Escalating Hostilities

by Rhiannon

Summary: What could be more harmless than attending the local fair?

This is the third in a series of dialogue-only scenes. The first two are Diversionary Tactics and Retaliatory Measures. You should probably read those first!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. I don't own the rights to the Magnificent Seven and I don't make any money from this work.

"Hey, Chris?"

"Yes, Vin."

"It's about time we headed over to the fair."

"I guess."

"Now, don't you go gettin' too excited about it."

"You know I don't like fairs, Vin."

"Yeah, I know. But Mary'll be real disappointed if we don't show up to set an example to other folks."

"Since when have you been interested in setting an example?"

"I ain't. Just don't want to let Mary down, is all."

"All right, you've made your point. Let's go."

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"Chris, Vin, there you are! This fair sure is a lot of fun. You should head over to the church stall first - Mrs. Grainger's made some of her peach cookies and they're going fast."

"Ya on yer own, kid?"

"Buck's off with Liza Bootle, trying to impress her with his arm wrestling skills. Nathan and Josiah are patrolling like Chris asked and Ezra's got himself into a twenty-four hour poker game."


"I'm going to enter the horse race this afternoon. Chris, why don't you come too? And Vin, you should put your name down for the long distance shooting competition - you'll win it, for sure."

"Mebbe later. Chris, we need ta move on - we're meetin' Mary over by the candy stall."

"What for?"

"She wants us to judge the kids' fancy dress competition, is all."

"Wait a minute - I didn't volunteer to judge anything!"

"It'll be fun, Chris - I bet those little kids will look real cute, all dressed up."

"Who asked you, JD?"

"Aw, come on Chris, it'll just take a few minutes, then we can go get some food - I kin smell that hog roastin' from here."

"Just one competition?"

"Yup. Let's go, Chris."

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"Chris, you're late - I was beginning to wonder if you'd decided to run out on us."

"Sorry, Mary. Had some paperwork to finish down at the jail. Let's get this show on the road. Where are the kids?"

"Kids? We're certainly not allowing children to take part. What are you thinking!"


"Look, there's already a very long line. Why don't you go and take your place in the booth - over there, under that banner - and we'll get started. Vin, would you be kind enough to collect the money?"

"Be my pleasure, ma'am."

"Mary? What exactly is going on here?"

"Now Chris, don't look at me like that. It's too late to back out. Though I must say, I was a little surprised when you volunteered for the '50-cents-a-kiss' booth."

"The WHAT!"

"Come on now, pard, it's all for a good cause, and ya wouldn't want ta disappoint all them lovely ladies, now would ya? The Widow-"


"-Peabody looks like she's been queuing for a long while, but see, she still has a twinkle in her eye!"


"Somethin' wrong, pard? Now ladies, who's first in line?"

"TANNER! I'm gonna kill- umph!"

"Hey Vin, the Widow Peabody's a really large lady, isn't she? Think she's ever going to let Chris come up for air?"

"I surely hope not, JD. I surely hope not."

The End