Nothing More Than Feelings

by Helen Adams

Author's Note: This story is the fourth in the 'Chances' series and follows immediately after the events in Taking Chances, Love Lesson and Coming Clean. Contains graphic M/M/M sexual content.


As his gaze touched Chris Larabee's face, Ezra could not control a slight grimace. The other man had recently grown a mustache, not the general shadowy growth that he sometimes sported after a few days of neglected shaving, but an actual groomed and trimmed, full-on cookie duster. Buck's mustache enhanced his still-boyish features and gave him an irresistibly rakish air, but the clean sharp lines that made Chris's face so ruggedly handsome were not flattered by the addition at all. Every time Ezra looked at him, he wanted to find the nearest razor and shave the bushy intruder away.

Unfortunately, Buck seemed to like the addition and Chris was obviously proud of it, frequently reaching up to stroke his upper lip as the meal progressed.

Ezra twitched when Chris took a bite of the garlic bread that had come with his dinner and left a couple of crumbs behind. Fortunately, Buck saw the crumbs as well and simply brushed them away with his thumb before giving Chris a peck on the lips.

Sighing in relief, Ezra wondered how he would ever get through tonight if the others still wanted to make good on their invitation to spend the night. He supposed he would simply have to force himself to get used to Chris's new look, pretend he liked it, and hope he would eventually adapt to the sight.

"So, how does it feel to be a free man, Ezra?" Chris asked, distracting him from his brooding.

Ezra had taken the University's summer term off from teaching, and this weekend was the first truly free time he'd had in a month. Between finals, graduations, faculty meetings, lectures and a dozen last minute projects that had popped up, he'd hardly had a moment to breathe. He had spoken to Chris and Buck frequently via phone and email, but they had not managed to spend any personal time together in weeks.

"Wonderful," he said, flashing a bright smile. "I haven't had 'summer vacation' in 20 years, and I must admit that I'm excited about it. When I was in high school and college, I always worked during the summers so that I wouldn't have to be dependent on my mother and her paramours."

"Heard you had lunch with Josiah and JD yesterday," Buck said, grinning as he added, "I spoke with Josiah on the phone last night. Sounded like maybe JD's finally decided to work on getting his head out of his ass."

Ezra gave a rueful grimace. "For someone who fancies himself a man of the world, I can be amazingly naïve at times. I felt it would be best to inform our friends of the change in our relationship without pretense or excuses. Never once did it occur to me that JD would refuse to speak to me for a month, on the grounds that I was 'encouraging' you. "

Buck nodded. "He kind of flipped when I gave up women and started seeing Chris full time. Guess it was too much to accept that his best friend and his hero were both bi-sexual and in love with each other."

"Especially since he'd been using us as role-models," Chris added.

Ezra snorted. "The rampaging stag and the brooding loner, what perfect relationship guides." He took a bite of his rice pilaf, then said, "No offense."

Buck waved the comment away. "I think he's been telling himself for the last few years that it was just an itch we were scratching and that we'd go back to so-called normal if the right women ever came along. Finding out about Chris and me made him question himself, ask things he didn't really want to ask. By the time he'd decided there was no doubt he was totally straight, he'd already said a bunch of stuff he didn't know how to take back. I forgave him, and Chris never really held a grudge in the first place but things have been a little distant between us ever since. Guess hearing that you'd made us a three-some was more than he could take."

"The strangest part about it is that he's known all along that I'm flexible," Ezra told them. "He once introduced me to a man I ended up dating for several months, and he never seemed to have the slightest problem with the idea of my being gay."

Taking a sip of water, Chris shrugged. "He couldn't bring himself to apologize to us, so he's been using you as a go-between to keep in touch with Buck. You know that. When he found out that you were now a hell of a lot closer to us than he could ever be, he threw a tantrum."

"I believe you're right. At any rate, he was cordial enough last night and even apologized for acting like a spoiled child. I strongly suspect that Josiah and Vin have been working on him. Perhaps Nathan and Rain as well. For all that I expected JD to be understanding, I had the Jacksons pegged as being insulted by the idea that all of their assorted matchmaking schemes had been for naught. Instead they were completely delighted that I had found someone to love." He shook his head fondly. "Nathan was a bit dubious at discovering that I had chosen to join an already established relationship but was quick to decide that you never would have invited me in if you didn't truly want me."

Buck smiled. "He was right about that. Well, that's real good news about JD. Maybe if we keep pounding on him, our big happy family will finally be back to normal again."

Knowing how much that meant to him, Chris and Ezra both impulsively reached out and touched the arm or hand closest to them.

"You made any big plans for your vacation?" Chris asked, returning to his original topic.

"Not really. I have some books and movies that I want to catch up on and I've promised to visit Mother for a week in August, but the rest I will take day by day. I'm very much looking forward to a few months of doing whatever I feel like."

Buck gave him a wink. "Well, I sure hope me and Chris are among those things you plan to do."

"Just as frequently as your schedules will allow," he shot back, hitching his eyebrows suggestively. "And I certainly hope that favor will be reciprocated."

"Oh, yeah," Chris purred. "In fact, we've already got a couple of special things planned for you tonight."

Ezra looked up from his plate, intending to reply, but once again found his mind emptying when his gaze locked upon that atrocious mustache. The thing put him in mind of a car accident. So horrifying that he didn't want to look at it, but impossibly mesmerizing once he did.

"You really hate this, don't you?" Chris asked him, hazel eyes narrowing as he again stroked his lip.

Spell broken by the words, Ezra averted his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "You know I don't wish to hurt your feelings, but I find that this particular appearance just doesn't suit you."

Sounding surprised, Buck asked, "Do you feel that way about mine?"

"Not at all," he replied, again glancing apologetically toward Chris. "Yours is a natural compliment to your features."

Chris pressed, "And mine?"

Ezra grimaced, "Makes you look disturbingly similar to my Uncle Howard."

A chuckle broke free from Buck. "I don't know who Uncle Howard is, but from the look on your face, I'm guessing you don't associate him with sexy guys like us."

Ezra laughed. "No, I'm afraid not. He was among my least favorite relatives to visit as a child. Had a terrible temper, a twisted sense of humor and a flatulence problem that rivaled Josiah after three helpings of four-alarm chili."

Even Chris couldn't help smiling at that. "Not a very flattering comparison, but I can certainly see why that might be a bad association."

"I'm sorry, Chris. I'm sure that given a little time, I'll get used to it. It just came as something of a shock when you showed up on my doorstep tonight. You'd never even mentioned anything about growing a mustache."

He snorted. "Guess you must've felt like I did that time you showed up for your undercover assignment with bright green spiked hair and a nose ring."

"Indeed, though you must admit that I looked damn sexy with eyeliner and black leather pants," Ezra laughed.

"I wouldn't mind seeing it again," Buck chimed in, blue eyes sparkling. "Especially with those cute little fake nipple rings."

Chris smiled at the memory. "I'll tell you what. You give me a day or two and see if you can get used to the 'stache. If you can't or you still hate it, I promise I'll shave it off for you."

"That sounds like a fair offer, though we really should give Buck a vote, too."

Buck held up his hands. "Hey, I'm good either way." He flashed a smile at the waitress who came by to drop off their check and inquire as to whether they'd need anything else. Refusing the offer, he fished out his wallet and laid a credit card on the tray.

"You don't have to do that," Ezra protested. "I ordered that rather expensive entrée with the assumption that we'd be splitting the check."

"I know," Buck said, giving him a heated look. "But I figure you'll find some way make it up to me."

~*~*~*~*~

Ezra watched in surprise as the familiar suburban streets of his own neighborhood came into view. Chris and Buck had picked him up for dinner tonight and he had thrown an overnight bag into the back of the truck, assuming they would be heading back to the Larabee-Wilmington horse ranch as soon as dinner was over. Worried that his criticism might have ruined the other man's mood, he looked to Chris, who was driving the vehicle and asked, "Are we not doing this, then?"

Surprised, Chris looked at him. "What?"

Ezra gestured toward his house as it came into view around the corner. "I thought the plan was for us to spend the night at your place."

From the back seat, Buck reached forward and squeezed his shoulder. "Don't worry. We changed our mind about the location, but not the activity." When Ezra turned around to look at him, he grinned. "You been in our bed a few times, but we haven't had a chance to try out yours. That big ol' California King has been haunting my dreams."

"We arranged for Yosemite to keep an eye on the stock," Chris added. Then he grinned wickedly. "He isn't expecting us back until sometime on Monday."

And this was Friday evening. Ezra felt his entire body heat up at the implication. "And what other surprises have you been planning?"

"That's for us to know and you to find out," Buck told him, twirling the end of his mustache and releasing a comically villainous cackle of laughter.

~*~*~*~*~

As they parked in front of his home, Ezra saw that Buck and Chris had indeed prepared for their change in location as they each retrieved a duffle bag from the truck, handing back his own. He felt a familiar flutter of nerves dance through his stomach as they entered the house and locked the door behind them. He loved these men dearly, and been assured that they loved him too, but he had been a part of this relationship for such a short time that he still felt a bit like an intruder when he observed the casual caresses and on-the-fly kisses they exchanged when they set down their belongings and accepted Ezra's offer of drinks, Chris gesturing that he would play the part of bartender while the other two relaxed on the sofa.

Ezra's worry eased when Buck settled down next to him and slid a warm hand around the back of his neck as he leaned forward to press their mouths together. Ezra sighed, sure that he would never get enough of this as the other man's warm soft lips devoured his own. He was so caught up in the sensation that he barely felt Buck's other hand removing his tie and pushing the suit coat he wore off his shoulders.

Releasing his breath in a long silent whistle as Buck released him from the kiss, Ezra leaned his head back to rest against the sofa and immediately found the pucker of his lips being taken as invitation by Chris. The blond man leaned over the back of the sofa and spent a long glorious minute proving that Buck was not the only talented kisser present.

"Feel up to a little fun?" Chris asked, speaking the words into Ezra's mouth as they parted.

Groaning at the feel of Buck's long fingers gently massaging his cock through the twin barrier of his trousers and silk undershorts, Ezra could not coordinate his thoughts well enough to reply in words, but he nodded.

"Remember our first night together, when we told you that we like to play games in bed?" Buck asked, removing his hand and offering Ezra the drink Chris passed over.

Ezra bit his lip. "Toys, light bondage, but nothing rough or painful," he recalled. "I remember."

He started as something incredibly soft was slipped over his eyes, blocking out his view of the world around him.

"Just a little blindfold," Buck crooned, feeling Ezra tense. "If you'll trust us, I think you'll really have a good time with what we've got planned."

Ezra swallowed as he felt callused but gentle fingertips open his shirt and reach inside to stroke over his ribcage. He raised the glass to his lips, suddenly in desperate need of the shot of alcohol it contained. The glass was removed once he had drained it and he allowed his companions to help him to his feet and lead him into the bedroom, trusting them to prevent him from falling over anything he could not see.

"If anything gets too weird for you, just tell us and we'll stop," Chris promised.

"Okay." He could not seem to form any more complicated words, and his heart was thundering with a combination of excitement and nervousness. He felt the remainder of his clothing being stripped away by hands that frequently paused to caress and fondle and Ezra discovered that it was unexpectedly erotic; being unable to see those stroking hands.

Ezra tensed when was pushed down to lie atop his bed and felt thick cloths being placed around his wrists. When they were raised above his head, followed by a soft familiar-sounding click, Ezra realized that he had been handcuffed to the headboard. "I'm not so sure about this," he admitted, unable to prevent an instinctive testing of the restraints.

"Just give it a try," Buck coaxed. "We won't hurt you. We only want you to let us take control for a while, so you can just concentrate on feeling everything. That okay?"

Forcing himself to lay still, Ezra reminded himself that he could trust these men. They loved him and it was safe to relinquish control to them. This was only a game, after all. "I'm ready. Just . . . don't restrain my legs, all right?"

"You got it," Chris told him, his easy acceptance of the condition allowing Ezra to relax.

Ezra sighed in pleasure as he felt lips close around each one of his nipples, teasing the little nubs until they sharpened into points. Hands stroked the tense muscles of his legs as mouths sucked, kissed and licked all over the surface of his upper body. Arms, shoulders, chest, neck, stomach, he could not anticipate where a touch would strike next, but the greatest surprise was that he could not tell which lover was which. The mustache he had so opposed earlier was proving to be a perfect disguise without the benefit of his eyesight, and it was exciting to wonder which of those ticklish little touches was being bestowed by Buck, and which by Chris.

"How long have you been planning this?" he asked, losing his words with a gasp when he felt a wet tongue begin to probe his belly-button. When there was no answer, he guessed, "Long enough for a man to grow a decent sized mustache?"

He felt his legs being tugged apart, then he jerked as someone licked the back of his left knee and nibbled their way up his inner thigh. He had the peculiar impression that his cock, still untouched by either lover, was growing to inhuman proportions as it rose up away from his body, hardening and throbbing unmercifully as the onslaught of caresses continued.

"I knew you'd warm up to it once you figured out what it was for," Chris said with a chuckle, the location of his voice telling Ezra that Chris had been the one planting kisses over the surface of his belly and probing that wonderful maddening tongue inside his navel.

Ezra's hips strained up in response, offering a blatant hint of where he wanted to be touched next. "More?"

Buck told him, "Not that, at least not quite yet." As Ezra huffed in disappointment, Buck laughed. "You told me and Chris once that you used to daydream about being taken by each of us. I was thinking I might just do the honors tonight, if you're still interested."

Impossibly, Ezra felt his cock harden even further at the suggestion. It must surely be standing straight up like a tent-pole by now. He had not been physically prepared to accommodate Buck's larger than average size when he had first joined this partnership, and was sure that couldn't have changed after a long, all-too-celibate month. "How?" he rasped.

"We bought you a couple of gifts," Chris told him, and Ezra could hear the smile in his voice. He felt the mattress move as weight lifted away from it and his ears could pick up the sound of a zipper and the shift and crinkle of someone rummaging. "Ah, here we go!" Chris said, returning to land on the bed with a bounce.

Ezra jumped as he felt something clamp around his erection and slide down to the base, where its presence caused a unique throbbing sensation in his genitals.

"Cock-ring," Buck explained casually. "To give you time to enjoy the rest."

Even as he accepted the explanation, Ezra's body jerked again as he felt his legs being pushed further apart so that something slick and hard could be pushed inside his body. It was small, smooth, and no bigger around than a man's fingertip, slightly cold but warming quickly to his body temperature. It was given a little twist and then Ezra felt another layer, wider this time, breach his entrance. "Graduated," he murmured, remembering something Chris had said once.

"You got it," Buck told him, sounding pleased by his comprehension. "Want another?"

"Yes," he agreed, moaning blissfully as he felt his anus stretching to accept the next level of the plug, and then the next. This one was approximately equal to the girth of an average erect penis and Buck stopped there, giving him time to adjust. "God, I had no idea this would feel so good," he groaned, squeezing around the toy and feeling that the sensation could only be improved if the presence inside of him was Chris or Buck.

Hands resumed their stroke over his chest; up and down his thighs and across his flanks, then that exquisitely tormenting feeling of mustached lips roaming over his body began again. The two invisible lovers teased their way up his bound arms and Ezra started to laugh, unable to help himself. He had never realized that the skin on the under side of his arms was ticklish.

He squirmed when he felt a kiss and then a tongue teasing at his armpit, finding the thought of such a thing slightly disgusting even while he marveled at the wave of desire it caused to ripple through his body.

Ezra gave a choked cry when he felt a hand pushing his cock up close to his stomach, allowing room for a deliciously hot mouth to close around his scrotum. Skillful lips teased and suckled, tongue teasing the free-swinging balls until Ezra squirmed like a worm on a hook, held in place only by the weight of an arm across his chest, keeping him pinned so that the second lover could play with his nipples.

The tormenting mouth abandoned his balls and moved up; drawing a long moan of pleasure from Ezra as his hyper-sensitized cock was finally engulfed, leaving him aware of nothing but suction, heat and the gentle scrape of teeth against that painfully swollen surface. The teasing hairs of his mystery lover's mustache provided an added level of stimulation and Ezra arched his back with a sound of pure need when the gentle suckling combined with a push to the next level of the plug he had all but forgotten. He had never felt so full and so empty at the same time.

One final push of the plug had him nearly sobbing with unfulfilled desire. It felt as if his cock would explode if he could not relieve the pressure soon. The weight across his chest lifted away and, pulling and straining at the cuffs, Ezra jerked his hips, fucking the empty air.

A few seconds later, his breath caught when he felt the plug being carefully removed and the blunt, slickly-lubricated tip of a human organ taking its place. He widened his legs as far as possible; lifting to meet the intruder and was startled to feel a pillow being pushed beneath him to support his back.

"I have to see," he gasped. Grinding his head against the pillow, he growled, "Take this fucking blindfold off!"

The request was all that was needed. He felt the string around his head pull and then he blinked as dim light touched his eyes and the world came slowly back into focus. Chris was sitting next to him, an enigmatic smile upon his face, and Ezra could see that the other man was now as naked as he.

He looked down, moaning in want as he saw the equally nude Buck kneeling between his legs, the tip of his large cock buried in Ezra's ass. Ezra's own cock, trapped in place by the toy around it, was unusually purple and the veins stood out sharply. He found himself rather disturbed by the sight, hoping this game wasn't going to cause him damage.

"Don't worry," Chris said, flicking a clasp at the base of the ring that caused it to pop open.

Ezra groaned at the immediate feeling of blood-flow being restored, and the throbbing in his cock and balls increased by half. His breath escaped in a shaky moan as Chris went down on him again, head bobbing energetically as he devoured his prey. Arms still secured, Ezra could only watch and feel as Buck pushed inside his body, that long thick cock sliding in inch by glorious inch, until Ezra began to feel that it was too much. "S-stop," he said, and Buck did. "I'm sorry, Buck, but I don't think I can take any more."

Buck stroked his thighs. "No complaints here. You're doing great, Ez."

Raising his head, Ezra looked closer, surprised to realize that no more than an inch of Buck remained exposed. He smiled and ventured a squeeze around the fullness, the sensation causing them both to gasp.

"Okay if I move a little?"

He nodded, eyelids fluttering closed as Chris took advantage of his distraction to suck harder and faster, his tongue sliding up and down Ezra's shaft and causing wonderful friction. Buck was pumping slowly in and out and Ezra's body began to spasm as he spiraled closer and closer to orgasm. Moments later, he felt himself explode and the world blacked out again.

His eyes reopened a few seconds later when Buck groaned, "Oh, yeah!" He watched as the tall man leaned forward to rest his fists on either side of Ezra's body, hips pivoting as he drove carefully in and out of his tight entrance. Ezra understood the blissful expression on Buck's face when he realized that Chris had got up off the bed and moved to stand behind his partner, slowly fucking him even as Buck continued to do the same for Ezra.

Ezra smiled. It was only fair; Buck was the only one of their trio who had not had a chance to play what he called 'meat in the Manwich'. Unlike Ezra, who had been overwhelmed, and Chris, who had become violent in his need for completion, Buck rode between his two lovers slowly and easily, relishing every single moment of it as he was stimulated both inside and out.

Finding himself unable to do more than watch, Ezra allowed his tired body to relax and just enjoyed the feeling of Buck's sturdy cock filling him and occasionally sparking a hot spot that brought him a fresh wave of sexual pleasure.

At long last, Chris groaned and pressed hard against Buck. Buck's mouth fell open and his glazed eyes squeezed shut, telling Ezra that Chris must have come. Even as the realization struck him, he was filled with a rush of liquid heat as Buck, too, reached completion. It was a most amazing sensation.

It took a couple of minutes before Buck softened enough to withdraw painlessly, and he used the time well, covering Ezra's body with his own and kissing him deeply while Chris moved to unlock the cuffs around Ezra's wrists.

The moment his arms were free, Ezra snagged Chris by the wrist and tugged him down to lie on the bed and join in the embrace. When he felt Buck slip out of his ass, Ezra wiggled out from under him, keeping an arm around Buck's waist and wrapping the other around Chris's. He need them close and neither complained, simply wrapping their free arms over one another to form a tight loving circle.

Peppering kisses along Ezra's jaw and tickling the outer shell of his ear, Chris whispered, "So, what do you think? Do I keep the mustache, or shave it off?"

Ezra kissed him tenderly. "That was amazing. I'll never forget how it felt, as long as I live."

Chris grinned triumphantly. "And?"

"And I have a spare razor in my medicine cabinet that you may use in the morning."

At his partner's shocked, "What?" Buck burst out laughing.

"You owe me a ten-spot, Chris. You should've listened to ol' Buck when you had the chance."

Ezra looked at him curiously. "What did you tell him?"

"That appearances are everything, and you wouldn't put up with having Captain Kangaroo for a boyfriend, no matter how good he made you feel."

Surprised, Ezra stared at him. "You hate it too?"

When Buck merely grinned at Chris, the blond man snorted. "Neither one of you know a good thing when you see it."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, Mr. Larabee." Ezra kissed Buck deeply, then turned his head and did the same to Chris, fingertips leisurely brushing up and down their spines and making them shiver with pleasure. He smiled, knowing that he would have them ready for round two before the hour was out. "I wouldn't say that at all."

THE END

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