probably wouldn't even be able to find the carpet.
He listened again, and didn't hear Buck or Josiah, so they were probably still out at the hardware store. Vin wanted to be up and awake before they got back again, so slowly he pushed himself up, letting the blanket fall away. He scrubbed the sleep and sweat off his face and scratched his fingers through his hair.
"Vin?" Two voices nearly simultaneously, two chairs pushed back.
"Last I checked..." He stood up, he wanted to be on his feet in front of Nettie, but his knees ached, and it hurt his back to straighten all the way.
"Honey - how are you?" Nettie asked, and Vin put one hand out automatically to keep her from touching him. Everything hurt, and he knew he wouldn't be able to stand so much as a gentle hug from her. Nettie stopped, and Vin could see her take in everything, his black eyes, slumped shoulders, picture frame still held close. Chris stood just behind her.
"I'm okay Nettie. Seem to be sleepin' a lot since I whacked my head, but Nathan -" and he had to swallow the shame he felt remembering " - patched me all back up." Was she buying it?
"But how are you honey?"
"I'm okay Nettie." He briefly glanced at Chris, wanting a rescue before the whole conversation went too far. He couldn't remember what he'd told Nettie. Did he just tell he fell, or that he'd been beaten? What did Mark Twain say? 'Always tell the truth, then you don't have to remember anything'
"We were just having some lemonade...," Chris offered. "Want some?"
"Okay..." Vin moved past Nettie, trying not to shrink from touching her. "It's still hot, even with the fan going..."
"Well, honey..." Nettie followed him to the kitchen. "Maybe if you weren't wearing two shirts..."
Vin looked at her. Pain crossed his face and his hand stole up to close the neck of his borrowed shirt. He didn't say anything but flushed dark, and turned his eyes to the floor, ashamed. He felt safer, he felt better wearing Chris' shirt when he put it on at Larabee's house, but now it just felt stupid. Should just stand on his own. He decided to take the extra shirt off.
Then he felt Chris' hand on his shoulder, squeezing hard and he looked up into an understanding face. "You should keep it on," Chris told him. "You been cold most of yesterday and today..." Vin nodded.
Outside the door, they heard footsteps and voices. "Comin' in," Buck announced, knocking loudly. Chris went to turn the locks, and Buck came in carrying a large cardboard box under one arm, and toolbox in the other hand. Josiah followed with plastic bags of wallpaper and supplies.
"What in the world have you got going here?" Nettie asked. Chris took a bag from Josiah and the toolbox from Buck and led the way to the bathroom.
"Just a little redecoratin', Miss Nettie...," Buck told her, smiling as he walked past her. Vin backed away from their path, a foot or so into the kitchen, into the tiny floor space between the stove and the sink. "Hope you like our choices Vin. Josiah and me nearly had words over the wallpaper..."
"Fortunately, wiser heads prevailed," Josiah said. "Nettie...," he greeted her in passing. "So you won't be blinded by neon seashells whenever you use your bathroom."
"It's a bathroom..." Buck continued their argument from inside the very room. "Y'know - water? Sea? Sea shells...?"
+ + + + + + +
Nettie watched the four men. Chris came out of the bathroom and stood near Vin. She could see that Vin was more relaxed among his friends. He smiled at the dispute still rumbling over the wallpaper, shared an amused look with Chris, and shook his head. He dropped his hand off the collar of his shirt, and let the picture frame - that she recognized as the one holding his parents' pictures - slide down to his side. But when she took a step or two towards him, she plainly saw Vin tense up again.
"Well, honey. Y'seem like you're in good hands. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Call me if you need anything, all right?"
"I will Nettie." Vin had to remind himself to breathe, let alone answer her.
"Good." She wanted to wrap him in hug and never let go, but it hurt her just to watch him standing there in pain. "See me to the door?" She regretted saying that as soon as she saw the panic fill his eyes. But he nodded again, and walked with her to the front door.
"You let the boys take care of you, honey. They're good men, and they care about you."
"I know Nettie. I will."
"Okay." Instead of the hug, she put her hand on his arm and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Call me later on, let me know how you're doing."
"I will."
With a brief, "See you fellas..." called to the others, Nettie opened the door and left.
Vin couldn't get the door shut or the locks turned fast enough once she was gone.
TWENTY
Of the four of them, only Chris and Josiah had ever hung wallpaper, so the task of re-doing the bathroom fell to them. Buck took the medicine chest back into the front room to get it out of its cardboard box, sitting on the floor with it between his knees, making sure all the necessary parts were there.Vin paced.
First he stood at the end of his dinette table, watching them measure the walls and mark the straight edge in the bathroom. He cleared the table of the glasses and pitcher of lemonade in case they needed to work there. Then, feeling like the little space would be too crowded if three of them needed to stand there, he went into the front room and stood a moment in front of Buck, "You need help?" Hoping the answer would be 'yes'.
"Not right now. Soon's the boys are done in there, we'll get this up in a shake."
"Okay." Vin walked past, to the front window. He looked out for a second, but was afraid of seeing them, so he turned away again. There was an empty spot on the top shelf of his bookshelf, and he set the double frame of his parents' pictures there.
Then he adjusted it a little.
Then he lifted it up to brush the dust away and set it back down.
Then adjusted it again.
Then picked it back up and held it close again.
He walked to the kitchen and looked around but found nothing more to do there, so he walked back to the front window for a second, standing in front of the fan. He turned around - and nearly slam into Buck who had stood up behind him.
"Seem a might restless Vin," he observed. When Vin looked down and turned away, Buck turned with him. "Take a walk or something? Go for a drive, get some air?" Over Vin's still bowed head, he saw Chris stop his work to watch was going on, till Buck nodded that everything was okay.
"My house," Vin said. "I should be doing something. Didn't clean up anything, didn't wash the floor or clean up the bathroom. Didn't - didn't even pay for the cabinet or the wallpaper. My house - should be doing something."
"Well yeah," Buck improvised quickly. "Soon's the old guys are done with the wallpaper, we're putting up the cabinet." Vin looked up at him like he wanted to believe him, but didn't quite.
"Don't mean to take advantage..." The words were barely whispered out.
"You're not taking advantage Vin." Buck tried to think of an analogy that didn't throw the attack back at Vin. "C'mon, if you'd been hit by a truck, you wouldn't be standing there saying you shoulda taken yourself to the hospital or set your own broken bones..." But this was Vin he was talking about. "Then again, you probably would. You probably woulda put the stitches in yourself if you coulda reached..."
A frown crossed Vin's face and Buck put a hand on his shoulder to give him a friendly shake. "So it means a whole lot to us that you are letting us help. I know it couldna been easy for you to ask Chris for help, to talk to Josiah, or to know that I know what happened. We're proud to be your friends Vin, and what happened doesn't change that. Not one bit."
"Feel like I let the side down," Vin said. "Like I should apologize to you, to all you fellas for lettin' it happen -"
"You didn't let it happen," Buck interrupted him, trying hard to keep the aggravation out of his voice that Vin's words raised. Still, he could see that he'd shut Vin down. Whatever he'd been saying or wanting to say had been pulled behind a wall. "I know they might've said you were 'asking for it' Vin, they might've even made you say it. That don't make it true."
"Shoulda made them kill me 'fore I let them touch me."
This time Buck held his words until he could let his aggravation out in a calm breath. "You survived Vin. Surviving is everything. Survivin' is what gives you the time to sort everything else out."
"...'everything else' hurts," Vin said, his own aggravation sounding in his voice.
"I know it does Vin." Buck's voice was gentle now, and Vin watched him, wanting Buck to make sense of it for him. "Vin -" he put his hands on Vin's shoulders. "If you'd been walking down the street, and pulled Maria out of the path of a truck, then that truck drove right up onto the sidewalk to run you down because of it - yeah, everything would still hurt. I know you'd be going over every tiny little detail in your mind, over and over. Wishin' you'd seen them in time to get out of the way. Wishin' maybe that little Maria hadn't even been walking down the street right then." Buck took a breath before going on. This next part wasn't pleasant.
"But you couldn't get out of the way in time Vin, and they ran you down. And it will hurt, probably for a long time. Every bump and bruise and broken bone feeling like they're screaming at you for not getting out of the way in time. Screaming at yourself more'n likely too, hating yourself for what you know - you just know you coulda prevented if you'd just been paying better attention, or been stronger, or lived in a different neighborhood, or drove a different car or took chemistry instead of trigonometry in high school. A million different things Vin, and each one of 'em will look to you like they somehow held the key to not gettin' hurt. But you did get hurt, and you did survive, and surviving is everything."
Vin sifted all the words through his brain, Buck could tell looking at his eyes. And thank God, they seemed to be making sense to him.
"I'm scared they'll get me again," Vin told him, and Buck squeezed his shoulders harder.
"Not while I live."
Putting up the wallpaper, every once in a while Chris looked out to Buck and Vin. They were talking earnestly, quietly, the words muffled by the fan in the window. Buck was a head taller than Vin, but it was never as obvious as when they stood close together. Vin lifted his chin to meet Buck's gaze, paying close attention to everything he was saying. Chris wished he could hear what they were talking about, wanting to know what was putting such a look of fear and hope on Vin's face, and that look of concern on Buck's face that Chris hadn't seen since -
"Chris?" Josiah's voice brought him back to the work, and the length of dripping wallpaper in his hands.
"Got distracted...," he mumbled, handing the heavy paper up to Josiah, who stood on a kitchen chair nex to the bathtub. "You think he'll be okay Josiah?" Chris had to ask. "Something like this - could kill a man."
"Or make a man kill himself," Josiah said and would've been dead if Chris could've killed him with a look.
"Don't say that," Chris snapped.
"Then don't think it either Chris. Vin's got spine, and he's got friends. He's in a lot of pain, and he's got a lot to sort out, but he is sorting it out. Don't compare apples to oranges, and don't borrow trouble."
"He's so young." Chris turned again to Vin and Buck. Whatever Buck was saying now was deadly serious, with a hand on each shoulder. Whatever he was saying, Vin was staring at him as though it was the only thing left that mattered. "World shouldn't fall down on a man that young."
"No, it shouldn't." Josiah slid the wallpaper into place and smoothed it with a large sponge. "Vin's never really said, but I get the feeling the world has fallen on him one way or another a few times already in his life. When his Mom died, surely when his Dad died." He made sure the seams matched, pushed and pulled and finessed the edges into alignment.
"One thing Vin has told me Chris, is that he feels safe with you. Not just today, he's told me that almost from the day you met. Sometimes in words, sometimes not. Sometimes, like today, I can see it in the way he holds himself relaxed around you, no matter that the world has fallen on him and should be crushing the life out of him."
But Chris shook his head. "I feel like I haven't done anything for him."
"You mean besides took him in when he felt he had nowhere to go. Took him to the doctor when he would've hid himself away in pain and misery. Let him tell you nearly everything they did to him in this bathroom, pour out all his heart and anguish in the small hours of morning, and still treated him like a friend despite how bad he felt about himself. Besides that, you mean?"
Chris chewed the inside of his lip to keep smiling from Josiah's apt assessment. "Yeah, besides that."
"Selfish scoundrel, aren't you Larabee?" Josiah teased him, but added: "Don't judge this situation against one you couldn't help Chris. Just being there for Vin seems to be exactly what he needs from you right now."
TWENTY-ONE
It didn't take long to finish hanging the wallpaper. Chris and Josiah packed up their garbage and tools, and Buck carried the new medicine cabinet in. Vin followed him, and Chris came in behind."Vin, let me help Buck. You shouldn't be doing any work."
"Nah, I can do it Chris." Vin's voice was soft, tired. He took a moment to look at his parents' pictures, before reluctantly handing the frame to Chris for safekeeping. "Wanna be busy, y'know? Been sittin' too long...I'll be careful," he added, when he got a look at the scowl forming on Larabee's face.
"Rain said you shouldn't be doing any lifting or bending or -"
"Yeah, well Rain ain't here." Vin tried to keep it light, but aggravation was beginning to creep in. This was his home. "I know myself well enough. What I can n' can't do. I'll be careful..." Chris must've heard the slight edge in Vin's words because he backed off.
"All right, but you let me know if you need help," he included Buck in his words as well. He walked out of the bathroom but turned in the front room to watch Buck and Vin get to work. He winced seeing Vin bend over to dig the tape measure and cordless drill and bit out of the toolbox. Then Vin raised his arms to hold one end of the tape measure, while Buck marked the spots for the new screws.
"Chris - you're so wired up you're about to spontaneously combust," Josiah told him. "He won't push himself beyond endurance."
"He might."
"Buck will watch him...Chris, Vin needs to feel in control again. He needs to feel that he has his pride back." Chris let himself be nudged further into the frontroom. But even while he looked out the windows, he kept his ears on what was going on behind him.
+ + + + + + +
Buck stood on the kitchen chair, one foot on the sink, and waited for Vin to hand up the chest. It didn't weigh much, but as Vin lifted it over the sink, the sharp pain cut into his spine and he nearly dropped the cabinet, hissing the pain out involuntarily.
"I've got it," Buck told him, taking a good hold and lifting it from Vin. "Chris? OK Vin, here..." He turned and easily set the cabinet back on the floor, then jumped down. Vin stood frozen, in pain, eyes squeezed shut. He was afraid to move an inch. "Are you okay?"
"What is it?" Chris was there in an instant, Josiah behind him. Vin tried to answer him but couldn't get his breath.
"It happened when he lifted the cabinet up to me."
"Is it your back?" Chris tried again. This time Vin managed to nod.
"It's okay," he gasped. "It's goin' away."
"Can you walk? Come out and sit down." Vin shook his head. It seemed to make Chris angry. "Dammit - Rain told you no lifting."
"My house," Vin snapped at him, finally opening his eyes to look at Chris. "I do the work in my own house."
"Not now. Not this time," Chris snapped back. "We're talking about your spine."
"Not asking your damn permission Chris." If he could've taken even a step, Vin would've pushed past Larabee out of the bathroom. "I take care of myself. I take care of my own house."
"Not when you've been hurt and you've got people to help you."
Vin felt Buck put a hand on his shoulder when Larabee shouted at him. To protect him, or calm him, Vin couldn't tell which. It didn't matter. It didn't help.
"My house," Vin shouted. "Nobody tells me what to do in my house. You leave me alone or you get out. You hear me? My house. This is my house." He held himself so stiff against the pain, he looked about ready to snap in half. "Damn you to hell - this is MY HOUSE."
Chris stared in shock for a minute. Vin stood before him enraged - in obvious agony, shaking from the pain or his passion. Or fear. That thought came through loud and clear to Chris at last. Mentally looking around himself and thinking on all that had happened in this very space, how could he blame Vin for lashing out?
"You're right," he said calmly. He didn't bother pointing out that he was only trying to help, only trying to spare Vin more pain and injury. He realized he should be trying to spare the man his dignity. "I'm sorry..." He turned to leave the bathroom, muttering "I've got to get something out of my truck. I'll be right back..."
Josiah moved out of the way to let Chris get past him, reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder in understanding. Chris nodded his thanks, handed on the picture frame, and left the apartment.
He wasn't going to his truck, he sat on the stair just above the landing. He wanted a few minutes to settle his anger. Anger at himself, at Vin, at the criminals who'd hurt his friend. He had to keep focused on this situation, on what was happening today. But he found himself thinking about Stephen, and those last days when his brother-in-law seemed so lost and so unhappy. If he could only go back in time and change one thing, just one thing, he'd just be there for Steve. That's all he wanted to do for Vin now. Be there for him, take care of him.
"Mr. Larabee?"
He almost didn't hear the small voice. He turned to find Maria on the top stair behind him. She glanced a little anxiously over her shoulder at Vin's door, then walked the few steps down to Chris. He'd met her more than once when he'd been here to Vin's place.
"Hi Maria - how are you?"
"Nettie called Mom and said Vin was home..." She ignored his question. "I was gonna stop by and see him but -" she looked over her shoulder again. "I heard him yellin'...it's my fault isn't it?" She turned back to Chris. "That he got hurt? Because he protected me?"
"No Maria..." Chris shook his head and patted the stair next to himself, waiting for the girl to sit down. "Those boys, those -" A dozen descriptions went through his mind, none that he could say in front of a young girl. "They hurt Vin because he protected you. But it's not your fault. He scared 'em and they had to prove that they were bigger and stronger than him, so they beat him up. They're bullies, that's all. They don't need an excuse to be mean, they just do it. It wasn't your fault."
+ + + + + + +
Vin stared out at his front door long after Chris had shut it behind himself. He didn't feel any better now that he'd chased Chris away. His anger died quickly, replaced by a growing panic that he was alone. Never mind that Buck and Josiah stood on either side of him - Chris was gone and he was alone.
"Vin -" A gentle hand on his shoulder pushed him to sit in the kitchen chair. "Take a minute to catch your breath," Buck told him. "We'll start again in a while."
Even as he gingerly lowered himself to sitting, Vin watched the front door. Make him come back he wanted to say. He had the terrible feeling that Chris was just going to get into his truck and drive away. Josiah must've read it in his face.
"I think I'll go see if Chris needs any help," he said and followed Larabee out of the apartment. When they were alone, Buck crouched in front of Vin.
"You with me Vin?" trying to get him to make eye contact. "Watching that door won't make it open any sooner."
"Didn't mean for him to leave." Vin sounded surprised.
"No, he didn't leave. He mighta took some distance, but I guarantee you, Chris ain't more'n a sharp whistle away...want me to prove it?" Buck asked when Vin looked like he doubted it.
"Nahh...I believe you..." Vin looked from Buck to the front door, then to the newly re-papered bathroom walls, and all that Buck was doing for him. "I woulda liked the neon seashells," he said.
+ + + + + + +
Josiah was back in less than a minute. "Chris is sitting on your stairs there...," he said. "Think he's just getting his thoughts together."
"I should go talk to him," Vin decided. Apologize. Something. Anything. Whatever it took to make Chris not think Vin was too much of a burden. Anything before Chris really did leave.
"He'll be back in," Buck promised, but Vin shook his head.
"I gotta go out to him." Buck gave him a hand up, and Josiah walked with him to the door. Vin cracked the door open and took a breath to still the trembling he felt. Cautiously, an inch or less at a time, he moved into the hallway, until he could see Chris, still sitting there at the landing, and he felt safe enough to walk to him.
It wasn't until Vin was at the top step that he saw Maria sitting next to Larabee, and he would've done anything to be invisible just that second as both man and girl turned to him.
"Vin!" Maria was on her feet in an instant, intending to run to his side. Chris started to put his hand out, probably meaning to temper her enthusiasm, but the need to know that at least Maria was still whole suddenly overrode anything else and Vin held his arms out to her.
"Are you okay honey?" he had to know. She caught him in a solid hug but the pain was nothing next to knowing she was fine.
"The policeman came yesterday and said you got hurt and he said it was those boys that tried to hurt me..." she unwound her anxiety into his shirt. "...and they did it because you helped me and it's all my fault and I'd do anything to make it all better..."
"Shh Maria. It's okay. I'm okay." He just wanted to stand there, feeling her arms around him. The one clean, innocent thing left in his life.
"No you're not. You're not okay. I can see it. They hurt you."
"I'm okay now honey. It's not your fault. They didn't hurt me." Somehow, saying that to her wasn't lying. Maria clung to him, coming just a few inches above his elbow, and Vin bent his head to rest his cheek on her dark hair. "I'm tougher than I look."
Then they didn't say anything more for a few beats of time, till finally Vin broke the hold and stood back. "Here, let me have a look at you. You sure that you're OK too? Didn't eat too much ice cream at the Fair did you? Not without me?"
"Well..." She looked down. "...Daddy took me there Friday night and said I could have anything I wanted...and I really like Mexican Sundaes..." Vin hugged her again and kissed the top of her head.
"I'm glad you did honey. You deserve everything you want..." He held onto her another half minute or so. "I have to talk to Chris now, but I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay..." she nodded up to him, then smiled down to Chris before heading back to her own apartment. Vin watched till she turned a corner and he couldn't see her anymore. He felt Chris come to stand beside him.
"She's a real sweet girl," Chris said.
"Yeah, she is." Vin was grateful that they were talking to each other. "I didn't mean to yell at you Chris..."
"I didn't mean to rile you either..."
"I can still come home with you tonight, can't I?" The real fear finally expressed. Chris scowled at him.
"Damn right you're coming home with me."
And Vin nodded. "Okay."
TWENTY-TWO
There wasn't much left to be done in Vin's apartment. Chris and Buck hung the new medicine chest, and Vin let Chris help him organize his possessions onto the shelves. After that, they put up a new shower curtain."What d'you think?" Chris asked, as Vin stood in the doorway, looking at the work.
What did he think? What did he think? No trace of blood remained on the floor, the walls, or tub. The towel bar had been rehung in it's usual spot, the new medicine cabinet was a little smaller than the old one. The wallpaper was a definite improvement over the previous, and the shower curtain filled the little bathroom with the smell of fresh vinyl.
What did he think?
"Looks good," he finally said. This was still the spot where it had happened, where they had been. They were still here. "Hardly recognize the place..."
They would always be here.
Vin turned back toward the kitchen, where Buck and Josiah waited to take their leave. The phone rang and Buck was closest to it, so he grabbed it.
"Hello?" and after a second he gave a grin that this was friend, not foe. "Well Ezra, what number did you call? Are you sure you dialed Vin's number? And I answered? Well then, I guess I must be at Vin's place..." Buck held his laugh, but it showed in his eyes how much he enjoyed aggravating Ezra. He listened for a little while then. "I don't know, I'll ask -" he covered the mouthpiece. "Ezra - wants to know if we want to meet for dinner at Inez's. Said he's seen JD on campus and is gonna ask him. He's gonna call Nathan too." Though it was a general invitation, he directed is specifically to Vin.
"I - I - I - don't think I can - I don't -" Fear filled Vin, from the pit of his stomach all the way to back of his throat.
"Been a long day," Chris said, stopping Vin's stammering. "You should get some rest." Vin nodded gratefully.
"I'll go," Josiah said, and Buck relayed the information to Ezra.
"Josiah n'me'll meet you there...don't let JD tell you 'no' for an answer. Naah, Chris is gettin' too old for staying up this late and Vin's gonna take him home. Okay Ez'. See you then." He hung up the phone. "Well Vin, you let us know anything else you need...don't let Chris boss y'around too much."
"Okay Buck." The fear slowly settled back down again. "I 'preciate your help. Couldna done it without you."
"Anytime - you know that," Buck's voice dropped to serious. "You need me, you call me. If I'm at work, call the station and have 'em hunt me down. Hear?" Vin nodded.
"Same goes for me Vin," Josiah told him. "Anytime. Anywhere."
"I will Josiah. Thanks - for all y'said..." Vin gestured to his bedroom. "...in there... I'll try t'remember it all..."
"You do that son...I'll check on you every day okay? Just give you a phone call?"
"That'd be great Josiah, I really appreciate that. Both of you." Vin was touched by their concern. He dropped his eyes and his voice and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "Think I might be at Chris' place - for the next couple days anyway."
"Good - keep him outta trouble." Buck put a smile into his voice to try and get one out of Vin. "Keep him outta the laundry if nothin' else." Vin let out a sigh and did look up.
"Know anybody needs a coupla pairs of pastel socks?"
"Oh - that's easy to fix," Buck said, brightly. "Let Chris wash 'em again. Sooner or later he's bound to put too much bleach in with them. They'll be good as new."
"Isn't time for you to meet Ezra for dinner?" Chris growled as the other three laughed.
"Aw Chris - her mother bought her that bedspread..," Buck said.
"Out!" Chris insisted, and the two friends left the apartment, still chuckling even as they shut the door behind themselves. "Not you too," Chris said, when he turned to see Vin trying to suppress a grin.
"Who - me?" Vin tried to feign innocence. "I grew up in the Seventies Chris. You know I love tie dye...just never seen it in khaki turquoise before..."
"Yeah - guess what you're gettin' for your birthday this year Tanner...," Chris warned. "You about ready to head out?"
"Reckon...where's my pictures? Maybe I should take some more clothes...?"
"If you want," Chris said. He handed Vin the photos of his parents. "You have another back pack or something to carry them in?"
"I got a duffel bag, bottom a'my closet..." Vin walked into his room and pulled the empty duffel bag out and sat with it on the end of his bed. He stared at his dresser a minute.
"Need some help?" Chris asked, standing in the doorway.
"How long can I stay?" Vin almost whispered. He was afraid to ask, but he needed to know.
"At my house?" and Vin nodded. "As long as you want." Chris smiled when Vin didn't. "For as long as you can stand me..." And then Vin tossed the duffel bag on the floor.
"Didn't know you were puttin' conditions on it..." He felt better. Thank God he felt better. Yesterday at this time, or near it, Vin wanted nothing more than to be in a drug-induced coma. Now at least he could make jokes. The pain and shame and fear hadn't gone very far, but now, at least for now, they weren't taking up every molecule of air that he had to breathe. "Y'help me get this drawer open?"
"Sure..." Chris came in and gave it a tug. He helped Vin pack up some jeans and T-shirts, socks and underwear. "Anything else you want to bring?" Vin looked around the room.
"No, don't think so. I'll bring Mom and Dad." He indicated the frame and tucked it on top of his clothes in the duffel bag. "Guess everything else'll be okay. That new lock Buck put on the door - guess everything else'll be okay."
"It'll be okay," Chris promised him.
Vin led the way to the front door. He was thinking ahead to tomorrow. Maybe if he felt well enough, he'd go to work with Chris. At least for a little while. Help him get some things straight in Groundskeeping. He knew he should just stay home and rest, but the truth was, he felt safer around Chris. He didn't know if he'd last eight hours or more on his own, even at Chris' house. He was about to turn to Chris to suggest this as he opened the front door.
Someone was standing there.
"SHIT!" Feeling like he was about to have a heart attack, Vin took a hard step backward, slamming into Chris. Run. Was all he could think. Don't let them get me again. But he couldn't think how to get past Chris. They were back. They were going to get him again.
"Vin?" a young voice asked, confused. Even when Vin's eyes focused and he saw that is was Maria, he couldn't stop his heart pounding against his ribs, couldn't overcome the sudden nausea that crawled up his throat. He dropped the duffel bag and pushed around Chris, heading for the bathroom before it was too late. "Vin?" Maria repeated.
"It's OK honey, you just startled him." Vin heard Chris say as he shut the bathroom door. He didn't get sick, he leaned his hands on the sink and closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing. Prickly sweat broke out on his skin and every nerve crackled.
Shit.
After a few minutes, Chris tapped on the bathroom door then cracked it open. "How're you doin'? You okay?" Vin shook his head.
"Scared me."
"Yeah - scared her too..." Chris put his hand on Vin's back and gently rubbed across his shoulders. "Just breathe Vin. Take some deep breaths...it's okay..."
"I thought it was them Chris. I thought it was them and there wasn't anything I could about it." As the mental shock wore off, the physical shock took over and he trembled.
"You weren't alone Vin."
"You won't always be there Chris..." Fear turned his voice a higher pitch. "If it'd been them and you weren't here, they coulda done anything they wanted and there isn't one thing I could do to stop them..."
"Vin - don't think about that now."
"Don't think about it?" Vin wanted to turn to Chris, but he didn't want to let go of the sink. "It's my life. They'll be out there the whole rest of my life and there isn't anything I can do about it." He tried to calm his breathing again, tried to relax the muscles in his back that were cramping up, and open his eyes so he could see something other than the horror. "I have to take a shower."
"Vin." Now Chris' voice had the low register of concern mixed with aggravation. He spoke slowly, distinctly. "You've had two showers today already. You're not dirty Vin. I know you feel like you are, but you aren't."
"I am. You don't know. I am."
"I do know Vin. They made your skin dirty, they didn't make you dirty. You don't need to take another shower."
"Please?" Chris hated to hear the pleading in his voice. Hated that Vin felt like he needed to ask permission. He let out a breath.
"Let me take you home first. Take a shower at my place, okay? We'll have something to eat, and you'll be closer to bed...okay?"
Vin nodded and choked out: "Okay..."
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