Learning to Improvise… Chapter 3

by Katherine

Buck slouched in his chair in front of the saloon. He’d been sitting there for most of the morning. In truth, he’d gotten very little sleep last night. Too many thoughts seemed bound and determined to chase themselves through his mind, like a dog trying to catch it’s own tail.

After he’d seen Josiah safely home to the church from the saloon last night, Buck had been unable to relax. He’d had the same problem in the past trying to wind down from stressful situations. The tough stuff would be over with, but it would take him hours to finally be able to put it completely behind him. Finding and fighting with the rustlers, Vin getting shot, the race back to Four Corners and then back to Vin and Chris, Ezra nearly shooting Josiah. It all added up to one of the more stressful days of Buck’s life.

He’d gone to the jail, and kept JD company until midnight. Still restless, he’d thought about visiting one of his lady friends, but he wasn’t really in the mood for company. He’d finally ended up in his own room, spending a few hours staring at the ceiling, until sleep finally claimed him. And for reasons he didn’t totally understand, Buck was awake at the crack of dawn.

The same thoughts had been running around in his head since he’d gotten up. Buck found himself going over last night again and again. Trying to sort out exactly what had happened and why. Other details found their way in as well, images and thoughts that Buck simply couldn’t seem to banish as being unimportant.

Ezra, and Vin, riding back in the wagon together. Ezra and Vin hiding out on the saloon roof, only their laughter giving them away. Vin and Ezra sitting next to each other at the table, the same secret smile playing on both their faces. Vin putting himself between Ezra and Josiah, forcing the preacher to stay at least arms length away. Vin coming to Ezra’s defense more than once when someone made a derogatory comment. Ezra offering a piece of candy to Vin after he’d given pieces to several children. Ezra, on the clinic landing, demanding answers about Vin’s condition, subtly threatening violence if Buck didn’t respond. Ezra willingly allowing Vin to touch him when he rejected physical contact from nearly everyone else.

There is something I’m missing. Definitely. Just not sure what. Buck sighed. He felt like he was trying to put together a puzzle with some critical pieces lost. He wasn’t even sure what picture he was trying to construct.

He knew whatever was going on between Vin and Ezra it had been going on for awhile. Month. Maybe longer. Buck realized that many of those stray thoughts, and images, were proof of that. They were things he’d noticed, without even being conscious that he had noticed. Every man needs to have someone he can count on. Vin and Ez maybe a damn sight more than most, what with that bounty on Vin, and Ez bein’ a gambler. So why do I get the feeling it’s more than that? More than just good friends. Maybe a lot more.

Buck sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He didn’t like puzzles. He preferred things to be simple, straightforward, and honest. Buck made a decision. First chance I get, I’m just gonna ask. Be easier than tryin’ ta figure it out.

Buck smiled slightly. Ezra would definitely answer him. The man always did. He just tended to use a lot of words, half of which, Buck didn’t understand. It sometimes made asking a question something of an exercise in futility. Vin, on the other hand, would give a short, simple answer, but Buck found that he often didn’t walk away knowing any more from the tracker than he did from Ezra. Well, this time, I’ll jus’ have ta stick with it, and make ‘em tell me what I want to know. Buck nodded to himself, pleased with his decision and his resolve.

He watched Ezra leave the boarding house, and head for the restaurant. A few minutest later, the cardsharp headed for the jail. Buck noted that the man looked a hell of a lot better than he had the day before. Not nearly so pale, the dark circles under his eyes were gone, and he seemed to be moving with his usual grace and energy again.

Buck was relieved. Last night, he hadn’t been completely sure it was the right thing to leave Vin with Ezra. Hell one was wounded, and the other weren’t exactly acting like himself. Buck had deferred to Chris, trusting his old friend’s judgement of the situation was more accurate than his own. Looks like the old war dog was right. Ez must have gotten some sleep. Wonder if Vin slept all right. Hope so. Boy needed his rest too.

He saw Ezra leave the jail, heading for the stable, and ride out on Chaucer a few minutes later. Ezra tipped his hat to Buck, with a small smile, as he rode by. Buck nodded back, honestly surprised that Ezra had even been aware he was there. Ezra had seemed preoccupied, his focus inward, but then the man always seemed to know where people were and what they were doing, even if he didn’t appear to be paying attention. To date, Buck had yet to catch the conman unaware.

Buck was fairly certain that he’d never understand Ezra. Not if he lived to be a hundred. Buck smiled, when he realized that thought didn’t bother him much. He liked Ezra anyway. Can’t say things are ever really boring with him around.

It wasn’t long after Ezra rode out when Chris left the jail and head for the restaurant. Buck watched him leave with a tray, heading for the boarding house. Judging from the dark clad gunslinger’s determined stride and expression, Buck was pretty sure that Chris was going to get himself some answers. Safe bet Vin’s got ‘em too. Wonder when he plans on tellin’ the rest o’ us.

Buck stroked his mustache, deep in thought. No…won’t be tellin’ all of us. Jus’ me an’ Josiah. No need ta tell JD or Nate. They weren’t there. Would be too hard to explain it. Hell, if I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t believe Ez would pull a gun on Josiah. JD would probably think it was a joke. An’ Nate would most likely go off on Ez like it was his fault, which it ain’t.

Buck shook his head and sat up straight. He abandoned the idea of taking a nap, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to. He wouldn’t be able to really relax until he knew what had happened last night, and that it wouldn’t happen again. Or if it did happen, that he would know how to handle it.

Buck got up, and headed for the jail. Might as well keep an eye on our rustler ‘til Chris gets back. He knew Chris wouldn’t be gone long.

Buck poured himself a cup of coffee before sitting down behind the desk. He leaned back and propped his feet up on the desk, pushing the chair back on two legs. He rocked slowly as he sipped the dark, bitter brew. He knew without a doubt Chris had made this pot. Only man I know who can make coffee strong enough to float a brick and still have it taste good.

Buck glanced toward the cell. JD told him their prisoner’s name last night but for the life of him Buck couldn’t remember it. He shrugged. Don’t really matter as long as the feller is asleep. Ain’t like I want to talk to him anyway.

He’d just finished his coffee when Chris entered. Buck nodded to his old friend. Chris raised an eyebrow, and frowned at him.

"What are you doin’ here, Buck?"

Buck shrugged, and dropped his feet to the floor, letting the chair fall forward with a soft thump. "Figured somebody ought ta watch the jail while ya talked to Vin."

"Didn’t think you’d be awake yet." Chris poured himself another cup, and raised the pot in a silent offer to Buck.

Buck held out his cup letting Chris fill it again. "Yeah, me either, but here I am."

Chris pursed his lips slightly. "What’s wrong?"

"Couldn’t sleep." Buck smirked. "Figured I might as well make myself useful."

Chris sipped his coffee. "Ain’t like you to have trouble sleeping."

Buck rolled his eyes. "Sure it is. You remember?" During the war it wasn’t uncommon for Buck to get only a few hours a night. He was infamous for walking the sentry lines, double checking the camp, and watching out for his men.

Chris sat down in the other chair, and looked hard at Buck. "Haven’t had that problem in awhile."

"Yeah, well, haven’t had too many days like yesterday either."

"True."

Buck sipped his coffee. "Vin all right?"

Chris nodded. "Wants ta be up and around."

That wasn’t exactly unexpected. Buck grinned. He would have been worried if the Texan wasn’t trying to leave. "You convince him ta stay put?"

"For awhile. Someone will have ta ride herd on him ‘til Nate says he’s free ta come and go."

"Someone? You mean Ez." Buck took a shot in the dark. He knew he’d hit home when Chris’ eyes narrowed. Chris was never any better at poker than I am. Good thing. Don’t need any more friends I can’t read than I already got. One is plenty.

"Chris, a blind man could tell there is somethin’ goin’ on." Buck pointed out, his tone mild. "You wanna let me in?"

Chris shook his head firmly. "You’ll have to ask them."

"Fair enough." Buck hadn’t really expected any other answer. Chris had made it clear last night that he wasn’t willing to tell what he knew. Buck had just thought it might save time to talk to Chris first. Always look for the easy way. Sometimes ya get lucky, and can take it.

"Ezra looked a lot better this morning." Buck stated after a moment of silence.

"You saw him?"

Buck nodded. "On his way outta town." Buck regarded Chris steadily. "Vin say anything?"

Chris took a deep breath. Buck was surprised to see a cold, bleak look suddenly appear. He hadn’t seen that particular look for a long time. Buck waited, knowing better than to ask for more. If Chris was going to tell him, he would. If he wasn’t, no amount of asking would get him to.

Chris closed his eyes, and took another deep breath. "Vin said a damn sight more than I expected."

Buck tried to lighten the mood a bit. "Hell, when he says more than five words at a time, it’s more than I expected."

Chris chuckled dryly. "You used to say the same thing ‘bout me."

"Was the truth then." Buck flashed a quick grin. "Some days it still is."

Chris’ lips quirked up into a half smile before he sobered again. "Ezra wants ta talk to you and Josiah when he gets back."

Buck raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Didn’t expect him to want to do it so soon." Figured another day, maybe two.

Chris shrugged one shoulder, and sipped his coffee. His eyes turned toward the far wall, but Buck knew it wasn’t what Chris was looking at. "Were it me, I’m not sure I’d ever say anything." Chris’ voice was whisper soft, almost as though he hadn’t meant to speak out loud. He shuddered once, and then looked back at Buck. "Vin wants to be there."

That didn’t surprise Buck at all. "So we’ll be doin’ this in yer room?"

Chris nodded. "Seemed appropriate."

"Can see that." Buck nodded. Finish it where it started. Sort o’ poetic. He cocked his head to study Chris. He looks a bit peeked. "You okay?"

Chris nodded slowly. "Yeah, Buck. I’m fine." Chris rubbed one hand over his face. "Jus’ been a rough couple o’ days. Ya know?"

"All too well." Buck sighed silently. He’d been there for most of it. Got the feelin’ it was the last hour or so that did Chris in. He didn’t look this rough last night. "You eat breakfast?"

"Ate with Vin."

Buck studied Chris more closely. "You want me to stay?"

Chris shook his head. "Go get yourself something to eat. I’ll be fine."

"You sure?"

Chris waved a hand toward the door. He looked annoyed. "Go mother hen someone else."

Buck chuckled, as he stood up. He felt better, relaxed. Talking to Chris, even if they never said much, or solved anything, always had that affect on him. Buck yawned and stretched as he left the jail. Eat breakfast, and then I’ll catch a nap. Be ready for when Ez gets back.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra rode back toward town shortly before noon. As expected, things on his patrol had been quiet. The only issue of concern had been Mrs. Cavanaugh. The child had indeed come early. Nathan had stopped the bleeding, and Mrs. Cavanaugh seemed to be recovering, but it didn’t look good for the baby. The healer hadn’t given up yet, but Ezra privately thought he fought a loosing battle. He fervently hoped he was wrong, but the young, and the weak, rarely survived in this harsh environment.

Ezra silently wished Nathan good luck. He would have offered to help, but knew his help would not be welcomed, and in truth, there was little he could do. He spent a few minutes talking with Mr. Cavanaugh, and his young son, offering what little reassurance, and comfort, he had to give. After checking to see if there was anything Nate needed, and assuring him that Vin was doing fine, Ezra had continued his patrol.

The quiet ride gave him a lot of time to think. His thoughts kept drifting back to his conversation with Vin. He didn’t regret sharing his past with Vin. He had expected to, but instead of feeling uneasy, ashamed or embarrassed, Ezra found he felt more light-hearted than he had in a long time.

I may have been more honest with Vin than I realized when I said it was a burden I was tired of carrying alone. Funny. I never would have expected silence to be such a heavy thing to hold. Secrets are indeed things of substance and weight. Small wonder so many people are eager to share them, and so few secrets are ever really kept.

Ezra found he was uneasy thinking about what Chris’ reaction might be. Ezra fully expected Vin to share most, if not all, of what he had told him. Ah well, it’s not as if Mr. Larabee actually liked me. Most days, he barely tolerates my presence.

The gambler sighed heavily. He’d given his permission, and it was too late to withdraw it. Second thoughts not withstanding, he’d meant what he’d told Chris that morning. Vin would need someone to talk to, and Chris would likely be his first choice. The tracker trusted Chris completely. Ezra respected that, knowing the gunslinger to be trustworthy where Vin was concerned.

He hadn’t wanted Vin to feel compelled to remain silent, the way he’d felt for so many years. If his lover needed someone to talk to about what Ezra had unloaded on him, then Ezra would do his best to make sure he had it. Nothing has really been lost. It isn’t as if Mr. Larabee respected me before. If he thinks less of me, well, it isn’t as though I’ll have fallen from some great height.

Ezra was honestly less concerned with what Chris might think of him, than how what he thought might affect Ezra’s relationship with Vin. He seemed to be coming to terms with our liaison. An unexpected ally, to be sure. That does not mean he will accept this latest revelation with good grace.

Ezra tensed at the thought of just how bad things might be between himself and their reluctant leader. Chaucer danced to one side, reacting to the unease he felt coming from his rider. Ezra patted Chaucer’s neck affectionately, settling the gelding easily. "My apologies, my friend. I had not meant to disturb you."

With the skill of a lifetime of practice, Ezra forced himself to consider all the possible outcomes, no matter how distressing or frightening they might be. He had found prior planning to be invaluable in the past. Ezra really did abhor gambling. He’d much rather take the time to work through the options, and make an educated, calculated risk, than trust his fate entirely to luck. Luck was far too fickle, and he preferred to know ahead of time that he was ready for whichever way the lady chose to jump.

He carefully reviewed each scenario, weighed the odds, and decided on his best course of action. No matter what happened, he was determined to stay with Vin, until the Texan told him that he was no longer wanted. Everything else was incidental. Ezra could put up with a hell of a lot if it meant being with Vin.

Ezra nodded to himself. Just have to take the good with the bad, Ezra. Nothing is free. You already knew that. Ezra was fully aware that the price to be paid for being with Vin might well be tolerating Chris’ derision, and dislike. That would be nothing new, although the level of intensity, and the reason for it, may have changed. As long as the gunslinger didn’t say or do anything to Vin, Ezra was comfortable with that. He’d put up with worse. Much worse.

On a small hill, just out side of town, Ezra stopped. He studied Four Corners with a critical eye. It was not a place he’d ever expected to find himself thinking of as home. In truth, Four Corners was not his home. It wasn’t the ramshackle buildings, or the dusty streets, Ezra found so attractive. It was the men he worked with. Despite their differences, or perhaps because of them, Ezra liked and respected the others. He enjoyed the camaraderie, even if he was on the fringe most of the time. He liked being a part of something positive, of belonging. It would hurt like hell to have to leave.

It won’t come to that. Ezra snorted, at his own assertion, knowing it to be a lie. Eventually, the town would no longer need them. It would someday settle down, and seven hired guns would be a thing of the past. JD might choose to remain as sheriff. Chris had his ranch, and if he continued to pursuit her, he might have Mary Travis as well. A real doctor would probably arrive at some point, and Nathan would be forced to move on. Perhaps to the village, perhaps even further, depending on whether Rain was still waiting. Josiah could probably find a place for himself anywhere, but once the town became established, the people would likely prefer a more traditional man of God. It was hard to guess where Buck might end up. And Vin…well, there was the bounty still hanging over his head, and the tracker’s natural animosity toward civilization.

Ezra smiled slightly. If he were lucky, he would be allowed to remain, staying with the others, until forced out by circumstance. If he were very lucky, he would still be with Vin when that happened. If the fates deigned to smile favorably, he’d be with Vin until the day he died, but Ezra wasn’t inclined to look that far ahead. Too much could happen in between, and it was sometimes best to simply life one day at a time.

It may well be that Mother was right. It is best not to form attachments. Ezra sighed. Far too late for second thoughts. I am already attached. I simply need to see about how to stay that way.

Shaking off his thoughts, Ezra nudged Chaucer forward. No point in trying to delay the inevitable. Mr. Larabee is expecting me to be back soon. He would send someone to fetch me if I dallied too long.

Ezra rode into town, and headed directly for the stable. It was usually empty this time of day, and Ezra was grateful for that, wanting solitude for as long as possible. He was unsaddling Chaucer when he felt someone enter. Without seeming to do so, Ezra made sure his weapons were ready, and within easy reach, before turning with studied carelessness, to see who’d come in. I might have guessed. The only man who’s aura I can actually feel.

"Good day, Mr. Larabee."

"Ezra." Chris dipped his head in a slight nod of acknowledgement.

Chris leaned against a nearby stall, arms folded, watching as Ezra returned his saddle to its usual place. Ezra picked Chaucer’s favorite brush and began attending to his mount. He let the repetitious act sooth his nerves, careful to maintain the air of calm unconcern. It wouldn’t do for the gunslinger to know his presence made Ezra feel uneasy. He hadn’t expected to see Chris quite so soon. Ezra had hoped to get a minute or two alone with Vin before having to face the music. C’est la vie.

"Everything quiet?"

"Positively tranquil." Ezra glanced up, briefly making eye contact, and then went back to work. "Mr. Jackson will likely remain at the Cavanaugh ranch for a few more days. Although, he indicated he will attempt to return tonight if all goes well."

"Missus all right?"

Ezra nodded. "She seems to be. Unfortunately, the child is not proving to be so resilient."

"Nate think the baby will make it?"

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "Hope springs forth eternal, Mr. Larabee."

"Damn." Chris swore softly, correctly reading Ezra’s doubt that the child would survive.

Ezra finished his self-appointed task, and patted Chaucer’s shoulder as he left the stall. He had considered dragging it out, but he wasn’t sure how patient Chris intended to be. The man looked like he might willingly hold up the stable all day, but Ezra knew looks were deceiving. Deception, was after all, the very core of his chosen profession.

Ezra sighed silently, and mentally prepared himself for whatever was coming. No point in trying the man’s patience two days in a row. Despite assertions to the contrary, I do not have a death wish.

"Shall we go and visit Mr. Tanner?" Ezra gestured toward the door, offering to let Chris precede him.

"In a minute." Chris held out a hand, reaching to halt Ezra’s move toward the door.

Without even thinking about it, Ezra gracefully eluded Chris’ reach by moving back a step. Ezra raised one eyebrow, when Chris flinched in response to Ezra’s move. Odd. "Mr. Larabee?"

"Sorry, Ez."

Ezra frowned in confusion. "For what?"

Chris stepped back, giving Ezra more room. "Know you don’t like to be touched. Didn’t mean ta crowd you."

Ezra looked away, embarrassed. His unease had manifested itself in his ingrained habit of trying to maintain distance between himself and others. He was generally comfortable with initiating contact, but avoided it when others approached him first, wanting to ascertain the intent first. It never occurred to him, that his actions last night would draw attention to this idiosyncrasy. He certainly hadn’t intended for the others to feel the need to modify their behavior around him. The last thing he wanted was for Chris to treat him differently than he had.

"There is no need to apologize, Mr. Larabee. I realize my behavior last night may have led you to believe I am inherently unstable, but please be assured I have no intention of loosing control in such a fashion again. You are in no danger from me."

"I know that." Chris sounded exasperated. "Never thought I was."

"Then why—" Ezra stared at him, green eyes raking over the older man in a second. He swallowed hard, and braced himself. "Vin told you everything, I take it." Ezra’s voice sounded far calmer than he felt, seeking confirmation of what he already knew.

Chris cocked his head to one side, his expression thoughtful. "Don’t know if he told everything. Not sure how much there is." Chris’ eyes held Ezra’s. "Vin jus’ told me about what happened when your were thirteen. And that fella, St. John." Chris all but spit out the name, eyes glowing with an emotion Ezra couldn’t name. "It went a long way toward clearin’ up what happened last night."

"Ah." Very nearly everything then. "Vin--" Ezra stopped not sure what to say. What he really wanted to ask was if his lover had become distraught, or incensed when he told Chris the story. Had talking to Chris helped or hindered. How do I ask if my lover’s best friend if was able to supply the needed support without implying that he might not have been able to? And do I honestly want to know if Vin lost it trying to discuss the fact that my history is far from pristine?

Chris surprised him when he spoke, seemingly able to read Ezra’s mind. "You were right. He did need ta talk about it. Was a good thing you did lettin’ him know he could talk to me. Seemed to help." Chris shifted his weight slightly. "Other than wantin’ ta kill yer mother, I’d say he’s as okay as he was when ya left."

Ezra sighed. He had hoped that Vin might have relinquished his anger by now. Fool’s bet. He was more than angry. It was unrealistic to expect him to let it go so quickly. Very few people harbored neutral feelings about his mother, himself included. She was loved or hated, admired or despised, leaving very little middle ground where she was concerned. And very few ever changed their minds once they’d decided what to think of her. Ezra always thought of Maude was a force of nature, something akin to a tornado. One didn’t judge or control such things, you admired their stark, devastating beauty, even as you fled from it, hoping to avoid its destructive path.

"My mother is an extraordinary woman, Mr. Larabee. She has a tendency to generate strong emotions."

"That’s one way of putting it." Chris snorted derisively, eyes flashing with anger. "She should never have done that to you. Ought to be strung up by her thumbs."

Ezra looked at Chris, somewhat perplexed. He hadn’t expected anger on his behalf. At him, certainly. For him, was not a reaction he’d foreseen. "Please, Mr. Larabee…let it go. I did not enlighten Vin about my past with the intention of exacting revenge or restitution for every slight done to my person."

Chris growled. "Slight? Ezra, this wasn’t some insult. It was--"

"I know exactly what it was." Ezra said firmly, cutting Chris off, not wanting to dwell on his past any more than he already had. "Believe me, I am fully cognizant of the true nature of what transpired." More so than I wish to be.

Ezra shrugged, easing the tension he could feel rising. "It is done. Nearly ancient history." Ezra smiled sadly. "Harboring or encouraging hostility toward my mother will not change the past."

"Still isn’t right." Chris insisted, a stubborn set to his jaw.

"Right or wrong no longer matter. It is already done. Passing judgement on the issue will not alter it." Ezra stated firmly.

Chris frowned, but nodded. Ezra got the distinct impression the gunslinger didn’t agree with him, but was willing to let it go for now. The gambler would take whatever he could get.

Arguing the merits of a done deed rarely fixes anything. I should probably wire Mother, and warn her not to put in an appearance in this town for some time. It would not be safe for her to be here. Not with Vin still angry, and likely to stay that way for some time. And Chris…well, I’m sure he’ll let this go soon enough. It is not as if he had any reason to hold a grudge.

Chris gave him the same careful once over that he had when Ezra walked into the jail. "I’m sorry."

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "You already apologized, Mr. Larabee. It really isn’t necessary. You didn’t do anything that would warrant an apology."

Chris waved a hand. "No..not for…not for what I did. For what I didn’t do."

Ezra looked at him, honest confusion coloring his features. "I don’t understand."

Chris cleared his throat. "I should have said something to Josiah before about leaving you alone."

Ezra smirked. Ah…as our leader, he feels he failed somewhere or last night might not have transpired. "It was hardly your responsibility. I am an adult, fully capable of seeing after my own needs. I should have made my wishes more clearly known."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Don’t think you could have been any clearer. Must have told him a hundred times not to touch you or call you son."

Ezra’s lips quirked upward in a half smile. "One of Mr. Sanchez’s more admirable qualities is his persistence. He is not easily dissuaded."

"Persistent?" Chris grimaced. "You had ta draw down on him, Ez, ta get him to listen. Never should have come to that. Ya were this close," Chris held thumb and forefinger close together, but not quite touching, "ta shooting the man."

Ezra shifted his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly uncomfortable with where Chris might be heading. He deeply regretted his loss of control. He feared the gunslinger might no longer want him to stay if he couldn’t be trusted to be able to identify friend from foe. Understandable sentiment. Threatening one’s fellow peacekeeper is not exactly an action most would deem acceptable. I’ll just have to convince him that it was a singular incident and will not be repeated.

"I assure you, Mr. Larabee, it won’t happen again."

"Yer damn right it won’t." Chris hissed. In spite of himself, Ezra winced, hearing in that an admonishment for his uncharacteristic behavior. Chris saw it, and took a step forward, narrowing the distance between them. "Didn’t mean that as a criticism of you, Ez. Jus’ meant that when we talk to Josiah, we make sure he understands. It’s him that needs ta behave, not you."

Ezra looked at him, green eyes wide. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around what Chris had said. I must have misunderstood. "Excuse me?"

Chris smiled gently. "I don’t blame you. What happened last night…it shouldn’t have happened. And it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been treating you differently than I do the others."

Ezra shook his head. He really must not assume responsibility for circumstances over which he had no control. "Mr. Larabee—"

Chris held up a hand. "I would never have let Josiah push the others the way he pushed you." Chris looked away for a moment, expression remorseful. "I thought you were just being a pain in the ass. Just pitchin’ a fit about things like the spoiled brat I assumed you were." Chris hung his head for a moment. "Shames me ta admit it, but I sort o’ enjoyed the fact that Josiah was makin’ you uncomfortable."

Ezra stared at him. For the first time in his life, Ezra was at a loss for words. His best-case scenario had involved things remaining the same, status quo. Never had he envisioned being on the receiving end of a confession. Chris didn’t seem aware of how much he’d stunned him.

"I never thought about you for even a second. About what you wanted, what you thought, or how you saw the situation. Never occurred ta me that you might have a damn good reason for wantin’ Josiah to keep his distance."

Chris squared his shoulders, and faced Ezra. "I owe you an apology for that. I was wrong, and I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me for being an ass."

Forgive you? Oh dear lord. Ezra reached up with one hand and placed the back of it against Chris’ forehead. Chris caught his wrist, pushing his hand away. "What are you doing?"

"Checking for a fever." Ezra answered, his tone very matter-of-fact. When Chris glared at him, Ezra grinned, dimples flashing briefly. "I am fairly certain you were suffering from some sort of illness induced delirium."

"Ezra, I’m serious."

So was I. It was either illness or too much to drink. Since drinking tends to make you mean, I assumed it was the former. Ezra sighed softly, trying to determine the best course of action. He had no experience with something like this. "You really mean it?"

"Yes!" Chris snarled at him. "Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it."

The gunslinger’s reaction was reassuring. It was far more what Ezra was used to, and comfortable with. Ezra studied Chris silently for several minutes. The man honestly means it!! Wonders never cease. Hmmm…I wonder if I should, in the future, rethink what constitutes a best-case option. No…better not to be too optimistic, it generally ends in disappointment.

"Mr. Larabee…As I said before, you didn’t do anything that warrants an apology." Ezra held up a hand when Chris opened his mouth to speak again. "However, I can appreciate your need to offer some sort of verbal expiation, despite my protestation to the contrary."

"Meaning?" Chris looked confused and slightly wary.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "Apology accepted." He held out a hand, and Chris shook it firmly.

Chris didn’t immediately relinquish his grip. "Ezra?"

"Mr. Larabee?" Ezra raised an eyebrow. Now what?

"You think, maybe, you could just call me Chris from now on?"

Ezra chuckled, and withdrew his hand from Chris’. "I shall consider it."

"Fair enough." Chris waved a hand toward the door. "Why don’t you go see Vin. I’ll swing by the restaurant and grab lunch for you."

"That isn’t necessary, Mr. Larabee." Knowing that Buck and Josiah would be putting in an appearance, probably within the hour, had been a real damper on Ezra’s appetite. He wasn’t hungry. He probably wouldn’t be hungry until the last of this was settled.

Chris gave him a stern look. "You didn’t eat breakfast."

"I never eat breakfast." Ezra rolled his eyes. When did so many people suddenly become concerned with my dietary habits? Most mornings, Ezra didn’t rise before ten or eleven. It wasn’t usually a hardship to simply wait to eat until lunch. And this morning, Ezra had been far too unsettled to even consider eating. He thought it best just for forgo the whole thing.

"Ya need to make up for it then."

"Chris, please, it isn’t—" Ezra stopped. The look on Chris’ face told him he wasn’t going to win this argument. Might as well give in gracefully. Perhaps if I play with it long enough it will look like I’ve eaten something. Lord, but I could use a stiff drink. "Very well. I’ll be with Vin."

Chris smiled. "Good."

Ezra shook his head, and stepped past Chris. He’d feel better once he saw Vin. Hopefully, his lover was behaving normally. Ezra wasn’t sure he could handle another uncharacteristic conversation.

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