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Learning to Improvise…
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Vin waited for the door to close, and lock to click in place, before wrapping his arms around Ezra in a warm hug. He was relieved that the two of them were finally alone.He felt Ezra snuggle in close, tucking his head under Vin’s chin. The last few minutes had scared Vin more than he wanted to admit. He’d been terrified that Ezra might actually use his little pop gun. Although, his fear centered more around the fact that Chris might retaliate by shooting Ezra, than that Ezra might kill Josiah.
"You okay?" Vin asked. Know he’s already answered that question, but I still want to make sure.
Ezra sighed, and rubbed his face against Vin’s shoulder. "I’m fine."
Vin pulled away, and cupped Ezra’s face with both hands. His eyes searched Ezra’s. He didn’t like the shadows he could still see those beloved green eyes. Whatever it was that had upset Ezra, had also frightened him badly. His earlier actions were as much a function of fear as anger.
Vin leaned in, and placed a sweet kiss on Ezra’s lips. He didn’t really want to start anything. He was fairly certain that right at the moment neither of them were up for anything more intense. But he wanted to reconnect. It had been four days since they’d been together, and this was the first time he’d gotten to really touch Ezra. Vin didn’t count the brief hand clasp they’d shared when Ezra and Nate had arrived at the canyon, or the ride back to Four Corners.
"Missed you." He murmured against Ezra’s mouth.
"And I you."
Vin sighed. "Couldn’t sleep worth a damn without you."
Ezra smiled tenderly, and ran fingers through Vin’s hair. "I, too, had some difficulty succumbing to Morpheus’ grasp."
Vin didn’t exactly understand that, but figured Ezra had just said he had as much trouble sleeping as Vin had. If he was having bad dreams, it would explain why he reacted so badly when Josiah touched him. In the short time they’d been together, Vin knew the only time Ezra had trouble sleeping was when he had nightmares.
Vin had learned to approach Ezra carefully when he woke him from a bad dream. He wasn’t worried that Ezra would hurt him. Even in the throws of a truly violent dream, Ezra had never lashed out at Vin. Not once. But he did have a tendency to shy away, or scramble for a place he felt secure. Secure to Ezra seemed to involve having his back to the wall, or some place small, like under the bed. Vin had learned to be careful because he didn’t want Ezra to hurt himself. He wanted to be part of what made Ezra feel safe, secure, not part of what made him want to hide.
"Nightmares?" Vin asked quietly.
Ezra closed his eyes, and sighed. He nodded. "Every time I closed my eyes."
"Bad?"
"Very."
Damn. Wish I’d been here to help with those. "They the reason for what happened here?"
Ezra winced. He opened his eyes, made eye contact with Vin, and held it. "To some extent, yes, and no. It is complicated."
Vin nodded, accepting that. He hadn’t expected it to be simple. "Okay."
Ezra swallowed hard. Vin frowned when he saw the return of faint tremors in Ezra’s hands. Ezra shuddered. "I owe you an explanation. My behavior was—"
Vin placed a finger against Ezra’s lips, effectively cutting of the flow of words. "Shhh….Easy now. You don’t owe me anything. All that can wait a bit. Like Chris said, once ya get some rest then we can talk about it. I’m not in any hurry, Ez."
Ezra pulled his hand away, his expression a mixture of regret and sadness. "I’m so sorry, Vin."
"You didn’t do anything you need to apologize for." Josiah’s the one who should be apologizing. Man should have kept his hands ta himself. And he shouldn’t have kept callin’ you ‘son’ knowing full well ya don’t like it. Man ought ta have had more respect for you than that. Knew I shoulda found a way ta put a stop ta that before now.
Ezra shook his head. He waved a hand in an elegant, but meaningless gesture that seemed to encompass the room. "This whole…situation, is my fault. Surely, you realize that Buck, and Josiah, are going to ask about more than just my momentary lapse of reason."
Ezra sighed heavily. "I know Buck is aware there is something between us. I could read that on his face, Vin. He does not yet know the true nature of our relationship, but…I suspect that he will ask before long. And Josiah is going to want to know why Chris left me here with you. And why you agreed. It is just part of his nature to question such things."
Vin raised a hand to Ezra’s face again. He moved his fingers to let the tips ghost over Ezra’s forehead, and then down around his cheekbones in a feather light, soothing caress. He placed a soft kiss on Ezra’s forehead. "Doesn’t matter, Ez. We knew they were bound to ask at some point sooner or later."
Ezra grimaced. "Yes, well, it I would have preferred later to sooner in this instance."
Yeah, me too. But that can’t be helped. "There’s no point in borrowin’ trouble. We’ll worry about what ta say when they ask."
Ezra leaned in and kissed Vin. When he pulled a way there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "That simple?"
Vin shrugged, pleased to see Ezra seemed to be recovering. "Worked the last time. No reason ta think it won’t work twice."
"True."
Vin nodded. "’Sides, it’s not like we’re alone this time."
Ezra smiled slowly, faint creases appearing at the corner of his eyes. "Ah yes, Mr. Larabee. An unexpected ally."
"Yeah." Vin smiled back. "Seems Chris has finally seen the light."
"I’d wager you had something to do with that." Ezra raised an eyebrow in query.
Vin shifted slightly. "Don’t know if I can take credit for that or not. Don’t matter. " Vin thought for a second, searching for a word Ezra had used. Got it. "I’m just glad he’s finally accepted us as a being together…unconditionally."
Ezra smiled warmly. "As am I." The gambler opened his mouth to say something more but yawned widely instead, belatedly raising a hand to cover his mouth.
"That’s enough o’ this." Vin decided. "Rest o’ it can wait till both of us are feeling like we can take on the world again. We’re s’posed to be resting, remember?"
Ezra rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Vin was glad his lover was willing to let it go for now. We both need a chance to breath a bit. Center ourselves. Can deal with all this crap later when we can both think straight.
"Take off yer boots, Ez, and get comfortable." Vin said, his tone light, making sure Ezra knew he wasn’t dictating to him, but inviting.
Ezra slid off his boots and took off his jacket as well, uncharacteristically throwing it toward the chair rather than hanging it up. Vin tapped the shoulder harness Ezra was wearing. "That too."
It was uncomfortable to sleep snuggled up to Ezra when he was still fully armed. There wasn’t much give to leather and steel, and Vin intended for both of them to be comfortable. Ezra slipped out of the harness and hung it from the bedpost where it would be within easy reach. He also removed the derringer rigging and laid it on the table next to where Vin had placed the little gun earlier.
Ezra reached down and plucked Vin’s sawed off Winchester from where it rested on the floor near the head board, and offered it to Vin. The tracker took it with a smile, and placed it on the floor near his side of the bed where he could grab if it were needed in a hurry. Both men liked to keep their weapons near by. It wasn’t safe not to.
Vin lifted the blankets in a silent invitation. Ezra smiled and moved to slide under. Vin settled himself on his back, and Ezra snuggled in close, careful of Vin’s wounded leg. Ezra laid his head on Vin’s shoulder with a quiet sigh, wrapping an arm around Vin’s waist.
"Missed this." He murmured just loud enough for Vin to hear.
Vin smiled. He pulled Ezra in a little closer, enjoying the feel of having his lover next to him for the first time in days. "Me too, Ez. Me too."
He relaxed, listening to Ezra’s breathing slow and deepen. He tightened his grip on Ezra. Right now all that mattered to Vin was the fact that Ezra was right next to him, safe and sound. There would be time enough to work through everything else later.
+ + + + + + +
Buck slid down in his chair, getting comfortable. He eyed Josiah, as he sipped the drink Chris had put in front of him. The big man seemed a bit too quiet, a bit too introspective. Almost like it better when he’s mouthin’ off parables nobody understands. Got enough quiet friends with Chris and Vin. Two o’ them barely talk.
Buck knew that Ezra’s reaction to the ex-preacher had hurt the man deeply. To Josiah, the worst sin a man could commit was to unintentionally cause someone he cared for harm. Buck lightly patted Josiah’s shoulder and squeezed, trying to offer physical reassurance. Buck was pretty sure words wouldn’t be enough to fix this. He decided that it would be a good idea to make sure the big man didn’t have too much to drink. Alcohol tended to have a disastrous affect on everyone around Josiah, particularly when the man lost control.
He looked toward Chris, and tipped his head toward Josiah. Chris shrugged one shoulder. Buck frowned. He’d been hoping for some help, but evidently Chris was just as lost as he was. This was new territory for both of them.
Josiah’s paternal attitude toward the gambler was something they all knew about. Funny thing, only one of us not to accept it was Ezra. Can’t really say I’m surprised that he finally pitched a fit. Was bound ta happen sooner or later if things kept going the way they have.
The ladies man felt a flash of guilt for not stepping in sooner, and keeping what had just happened from happening at all. It could have all been avoided. They all knew Ezra didn’t like being touched or called son. The man had stated his dislike on both issues often enough. But not one of them had stepped in to put a stop to it, or moved to defend Ezra.
No…that ain’t true. Vin’s been runnin’ interference lately. He makes it hard for Josiah ta touch Ez by takin’ the chair next to him whenever he can. Or by simply puttin’ him between ‘em so Josiah can’t get too close to Ez.
Buck shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the thought that as Ezra’s friend, he let him down. He was ashamed to admit that he sometimes enjoyed seeing him squirm. The man always seemed so unruffled, so utterly self-contained that Buck wanted him to be knocked off his stride now and again just to remind him that he was not alone. He wanted the gambler to realize he was one of them, and to Buck that meant you got teased and picked on. To him that was just a sure sign you belonged.
Over the past year, he and Ezra had occasionally engaged in some good-natured rough housing. There were little episodes of pushing, occasional shoving, and more than a few bouts of verbal sparing. Buck had been surprised when he realized that Ezra seemed to enjoy it. He had assumed Ezra was finally beginning to accept his place among them, and Buck delighted in giving as good as he got.
Buck played with his glass a moment, reflecting on the past year. He realized that it was only with him and Vin that Ezra engaged in such behavior. The cardsharp treated JD with odd mixture of tolerance and respect that seemed to preclude such juvenile behavior with him. And Ezra never let his guard down enough with Chris, Nathan or Josiah.
Course, I can’t see him playin’ with Chris. Chris and Ez have a more mutual pact of aggravation going on than anything else. They seem ta enjoy annoyin’ each other. Buck would freely admit that he liked watching the two of them get each other wound up. It was good to see a fire in Chris again, one that didn’t so much consume him, as serve as proof he was still among the living. Ezra seemed to delight in testing the boundaries, and seeing how far he could push. It was obvious to Buck that the gambler was a man who liked to play with fire as often as possible. Chris and Ezra were good for each other in a lot of ways. Might be Chris is beginnin’ ta understand that.
Buck sighed softly. Nate and Ez get along ‘bout as well as oil and water. Guess it’s only natural that they wouldn’t really relax ‘round each other much. Buck often wondered if the two of them would ever be able to really loosen up around each other. They seemed to be doing better lately.
Josiah…’fore today, I wouldn’t have a clue as ta why Ezra gets stiff ‘round him. Didn’t realize how Ez saw it. Understand a whole lot better now. Iffen I had someone constantly ignoring my requests, and doin’ stuff I didn’t like…well, I don’t think I’d a waited half as long as Ez did ta blow up at him. Buck shook his head, knowing full well, he would have shot Josiah if he’d been in Ezra’s shoes. Still, it wouldn’t be a good idea to say as much.
"Well, sir, I would have to say it has been one hell of a day." Buck offered that statement in hopes of easing the tension he could feel settling in around the table. He hadn’t really expected a response but he’d hoped for one. Guess I’ll just have ta push harder.
"Josiah?" When he didn’t get an answer, Buck shoved him. "Josiah?"
"Yes, brother?" Josiah sounded totally subdued.
Like a kicked puppy. Buck shook his head. "Look…you gotta not take this personally. Ez was tired."
I bet if he hadn’t been tired, ol’ Ez never would have lost it. Never saw anyone who could hang on to his temper as well as Ezra can. It’s why he gets the better o’ Chris so often.
Josiah gave him a hard look. "His being tired didn’t make the boy any less honest, Buck. He meant what he said."
"So what if he did?" Buck waited a beat. "All he said was he didn’t want ya ta call him son anymore, or touch him. He’s said that before." A bit more forceful ‘bout it this time, but it ain’t new.
Josiah looked pained. "And I ignored him. Rode roughshod all over him time and again." He shook his head and downed his drink. "You saw him, Buck." Josiah swallowed hard. "That look in his eyes." Josiah shuddered.
Buck remembered the fury, and the calculated intent. There was not doubt in his mind that Ezra had every intention of pulling the trigger if Josiah said or did the wrong thing. He had never expected to see that. Course the man surprises me on a regular basis, so I guess I should be used ta stuff like that. I can’t honestly say I know what Ez is capable of. There is more ta him than meets the eye. And I don’t know him half as well as I ought to.
Buck was pulled out of his thoughts when Josiah spoke again. "I didn’t know he saw it that way. Never even occurred to me that he thought I was belittling him, being disrespectful. I just…" Josiah’s voice trailed off leaving the sentence unfinished.
Buck sighed. He didn’t know what to say to that. Buck shoved his now empty glass toward Chris, mutely requesting a refill. The gunslinger filled it without saying a word.
Vin had surprised Buck by being able to reach Ezra. Buck hadn’t thought any of them were close enough to the cardsharp to get through to him at that moment. There were times when he’d been the only one who could reach Chris when it happened to him, and that had been due simply to their long time association.
Buck knew such things had to be handled carefully, and that anyone touching Ezra or using force would be making a mistake. He had been so relieved that Vin seemed to understand that. It would have taken so little for things to have ended badly.
Vin handled that just right…Talk soft, wait and let him come to you. Makes me wonder if he might not have been in my shoes once or twice. Course all his good moves were ruined when Josiah got too close later.
Buck decided that somehow Ezra’s dream and Josiah’s actions had to be related. There was no other explanation for Ezra’s reaction. Ezra was back with them when he pointed the gun at Josiah the second time. Only way any o’ that makes sense if if Josiah said or did something that was somehow part of Ez’s nightmare. If I had to guess, I’d say that whole episode took him back a ways.
All the waking nightmares Buck had ever encountered were spawned by severe situations. Things like the war, or the way Chris’ family had been killed. Those were the sort of things where dream induced terror followed a man into the real world. Buck found it disturbing that Ezra’s nightmare might have been a product of his childhood. His own childhood had been less than ideal, but had never produced anything that haunted him as an adult.
Buck sighed heavily, and took a sip of his drink. Could just add it to the other weird stuff going on around here lately, and forget about it. But he wasn’t going to do that, and he knew it.
Buck had chosen not to comment when it was Ezra, not Chris who’d rode with Vin in the wagon back to town, even though it didn’t seem right to him at the time. And he had held his tongue when Chris opted to take care of the horses, and let Ezra help Nathan with Vin. It had struck him as odd, but he let it alone, knowing better than to press into things that weren’t his business.
That Vin could reach Ezra in the midst of a waking nightmare was significant to Buck. It was Vin that Ezra apologized to. And it was Vin, Ezra seemed to be seeking reassurances from. There is something going on between the two o’ them. Not sure what but there is definitely something there.
Buck mentally tallied things, successfully resisting the urge to count them off on his fingers. Vin was defending Ezra more, and putting himself between Ezra and Josiah. Vin had reached Ezra when it was unlikely the rest of them would have been able to. Ezra had gotten Vin to drink the laudanum, and had intervened on Vin’s behalf when Nathan insisted he should be in the clinic. Ezra didn’t shake of Vin’s touch like he did everyone else’s.
Buck nodded to himself. Definitely something going on there. And it’s been going on a while. And Chris knows what. Would bet my last dollar on that.
He looked toward Chris. The gunslinger had made a point of Ezra staying with Vin. Buck had backed him up on that. When Chris had looked at him, and silently asked him to follow his lead, Buck had agreed. He’d followed Chris unquestioningly before, and would do so again. He had trusted the man for years, he wasn’t about to quit now.
He knew his friend would explain it to him when the time was right. The important thing right now was to get Josiah out of his funk, and fix what he’d failed to keep from getting broken. He didn’t really have a clue just how to do that, but not knowing how hadn’t stopped him in the past, and it wouldn’t this time either. He didn’t have so many friends he could afford to lose any, and Buck was certain that if he didn’t fix this, he would lose more than one.
"Josiah, thinkin’ too much on this is jus’ gonna drive ya nuts." Buck commented softly. "Just let it go."
Josiah glared at him, downing the shot that sat in front of him. "You think I should just forget this?" Blue eyes narrowed in anger. "Forget that he pointed a gun at me? Forget that I was so careless of a friend as to cause him pain? That I was so damn blind the man had to all but shoot me to get my attention?" Josiah growled.
"No. I think you should learn from it." Buck decided the best tactic was to be forceful in direct. Backing down now wouldn’t work. Preacher is hard headed.
"Yer always spoutin’ advice ta the rest o’ us. Tellin’ us ta learn from our mistakes so we don’t keep makin’ the same ones. Maybe ya need ta follow some o’ yer own advice." Buck nodded when he saw his remark hit home.
Josiah pursed his lips. His eyes raked Buck from head to toe. "And just what do you think the lesson is here?"
Buck raised his eyebrows. "Woulda thought that was obvious." He snorted in derision, somewhat convinced Josiah was being deliberately dense. "Ya need ta pay more attention ta what Ez says. Listen for a change. And stop thinking jus’ about yerself. This ain’t about you, Preacher. And it never was."
Josiah’s hand on the table curled into a fist. Buck wrapped a hand around his wrist and pinned his fist to the table. He made eye contact and held it. "This. Ain’t. About. You." Buck snarled quietly. "It was thinking only about you, and what you wanted, that got you into this in the first place."
Josiah flushed, and looked away. Buck let go of his arm. He sat back in his chair satisfied that he’d gotten through to the man.
Josiah sent a hard look toward Chris. "You know something about all this?"
Chris shrugged. "All of it, no. Some of it, yeah."
"You planning on telling us?"
Chris pursed his lips, and then shook his head. "Story ain’t mine ta tell."
Buck could understand that. Chris had a lot of respect for a man’s right to privacy. Each man’s past was his own. It was up to Ezra to tell it. Chris had already agreed to let Ezra tell as much as he felt they needed to know. Got a feelin’ part of this story might just involve Vin.
Josiah gave Chris a dirty look. "I don’t like being kept in the dark."
"Don’t know anyone who does." Chris raised an eyebrow, not the least bit intimidated by the bigger man’s dark expression. "You don’t have to like it. You just have to live with it. The man needs some time. I said he could have it."
Chris shook his head. He smiled tightly. There was just the faintest edge to it, reminding Buck of a wolf baring its fangs. "I won’t go back on my word. And I won’t betray the trust I was given."
"Chris, I’m not asking you t—"
"Good." Chris said firmly, cutting Josiah off, effectively ending the conversation.
Buck hid his grin behind his glass. Trust Chris not ta give an inch. Josiah ought to know better by now. He relaxed when Josiah nodded slowly, accepting what Chris had said, resigned to the fact that he would simply have to wait.
Was a battle he weren’t gonna win. Took him longer than I thought it would ta see that. Buck settled himself more comfortably in his chair. He was content with the idea of waiting. He’d waited nearly three years for Chris to come back to the land of the living. Hell a day or two ain’t nothing. Momma always said good things come ta those who wait.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra woke from a sound sleep. He lay still, breathing carefully controlled so as not to give away the fact that he was now aware of his surroundings. Ezra listened closely, eyes barely open, scanning the dim room, trying to ascertain what had roused him. When he heard a soft knock on the door, and a faint voice calling Vin’s name, habit ingrained over a lifetime had him rolling out of bed, reaching for his gun hanging from the bedpost, and rising silently to his feet.
His movement invoked a similar reaction from Vin. Except that the tracker slid off the far side of the bed, reaching for the gun he’d placed near by. Both of them pointed their guns at the door, ready to attack or defend, depending on whatever the situation required.
Another knock. "Vin? Ezra? It’s Nate."
Ezra blinked. It took him a moment to mentally switch gears. He swayed slightly, and reached out to brace himself with one hand against the wall. Nathan?….Oh, right, Nathan.
"A moment if you please, Mr. Jackson."
Ezra regained his balance, and quickly moved to slip on his boots. He snagged his holster from the bedpost and shrugged into it quickly. He swept up his jacket and hung it on the chair. Should have put it there earlier, but I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Still don’t feel like being out of bed, but it can’t be helped. He glanced at Vin, who had relaxed against the bed when he realized it was a friend at the door.
"Can you get back in bed?" Ezra whispered. He hadn’t meant to galvanize Vin to action when he’d moved so quickly, but knew his lover had survival traits just as ingrained as his own. He appreciated the fact that such instincts had kept Vin alive for a long time, and wouldn’t fault him for acting on them just as Ezra had acted on his own.
Vin chuckled quietly, and whispered his reply. "Reckon. Got myself out okay."
"Good. I would hate for Mr. Jackson to think I allowed you to fall out of bed." Ezra winked, and gave him a cocky grin as he moved toward the door. He might still feel a bit like death warmed over, but there was no reason for Vin to know that.
Ezra ran fingers through his hair restoring it to some order. He took a deep breath and focused, trying to appear calm and unruffled. Ezra glanced around the room, checking to see that everything was more or less in order. He waited until Vin was once again in bed, lounging comfortably against the headboard before unlocking and opening the door.
"Mr. Jackson." Ezra nodded to the healer, and waved a hand politely ushering him in. Less than two minutes had elapsed since Ezra had first awoken. Not bad, Ezra. Not bad at all.
"Ez." Nathan was balancing a small tray of food. "Chris told me ya were keepin’ an eye on Vin." That statement came across as more of a question. Nathan looked a bit puzzled as to why it was Ezra who’d stayed.
Ezra was grateful that at least Nathan and JD had been absent during his earlier lapse of reason, and corresponding display of temper. Two less people he had embarrassed himself in front of, and owed explanations to. It was small consolation, but at the moment he’d take it. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face the others just yet. Mr. Larabee said he’d give me some time. I have a feeling I’ll need every minute of it. I have to figure out how to talk to Vin first before I can even consider talking to the others.
Ezra smiled slightly at Nathan, ignoring the implied question. He didn’t feel like answering it. "I see you have brought Mr. Tanner some sustenance."
Nathan nodded. "Yeah, I brought him dinner. He doin’ all right?"
"You could just ask me, ya know." Vin called from the bed, just a touch of annoyance in his voice. "What did ya bring me to eat?"
Nathan set the tray down on the dresser. "Had Inez put together some soup for you. And some biscuits."
Vin frowned. "Would rather have a good steak, potatoes. Maybe some gravy too."
Nathan shook his head. "Don’t need anything heavy just yet."
"I ain’t sick, Nate." Vin protested. "I told ya…it’s just a scratch."
Nathan gave him a stern look. "It is not just a scratch. If ya still feel up to it, you can have yer usual breakfast tomorrow. But tonight yer eatin’ what I tell ya to."
Vin scowled. When someone was injured it was rare that Nathan didn’t get his way. It was usually an act of futility to argue with him. It was only Chris’ intervention that had kept Vin from ending up in the clinic. Ezra made a mental note to thank Chris later for arranging things as well as he had.
Ezra decided he’d have to leave at some point, and see if there was still some of the pie he’d had at lunch left. Vin liked it almost as well as Ezra did. I’m sure he would enjoy a piece of that cherry. It was delicious. And would certainly go a long way toward make up for such a lackluster repast as what Mr. Jackson has seen fit to provide.
Nathan moved toward the bed. He gently placed the back of his hand against Vin’s forehead. "Bit of a fever." The healer commented. It was not unexpected, and Nathan didn’t sound overly worried. Most wounds, even when completely clean, tended to generate a slight fever. It should disappear in a day or so.
"You hurtin’?"
"Nah." Vin shrugged. "Jus’ a bit tired is all."
Nathan nodded, clearly expecting that answer. Vin never admitted to being in pain. Tired, yes. Pain, no. "Blood loss makes a body tired. Need ta check that leg." He carefully rolled the blankets back.
"Perhaps a bit more light would be of assistance." Ezra offered. The low light in the room let him know the sun had gone down not too long ago. He turned up the lamp, brightening the room considerably. He pulled out his watch, curious as to the time. Hmmm…we were only asleep for two hours. He felt more rested after that brief time than he had in the last four days. Amazing how good a few short hours of dreamless sleep can make one feel. Although, I wouldn’t say no to a bit more. Like maybe a week or so.
Nathan took a moment to check Vin’s eyes, before looking at his leg. Ezra was always surprised by how much one could tell from the eyes. He remembered seeing many a wounded or sick man, knowing something was wrong just from the look in their eyes. A sick man’s eyes tended to be clouded with pain, dull and glassy. Ezra shuddered to think what his own eyes might reveal about his state of health at the moment. A good thing no one is looking as closely at me.
Vin’s blue eyes were bright and clear. Nathan nodded in satisfaction at what he saw. "Looks like rest did ya some good."
Vin nodded. He sent a quick glance toward Ezra, and winked. Remembering what Vin had said earlier, Ezra knew his lover felt the same way he did about being able to sleep deeply even for so short a time. It was likely the most refreshing bit of rest either of them had gotten in several days.
Nathan examined Vin’s leg with tender care. "Gonna have to change that bandage tomorrow."
Vin nodded. "Figured as much."
Nathan pulled the covers back up. "Ezra, would you bring that tray over?"
"Certainly, Mr. Jackson." Ezra picked up the tray, careful not spill anything. The bowl of soup was covered, keeping it warm. The biscuits were in a basket wrapped in a small towel. Ezra eyed the little teapot that was also on the tray. He recognized it as the one Nathan usually traveled with. More of those noxious concoctions, no doubt. Still, it will likely ensure Vin recovers quickly so I suppose that is a good thing.
Ezra offered the tray to Nathan, not at all surprised when he picked up the small teapot, and poured a cup. Ezra, balanced the tray in one hand, and picked up his derringer and spring loaded rigging with the other. He then put the tray down on the bedside table.
In his earlier haste, he’d forgotten that he’d left it there. With a swift efficiency, he set about buckling the rigging to his right forearm. Thank God, Mr. Jackson didn’t notice I had removed it. I’m sure I could have found a reasonable excuse to give him, but it is easier not to simply avoid having to obfuscate at all.
Nathan offered the cup of tea he’d poured to Vin. Vin grimaced in distaste. "You sure I gotta drink this stuff?"
"I’m sure." Nathan said firmly.
Vin opened his mouth to protest again, but Ezra looked up from where he was securing the derringer to its rightful place, and stopped him with a hard look. "Drink it, Vin. Please." He added the please, remembering how little he enjoyed being ordered about. Knowing Vin didn’t appreciate it either. The thing he hated most about being injured was suddenly you were at the mercy of every one who thought they knew what was best for you. Never mind that I’ve been looking out for myself almost since I could walk.
Vin sighed, and drank the whole cup in one gulp. "God…that’s awful, Nate."
Nathan nodded. "I know. Ya told me that before."
"And ya still ain’t done a thing to fix it." Vin shot back at him.
Ezra occasionally pondered the possibility that Nathan didn’t try to improve the taste because he wanted to punish them for getting hurt in the first place. Ezra shook his head, and smiled slightly at the thought. As if aversion to the cure would make it more likely one could avoid the disease. Vin must have seem him smile and looked questioningly at him. Ezra made a ‘later’ motion with his hand.
Nathan uncovered the bowl of soup, and offered it to Vin, along with a biscuit that Vin crumbled into the bowl. Ezra hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch, and his stomach took that moment to remind him of that fact by growling loudly. Nathan looked at him.
"You get anything to eat yet, Ez?"
"Not yet, Mr. Jackson." Ezra answered honestly. There was no point in lying. His stomach had already betrayed him. "I have been otherwise occupied."
Nathan’s eyes narrowed as he studied Ezra. "Ya didn’t eat much for lunch."
I do not need him fussing over me. Allowing it will only serve to annoy me, and will certainly worry Vin unnecessarily if he thinks something is wrong. Something more than what we’ve already got to attend to. Nathan’s time is better spent focusing on Vin. He was the one injured, and in need of care. I am simply a victim of my own foolishness.
Ezra artfully heaved an exasperated sigh, more for show than anything else. "The fact that I do not consume the same gluttonous amounts as Mr. Wilmington is well known, Mr. Jackson. Not everyone is up to such a Herculean task, or feels the need to engage in eating as though it were one’s last meal."
"Still wouldn’t hurt you to get a good meal. You look a bit peeked."
Ezra rolled his eyes. "Peeked? Nonsense." He shrugged one shoulder. "However, I must agree that a good meal would not be unwelcome." He waved a hand toward Vin. "However, it would not do to simply leave Mr. Tanner in his hour of need."
Nathan pursed his lips. "One o’ the others could have stayed."
Think Ezra! A reason must be given. One that makes sense would be good. He nodded his head thoughtfully as though conceding Nathan’s point. "I’m sure Mr. Larabee and Mr. Wilmington were in need of some rest. Spending days sleeping on the ground is hardly conducive to a good night’s slumber." Ezra grimaced at the thought of sleeping on the ground. "And Mr. Sanchez had only just ridden into town. He undoubtedly wanted some time to recoup his energies."
Nathan frowned. "They ain’t worked any harder than you have, Ezra. Doubt they were any more tired than you are."
Ezra raised an eyebrow at the healer’s statement. His lips quirked into a cynical smile, green eyes mocking. "Oh, come now, Mr. Jackson, you have often accused me of being shiftless, lazy, and I believe, good for nothing. It is highly unlikely that such a person would pull his own weight, much less exceed the minimal requirements."
"Well, I was wrong." Nathan said gruffly, no longer looking at Ezra. "You aren’t lazy or good for nothing."
Ezra looked toward Vin in confusion, his brow furled. "Mr. Tanner, you might want to check Mr. Jackson for a fever of his own."
Vin smirked, and reached out to place his hand against Nathan’s forehead. "Seems okay to me, Ez."
Nathan batted Vin’s hand away. If the healer had a fairer complexion, Ezra would have sworn the man was blushing. Ezra successfully contained the grin that threatened to burst free when Nathan noisily cleared his throat and shifted his weight nervously. It would be ungentlemanly to openly display amusement at another’s discomfort, no matter how much he wanted to.
"If you want to get dinner, Ezra, you might as well go." Nathan said, his gaze on the floor, clearly still a bit embarrassed. "I’ll stay with Vin. Chris will probably be by soon enough."
Ezra sighed silently, uncertain of what to say. If he left, there would be no coming back until someone relieved Nathan. The healer was bound to ask questions if he was present when Ezra returned. If Chris did put in an appearance, which Ezra rather doubted, the man was going to expect answers. Answers that Ezra wasn’t ready to give him yet, and the gambler wasn’t certain if he would be allowed to ask for more time. If he tried to stay, he’d raise even more questions with Nathan.
Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. God, but I hate situations like this. Ezra realized that he might have to plan on sleeping the rest of the night alone. It wasn’t what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure he could find a logical argument that would work with Nathan. Ezra mentally slapped the little voice that suggested telling Nathan the truth. He already had more on his plate than he was ready to handle, there was no way he was willing to take on more at the moment.
"I don’t need a baby sitter, Nate." Vin stated firmly. Ezra knew that his lover had been thinking the same things he had. Neither of them really wanted to spend the night alone. The past two hours weren’t enough to make up for their time apart.
He made eye contact and tried to silently tell Vin to just let it go. Spending one more night alone wouldn’t kill me. Vin shook his head slightly, clearly telling Ezra he wasn’t going to give in.
Ezra’s throat felt tight. He knew Vin loved him. Vin had said so more than once, and the tracker didn’t lie. But there was something decidedly reassuring about having his lover fight to make it possible for him to stay. One of the first hard lessons Ezra had learned in his life, was that few people would ever go to bat for him. Where he was concerned, people tended to take the easy road, the path of least resistance. They didn’t seem to think he was worth the bother.
Ezra smiled warmly at Vin, love shining in his eyes. I really must remember that Vin is not most people. He is most definitely unique. A treasure of incalculable worth.
Vin’s lips curled into a small half smile before he turned his attention back to Nathan. "I keep tellin’ you, Nate, I’m not sick. Ain’t like I haven’t been shot before, ya know. I been takin’ care o’ myself for years."
"You need to stay off that leg, and rest." Nathan held up a hand. His tone was soft but firm. "I know you, Vin. You’ll be tryin’ ta sneak out o’ here the first chance ya get. Won’t do that leg any good if ya do."
Vin scowled. "I don’t plan on leavin’."
"Then havin’ someone stay and keep an eye on you shouldn’t be a problem, should it?"
Vin’s jaw tightened, and his eyes narrowed. Ezra had no difficulty reading the anger and determination there. Ezra idly wondered if Nathan thought aggravating his patients was good for them. He certainly seems to do it a lot where Vin is concerned. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts that weren’t going to help the situation any. He needed to come up with something before this got out of hand.
A knock at the door halted further argument. Ezra was grateful for the reprieve. He opened the door, careful to stand slightly behind the door so that his body was shielded. Someone with deadly intent was unlikely to knock, rather than merely break in, but Ezra knew one could never be too careful.
Standing outside the door was a breathless Josh Potter, face red from exertion. The boy was panting, his expression a mixture of excitement and fear. Ezra opened the door wider.
"Mr. Potter, whatever is the matter?"
Josh took a breath. "Momma sent me ta get Mr. Nathan. Said ta get him right away. Already tried the clinic, jail and the saloon. Mr. Larabee said was here."
"He is." Ezra ushered the boy in. "What’s wrong, Joshua?"
"Mr. Cavanaugh came inta town in a hurry. Said something was wrong with the missus. Said she was bleedin’."
Oh damn. Damn. Damn. Please, don’t let her loose this baby. I’m not sure she could handle another loss. "Nathan." Ezra looked toward the healer, unable to keep some of his concern leaking into his voice.
Nathan was already up and moving. "Where is he? Did he bring Mrs. Cavanaugh with him?"
Josh shook his head vigorously. "No, sir. Said he was afraid ta bring her. Didn’t want ta leave her alone either, but he didn’t think the ride ta town would be something she could handle."
"Josh, I need you to run to the livery. Tell Yosemite to saddle my horse." The boy was out the door almost before Nathan finished speaking. The healer looked at Vin, a brief flash of indecision settled on his features when he did.
Ezra waved a hand toward the door in a shooing motion. "Go. Go. I’ll keep an eye on him. You are needed more urgently elsewhere."
Nathan nodded, and headed toward the door with a swift purposeful stride. He glanced over his shoulder. "Chris should be along soon ta relieve ya. Make sure Vin behaves himself. And don’t let him leave that bed."
Ezra nodded, and casually saluted the healer. "Godspeed, and good luck, Mr. Jackson."
"Thanks." Nathan smiled grimly. "Might just need it." With that he was out the door, closing it softly behind him.
Ezra sat down in the chair Nathan had recently vacated. He rubbed one hand over his face. He had wanted Nathan to leave so that he could be alone with Vin, but this wasn’t quite what he had in mind. Not by a long shot. I would never wish an innocent ill simply to indulge my own wishes.
He rubbed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Have you ever noticed…it can’t seem to rain without pouring?"
Vin reached out and patted Ezra’s leg, squeezing lightly. "Yeah…Noticed that. Kind o’ seems ta be the way o’ things."
Ezra dropped his hand, and put it hand over Vin’s. He curled his fingers around Vin’s hand, holding it loosely, finding comfort in that simple gesture. "Do you think…." Ezra sighed, suddenly afraid to voice his thought out loud.
"Think what?" Vin’s question was whisper soft.
"That…the baby will make it?"
Vin tightened his hold on Ezra’s hand. "Don’t know. Hope so. Nate will do the best he can. Can’t ask more than that."
Ezra nodded. "It does not seem fair." He sighed heavily. "But then life is seldom fair." There was no point in dwelling on this. There was nothing he could do other than pray, and Ezra seriously doubted God would be inclined to listen to him. Despite the belief that God has long since given him up as lost, Ezra still sent a brief fervent prayer heavenward, asking for Mrs. Cavanaugh to be granted a reprieve and a healthy baby.
"Why don’t you finish your dinner? There is no point in letting it get cold." Ezra suggested gently, striving to return things to normal. Although, I’m not sure exactly what would constitute normal for us. Perhaps some day when things are quiet, I shall endeavor to sit down and give that due consideration.
"What ‘bout you?"
"Me?" The question had surprised Ezra.
"You ain’t eaten yet." Vin reminded him. He studied Ezra closely, eyes narrowed in stark appraisal. "Know yer hungry, Ez. Don’t look like you been eatin’ too good lately." He offered the half full bowl of soup to Ezra. "I’ll share with ya."
"Nathan will have a fit if you don’t eat all that." Ezra was sorely tempted by Vin’s offer. It was the first time since Vin had left that he actually felt like eating. He mentally slapped himself hard for even considering eating nourishment Vin needed far more than he did. Honestly, Ezra, it’s not as if you haven’t been hungry before. And this time it is your own damn fault.
Vin grinned at him, not at all intimidated by Ezra’s use of Nathan as a threat. "What he don’t know won’t hurt me. An’ this way you don’t have ta leave."
"Ah." Ezra smiled slightly, readily understanding Vin’s reasoning. But he still didn’t take the bowl. "You need that far more than I do."
He held up a hand, stopping what Vin was about to say. There was no way he would short his friend and lover. "It will not hurt me to see to getting dinner for myself. Particularly not when it can be easily acquired with no more effort than a short walk." He raised an eyebrow. "And while I’m there, perhaps a bit of pie, for both of us, might be retrieved to serve as dessert."
Vin’s eyes lit up. "Pie?"
"Yes." Ezra grinned. "It seems there was a surplus of cherries and blueberries available."
Vin licked his lips. "Like cherry pie. Not as much as peach cobbler, but I wouldn’t say no to a piece."
"I didn’t think you would." Ezra never would have offered otherwise. He stood. "Finish your soup. I’ll bring us back some pie. All right?"
"Okay." Vin gave him a hard look. "You ain’t back here in an hour, I’m comin’ ta get ya."
Ezra grinned, dimples making an appearance, gold pre-molar flashing briefly. "I fully intend to return before the allotted time has expired. Have no fear."
"Better be planning on stayin’ the night too." Vin growled, the playful look in his eyes ruining the effect of his voice.
Ezra’s expression shifted into a something lascivious, and he winked. "Well, now, Mr. Jackson did tell me to keep an eye on you. I would be remise in my duties if I did not follow through with his orders to make sure you didn’t leave that bed." Ezra’s voice deepened, and his tone got husky. "I think you will find, Mr. Tanner, my way of ensuring your obedience is far more pleasant than Mr. Jackson’s."
Vin ducked his head, a faint blush dusting his cheekbones. He looked up from under his eyelashes, teasing just a bit. "And jus’ how much better is it, Ez?"
Ezra bent down and kissed Vin, wanting to taste the smile he could see lurking on the edges of Vin’s mouth. He leisurely explored of that beloved wet grotto, taking his time to get reacquainted with the shape, feel and taste of Vin. Ezra felt like he could spend days remapping that well know, much loved territory. God, but I have missed this. He pulled away slowly. Vin looked just a bit dazed, eyes glazed, and face flushed.
Ezra raised a hand to caress softly caress Vin’s cheek. "Just to hold us over until I return."
Vin swallowed. "Don’t take…too long."
"I won’t." With that Ezra headed out the door determined to be back in record time. He didn’t really want to leave at all, but he knew once Vin got over being distracted he’d be after Ezra about eating something. It made Ezra feel warm all over that Vin took an active interest in his well-being. He smiled softly to himself, and hurried to the restaurant intent on grabbing a quick bite, their pie, and returning. There was enough lost time to be made up for without adding to it.
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