ONE
Chris could hear the commotion from the saloon halfway down the street. He moved quickly down the boardwalk and pushed his way through the batwing doors. And straight into the most upside down scene he could think of. Nathan and Ezra were together, kneeling by an unconscious man. The man was huge, with the look and clothing of a mountain man. JD was talking calmly to another man who appeared to be the mountain man's partner, or at least to know him. But, it was the sight of Buck and Josiah and the man they were holding that Chris couldn't quite figure out.
Vin Tanner was the most even tempered man he'd ever met. The tracker was never out of control and he never got into barfights, unless he was trying to break one up. It appeared that was exactly what he'd done though. And, it appeared that Vin had intended to make sure his opponent didn't get up. Chris spotted his hunting knife on the floor of the saloon. Vin kept that knife secure and the only way it got out, was if the tracker took it out.
Now, the even tempered, self controlled tracker was enraged. He was struggling furiously in Josiah Sanchez's strong arms. Buck was standing next to him with one hand on Vin's chest, talking to him, trying to calm him down. Chris thought, he also was sticking close in case Josiah's arms gave out. Vin was crimson and he was screaming. Chris had never heard Vin like this. He was usually so quiet, you could easily forget he was there. There was no way anyone who saw this would forget he was here. Vin was screaming the foulest obscenities and he lunged at Nathan and Ezra as they carried the still unconscious man over to Nathan's clinic. If Buck hadn't been there to help him, Chris was sure Vin would have broken loose from Josiah's grip.
Buck held onto the still struggling tacker until the object of his hatred was well past the saloon doors. Josiah kept his arms wrapped firmly around the tracker, while Chris tried to find out from Buck what had happened.
"What's going on here, Buck?" Chris's tone was sharp.
"I ain't never seen nothin' like it Chris. We were having a beer and I was telling the boys about a little gal I knew -"
"BUCK!" Chris interrupted impatiently.
"Yeah, sorry. That fella come in, and Vin got a look at him and went crazy. I don't even think the fella ordered a beer before Vin was tryin' to kill 'im. And Chris," Buck's voice was flat. "Vin was tryin' to kill 'im." The big man reached down and picked up Vin's knife and put it in the blond gunslinger's hand.
Chris sighed and turned to Vin, who was still struggling to get out of Josiah's grip. He reached out and took Vin's crimson face in his hand and forced it to where he could look Vin in the eyes. The pure hatred he saw there, shocked him. "What's going on, pard?" Chris asked, so low only Vin and Josiah could hear him.
Vin didn't answer. He just kept struggling to get out of Josiah's grip. "Vin, stop it!" Chris demanded harshly. Vin stopped struggling and looked at him with eyes so full of pain, Chris took a tiny step backwards. He'd deal with Vin's pain later. Right now, he had to get things under control. "Vin! Go take a ride and cool down! NOW!" Chris's voice was icy and left no room for argument.
Vin glared at Chris, the rage still bubbling inside of him. He grabbed his hat and stalked out. Josiah and Buck followed to be sure he didn't head for Nathan's clinic. Vin yanked Peso's reins from the hitching post, and hauled himself up into the saddle. Josiah and Buck exchanged uneasy glances as the tracker dug his spurs viciously into the horse's side and wheeled away at a gallop. Neither one of them, had ever seen Vin use his spurs, on any horse like that.
"Troublin' brother, troublin." Josiah offered thoughtfully.
Buck nodded in agreement, "Yeah, troublin."
Chris pushed a fallen chair out of his way, as he strode to where JD was still questioning the second mountain man. "What happened here, JD?" He demanded of the young sheriff.
"Chris, these fellas . . ." JD didn't get to finish as the fur clad man interrupted hotly.
"That man you let go outta here, tried to kill my partner, that's what happened!" He yelled angrily.
Chris fixed his icy glare on the trapper and told him coldly, "I was talkin' to the sheriff."
The man looked at Chris like he wanted to say something else, but he apparently had the good sense to know when to keep his mouth shut.
"Chris, I'm just not sure why Vin went crazy like that." JD told the older man miserably. "Chris, if that fella wants to press charges, I think I gotta arrest Vin."
Chris heard the pain in his youngest partner's voice. He knew how much JD liked Vin and that it would just about kill the kid, to have to lock his friend up.
Chris put his hand on JD's shoulder. He gave the boy the respect, of not trying to offer false reassurances. He knew that JD was right. Whatever any of them had done, before they came to Four Corners, Judge Travis would overlook. He wouldn't overlook what they did here. He'd made that clear to all of them. Chris motioned to JD to wait, as he spied Buck and Josiah coming back into the saloon and over to them.
"Vin head out towards Miller's Bluff?" Chris asked, knowing Vin liked to sit up on the bluff and just watch the desert at night.
"He headed in that direction Chris, but the way he was actin', I ain't for sure he's gonna go there." Buck replied uncertainly.
"What now, brother?" Josiah asked mournfully. He liked the young tracker and knew he could be in serious trouble.
Chris's eyes were troubled as they met his friends. "JD, I'm going to find Vin. He's probably out at Miller's Bluff. You wait for that fellow to wake up. You talk to him, and then you find me. Buck, Josiah, stay here. Keep an eye on things. We don't need any more trouble, right now." Chris turned, as if to leave, when Buck's hand on his arm stopped him.
"What if he won't talk to you, Chris?"
Chris smiled grimly and headed for the bar. "Inez, give me two bottles of whiskey." The gunslinger ordered tersely. "He'll talk to me Buck." Chris's voice was deadly certain, as he added, "one way or another."
TWO
Vin Tanner rode his horse harder than he'd ever ridden him, when he wasn't running for his life. How the fuck could this have happened? How could HE be here? He'd left Boyle and the others behind so many years ago. And now, just when he'd found someplace he could belong; someplace he felt safe; someplace where he had friends; people he cared about; who cared about him, Boyle was here.
Vin reached the small bluff and practically threw himself off of Peso. He tied the horse's lead to a small bush and stalked over to the edge. He sat down and pulled his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. He dropped his head and rocked back and forth. A keening wail began to pour from him.
He sat that way for a long time, until a soft whinny from Peso cut through the haze of pain in his heart. Damn! Vin thought bitterly, Boyle had poisoned his mind so completely, he hadn't even taken care of his horse. He got to his feet and stumbled over to where Peso was tied, apologizing to the horse in a low soft voice. "Peso, I didn't mean to forget you," he told the horse as he unsaddled him. Vin's hand brushed the horse's side as he unfastened the cinch and the horse pulled his head up sharply and whinnied loudly. "What's the matter boy?" Vin asked in his raspy voice, even as his fingers found the gouges his spurs had left. Vin was appalled at the marks he'd left on the horse. "Oh, Peso. I'm so sorry boy." Vin fumbled in his saddle bags for some salve he kept there in case Peso hurt himself. Well, Vin had hurt him now. His heart was so full of pain, that he didn't think he could bear it, as he rubbed the salve gently into the horse's flanks. He finished unsaddling the horse and then fished in his saddle bags for a couple of sugar cubes he kept as a treat for the horse. Vin fed them to the horse and rubbed his neck, telling him how sorry he was.
Vin could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, and he leaned his head against the horse's neck, willing Peso to understand that Vin was truly sorry. The big horse pushed against his face, as if to let him know that Peso understood. Vin couldn't hold back the pain any longer, and he cried against the horse's neck.
+ + + + + + +
Chris carefully picked out the trail in the dark. He didn't much like riding at night, and he was particularly unhappy about this ride. He had to confront his best friend and demand answers he knew Vin didn't want to give. But, Vin hadn't left him any choice. He neared the top of the bluff and pulled his horse up. He could hear Vin and he could see him. Vin was crying on Peso's neck. He wasn't just crying. Chris knew grief well enough, that he recognized it when he saw it.
Just what in hell had that man done, that hurt Vin so badly? Chris asked himself softly. He had no doubt the man had done something. And he also knew it must have been pretty damned bad, if a man like Vin Tanner was pushed to grieving over it. Not to mention, trying to kill him for it.
Chris sighed and pushed his hat further back on his head. He stayed back, not wanting to intrude on his friend's grief. He'd let Vin have this time, and then he was going to make the younger man talk to him.
+ + + + + + +
Vin cried until he couldn't cry anymore. The big horse stood quietly, as if he knew his master needed his warmth and softness. Vin pushed back from the horse and rubbed his nose affectionately. "Sorry about that, boy," he told him in his gravely voice. Peso snorted, like he knew and understood. Vin stood there rubbing the horse's nose and neck for a long time, lost in the past. He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there, when he heard the sound of a horse's hooves behind him. He stiffened and eased his hand down to his mare's leg, but relaxed, when he heard a familiar voice.
"Easy cowboy, you don't wanta shoot me, do you?" Chris asked him, just a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Chris, how long you been there?" Vin asked in alarm, embarrassed at the thought of Chris seeing him crying.
"Just got here," Chris lied easily, as he slid off his horse. He tied his horse next to Vin's and went about unsaddling him silently. Vin built a fire and sat down beside it. He stared into the flames, thinking. He knew Chris was gonna have questions, and he just didn't know what he was gonna tell his friend.
Chris took the two bottles out of his saddle bags, and headed for the fire. He nudged Vin's shoulder with one of the bottles. Vin looked up at him questioningly. Chris didn't say anything, he just nudged the bottle at the younger man again. Vin took it and stared back into the fire without opening it. Chris sat down close to his friend.
"You better drink it, pard. I got a feeling you're gonna wanta be a little drunk for this." Chris's voice was grim.
THREE
Vin opened the whiskey and took a long slug gratefully. He didn't pretend he didn't understand Chris's statement. Chris wanted answers, and he was letting Vin know, that he was going to get them. Anyway he could.
Chris waited. It was Vin's story and he had to tell it in his own time. They both knew that Chris wasn't leaving without answers. But, Vin already knew the questions. He didn't have to ask them. So, they sat silently drinking, until Vin was ready to talk.
Vin's eyes were enormous in the firelight, when he finally looked up at his partner. "I know 'im Chris." He told him quietly.
"I already figured that much out, pard." Chris responded plainly.
Vin looked at him and Chris could see the emotions flashing in his eyes. Pain and fear and hate and shame. Damn, he thought. Whatever, Vin had to say was bound to be as ugly as hell.
Chris had no idea how ugly it really was.
Vin started talking, and Chris listened without a word.
"I was just a kid. I was workin' in a liv'ry stable. Fella who owned it got me from the orphanage when I was 10. Old Miller was a decent 'nuff fella, he fed me reg'lar and gimme a place to sleep and clothes to wear, but it was just a business deal for him. He didn't have no notion, 'bout tryin' to be a pa to me, or nothin' like that. I stayed there for 3 years. I was 13 and cleanin' horse shit outta a stable weren't my idea of fun. So, when Boyle and his partners come along . . ." Vin's voice trailed off and his eyes were distant, as though he was watching his past unfold.
"Is Boyle the man you attacked tonight, Vin?" Chris asked quietly.
Vin nodded. "Yeah, he's the fella, was in the saloon. I never thought I'd meet up with him again, that's for sure." Vin took another long drink from the whiskey bottle and closed his eyes.
Chris waited silently. He put his own bottle down. Vin had something, he needed to be drunk to think about, much less tell. And when the telling was over, Chris was sure the younger man would need a shoulder. And he'd be damned if he was gonna be too drunk to offer his.
Vin took another pull and swallowed and began talking again. His voice was soft and bitter and Chris had to strain to hear him. "They come into the stable, and I put up their horses. There was three of 'em. They was real friendly, tellin' me stories 'bout how they was trappers and they traded with the Indians. Old man Miller told me, ta stay away from 'em, they was trouble. I didn't pay 'im no mind though. Them fellas was the most excitin' folks I'd ever met. Talkin' 'bout the mountains and places they been." Vin squeezed his eyes shut tightly and took another drink, before he continued, so low Chris could barely hear him.
"They asked me if I wanted to come along with 'em. And, I did. I went with 'em Chris. They told me not to say nothin' to Miller, on account of he wouldn't want to lose a stable hand, so he'd try to stop me. So, I didn't say nothin' ta nobody. They had a couple of ponies, they'd got from the Indians to trade and they let me pick one out. I musta been the stupidest fuckin' kid ever lived, cause I just climbed up on the back o' that horse and rode off with 'em. It didn't come into my head ta wonder, why the hell 3 grown men would take along a kid they never met."
FOUR
Vin stopped talking and drank deeply from the bottle again. He wouldn't look at Chris. It didn't matter. Chris felt like he'd been gut punched. He had a pretty damn good idea of what was coming. Only one reason he could think of, for 3 men to take along a good looking kid, like Vin must have been. Chris looked at the young tracker. Vin was looking off into the desert, with his face turned sideways. He was a handsome man, and Chris revised his opinion of Vin as a kid. Hell, he'd probably been downright beautiful as a boy. His heart heavy, Chris waited for Vin to lay out the words.
Vin drank more of the whiskey, hoping it would blot out the pain. It didn't. Vin couldn't bring himself to look at Chris. Chris was a smart man and Vin figured, he'd put enough of the pieces together by now, to know what Vin had kept locked inside for so many years. It all had to come out now. He couldn't push the hurt back inside, no matter how hard he tried.
He started talking again, in that soft bitter voice. "I had one hell of a time, them first couple o' days. We'd go about 15 miles and then make camp. It was a fine time. They gave me my first taste o' whiskey and I'd listen ta the stories they'd tell me. I was eatin' it up. God, I was stupid. They was just makin' sure there wasn't nobody from that town gonna come lookin' for me." Vin laughed bitterly, "Hell, there weren't nobody ta come lookin' for me."
Vin needed another long drink, before he could tell the rest. "The third day started just like the other two. Somethin' was up though. They was actin' real funny and they kept lookin' at me funny. I didn't have any idea what was up, but I was startin' ta feel real uncomfortable. Hell, Chris I was gettin' downright scared." Vin looked at Chris to try to gauge his reaction. Chris nodded grimly at him and Vin went on with his story.
"We made camp that night, and they told me we was gonna have a party. I was gonna be the guest of honor. They laughed. They thought that was real funny." Chris's heart broke at the pain he heard in the tracker's bitter voice. He had no doubt at all, as to the outcome of that party.
"They was playin' cards. And laughin'. And havin' a fine old time. And then Boyle yelled and shoved the other two, and I ain't never gonna forget it Chris. He told them, they oughta know better than try to beat him. He won and they was gonna have to wait their turn." Vin needed another drink. He felt cold sober, even though he'd drank nearly an entire bottle of whiskey.
"He took me."
FIVE
Vin's words were whispered, but they slapped Chris hard. He'd known they were coming, but when he actually heard them, it was like a blow. He waited for the rest, knowing it would only get uglier.
And it did.
"He hurt me, Chris." Vin's words sounded almost childish, as if the boy was speaking and not the man. "I thought I was gonna die, it hurt so bad. And when he was done, they took their turn." Vin needed a drink badly, but his bottle was empty. Chris saw and silently handed him the second bottle. He wanted a drink badly himself, but he wouldn't crawl into the bottle and leave his young partner to fend for himself. Vin needed him desperately right now, and Chris was going to help him, if it broke his heart.
Vin wiped his mouth on his sleeve and started talking again. "Them other two fellas couldn't decide who was gonna be next, so they did me at the same time. See this here?" Vin pulled his bandanna aside and showed Chris a small scar on his neck. "One of them fellas put his knife right here. Told me, I better be real nice and that if I so much as scraped him, he was gonna slice me open and hang me up by my feet like they did with pigs." Vin had to close his eyes again to keep the tears from spilling out.
"Chris, I was so fuckin' stupid. I hadn't never even kissed a girl before that. I didn't have no idea, you could do halfa them things, they done to me. I couldn't hardly walk the next day. They thought that was funny as shit. Told me I better get used to it. Fuck. There weren't no gettin' used to them. They was mean as shit and they hurt me. Not just at night, neither. If I made too much noise, if I didn't get the right kinda wood for the fire, hell, if I breathed the wrong way, they'd hit me or kick me. I'da let 'em beat the shit outta me every damn day, if they'da just let me alone at night." Vin smiled grimly. "That sure the fuck didn't happen. The worst was when I'd been with 'em 'bout 4 months."
"We rode into this little dirt town, just south of the Mexican border. Hell, it weren't even a town really. Just a saloon and a couple o' shacks. We tied up outside that saloon and went in. There weren't nobody in there, but a fat old man behind the bar and the ugliest, drunkest, woman I ever seen in my life." Vin took another swig of whiskey, before he went on.
"They was havin' a fine old time. Gettin' drunk on cheap whiskey. And they was feedin' whiskey to that drunk woman and she kept playin' with my hair, talkin' bout how cute I was. I woulda crawled under the table to get away from her, but they had other ideas. They paid that bartender for a room, and told me they had a surprise for me. I sure hated to hear that. I ain't never forgot the first surprise they gimme." Vin took another swig from the bottle.
"I hated even more, seein' that woman comin' up the steps with us." Vin closed his eyes, as if closing his eyes could block out the images in his head. Chris wished more than anything, that the gravely voice would stop, that there was nothing more to tell. But, he knew as surely as he was sitting there, that there was more, a lot more.
"They was real proud of themselves. Kept tellin' me how grateful I oughta be. They got me a real live woman." Vin was drinking from the bottle more often now. "Damn, she was ugly. I don't think I coulda done nothin' with her, if they wasn't yellin' at me. Wanted to know, how come I didn't appreciate what they was doin' for me? They'd spent good money and I had damn well better enjoy it. Fuckers wasn't foolin' me none. They just wanted to watch. Didn't matter though, I couldn't do nothin'" Another swig from the bottle.
" So, that woman she decided to help me. She's on her knees in front o' me and they're sprawled out everywhere, hootin' and hollerin' and watchin'. And, I was standin' in the middle of that room with my pants down around my feet and that woman had her mouth on me and I just wanted to die. She got mad cause what she was doin' wasn't workin'. She bit me. Hard." Another swig. "I almost cried, she bit me so hard, but I wasn't gonna cry in front of them. They got tired o' waitin' for her to get me ready. One of them fellas pushed her away, and grabbed my pecker. He starts yankin' on it, tryin' ta get it hard. Christ, it wouldn't got hard that night if they'da tied a board to it." Another swallow.
"They decided I must be one of them fellas likes other men. That's why I couldn't do nothin' with her. They did everything to me that night. And, they beat the shit outta me for wastin' their good money."
CONTINUE
