Part 4 of a Series
Revelations 1 | Revelations 2 | Revelations 3
Disclaimers: (See part 1)
Buck held still, enjoying the spreading warmth between his body and JD's. The young man slept facing away, his shoulders rising and falling gently with his breathing. Sliding his hand under JD's arm and over his hip, he rested his palm lightly on JD's bare stomach. The flannel bottoms JD wore rode low on his hips and the edge traced a line just above his groin.
Smiling gently to himself, Buck rolled closer to his lover. He kissed the soft, graceful neck tenderly. JD's breathing deepened. Buck's mouth twitched into an enduring grin. Shifting his hand lower on JD's belly, he pressed in with his fingers. JD responded immediately, pushing his hips back, arching and groaning with the pressure on his abdomen. Buck's other hand, wrapped around JD's chest, roamed up to JD's throat and caressed the skin, enjoying the feel of bones rolling beneath tight muscles.
But remembering the bruising that he'd put on JD's body the last time they'd made love stilled Buck's hand. It hadn't shown up until two days later, and JD would have probably managed to hide it from him longer if he hadn't stepped out of the shower while Buck was in the bathroom. Judging by the guilty shock on the younger man's face, he hadn't realized Buck had come in. His hands had strayed to his belly and spread against his wet skin, but Buck had quickly seen the darkening purple marks easily.
Without a word he'd grasped JD's arms and firmly guided him to sit on the edge of the tub. JD braced himself on the tub's wide rim and turned his face away, but Buck heard his strained breathing and felt him stiffen when he pressed carefully into the bruises. A strange feeling of betrayal grew in Buck's chest but in the same instant he realized he had no right to be angry with JD. As the older of the two, he should have known better. The moment had seemed to call for something desperate: JD's form writhing beneath him, his begging for release and his need for pleasure had driven Buck to react in a way he would have normally vehemently opposed. Instead, he'd let the heat of the moment and his own arousal talk him into doing what JD wanted. And the end result was the bruising on JD's body.
"Never again." His announcement brushed cold against JD's skin, then Buck had turned and left him alone.
The air between them had felt stale and dangerously close to ending for several days. They avoided each other, finding reasons to be out of the apartment or to pursue avenues at work that kept them far apart. If any of the other team members noticed, they didn't mention it, probably figuring Buck and JD would work it out between themselves. No one had any idea of the type of relationship Buck and JD shared, and the two men weren't ready to face their friends' reactions yet.
Forgiveness came slowly, gradually.
The afternoon had turned hot, and with nothing to keep them at the office, Chris sent half of the team home. Reluctantly, Buck and JD followed orders and left, and inadvertently found each other at the apartment. After an awkward moment, JD retreated to the kitchen, while Buck grumbled an excuse and went to his room. He came out a little while later, his head held low, keys jangling in his hand, heading for the door. Stopping only long enough to announce he was leaving, he froze when JD looked at him from the kitchen table.
"Are you coming back?"
Untangling the deeper meanings in those words, Buck held still, waiting to see what answer would come out of his mouth.
Apparently he waited too long to answer. JD dropped his gaze; his head hung heavy between his shoulders. "Do you want me gone when you get back?"
"No!" This time, the answer sprang from his heart and he darted across the room. Stopping before he reached JD, Buck lifted his arm, then let it fall back to his side. "I want you to stay."
JD's head lifted again, and this time his eyes were full. Sorrow creased his face, shaded his eyes and quivered his lips. "I'm sorry, Buck."
Two steps closed the distance between them. He had his arms around JD and was lifting him from the chair before he knew what he was going to do. Emotion gushed out of JD and the smaller man clung to him, clawing his fingers into the back of his shirt. Buck guided them to the living room, where they collapsed to the couch and held each other.
Now, a few days later, Buck replayed those images and chased the question of what to do around and around in his mind. JD sighed against him and mumbled in his sleep. Buck smiled and pressed closer, knowing he'd be willing to do anything to keep this man with him.
JD stiffened abruptly in his arms. Buck waited, wondering if the younger man was waking up.
" --no -- please -- not -- don't hurt me --" The whisper strained out of a constricted throat. Before Buck could react, JD shuddered and then convulsed in his arms.
Alarmed, he sat up and grasped JD's shoulder, rolling him to his back. "JD -- wake up!"
JD's head whipped from side to side. He fisted his hands and pressed them into his body, then bolted upright and doubled over, nearly knocking Buck over with the suddenness of his actions. A scream ripped through the room and fear made the fine hairs on the back of Buck's neck stand up.
"JD!"
Arching back suddenly, JD fell back to the bed. Gulping in air, he blinked, then stared at Buck. "Oh god, help me! Buck, help me, I'm bleeding!"
Realizing JD hadn't completely woken up yet Buck grabbed him and crushed him to his chest. "I'm right here, JD. I'm right here." As if trying to prove himself, he rubbed hard against JD's back, kneading into tight muscles. Great shuddering breaths rushed out of JD.
Pressing one hand against Buck's shoulder, JD pushed him back, then looked down at himself. He held one hand against his stomach and slowly pulled it away to study the flesh beneath, as if he'd expected to find a wound of some kind. "It's gone. It's not -- where?"
"JD? You with me here?" Squeezing JD's shoulders, Buck watched worriedly as JD lifted his head.
Eyes glazed, face pale, he blinked, then smiled at Buck. "Oh. Yeah. I'm here. I'm here now. I was -- I was there and now I'm --" Diving forward, he locked his arms around Buck and hung on tightly.
JD trembled. Buck held him tighter. What the hell had just happened? The feeling that something important had been revealed, something that could lead him to answers and explain things, whispered deep within his mind. He wanted to push, wanted to know what JD had dreamed of, if it was memory or just nightmare. But the fragile feeling of the man in his arms stilled his questions, and he just held him.
Slowly, they sank back to the bed, still in each other's arms. The room darkened into night, and they slept.
End
Revelations 5
Comments to: anonymousjdee@yahoo.com