~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~
‘How does one exist in a day without purpose?’
The gunslinger thought about it hard while they had some breakfast. Clearly,
he would be in charge today. He couldn’t help but feel sad for the woman.
She had no real idea what ‘a day without purpose’ really was. But
then again, Chris was having a hard time with the idea himself.
Watching Athena take her damp clothes to the porch to hang on the railing,
the blond tried to think about the things he would be doing before…
On a warm spring day before Sarah had died… on a warm spring day, when
it was just the two of them. It had been so long since Chris had allowed
himself to think about such things. Making his way slowly to the corral,
he looked at his mount gruffly and shook his head.
Following a few steps behind, Athena noticed the scowling face. "Is there
something wrong with him?" she asked as she came up beside him.
"Yeah," the gunslinger huffed jokingly. "He’s mine,"
The woman frowned.
Seeing her confusion, Larabee laughed and tried to clarify. "He’s mine
and he’s got my temper," he replied looking around at the surrounding
hills. "Don’t suppose your horse is around."
Athena shook her head. "Grey is not mine, Christopher. When his purpose is
not to take me where the East Wind sends us…"
Chris watched as the woman’s words faded away with her thoughts. He
tried quickly to continue their conversation. "And what do you think
he’s doing on ‘a day without purpose’?"
The woman looked the gunslinger slowly. "I do not know," she puzzled.
"You’ve never thought about him being out there, acting like any other
horse?"
"No," she continued to frown. "But he is not like any other."
Larabee huffed as he opened the corral and went inside. "And next you’ll
be telling me you’re not like any other woman," he said casually. Turning
to close the gate behind them, Chris saw the grave expression on the
woman’s face. "Athena?"
Looking into his green eyes, the woman shook her head gently. "But…
I am not like any other woman, Christopher," she repeated his words all too
seriously.
The gunslinger closed his eyes briefly, realizing he had said the wrong thing
again. His mind raced, trying to find a way out of the mess he had created.
Athena slowly became aware of his panic and understood that he had not meant
to question her. Watching as the man looked away, she glanced at the ground
and resolved not create problems, if she could help it. "Why are you in need
of the West Wind?"
Turning back to the woman he quickly cleared his head and continued with
their conversation. "Oh, I thought we’d take a ride out to the pond.
Maybe have a picnic."
Shaking her head slowly, Athena frowned, yet again. "I have heard these
words… but I do not know them."
The gunslinger sighed. He was slowly becoming frustrated and it wasn’t
even noon. Here he was, trying to show her what a normal life was supposed
to be like… Perhaps she was right… She wasn’t like any other
woman at all. "Doesn’t matter," he conceded. It’s a long walk to
the pond and Spirit doesn’t let other people ride him anyway…
especially women."
There was a strange silence and Chris looked at her again.
"Ma’heono," she smiled happily. Seeing his eyebrow rise, Athena grinned
before translating her Cheyenne. "His name is Spirit?"
The blond nodded before glancing at his beast. "Yeah, but that not necessarily
a good thing."
It was her turn to frown.
Seeing that he held the woman’s curiosity, Larabee continued the story.
"Picked him up about six months after… my family died. Buck and I were
busting broncs in Texas and this one couldn’t be broke. I spent most
of my time pretty drunk back then," he cocked his head, "and well, I just
got mad one night. Went on out to the corral and rode him into the ground."
Chris laughed. "Reckon we were both worse for wear the next morning. I got
myself a few broken ribs," he glanced at the mount, "and a real ornery beast
to call my own." Looking back at the woman, Larabee smiled. "Point is…
he shows me some respect but he don’t like other people riding him much.
Most people know just by getting close to him."
Moving a little closer to the animal, Athena repeated the blond’s words.
"Especially women!"
The gunslinger raised an eyebrow as she took hold of Spirit’s mane.
"The man I worked for had a real fancy wife. She paraded herself around in
all that lace and ruffles. I swear that damn horse could hear her coming
a mile away. Always put up a fuss when she was around. Ain’t liked women
since."
She nodded in understanding. "And we need to ride to go to this… pick
nicked?"
"Picnic," Chris corrected. "It’s just a fancy word for… for…"
he looked at the woman comically. "It’s usually lunch. You go out someplace,
sit on a blanket and eat your lunch. But, Baker Pond is a few miles out.
It’s much quicker to ride."
Athena smiled thoughtfully. "I believe I have a ‘picnic’
most every day…" she frowned. "But sometimes Grey has no use for his
blanket."
The blond laughed earnestly and then gazed at the woman. Her simple, natural
persona truly amazed him. Slowly the smile disappeared from his face and
he stepped closer to her. Setting his hand on her cheek, he caressed it gently,
before leaning in to kiss her.
Holding his hand at her face, Athena accepted his embrace and allowed herself
to enjoy the comfort of his touch. When their lips parted, she looked at
him curiously. "What was that for?" she almost whispered.
Lowering his head briefly, Larabee looked back into the woman’s eyes.
"A day without purpose… remember," he smiled. "Just because..."
She waited for him to finish his sentence but the conclusion never came.
"I do not understand."
Chris grinned. "I can see that," he said happily as he turned. "So…
shall we try and come up with something else to do today?" he asked as he
moved back to the gate.
Still confused by his kiss, Athena seemed startled by his change of topic.
"I will come in a moment," she said quietly.
The blond looked at her curiously but decided to give her the time she asked
for. Exiting, he walked to the house. He glanced back to see the woman standing
with Spirit and he couldn’t help but wonder what see was doing. He grinned,
knowing he’d never really understand, and went inside.
Standing inside his home, Larabee looked around. Everything was in order.
The bed was made… the breakfast dishes were washed and dried. The fire
embers were spread out and cooling nicely. Seeing nothing else he could busy
himself doing, he glanced at the bookshelf and decided he would read for
a while. Walking over to his selection, Chris proceeded to look through the
books.
Five minutes passed before the gunslinger gave up. He’d read them all
at least once, most twice and… to tell the truth, he just wasn’t
interested in reading right now.
"Can we still go for the picnic, Christopher?" the woman called from outside.
Larabee smiled and shook his head. "The north end of Baker Pond is…
about three… miles…"
Athena’s grin broadened as the gunslinger turned around and looked at
her through the open doorway. It was amusing to see him surprised like this.
"It is good that the insects are not around to bother you. Is it not?"
Chris raised an eyebrow before realizing that this was the woman’s way
of referring to his open mouth. "How did you…" he stuttered as he walked
through the doorway. He shook his head quickly. "Forget it." He really
didn’t need an answer. Waving his hands in the air, he looked at her.
"You win. You made your point."
"I was not trying to defeat you," she said seriously. "I did not wish..."
"Athena!"
She stopped speaking.
Chris smiled again, not wanting her to think that he was mad with her in
any way. "Do you think you can ride him back to the corral and get him saddled,
while I pack some food for lunch?"
The woman nodded happily and turned Spirit back towards the enclosure.
Larabee watched her go and rubbed a hand across his chin. "Not like any other
woman at all," he mumbled as he went back inside.
~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~
They rode double all the way to the pond. Chris knew
of a secluded spot at the northern tip. It was the furthest point away from
the road and town, so most folks never came up that far. Unsaddling Spirit,
the blond sent Athena down to the water to find a place for the blanket.
He set the horse on a long tether and followed her.
They relaxed for a while in the warming sun. Athena sat with her eyes closed
and listened to the breeze. She made a point of telling Larabee about the
creatures that they shared the day with. He couldn’t hear, see, or smell
most of the animals she named but trusted her when she said they were about.
Larabee’s comfort level showed when he decided to take off his coat
and hat. His gun belt and boots followed a short while later. The woman seemed
disappointed that he had removed his boots and Chris couldn’t understand
why. Then he made the mistake of asking. The man’s laughter echoed off
the rocks.
Athena smiled gently. "It is good to see you laugh, Christopher."
Larabee almost blushed. "Seems to me being called a ‘tender foot’
ain’t nothing to laugh at," he smiled. "But if you want to walk for
a while," he moved to stand, "I’m game."
"No," she put her hand on his chest. "I will… relax… some more."
Studying her body language, the gunslinger sighed. "You’re a real bad
liar, you know that."
Athena frowned again. "I have not falsified anything."
"No… maybe not," he took her hand. "But you don’t want to
‘relax’ any more than I want to walk around in bare feet."
Glancing at his socks, the woman narrowed her eyes. "But your feet are not
bare!"
Larabee laughed again. "What am I gonna do with you, girl… stop taking
everything I say, so literally."
Athena was now truly confused. He laughed, yet she sensed annoyance. He smiled,
yet he criticized her answers. Not wanting to frustrate the man more, she
simply shook her head and raised her eyebrows.
Larabee laughed again and pulled her close. He stroked her free flowing locks
and held her head in his hands. Gently, he kissed her again.
When their embrace was finished, the woman looked at him curiously. "You
are not angry that I do not understand?"
The gunslinger shook his head.
"Good," she smiled and set her forehead on his chest. They remained motionless
for several long seconds before Athena sat back and then got to her feet.
"Where are you going?"
There was no reply as the woman walked down to the water and got her ankles
wet.
Chris smirked. "Is it warm?"
She looked back at the man and grinned, "Perhaps, not enough for you."
Larabee cocked his head and feigned anger.
She could tell that he was playing with her and Athena was happy. She splashed
the water around a little more then walked back to the grass. Without hesitating,
she undid the knot that held the material around her chest. Her top floated
to the ground.
"Athena!"
Startled by the tone of his voice, the woman looked at him worriedly.
"What are you…doing?"
"I was going to swim. Is this not allowed?
"Yes, it is. But… you’re taking your clothes off."
"I do not wish to get them wet," she replied, unable to ascertain the reason
for his concern.
The gunslinger glanced away.
Seeing him avert his eyes, Athena suddenly realized what was going on. She
turned her back to the blond and retrieved her top. "I’m sorry," she
called out as she retreated further down the shoreline.
Larabee licked his lips. He wasn’t sure what embarrassed him more…
Athena undressing in front of him or her forgetting that he had not removed
her clothing the previous night.
Further down the shoreline, the woman took a deep breath and scolded herself
for being so comfortable. She considered not refreshing herself in the cool
water… but she wanted to… Dropping the small wrap to the ground
behind a large outcropping, Athena undid the ties that held her skirt in
place. It fluttered to the ground effortlessly and she moved towards the
water’s edge.
The gunslinger was sipping at the canteen when he spotted her in the distance.
She was completely naked for a fleeting second before she slipped into the
water and Larabee couldn’t help but stare.
She swam around for almost an hour. Like a fish that had been too long out
of water, Athena relished the weightlessness of her body as she glided through
the pool. She would dive below the surface and watch amusingly as the gunslinger
searched the water to see if she were in trouble. Forgetting the awkward
moment they had shared earlier, she tried to coax him in several times but
to no avail. ‘You can not swim, either?’ she teased but nothing
changed his mind.
Chris enjoyed watching her splash around like a naughty child. Clearly, she
enjoyed the simplicity of the pond. It was also obvious that the woman gave
no thought to her nakedness either. Twice, when she had asked him to join
her, she had been far enough out of the water that her chest was in full
view. And, when she surfaced from a deep drive, he caught tempting glimpses
of her whole body.
Then, finally, when she had had enough, she swam back to where she had entered
and climbed out. Standing in full view for more than a minute, she wiped
the droplets from her skin before moving behind the rocks to dress. Larabee
couldn’t help but wonder about the things he had given up last night.
Distracting himself, the gunslinger gathered the saddlebags. He hadn’t
been able to find much in the way of ‘picnic’ food but Chris had
brought along a few things to tide them over until supper.
"Ummmmm," Athena stood beside the blanket and raised her face to the sun’s
warm rays. "I feel very refreshed, " she whispered.
He knew she wasn’t meaning to but the gunslinger could hear the seductive
overtones in her voice. Staring at the material that clung to her still wet
body, Chris smiled gently. "You look…"
Silence ensued as the words escaped him.
"I look…?"
The blond cleared his throat loudly, "I said you look… refreshed," he
continued to unload the food. "Did you have a good swim?"
Nodding, Athena noticed him unpacking. "Oh, I hope you did not bring too
much, Christopher. I am not very hungry after the breakfast you made this
morning." Looking at him happily, she sat down beside him.
"Well, you don’t have to worry about that much. I promised you a picnic
before I looked at my food stock. I’m afraid I don’t have a lot
to choose from."
Athena studied the choices. Larabee had brought along some biscuits and apples,
some jerky and left over bacon, as well as some bread. Picking up a biscuit,
the woman stretched out and pulled up her skirt to warm her legs in the sun.
"Water cold?" Larabee asked as he took two slices of bread and stuffed three
pieces of bacon between them. Another one of Tanner’s little ideas.
"For you," the woman mused without looking at her companion. She took several
bites of the biscuit as she relaxed.
The blond tried hard not to look at the limbs stretched out in front of him.
Athena had reclined further on the blanket and her skirt sat perilously close
to her hips. Chris couldn’t help but remember that she wore nothing
but the skirt and wrap.
"May I have a piece," she asked lazily.
"Ummm... Of what?"
The woman turned and opened her eyes. "Bacon, please." Noticing his unusual
expression, she frowned. "Are you alright?"
"Oh… yeah," he tried hard not to stare. "Just got a piece of bread stuck
in my throat."
"Have some water."
Nodding, Chris handed her the last piece of bacon. "Good idea." Reaching
for the canteen, he swallowed hard.
Larabee watched the woman again as she slowly devoured the strip of bacon,
one tantalizing bit at a time. The gunslinger finished his makeshift sandwich
and chased it down with more water.
Rolling onto her stomach, Athena flicked her hair around and then pulled
it back behind her ears. Making sure it was laid out neatly on her back,
she set her head down on her folded arms.
The next hour passed slowly for the gunslinger… He moved the remaining
food items back to the saddlebags and set them in the shade. Settling himself
beside the woman, he lay there and watched her restful slumber. He couldn’t
help but study every inch of her body. Those clothed and those not…
Again, Chris found himself wondering about the things that he’d missed
out on the previous night. But, it wasn’t only Athena’s innocent
sensuality that had his attention. For the first time in over three years,
Larabee felt as though he could truly accept a woman’s company. The
peacefulness and quiet grace he saw was so very tempting. He thought about
how Sarah was when they were first married... quiet and unassuming, yet strong
willed and persuasive. In some ways this woman was very different, yet there
were similarities…
Athena stirred happily and opened her eyes. Sparkling green orbs and a beautiful
smile greeted her. "I fell asleep?" she blinked widely.
"You did."
Wiping her eyes, the woman sat up and adjusted her skirt over her knees.
Pulling her hair over her shoulder, she smiled. "It is dry."
"Well it should be. You been laying there peacefully for almost an hour."
Athena frowned.
"An hour?"
"Almost."
Shaking off the thought quickly, she sought to distract him. "May I have
an apple, please?"
"Sure," her got up and retrieved the fruit from the bags. Returning he handed
it to her cautiously. "Something wrong?"
"No," she answered slowly. "I just wasn’t expecting to sleep. That is
all."
"You had a good swim. You probably needed the rest."
"Yes," she agreed. Athena sat quietly and ate the fruit. She did her best
not to reveal her uneasiness. His words played over in her mind ‘You
been laying there peacefully for almost an hour’.
This made no sense. She never slept peacefully.
"Well, your hair may be dry but I’m betting that bandage isn’t,"
Chris moved closer. "Come here," sitting behind her, he pulled her between
his legs to get to her shoulder better. "We need to let this dry out or that
scab will soften. Bet it already has."
"Alright," she agreed. Settling comfortably, she let him unwrap the bandages.
Finishing her apple she tossed the core to the edge of the blanket and laid
her arms gently on his knees.
"There," the blond announced as he removed the last remaining piece. He leaned
over her shoulder and studied the injury carefully. "When did Nathan say
you should cut these stitches out?"
Glancing over at the shoulder, Athena strained to see. "There are three left?"
"Four… remember. The inner ones," Larabee replied, touching the area
gently as she turned so he could see better. They had talked about this before.
Nathan had stitched her wound below her collarbone on the same angle. The
three stitches over her shoulder had given way, probably when she landed
too abruptly on the floor, during his assault.
"I’m sorry," she looked down at the injury. "I can not see it clearly,"
she turned around more and smiled at him. "And you have taken such good care
of me."
Larabee felt his guilt rising in his gut. "You have nothing to be sorry about,
Athena," he lowered his head. "If I hadn’t… hit you… this
could be nearly healed by now."
Turning completely, between the gunslinger’s legs, Athena set her hands
on either side of his head. Lifting his chin, she smiled, "Look at me,
Christopher."
The blond kept his eyes averted.
"Please…"
Slowly, he looked into the woman’s hazel eyes. "I’m the one who’s
sorry…"
"Stop!" she said abruptly. "We will have this discussion no more." Taking
a deep breath, Athena smiled faintly. "I would like to tell you to forget
what has happened, Christopher… but," she caressed the stubble on his
cheek. "It is important that you remember."
Larabee narrowed his gaze. "I don’t think I can ever forget…"
"No…!" she snapped almost angrily. Unsure if she could explain her intent
properly, she shook her head gently. "Don’t dwell, don’t forget…
but you must let it go… for now."
Larabee’s confusion was evident and his sudden sarcasm showed in his
words. "Is that a standard line? Sounds familiar… Sounds like the advice
you gave me about Sarah," he challenged his recollection. "About my entire
life."
Athena straightened her shoulders. Reaching out, she almost made contact
with his cheek but then hesitated. "Know that there is a purpose for what
happened and let it go… I cannot hear your regret any more. I will not!"
"Oh," the blond pulled his legs from around her body and sat back. "And this
is the high and mighty, ‘there’s a purpose for everything
speech," he muttered sarcastically.
The woman looked at him coldly. Swallowing hard, she got to her feet and
started to walk away.
"Where are you going?" he called after her.
The woman stopped but did not turn around. Bowing her head quickly she
straightened her shoulder again and held her head high. "To a place where
knowledge is not judged by how it arrives but rather… by the bounty
it brings forth."
Her words sunk to the pit of his stomach instantly. Plain and simply, Chris
felt he’d just shot himself in the foot. "Athena," he called again as
she started to move off. Gaining his feet quickly, the gunslinger started
to follow her through the brush. "Athena, wait, please… I didn’t
mean it like that."
Walking past the tethered horse, the woman scaled the small embankment
effortlessly and continued on her way.
Behind her, the blond pushed the horse out of his way and stared at the rocky
landscape in front of him. Glancing at his bare feet, the man bit his lip.
"Damn it, Athena. I have tender feet, remember?" Having lost sight of her,
Larabee listened for a response.
Nothing!
"And what about our picnic?"
Still Nothing!
Damn!
Making his way back to the blanket, Chris threw on his boots and quickly
gathered everything together. He headed back to his horse again; saddled
the beast and pointed Spirit towards home.
~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~ 7 ~~~~~~~
It didn’t take long for the gunslinger to catch
up with the woman. He slowed and followed her along the path.
She paid no attention.
"Athena," he finally called.
Still no response!
Larabee watched the purposeful steps she took and her aggressive footfalls
did little to quell his frustration. Licking his lips, the blond narrowed
his gaze and decided to try a different approach. Maybe that would get her
attention…
"Come on, Athena. Try to see this from my point of view for once… Okay,
so maybe you’ve made a few lucky guesses. You get your pets to come
visit you once in a while… make everything look ‘r e a
l’ special."
The woman’s eyes floated around in her sockets trying to gauge if she
could see him or not. She didn’t like the things he was implying but
she was determined not to let his distrust have more attention than it deserved.
Chris cocked his head slightly when he thought he saw a reaction. "You had
me fooled there for a while," he continued. "Made me feel sorry for you even.
I should have known you’d show your true colors when the going got rough."
"ROUGH!" she spun around furiously. "You are arrogant, Christopher Larabee…
so very arrogant." Swallowing hard, the woman took a deep breath and tried
to calm herself.
"Arrogant, " the blond repeated mockingly, "because I choose to question
your view of the world." Feeling he might have the upper hand in the
conversation, Chris dismounted and stepped closer to Athena. "Arrogant because
I don’t believe there can EVER BE… ANY good reason,
OR purpose, for a man to EVER do… what I did to you."
The woman heard the forcefulness of his words. She held her stare for a long
moment before blinking. And then, without warning, all emotion was gone.
Her usual calm façade took over and a gentle smirk crossed her lips.
Her words were softly spoken. "Even if the actions you took then… will
save your life one day?"
Raising her hand to the stubble on his chin, Athena caressed it gently and
took a deep breath before moving her hand away. "If you believe nothing else
I have told you Christopher, believe this… You must cast off the remorse
that clouds your vision… let it go. Remember nothing until your
rage is uncontrollable once more. Only then, should you call forth remembrance
and once again witness the swelling, the bruises and the blood that were
created by your own hands. Remember it again… let it go…
again. And your life will be spared." Athena smiled once more and then
turned and walked away.
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