Disclaimer: I wish... but they still are not mine.
Warning: This is a sequel to my story From The Ride To The Fall. You should read that first or this won't make much sense.
Special Thanks: To Joy. For reading another one for me and for all her good advice and suggestions, and for being as amazing as she is...Thanks, Joy.
More Thanks: To everyone who brainstormed with me...It was a big help.
| If you wait for me, then I'll come for you. Although, I've travelled far, I always hold a place for you in my heart. If you think of me. If you miss me once in a while. Then I'll return to you. I'll return and fill that space in your heart. I've longed for you and I have desired to see your face, your smile. To be with you wherever you are. Remembering your touch, your kiss your warm embrace. I'll find my way back to you. Please say you'll be waiting. Together again. It would feel so good to be in your arms. Where all my journeys end. If you can make a promise. If its one that you can keep. I vow to come for you. If you wait for me. And say you'll hold a place for me, in your heart... The Promise by Tracy Chapman |
ONE
One year. Had it really been only a year ago that he left Denver and everyone in it behind? What was the word he had used back then to decribe his life? Ah, yes. It was bliss. He had been so happy. He had everything he had ever wanted. Friends. No. Not just friends, but family. A job that he loved and was proud to do. And a love that he couldn't believe was his. Someone whose heart and soul belonged to him. Someone who owned his heart and soul in return. Yes, it was bliss, but too bad for him, it was all a lie.Vin had left Denver a year ago heartbroken and with a shattered soul. The one person that he would trust with his life had betrayed him in the worst way.
He had been ambushed by the revelation that Mary Travis and Chris Larabee were going to become parents. Ambushed because Vin and Chris were lovers. Vin had seen a lot of hurt in his life and he had lived through a lot of pain, but nothing could ever prepare him for the complete and total sense of loss and devastation that Chris's betrayal had brought to him. And now as he was staking out his bounty in a warehouse in Purgatorio, his survival instincts were screaming at him to turn around and run out of this place. But Vin Tanner had a job to finish, and finish it he would.
After leaving Denver, Vin found himself drifting from place to place. Eventually his funds had begun to run out, so he had fallen back into bounty-hunting. Vin still had many contacts from his bounty-hunting days before he had joined the ATF. He had wanted to forget all about Chris and his old life, so he had immersed himself in bringing in his bounties. If he was a good hunter before Denver, then now he was the best of the best. His reputation was growing to almost legendary proportions. He had brought in every man he had set out to find. He was so focused on the chase that he had become animal like in his pursuit. Many of the bounties just gave themselves up to him, if for no other reason than to be able to rest their weary bones after running from him but finding themselves unable to shake the wolf that was Vin Tanner.
Vin had tried to completely avoid Denver. He tried to keep his hunting to the states surrounding Colorado, but this time the chase led him to the one place he did not want to be. Vin was hidden behind some stacked up crates of guns when his mark, Rico Martino, entered the building. Martino was a major player in the gun running business and he had a hefty bounty on his head. When Martino was joined by a few more men, Vin realized that he was in the middle of a deal. As soon as he felt all the players were in his sights he called out for everyone to drop their weapons. Not knowing that Vin was alone, Martino and the rest of the men complied. As Vin walked out from behind the crates, he gave Martino a cocky grin. The smile was quickly wiped from Vin's face when another presence made itself known.
"ATF freeze. Drop your weapon and raise your hands."
Vin did as he was told. Ah, shit. It had to be ATF. Damn, why couldn't it be FBI or good old fashioned Denver P.D., he thought to himself.
Vin's arms were pulled behind him and he was roughly pushed face first against the wall.
"Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in," said Agent Harrison as he cuffed Vin and frisked him.
"What the hell are ya doin' Harrison? Take these cuffs off of me."
Mike Harrison hated Team 7 in general and Vin Tanner in particular. He hated that Team 7, with its motley crew of men had such a high success rate with its cases and that the team which by all rights should be a failure, instead worked like a well oiled machine together. Harrison especially hated that Vin, with his natural abilities and talent with a rifle, was one of the country's top sharp-shooters and that he was so well respected by his peers. Harrison always felt that the obviously uneducated agent, with his long hair and lack of respect for authority didn't belong with the ATF. So this opportunity for some fun at Tanner's expense was just too good to pass up.
"Sorry, Tanner. Can't do that. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent..."
Vin stood in silence, shaking his head. Fuck. Can things get any worse? He thought.
Vin felt him before he ever saw him. Yep, things just got much worse.
"Harrison, what the hell is going on? In case you forgot, we are your backup"
"Relax Larabee, everything is under control. Just look at who I just arrested."
Harrison spun Vin away from the wall so that he was facing Chris and the rest of Team 7. Vin couldn't help the smirk on his lips when he saw the shocked looks on the faces of his friends.
"Howdy boys." Vin's smirk had become an all out smile.
After the initial shock of seeing Vin wore off there was a chorus of voices saying, "Vin."
Vin looked away from the rest of Team 7 and his eyes met the eyes of Chris Larabee. Vin found himself getting lost in the depths of those green eyes. He wanted to look away, but he found that he couldn't.
Chris's heart was pounding as he took in the sight of Vin Tanner. It had been so long since he last saw him. God. Vin was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. Chris wanted to run to him and hold him tight. He loved Vin. He had loved him since the day he met him. He would love him until the day he died.
Neither man said a word. Chris let his eyes leave Vin and he now turned the Larabee glare on Agent Harrison.
"Take the damn cuffs off of him Harrison. Let him go."
"Don't think so, Larabee. He's going to lock up with the rest of this trash. You want him, then you go downtown to get him."
Harrison grabbed Vin and shoved him not too gently into his car.
"Harrison. You better make sure nothing happens to him. Make sure you put him in solitary. We'll be there to get him as soon as we mop up here."
"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say." Harrison drove away. He looked at Vin and laughed. "This is just too perfect. Enjoy the ride Tanner. The fun is just beginning."
Vin felt the first inkling of unease as Harrison led him through the building, bypassing the booking area and more importantly to Vin, bypassing solitary. Vin knew he was in trouble when he was led to a cell that held not only a few hard looking men waiting to be sent to a more permanent place of residence but also Rico Martino and the rest of the men that he was arrested with.
"Harrison, you can't put me in with these guys."
"Wrong again, Tanner. I can put you wherever I want, and this is the place."
"Shit. Are ya nuts? They know who I am. Ya can't do this."
Vin felt himself getting desperate. "At least take the cuffs off. Give me some kind of chance here."
Harrison just laughed at Vin as he pushed him into the cell.
"Well boys, the pretty boy here will be keeping you company until his good friends over at the ATF come and get him." With that he locked the door and started to walk away.
"Harrison. You piece of shit. I'll kill ya fer this."
Harrison laughed even louder and left Vin alone to fend for himself.
Vin was quickly surrounded by the men in the cell. He tried to get his back against the wall so he could at least keep everyone in front of him. As he sized up his opponents he knew that he was in deep trouble and that it would lead to nothing but pain for him.
Come on cowboy, I could really use some help here. In spite of the dire situation Vin found himself in, he let out a small chuckle at that thought. Before today he hadn't seen or talked to Chris in a year. He was still hurt over everything that had happened between them. Yet, he had no doubt that somehow Chris would get here and get him out of this mess he was in.
Vin was grabbed by two of his cellmates. As they held him still, another of the men in the cell walked in front of him. As he was about to throw a punch into Vin's stomach, his eyes widened with a look of shock. Although Vin's hands were cuffed behind his back, he still had use of his legs. As soon as he saw the man getting ready to hit him, Vin kicked him as hard as he could manage. Being a sharp-shooter, he always hit what he aimed for and this time he aimed right for the family jewels.
Vin, being Vin, looked down at the man, who was writhing on the floor in pain, and smirked. "Ahhh, that looks like it hurts."
Chris Larabee and Team 7 entered the jail and began to look for Vin. Chris saw Agent Harrison and went to get some answers.
"Harrison. I want Vin released right now."
"Hold your horses Larabee. Hey, Joe. Release Vin Tanner from solitary for me."
"There isn't anyone in solitary, Agent Harrison." Joe said.
"Oh. Gee. There must have been some mistake. Tanner must be in General Population. Oh, Larabee. I'm sorry. Don't know how that could have happened."
"Chris grabbed Harrison and dragged him toward the cells. Come on boys, Vin is gonna be in trouble." With those words on their minds, Team 7 rushed to help their wayward friend.
Vin's moment of triumph was short lived. He was grabbed from behind and an arm circled his neck. His legs were pushed apart and encased by the legs of the men who held him. Vin struggled, but he couldn't get away.
Rico Martino stepped in front of Vin and grabbed his face. "Well pretty boy, time to rearrange that pretty face of yours." Rico's fist connected with Vin's cheekbone. And so it began. Blow after blow. Vin could taste the blood that made its way into his mouth from his split lip. His body was being pummeled by hands and feet that were intent on bringing him pain. Breathing was getting to be painful as his ribs were attacked without mercy. His stamina gone, Vin felt his legs give out from under him, but he was not allowed to fall. He was held up by his arms and he knew the worst was yet to come.
Vin bit his lip to keep from crying out. His whole body hurt. When he looked up and saw the man he kicked standing in front of him, he knew what lay in store for him. Come on cowboy, this would be a good time to save my ass.
Just as the man was about to kick Vin, the sound of a gun being cocked stopped everyone cold.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Touch him again and I will kill you." Chris's voice combined with the steely glare caused everyone to back away from Vin. Without the support of the men holding him, Vin fell to the ground.
"Open the fucking door Harrison." The venom in Chris's voice made even the hardened criminals in the cell back away.
Harrison fumbled with the keys and stepped away as he opened the door. He knew he had made a fatal mistake. His hatred of Vin had caused him to cross the line. His little joke had just probably cost him his career but worse than that, he had just made himself seven deadly enemies.
Chris and Nathan made their way to Vin, while the rest of Team 7 stood outside the cell with their guns drawn.
Vin let out a few painful moans as Nathan checked him over.
"Vin, open your eyes and look at me. Tell me where you're hurting."
"Aw hell Nathan. Even my clothes hurt. Shit. This is what all you old fellas must feel like when ya get up in the mornin'. Well. I'm fine. Are ya gonna just look at me or are ya gonna help me get up?"
Chris and Nathan both shook their heads and laughed. Chris put his arm around Vin's waist and lifted him from the ground. With Chris and Nathan supporting him, Vin walked slowly out of the cell.
"Um...Do ya think you can take these cuffs off of me now?"
Chris took the keys from Harrison and walked behind Vin. Too bad, ya look really good with them on Chris thought to himself as he set Vin free.
"Hey, Tanner. I'm sorry about the mix up. Don't know how it happened. No hard feelings, right?" Harrison extended his hand out to shake Vin's.
Vin walked over to Harrison. He looked at the extended arm and smiled. Using every last bit of strength he had, he let loose a punch that connected to Harrison's face. Vin looked down at the body laying unconscious at his feet. "No hard feelings at all...Asshole."
Vin hissed in pain and his body swayed as all his strength and energy left him. Nathan and Chris helped him to sit on a bench in the hallway away from the cells.
"Vin, you should let us take you to the hospital."
"Ain't goin' ta no hospital, Nathan. I'm fine. Just beat up is all."
Vin slowly lifted himself off of the bench. His body protested and he moaned as pain overtook him and he collapsed back on to the bench.
"Damn stubborn Texan" said Nathan. "You need to see a doctor. We can do this the easy way or the hard. Either way, we are taking you to the hospital."
"Let's go Junior. I don't think you're up to fighting all of us." Buck said.
Vin glanced at each of the six men. He could see by the looks on their faces that he had no choice. He was going to the hospital whether he wanted to or not.
"Let's go." Vin said with resignation.
TWO
Vin emerged from the examining room leaning heavily on Nathan. The two men made their way over to their waiting friends."He was lucky," Nathan said. "Nothing is broken. Ribs are bruised, hell, he's bruised all over. He just needs to take it easy for a while."
"Hell, Vin. You look worse than when you went in."
Vin glared at Buck. "Feel worse. I'm so tired."
"Pain killers are starting to kick in. Where are you staying? One of us will stay with you."
"Not stayin' anywhere Nathan, I hadn't planned that far yet."
Chris's eyes met Vin's and he spoke the words he'd been wanting to say for the past year. "Come home, um, come to the ranch."
"I don't think that would be a good idea, Chris. No. I. I can't."
Chris could see how much Vin was hurting. He could see Vin's face visably paling and he could see Vin's jaw clenched with pain. "Please, Vin. Just come to the ranch and let me take care of you. You said yourself that you had no place to go. Please just come and maybe we can...just come with me."
Vin's heart and his mind were warring with each other. He knew going to the ranch was not what he should do. He knew he was setting himself up for another fall, but he didn't care. His body was weak and his defenses were down. The medication was draining the fight right out of him. He was hurting and he wanted to be taken care of. He wanted to feel the familiar comfort of being with Chris at the ranch. It didn't matter that it couldn't be forever. He just...wanted and for once he was going to take care of that want...consequences be damned.
"Okay, Chris. I'll come to the ranch."
Chris smiled. He let Vin lean on him as they walked out of the jail to Chris's waiting truck. If they had glanced behind, they would have seen the rest of Team 7 looking at them with visible relief and wide smiles on their faces. Although he had no idea that he did it, Agent Harrison had managed to do what no-one else had a clue how to do. He brought Vin Tanner and Chris Larabee together again. Now, they all hoped that destiny would take care of the rest.
Silence. Awkward and nerve wracking. The silence in the truck was deafening. The two men had not said a word to each other. Chris remained silent in the fear of Vin changing his mind. Vin remained silent in the fear of losing his resolve to go to the ranch.
God, how things have changed. Vin thought. They had always been able to enjoy a comfortable silence between them. They never really had a need to voice things out loud. The two of them had always been able to speak volumes to each other without saying a word. Not so long ago the silence was a sign of peace and comfort for them. Now it emphasized the distance between them.
Chris pulled the truck onto the ranch property. As he started to drive up to the house, he heard a slight gasp escape from Vin.
"Peso."
The word was spoken so softly that Chris almost missed it. Chris looked to the corral and saw what had finally broken the silence in the truck.
Peso was out running wild and free. Chris could see the sadness come into Vin's eyes. Vin loved that horse and leaving it behind had to have been heartbreaking for him. I'm sorry Vin. I'm so sorry. I really did take everything from you.
Chris stopped the truck in front of the house. Vin slowly got out and the two of them made their way to the front door. Vin looked on the porch and saw the baby carriage leaning against the wall. Shit, I shouldn't have come here. Why the hell did I do this to myself?
Chris opened the door and led Vin into the living room. Nothing in the room had changed. Vin thought for sure that the house would have had Mary's touch to it, but everything was as he had left it. Everything except for the baby swing in the corner of the room. He walked over to the fireplace and looked at the pictures on the mantle. He was shocked to see a picture of him and Chris on display. His eye's were drawn to a silver frame. He caught his breath as he looked at a picture of one of the most beautiful babies he had ever seen, being cuddled by a very proud looking father. He put the picture back and his eyes drank in the sights of this familiar room.
Vin was not prepared for the tidal wave of emotions and memories that assaulted him. All the wanting and the longing of the past year hit him so hard that he felt himself swaying. He knew that for himself this past year was spent merely existing, not living. Living, for Vin, was connected to this house and to this man that he had loved with all his heart and that he still loved.
Vin could see the ghosts of the past. The two of them talking and laughing. Sharing thier lives. Making love. Loving Chris in front of the fireplace was one of Vin's most treasured memories. His life had been perfect. Then, sooner than he would ever have thought possible, his life was over.
One careless mistake. One devastating betrayal. A new life begun and an old life left behind. One man left to try to pick up the pieces. A man left brokenhearted and lost. A man whose mind was urging him to move on, but whose heart and soul were deperately trying to hold on to all that he held dear.
This was Vin Tanner's life for the past year. Heart and mind constantly at war with each other. Needing to get on with his life, but unable to stop wanting and longing for the man he would forever love and for the life he had left behind. For Vin, the worst part of it all was knowing that he would never again have that life. What he wanted didn't matter. Chris had a new life. A child. He had Mary.
Vin's legs gave way under him. He felt Chris wrap his arms around him. "Vin...are you alright? God. Please, sit down, before you end up on the floor."
"I, uh. I can't stay here. I need to get out of here. Please Chris. Just take me to Nettie's."
"No. Sorry Vin. I can't do that. We need to talk and I'm not letting you walk away from me again until we do."
Vin felt the anger rise up in him and he was going to let it loose on Chris.
"You're not gonna let me? Fuck you, Larabee. In case you forgot, you have no right to make me do anything. There is no "we" anymore. You made a choice, and that choice sure as hell wasn't me. Besides I don't think the lady of the house will be too thrilled to see me here. "
The anger gone, Vin softly said, "I can't take watching you living a life that I can never be a part of. I can't see you with Mary. Chris, please. This is destroying me. Please. I should never have come here. Just give me a ride, so I can leave."
Chris's eyes roamed up and down Vin's body. His own heart was pained beyond belief when he saw the look of sorrow in Vin's eyes and the crushing weight of defeat in Vin's body. He had to get through to Vin. He had to make it right.
Letting out his breath Chris was determined to fix things. He just hoped it really wasn't too late.
"Vin. Listen to me. Things are not the way you think they are. Look around you. Haven't you noticed how quiet things are here?"
"What's your point Chris. So, Mary and...What did ya name your baby?"
Chris smiled. "Her name is Hope."
"So, Mary and Hope are out or something? I still don't get what the house being quiet has to do with anything."
"Mary and Hope don't live here. I have the baby every other weekend, and a few days during the week. Mary has never lived here."
Vin was shocked. He had expected Mary and Chris to be living together. Maybe even be married. He couldn't stop the voices in his mind telling him that things could work out. He stood tall when he felt the stirring of hope in his heart. "Why aren't you together? What happened?"
"Sometimes getting something or someone doesn't quite live up to the build up of the wanting. Mary thought she got what she wanted. She wanted me to love her, but I couldn't. Not when I was in love with you. When Mary accepted that, she moved on. She didn't want to settle for what life with me would be for her."
"What about Hope?"
"Well, that's in the hands of the lawyers now. Hopefully, it will work out."
Bitter disappointment and sorrow invaded Vin's soul. His hope crushed, he sank down into the chair and looked straight into the green eyes that were trying to read him.
"Chris. I won't be the cause of you losing another child. And I won't be the cause of your child losing out on a relationship with you. If Mary takes you to court, she will make me an issue and if she wins...You'd end up without your child. You'd end up hating me because of it and I'd end up hating myself...See, Chris, we both lose again.
Vin stood up and headed for the door. He looked at Chris and gave him a sad smile. "I should go."
"Vin. Mary and I both love Hope. We both love her enough that we would never use her against each other. You're concerned about something that has already been settled. The lawyers are just making it official."
"Besides, I'm not going to let Mary dictate my life. I did that once and I lost you because of it. I won't do that again."
Chris was watching Vin's face as he took in what Chris had just said. He could see Vin's blue eyes display all the emotions that Vin had going through him. Chris had to look away, because Vin's eyes always told his story and sometimes it was just too painful to see.
Chris was suddenly hit with a overwhelming feeling of fear. Looking at Vin he thought of something that he never considered before.
"Vin. Is there someone else? Are you in love with someone else?"
Vin let out a long sigh and looked right into Chris's eyes.
"I've spent the past year bouncing from place ta place. I've met a few people along the way, but I never let anything happen beyond a dinner. I couldn't. I couldn't start anything knowing that I would only end up leaving and I'd be alone again. I knew I would never love someone like I loved you. So I never stayed long enough in one place to chance it."
"Do you still love me, Vin? Are you still in love with me?"
Vin closed his eyes. He wanted to tell Chris how he felt. Could he risk having his heart shattered even more? His instinct for self preservation was urging him not to answer that question.
After a few seconds, Vin looked at Chris. He wouldn't run away from the truth, no matter what it cost him.
"Yeah, Chris. So help me God, but I don't see that ever changing."
Chris felt relief wash over him. Maybe he could fix this. Maybe he could reach Vin after all.
Chris did not want to push Vin. He did not want to scare him off. But he had to know where they stood. He couldn't go on like this any more.
"Can you forgive me? I've waited so long for you to come back here. I need to know if you'll give me a chance to make things right again."
"I do forgive ya Chris. I just don't know if things will ever be the same for us again. You hurt me Chris. You broke my heart. I couldn't take that again."
"I can't change what happened, Vin. I never meant to hurt you. I don't deserve it, but I'm asking for another chance. Just promise me Vin. Promise me that you'll come home. Come home to me."
The two men sat in front of the fireplace, watching as the flames consumed the wood. Chris held his breath, hoping against hope that he wasn't seeing his life with Vin going up in flames. He let out his breath when he heard the soft raspy voice.
"I promise."
Chris wrapped his arms around Vin. They each let themselves savor the feeling of being close to each other again.
"You know. I happen to know of a job opening for a sharpshooter with my Team."
Vin's eyebrows shot up at that. "You still don't have a sharpshooter."
"Well we've kept the position open and filled it with temporary guys. See, we had this long haired Texan. A real wise ass, but one hell of a shot. He left some really big shoes to fill. Think you might know someone who's interested?"
"Yep, I just might."
They both stopped laughing at the same time.
"I'm glad you're home, Vin... I...can't believe how lucky I am that you're willing to try again.
"Chris. I love you. Always have. Always will. I'll always keep a place for you, here." Vin placed his hand over his heart. "Right here in my heart."
The kiss. Slow at first, then with more and more passion. The silence between them now as it had always been, comforting and peaceful. Blue eyes met green. Volumes spoken without ever having to say a word.
Chris led Vin to the bedroom and eased him onto the bed.
Vin looked at Chris with eyes that were full of desire and want.
Chris softly laughed. "For tonight, Vin. Just let me take care of you. If you're feeling up to it tomorrow...I can welcome you back."
Vin smiled as he felt Chris's arms pulling him closer.
He was home...He had finally come home...
The End.....
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