Healing Hands

by Tracy

ATF Universe

Author's notes: The idea for this fic came from a suggestion in the Bad Element chat, which Nancy was kind enough to pass on. We don't know who put out the suggestion, though, since Nancy's computer stopped cooperating for a time. So thanks if you are out there, whoever suggested this, and I hope you like what I've done with your idea! :-) Oh, and this is strictly a hurt/comfort-fest, no real plot, just an excuse to put Chris in high comfort mode with his favorite little sharpshooter.


ONE

Chris Larabee cursed inwardly as he stared at the clock. "Six-thirty! Half an hour late! Where the hell is he?" He yanked the cordless phone off the kitchen table and dialed Vin's number for the third time.

"Dammit Vin, you k new this concert was important to me!" he said bitterly into the phone, as it rang and rang, just like it had on the previous attempts. Chris readied himself to leave another message, expecting the machine to pick up, when he heard the unmistakable clang of a phone being dropped. A few seconds of fumbling, then he heard the voice of his lover, Vin Tanner.

"Chrissss," Vin moaned out.

"Vin! What the hell is going on? Are you drunk?" Chris spat out.

"No....Chris.....I" Vin began.

"You fell asleep, didn't you?" Chris accused. "Vin, you know how important this concert is! My only niece comes to Denver with the Boston Symphony, and you fall asleep and make me late for her performance. Well, I'm going without you, Vin! And if I miss her solo, so help me....."

"Chrisssss," Vin moaned again.

Chris paused, his rant dying off as he heard the retching sounds coming from the other end of the phone.

"Vin! What's wrong! Vin!"

"Oh, God......help......." Vin cried out weakly, retching again, his stomach heaving violently as it expelled its contents.

"Vin! Stay there, I'm coming to get you! Vin, stay there. I'm so sorry Vin," Chris said, his voice breaking with emotion.

Chris heard the phone hit the floor again, as the tortured moans continued. He grabbed his keys and ran out of the house.

+ + + + + + +

Flying through the country roads, headed for Vin's apartment, Chris had plenty of time to berate himself. Vin was rarely late for anything, so why the hell had he laid into him so bad? He should have known something was wrong. Vin would have called, otherwise. And Vin certainly wasn't a selfish person. He'd known how important Allison's concert was to Chris. And for that matter, Vin himself had been looking forward to meeting Chris's niece. "No," Chris said to himself, shaking his head at his own stupidity, "this is all my fault. Vin being all right is what's important. Allison will understand. And I could go to any other city and see one of her concerts. What the hell is my problem?"

He stopped impatiently at a red light, just one block from Vin's. He'd resisted pulling out his emergency siren so far, clenching his hands tightly on the wheel to stop himself from reaching into the glovebox for it. The light finally changed, and he sped off again.

Two minutes later he pulled up to Vin's apartment complex, parked and ran up the stairs. He entered the apartment, grateful that Vin had given him a key to the apartment a while back.

"Vin!" Chris yelled as he pushed the door open and spied the sharpshooter, huddled on the living room floor, surrounded by puddles of vomit. "Vin, oh God, Vin!" Chris kept shouting, unable to stop himself.

"Chris?" Vin said weakly. He uncurled himself slightly from the fetal position he lay in, and looked up at his lover. "Chris?" he repeated, reaching out for Chris with a shaking hand. Another spasm ripped through his slender frame, and he shuddered, collapsing back to the floor, curling in on himself once again.

"Vin, I'm gonna take you to the hospital," Chris said, panic stricken at how ill Vin appeared, but forcing his voice to stay calm and soothing, so as not to agitate Vin, anymore than he already was.

"Hurts," Vin managed to moan out, holding his stomach.

"I know it does," Chris murmured, running a hand through Vin's hair, jolted at the heat coming off Vin's forehead, as his hand brushed against it. "I'll be right back Vin," he said, straightening up and heading for Vin's bedroom, to grab a blanket.

"No.....don't leave me.....please," Vin cried out brokenly, rolling onto his side, trying to push himself up. His shaking arms collapsed, and he sank back down. "Chris....please.....I'm....I'm sorry."

Chris hesitated, torn between staying with Vin, who was obviously out of his head with fever, and running into the bedroom and getting the blanket.

"Vin, I'm right here, I'll be right back," he called out, hoping his words would sink through Vin's delirium.

"No, please, Chris......don't be mad......don't leave me......" Vin continued to ramble on, past the point of hearing Chris, or understanding what he was saying.

"Back again Vin," Chris said, sprinting over to the prone man, sliding him away from the various pool of puke as best he could, and cocooning Vin in the blanket. "Let's get you to the hospital," he said softly, picking up Vin carefully and carrying him out the door, to the Ram.

TWO

"All right Vin, let's get you buckled in," Chris said gently as he placed Vin in the passenger seat.

"No......hurts.....Chris, wanna....lay down," Vin gasped out, trying to curl himself back into a ball.

"I know Vin, but you need to sit up. I'll hurry, I promise," Chris said, hating to see Vin suffering, wishing he could do something to relieve his lover's pain. When Vin was fastened in securely, Chris ran around to the other side of the SUV and jumped in. This time he retrieved the emergency siren from the glovebox and quickly attached it to his dashboard. Seconds later, siren blaring, he sped away toward Four Corners Memorial Hospital.

"Chris.....gonna be sick....." Vin groaned out. "Sorry.....I'm....sorry."

"Go ahead Vin, don't worry about anything. It's all right," Chris coaxed.

Vin swallowed repeatedly, trying to force the bile back down his throat, but he lost the struggle, and became sick once again, spewing onto the blanket Chris had wrapped around him.

Chris glanced over at the younger man, silently cursing himself for not thinking to grab a few towels at Vin's apartment.

"I'm sorry Vin," he apologized, turning his eyes back to the road, overwhelmed by guilt as he thought of Vin, laying in his own vomit for God knows how long, while Chris had sat at home, angry at him for being late. And now, Vin was still surrounded by the foul fluid, since Chris hadn't even thought to bring towels to help keep him clean.

"Almost there Vin," he said tightly, maneuvering through the last few blocks of traffic near the hospital. He pulled into the hospital's emergency entrance, slammed the SUV into park, jumped out of the car and ran to the double doors.

"Need some help here!" he shouted, spying an orderly and a nurse standing nearby.

"What's the problem?" the nurse asked, heading out after Chris.

"My friend," Chris replied tersely. "Found him laying on the floor of his apartment, covered with vomit. He won't stop puking, and he's burning up."

"Did you find anything near him? Pills, chemicals?"

Chris shook his head. No, just him," he said shakily.

"Okay, we'll take it from here," the nurse said, helping the orderly unstrap Vin from the seatbelt, and place him on a gurney. "We'll get him settled inside. Move your car to the parking lot," she directed, "then follow us in."

Chris hurried to comply, then ran into the emergency room area. Having been to the hospital on many previous occasions, he knew the way to the emergency treatment rooms, and hurried back to them. He looked around frantically, then spotted Vin in the corner.

"How is he?" he asked anxiously.

"Very dehydrated," the nurse replied. "We've started your friend on an IV to replenish his fluids. We need to run some tests to see what's causing his fever and vomiting. Can you give us information on his medical history?"

Chris nodded and gave the nurse the required information on Vin. Then, to his frustration, he was banished to the waiting room area, and told to give Vin's insurance information to the nurse at the reception desk.

"Agent Larabee? Back again?" the nurse at the desk asked incredulously.

"Hi Judy," Chris said, giving the nurse a small smile.

"Who is it this time?" she asked kindly.

"Vin."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Agent Larabee," Judy replied. "I'm sure he'll be okay," she said reassuringly.

"Thanks Judy," Chris said, his eyes straying to the treatment area doors. He felt the sting of tears begin, and rapidly blinked to clear them from his eyes. Judy noticed his distress, and busied herself at the computer to allow Chris time to compose himself.

After a minute, she spoke again.

"Agent Larabee, why don't you have a seat? I've got all of Agent Tanner's information on file from his last visit, so you don't need to fill out anything. And I'll see what I can do about getting you an update on him."

"Thank you," Chris said gratefully, his voice barely above a whisper. He walked toward a row of chairs, not really even noticing what he was doing. His legs began to tremble, and he sank into one of the chairs to wait for word on Vin.

+ + + + + + +

"Mr. Larabee?"

"How's Vin?" Chris said, standing up.

"If you'll come with me, I'll take you to him," the nurse said, walking toward the treatment rooms.

"Mr. Tanner is stabilized," the nurse explained as they neared Vin's cubicle. A tall man in a white coat turned to greet them as they approached. Chris craned his neck to see around the doctor, trying to catch a glimpse of Vin.

"Mr. Larabee, I'm Peter Jamison," the doctor said, shaking hands with Chris, and stepping back to allow Chris to see Vin clearly. "I know how anxious you must be, Mr. Larabee, so let me reassure you that Mr. Tanner will be just fine."

"He will?" Chris said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yes, I'm happy to say that he should make a complete recovery," the doctor reassured with a smile. "As you can see, Mr. Tanner is resting comfortably now, and we've determined the cause of his illness."

"What happened?" Chris asked.

"Food poisoning," Dr. Jamison replied.

"Food poisoning? You're sure?" Chris said with disbelief.

"Yes. Unfortunately, Mr. Tanner's is not the only case of it we've seen tonight. We've narrowed it down to tainted chicken salad. The Board of Health has been notified, and will confirm it, to be 100% sure, but for now, Mr. Tanner is responding well to treatment for food poisoning, as are all the other patients."

"But he was so sick," Chris said, still not completely convinced.

"This is one of the worst cases of food poisoning I've ever seen," the doctor explained. "I'd like to keep him here for at least twenty-four hours. His fever is still pretty high, and he is severely dehydrated from all the vomiting."

Chris nodded his agreement, relieved that Vin was going to be all right.

"Andi here will get Mr. Tanner set up in a regular room for the night," Dr. Jamison added, then shook Chris's hand. "A floor nurse will check on Mr. Tanner when he gets upstairs. Please have me paged if you have any questions."

"Thank you doctor," Chris said, then turned back around to face Vin, as the doctor moved on to his next patient. Chris leaned over Vin's bed, lightly stroking his lover's forehead and hair, pleased to find that Vin was not as hot as he'd been at the apartment.

Just then, Vin began to stir.

"Vin?" Chris said softly, reaching out for his lover's hand, and squeezing it gently.

"Chris? Where...." Vin mumbled, his eyes opening briefly, then closing again.

"Sshh, it's all right," Chris soothed. "Just rest now Vin, everything's all right."

"No," Vin mumbled miserably. "Feel sick....."

Andi has just returned to Vin's beside, and she quickly grabbed a bedpan and shoved it under Vin's head. The sharpshooter retched repeatedly for several minutes, with very little liquid filling the bedpan.

"Dry heaves," Andi said as she removed the bedpan, then wet a washcloth and began wiping down Vin's sweat soaked face. "He's got nothing left in his stomach to come up. Poor thing, that's got to really hurt," she murmured sympathetically.

"Chris?" Vin whispered as Andi stepped away from the bed.

"Right here pard," Chris said, stepping closer and reaching for Vin's hand. "You doing okay? Why don't you try to go back to sleep?"

"Can't, stomach hurts too bad, and I don't feel so good," Vin replied, biting his lip as another spasm of pain shot through his abdomen.

"Sshh, just close your eyes and try to go to sleep, Vin. Do it for me?" Chris asked with a small smile, as he began to stroke Vin's hair again softly. "Just think about being at your favorite place," Chris suggested, hoping to take Vin's mind off his discomfort. He watched as Vin's pain wracked face relaxed slightly.

"Where are you Vin?" Chris whispered, leaning down to speak into his lover's ear.

"At the ranch, with you," Vin whispered back. "We're in the north pasture, riding the horses up near the creek, real early in the morning....." Vin said, his voice fading as he dropped off to sleep at last.

Chris sighed with relief that Vin was finally asleep, and for the time being, not feeling any pain. He stood next to the bed, holding Vin's hand, watching him sleep, until two orderlies came to move the younger man up to a regular room.

"They'll take care of Mr. Tanner from here, Mr. Larabee," Andi said, as she returned to Vin's bedside. "Why don't you go on home and get some rest? Visiting hours are almost over, but you can come back tomorrow around ten," she suggested.

"Afraid I can't do that," Chris said in a flat tone. He stared hard at Andi and the two orderly. All three unconsciously backed away from Chris. "You see, I'm an ATF agent, and that's one of my men lying there. I'm not about to leave him."

"But, but, Mr. Larabee," Andi sputtered. "We have rules....."

"Bend 'em," Chris said harshly, crossing his arms, standing firm.

"But...." Andi started to say, then the words died on her lips as she saw another nurse approach.

"Mr. Larabee?" the new arrival greeted.

"Kathy!" Chris said, recognizing the sixth floor nursing supervisor.

"Is there a problem here?" Kathy pointedly asked Andi.

"Yes, there is. This man," she said, pointing to Chris, "insists on staying with this patient, and we can't allow...."

"Yes we can," Kathy said sternly, interrupting Andi. "Mr. Larabee and Mr. Tanner are ATF agents. When one of the agents is injured or sick, someone always stays with them. They watch each other's backs, Andi. It's for security reasons." She turned slightly toward Chris, and gave him a quick wink, that only he could see. Then she turned back to Andi. "So it's best not to interfere in something like this, don't you agree Andi?"

Andi looked at Chris, then at Vin, then back at Kathy.

"Okay, you win, Mr. Larabee," she said. "And I'm off in twenty minutes anyway." She turned to Kathy. "Good ahead, he's all yours."

"Thanks Andi," Kathy said with a smile. Then she led the way to the elevator. "After you Mr. Larabee."

THREE

"He's going to be fine, Mr. Larabee," Kathy reassured, as she finished adjusting the IV tubing snaking down into Vin's arm. "This stuff will fix him right up."

"Thanks Kathy," Chris said with a smile. "I was so scared when he wouldn't stop throwing up. He was so sick, I didn't know what was wrong with him."

"Yeah, he got a good dose of it all right," Kathy said sympathetically. She looked down at Vin with a slight frown, then felt his forehead. "His fever seems like it's going up." She stuck the temperature probe in his ear, then read it after it beeped. "It's 103 now. It's gone up a little."

"Is he getting worse then?" Chris asked anxiously.

"Not sure, Mr. Larabee. Could just be his body fighting off the bacteria, but we'll watch him real closely to be sure. In the meantime, I'll wipe him down with some cool water. It'll help cool him down and make him a little more comfortable."

Chris stopped her as she headed for the closet.

"Kathy, let me do it. I'll take care of Vin," he said with rising desperation.

"Are you sure Mr. Larabee? It's my job, and I don't mind at all," Kathy said kindly.

"No, no, it's fine Kathy," Chris said hurriedly. "You've always taken really good care of Vin and the rest of us. But you must have a lot of other patients, and I...well...I wasn't very nice to Vin earlier, when he first got sick, so I'd kind of like to try and make it up to him," he finished guiltily, remembering once again when he'd yelled at Vin on the phone earlier that evening.

"No problem, Mr. Larabee, I'll get you what you need," Kathy replied. She was back a minute later with a basin, a washcloth and several towels. "I'll check back in a while. Just buzz me if you need me in the meantime," she said with a smile, shutting the door behind her as she left.

Chris quickly filled the basin and was back at Vin's bedside. "Come on pard, don't do this to me," he said, staring worriedly at Vin's flushed face. "You're supposed to be getting better, not worse," he said softly, as he pushed back the damp curls that spilled over Vin's forehead.

"Chris...........it's so hot......" Vin mumbled, tossing in the bed, but not waking up. Chris rewet the cloth quickly, then moved it down to bath Vin's neck and arms with the cool liquid.

"Ssh, Vin, it'll be better in a minute," Chris soothed, as he continued to wipe at his lover's fevered skin.

"Chris....." Vin moaned.

"Go back to sleep Vin," Chris said, kissing Vin lightly on the forehead, the skin beneath his lips still warm to the touch. The younger man sighed, then seemed to struggle a bit, before he finally dropped off to sleep once more.

Coming back in to check on Vin an hour later, Kathy found Chris, sprawled over Vin's chest, sound asleep, damp cloth still in his hand. With a soft chuckle, she eased the cloth out of Chris's hand, then found a spare blanket and covered Chris with it. She took Vin's temperature, pleased to see that it had dropped two degrees, and checked his IV. Then she walked quietly out of the room.

+ + + + + + +

A bright burst of sunlight flashed across Chris's face, rousing him out of a deep sleep.

"What the...." he said gruffly, then jerked upright as he remembered where he was.

"Vin?" he asked, staring down at his still slumbering lover.

"Good morning, Mr. Larabee," Kathy's cheery voice greeted him, from over near the window.

"So you're the one responsible for all that light," Chris groused, eyes squinting into the sunshine.

"I know Mr. Tanner will enjoy the sunshine when he wakes up, even if you don't," Kathy teased back.

Chris glanced at his watch, surprised that it read 9am.

"Don't you ever go home?" he asked Kathy incredulously.

"I'm working a double shift, they're short nurses on the floor today," Kathy explained. "But I'm off in a couple of hours, and I'm going to sleep like a log," she said wistfully. She turned to look at Vin, and took his temperature. "Great! His temperature is just about normal."

"Really?" Chris said happily.

"Yes it is," Kathy said with a nod. "I'm going to check on Mr. Tanner's breakfast tray, and the doctor should be around in an hour or so. I'll bet he releases Vin today."

"So soon?" Chris said worriedly.

"Well, the doctor will tell you for sure, but with his temperature near normal and as long as he's able to keep his breakfast down, he should be cleared for discharge."

Just then an orderly walked in with the breakfast tray, which Kathy took.

"You want to try and wake him up, Mr. Larabee?" she asked.

Chris nodded and leaned down to Vin.

"Hey pard," he said softly, taking Vin's hand in his and squeezing it lightly. Vin stirred slightly, but didn't wake up.

This time Chris tried harder, running a hand across Vin's cheek, and down through his hair.

"Vin," he said louder. "Wake up, time for breakfast."

"Not hungry," Vin mumbled, trying to roll over, away from the insistent voice.

"Oh no you don't," Chris said, catching Vin as he tried to roll away. "Come on, Vin, time to get up," he urged.

"Aw hell, you're gonna keep that up all day unless I get up, aren't you," Vin grumbled, as he opened his eyes.

"Yep," Chris said, grinning at Vin, relieved that Vin was awake and alert.

"How are you feeling Mr. Tanner?" Kathy asked.

Vin turned to her, noticing the nurse for the first time. "Kathy?" he frowned. "What am I doing here? What's going on? Am I sick?" he asked, bewildered.

"Don't you remember Vin?" Chris asked with concern. "You had food poisoning. You were really sick. You didn't show up last night and I found you in your apartment...." he started to say, then could have kicked himself a minute later, as he saw the guilt in Vin's eyes.

"The concert. Oh God, I'm so sorry Chris. I made you miss the concert," Vin said unhappily.
"I know how important that was to you. Why didn't you just leave me Chris? This is all my fault." He closed his eyes and turned away from Chris, feeling completely miserable.

"Kathy, can you excuse us?" Chris asked the nurse.

"Sure thing, Mr. Larabee, just make sure Mr. Tanner eats," she said as she left the room.

A second later Vin felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Vin."

"Chris, I'm sorry. Just go see your niece, okay?"

"Vin, please, turn around and look at me," Chris begged.

After a minute, Vin rolled over slowly toward Chris, eyes downcast.

"Vin," Chris said, guiding Vin's chin up with his hand, bringing the sad blue eyes up to meet his. "Vin, please don't be upset about this. It's not a big deal about missing the concert. I'm sorry for how I acted last night. We can see Allison play another time."

"But Chris...." Vin started to protest.

"No Vin, listen. You're the most important thing to me. Getting you better is all that matters right now."

Vin looked like he still wasn't convinced, so Chris leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"No more talking about it, okay?" Chris said. "And it's time for your breakfast. I promised Kathy you'd eat, so don't make a liar out of me."

"Chris, I don't want anything to eat right now," Vin groaned. Just the thought of food made him nauseated. And even though he didn't really remember all of last night, the visions that he did have of himself, laying on his apartment floor, puking up his guts, made him seriously consider never eating anything again.

"Got to pard," Chris said, ignoring Vin's protest. "Otherwise, that IV'll be stuck in your arm permanently, and you'll never get out of here." He leaned back over and stared at Vin intently, his green eyes boring into Vin's. "And I sure as hell don't like seeing you here. The hospital isn't where you belong Vin. You belong at home with me, at the ranch," he finished, his voice rough with emotion.

Straightening up, emotions back under control, he turned and uncovered the food, setting in on Vin's tray table.

"Hmm, looks like some broth...."

"Not chicken, I hope," Vin moaned.

"No, looks like beef broth Vin," Chris said with a grin. "Guess you don't want anything to do with chicken for a while, huh?"

"Don't even mention that word Chris. I think I'm gonna heave again," Vin replied.

"Can't blame you there pard," Chris sympathized. He turned back to the tray. "Okay, broth, and a piece of toast. And some water. You can handle eating that, can't you Vin?" he coaxed.

"Yeah, I'll try," Vin said reluctantly. With Chris's help, he was soon sitting up, ready to eat.

"You want me to help?" Chris asked.

"No, I got it," Vin said, reaching for the spoon. His hand shook slightly, but he ignored it and filled the spoon. His hand was shaking badly by the time he got the soup to his mouth, and he ended up wearing more of the liquid than he got into his mouth. Chris stayed silent, watching as the same thing happened two more times. Then he decided it was time to take action.

"Vin," he said gently, "let me do it."

"I can do it," Vin argued. "I'm not a baby. I can feed myself. Just a little shaky is all."

"Vin, don't be so stubborn. You're exhausted and your body's weak from being sick. I know you're not a baby, but everybody needs help now and then. Let me do this for you."

Vin sighed and handed the spoon over to Chris, embarrassed.

"Vin, it's nothing to be embarrassed about," Chris said, as he brought the broth filled spoon up to Vin's lips.

"Chris...."

"Open," Chris ordered.

Vin obeyed, and Chris quickly fed him the bowl of broth, helped him drink some of the water, then watched as Vin went to work on eating the toast. His lover's eyes started to droop after taking only two bites of the bread.

"Feeling a little tired Vin?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine," Vin lied, trying to prop his heavy eyelids open wider.

"Yes, you are," Chris said quietly as he watched Vin fall asleep. "Best damned thing in my life, Vin, and I sure as hell don't deserve you." He pressed the switch that lowered the bed down flat, then eased the blankets back up around Vin's slender body. "Get some rest pard," Chris whispered, "'cause as soon as you're back on your feet, I've got a lot of making up to do to you."

+ + + + + + +

Three weeks later, Vin sat in a plush box seat at Music Hall in Boston, Massachusetts, fidgeting nervously, pulling at the collar of his dress shirt. Chris glanced over at him, and patted his knee reassuringly.

"You sure do look handsome in that suit," Chris whispered seductively in Vin's ear. "But I can't wait to get you out of it."

Vin shivered with anticipation at Chris's words. "How long is this concert?" he asked.

"About two, three hours," Chris replied. "But there's an intermission," he added with a feral grin. "And I know just the place where we can spend it."

The End

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