The Heart Finds a Home

by Stan Lee

ATF Universe

Sequel to Where the Heart Is

Webmaster Note: This story was rescued from a "data dump" of the defunct DrinkinNFightin list. It is possible that it is not the finalized version that was originally archived at the list's website, dnf.slashcity.org, which was successfully 'wiped' from the internet.

Chris looked at the clock on Buck's bedside table and groaned. He nudged Buck, who was beginning to doze off, but who snapped awake when he felt an elbow connecting with his ribs.

"You can't sleep now, we gotta go back to the office," Chris yawned, wanting nothing more than to cuddle into Buck's arms and catch forty winks.

"Just five more minutes, love," Buck cajoled, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling him in tight. He started to drift again but opened his eyes when he felt Chris pull away from him.

"Come on, we're already late," Chris groused. He started to pull his clothes on, hoping the other members of the team wouldn't be able to smell Buck all over him. He smiled wondering how he's explain that one. The two of them were supposed to be at the courthouse signing off on a file of paperwork to close out their last case. The court official had offered to send the documents to Chris via courier, but the Team Seven leader had spotted a chance to get Buck alone for a while and told the helpful woman that he and Buck would take a drive out at lunch time.=20=20

Buck had complained about it at first, not immediately catching on to Chris' plan. But eventually the penny dropped and he had eagerly left the office with his partner. They had gotten their business out of the way as quickly as possible, then detoured to Buck's townhouse where they had just spent the past half hour in a frantic but immensely satisfying fuck.

Chris turned and saw that although Buck had rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand, he had made no move to get dressed.=20 Realizing that drastic action was called for he leaned across the bed and pulled Buck towards him, knowing that there were few surer ways to get the man's attention. He glued his mouth to Buck's and began to kiss him passionately. Buck moaned and squirmed closer to his lover.  But his moan turned into a yelp when he felt a stinging slap land across his backside.

"Bastard!" Buck yelled.

"Hey, I warned you. Now, move yer lazy ass outta that bed or you'll be sorry," Chris ordered.

Buck rubbed his backside. "What's the hurry?" he grumbled, although he rolled out of bed as ordered and began to dress.

"Judge Travis is coming by at 2:30 to discuss out next assignment," Chris replied. "You wanna be the one to explain why we're late?"

He stood up and started for the door but Buck made a grab for him and tumbled him back onto the bed.

"I'll just tell him I was fucking the best piece of ass in the ATF," Buck breathed. "I'm sure he'll understand." He rolled on top of Chris and kissed him deeply.

Chris softened in his arms for a minute and began to return the kiss.  But suddenly he squirmed out from underneath Buck and climbed, a little unsteadily, to his feet. "Don't start up again, Buck," he warned, his breath already beginning to shorten into gasps.

Buck reached a hand down to rub against the man's growing erection.

"Looks like it's too late, pard," he smiled.

Chris sidestepped and took himself out of touching range.

"Wilmington, get yer ass in gear, double-time. That's an order," he growled.

Buck mocked him with an exaggerated shiver. "Oooh. I love it when you wanna dominate me," he purred.

Chris just quirked an eyebrow. "Make me late for this meeting and I'll gladly show you what happens to people who can't follow orders," he warned.

Buck stood up, by now fully dressed. He bent his head to murmur against Chris' ear, "You can put me over your knee any time you want to, darlin', you don't need no excuses." Then he breezed out of the door, throwing back over his shoulder, "what's keepin' ya, Larabee.=20 Let's roll."

Chris shook his head and followed, muttering under his breath all the way to the truck.

The two men made it back to the office with ten minutes to spare before their meeting. Chris used the time to read through a file Judge Travis had sent over while he and Buck had been out. Buck used the time to torment JD, tease Vin and irritate Ezra.

When Judge Travis arrived they were all called into Chris' office.=20 They took a minute to settle themselves and waited while Chris rifled through a file, pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Buck.

"Fill it out. Have it on my desk by 5 o'clock," he said.

Buck glanced down at the form. "I'm being seconded?" he asked.

"Just a partial re-assignment," Judge Travis put in. "I need you to work undercover with one of our Florida agents, Robert Jackson.=20 You'll be reporting to Peter Price while the case is in play, but Team Seven will be handling back-up so you'll have to check in with Chris as well.

"Why me? Ezra is the better undercover man," Buck asked.

The judge turned to Ezra. "I believe this case involves an old nemesis of yours. Enrique Fuentes?"

Ezra scowled, "I thought that miscreant was cooling his heels in a federal penitentiary in Washington State," he said.

"Up until four weeks ago he was," Judge Travis replied. "He was released on a technicality. His lawyers protested a legal point and they declared a mistrial. Mr. Fuentes walked."

"You think he has something to do with this case?" Ezra asked.

"I'm sure he's the spider at the center of a very intricate web," the Judge explained. "If we get in, we'll eventually come face to face with Mr. Fuentes."

Ezra shrugged and looked towards his Team Leader. "He'll make me, Chris. Our paths crossed a year or two ago. I seem to remember he wasn't particularly fond of me by the time we parted=85"

"In fact, he threatened to kill you if he ever set eyes on you again," the Judge clarified. "I can't send Ezra in, he's a known entity. Rob Jackson has been working on the outskirts of this case for three months. We think we've just got a rather big break. Fuentes is coming to Denver next week and Jackson is supposed to be introducing him to an arms dealer. That'll be you Buck.

Buck glanced at Chris for confirmation, then nodded. "Okay. I'm in."

The Judge stood up. "Good man. Chris has all the information. I'll leave you to work it all out."

When the Judge left, Chris handed each of his men a file folder and told them to familiarize themselves with all the details of the case.  They stood to leave.=20=20

"Buck, stay a minute," Chris asked. The others filed out, closing the door behind them.

"You okay with this, Stud?" Chris asked, knowing undercover work was not a favorite with his friend.

"I'll be fine, Chris. Don't go worrying about me."

"We'll figger out a check-in schedule," Chris said. "I want to hear from you whenever it's safe to contact me. Don't take any unnecessary chances. Don't=85" he trailed off when Buck began to chuckle. "What?" he asked.

"I've done this a time or two before, pard," Buck replied dryly.

Chris grinned a little sheepishly. "Now you know how JD feels when you nag him 'bout things he's been doing all by himself for years."

"That's totally different," Buck protested. "He needs looking after=85"

"Yeah. Well so do you," Chris cut in. "We're a team." He cupped Buck's face briefly. "Remember that, love," he said softly, stroking a finger down Buck's cheek. Then he turned back to his desk, all business. "Now. Let's find out who this Robert Jackson is. I ain't putting you in anybody's hands 'till I know you'll be safe."

Five days later Chris was seated at his desk, trying to get through some paperwork but distracted by thoughts of Buck Wilmington. He was worried about this Enrique Fuentes character. Ezra had taken Chris aside after Judge Travis had left and told him that the man was psychotic, dangerous and had a particular aversion to the ATF. He was worried that Buck was doing this job at all given that he hated undercover work. He was worried about Buck going up against Fuentes without one of his own team as a partner. What the hell did any of them know about this Rob Jackson anyway? Aw hell!. Chris threw his pen down in disgust.

"Bullshit," he said aloud. "100% fucking bullshit, Larabee."

Because it wasn't any of those things that were really bothering him.  Yes, it was dangerous, but Buck could handle himself in most any situation - it's what made him one of the best agents in the field.=20 Yes, Chris knew Buck didn't like the undercover aspect of the job - but he was damned good at it all the same. Yes, Chris was unhappy that Buck was partnered with a stranger instead of one of his own team members. And that was the real reason Chris was so bent out of shape right now, wasn't it? Rob Jackson.

Three days ago Chris and Buck had arranged to meet Buck's temporary new partner. It was too dangerous to have him come to the ATF building so they had agreed to meet off-site at a small coffee shop fairly close by. As soon as Chris saw Jackson a warning bell went off in his head. He was tall, fair-haired, blue-eyed, tanned and fit.=20 Larabee had to admit that Jackson was an extremely handsome man. When he was introduced to Buck Chris distinctly saw a look of interest flare in Jackson's eyes. If Buck recognized the look he gave no indication of it, just shook the man's hand and got down to business.

Their conversation was brief, but long enough for Chris to read Jackson's body language and to realize that he was very obviously attracted to Buck Wilmington. His friendly, casual manner, his dry sense of humor, maybe even his physical attributes combined to disarm Buck and soon the two men were trading stories and laughs like long-lost friends. When they parted Chris thought that Jackson held Buck's handshake a little longer than was strictly necessary and the way he told Buck he was looking forward to working with him set Chris' teeth on edge.

As they were returning to the office Buck said, "Seemed like a decent guy. This job might not be so boring after all."

The words knifed into Chris' gut, but he nodded agreement, although he was unable to stop himself adding, "Watch yourself with him, Buck.=20 Can't trust him the way you could one of our own team."

Buck gave him an odd, unreadable, look and shrugged. "I'll be fine, boss. Don't worry 'bout me."

Since then Chris had scarcely seen or talked to Buck, although he'd heard plenty about Rob Jackson from JD. Apparently he and Buck had become firm friends and were spending days working together and nights out drinking with each other. JD figured it was just part of the undercover operation, but Chris was irritated that the two seemed - well, he had been about to say 'joined at the hip', and that pushed the irritation level up another notch.

Buck was due to come by the office that morning for ten minutes, on his way to a meeting with Fuentes. He didn't really have the time to stop by, but Chris had insisted. Chris heard the two men arriving, greeting the rest of the team boisterously, Jackson obviously very at ease in his friend's company. He glanced through his open office door and saw the two men standing closely together, betraying a high comfort level with each other, and it set his blood on a slow boil.=20=20

Buck detached himself from the other man and came into Chris' office, closing the door. Chris' irritation spilled over when he saw how happy and relaxed Buck looked, a grin splitting his face from ear to ear. Buck came around the desk and bent to kiss Chris, a hurt look flashing across his face when Chris turned his head and picked up a report Buck had asked JD to submit a day earlier.

"This is fucking useless, Buck," he snapped. "You've been doing these goddamned things long enough to know what I need to see."

Buck straightened and sighed. Something was bothering Chris. "I don't exactly have a lot of time for reports=85" he began.

"You seem to have plenty of time to stay out to two in the morning drinking with your new partner," Chris interrupted.

Buck looked surprised. "That was part of the operation, Chris," he protested mildly.

Chris waved him off. "If I hear either of you were drunk on the job=85"

Buck flinched in surprise. "Where the hell is that coming from?" he asked, stung by his friend's accusation. "You've never had cause to complain 'bout the way I work. When have I ever let the team down?"

Chris stood so he was face-to-face with his friend.

"Just remember this is a job, not a social visit," Chris snapped.=20 "And I want a full report on my desk by tomorrow morning. Not more of this bullshit," he waved the report in Buck's face.

Just then there was a knock at the door and Rob Jackson popped his head in.

"C'mon Buck. We gotta get going," he said. "Oh, hi Chris."

Chris was barely able to nod to the other man.

"Yeah, Rob. Give me another minute," Buck replied, his eyes glued on Chris' face.

Jackson shrugged and backed out.

"That it, Chris?" Buck asked gently. He longed to lean over and kiss the man. He had missed Chris so much in the past days. But Chris didn't seem at all approachable right now. Whatever was eating at him had made him angry and resentful, and Buck knew better than to put himself in front of that.

"Yeah, that's it. Just get your report done," He turned his back.

"Okay, boss," Buck said. "See you soon?" He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should try again for a kiss. But Chris' back was hunched and tense, he certainly didn't look receptive to any intimacy.  So Buck just sighed softly and shrugged. If the man had something on his mind and didn't want to share it, there was nothing Buck could do about it. He left the office quietly and re-joined Rob in the bullpen.

Chris was cursing himself for being such a damned fool. Buck hadn't done a thing to deserve that kind of cold treatment. He turned to reach out, but Buck had gone. Crossing the room, hoping it wasn't too late to call his friend back, Chris made it as far as the office door when he heard Buck's laugh and saw Rob gather him up into a hug.=20 Frozen in the doorway, he watched as the two men left, Rob's arm still draped across Buck's back.

Slamming his door in fury, to the great surprise of the men who were seated in the outer office, Chris crumpled up the report he still held in his hands and flung it across the office.

"Way to go you stupid bastard," he muttered to himself. "You gave him a really tough choice there didn't you? Good-looking, charming, funny or mean-tempered, irrational pain-in-the-ass who hasn't seen him in five days but who'd rather nag him about a report than throw him over the desk and fuck him senseless. Wonder if that'll be a hard decision for him?" he thought bitterly.

That night Vin and JD joined Buck and Rob for a late night drink so that the team could catch up with events of the case. Chris was being singularly uncommunicative and the team felt left in the dark. Buck had briefly considered calling Chris to see if he wanted to join them, but he'd given the idea up when he remembered their meeting earlier in the day. Chris didn't seem in much of a mood to be with him right now, Buck mused, and he didn't want to piss the man off by pushing it.

When Rob went to the bar to order a round of drinks, Buck asked his colleagues, "How's Chris?"

They exchanged a look Buck couldn't read.

"He's been a little=85 tense recently," Vin replied, carefully.

"Tense!" JD exclaimed. "He's been a fucking bastard, Buck."

Vin kicked him under the table to shut him up. The last thing Buck needed while working on an undercover case away from his friends was to hear that Chris was getting moody.

"He's a bit pre-occupied, that's all," Vin said. "Probably worried about the case. You know how he gets?"

Buck nodded. "Yeah, I guess." But the feeling of disquiet that had nagged at him since seeing Chris grew a little stronger.

Chris had been up half the night wondering how he could salvage a little dignity with Buck. First thing in the morning he called the special phone number that had been set up for the operation and left a message asking his friend to come by the office again if he could.=20 Chris would have liked to have talked with Buck directly, but placing a call to his cell phone might have compromised Buck if he was on the job. At least this way he knew Buck would get the message as it was part of undercover protocol to call into a specially designated number each day.

Chris was feeling a little better by the time he approached the office. At least he'd be able to apologize to Buck for his display of bad temper. Maybe they'd even find a little time for Chris to show Buck how sorry he was. He knew Buck loved it when they fucked in the office, and what wouldn't he give right now to kneel at his lover's feet, to suck on that hot, heavy cock, feel it filling his mouth while Buck held his head in place with hands tangled in his hair and slid himself past Chris' lips again and again. Chris shuddered at the thought.=20=20

He missed Buck so much. Not just the sex, but having him near enough to brush against when Chris needed to touch him; smelling the warm, musky scent that was partly his cologne, partly his own irresistible self; hearing his laugh raised above the other voices in the bullpen - a sound that sent a jolt of pure love surging through him; catching sight of the man's perfect ass as he turned to walk away - something that sent a jolt of pure lust through him. Jesus, the list was endless.

Despite the fact that he had worked himself into a fine state thinking about Buck and what he wanted to do to him, Chris was actually fairly happy when he walked into the office.

The elation crashed, however, when he heard Vin and JD telling Josiah about the great night they had just spent with Buck and Rob fucking Jackson. He stood in the doorway while JD regaled the man with what a standup guy Jackson was, how funny, how generous, how he and Buck seemed to have hit if off so well.

Vin caught sight of Chris, frozen in the doorway, and nudged JD.

"Oh, hi Chris," he said. "We was just telling Josiah about Buck and Rob=85= "

"JD," Chris interrupted, "This ain't the fucking Oprah show. We're supposed to be here to work." He stormed into his office and slammed the door. JD looked at the other two men.

"What'd I say?" he asked, mystified.

Josiah shook his head. "Brother, the sooner Buck gets back here and puts that one back on track, the better," he said.

Chris was furious. Here he was ready to go to his knees for Wilmington and the other man was out all hours playing footsie with his new beach-bunny boyfriend! "He can just go and fuck himself," Chris muttered.

He spent several fruitless hours trying to get some work done while his mind spun out pictures of Buck and Rob doing all the kinky, sweet, hot, raucous, crazy things he and Buck had done together over the years. When he got to the part where Buck was sucking Rob off in the car park of the Seven-Eleven while Ezra and Vin dashed inside for a candy bar and a pack of gum, Chris was about as pissed as he could get. Unfortunately, Buck chose that exact moment to walk into his office.

"You wanted to see me, Chris?' he asked.=20=20

Chris could barely raise his head to look at his partner. "How was the party last night?" he asked.

Buck cringed a little. "Wasn't a party. Just a drink."

"Rob enjoy himself?"

Buck frowned, "I guess."

Chris looked up. "Don't suppose you had the time to finish the report I asked you for?" Chris' tone was almost conversational, but Buck wasn't fooled.

"Look Chris=85" he began.

"Yes or no?" The voice had gained a hard edge.

"No."

"Too busy to write a report I specifically asked you for. Not too busy to go drinking." Chris snapped.

"I'm sorry, Chris=85" Buck began.

"That's just not fucking good enough, Buck," Chris exploded. Buck flinched. He had no idea why Chris was obsessing like this, but it was starting to irritate him.

"It's just a report, Chris. I'll get it done today and turn it in first thing."

"So, today you blow off a report. What next? What else are you gonna decide isn't worth your effort?"

Buck had had enough. "What's this all about?" he demanded.

Chris slammed his fist on the table. "You wanna know what it's about?" he shouted. "If you don't wanna do the job properly maybe you shouldn't be doing it at all."

Buck clenched his teeth together and swallowed down a sharp retort, hoping to stop this from getting any uglier. "You finished?" he asked.

"No I haven't," Chris continued to shout. "When's the last time you checked in with me on this case?"

"I was here yesterday=85" Buck began to protest.

"Only 'cos I ordered you in. You seem to have forgotten that I'm still your boss."

Buck stiffened. "I've never forgotten that, Chris," he said softly.

"Well you don't act like it. Just because I fuck you sometimes doesn't mean you can take advantage in the workplace." Buck's face seemed to drain of all color. Chris could see that his words were hurting his friend but he didn't seem to be able to stop them from spewing out.

"Maybe things have gotten too tangled up between us=85" Chris wasn't cruel enough to continue that thought in light of the look of total devastation that flashed across his lover's face. He stood up abruptly and went to look out the window, turning his back on the other man. He tried to gather his thoughts. What the hell was he doing pushing Buck away from him instead of gathering him in close and tight? The whole reason he was feeling so god-awful was that he was afraid of losing this man. So why was he being such a bastard to him instead of throwing himself into the man's arms and telling him how much he loved him?

He felt Buck approach him slowly until the man was standing next to him, close but not crowding him.

"What is it, Chris?" Buck asked gently. "What have I done to piss you off?"

And Buck was so fucking sweet and humble and understanding and forgiving, even though he hadn't done a thing wrong, that Chris felt like a complete asshole. And it wasn't a feeling that sat well on him. So he exploded at Buck again in order to protect himself from having to look too closely at his own motives.

He turned to face his friend. "You know what, Buck? Let's just get this job out of the way. From here on in try to be a little less incompetent, maybe spend a little less time fucking around with your new pal and a little more time working the case."

Buck stiffened in absolute outrage. Enough was enough. He could only humiliate himself so far for Larabee. He turned and began to walk out of the office.

"Come back, I haven't finished with you yet," Chris snarled.

For a moment Buck thought about continuing out the door and telling the other man to go and fuck himself. But that would make him as idiotic as Larabee. He turned back to face his team leader.

"When this case is over you and me are gonna have to have a little talk," Chris said. "It's time we figgered out what's working and what isn't between us."

Buck nodded tersely, not trusting himself to speak. Chris turned his back. "You can go now," he ordered, surprised when Buck left without another word, closing the door gently on his way out.

The atmosphere between the two men became more and more strained as the days passed. Chris was ashamed at his appalling treatment of Buck, in knots over the man's possible relationship with Rob Jackson, and tense because of the dangerous case they were all involved with.

Buck was convinced that he had ruined everything between himself and Chris, that he had not been understanding enough of the strain the man was under, that he had been pushy when he should have hung back.=20=20

Both wanted nothing more than to beg forgiveness of the other.=20 Neither knew how to begin.

Their teammates were at a loss to help them. It was obvious that the two old friends were at loggerheads, but nobody knew why. JD tried to ask Buck, but was told to back off. Vin almost got his head bitten off when he tried to approach Chris.=20=20

Despite the dangers, the case concluded well. Buck passed himself off easily as an arms supplier and lured Fuentes into a deal. Once money was exchanged, the ATF moved in and swept Fuentes up. Whether he could be held on charges in this case was left to the lawyers to deal with.=20=20

Buck was sorry to say goodbye to Rob. He had proved to be an extremely professional and experienced agent, as well as being a loyal and trustworthy partner. He reminded Buck of Chris in the old days.=20 Always ready for a laugh, able to find fun in most any situation. It made Buck realize how much Chris had changed over the years.

Now that the case had wrapped, Buck was dreading the day when Chris would call him into his office and end things between them. He knew it was coming. Chris had continued in his cold treatment, hardly able to look him in the eye when their paths crossed. Any day now he would hear the words from Chris. Then what in God's name would he do?

Chris was pacing in his office, had been for hours. He hadn't slept properly in days, couldn't eat without feeling sick. Christ, he was acting like a love struck teenager! When Rob Jackson had left to return to Florida he had made a final report to Chris. And it was pretty obvious that his relationship with Buck had been strictly business. Chris cursed himself for the hundredth time for being such a stupid bastard. How could Buck ever forgive him for the way he had treated him? He couldn't even look the other man in the eye he was so ashamed. Well at least this time had taught him something. It had shown him that Buck was the most important thing in his life and that he was worth fighting for. The rest was bullshit. His fear of telling their colleagues, his unwillingness to make a real commitment - all bullshit. He was going to confess his feelings to Buck and throw himself on the man's mercy. And if Buck told him to go and fuck himself, well it was no more than he deserved. He determined to invite his friend to the ranch tonight and make a clean confession.

Having made up his mind, Chris left his office and joined the men in the bullpen. Silence fell as he entered and he cringed a little to remember how distracted he had been and how he had snapped at most of his men at one time or another over the past few days . God, he had a lot of apologizing to do and a whole lot of fences to mend. But first he had to square things with Buck.

The men were looking at him expectantly.

"Guys, I need a bit of time to talk to Buck. Why don't you take an early lunch."

Vin and JD exchanged worried looks. Buck stiffened but determined to hold it together.=20=20

The men gathered up their things and left, somewhat reluctantly. A couple of them slapped Buck on the back as they left and gave him sympathetic glances. It reminded Chris of a death row farewell!

When they had left, Chris perched on the edge of Buck's desk, noting sadly how the man unconsciously backed away from him.

"Will you come out to the ranch with me tonight?" he asked.

Buck looked startled. "You really want me to?"=20

"Of course."

Buck shook his head. If Chris wanted to dump him, he could do it here and now. "You ain't hardly said one civil word to me for days, Chris.  You've been pissed at me for ever and I don't even know what I've done."

Chris winced, "I'm sorry 'bout that, Buck. I want to explain."

"I don't want to hear any explanations, Chris. Just say what you have to say."

"Come to the ranch. It'll be easier to talk there," Chris said.=20=20

Buck was starting to get irritated. The least the man could do was get it over with as cleanly as possible. "You think you can just snap your fingers and I'll come running?" he said, his voice rising in anger, "Even though you've been acting like a bastard?"

"That's not what I think.." Chris began.

"What then? You figger you screwed me whenever you felt like it in the past, maybe you can get one last fuck out of me?" "We were fucking each other, if you recall," Chris snapped, then pushed down the irritation he was feeling. This is not how he had wanted this to go. "Look, Buck," he began again, more mildly, "We need to talk."

Buck laughed, a hollow pained sound. "I tried that already, pard.=20 Remember? You told me I was the help you fucked from time to time and that I was taking advantage."

Chris winced at the memory.

Buck sighed. He suddenly felt tired and defeated. It had been a hard, dangerous case. He was emotionally and physically exhausted and this was pointless. "Look, you don't need to dance around it or sugar-coat it. I know what you want to say."

It was Chris' turn to look surprised. "You do?" he asked.

"I ain't as thick skinned as you think, Chris, " Buck said softly.=20 "You want to finish things between us. Just say it."=20=20

"That ain't what I want to say at all!" Chris protested.

"What other reason you have for treating me like shit these past days?" Buck climbed to his feet. "Look, I'll make it easy for you.=20 You don't even have to say the words. You'll have my transfer request on your desk in the morning." He turned to leave.

"Goddamnit, Buck," Chris snapped. "Why do you always get the wrong end of the stick? I don't want you to leave. I love you, you stupid bastard!"

Buck looked at him dumbfounded. "You what?"

Chris sighed. "I wanted you to come out to the ranch so I could tell you I love you. So we could talk about how to tell the others. So we can make plans for a life together for God's sake."

Buck sat down heavily on a chair and buried his head in his hands. "I thought you'd gotten fed up with me," he whispered. "There were times I thought you hated me."

Chris swallowed hard. "I was jealous," he murmured.

Buck looked up. "Jealous?" he echoed.

"Of Rob."

"Of Rob?" Buck echoed again, his voice rising with anger. "Why?"

Chris shuffled restlessly. "I thought he was making a play for you," he muttered, avoiding the other man's eyes.

Buck stood up and stepped closer to his friend. "He did make a play for me," he said.

Chris stiffened in outrage. "When?" he demanded.

"Second day on the job," Buck answered.

Chris was startled. "What did you do?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't betray his fear.

"I told him I was fucking my boss and he'd have to get in line," Buck snapped. "What do you think I did, you jackass? I told him I was involved with somebody else."

Chris hissed out a breath of relief.

"You thought I was fucking around on you," Buck accused angrily.=20 "That's why you've been such a goddamned bastard."

Chris was beginning to get angry, despite the fact that most of Buck said was true. "You fuck around on me all the time you son-of-a-bitch," he shouted. "You've banged just about every woman in Denver. And you don't give a shit if I know about it or not!"

"Wait a minute," Buck shouted back. "No fucking way are you gonna put that shit on me, Larabee. You're the one who wanted to keep things casual, not me. You're the one who said I shouldn't change my life for you. Don't go getting pissy with me 'cos I did what you asked."

"Did I ask you to fuck every woman you ever laid eyes on?" Chris snapped. "How do I know you haven't screwed a hundred other guys too?"

"Because I love you, you stupid bastard," Buck shouted.

Chris' mouth fell open. "You what?" he asked, incredulously.

"I love you," Buck said, much more quietly. "I've always loved you, even when you were with Sarah. I only date now because you don't want to get too involved=85"

"I do," Chris interrupted. "I've wanted to almost from the time we got back together again after Sarah=85" he trailed off.

"Why didn't you say something?" Buck asked softly.

Chris looked away, embarrassed. "Cos I was scared. All I wanted was you, but you seemed happy dating women and I didn't want to push too hard in case I scared you off."

Buck groaned. "I was only dating 'cos I thought you didn't want nothing more than a fuck every now and then. I figgered if I gave up women it would scare you off. God, you're all I ever wanted."

The two men stood in silence for a minute, looking at each other, not sure what should happen next.

"You really think we could make a life together?" Buck finally asked.

Chris nodded. "If it's what you want. I'm tired of the lies, Buck.=20 I want our friends to know. How can they be friends if we don't even trust them with who we are?" he pleaded. "And I want to be with you.  Not just a fuck whenever we can sneak off together. I wanna fall asleep in your arms and wake up with you."

"Somebody to share a cup of coffee with in the morning?" Buck smiled.

"And a whole lot more, pard," Chris smiled back.

They stared at each other a moment longer then Buck opened his arms, and Chris stepped up and snuggled gratefully into the other man's arms.

"Love you," Chris murmured. "God, do you know how much I love you?"

Buck tightened the hug. Chris tipped his head back. "Will you come to the ranch with me? Let me show you I'm sorry for being such a bastard," he pleaded softly.

Buck smiled. "How you plan on doing that darlin?"

"I have a couple of things in mind," Chris smiled.

Buck ground his hardening cock into Chris' groin. "Care to give me a little sneak preview, Stud?" he whispered.

Chris laughed. "Here? What if the others come back?"

"You're the one wants they should know," Buck said. "It'd be like show and tell."

"You're a kinky son-of-a-bitch, ain't ya?" Chris replied, although he was already undoing Buck's belt.

"Can be, darlin" Buck murmured. "Isn't that one of the reasons you love me?"

"I'd list 'em all," Chris chuckled, "but I can't talk with my mouth full." He slid down the other man's body and sucked his cock deep into his throat.

"Jesus!" Buck groaned, and it was the last coherent statement he made until he exploded into his lover's mouth, moaning the other man's name.

The End