~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~
Athena stirred. The haziness of sleep gradually gave
way to awareness and she could see two beautiful green pools shining through
the darkness
yet there was still a shadow of sorrow behind them. The
woman opened her eyes slowly to look at the man who had been watching her
sleep. His eyes sparkled as she returned his gaze. He was handsome, this
dark stranger
No! I must not call him dark, anymore.
Athena knew better now
This man had been a victim of circumstances
beyond his control. He carried guilt few men knew. It left him with a deep
wound in his soul and created a dark spirit for all to perceive. Larabee
had become an enigma. If he could not overcome an obstacle with his dark
presence, or his gun, he simply retreated and moved on.
Then he became the leader to this group of men. Some strange fate had brought
them together and eventually the blond took comfort in the circumstances
that had befallen them. Yet, now he was running away again; his trust and
confidence shattered once more. Somehow, Athena needed make him accept and
understand. No man can control everything that goes on around him, every
single moment of every single day. The blame and self-loathing needed to
end.
Seeing only his despair, Athena reached out and gently caressed the soft
stubble on his chin. She hadnt seen him shave since shed arrived.
But, the growing beard was nice. She liked it.
Chris watched her eyes study him and he smiled gently as she touched his
face. Responding naturally, he reached out to stroke her arm.
Athenas gaze followed his hand as it traced a path to her shoulder,
and then moved on to her lips. Suddenly aware of their situation, the woman
bowed her head, pulling her bruises away from his gently touch. There was
a time and place for such caresses but now was not it. She felt a familiar
longing but Larabee had truly hurt her. Athena always believed there was
a purpose for everything that happened
but she still couldnt
fully understand where she stood with this man. Something deep inside told
her that Chris was just as lost as she was. Yet, for all that had passed
between them, the woman could not detach herself from him
she had a
job to do. And, she was determined to complete her task. Pulling away from
his touch was her only way to tell him to go no further.
The gunslinger understood her message too clearly. He distanced himself and
sat up in the bed.
Athena closed her eyes and turned her face to the pillow. She did not want
him to see the confusion or desire in her heart. She had a responsibility
to these men. She needed to see to Chris and move on. Looking in the opposite
direction, she searched for something to break the impasse. Noting the shadows,
she spoke softly. "The sun has risen to its task
and so must we." Sliding
out of bed, she straightened her clothing. She didnt look at him as
she carefully stretched and left him alone in the room.
Chris forced his eyes shut and pursed his lips. He was disappointed in his
actions. Mad at himself for assuming
How could she possibly trust
me after what I did? He knew the woman was here to work
and nothing
more. He was slowly beginning to accept her wisdom. Their conversations had
made him realize a few important facts. Athena had a gentle way about her
when she was on task. She made everything seem so easy...
Wiping the tangled thought from his head, the blond got out of bed and fixed
the blankets.
They had some biscuits and coffee to start their day off again. No words
were spoken even after they moved outside. Larabee walked out his taut muscles
as he finished his brew. He thought over her words from last night.
You must not change the essence of who you are. All that you say
and do
all of your actions
these are the things that make you
the man you are. You must accept these things as strengths, not faults.
Perhaps she wasnt here to try and change him. Maybe she just wanted
him to accept himself the way he was and not lay blame for being
"Your patience for others, has limits," she spoke as he sat down beside her.
"You should not attempt to alter this
but merely extend those boundaries."
Setting his cup down, he looked at her curiously.
The woman smiled. "You have become accustomed to the ways in which you now
live your life," she tried to clarify. "When the presence of others becomes
too much, you step back. You must not see this as a failure. It is simply
a trait of the man you have become." Athena had spoken these same words to
this mans oldest friend several days ago. The cowboy had understood
he could not change this man too much. "Your heart tells you when to go and
when to stay
And, you are compelled to listen. You cannot fight it.
No one could have stopped you from leaving your town when you did
No
one could have stopped you from leaving your family when you did."
Chris looked at her harshly but his expression slowly dissipated.
Athenas face was full of reassurance as she continued quietly. "Fate
has no room for condemnation and despair. You need to rid yourself of these
feelings and move on."
Chris took a deep breath. "Its not that easy."
"Nothing worthy
ever is
The answer lies in acceptance." Turning
her body in the chair, the woman looked at him and smiled gently. "Acceptance
is the gift of absolution. You need not change who you are
or forget
what has gone before
You need simply, to forgive
Accept yourself
for being who you are and you will be free from your demons."
Her words were but a whisper yet, Chris understood all too clearly, there
meaning. He watched as she lowered her head and he couldnt help but
wonder, how one gentle creature, could understand so much.
After several long minutes Athena got to her feet and wandered over to the
corral.
Larabee took a deep breath and closed his eyes. For a long while he simply
sat and thought over her words... Again, hed heard her say that he
didnt have to change his ways. It sounded as though she was merely
suggesting that he forgive himself for all that he could not change. His
torment was his own and perhaps the demons that she spoke of were his
minds creation.
An hour passed and he found himself just watching her. He truly wondered
who, or what, had sent her to him
to them all. None of The Seven were
easy people to know. But, then again
neither was she. Yet, over the
last few days, Larabee had learned to accept her. She mystified him
but
Gazing at the corral, Chris had to smile. Even his strong willed
horse seemed to have taken a liking to her and that was highly unusual for
his spirited beast. Acknowledging the peace in his heart, the gunslinger
got up and moved to the corral.
Athena stood by his horse and patted it gently.
"He doesnt make friends easily," Chris huffed.
The woman lay her head on the animals temple. "Then he is like his
master." She glanced at Larabee before focusing on the ground. Something
else had been nagging Athena and she just had to ask. "There is another who
appeals for your companionship?" Leaving the comfort of his mount, she moved
to the other side of the enclosure.
Chris stroked his horse for a few minutes before following. He knew exactly
who she was speaking of but was unclear how to talk about Mary to the woman.
"Yes
" he said as he leaned against the fence. "Dont reckon I
quite know
"
Athena turned quickly and looked deep into his green pools. She held his
gaze for an eternity before closing her eyes. She stood and listened to the
wind.
The gunslinger just watched, afraid to disturb her concentration.
Finally, she came back to him. She opened her hazel eyes and smiled softly.
"She too must accept what is in your heart. But,
you must make your
peace before
" Athena turned away. "I see contentment if you can find
your true self."
The blond looked puzzled. "What does that mean?" he questioned.
Athena turned back to him, laid her hand on his chest and looked into his
eyes. A gentle smile crept across her face. "Be true to your heart
"
Chris felt she had more to say but her confusion was evident. He frowned.
Athena had meant to add his name at the end of her sentence but she felt
the one she knew was not right. Removing her hand from his chest, she narrowed
her gaze. "Your name is Christopher?"
He looked at her and frowned. He couldnt believe her question. Shed
been in town with them for eleven days and out here alone with him for four
more. She hadnt addressed him by his name in all that time. "Yeah
Chris... Chris Larabee," he replied. "Dont suppose no-ones called
me Christopher since I was little."
She looked him straight in the eye and again covered his chest with her hand.
"Perhaps, this was the last time your soul spoke to you clearly." She smiled
for him. "Be true to your heart, once again Christopher Larabee. Your heart
and your spirit are strong. They will never lead you astray."
She started to move her hand but he held it in place and looked deep into
her eyes. "Who are you?" he whispered.
All expression disappeared from her face as she returned his stare. "I am
the spirit of the red wolf. I am the one who has guided you on your
journey
I am The South Wind." Her hazel eyes sparkled as she removed
her hand and slowly walked away.
Chris forced the air back into his lungs as he watched Athena exit the corral
and walk into the meadow. He stood silently, leaning against the fence and
closed his eyes.
A gentle breeze blew through two peaceful minds.
~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~
Evening came and they had dined on the porch this time.
Their conversation was lighter than it had been all day. Athena wasnt
entirely sure, but somehow she felt no further need for discussion. This
man would run, no more. And, she sensed, too, contentment with his decision.
Chris felt as though a great weight had been lifted. Somehow, he had understood
her message. Her gentle manner had soothed his soul. He felt strangely sad
when she told him she would be leaving tomorrow.
Shaking the lingering thoughts from his mind, Larabee dropped a towel on
the back on the chair. He gathered his things and headed outside. "The
waters ready," he smiled.
Leaning against the support beam, Athena turned to face him. "Thank you,"
she replied, moving to the doorway. She stopped, looking inquisitively at
the soap, towel and shaving blade in his hands.
The gunslinger took notice of her curiosity and grinned. "Im headed
down to the creek to do a little washing myself. I left your gun belt at
the end of the bed. Latch the door. Ill be back in a bit." He smiled
at her again and turned to leave but a hand on his arm stopped his departure.
He looked back at her questioningly.
Raising her hand to the stubble on his face, Athena caressed it gently. She
lowered her eyes and carefully reached out, taking shaving blade from his
hand. Her eyes sparkled as she looked back at him coyly.
Chris frowned. A few seconds passed before he smirked suspiciously, turned
and headed for the creek.
The woman watched him go. His image held her gaze, far too long, before she
retreating inside. She just couldnt help it. She knew the depths of
his heart and she understood their similarities too clearly. She closed her
eyes, intent on driving away her thoughts. Closing the door, she latched
it, as he had advised. Looking around, she was amazed at the site. Everything
was laid out for her. Towels, soap, wash basins and warm water. She smiled
again. He might actually pass for a gentleman!
Closing the shutters, she set about her bathing. She was expecting the East
Wind to guide her to the fourth man tomorrow and she wanted to clean up before
she began the journey. She had no idea how long it would take her to find
the final wayward spirit she needed to heal.
~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~
He heard her unlatch the door but waited a little longer
before he went inside.
Athena was in the floor by the fire drying her hair. She glanced at him as
he entered, then swapped her towel for her brush and started to stroke through
her locks.
He noticed her clothing immediately and Larabee couldnt help but be
pleased. Having rinsed her regular clothes, she had them drying on the backs
of chairs. Athena was now wearing a colorful Indian skirt and had a pretty
cloth tied around her chest. Her shoulders were still bare, as Chris had
requested. He had offered to bandage and wrap her wound in preparation for
the journey that lay ahead. It was healing well but he thought it would travel
better if it were prepared.
Swapping his towel for bandages, he sat behind her on his chair. "Are you
ready for this?" he asked, holding up the clean strips of cloth.
The woman turned to look at him. She smiled softly. "A few more minutes."
The gunslinger took in her face silhouetted against the firelight. Her true
beauty shone through the bruises he had inflicted on her. The swelling of
her cheeks and lip had gone down but the split was still evident. Times like
these he could see all too clearly, what he had done to her that first day.
Other times he was able to look beyond the surface to see the beauty that
this woman held within her soul.
Athena set her hand on his knee.
One look into her eyes told Chris that she had been listening to his thoughts.
Her quiet piercing concentration also let him know that there was no blame
They stared at one another for some time, before she pulled her hair back
to reveal her injured shoulder.
Chris examined it again and smiled. The weeping had stopped two days ago
and now the scab on it was solid. "Well," he said happily, starting to apply
the bandages. "Youll have quite the scar when its healed but
at least youre alive."
A satisfied expression graced her lips.
Larabee unrolled the long strips and started by applying some of Nathans
ointment. He gently rubbed it into her shoulder before covering it with padded
cloth. Next, he applied the strips. Tugging as he wrapped, Chris made sure
the bandages were secure.
His actions were uncomfortable but Athena did not let him sense her burden.
He was helping her and thats all she wanted him to know.
Using the smaller strips last, the blond tore the material and tied it off
when he was finished wrapping. "Youll need to give it some air in a
couple of days..."
Athena felt him pull away.
Larabee closed his eyes, lowering his head when he realized what he was saying.
She was leaving to go after Tanner and the tracker had almost a weeks
head start on her. Her journey would surely be more than a couple of days.
The woman gazed at the fire and left him to his thoughts.
A deep sigh echoed off the walls of the cabin. "Are you gonna be able to
find him?" he asked solemnly.
It was Athenas turn to bow her head. She honestly didnt know
how to answer his question. The East Wind still had not appeared to reassure
her. The only hope seemed to be that the young man had listened when she
asked him not to go far.
Glancing back at the gunslinger, she forced a smile. "I must find
him
for all of you
History must know The Seven."
Chris looked at her curiously. She had said this before but
"You say
that like it means something
The Seven."
Athena turned and rose to her knees. His shirt was still unbuttoned from
his washing and she could feel his heart beating in her mind as she watched
his chest rise and fall. She looked at him long and hard before shutting
out his image. Slowly resting her hand on his chest, she waited a minute
before she spoke. Her words were filled with emotion. "I believe your heart
understands, Christopher. It does
mean something. History must
know The Seven. And, seven men must see destiny as one." Opening her eyes,
she looked at his handsome face again.
Larabee returned her gaze. Her words were drenched with passion and he felt
his heart race as he reached out and caressed her cheek. Ever so slowly,
he leaned over and kissed her.
Athena could not resist him.
Pulling back to look at the woman, the blond gazed into her beautiful hazel
eyes. Seeing no objection to his actions, he kissed her again.
The woman reached her hands around his body and pulled him closer. They shared
another passionate embrace before stopping. They searched each others
consciousness for a clear path to follow.
A question arose in Athenas mind, yet her small suspicions dissolved
as he kissed her yet again. She responded in kind and pushed the shirt from
his shoulders. Caressing his muscular form, she pulled the clothing from
his arms.
For Larabee, there were no more doubts
there were no more questions.
Or so the woman thought
A shadow in the blonds mind hadnt seemed unimportant, at first.
Their embraces grew increasingly torrid. She could sense his need. Yet, she
did not fully comprehend his illusion until he gave up their kiss and buried
his head against her shoulder.
The gunslinger took a deep, purposeful breath...
Hesitation?
But, why?
Cradling the gunslinger in her warmth, she held him as he sank to the floor
beside her. With her arms wrapped tightly around his head, she stared blankly
across the room and tried to understand. Long moments passed before her eyes
widened slowly. Realization and acceptance greeted each other all at once.
She took a long breath and kissed his temple softly. The blonds desire
was simply that
a physical need. He would allow himself nothing more.
He couldnt
Yet, Larabee denied himself the request. He could never ask
this of Athena
he had already taken too much from
her
Pulling away, Chris got to his feet. "Im sorry," he whispered,
before seeking out his shirt.
Shed had been to this place before
Athena wondered if there was
a woman alive who had not chosen to give herself freely to a man, without
the promise of fulfillment. She knew it was never a decision to be made
lightly
The blond refused to look at her.
Athena watched an internal struggle take place as Larabee walked across the
room. His head bowed and he took another loud breath before opening the door.
"Do not go, Christopher."
The gunslinger stopped and glanced back. He watched as she came to him but
looked away when her hands touched his shoulder. "You dont
understand
" he lowered his head again.
Athena ran her hands down to the small of his back and gently caressed his
tense muscles. Easing the shirt from his clenched fist, she smiled. "I
understand, Christopher
" she nodded. "I understand."
Embroiled in his own turmoil, the blond turned to look into her eyes. His
confusion was evident. "Why would you
"
She raised her hand to his lips and stopped the words. Perhaps she was
the only person who could truly know his anguish. How many times had he tried
to move beyond this loss that affected him beyond all comprehension
Perhaps, Athena understood his disconnected feeling
too well
Larabees fingers melded with hers as he retrieved her hand from his
face. Fingers intertwined as they searched each others eyes once more.
A long minute passed as Chris silently questioned her intent. Why?
Athenas equally silent reply remained unwavering. Dont
ask
Closing his eyes, the gunslinger started to turn away but her strong arms
pulled him back.
His reaction was swift and sure
Turning quickly, he kissed her wantonly.
The woman responded in kind. Her hands embraced his back and pulled him ever
closer. His shirt fell silently to the floor.
Chris pushed the door closed before responding, running his hands over her
bare back. He gently kneaded her skin. Working his lips down to her neck,
he covered it with soft pecks while his hands held her head, and caressed
it gently.
The womans eyes widened as his probing lips found the nape of her neck.
She tried hard to conceal her delight but her knees weaken as his nibbled.
Larabee felt her squirming and understood that he had discovered a sensitive
area. He nipped lightly then took Athena into his strong arms as she withered
under his probing. Carrying her to the bed, he pushed back the blankets and
set her down gently. He looked at her and caressed her cheek again.
She buried her face in his hand and kissed it lightly.
The gunslinger settled onto the bed and kicked off his boots. Running his
other hand under her top, he slowly sought out her breasts and tenderly fondled
them as he reached up to kiss the woman again.
Athenas heart beat a little faster as his probing mouth found its way
beneath the cloth on her body. His lips and tongue nuzzled her nipples while
a probing hand worked its way up her legs. She pulled his mouth to hers as
gentle fingers massaged her folds.
The blond smiled and kissed her again and she breathed heavily under his
touch. Her wetness filled him with desire and he pushed his fingers further
inside while an attentive thumb teased her button. Moving his head back to
her soft mounds, he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked it gently.
Athenas response was exactly as he had hoped for. Without hesitation,
she moved her nimble fingers from his back and began to unbutton his pants.
His penis grew under her manipulations and the womans thoughts focused
completely on her task. When his buttons were undone, Athena freed his organ
from its confines and pushed his pants down around his knees. She tried to
move to his beckoning muscle but Chris had other ideas.
The gunslinger got off the bed and quickly discarded his remaining clothing.
He gently pulled Athena to her knees and kissed her as hard as he dare. Climbing
back onto the bed he turned her in his arms and nibbled at her neck from
behind. His hands probed her wet folds and caressed her supple nipples.
Athena felt his hands pulling her skirt up and she ground her hips backward
into his waiting cock. She understood what he wanted and had no reservations
about giving it to him.
Slowly his lips left her tender neckline and the blond gently pushed the
woman to the bed. His hands cupped her chest as he continued to tickle her
nipples. Carefully, Larabee climbed between her legs and pushed his manhood
towards her folds.
Athena could feel his engorged penis rubbing her. She felt her own wetness
on his scrotum as he moved his body back and forth. She was ready for him,
yet he seemed to take some extra time to make sure she was completely relaxed.
Reaching down between her legs, Larabee brushed his thumb against her clit
and smiled as she moaned. Taking this as her signal of readiness, he took
hold of himself and slowly probed her opening. Finding it easily in her folds,
he pushed his organ in gently.
Three firm thrusts and Athenas chin dropped. One more, hard driving
motion and the woman flung her head up and looked wantonly at the gunslinger.
She pushed up and twisted her body around to kiss him as he caressed her
breast once more.
Chris remained impaled as they kiss deeply. And, as much as he enjoyed their
position, he craved the depths of her body. He forced his tongue to the back
of her throat before pushing her towards the bed. When she was again vertical,
he began to stroke purposely. The blond quickly lost himself in the sensations
created by their coupling.
Athena could sense his satisfaction and that only served to relax her already
pleased body. His tender fingers continued to tease her nipples as her body
moved under his control.
Endless, blissful minutes passed as his hands continued to snake their way
along her sides. For endless minutes, he would push himself into her while
he held her hips in place. And then his body would fold again and his hands
would seek out her breast once more.
His actions repeated in several cycles. He kept her body alive with temptation
as he slowly worked his own, to the point of no return. Athena took her own
pleasure from their coupling, too.
She anticipated his orgasm. It wasnt hard to predict. A thin bead of
sweat coated his skin as his pumping became more urgent and his fingers became
firm on the tender flesh of her hips. She braced herself against the pillow
and rode out his need, all the while being engrossed in the sensations that
he brought to her body.
Larabees body ached. His eyes rolled back in his head and he let out
a deep moan. Pushing forcefully once
then twice more into her, he flexed
his fingers and gently massaged her hips. One final stroke saw him breathe
once more.
Athena held her position and waited for him to withdraw.
A long minute passed as neither body moved.
Then Chris took another deep breath and opened his eyes. Seeing the prone
figure below him he smiled and slipped away from her body. Lying beside Athena
he pulled her towards him and kissed her softly.
She returned his smile as they broke their embrace.
Chris searched the womans eyes then pecked her lips tenderly again.
Sitting up, he grabbed the blankets before reclining once more. He held out
his arm so she could nuzzle into his shoulder. He smiled as she complied.
The blond kissed her forehead gently then closed his eyes.
The woman lay against his shoulder and listened to his heartbeat return to
a normal rhythm. Time lapsed slowly as she lay sheltered in his arms.
Only when she was satisfied that he had succumbed to sleep did Athena move
from his embrace. She looked down at Chris and smiled faintly. A sudden wave
of sympathy engulfed her consciousness. His last defenses had fallen
and she had seen
How could I have been so blind?
Moving to the other side of the bed she lay her head down and tried to find
her own slumber. Yet, she knew there would be little rest. The whispers would
surely plague her consciousness tonight.
~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~
The woman woke before dawn and lay quietly listening
to him breath. Somehow, she couldnt actually be sure she had slept
at all. Her head had been filled with Larabees secrets as she tried
to settle. But, being way too much for her to think about, she had chased
the troublesome thoughts away quickly.
And then, just as she had predicted, the whispers had kept her mind busy
throughout the night. This often happened when the spirits were away. They
brought order to the chaos that the whispers created but her spirits
werent always there to protect her. And, this was especially true when
she shared herself with the occasional earthy soul.
Shaking off the lingering thoughts, Athena pulled the blankets back and slowly
eased herself out of his bed. Crossing to the chairs, she gathered her still
damp clothes.
"Where you going?" the blond whispered softly from the darkness. He sat up
and felt around for his summer drawers.
The woman didnt turn to face him as she answered. "The West Wind will
arrive soon. I must be ready." She bent down to pick up her boots and socks.
The gunslinger finished buttoning the thin clothing, stood up and moved towards
her. Slipping his arms around her waist, he kissed her temple. "But your
horse isnt here yet, is he?" he cuddled her closer. "What if he
doesnt come?"
Staring at the dying embers in the fire, Athena lowered her head. "He will
come," she replied quietly.
With her body held tightly in his arms, Chris felt her growing tension. He
snuggled his chin to the crock of her neck. "Is there something wrong?" he
whispered.
Silence.
Athena continued to stare at the glowing firelight. Truth be told, she
wasnt sure that her horse was coming for her. The East Wind had not
visited, as he normally did when it was time to move on. Something must have
kept them. All the signs were right for her go in search of the remaining
man who made this brotherhood complete. They must be coming. "I have done
all for you, that I can." She closed her eyes briefly. "It is time for me
to leave."
Suddenly aware of her demeanor, the blond released his hold on the woman
and turned her around to face him. He wiped the strands of hair from her
face and looked at her closely. "But?" he lifted her chin so their eyes met.
"
Youre not sure
are you? "
Athena watched him peer at her through the darkness and her face lost all
emotion. She could not allow him to see her doubt
not now!
Larabee was surprised by her blank stare. Hed seen so many sides of
this woman in the short time that hed known her. He could usually manage
to see some, even obscure expression on her face... but now he could see
nothing.
Two people stood silently and looked into one anothers eyes for the
longest time before Athena finally turned from his piercing stare
The blonds arm suddenly dropped to his side and his lips parted. He
caught a glimpse as she turned away from him and suddenly, he felt ashamed.
He averted his gaze. He wasnt proud that he could recognize what he
saw but it was the same look he had seen, for just a fleeting second, that
first morning
For the second time, Larabee had seen fear in her eyes... yet somehow this
was different
Just as desperately as he has fought his own attitude that day, the gunslinger
sought to understand what he had done this time. He licked his lips. What?
What did I do
?
Oh, god! "I didnt
" he
turned to look at her quickly, "I didnt hurt you
"
"No, Christopher," she spun around immediately, trying to stop his question.
There was no reason for him to think he may have done anything wrong.
They looked at each other, searching out the truth.
"You did nothing
that I did not wish." She closed her eyes and took
a deep breath. She slowly settled her boots to the floor and in one fluid
motion, put her clothing on the table. She swallowed hard. Tears welled in
her eyes as they opened to stare at him. "I just
I could not
no
one can
" she shook her head and glanced away.
Another long pause.
Larabee took a step closer. He felt his gut tighten as his confusion grew.
Gently he put his hands on her shoulders. "What?
No one can what,
Athena."
Slowly looking back at him, she saw the question in his eyes and the woman
knew he did not understand. Her expression softened with sadness and she
took in a long, purposeful breath. "How long has your wife been gone from
you, Christopher
? How long has it been since you were truly able to
let anyone close?"
Without thinking, Larabees grip began to tighten on the womans
shoulders, yet he knew enough to let go. His eyes glazed and he took a step
back. How dare she?
How could she
Oh, god! How could she know
how much he still loved Sarah
so
very
much!
A tear rolled down his cheek. His chest felt so heavy
so heavy that
he thought it might burst. All the feelings
all the pain
All
too suddenly, Chris felt as though hed lost his family all over again.
His breath was labored, his emotions in turmoil. Yet, somehow in the hopelessness
of his despair, the gunslinger recognized his salvation. Through all that
he suffered, Larabee held onto a lifeline. He held the womans eyes
with his own. Someone finally understood
"I am sorry," she said, quickly looking away. She had not intended to verbalize
her thoughts but his grief was overwhelming. This mans pain took so
many forms and the long hours until dawn had given Athena too much time to
piece together the true depth of his anguish.
The dark, cold facade that she had first seen gave people good reason to
stay away and thats exactly what the gunslinger craved. He didnt
want people to get close to him. He feared attachments and anyone, who knew
his story, knew why. A heart wrenching account of frontier life gone so terribly
wrong
even Athena had fallen for his deception.
However, there was another reason why Larabee needed to keep people at a
distance. An intention so deeply buried in his subconscious that even Chris
didnt recognize it. The shadow the woman had seen last night in his
mind had been all too brief but it was enough
But, I am
just
not that strong
I cannot
"I should not have spoken," she
turned away and tried to gather her clothing again. "I have no right
"
His strong arms stopped her hands as they searched for the clothes. He
couldnt let her go
Not now!
She gazed at his fingers then slowly traced his lips to his face. "I had
no right to ask this. I am sorry. I will leave you now
I must seek
out he who sees. It is my purpose."
Fear! There was still fear in her eyes
It took every once of strength Larabee could muster but he beat down the
lump in his throat.
They simply stood and looked at one another, yet a thousand words were spoken
in their eyes.
Being able to recognize other peoples weaknesses had saved the
gunslingers life more times than he cared to admit. Over the years,
he had fine-tuned his senses. He had learned to see and hear things that
few people could. And, right now, Chris could hear the deception in her voice.
"Your spirits havent called you
have they?" he challenged.
"Youre
running away
"
His words surprised her but she was determined to stay focused. "You have
promised to return to your village. There is nothing left here, for me to
do," she said hurriedly. "I must seek out he who sees. It is my purpose
"
she repeated, pulling her hands free. She looked at him defiantly then turned
from his searching eyes.
Chris quickly wiped his hand across his damp face. "Youre lying
"
he accused gruffly.
"I must go," she tried to move past him.
"Youre afraid," he raised his voice.
She turned to leave then stared at him coldly as he blocked her path. "I
must go
"
Chris heard the quiver in her voice again and he stepped back. What else
could he say or do? Why was she afraid?
The woman stared at him.
Folding one arm across his bare chest, he raised his other hand to his lips
and stroked them gently as he thought. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
This wasnt the Athena he knew. Shed uncovered a weakness. And,
as much as it hurt him, Chris couldnt understand why she was afraid
to dig further
get everything out in the open where it couldnt
hurt as much. Thats what his Athena would do!
There was something going on and the gunslinger felt compelled to find out
what it was. "You just spent the last five days digging things out of my
head, Athena," he recounted slowly. "You asked me questions that you knew
I didnt want to hear
pushed me, till I gave you the answer that
you needed."
Continuing to look at the woman, he rubbed his forehead in frustration and
threw his arms haphazardly into the air. "Youve learned more about
me in the past few days than anyone ever has
All my secrets
ALL my secrets," he took a deep breath as he let his arms sink to
his sides. "Why are you afraid?" he whispered sorrowfully, as his eyes threatened
to water again.
Athenas eyes slowly closed. I cannot
Please, I cannot
Receiving no clear signal that shed even heard him, Larabee decided
to try another approach. He swallowed hard. "Why dont you ask me how
I can live like this
? Why dont you try to make things better
for me
show me how to accept." Chris moved closer to the woman and
took a deep breath. "Can you tell me how to
let someone close
"
his own words drew his breath away. He turned from her watchful eye as his
long buried feelings came rushing to the surface one more.
The emotions Athena had read in his face were reflections of her own. She
tried to shake off uncontrollable feelings as she headed for the door but
nothing seemed to make her struggle any easier. He was right
She was
afraid.
Not afraid of telling him another truth he probably didnt want to hear.
Not even afraid to help him face down his own denial.
But afraid to
Taking hold of the doorknob, she searched the texture of the wooden portal,
desperately trying to find words to speak. It was no use
she couldnt
restrain her own
Bracing one hand on the doorframe, Athena licked her lips, took a breath
and quietly revealed her thoughts to him. "The love that you feel for your
wife is deeper than any I have ever known, Christopher. You pledged to her,
your soul
and your spirit died when she past from this world
I do not know of any words that can ever free you from the burden of that
loss."
Athenas voice broke and Larabee glanced up, only to witness her fight
for control. He felt her turmoil as all manner of emotions fought for dominance
within his own mind and body. He wasnt prepared for what he heard next.
"Your love is beyond eternal
and not even your pain can quell the
everlasting devotion that still burns so brightly within your heart." Tears
grew in the womans eyes and she took another deep breath. "Your longing
is unyielding
and unending." Turning the handle, Athena straightened
her stance slowly then moved through the threshold. "Oh, how I envy you
so
" she whispered as she left
Chris watched her disappear into the pre-dawn shadows, as a tear rolled down
his cheek. He realized, all too clearly, what he had just heard. So much
truth
so much pain.
But, not all of it was his
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