Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.
Warnings: Violence, Angst, Slash, Sexual Assault
Summary: A case comes back to haunt one of the seven, as the others search for one missing agent will they ever be the same again?
Size: Approx 395K
Chapter 1 - 5 | Chapter 6 - 10 | Chapter 11 - 14 | Chapter 15 - 19 | Chapter 20 - 23
Chapter 1
Where is he? How am I ever going to make this right? Right? Hell Buck you can't make this right. The only thing you can do is find him, get him back to the rest of the guys and get out of his life. Buck couldn't stop berating himself as he searched for his friend, correction, former friend. He knew he should call the rest of the team, but what was he going to tell them? How was he going to tell them? As he thought about it, Buck realized he wouldn't have to worry about getting out of Vin'a life. If Chris didn't kill him, Josiah and Nathan would, unless they decided to let Ezra and JD finish.... JD. The thought of the younger man looking at him like he was one of the criminals they routinely arrested broke his heart, ripping another piece from his soul.He didn't know where else to look. He'd already been to Vin's apartment. After some careful questioning he'd learned that Vin had been there, but not for long. One of the kids told him that their sharpshooter had gone past them like he didn't even see them. A few minutes later, he'd come back out of his apartment, a backpack in one hand and the keys to his jeep in the other. Throwing the pack in the jeep, he'd jumped in and took off, speeding away with a loud squeal of his tires, something he rarely did and never when there were children playing in the street. Mrs. Rosario had come out then, asking if everything was alright, her deep brown eyes filled with concern for Vin. He couldn't tell her the truth, so he made up a story about needing to talk to Vin about Chris' upcoming birthday party. He knew she didn't believe him, he could see it in her eyes, but she didn't question him any further.
Though he hated to do it, Buck had called every hospital in Denver, followed by the police and the morgue. Nobody had seen Vin and there were no John Doe's matching his description.
His next stop had been Vin's camper. All he'd gotten for his trouble was a sore hip from hitting the ground, after getting tangled in one of the younger man's traps. He'd searched the area thoroughly though, in spite of the fact that the jeep wasn't in sight and there'd been no response to the rattle of cans when he'd tripped. Since then, he'd searched every other place he could think of. Even going so far as to sneak up to Chris', praying that the jeep would be there. His prayers had gone unanswered though.
Heaving a heavy sigh, Buck ran a hand through his dark hair, his deep blue eyes filled with fear and remorse. Taking out his cell phone, he finally made the call he knew should've been made hours ago. "Chris call the team together, Vin's missing," he informed his boss and best friend before he could say more than his name.
Chris had been relaxing at home, the first Saturday he'd had free in months and he was determined to enjoy it. "Damn, I knew I should've turned that off," he growled when the phone rang. "Larabee," he barked into the phone. His blood ran cold at Buck's words, the fear he heard in his friend's voice scaring him more than his words. Buck Wilmington didn't scare that easy, he also wouldn't ask for the team to be called together unless he was sure that Vin was in trouble, serious trouble. "What do ya mean missing? What happened Buck?" Chris demanded when his voice would work again.
Buck scrubbed a hand over his face, "I'll explain it when everybody's together, don't think I can tell the story more than once."
"Buck..."
"Chris please just get the team together," Buck plead, too heartsick to argue with him.
The despair in Buck's voice got his cooperation like nothing else could have. Tamping down on the fear that tried to rise up and take hold, Chris reluctantly agreed to Buck's request. "Do you want to meet at the office, or here?"
"I think the ranch would be best for now Chris. Thanks buddy," closing the phone, Buck leaned back against the seat. Moving his truck, he parked it where he could see the turn off to Chris' place, without being seen himself.
Nathan stood outside his house, pacing up and down the walk as he waited for Josiah to come and pick him up. With perfect timing, his car had refused to start, forcing him to call on his friend for help. "Damn it Tanner, what have you got yourself into now?" he mumbled as he paced.
Josiah prayed as he drove, Chris' call had him worried for both of his younger friends. He couldn't imagine what could be so bad that Buck could only tell the story once, but it scared him to the core. His years of working as a profiler were working against him this time, as his mind supplied him with all too many possible answers to the question of what had happened to Vin.
Ezra sped along the highway in his Jaguar, one hand tapping nervously on the wheel as he pressed harder on the accelerator with his sneaker clad foot. He had been planning nothing more taxing this weekend than stripping and refinishing an old coffee table he'd bought at the flea market. When Chris had called, relating the disturbing call from Buck and requesting his presence at the ranch, he hadn't hesitated. Literally dropping what he was doing, he hadn't even cared when the chemical soaked cloth had missed the plastic and landed on his wood floor. Grabbing his keys and wallet, he'd ran out of the house and jumped into his car, not even taking the time to change from his stained jeans and t-shirt.
JD was the first to arrive at Chris' ranch, having been the closest. Telling Casey he had to go, he'd been thankful that Nettie wasn't home. It had been hard enough getting out of there without answering the questions Casey had thrown at him, no way he could've gotten past Nettie Wells. They should send Nettie to Guatanomo, she'd get the answers they needed out of the terrorists being held there. Parking his motorcycle, he hurried into the house. "Chris what's going on?"
"I don't know anything more than what I told ya on the phone JD," Chris replied. "There's coffee if ya want some," he offered, nodding towards the freshly made pot. Before JD could say anything else, Ezra pulled up, quickly followed by Josiah and Nathan. Each of them came inside with the same question as JD, receiving the same reply from Chris.
Buck had watched them arriving, one by one, though he'd nearly missed the fact that Nathan was riding with Josiah. Reluctantly he turned the key, firing up the engine of his pick-up and driving down the road to Chris' ranch. The moment he stepped through the door, he was bombarded with questions about Vin as his friends crowded around him. Holding up his hands for silence, he pushed his way through them and to the coffee. Picking up the pot to pour himself a cup, he was surprised when gentle hands took the pot from his shaking hands.
"Let me do that Buck," Josiah rumbled, taking the cup as well and pouring the ladies man a generous cup.
Buck blinked, wondering where Josiah had learned to move so quietly and quickly. "Thanks Josiah," he whispered.
"You're welcome Buck." Patting him on the back, he moved away, joining the others in the living room.
Taking a deep breath, Buck swallowed a mouthful of coffee and followed him. "I know Chris already told ya Vin is missing. I already checked with all the hospitals, the police and the," he swallowed hard, "and the morgue. He's not at any of them and no John Doe's matching his description have been brought in. That's the good news," he paused.
"Out with it Buck," Chris snapped, what little patience he had was worn thin by the wait and worry.
"I went by his place, he had been there. The kids said he went past them like he didn't even see 'em and when he left he squealed his tires and sped off, even though there were kids playing outside."
"That don't sound like Vin," JD noted, his voice laced with worry.
"No it doesn't," Josiah agreed. Glancing around the room, he saw Nathan and Chris nodding in agreement. Only Ezra was still watching Buck, bringing Josiah's attention back to the man who stood in front of them, nervously running his fingers around the rim of his coffee cup.
"What other locales have you visited in your search for our wayward sharpshooter?"
"I've looked everywhere I can think of, he ain't nowhere to be found. Or he ain't nowhere I can find him," he softly added.
"Buck why are you so worried about Vin? It sounds like he left of his own free will."
"He did Josiah, but it's why he left and what he might do that has me worried."
Chris narrowed his eyes, looking his old friend over carefully. "Just why did he leave Buck?" he asked, a hard edge to his voice.
"You remember David Spencer?"
The name seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. "I'm sorry Buck, I don't remember."
Buck sighed, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It was about a year before you called me, wanting me to work on team 7. I was still with the Denver PD then, we had a real ugly case we were working. Several young male prostitutes had been tortured and raped, the last two had died at the hospital. We finally got the break we needed, our perp went after one of the undercovers we had working the area and we got him red-handed."
"David Spencer?"
"Not exactly," Buck said. "The rapist had drugged our cop, Spencer, not enough to knock him out, just enough to make him easy to handle. He got him out of sight, into one of the warehouses that littered the area. We didn't realize he'd been taken until...we heard him screaming as that bastard raped him. Soon as we knew what was happening, we started searching for him. We got there before the bastard could do anything else, but it was still too late to save him," Buck added, tears in his eyes.
"He was dead?" JD asked, his face pale as he listened to Buck's story.
"Not then, but he was damaged in ways that he never healed from. He tried to stay on the force, but he couldn't do it, always felt like everybody was looking at him, judging him. Six months ago he killed himself."
"That's unfortunate brother Buck, but what has that got to do with Vin?"
"I'm getting to that Josiah," Buck snapped. "Sorry," he immediately apologized, it wasn't Josiah's fault. "I didn't know that he was gone until last night."
"Vin?" JD asked.
"No JD, I mean David Spencer. His brother called me last night, it'd taken him that long to find me. He said at first he didn't even try, too grief-stricken to think of anything else. Once he did start thinking about it though, he knew he had to find me. He said it was the only way he could ever have any peace."
"Look Buck I'm real sorry to hear about this cop, but would you get to the point?" Chris growled, his patience at an end.
Buck jumped, though he wasn't really surprised by Chris' impatience. "Y'all know JD spent the night at Nettie's last night. He claimed Casey was scared to be by herself with her aunt out of town," he automatically teased. "Vin called a couple hours after JD left, the heat in his building had went out and he wanted to know if could stay with us for the night. I wish I'd told him no, but I didn't have any way of knowing what would happen. Calm down Chris, I'm getting to it, ain't easy," he placated before the blond could snap at him again.
"What did happen Buck?" Ezra quietly asked.
"David Spencer wasn't just an undercover cop, he was my partner at the time. He hadn't been working homicide very long, still pretty green but he trusted me to look out for him. I let him down," Buck softly added. "Like I said his brother called last night, he wasn't just calling to give me the news, he had something else in mind."
"He blamed you for what happened to his brother?" Nathan asked.
"Yeah," came the quiet confirmation. "He was right too, I should've been looking out for the kid better," Buck accused himself. "He ranted at me for a while about what had happened to David, telling me it should've been me that had died. There was times he was making perfect sense, in a twisted sort of way, but most of the time he was just ranting and not making any sense at all. Finally he seemed to calm down and I thought maybe he'd just needed to vent. I can't believe I was that stupid! I should've seen it coming, if I had Vin wouldn't be out there right now..."
"Seen what coming Buck?" Chris asked, a chill traveling up his spine.
"Spencer went real quiet and then he said that when he'd started searching for me, he'd been planning to kill me. He said he was in the perfect spot to do it too, that he had a scope centered on the window right that moment. I didn't believe him of course, until he started describing what I was wearing and describing the loft."
"Hell Buck he could've seen ya coming home and for all you know he'd broken into the loft so he'd know the layout," Chris pointed out.
"That's what I thought Chris, until he started describing Vin too. He told me exactly where Junior was sitting and what he was doing. Hell he even described the worried look on his face as he listened to my end of the conversation. Before I had a chance to think about moving he told me if I didn't do exactly as he told me, he'd drop Vin where he sat. There wasn't anything I could do Chris, Vin was sitting in front of the patio doors, the bastard had a perfect target. He said that if Vin tried to move from in front of the doors, he'd shoot him. I couldn't risk it, please y'all have to understand I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let him kill Vin, anything was better than that," Buck begged for their forgiveness.
"What did he want you to do?" Chris asked for them all.
"I...he thought Vin was my partner, he knew he was at least my friend. The way he saw it I got David, my partner raped, which led to him killing himself. He said that now that he was here, he'd decided there was a better revenge than killing me. Something that was more fitting than death..."
"Something that explains why Vin took off?"
"He told me if I didn't, if Vin moved away from the doors, if I did anything to get Vin out of the line of fire, he'd kill him."
"Goddamn it Buck, what did he want you to do?" Chris yelled.
"He told me that if I wanted Vin to live, I had to..." Buck looked around the room at his friends, knowing he was about to lose them all. Of course he deserved to lose them, he could only hope that they'd let him stay long enough to know that Vin was safe. Maybe he would even have the chance to apologize for what he'd done, not that it would help. "He told me to rape Vin or watch him die," he finally got out.
Chapter 2
Vin sat on a mountain ledge, staring blindly at the majestic scenery laid out before him. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind, only to be confronted with nightmare images. He didn't understand. Why had Buck done this to him? He thought he could trust him, all of them, now he wondered if he'd ever known any of his friends. How could he have been so wrong about Buck? What did it mean for his other friendships?The evening had been going fine, they'd been watching a movie, some old western, when the phone rang. He didn't eavesdrop on Buck's conversation, but he'd been unable to avoid hearing the anxiety and stress in his friend's voice. He'd shot a worried glance towards the older man, catching his eye and receiving a reassuring nod to his unasked question. Returning his attention to the movie, he purposely tuned out Buck's phone call, giving him some semblance of privacy. Then the call had ended and within minutes his world had been turned upside down.
"You okay?" Vin asked Buck when he rejoined him on the couch.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Buck snapped.
Vin gave his friend a measured look. If he hadn't known before, he certainly knew now that something was indeed wrong. "I'm here if ya want to talk," he quietly offered. He was careful not to push Buck, while at the same time letting him hear the concern in his voice. For several minutes neither man spoke, both lost in his own thoughts. Vin nearly jumped out of his skin when Buck's hand landed on his thigh, slowly moving upward.
"Maybe talking ain't what I want," Buck whispered, leaning in closer to Vin, crowding him against the end of the couch
"What are ya doing Buck?" Vin squeaked.
"Come on Vin, ya ain't that innocent," Buck scoffed, pressing against him.
He had fought back, but he couldn't get the leverage he needed. The entire attack had been surreal. As Buck worked to rid them both of their clothes, he had kissed and nuzzled Vin's neck gently, almost reverently. None of it made sense, how could he rape him while treating him with love and tenderness. Shaking his head, Vin reminded himself again that it was rape, he hadn't wanted what Buck had forced on him. The fact that he had been gentle, had tried not to hurt him, didn't change anything. Shuddering, Vin wished he could block out the next images that came into his mind. As though he had been standing outside himself, he saw his body lying on the couch, Buck pinning him to the surface. A sudden jolt of pain as fire raced through his backside, slammed him back into his body with sudden force. That was the last thing Vin remembered of the attack.
His next memory had been waking up in the bed of the guest room early the next morning, Buck seated in a nearby chair, thankfully sleeping. Carefully he had climbed from the bed, surprised to see that he was once again fully clothed, quietly he left the room. Once in the next room, he slipped on his shoes, making his escape. He knew he should go to the hospital, but he didn't want anybody to touch him. Vin knew he should report the attack, he didn't though, his years of living on the streets having taught him that the police wouldn't care. He didn't notice the irony of that thinking, at the moment he was operating on instinct alone. Instinct that was telling him to head for the high country, go somewhere to lick his wounds and consider his next move.
"Buck? Tell me you didn't...." JD plead with the man he considered an older brother.
"I wish I could JD," Buck sighed. "I tried to make it as easy on him as I could, but I had to do what Spencer said or watch Vin die."
"How long?" Josiah boomed.
"About six months now," Buck replied.
JD looked between them, he wondered if he was the only one missing something here, "What are you two talking about?"
"That's a good question JD," Chris glared at his oldest friend.
"I believe Mr. Dunne, that Mr. Sanchez is asking Mr. Wilmington how long he's been attracted to Mr. Tanner," Ezra offered.
"That's crazy Ezra," JD immediately protested. "Buck's a ladies man, everybody knows that."
"It ain't crazy JD," Buck interrupted. "I ain't strictly a ladies man and I've been attracted to Vin from the moment I met him, I've been in love with him for six months," he clarified.
"We will find him brother," Josiah assured him, understanding now just how hard this was for Buck. "You will have the chance to explain."
"One has to ask, why didn't you explain last night. I assume that Mr. Spencer would have left after the deed was done."
"I was going to Ezra, I didn't get the chance," Buck miserably explained.
"Goddamn it Buck!" Chris exploded. "Are you telling us Vin's been missing since last night and you waited until eleven o'clock this morning to call us?" Chris stood toe to toe with Buck, glaring at him, his eyes as cold as ice. There had only been one other time in his life that he had felt this kind of rage, and Buck had been a part of that too.
"No, god Chris, do ya really think I'd let that boy wander around, hurt and confused for that long?" Though he understood his friend's anger, Buck couldn't help being hurt by the doubt and accusation in Chris' voice. "After...Vin was out of it, shock I guess. I didn't know what to do, I tried to bring him out of it, but well I guess I wasn't the best person for that job. I checked him out, made sure I hadn't done any serious damage. Don't worry Nathan, there was a little bit of tearing, but nothing bad. I decided that after what I'd done I couldn't just take him to a hospital, not when he couldn't say yes or no. It felt like it would be another violation, so I got him dressed and I put him to bed in the spare room. I sat down in the chair we keep in there, figured I could talk to him when he came out of the state he was in. I must've fallen asleep at some point, next thing I knew it was eight in the morning and Vin was gone. I started looking right away, but well like I told ya I ain't had no luck." Buck looked around the room at the five men, men that until today he'd called friends, brothers, and he knew that his time with them was at an end. As for Vin, the most he could hope for was to be given the chance to explain, forgiveness wasn't even in the cards. "Can we please start looking for him now?"
"You think we're gonna let you near him?"
Buck's head snapped around. He had expected that from Chris, maybe Nathan, but not JD. "I ain't asking ya to leave me alone with him JD. I'm sure he wouldn't want that anyway, I'm just asking for the chance to help find him. Give me the chance to explain things to him," he all but begged them.
"He deserves the chance to explain JD, and Vin deserves to hear it from Buck, not us," Josiah quietly pointed out.
"Fine," JD snapped. "How are we gonna do this?" he asked, refusing to look at Buck. On some level he knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't seem to help himself. As he turned his back on his big brother, JD fleetingly wondered if he was angry because of what Buck did or what he felt for Vin. Pushing that thought aside, he reminded himself that Buck had betrayed Vin in the worst way possible.
"Tell us every place you checked Buck," Chris ordered. He was angry too, but unlike JD he was able to understand the horrible position Buck had found himself in. Though there was some anger towards his friend for not finding a way to avoid it, most of his anger was aimed at David Spencer's brother.
Buck quickly told them where he'd already been and what he'd found in each place. Though he hadn't found Vin, he hoped that maybe one of the other's would pick up on some clue he'd missed. Something that would point them in the direction Vin had gone. He had to find him, to explain why he'd been hurt by a man he'd trusted.
"Alright, here's what we're gonna do then. JD, you and Nathan are going to search these places," Chris ordered, writing down a list of places for them to check. Dividing up the rest of the places he thought Vin was likely to go, he gave one list to Josiah, ordering Buck to go with him. The remainder he and Ezra would search. "Check in every hour, unless you find him or something to tell us where he is." A chorus of yes sir's rang out as the men grabbed coats and car keys, heading out to find their missing friend.
"Nathan, do you think Vin's gonna be okay?" JD asked an hour into their search.
Nathan sighed, they'd just found out that none of the others had found Vin yet either and he didn't know how to answer the question. "I don't know JD," he finally admitted. "You heard what Buck said, if he's right then physically he'll probably be alright. I'm more concerned with what this is doing to him emotionally."
"Do ya think Buck is telling the truth?"
Nathan looked at JD, startled by the question. "Don't you?"
"I don't know," JD sighed. Turning his head, he stared out the window at the passing scenery. "Maybe if Buck wasn't attracted to Vin I wouldn't wonder about it."
"I don't pretend to understand it JD, but Buck didn't say he was just attracted, he said he was in love with him," Nathan reminded him. "Do you really think he'd willingly hurt anybody, especially somebody he loves?"
"I didn't used to think so, but I never thought he'd be in love with a man either. I just can't help wondering if maybe he made this Spencer guy up so he could do what he wanted to and..."
"And what JD?" Nathan snapped. "I can't believe you're even thinking something like that. You know Buck better than anybody how can..."
"I thought I did, now I'm not so sure."
Nathan's hand slammed down against the steering wheel. "Thought you were Buck's best friend JD, his little brother?"
"I..."
"I don't want to hear it JD," Nathan interrupted him. "I don't know if Vin will ever forgive Buck for what he did, but it wouldn't surprise me if he does. That boy is the most forgiving man I ever met and once he knows the whole story I think he'll try to get past it. Now are you gonna be a smaller man than the one man who has the right to never forgive?" Turning up the radio, Nathan cut off any possibility of further discussion, leaving JD alone with his thoughts.
Josiah watched Buck, his blue eyes filled with worry and fear for both of his friends. He'd seen the frantic way Wilmington had searched for Vin. Each failure seeming to take a little more out of him, his shoulders slumping lower as their sharpshooter continued to remain hidden. They hadn't spoken more than half a dozen words between them while they searched. He'd tried, but their resident lothario didn't have any interest in hearing any words of comfort or absolution. Like Nathan, he knew that Vin was a very forgiving soul, thank God for that. With the life he'd lived, the things he'd suffered as a child, Josiah knew Vin would've been a much different type of man if he wasn't able to forgive. He prayed silently that his young friend's gift wouldn't desert him now when he needed it most and that Buck would be able to accept it when Vin offered the forgiveness he needed.
"I must confess Mr. Larabee I am at a loss as to where to search next." Ezra knew that Chris didn't really need him to confirm they were at a dead end, but the continued silence was unnerving him. Three hours into the search and nobody had found any sign of Vin, not even a hint of a clue to point them in the right direction. He and Chris had arrived at this high mountain outcropping, overlooking a pristine lake, half an hour ago. It had only taken minutes to determine that Vin wasn't here, hadn't been here for a while, since then Chris had been staring at the water.
"There's got to be somewhere, something we've forgotten about," unsaid were the words, I've forgotten. Nobody could wear guilt like Chris Larabee, with each failure his guilt had grown. Guilt that he hadn't seen how Buck felt for Vin, something he could've talked to the sharpshooter about. He alone of the team knew that Tanner was bi-sexual, who knew what would've happened if he'd known how Buck felt. "I should've seen it," he mumbled.
"Seen what? Are you prescient now Mr. Larabee?"
"No of course not..."
"Then how could you have possibly known this would happen?"
"I should've seen that Buck was attracted to Vin, is in love with him."
"What difference would it have made if you had known?"
"I could've told Vin about it, maybe if he'd known him and Buck would've even gotten together."
"Do you have reason to believe Mr. Tanner would have been amenable to receiving Mr. Wilmington's attentions?"
Chris threw a startled glance Ezra's way, looking suspiciously like a deer caught in the headlights. "This don't go any further Ezra!"
"Oh of course not," Ezra promised, miming turning a key in a lock as he pressed his lips together, tossing the key aside.
"Yeah I got reason to think Vin might've gone for it. Can't be sure, but who knows."
"You're thinking is that if he had known, perhaps the two of them would have been a couple, in which case Spencer's plan wouldn't have work as well?"
"Something like that. Hell I don't know," Chris cursed, running his fingers through his hair. "Guess it don't matter now, they weren't together and now Vin is out there somewhere," he waved his hand in an encompassing manner. "He's hurting Ezra, feeling lost and alone, betrayed. How the hell are we going to fix this?"
"I don't know, but we will find a way. I would suggest that you remember one very important word in your question."
"What's that?"
"We," Ezra answered simply, for once not expounding upon his statement.
Chris nodded, "Thanks Ez," he smiled, clapping the smaller man on the shoulder. "Hey Ezra, what would you say Vin is like right now?" he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on something behind Ezra.
"What?" taken by surprise, he didn't know how to answer the question. Turning his head, he smiled as he saw a small red fox watching them warily from the safety of the trees. "A wild animal," he answered, understanding now.
"A wounded, wild animal and where does our resident falcon prefer to be?"
"Up high..." a look of comprehension passed over Ezra's face as he snapped his fingers. "He'd head for the highest spot he could find."
"Yep, and I think I know where that would be, come on."
Quickly they made their way back to the truck. Chris barely gave the engine the chance to engage before throwing the large vehicle into gear and taking off for the spot he hoped to find Vin. They didn't talk on the way, both of them focusing on finding Vin and somehow fixing the small family they'd built with team seven.
Chris grinned when he pulled up to the end of the road, there was Vin's jeep parked to the side. Parking behind him, Chris climbed from the truck and led the way up the path, following the tracks Vin had left on the trail. Now that he was close to finding Vin, he hoped he could find a way, that they could find a way to help him.
Chapter 3
"Back off," the snapped order, accompanied by the sound of a round being jacked into the chamber, froze Chris and Ezra in their tracks."Vin put the gun down," Chris ordered in his most authoritative voice.
"No," Vin stubbornly refused, keeping the gun leveled at the two men.
Chris swallowed hard, his mind racing with ways to get through to Vin. "We need to talk Vin, without the gun between us."
"Can talk just fine now," Vin insisted, the gun never wavering.
"Damn it Vin, put the gun down!"
"Why should I?" came the snarled response.
"Mr. Larabee, might I make a suggestion?"
"What?"
"As we discussed earlier, Mr. Tanner is responding instinctively," he quietly replied, being careful not to let Vin hear him.
Vin watched them, his eyes dark with suspicion as they spoke. Unable to hear them, his mind was filled with the various ways they could disarm him. Instinctively, he began to form plans to counteract whatever they might try.
"What's your point Ezra?"
"Perhaps challenging and ordering him isn't the best way to achieve our goals."
"Point taken." Turning back to Vin, Chris made a point of looking slightly down as he spoke. "Vin we'd be a lot more comfortable if you'd put the gun down."
"I bet you would," Vin snapped. "Make it easier wouldn't it?"
Glancing at Ezra, Chris wondered if the con man was as confused as he was.
"What would it make easier Mr. Tanner?"
"You know what," Vin replied, his voice heavy with accusation.
"I confess I don't and I doubt Mr. Larabee has any clearer idea than I."
"Ezra's right Vin, I don't know what you mean."
"Do y'all think I'm stupid? Think I don't know what ya want?" he spat at them.
"You think...god Vin how could ya think we'd want that?" Chris asked as realization hit him with sickening clarity.
"I assure you Mr. Tanner you couldn't be further from the truth."
"How could I think...why wouldn't I think it? Didn't think Buck would ever do anything like that either, why should you be any different?"
Chris' eyes widened, damn, he should've thought of this. "I don't know how to convince ya cowboy, all I can offer ya is my word that I won't hurt you."
"It ain't enough," Vin softly uttered words he never thought he'd say to Chris.
"Have I ever given you any reason to doubt me?" Chris calmly asked, while inside he raged against Spencer and the damage he'd done.
"No," Vin grudgingly admitted.
"Then trust me now, we just want to talk to ya Vin, I promise."
Vin nodded, "Sit down," he ordered, using the barrel of the gun to point at a spot several feet away from him.
Relieved that they were making some progress, however small, Chris moved to where Vin indicated and sat down. A moment later he was joined by Ezra, in spite of the mumbled complaints about sitting in the dirt.
Feeling safer now, Vin remained standing. "What do ya want to talk about?"
"We want ya to come back with..."
"No! I ain't going back there, I ccan't."
"I know you're hurting Vin, but things aren't like they seem. Please come back to the ranch with us."
"Ain't like they seem? So Buck didn't ra...hurt me? He didn't use me? Didn't ignore me when I asked him, begged him to stop?"
Chris flinched at the raw anguish in Vin's voice, silently vowing to track down the man responsible and kill him; slowly. "He did, but there's more going on than you know about."
Vin stared at Chris, hurt, even as he told himself he shouldn't be surprised by Chris' defense of Buck's actions. Glancing at Ezra, he could see by the look in his eyes that he agreed with Chris. "Y'all just go on back to your lives," he tiredly sighed.
"You are a part of our lives Mr. Tanner, therefore we can't go back to them without you."
Chris shot Ezra a surprised look before turning his attention back to Vin. "Ez is right cowboy. Please come back with us, let us help you through this."
He breathed a heavy sigh, lowering the gun. "I can't hear 'em Chris."
"Can't hear who Vin?" Chris quietly asked. Now that the gun had been lowered he noticed for the first time how close to the cliff's edge Vin stood, igniting a new fear in his soul.
"My spirit animals, they ain't talking to me. I been trying to talk to 'em, trying to find answers, but they won't respond."
As Chris listened to the raspy voice, filled with misery, his heart broke for the younger man. "Then come back with us Vin, let us help you if they won't."
Vin eyed him suspiciously, "You just want to help?"
"Yes Vin," Chris quickly confirmed.
"Ya ain't gonna try to, you ain't just waiting to take your turn?"
"No! No Vin," he went on, his voice quieter now. "I don't want to hurt you, none of us do and we won't let anybody else hurt you either. No matter who it is, I promise ya cowboy. Please trust us Vin, trust me," he plead.
Cursing himself for a fool, Vin reluctantly nodded, agreeing to return to the ranch. "I ain't giving up my gun," he firmly told them.
"That's fine Vin, you keep your gun if it makes you feel safer, but you won't need it."
"Y'all go first, I'll be right behind you." He'd return to the ranch, give Chris a chance to explain the unexplainable, but he wasn't going to put himself in a vulnerable position if he could help it.
With a curt nod, Chris turned and led the way down the path to the vehicles. He wondered if Vin would really come to the ranch and if he did, would he stay when he saw Buck's truck? Thinking it over, he realized that they needed some way to insure that Vin wouldn't run off before Buck could explain about Spencer. "Hey Vin, would you mind if Ezra rides with you?"
Vin raised an eyebrow, shooting him a nervous glance. "What's wrong with your truck?"
"It's too damned small for both of us," Chris growled.
"Indeed," Ezra agreed. "You would be doing me a great favor if you would allow me to ride with you Mr. Tanner. One might say you would be saving my life," he smoothly added.
"Alright, I guess ya can ride with me."
The easy acceptance raised Chris' worry another notch. There was no way the Vin Tanner he knew wouldn't have seen through their simple ruse. Soon they arrived back at the vehicles. Climbing behind the wheel of his truck, Chris started it, turning around so that he was headed back to the main road. Starting the engine, he waited for Vin to pull in behind him. Carefully he navigated his way back to the main road. Once there, he called Nathan on his cell phone, explaining what had happened before asking him to call Josiah and fill him in.
Following behind Chris, Vin was so busy watching Ezra and the road, he didn't notice anything Chris was doing. The closer they got to the ranch, the whiter Vin's knuckles grew as his grip on the wheel tightened. A hard jerk of the wheel brought his jeep to the side of the road, the tires sliding as he slammed on the brakes.
"Mr. Tanner...Vin, are you alright?"
"Hell no!"
"I'm sorry that was an incredibly stupid question," Ezra quietly apologized.
"I can't do this Ez," brown curls bounced, as his chin dropped to his chest, hiding his face from view.
"I must confess I am surprised, I never suspected you would fail to live up to the name Tanner."
"You son of a bitch," Vin snarled, turning rage filled blue eyes on him.
"Would you have me believe a Tanner would run?"
"Damn it!" the snarled curse and the slap of skin against the steering wheel were the only sounds to be heard. "You got no right to judge me, no right to accuse me of that."
"Vin you're my friend, I want to help you and letting you run away wouldn't be accomplishing that goal. You may hate me if you must, curse me if it will ease your pain but I won't apologize for using any weapon at my disposal in my effort to help you. The question now is; will you live up to the name Tanner and continue on to Mr. Larabee's ranch, or will you tuck your tail between your legs and run?"
The atmosphere at the ranch was tense with anticipation and anxiety as the men waited for Chris, Vin and Ezra to arrive. After speaking to Chris, Nathan hadn't wasted time telling JD what had happened, letting him hear it as he told Josiah. The young computer expert had glared at him as he heard the things Chris had told him. Turning away from Nathan, he had stared out the window, refusing to talk to the medic as they drove to Chris' ranch. Jackson had tried a couple of times to draw the younger man out, but JD had refused to talk.
When they had arrived, Buck and Josiah were already there, bringing a snarl of anger from JD. The car had barely stopped when JD threw open the door. Rushing into the house, he stalked up to Buck, punching him hard in the mouth. He smiled in grim satisfaction when Buck hit the floor.
"You feel better JD?" Buck asked from the floor, rubbing his sore jaw.
"You shouldn't be here Buck."
"I need to explain things to Vin..."
"You think he's gonna believe this bullshit story you're throwing around?"
"You think I'm lying?" Buck didn't move from the floor, he couldn't move, JD's words hitting him like a blow to the stomach.
Josiah and Nathan exchanged a concerned glance as the scene unfolded before them. Neither man moved though, willing to let Buck and JD work this out, but ready to move in if needed.
"Seems awful convenient that some man shows up and hands you what you wanted."
"I would never do that JD, not willingly and especially not to somebody I care about."
"We're supposed to just take your word for it?"
"It's always been enough before."
"That was when I thought I knew who you were."
Buck finally climbed to his feet, looking down at the man who was a little brother to him in all but name. "So is this about your concern for Vin, or your hurt feelings?"
"What are you talking about Buck? Why would my feelings be hurt?" JD's eyes danced around the room as he spoke, suddenly uncomfortable under Buck's intense gaze.
"Because I never told you that I like men as well as women? Cause I never told you how I feel about Vin?"
"I don't care about that," JD protested.
"Don't you?"
JD huffed out an exasperated breath. "Well then, why didn't ya tell me?"
"Because for starters it ain't none of your business how I feel about Vin. Second, I wasn't about to tell you or anybody else until I told Vin. The only reason you know now is cause of what Spencer forced me to do. Third, I don't make a secret of liking men, but I don't go around announcing it either. Besides, I mostly do go for the ladies. I'm a little more particular about the men I go for."
"You ain't never, um, thought about me..."
Buck chuckled, "JD that'd be about as close to incest as I could get. I ain't never thought of you as anything but a brother. You're a good looking man, but I just never thought of you as anything else, just my annoying little brother, who has lousy tastes in hats."
JD sighed, he was beginning to feel more than just a little foolish. "This Spencer character, he really does exists, doesn't he?"
"Yeah JD, I wish he didn't, but he's real."
"I'm sorry Buck, I never should've doubted you."
"It's alright JD, I can't really blame ya."
Back on the roadside, Vin stared ahead at Chris' truck parked ahead, on the road leading to his ranch, waiting for Vin to make the turn. "Ya don't play fair, you know that Ez?"
"I have been accused of such before, did you have a point?" Ezra dryly asked.
Vin sighed heavily, "I can't turn away, not if I'm gonna live up to being a Tanner. It's all I've got Ez, all I've had for as long as I can remember and I ain't letting Buck take that away from me." With renewed determination, Vin threw the jeep into gear and pulled back onto the road, turning onto Chris' road a moment later. Bracing himself for what was to come, he let his Tanner pride keep him going as he edged ever closer to the ranch. The sight of Buck's truck parked in the drive nearly destroyed his resolve, a small tsking noise from Ezra reminded him of what was at stake. Parking his jeep, he glared at the house, letting the anger he felt come to the forefront, he pushed the fear to the back of his mind. Slowly he unpeeled his fingers from the steering wheel, absently massaging his stiffening hands as he climbed from the vehicle.
"You can do this Vin," Chris encouraged him.
Vin nodded, swallowing hard as he spotted JD looking out the window at them. "You promise ya ain't brought me here so's y'all can..." he trailed off, unable to complete the question.
"I only want to help ya Vin, that's all any of us want."
"Why's Buck here then?"
"There's some things he needs to explain to you."
"You expect me to forgive him?" Vin snapped. His anger growing, anger at Buck for what he'd done, anger at Chris for expecting him to forgive the man, anger at the others for expecting the same thing. He wondered, not for the first time, why it was always him that was expected to forgive everybody for the things they did to him?
"No Vin, I only want you to listen to him. It's up to you if you forgive him and I wouldn't blame you a bit if you couldn't."
Startled, Vin stared at Chris, his jaw moving but no sound came out. "Really?" he finally managed to whisper. A nod confirmed the older man's words and Vin felt a bit of the load he carried lifting. The anger wasn't entirely gone though, especially the anger, no rage, at Buck . Squaring his shoulders, he slowly walked towards the house, letting Chris and Ezra go inside first. Taking a deep breath, he stepped through the door, stopping just inside the living room. His heart began to race with fear as he looked around the room, his breathing quickly growing ragged.
"Vin are you...I'm glad you're here," Buck softly spoke, taking two steps towards the younger man.
He heard Buck's voice, but he had no idea what he was saying as a roaring sound filled his ears. Vin's eyes widened with fear when Buck took a step and then another. With a cry of pure fear, he pulled the gun from his waistband firing one shot. Amid the sounds of surprise and one of pain, the gun fell from nerveless fingers as Vin's mind, overcome with too much stress shut down and he collapsed to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut.
Chapter 4
For a moment time stood still as five men watched the events play out before their horrified eyes. As though a switch were flipped, time sped forward the moment both Buck and Vin hit the floor, a red stain spreading over the side of Buck's shirt. With practiced steps the five moved into action; Chris was at Vin's side in an instant, checking the younger man for any injuries, while Nathan moved to Buck's side and the other's gathered a first aid kit and blankets."JD call an ambula..."
"No!" Buck immediately countermanded Nathan's order.
"Buck ya need to go to the hospital," Nathan argued. "JD go on now," shooing the younger man towards the phone.
"Damn it Nathan no!" Buck glanced over at JD, standing with his hand on the phone. "JD I don't need an ambulance, it ain't that bad."
"Now look Buck, I know it's just a graze but it's deep enough ya need stitches and it needs to be debrided," Nathan tried again.
"You do it," Buck ordered. "Chris, how's Vin?" he asked before Nathan could say more, his concern for the sharpshooter greater than any worry for himself.
"I ain't a doctor but I think it's just exhaustion and stress that made him pass out. Pulse seems steady, but a little fast, his skin is a little clammy, but otherwise he seems fine."
"Nathan, what's that sound like to you?"
Nathan sighed, he swore some days these men were gonna be the death of him. "Sounds like Chris is probably right, but we should take him in to be checked out too if he don't come to in a few minutes."
"I ain't going to the hospital Nate."
"Damn it Buck, ya need a doctor," Nathan snapped, exasperated with the man.
"No, I ain't..."
"Brother Buck, why is it you don't want to go to the hospital?" Josiah interrupted. He knew Nathan only had Buck's best interest at heart, but sometimes he could get so wrapped up in medical needs, he forgot to look at anything else.
"Don't encourage him Josiah," Nathan growled.
"I've hurt him enough," Buck quietly replied.
"How is it going to hurt him Buck if you go to the hospital?"
"They have to report gunshot wounds, don't they? What do ya suppose happens to him when the police start investigating?"
Exchanging guilty glances, all five dropped their eyes to the floor. It wasn't something any of them had thought about. For several minutes nobody spoke as they tried to come up with a way around the problem. They knew they couldn't claim it was a simple accident, something that happened while Vin was cleaning his gun, nobody would buy that.
"I ain't gonna do anything else to hurt him," Buck added. "You clean it out and stitch it up Nathan, please."
"I see your point Buck, but I don't like it."
"You'll do it then?"
Nathan sighed, nodding his head. "Let's get you into the bathroom, it'll be easiest to do it there. Chris, Ezra, y'all keep working on getting Vin up. JD, you fix some strong coffee for him, add lots of sugar. It helps with shock and I'd bet he's suffering from that, at least a little. Josiah, can you help me with Buck?"
"Come on Buck," Josiah rumbled, wrapping his arm around his waist and helping him to his feet.
Ten minutes later Vin finally moaned, just as Chris was about to haul him out to his truck. "Vin, that's it cowboy, open them eyes for me," Chris encouraged.
Vin could hear Chris' voice, but it sounded like it was coming through a tunnel. Keeping his eyes screwed tightly shut, he tried to make sense of what was happening. Why was he passed out on the floor? Did he have too much to drink? Had he been shot? Quickly he dismissed both ideas, there wasn't any pain in the right places and either condition would've had him in a world of hurt. "What happened?" he mumbled, a familiar ache flaring to life the moment he moved.
"Don't ya remember?" Chris asked, exchanging a worried glance with Ezra. Jerking his head towards the hall, he silently gave his orders.
With a short nod, Ezra stood and headed for the bathroom to get Nathan. He couldn't help wondering what they would do if Vin didn't remember what had happened to him. Would they tell him that Buck had raped him? Sure that if they did tell their sharpshooter the truth the team would disintegrate, Ezra was all for lying to him.
"Wouldn't ask if I did," Vin snipped, fear over what he felt driving him.
"Not real sure what's going on Vin," Chris finally responded. "Why don't we get you over to the couch for now, okay?"
"Yeah," came the whispered reply. Letting Chris help him to his feet, Vin leaned against the blond as they made their way to the couch. "Why do I feel like this?"
"Like what cowboy?" Chris asked as he lowered the younger man to the couch.
Sighing, he ignored the pain he felt, focusing instead on the rest of it. "Feels like the morning after the night before, like my brain's wrapped in cotton and my legs are made of jello."
"You're just exhausted Vin." Looking up he caught JD's eye, holding out his hand he accepted the hot cup of coffee from him. "Vin? JD made ya some coffee, think you could drink some?"
"JD?"
"What ya need Vin?" JD anxiously asked.
"Did ya put plenty of sugar in it?"
"Just the way you like it Vin."
"Thanks kid," he rasped, taking the cup from Chris and slowly sipping it. "Damn JD, how much sugar did you put in this?"
"Since when don't you like sugar Vin?" Chris asked, trying to hold back his laughter.
"I like sugar, but damn cowboy I think he used half the sugar bowl," Vin complained, trying to hand the cup back to Chris.
"No, you drink that," Chris refused. "You need it, sugar and all."
"What's going on Chris?" Vin eyed him suspiciously.
Chris sighed, "What do ya remember?"
Vin thought about it. He could remember coming home and finding out the heat was out. He thought he had called Buck, but if that were true then how did he end up at Chris' ranch? "Heat was out, I called Buck, didn't I?"
"Yeah you did."
"How come I'm at your place then?"
Chris looked up as Nathan came into the room. "Nathan, he don't remember anything past calling Buck last night."
"Last night?" Vin looked at Chris in obvious confusion. "It's only been a couple hours since I called Buck, ain't it?"
"No Vin, it was last night that you called Buck," Chris gently told him.
Nathan quickly asked Vin a few questions, name, year, president, nodding as Vin answered each question correctly.
"Nathan what's wrong with me? Why can't I remember getting out here?"
Nathan opened his mouth to answer, only to be cut off by Chris. "You and Buck were coming out here this morning and ya had a little accident. We didn't think you were hurt until ya passed out, ya must've hit your head."
"Is Buck okay? Was I driving?" Vin asked with a guilty start.
"Buck was driving, he just got a good scrape on his side. Ain't neither of ya hurt bad, you know if ya were Nate would insist on ya going to the hospital."
"Where's Buck then?"
"He's just in the bathroom getting cleaned up. JD, go get Buck, let him know what's going on."
"Yeah, okay Chris," JD stuttered uncertainly. Hurrying to the bathroom, he slammed open the door, nearly running into the room.
Buck's attention snapped to the door as JD raced through it, quickly shutting it behind him. Instantly he was moving to his feet, only to be shoved back down by Josiah. "What's wrong JD?" he anxiously demanded.
"Chris said to come get ya," JD panted. "Vin don't remember anything Buck, not after calling you about staying at our place."
"Nothing?" Buck was glad he was sitting down, sure that he would've fallen if he hadn't been.
"Nothing," JD confirmed. "Buck there's something else ya need to know," he began, licking his lips nervously. "Chris told him that you guys had an accident on your way out here and that's why he can't remember."
"He what?" Buck roared, coming to his feet in spite of Josiah's hold on his shoulder.
"He told Vin that you were driving and ya scraped your side up in the wreck, but you're not hurt bad."
"Why would he do that?"
"I don't know Buck but I guess he figured it was better since Vin don't remember what really happened," JD shrugged helplessly.
Buck stared at JD, trying to wrap his mind around Chris' thinking. Hanging his head, he took a deep shuddering breath, his thoughts racing through his mind as he tried to figure out what to do. The problem was, he couldn't for the life of him think of anything better than what Chris had come up with. "Josiah, what do you think?"
What did he think? That was the 64,000 dollar question. Josaih didn't know what to think. Certainly he could understand Chris' thinking and on one level he agreed with him. However, he couldn't help thinking about what would happen if Vin remembered someday. As bad as the situation had been, there was an explanation for Buck's seeming betrayal but how would they justify this betrayal if they went through with it. "I don't know Buck. If we don't tell Vin the truth, it could save your friendship and the team, but if he ever remembers..."
"It's gonna blow up in our faces," Buck dejectedly finished for him.
"If I might interject, there is some information you're missing Mr. Wilmington."
"What's that Ezra?" Buck tiredly asked.
"Were you aware that Vin is also bi-sexual?"
"He is?" three voices asked as one.
"According to Mr. Larabee, he is indeed. Perhaps Mr. Wilmington you should view this as an even greater blessing than it first appeared."
"Just what is it you're suggesting Ezra?"
"I believe you know what I'm suggesting Mr. Wilmington. However if you need it spelled out for you, this could be an opportunity for you to woo Mr. Tanner, if you will. If the two of you are able to establish a relationship it would defeat Spencer's intent and may solidify Vin's memory loss."
Buck considered the idea for all of thirty seconds before completely rejecting it. "No, I won't do that to him. We can't have any kind of relationship anyway if it's built on lies. Maybe his memory loss could help some though."
"What are you thinking Buck?" Josiah asked.
"Well he don't remember so I can explain everything in the order it happened. It might be the only chance I'll have of getting him to listen long enough for me to tell him the whole story." He jumped as Chris yelled from the living room, catching him off-guard. "Sounds like we better get out there."
Vin looked up from the couch as the others walked into the room. "You okay Buck?"
"I'm fine Vin, how're you feeling?"
Vin shrugged, "Okay I guess. Chris said we had an accident..."
"Um, yeah...look Vin we need to talk about that."
"It's okay Buck, ain't no need for ya to feel guilty, accidents happen."
"Uh, thanks Vin," Buck looked away. Damn Chris for lying to Vin, how was he supposed to tell him now? "Chris could I talk you in the kitchen?" Turning around, he high-tailed it to the kitchen with Chris hot on his heels. "Why did you do that Chris?"
"Would ya rather I told him the truth?"
"Hell no, but now what do I do?" Buck asked, scrubbing his hand through his hair.
"Find Spencer, make sure he pays for what he did and pray Vin never finds out the truth."
Buck looked at Chris, the cold stare he saw somehow not surprising him. "And what if he does?"
"We deal with that when and if it happens."
Buck's hand slammed down on the counter, "Damn it Larabee! You can't go around making decisions like that for other people."
"I didn't plan it Buck, but the opportunity came and well it just seemed like the best way to at least buy you some time."
"Time? Time for what?"
"Time to prove to Vin he can trust ya. Time to maybe get a relationship started with him, time to find Spencer and do what ya have to."
"Why wouldn't I trust Buck?" Vin asked from the doorway, startling both men.
"Vin, how long have ya been standing there?" Buck asked when he found his voice.
"Ya should be sitting down Vin, ya need to rest," Chris tried to deflect him. "Nathan shouldn't have let you get up," he added, glaring at the medic.
"We tried to..."
"Don't you be getting on to Nathan or nobody else Chris. What are y'all hiding from me?"
"What makes ya think we're..."
"No Chris," Buck interrupted. "He deserves the truth. Vin can we go back into the other room and talk?"
"Yeah, okay," Vin agreed. Casting a confused glance at the taller man, he had the feeling that maybe he shouldn't have demanded to know what they were keeping from him. Did they know who was responsible for the ache he felt? Was it somebody he knew? Was that why everybody was acting so weird? Walking back into the other room, he flopped down on the couch. Expecting Buck to join him, he was surprised when he chose to sit down in a recliner instead. He watched as Buck sat in the chair, his head resting in his hands. He'd never seen a man look so weighted down. The rest of the team were there, but they were hanging back, giving him and Buck some time alone, while still being available if they were needed. Ten minutes passed with nobody saying anything, another ten and Vin was becoming nervous, five more and he was strung tighter than a bow string. "You said I deserve the truth Buck, you gonna tell me?" he finally asked.
"I don't know where to start."
"Whatever it is Bucklin we can get through it together," he assured, his mind shying away from what the clues were telling him. "Why don't ya start at the beginning," he quietly suggested when no words were forthcoming.
Buck heaved a heavy sigh, the beginning, yeah but first there was something he had to say. "Before I do that Vin there's something ya got to understand. Chris was just trying to help, I don't want ya blaming him for that."
"Alright Buck, I won't," Vin quietly assured him.
Buck nodded, taking a deep breath he began to try to explain the events that had led them to this point. "You know I used to be a cop."
"Yeah?"
"Well, about a year before Chris asked me to join team 7 there was an incident. Damn, that don't even begin to cover it."
"This incident have something to do with what ya said in the kitchen?"
"Yeah it does," Buck sighed. "There was this guy, he'd been raping and torturing male prostitutes. A couple of them had died and we were trying our damndest to find the bastard."
"Did ya?"
"Yeah, but not before he got one of our undercover officers. He was just a kid really, a rookie by the name of David Spencer. We didn't realize the guy had him until we heard him screaming."
"He died?" Vin softly questioned.
"Not then," Buck replied. Savoring the concern he heard in Vin's voice, he wondered if he'd ever hear it again. "We got there in time to save his life, but not before that animal raped him."
Vin shuddered, knowing all too well what the kid had gone through. "What happened to him?"
"He killed himself six months ago, but I didn't know that until last night," Buck shamefully confessed.
"Lost track of him?"
"Yeah, he left the force not long after it happened, just couldn't take being there."
"I'm real sorry to hear about your friend Buck, but I don't understand what that has to do with me trusting you."
"He wasn't really my friend, didn't know him that well, but he was my partner."
"Kind of suspected as much."
"Last night his brother contacted me, told me what happened to David..."
"He blames you?"
"Yeah and he wanted to get even."
"I got caught in the middle didn't I?" Vin thought he understood now why Buck thought he might not trust him. Hell Buck ought to know better, it wasn't like it was the first time somebody from one of their pasts had used one of them to get even.
"You did, he wanted..."
"It don't matter Buck," Vin cut him off. "I ain't blaming you for whatever he did, ya ain't got to torture yourself with the details."
"You need to know Vin," Buck insisted, in spite of the fact that telling him was the last thing he wanted.
"No I don't Buck, just leave it." Standing up, Vin gave Buck's shoulder a squeeze as he passed by him. "I'm gonna go check on Peso, and Buck, we're okay, don't worry about it."
Buck watched him go, his eyes filled with amazement and love. "Now what am I gonna do?" he asked them all.
"Ya tried Buck, if he won't let ya tell him there ain't nothing you can do about it," was Chris' opinion.
"You really think that'll fly when he finally remembers everything?" Buck asked.
"Ain't anything else you can do right now Buck, ya can't force him to listen."
"You're wrong, there is one thing I can do," Buck growled, pushing himself to his feet. "I can find Spencer and make sure he pays for what he did. Right now, that's the only thing I can do to make any of this right." Without another word, he stalked out of the house and to his truck.
Outside in the barn, Vin leaned against Peso, his face buried against the horse's neck. At least now he knew for sure where the soreness he'd been feeling since he'd first gotten to his feet came from. This Spencer fella must've raped him, probably made Buck watch. "He ain't getting away with it Peso," he vowed. He knew the others wouldn't want him to leave, especially Chris and Nathan, but there wasn't any way he was going to let them stop him. He hadn't been a Ranger and later a bounty hunter for nothing. He'd sneak away from the guys, find David Spencer's brother and make him pay for what he'd done.
Chapter 5
Buck drove away from Chris' ranch, determined to find David Spencer's brother and make him pay for what he'd done. Vin might have blocked out what had happened, but he hadn't, God knew he wished he could. He'd give anything to be able to block out the memory of Vin begging him to stop, the sound of him screaming when he entered him. The worst though, the worst was the look of absolute betrayal that blossomed in his dark blue eyes. "Damn you Spencer! Why couldn't you have just gone after me? Why did ya have to drag him into it?" Giving himself a mental shake, Buck forced his focus back onto his driving. There was no point in asking his questions now, but when he found Spencer he'd ask them, and he'd better get some answers. Turning his truck towards Denver, Buck headed for his old preceint house."Vin, are you okay?" Chris asked as he stepped into the barn.
"I'm fine Chris, just seeing to my horse," Vin answered, without looking at him.
"It'd be easier to believe that if you'd look at me."
Leaning his head against his horse's flank, Vin heaved a sigh. Looking up, he met Chris' eyes, "I'm fine Chris."
"Uh-huh. Want a drink?" Chris offered, holding up a pair of shot glasses and a bottle.
Vin laid aside the curry comb. Stepping over to a bale of hay, he sat down. Holding the glass of whiskey, he stared into its depths. He wondered if he'd find any answers in it, snorting derisively,
e shook his head.
Leaning against the stall, Chris arched an eyebrow, "What?"
"Just wondering if I'd find any answers in here," he answered, lifting his glass.
"I never did."
"Then what'd ya bring it out here for?"
"Thought maybe you could use it," Chris replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Why'd you lie to me Chris?"
It was Larabee's turn to sigh, "
idn't want to see the team torn apart. Seemed like you not remembering was maybe a blessing in disguise."
"So you were just protecting the team?"
"No, not just the team. I was protecting you too, and Buck. Forgive me?"
"Guess I can't blame ya for wanting to protect us, it's part of who you are."
"Thanks cowboy."
"Just don't ever do it again Chris. I might not like the truth, but I can handle it, it's being lied to I can't take. Especially when it's a friend doing the lying, no matter what the reason."
"I'll remember that."
"Feeling kind of tired, ya mind if I use the guest room?"
"Help yourself."
"Thanks." Handing the glass back to Chris, Vin made his way inside. Ignoring everybody else, he walked down the hall, flopping down onto the bed in the guest room. Ten seconds after he laid down, he heard Chris come inside. He couldn't hear what they were saying, only muffled voices, but he could guess. JD would want to know if he was mad, Josiah would ask if he needed to talk and Chris would tell them both he didn't think so. Nathan would only want to know if he had said anything before he came inside, was he acting like he didn't feel good. When Chris repeated his words, Nathan would make a beeline for the bedroom. 10...9...8...7...Vin mentally counted down, as he reached 1 the door swung open. "Right on time Nate."
"Huh? On time for what?"
"I'm okay Nathan, just tired," Vin assured him, ignoring the question.
"Why don't you let me decide that?"
"Don't ya think I know when there's something wrong?"
"Yep, I just don't think you'll tell me," Nathan replied as he picked up Vin's wrist. "Well you seem okay," he said a few minutes later.
Vin bit back the urge to say told ya so, "Could I get some rest now?"
"Yeah Vin, you go ahead. I'll make sure nobody bothers ya."
"Thanks." Rolling onto his side, Vin closed his eyes and waited for Nathan to leave the room.
"He okay Nathan?"
"As far as I can tell Chris he's just tired."
"That normal?"
"For somebody who was in a state of shock not long ago and who probably ain't slept all night, I'd say so."
"Good. Can you and Josiah stay here to keep an eye on him?"
"Yeah," both men answered simultaneously. "Where are you going to be?"
"I'm going after Buck," Chris replied, grabbing his jacket and keys. "I'm pretty sure I know where he's going, but just in case I'm wrong I want JD to check the apartment."
"Sure thing Chris."
"Ezra?"
"Sir?"
"Could you go talk to your snitches, see if any of them have heard anything on the street about Spencer? I don't really expect they have, but I want to cover all the bases."
"Of course," Ezra replied, tipping an imaginary hat his way.
Vin listened to the sounds from the other room, the muffled voices, the jangling keys and soon the front door opening and closing. Three vehicles started up and left, the tires crunching on the gravel drive as they pulled away. Patiently he waited for the two men who were left to settle down and forget about him. After awhile the muffled conversation stopped and the tv came on. Forty-five minutes after Chris and the others had left, Vin quietly opened the bedroom window. Slipping through it, he landed on the ground with cat like grace. Moving quietly, he disabled both of their vehicles. He knew it wouldn't take them long to figure out what he'd done and fix it, but by then he'd be out of sight. Jumping into his jeep, he fired it up. Ignoring the calls of his friends, he threw it into first, and sped out of the drive.
"Come on we'll take my car," Nathan quickly decided. Sliding behind the wheel, he turned the key. His head dropped to rest on the steering wheel, "What do ya think he did?"
"No telling, but you can bet mine won't start either," Josiah replied. Climbing out of Nathan's car, he walked over to his own and turned the key, not surprised when nothing happened. Pulling the lever, he popped the hood. "Distributor cap's missing," he called to Nathan.
"Mine too," Nathan confirmed from under his own hood. "Where ya figure he tossed 'em?"
Josiah looked around, his hands resting on his hips as he tried to see into Vin's mind. "I don't figure he wanted to strand us for long, just wanted a head start."
"Makes sense."
"So he wouldn't want to make it too hard to fine them...there," Josiah pointed to a row of shrubs near the porch.
"Worth a try." Walking over to the bushes, Nathan began to search them. "Bingo," he grinned, standing up with a distributor cap in each hand. Tossing Josiah's to him, he hurried back to his own car and got busy. Finishing, he straightened up and walked over to Josiah, leaning against the fender, he watched the profiler as he finished reattaching his distributor cap. "So...flip ya for it," he offered.
"Huh?" Josiah distractedly asked.
"Somebody has to call Chris and tell him that our bird flew the coop," Nathan clarified as he pulled a coin from his pocket. "Loser makes the call, heads or tails?"
With a sigh, Josiah lightly shook his head, "Tails."
"Damn, I should just give up, I never win."
Josiah grinned, "Have fun brother." Clapping him on the back, he slammed the hood shut and climbed behind the wheel before Nathan could protest.
Phillip Spencer sat in the vacant warehouse where's his brother's life had ended. This hadn't been where he'd committed suicide. No, that he had done in their mother's basement. The sound of his mother's anquished scream echoed in his head as that day replayed one more time in his mind. He would never forget that sound, or the shattered look on his mother's face as he ran down the stairs. "God Davey, why did you have to do that? Why didn't you let us help you?" He knew the answer though, he hadn't been able to accept their help. No matter how many times they told him otherwise, he just wouldn't believe that he deserved their help. They had tried, both of them had done everything they could think of, but nothing helped. His little brother had never gotten over feeling dirty and used. Davey might have stopped breathing that day in the basement, but his life had ended here, the day that bastard had raped him. Wiping away the tears that streaked his face, he went on. "I got you some justice Davey," he whispered, his fingers tracing over his brother's face as he stared back at him from the picture. "You were so proud the day you made detective. You would've been one of the best too. I take it back, you would've been the best! Too bad you didn't have the best guarding your back that day. Damn him!" he cursed. " I got him though Davey, Wilmington paid in spades for what you suffered. I was gonna kill him ya know, even planted some bugs in his apartment just so I could listen to him dying. Had it all planned out, I was across the street, had a perfect view into his living room. I was going to call him, tell him who I was and why he was dying. Then I was gonna shoot him little brother, not in the head or the heart though. Was going to gut shoot him, make sure he suffered before he died. Then that friend of his showed up, heard them talking and figured out this guy was on the same ATF team he was on. I knew what I had to do, it was the perfect revenge for what he'd done." He paused to take a drink from his beer, "I called him, told him who I was and what you'd done. I don't remember what all I said, but I sure gave him a hell of a cussing. Probably would've made ya blush to hear it Davey," he teased. "Then I told him I had a perfect shot at his friend and if he wanted him to live, he'd do what I said. I made sure he knew there were bugs in the place, couldn't have him telling the guy what was really happening after all. You'll love this little brother," he chortled. "I told him that if he didn't rape his buddy, then I'd shoot him where he sat, his buddy not him. He didn't want to do it, but I didn't give him any choice, not if he wanted his friend to live. I got the recording right here Davey," he patted his shirt pocket. "Them bugs worked real good, they picked up everything and I mean everything. I admit I feel sorry for his friend, he was an innocent in all of this, just like you. But I had to make Wilmington pay, you understand that don't you Davey? Good, I knew ya would. Want to hear the tape? The best part is afterwards, when he's trying to talk to his friend. I swear to ya Davey, Wilmington was crying while he was apologizing. Didn't do him any good, fella was out of it, shock I imagine. Ain't that what they said was wrong with you when we came to the hospital that day? That's why ya wouldn't talk, just kind of stared off into space. That's what his buddy was doing, don't know what happened after that. I took off, figured I'd better before Wilmington decided to come looking for me. To you baby brother," raising his beer in a toast, "maybe now you can rest in peace."
Buck walked up to the door of the Spencer home. He'd already checked at Phillip Spencer's apartment and his job, of course it couldn't be that easy. Buck sure hoped Spencer's mother would know where he was, if she didn't he was out of ideas. Raising his hand, he knocked on the wood screendoor.
"Yes, can I help you?" Mrs. Spencer asked, looking up at him, her brown eyes sharp and suspicious.
"I sure hope so ma'am. My name's Buck Wilmington and..." that was as far as he got.
"You've got a lot of nerve coming around here Mr. Wilmington," Ava Spencer snapped. "I don't want you here and if you don't get off my property in the next thirty seconds, I'm calling the police." With those words she slammed the door shut in his face.
"Damn, now what?" Buck asked himself, as he tried to decide on his next move. Well one thing was for sure, he couldn't afford to waste time with the police. Scrubbing his hand through his dark hair, he blew out a sigh of frustration as he trudged back to his truck. Sitting in the vehicle, he tried to think, trying to put himself in Spencer's shoes. "Alright Buck, your little brother was raped and it destroyed him. Later he kills himself because he can't take the pain of what happened. You've gotten revenge on one of the people you think is responsible, now what do you do?" Staring out the windshield of his truck, his mind was coming up blank. Reaching over, he picked up the file his friend Rick had given him. Reading through it again, the question of where Phillip Spencer would go nagged at him. "David killed himself in his mother's basement, I wonder....one way to find out." Starting the truck, he pulled away from the curb, a moment later parking it on a nearby side street.
Getting out of his truck, he carefully made his way back to the Spencer home. Sneaking around to the back, he made his way to where he saw a basement window, being careful to stay out of sight. Shaking his head seconds later, he knew he shouldn't be surprised and to tell the truth he was kind of glad he wasn't here. He really didn't want to have this confontation with the man's mother there too. Retracing his path, he made his way back to where he'd left his truck. "So he didn't come to where David killed himself. The cemetary? Yeah, that'd make sense." Climbing back in the truck, he drove off towards the cemetary where David Spencer had been laid to rest.
It didn't take long to figure out that the cemetary was a bust. There were fresh flowers laid on David's grave, but no sign of his brother. Dejected, he walked back to his truck, his hands buried in his pockets and his head downcast. Once more he picked up the file, looking through it for some clue of where Phillip Spencer might be. "Buck you're a fool," he chided himself. He should've seen it earlier, if Spencer hadn't gone to the place where his brother's life ended and he wasn't at his grave there was really only one other place where he might feel close to David. Jumping into his truck, he sped towards the warehouse that David Spencer had been attacked in all those years ago.
Vin had gone to see Mary Travis and with her help he was able to find all of the information he needed on David Spencer and his family. She'd been curious of course, but he'd just told her that there was a chance David Spencer might have found some information on a gun runner they were after. She looked at him strangely, but seemed to accept the story he wove of misplaced files and the need to ask his mother if she knew where he might have kept them. Now here he was, standing outside the Spencer house, waiting for an answer to his knock.
"Yes?" the elderly lady asked him, her eyes narrowed in hostility.
"I'm sorry to bother you ma'am, my name's Vin Tanner and I was wondering if your son Phillip might be here," he politely requested.
"You don't look like one of Phillip's friends."
"No ma'am, we ain't friends. I work with the ATF and your son called us with some information about a possible crime being committed. I went by his apartment but he wasn't home and he's not at work..."
"You got some i.d.?"
"Yes ma'am, " he politely replied, fishing his wallet out of his pocket. "It's real important that I talk to him ma'am," he added as she examined his badge.
"Well it looks like the real thing, I guess I can talk to ya. He isn't here, but I think I know where he might be."
"Anything you could tell me would be helpful ma'am," he encouraged.
"I don't think it's healthy at all, but sometimes he goes back to that warehouse where his brother was hurt. Says he feels closer to Davey there. I don't see how, but if it helps him I'm not going to tell him not to go."
"His brother?" Vin pretended not to know about that.
"Yeah his brother," she confirmed. " Hold on a minute and I'll get you the address." She disappeared into the house, returning moments later with a piece of paper, an address written on it in a neat script. "Here ya are Agent Tanner," she handed it to him. "If Phillip is there, would you tell him I'd like for him to come by?"
"Yes ma'am, I sure will. Thank you ma'am." Turning away, he walked to his jeep and got in. Turning the key, he fired it up and pulled away from the curb. Quickly committing the address to memory, he crumpled up the paper as he headed towards the warehouse where he hoped to find Phillip Spencer.