If You Can't Beat 'em

by Winter

The team was sitting around the conference table. Chris was telling the team about there next assignment. They were to help the FBI for a bust at a strip joint that was being used for selling drugs. It was suspected that the male strippers were selling the drugs to supplement their income. The team was going in as backup for the FBI. They were going to take down the ring tonight, they just needed more personnel in the building.

"Alright, Josiah and I will be going in as security," Chris stated. "JD, you'll be lighting, Ezra, you're the bartender. Nathan, Buck and Vin you're going in as strippers."

"ME!" Vin said in a strangled voice.

"Yeah Vin, the FBI needed at least three of you behind the scenes."

"Can't I be the bartender?" Vin pleaded.

"Sorry, Pard, but Ezra is a smoother talker," Chris said trying to keep the smile off his face.

"Come on, Vin, it will be fun," Buck said punching him on the shoulder.

"Some of the women in the audience will also be FBI agents."

"Aw hell," Vin said and blushed.

"Alright we have three hours to get set up," Chris said. "Let's move."

+ + + + + + +

Chris checked his watch and it read 9:00pm. The raid would go down when the main suspect came to work around 10:30pm. Chris checked in with the main base. He let them know everything was going as planned. Chris checked Ezra at the bar. The women were keeping him busy. He was dressed in tight black satin pants and just a green bow tie around his neck. Chris was surprised at the well-built agent that was hiding under those Armani suits. Ezra seemed to be enjoying himself flirting with the women. Chris also noticed the large tips that were being left in the huge brandy snifter at the end of the bar. He could hear the undercover agent now when Chris had to tell him he couldn't keep the tips. Chris glanced over at Josiah and got a nod from the older agent. They were both dressed in black tuxes with red bow ties. Chris knew the show was about to start. He had tried to get in the back to see Vin but they wouldn't let him back. He looked up and saw JD messing with the lights. The stage went dark and all the women started yelling. A spotlight came on the stage to reveal Buck in a white sailor's suit. The song In the Navy came on over the speakers and Buck started his routine.

He sauntered across the stage and stopped at the edge. He swayed his hips to the music and slowly lowered his shirt of his shoulders. He pulled it off and twirled it around his head and threw it at the back of the stage. He gave the ladies a huge smile and they screamed. Some of them tried to crawl on the stage and Josiah and Chris moved in to stop them. Buck sashayed back on the stage and reached between his legs and pulled his pants off to reveal a red, white and blue G-string. He strutted around the stage and struck a pose when the song ended. He walked close to the edge of the stage and women stuffed dollars in his pants. He leaned down and kissed a few of them and strutted off the stage. Chris just shook his head.

"Brother Buck seemed to enjoy himself," Josiah chuckled.

"Yeah, too much," Chris said. "I just hope Vin plays along."

"Vin always comes through, don't worry."

The next few routines were the regular workers. Around 10:00pm Nathan came out dressed as a doctor. Chris just hung his head and Josiah laughed. Nathan ended up being as flamboyant as Buck. He had on a white lab coat and green scrubs. Around his neck he had a stethoscope. The music started and he started his act. He took of the stethoscope and twirled it, then gently threw it into the crowd. He turned his back on the audience and began to peel the lab coat off his shoulders. He let it fall to the ground and looked over his shoulder with a smile. The women hooted and screamed. He walked to the edge of the stage and ripped his shirt off. Chris was holding the women back and could hear the Velcro rip when he pulled off the shirt. Nathan ground his hips then ripped off the pants. The music ended and Nathan went around the stage collecting his money and giving out kisses. He winked at Chris when he caught his eye and walked off the stage. Chris rolled his eyes and Josiah laughed. Chris wandered over to the bar for a drink of water.

"Our colleagues seemed to be enjoying themselves," Ezra commented.

"Those two show-offs certainly did," Chris answered. "I'm not so sure Vin is going to."

"I think you'll be surprised," Ezra disagreed. "Vin has a mischievous side."

"I hope so."

Chris finished his drink and checked his watch. It said 10:25pm. Their suspect should be in any minute. Chris walked back to the stage. The lights dimmed and the stage went black. Chris watched JD hit the spotlight to reveal a dancer in a black cape. Spanish music came on and he turned around. Chris stifled his laughter but he could hear Josiah laugh. Standing on the stage was Vin dressed as Zorro. He was dressed all in black. He had the full mask on covering his head and all that Chris could see was his blue eyes. The only part not covered by the mask was Vin's mouth and nose. Chris could see they had painted a black mustache on him. Vin also carried a black bullwhip in his hand. He snaked it out and cracked it causing the women to go wild. Chris watched in amazement as the quiet sharpshooter started strutting his stuff across the stage. He pulled his hat off and threw it into the audience. He walked along the edge of the stage and one of the women grabbed his cape. Josiah had to pry her fingers off so Vin could continue. Chris smiled as Vin teasingly untied the string holding the cape around his neck. He took it off and did some fancy steps like he was fighting a bull. He twirled it fast around his body then let it fall to the floor. Vin wrapped the whip around his neck and came close to the edge of the stage. He swayed seductively in front of the women and ripped off his shirt. Chris and Josiah had a hard time keeping the women off the stage. The music was so loud that Chris almost missed the signal saying the raid was under way. Chris looked at Josiah and could see he had heard the signal also. He also noticed that a few of the women in the audience had responded to the call. Chris turned to Vin and they were both surprised as the suspect bolt out onto the stage. The agents couldn't draw their guns in the crowd and Chris was sure he would get away when he heard the whip crack. Chris turned to see Vin snake the whip in the suspect's direction and snare his legs. He pulled hard and the suspect went down. Vin quickly hog-tied him like he was at a rodeo and stepped back. The women thought it was part of the show and went wild cheering. Chris jumped on the stage and helped Vin carry him to the waiting agents backstage. The head of the bust clapped Chris and Vin on the shoulders and they moved out with the prisoner. Chris smiled at Vin and was about to say something when Vin held up his hand.

"Don't ever expect me to do this again, cowboy," Vin said and walked back to the dressing room.

Chris smiled and followed him. Nathan, Buck and a few other agents were inside cuffing some of the other dancers. Vin quickly grabbed his jeans and T-shirt and headed for the bathroom.

"He makes a cute Zorro doesn't him?" Buck laughed.

"Better not let Vin hear you commenting on it," Chris said. "He might blow your head off."

Vin came out and walked over to them. They helped get everyone into the FBI vans and waited until Josiah, Ezra and JD joined them. When JD came out he just started laughing and teasing Buck about his sailor routine. Buck growled and caught JD around the neck and rubbed a knuckle hard into his head. Chris congratulated them on a job well done and said he'd see them in the morning. They all headed for their respective vehicles and headed home.

+ + + + + + +

The next morning Chris pulled into the garage and wasn't surprised to find Vin already there. He was sitting on his Harley petting Cuervo. Chris pulled into the spot next to him and got out.

"Mornin' cowboy."


Chris reached over and pet the cat. Cuervo meowed and rubbed his hand. Josiah, Nathan and Buck pulled in next and parked. JD was in Buck's truck and they got out arguing about a song. Chris shook his head and Vin just smiled. Ezra was the last to pull in and they waited for him before they headed up. They got in the elevator and headed for the 11th floor. They weren't expecting the reception they got. Some of the female FBI agents were waiting for them as they got off the elevator. One had Nathan's stethoscope. Another had Buck's sailor hat and another had Vin's Zorro hat.

"Hello, boys," they called.

Chris could see Vin was blushing and was looking for a way to escape. Buck came out of the elevator laughing and hugged some of them. A few of them grabbed Ezra and showed him his green bow tie. Vin tried to hide in the elevator but Chris grabbed his arm and practically dragged him out. Once out Vin stayed close to Chris practically hiding behind him. Buck winked at Vin and kept the ladies distracted as Vin made his escape to the office. He opened the door and disappeared inside. Suddenly they heard him yell.


He was dragged out of the office by a few of the women who were waiting for him there. They held on to him as they went back over to the group. The women grabbed them and walked them to the large conference room on the floor. Inside was breakfast for everyone.

"Nice," Buck said.

"It's our way of saying thanks," said one of the agents.

Chris knew Vin was hating this but was surprised when he saw Vin sitting talking with some of the women. He knew Chris was watching him and looked up.

"If you can't beat 'em join them," he said with a shrug and Chris laughed