Thanks to the GooGoo Dolls for their song "Iris."
"It seems Mr. Standish would prefer not to have my company," said Mary sadly as she walked
with Chris towards Nathan's quarters.
Chris looked at her and asked, "why do you say that?"
"It's just," she stopped suddenly and looked at her hands.
He became slightly troubled, "has he done anything Mary? Said anything to upset you?" Chris
asked suddenly concerned.
"No! No," Mary said fiercely. "He's always been the gentleman."
"Well, then what is it?" Chris asked gently.
"He's so nervous around me, he doesn't talk, he doesn't try to engage me in any conversation. He
doesn't even try to engage me in a game of cards," she confessed disappointedly as they started
walking again.
Chris' eyes shone with some humor, "Mary," he said softly. "He's just being Ezra. We all know
him to be moody, and in his condition, being bed-ridden because of being roughed up, a fever and
Nathan's orders, he's going to be a 'bear' for a while."
She looked up at him then and gave him a very small but brave smile, "you're probably right," she
said as they entered the back room of Nathan's quarters, where he often took care of patients.
They both waited as Josiah emerged from Nathan's small care room. The tall ex-preacher grinned
at them.
"So who's it going to be?" he rumbled in a slightly good mood.
Chris' eyes twinkled at noticing the big man's cheery demeanor. He nodded in the direction of
Mary. Watching Josiah nod and smile at Mary, he asked, "what's got you so happy Josiah?"
Josiah's grin grew wider, "seems his little encounter has left him a bit unlucky in the game of
chance," he said referring to Ezra.
"How much'd you win?" asked Chris, now smiling too.
"About as much as I let myself win off of a sick man," said Josiah smugly. "Least he ain't dying,"
he added as an afterthought. He noticed Chris' unasked question and said, "I wouldn't have been
so merciful."
He and Chris began to chuckle. Then noticing that Mary wasn't exactly laughing along with them,
Josiah said, "sorry ma'am."
Mary looked at him and nodded stiffly. For some reason, joking about one of them dying didn't sit
well with her. "Well, gentleman," she began softly, "I guess I should go in," she said indicating it
was now her turn to stay with Ezra.
Chris and Josiah watched as Mary entered the small room.
"Say, how're you feeling Chris?" Josiah asked slyly.
Chris looked at the bigger man and chuckled softly.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra lay fitfully on the cot set up for him. Josiah had just recently left earning some money off of
him as they played a few short games of poker and he smiled at the thought of Josiah winning.
He'd actually intended it. It was after all Josiah that cared for him after the men that Ezra had
conned had left him badly battered, but thankfully not dead.
He heard voices outside and recognized them instantly; Chris stood out there, talking to Josiah
about something. But there was someone else. Before he could figure out who the third person
was, Mary entered the room.
Mary gave Ezra a small smile and went to sit next to him. "How are you feeling today?" she asked
gently.
Ezra's eyes followed her movements and he nodded a greeting before saying, "better." He turned
towards the window and watched the golden rays of the sun pour into the tiny room. By the color
of the sun's rays, he could tell it would be dusk soon.
"You gave us all quite a scare when you came down with a fever," she said.
Ezra didn't answer.
Mary watched him silently then said, "I've brought an Issue of the Clarion in. I wrote a story on
the new game of baseball back east," she said hopefully. "Would you like to read it?" she asked.
"Uhm, no. Thank you," he said rather uncharacteristically. Mary furrowed her brow in frustration
at his distant behavior. Ezra looked once again to the window, and away from her.
This was the second day that Mary had come in to sit with him. She, like Nathan, Josiah and Chris
took turns to visit with him and kept him company while the others were out of town. Vin had
possibly retreated to nature again and JD and Buck were out trying to find the men that did this to
him. And when it was Mary's turn, he realized that he hadn't always been convivial. He wondered
why that was. She did help care for him too, when they first found him. It wasn't that she bothered
him, he surmised, as she sat silently next to his bed. Well, at least not in an irritating way, he
justified. But she did indeed bother him.
And Ezra mused that she did so in a way that he dared not entertain.
He looked back at her and saw her disappointment. "I apologize Mrs. Travis, for my rather rude
comportment. It's not that I find your company unfavorable or such, I -- I just prefer the
tranquility," he paused and gulped visibly. "With you."
She studied him then, seemingly placated with such a sincere statement. "Very well," she said as
she picked up some knitting she brought in with her to work on.
Ezra sank back further into the cushions under his head and sighed as he continued to watch
Mary. He watched her hands move, they were thin and much too delicate for the West, he
concluded. He idly wondered how she managed to work the printing press over in the Clarion.
She was attractive, that he noticed early on. Her hair was as brilliant, he thought, as the sunlight
streaming in the windows, and by far she really was the most beautiful woman there in Four
Corners. But there was something more to her that always seemed to catch him off guard. Ezra
knew that her intelligence, her idealism, and her courage inspired him. To be a better man even.
And that did unsettle him, because it meant that he truly cared for her.
It wasn't love. He fathomed. It couldn't be, love he knew was something that involved both
parties. And by the way he'd seen Mary and Chris exchange glances at times, he knew, rather
sadly as it was, that his place in her heart was that of a friend.
He ruminated that a man could always hope.
"Mr. Standish?" Mary asked concerned.
Ezra broke himself from his reverie, "yes?"
"Are you all right?" she asked, rising to fetch him a glass of water. She saw him nod as she
handed him the glass. "You just looked so sad there a minute, may I be of help?" she asked in a
far too friendly manner.
Ezra observed her sincerity and felt his heart constrict involuntarily. He couldn't, no wouldn't he
avowed, let himself feel so much for her. He wondered what was happening to him, if whether or
not he was turning into a lovesick calf like JD. He snickered to himself as the thought of Chris,
Buck and the other men 'mooing' at him hit him.
He glanced at her lovely face.
"Mr. Standish?" Mary questioned again.
"Oh, dear Mrs. Travis, I do believe I may have taken a slight leave of my senses, due to the
injuries I've sustained and the fever. Please forgive me my bizarre and disturbing manners," he
apologized with a smile.
Mary was unsure if it was a joke or not, but could not help herself from laughing a little at the
bewildered look on his face. "No need to apologize again Mr. Standish. Really," she said
chuckling. "I suppose cooped up in here all day would make anyone daft," she added.
"Ah, but the best part madam is that I've been fortunate to have you keep me company," he said
smiling. "And I doubt if anything, you'd be the cause of my deteriorating into madness," he added.
"But instead be my saving grace." And in more ways than one he added silently.
Mary's eyes softened considerably. "You're too kind Mr. Standish," she said.
"Why?" he asked. "You're tenacious, intelligent, generous," he paused. "Beautiful. I should think
you'd cause many men to reconsider their ways."
"Is that what I've done Mr. Standish?" she asked curiously.
He looked at her and reached out to clasp her hand in his, "you've done so with me." He said
simply and truly. He watched as her clear blue eyes suddenly began to shimmer with wetness.
Mary sniffled slightly, forcing herself to be strong and hide the tears. "I was beginning to think
that you didn't quite like me Mr. Standish," Mary said somewhat shyly.
"Oh but I do madam, perhaps," he drew a shaky breath, "more than suits me." Ezra looked down
at the bedspread covering him, letting go of her hand; he suddenly found the patterns on it
immensely interesting as he traced them with the fingers on his right hand.
Mary was quiet as she let his words sink in and managed to drag her eyes from his handsome face
to her hands once again.
She looked at him and smiled.
"It is my opinion Mrs. Travis," he said as he looked back at her and returned her smile, "that you
do not smile or laugh enough."
Mary arched an eyebrow at him. "Are you now accusing me Mr. Standish of being a bore? That I
lack a sense of humor? Why, after all those lovely compliments!" she said in mock fluster, trying
desperately to suppress a giggle.
Ezra let loose a hearty laugh and watched as Mary too began to join him and laugh too. His gold
tooth sparkled as much as his green eyes. He was glad for the change of mood between them,
knowing that the subject of their conversations were entirely too serious, and too close to his
heart. But what pleasantly surprised him was that he may have been wrong about her view of him.
Mary stopped giggling abruptly; she had to know something about him. "Why?" she asked simply.
"Why what, Mrs. Travis?" he asked back.
"Why, do you constantly put yourself in such a dangerous position? I mean you're already
employed by the Judge, why continue to con other card players out of their money too? Does
money mean that much to you?" she asked suddenly becoming the reporter.
Ezra sobered from his fit of laughing and gazed at her before turning his attention to the window
once more. That was how she caught him off guard. Not even his own mother wanted to know so
much about him, she just always expected it. He cleared his throat and looked at widow again.
"No, money doesn't mean that much to me. Anymore," he answered.
Mary sat waiting for him to proceed.
"It used to at one point," he continued. "Sadly, I craved it. I needed it to live on. There were times
when all that mattered was that I had the money to look at, to feel the bills in my hands. That flaw
made it a necessity to do so well in the game of cards. And I must say that in my travels, in my all
too colorful past, there are some instances that are best left forgotten. But in those moments
where they seize me once more, I'm afraid that my faults once again lead the way. I am indebted
to those faults Mrs. Travis, for there were times when they were all that kept me alive."
Mary bowed her head in thought and Ezra watched her carefully. It wasn't that he needed to
justify anything to her. He didn't need to explain himself to anyone. Least of all her. He simply
wanted to. And that made all the difference.
Ezra sighed heavily, his broad shoulders pushing back further into the pillows. "But since
relocating here to Four Corners, I have had an epiphany, of sorts. Not only in my service to the
Judge, but also in regards to the other gentleman, this town, you," he paused searching her eyes
for understanding. "As trite as it may sound Mrs. Travis, this is my new beginning. I may appear
the artful con-man and gambler and hired shooter that rides with Chris Larabee and his 'company,'
but I am still, ultimately, just a man," he said plainly in his southern drawl.
Mary nodded and slowly went back to her knitting, as she considered his words.
They sat quietly in companionable silence for some bit. Ezra finally reached over and picked up
the issue of the Clarion that Mary had brought in and began to read it. He saw her small smile and
was pleased that his actions had elicited one from her.
Sometime later, when he had finished, "Mary?" he asked using her first name. "I was wondering,"
he asked softly, "if it would be possible, for me to visit with you. As a friend?" He saw a flicker of
emotion pass through her eyes and suddenly became nervous. "Forgive me, perhaps it is
inappropriate of me to ask," he added apprehensively.
Mary paused and thoughtfully considered his request, the act made Ezra even more tense and he
began to apologize, "Really Mrs. Travis, don't give it another thought -- "
"Mr. Standish, please don't," she said interrupting him gently, "I -- I would be very pleased to see
you."
He watched her smile. "Splendid," he said contently.
"Splendid indeed," she added, her smile broadening.
There was a light knock and the door opened as Nathan peeked in with a tray of food. Mary
turned and smiled at him and gathered her things. Before she left, she reached out and patted
Ezra's good arm.
"Eat, rest. I'll see you tomorrow," Mary said warmly as rose from her seat.
Ezra nodded as he watched as she left the room and ignored the curious look from Nathan.
+ + + + + + +
Mary greeted Chris in the warm night air in front of the Clarion.
"How did sitting with Ezra go?" he asked.
"Better," Mary replied. "Much better."
"Guess he's feeling much healthier?" he questioned.
Mary nodded and gave him a warm smile, the first one he'd seen from her in a while. "Goodnight
Chris," she said.
"Goodnight," he said as he watched her enter the Clarion and lock the door behind her.
The End
