The Personal Journal Of John Dunne

~ Chapter Three ~

May 2 - Am bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored! Think perhaps skipping Spring Break for supposed excitement of Wild West bad decision -- not in least bit like Frontierland at Disney World. Hmm.

Decided to organize limbo contest using hitching rails. Go me!

Much later:
Cannot find anyone interested in limbo contest. All a bunch of sticks-in-mud.

Side note: plan to order music from as Mrs. Potter only carries Emma Dubonnet Sings Aerosmith and Destiny's Child Sings The Best Of Emma Dubonnet.

May 3 - Buck says there's a place we can go with lots of "sporting women." Only downside is Spring Break girls known for just giving it away.

May 4 - Headed off to Wickestown. Met Emily. Said she wanted to go to Spring Break, too, but couldn't take vacation from work. Though, told me would have given it to me free if we'd been in Fort Lauderdale. Knew it!

Am convinced Buck has hero complex: saved girl named Nora today, though at expense of my tumble in the sack.  Selfish bastard.

Side note: am now on personal mission to find someone alive who does not feel obligated to give me advice.

May 5 - A good thing has come of Buck's heroics: lots of girls from Wickestown now here in our town. Hurrah!!

But, Wickes's men came looking for the girls.  I voted that we hide them in our beds.  Mary thought was v. good idea and volunteered to hide in Chris's bed, but we had to remind her she had no reason to hide from Wickes.  She seemed disappointed.

May 6 - Found out Buck was raised in brothel. Explains a lot, really.

May 7 - Ezra is trying to turn the girls from Wickestown into proper ladies, but I can't help wondering what Emily would look like in a pair of pants....

May 8 - V. exciting day! We played a prank on Wickes: made him think the girls were in a wagon that Vin drove off a cliff. Mary said it would have been funnier if the girls had actually been in the wagon. Think Mary has weird sense of humor.

Rolled around in hay with Emily, trying to get her out of her skirt and into my pants, but no luck. Really think she'd be more attractive wearing trousers.

May 9 - Wickes has kidnapped Mary! And we are off to rescue her. Plan is to have Ezra act as diversion by wearing alluring purple taffeta gown. Chris says not to let Mary see Ezra, though -- says she might not want to come back with us if she's no longer the prettiest.

Ding-dong! Wickes is dead, the wicked Wickes....

May 10 - The girls have decided to move on to San Francisco -- think Emily might have to learn to like wearing pants after all. Gave her my extra pair of chaps, just in case.

Mary seems happy girls are leaving.  She gave Lydia going-away present, but I heard Lydia say purple is not her color.

Side note: Ezra has been upset all day -- something about missing taffeta and not being prettiest anymore.

May 11 - Am bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!

Think should have taken Emily up on her offer to join the girls for their road trip to California -- would have been just like Britney Spears movie, only with talent!