ATF Alternate Universe
SIX
The gurney broke the ER doors sending the medical team into action. As the IV had already been started by the paramedics on scene, the doctor immediately set about examining the wound."Blood pressure 120/80."
"Well, at least that's one good thing," the doctor answered the nurse as he continued to check his patient, "Laura, can you arrange for a catheter? I'm worried, we may have a bleeder here," the doctor instructed as replaced the bandage over the wound.
Vin groaned under the constant attack of trespassing hands and even in his incoherent state he heard the dreaded 'catheter' word and pushed the mask from his face. "N-oo," he struggled to speak as the pressure in his chest increased. "N-o cath--don't want--"
Doctor Hayward moved closer as watched the heart rate monitor pitch to 120 and struggled to hold his writhing patient to the bed. "Sir. Mr. Tanner? It really doesn't matter what you want. Listen to me."
"No," Vin repeated his eyes half open as he looked about at the sea of strangers that hovered around him, "leave--me--" Why didn't they understand he just wanted to be left alone?
Doctor Hayward frowned as he lost patience with his agitated patient and ignoring Vin's fretting, continued. "Not only do I suspect maybe a broken rib or two, Mr. Tanner, I also believe you may have a lacerated kidney. To be sure we have no choice but to put a catheter in. I'm sorry if you have had it before and you don't want it again, but there is no choice." He said gruffly.
Shaking her head at the doctor's lack of compassion, Laura stopped preparing the catheter and moved over to gently place the mask back on the patient's face. "Mr. Tan--Vin," she spoke softly as she pushed his hair from his face. "My name is Laura, I promise you I will be as gentle and as quick as I can."
The thought of a woman putting the catheter in, only seemed to make the situation worse for Vin and his weak objections worsened as he attempted to lift himself up from the table, "NO! Don--'t wan--, no." Vin's face paled even more as his shaking hands ripped the mask from his face again.
"I've had enough," Hayward barked as he lost the last thread of his bedside manner with his patient. "Mr. Tanner," he glared into the pain filled blue eyes, "I don't want to sedate you until I know the full extent of your injuries, but I will restrain you to stop from you causing yourself anymore damage. Do I make myself clear?" Having been on call most of the day, Hayward's compassion had worn thin until it had finally broke. He wasn't about to spend his last hours on duty battling this patient over the minor use of a catheter.
+ + + + + + +
Standing in the middle of Ezra's apartment, Chris refused to meet the southerner's eyes, so disgusted with his actions that had brought him to this moment.
"I'm sure Mr. Tanner will forgive you, Mr. Larabee. Words are easily misspoken when love is the prize," Ezra said, unsure he believed his own words.
A barely audible sob, shook Chris's body as he turned away from the southerner. "Words! God, if only it was that easy. What I did to him-- he'll never forgive me."
The Southerner could not say that he and Chris Larabee had ever been the best of friends, if anything they had come to a mutual understanding of each other, and agreed at most times to disagree. So it was with unsettled emotions that Ezra decided to push the agent to reveal things, that maybe he did not want to hear. He couldn't see how anything Larabee could have done, would have shaken the foundation of love the he had seen the young Texan's eyes.
"Never is such a long time, Mr. Larabee and I do believe that Mr. Tanner is far more forgiving than you give him credit for."
"Somethings-- are not forgivable," Chris's voiced wavered as he remembered the look in his lover's eyes. The hurt and the confusion that he ignored as he took his revenge and tossed the only man he had ever loved aside. "I might as well have thrown money on the table," his voice was barely audible as he ran his hand through his hair.
Ezra's mouth opened, a frown creasing his forehead as he shook his head, not believing what he had just heard, "What?" he demanded as he threw himself at his boss. The Southerner might have been smaller, but his fury made up for his lack of size, "What did you do Larabee?" He demanded, his voice dripping with spite. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"
"Damn it Ezra, I wasn't thinking right. I was jealous. I didn't mean it...God, I didn't mean it," he cried as he squeezed his shut so he wouldn't have to see the Southerner's disgust.
"You thought--that Vin and I were having--an affair--so you took it out-- on Vin's --body. Please, tell me, if I am I translating your disgusting contrition wrong here?" Ezra hissed.
Chris opened his eyes and meet the blazing eyes of the southerner, "I didn't do what you're thinking Ezra, we made love. I just--"
"Made him feel worthless. Made him feel all those things that you had fought so hard to heal after we got him back from that animal ? Then Mr.Larabee --I hope he never forgives you." Ezra spat as he pushed himself way from the distraught man.
SEVEN
"Made him feel worthless. Made him feel all those things that you had fought so hard to heal after we got him back from that animal? Then Mr.Larabee --I hope he never forgives you." Ezra spat as he pushed himself way from the distraught man.The sudden interruption of telephone did nothing to help dissipate Ezra's anger, infact it only seemed to add to it as he turned his back on Larabee and stalked to the table. Yanking at the hand set from its base, Ezra barked down the line, "Mr. Ezra Standish!"
"What is it, Mr. Wilmington?" Ezra asked as he still silently raged at Chris.
"Yes," he nodded in answer to Buck's question, "it so happens, he is here. I will get him for--"
"What? How?" Ezra's face paled as Buck's news sunk in. "When?" He asked as he shaking fingers began to search his pockets for his keys, knowing that Chris would be in no shape to drive. Taking a deep breath before he answered, Ezra attempted to get some composure back. "On wings, Mr. Wilmington."
Hanging up the phone, Ezra fished his keys from his pockets as he turned to break the phone conversation to Chris. "Mr. Lara--" Ezra paused as he found himself talking to a empty room. "Damn you Larabee, damn you to Hell!" The Southerner spat as he stormed from the room.
+ + + + + + +
Buck had charged through the hospital like a man possessed. He had tried to get the news about Vin to Chris, but his friend had not been at his house, nor did he answer his mobile. Eventually in desperation, Buck had tried Vin's apartment, when that too failed, he ended up calling around the team. He was more than a little surprised to find out that Chris was at Ezra's apartment, but why was not important, he was just glad to have found him. He knew how much the sharpshooter hated hospital and how much he would be needing Chris.
"Vin Tanner?" He asked the emergency desk. "Our office received a call that he was brought in here tonight."
"Vin tanner?" The nurse looked down the list, "Oh yes, here he is. Treatment room-- three," she called after Buck's disappearing back.
Of all the things that Buck was expecting to see as he burst into the room, Vin strapped down to the bed was not one of them.
"What the Hell's goin' on here?" He demanded of the staff that surrounded the hospital bed. His face blistered red as he stormed toward his friend, "What the fuck do you think you are doin' to him?!" Buck shouted.
An orderly stepped forward and tried to bar Buck's way. "Sir, this is an emergency room. You are not allowed--"
"Son, unless you want to be spittin' blood for a week, I would get out of my way if I were you." Buck menaced.
One of the nurses looked from what she was doing and quickly made her way toward the growing altercation. "Excuse me," she smiled, "are you a friend of Mr. Tanner's?" Laura asked as she nodded for the orderly to move away.
Pretty nurse or not, Buck was not going to be put off from what he had to say, "What are you doin' to him?"
"Please," she asked as he pulled gently on his arm, "lets talk outside."
"No!" Buck answered shaking his head, "Vin don't bein' like left alone. I'm not leavin'," he stated.
"Okay," She agreed, "but no more outbursts. Mr. Tanner has only just settled down."
"Seems like he doesn't have much choice in the matter does he?" He snarled, "Why have you done that to him?" Buck asked as he nodded at the restraints, "He doesn't take kindly to being tied up like that."
Laura looked compassionately toward her patient, "I know," she sighed, "so we found out. We didn't want to do it, but he was fighting the treatment and -- it was doctor's orders."
Buck looked around the room, "Where is this doctor then?" he hissed. "You have to get him to take 'em off him." He paused for a moment wondering whether how far to go, but he liked this woman, she seemed to care. "Vin-- he was-- he can't be tied up that's all. You gotta get me the Doc, so we can get them off."
"Mr--?"
"Buck Ma'am, Buck Wilmington,"
"Laura, Buck," she said introducing herself, "Buck, we can't sedate him. We believe he may have not only some broken ribs, but our major concern is that whatever was used to stab your friend lacerated his kidney. We can't have him moving around." She explained.
"He won't," Buck promised, "You get those restraints off and I will keep the kid quiet. He knows better than to mess with ol' Buck," he halfheartedly smiled.
"I'll find the doctor and we'll see what we can do," she said somewhat relieved that Vin wasn't alone as he seemed.
"Can I talk to him?" Buck asked Laura as she went to move away.
"I don't see why not. You can show us just how afraid of you, Vin is," Laura jokeed trying to relieve the tension. "I'll go and find Doctor Hayward for you."
Buck took a deep breath, wishing that Chris was here. He was always better at talking to Vin than he was, but as he was the only one there, what choice was there?
"Vin!"
Vin had tried to fight them; tried to stop them putting the leather cuffs over his wrist, but he was tired; too sick of fighting, defeated, he surrended. He heard the voice calling to him, but it was too far away.
Buck searched the open blue eyes for some sign of recognition, but all he found was pain. "Vin?" He whispered again as his eyes moved down to the sharpshooter's hands curled into white knuckled fists; again there was no answer. Taking one of Vin's hands in his, Buck leaned closer to Vin's ear, "I'm here pard and I'm not goin' anywhere, I promise."
The blue eye's closed as a tear escaped and slid down the side of Vin's face. "Ch--ris," he barely whispered as his fingers uncurled and entwined into Bucks.
Buck gripped Vin's hander tighter as a lump came to his throat, where the Hell are you Chris? "Yeah Pard, it's Chris," Buck lied.
EIGHT
"Yeah Pard, it's Chris," Buck heard himself lie as he felt Vin's clenched hand relax, allowing him to grip the sharpshooter's hand in comfort. "You not alone, Vin," he promised.Vin's eye's fluttered open, lifting the veil of pain so that he could see clearly that he had been mistaken about the voice. "Ya don't have-- to lie, Buck. It's-- okay, I know Chris-- don't want to be here," he said sadly.
"What? He wouldn't be anywhere's else ya know that," Buck smiled reassuringly," I spoke to Ezra myself. Chris is with him and he--"
Vin began to struggle in the bed, "Chris was at Ez's place? What happened?" His voice strained. In his rising panic, Vin realized that the restraints were still holding him to the bed and he began to struggle even harder as old feelings began to resurface.
Watching the doorway for the hospital staff, Buck jumped from his seat and clasped his hands to the sides of Vin's head. Staring into the slowly dulling blue eyes, Buck tried to get through to Vin before the doctor arrived.
"Vin, listen to me, if they see you doing this, they are going to leave you tied up. You don't want that do you?" He pleaded as he kept an eye on the machinery that was hooked up to his friend. "I know where you're going and I ain't letting you go back there, you hear me? You're not with Sleeth anymore, he's dead, remember Vin? He's dead. He's been dead for a year now. Chris shot him. Come on, remember," Buck begged the dispirited eyes.
Perspiring and gasping for air, Vin searched Buck's face for the truth, before nodding as the fight left his body, "S-orry," Vin apologized as tried to get his breathing under control. "H- hate be-ing like this. Thought --it was--over." His bottom lip quivered as a tear escaped from the corner of his eye.
"You're allowed, Pard," Buck answered with a relieved smile as he used his thumb to wipe away the salty trail.
"Am I?" Vin asked, embarrassed by the weakness he had displayed to Buck. "I would've been aw-right if they hadn't put these damn thin's on. As ya said, it's been a year, I should be over this shit by now...Hell, I thought I was."
Sure that Vin was now under control, Buck sat down, thankful the doctor hadn't arrived when the sharpshooter was in full flight. "Stuff that heavy, never really goes away, Vin. Don't worry, Chris will be here soon, then--"
"He won't come," Vin repeated.
"Now, that's the second time I heard that from you. Of course Chris will," Buck argued.
Vin closed his eyes and remembered the last conversation he had with his lover and Chris's words came back to haunt him.
Didn't look like you hated it.
Or are you used to some other kind of lovemaking?
Maybe I should ask Standish what you like?
"No he won't," Vin whispered.
"Of course he will," Buck tried to reassure Vin, as light tap at the window, drew his attention. Ezra was standing in hallway, just out of Vin's line of sight. With a gentle touch to the sharpshooter's shoulder, Buck excused himself, "And you hold that thought Vin, I'll be right back.
Clearing the room, Buck looked past Ezra to see that the Southerner seemed to be on his own. Grabbing Ezra by the arm, Wilmington pulled him away from the hospital room window, "Where the hell is Chris?" Buck demanded.
"More important to me, Mr. Wilmington, is how our unfortunate friend is fairing?" Ezra asked.
"We don't know yet," Buck sighed as he tossed a fleeting glance toward Vin's room. "But, he would be a whole lot better if Chris was here, so I'm asking you again, where is he?" He asked again.
"To be truthful with you, Mr. Wilmington, Mr. Larabee could be in Hades for all I care." Shrugging out of Buck's grasp, Ezra straightened the lapels of his suit jacket.
"Damn it Ez!" Buck swore.
"Buck?" A woman's voice interrupted, "You wanted to see Doctor Hayward about Vin."
"This ain't over Ez," Buck whispered as jabbed his finger into the Southerner's chest, before he fell in step behind the nurse.
Ezra stood in the hallway watching Wilmington heading back into Vin's room, unsure what to do next, when Buck's stopped in mid-step.
"Well?" Buck sighed. "Hurry up, you're his friend too, aren't you?"
"Indeed, Mr. Wilmington. Indeed I am," Ez replied as he rushed to join Buck."
NINE
"Buck?" Vin whispered as the empty room seemed to close in on him. Hell, Tanner get a grip. Buck said he would be back. "He also said Chris would be here," he argued with himself, "and ya know that ain't goin' to happen." The sharpshooter didn't know whether to be angry, ashamed or resigned. He had been too happy, he knew that now. Pity was always a poor excuse to fall in love with someone and that is just what Chris had done, he had gone and felt sorry for this shell that Sleeth had left behind.Sleeth! He had to get away Struggling against the bindings, Vin started to panic. He could smell the leather that made up the binding that was threatening to choke the air from his throat. He could feel Sleeth's breath as his callused hands roughly... The more he moved the more his chest hurt; the more his heart ached, "Chris!"
"Mr. Tanner, please!" Doctor Hayward demanded as he struggled again..
"Out of my way," Buck demanded, as he pushed the doctor aside.
"I beg your...Who the hell do you think..." A sudden pressure on the doctor's shoulder spun him around, where he was faced with apparently angry stranger.
"Sir, I don't believe you have any idea of what you are dealing with here. So, if you would be so kind as to stand back here with me and this lovely lady, I am sure my friend can help." Ezra smiled, as his finger's dug into the doctor's shoulder.
With his teeth clenched in annoyance and in pain, the doctor looked at the nurse before standing his ground. He turned and watched as the other man start to slip the bindings from the patient's wrists, all the while talking softly in Vin's ear and was surprised to see the patient grow quiet and settle.
"I could have you thrown out of the hospital for what you just did." The doctor informed the two men.
"Yes you could," Ezra agreed as he lessened his grip.
"I could see to it that you are never allowed in this hospital again," the doctor continued.
"If that is what you wished, yes you would be able to do that too," Ezra nodded as he took his hand away.
Hayward watched as Buck continued to talk to Vin, stroking his hair as he whispered things that the doctor couldn't hear. "What happened to your friend? I saw the scarring," he admitted.
"What happened to Agent Tanner was in the line of duty and is his business, but I would have thought that having seen those scars, that you would have treated this man with some degree of a physician's compassion." Ezra frowned.
"Your right," the doctor said as he ran his hand through his hair, "Laura tried to tell me I was taking my work frustrations out on Mr. Tanner and I didn't listen to her. I apologize to your Laura," Hayward acknowledged the nurse.
Laura smiled, "I've heard worse, but I'm not the one you really owe an apology to, am I?" she nodded toward the bed.
Making sure it was all right with the well groomed man behind him, to return to the bed, Hayward returned to Vin's beside. With an embarrassed smile at the man standing at the other side of the bed, the doctor spoke softly to Vin, "Mr. Tanner, I am so sorry I put you through this. I really did only want the best for you, but my beside manner could have been better. I do sincerely apologize. I was just about to suggest before-- Well I believe surgery is warranted. Your injury doesn't look too severe, but you have some blood in your urine, which means that your injury has caused some damage to your kidney. I would like to get in there and repair it, but if you wish, you are entitled to a new doctor if that is what you want. No ill feelings from me whatsoever," the doctor conceded. "I could even give you the names of..."
"No, you--do it," Vin answered, "get me well --enough so-- I-I can leave."
"Are you sure Vin?" Buck asked as he glanced distainfully at Hayward.
"E-Everythin' hurts Buck," Vin bared nodded, "have to get well, or-- can't leave."
Buck ears picked up on the finality of Vin's last words, "Vin? What do you..."
"Tired," Vin whispered.
"Okay pard, I'll let it go for now, but we have to talk," Buck gave Vin's hand a comforting squeeze and was about to leave when he felt the hand tighten it's grip.
"Thanks, Buck," Vin mumered as he closed his eyes.
"Anytime, pard. Anytime," Buck smiled, as he silently vowed to find out what happened and hunt Chris Larabee down.
TEN
Buck couldn't shake the ominous shading of Vin's words, 'Have to get better, --or can't leave.' He never knew what was going on in Vin's head, but he knew the sharpshooter's thoughts were never as simple as they appeared. Chris was the only one that could truly read the flinching muscles in Vin's cheek, or translate the meanings to the sharpshooter's eyes. Only Chris really knew Vin and he wasn't here.Where the Hell was Chris? That particular question was becoming as repetitive as all the other questions that he had been asking himself since he first got the phone call about Vin.
"Mr. Wilmington," Hayward's voice was like nails on a chalkboard as it broke into Buck's thoughts, "I just thought I would let you and your friend know, I am going prepare Mr. Tanner for surgery now."
Buck reluctantly nodded his agreement, "Okay, don't see how I have much choice, but you understand this, once he is out of surgery, someone is going to be in this room with Vin every second, day and night."
"I don't think--"
"Sir, that ain't your job." Buck shot back. He was still unsure about this doctor, but if was what Vin wanted he would go along with it, for now. "Your job, Doctor, is to get Vin well enough to walk out of here. It's ours to make sure that whoever did this, doesn't get a chance to try again. We will , be in this room," He repeated using his best 'Chris' voice, "Six of us, or one. He's not going to be alone."
Resigned to the fact that this patient was going to have to be treated somewhat differently, the doctor agreed. "Okay, as long as you don't get in the way, you can stay. Now if you will excuse me, I have a job to do to." About to leave, Hayward felt a hand on his sleeve.
"And no more restraints," Buck added.
"No, restraints," the doctor agreed.
Laura walked the two men to the door of Vin's room, "Don't worry, Vin really is in good hands. Anyway," she smiled as she looked back at the doctor, "I think you have him scared shitless to be any other way."
Buck couldn't help but smile. If the doctor was scared of him, what would he be doing of Chris was here, "Thanks, Laura. You'll let us know, about..."
"Of course, but for now we all have some work to do. Excuse me," Laura said as she gently gave them a push out the door.
Knowing there was nothing he could do for Vin now, Buck turned back to Ezra and the other problem at hand. "Okay, now where were we?"
"Buck!" JD called as ran down the hallway.
"Damn it, JD, would you slow down will you," Nathan called after the panicked younger man, as he and Josiah followed in quick step behind him.
"But it's Vin," JD called back as he continued to rush.
"And he's not going to get any better or worse, if you slip and break yer neck kid, so slow down," Buck joined in as the other members of the team joined them.
Buck's voice had the desired effect and JD's feet slowed down but not his questions, "What happened? How is he? Can we see him?"
"One question at a time kid," Buck answered as he held up his hands for JD to slow down. "He was attacked by persons or person unknown. They are getting him ready for surgery now, and no, you can't see him."
"How bad Brother?" Josiah asked as he looked through the window into Vin's room.
"Maybe a broken rib, but the main thing is, looks like what ever they got him with nicked his kidney," Buck explained.
"How serious a cut?" Nathan asked as he joined Josiah at the window.
"They seem to think that it's not too serious, but he still needs some mending."
"Buck? I don't see Chris in there. Where is he?" Nathan asked, knowing full well that Chris would never leave Vin's side at a time like this.
"I was just about to find that out myself," Buck answered as he once more turned to the Southerner, "Well Ez, where is he?"
Ezra had enough of this, "You, Mr. Wilmington, give me far too much credit. I don't know where Mr. Larabee is and I don't care," he answered sharply.
"I'm getting sick of this double talk," Buck snapped and grabbing Ezra by the shirt, shoved the Southerner against the hallway wall. "For Godsake, tell us what happened? Where is Chris?"
"And I sir," Ezra hissed back, as he shrugged himself out from under Buck's grip, "am sick and tired of being repeatedly slammed against walls."
"Brothers please," Josiah called for calm, "This rancor is not getting us anywhere."
Running his hand through his hair, Buck took a deep breath, "Sorry Ez," he apologized, "I'm going nuts here."
"Apology accepted, Mr. Wilmington. My sanity level has dropped a few notches as well. I will tell what I know, which is not much. I had a visit today from a very upset Mr. Larabee, it seemed he," Ezra paused as he wondered how much he should tell his friends, before deciding they did not need to know it all. "and Vin, had had a slight disagreement. Infact, Mr. Larabee believed that Vin and I were engaged in an affair of the heart." Ezra waited for the team to digest what he had said and then ask the question he just knew they would ask. When they said nothing, Ezra couldn't control himself, "Are you not going to ask if it was true?"
"Hell Ez, we know it isn't true. I just can't believe that Chris would think such a thing. Anybody that knows Vin knows he loves Chris and only Chris," Buck replied before adding, "And you might be a lot of things Ez, but a man stealer ain't one of them. Can't believe that Chris would be so stupid! Why would he mistrust Vin like that?" he admonished his missing friend.
"I don't know brother, maybe while he fought so hard to heal Vin after everything that happened, he forgot that there were a couple of places of his own to heal." Josiah offered the only excuse he could think of that would help explain their friend's behavior.
"You think this goes back to Sleeth?" Buck asked the man the all trusted with the inner workings of their hearts.
Josiah shrugged as he looked into Vin's room, "That boy went through so much pain, but we forget so did Chris. Did we do enough to find out how he much was hurting?"
Ezra was about to explode. How could they make excuses for that man, after he treated Vin so badly. If they only knew how Chris had degraded the young sharpshooter, "I do believe that is a great stretch of anyone's making. While I give that, Mr. Larabee suffered, as we all did, at the terrible things that Mr. Tanner was forced endure, nothing excuses our leader's behavior with that young man in there."
"Well, good or bad bahavior or not, Vin needs Chris. He needs to settle this. He's drifting away again. Vin needs Chris to keep him here, stop him going back to that time. We can't let him go away again." Buck whispered the last part as the door to Vin's room opened and Vin was wheeled past them on the way to surgery.
Watching as their friend disappeared down the hallway, Buck straightened his shoulder's, "One of us has to stay here, the rest of us are going to get out there and find Chris."
"I'll stay and watch Vin," Ezra quickly offered, not wanting to see his boss just yet.
"Okay Ez," Buck agreed, "Now, lets find Chris and drag his sorry ass back here before Vin wakes up."
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