The Dark Road Home

Chapter One: The Journey Begins

Victoria Watson and her brother Nicholas had only been in Four Corners for four days and Vicky was already in the habit of sitting on one of the benches outside the saloon doors every morning with a cup of coffee. The first change she had made when she arrived in the town and realized she and Nicholas were the new owners of not only the hotel, but the adjoining restaurant and the saloon, was to change the saloon's opening time from 8:00 in the morning to noon. The staff was happy with the change but the evening bartender, Bert, warned Vicky that some regulars wouldn't be happy. "Those seven - Larabee and the others - will have something to say.

"The saloon's like their headquarters."

On her fourth morning in town, at about 9:30, Vicky was sitting on a bench watching people bustling around, when seven men rode in, in a cloud of dust. Vicky watched as they went to the livery at the far end of the main street and took their horses inside. About twenty minutes later, the first of the seven came out of the livery and strode up the boardwalk. The man, dressed head to toe in black, was purposeful in his stride as he headed in Vicky's direction. When he reached the saloon he walked past Vicky without looking at her and stopped short, almost bumping into the swinging doors, before he realized the inside doors were closed. He pushed one of the doors and when it didn't move, he took two steps backwards and looked up, then moved over to a window and peered inside. Then he took another step backwards and seemed to suddenly notice Vicky sitting on the bench, looking into her coffee cup.

"The saloon's closed."

"I know."

"Why is the saloon closed?"

"The saloon opens at noon."

"What the hell are you talking about? The saloon opens at 8:00."

"Not anymore. It opens at noon."

"Who decided that?"

"The new owner."

"What new owner?"

Just then, two more men arrived from the livery. One of them was very tall and the first thing Vicky noticed about him was his scruffy mustache. The second man was wearing a long buckskin jacket and had long hair. Vicky had seen other men like him on her trip across the country - men who earned their keep hunting animals or people for money.

"What's going on?"

The tall man looked at the man in black and gestured towards the saloon. The man in black spoke without taking his gaze off Vicky. "The saloon has a new owner who decided not to open until noon." "What? Who's this new owner? Let's get him out here and explain how things work around here."

Vicky stood up and moved closer to the man in black. In a brief moment, she saw in his eyes that he was a man used to getting his way. But Vicky had decided as soon as she arrived in Four Corners that she was going to have to stand up to all the challenges in her new home if she was going to survive. Except for that one night in Texas, her height had always been an advantage and she stood now, close to the man in black, holding his gaze, almost able to look directly into his eyes.

"I'm the new owner. The saloon opens at noon. If you'd like something to eat, the kitchen is open. If you come back at noon, we'll be happy to give you something to drink in the saloon." She stepped back, turned and walked towards the front doors of the hotel. She went inside without looking back and went to the front desk, where the clerk was sorting messages and mail. "James, can you see the three men outside on the walk?"

"Yes, miss, that's Chris Larabee, Buck Wilmington and Vin Tanner. "

"They don't look too happy. Is there some kind of trouble out there?"

"Not anymore. Is my brother in his office?"

"I believe so, yes, miss."

Vicky went behind the front counter to the hotel manager's office. When Nicholas didn't have to interact with a lot of people he was able to function normally. He had trained as a bookkeeper and he enjoyed the work. He was busy going over historical records and had already identified some changes that could be made to improve the way the hotel did business, changes that were likely to cause much less consternation than Vicky's one change was already causing. Nicholas looked up and smiled when his sister entered the office. Whenever she saw him this way, Vicky wondered how two completely different personalities could live inside one body, neither aware of the existence of the other.

"Vicky! Been out watching the town again?" "Yes, it's a beautiful day. I met some of those men Mrs. Travis told us about. They seem eager to give us some of their money." "That's good! If the people who run the town come to us, others will come as well."

"I think that helps. Did you have breakfast this morning?"

"I had some coffee."

"You need to eat. If you faint from hunger you won't be able to work. If I have the kitchen bring you something, will you eat it?" "I promise."

Vicky walked across the lobby, through the adjoining doorway, into the kitchen, which was nearing the end of the morning rush. Mrs. Eddington had been cooking here since it opened and made every meal as if she was cooking for a member of her own family. She worked hard and enjoyed what she did. She was good for business because she was always glad to see everyone who came in. Vicky was happy to leave Mrs. Eddington alone to run the kitchen. She knew what she was doing, much more so than Vicky.

"Hello, again, Miss Vicky. You're not hungry again already, are you?"

"Mrs. Eddington, you always feed me very well. Actually, I'm here to ask you to put a plate together for my brother. If I didn't remind him, he'd never remember to eat!" "I'll do it right away. I take it he's in his office." "Yes, he is. Thank you, Mrs. Eddington. Oh, if you need supplies, I'm going to send an order this afternoon." Vicky went back through the hotel lobby to the adjoining door on the other side. She unlocked it, went through into the saloon, and locked the door again after her. She looked out the corner of her eye and saw that the three men were gone. She walked behind the bar, where Henry, the daytime bartender was taking stock. He looked up when Vicky arrived.

"I'm just about done here, miss. We're gonna need an order pretty soon."

"I'm going to send the order this afternoon, Henry. That way, it should be here next week. I'll be in the office when you're done."

Vicky went into her office and sat down behind the desk. She had work to do but she sat for a few minutes, thinking about her encounter with the men in front of the saloon. The man in black, she assumed, was Chris Larabee. The look in his eyes had been haunted but Vicky hadn't felt afraid of him. Mary Travis had told her Larabee had suffered a personal tragedy that she, Mary, knew about only vaguely. Apparently he had lost his family but was secretive about the circumstances. He got mad at people who pried, including Mary Travis, and could be very unpleasant when he was mad. Vicky wondered if she would be the recipient of some of that unpleasantness. She didn't intend to change her policy about opening the saloon later in the day, but she realized she would need the support of Larabee and his friends to help deal with the inevitable problems that occur in every saloon. She sat and pondered her predicament for a while and then got busy with her paperwork. Just before 11:00, Henry brought in the inventory and Vicky went first to the kitchen to get Mrs. Eddington's order, and then to the telegraph office to send her order to the supplier. Because it was her first order she waited in the telegraph office until she got a reply, confirming the delivery date. By that time, it was close to noon and she made her way back to the saloon before it opened. She wasn't sure what to expect from Larabee and his friends and she didn't want her staff to have to deal with them if they decided to cause trouble. Only a couple of minutes past noon, people started coming into the saloon. Most regular customers had grumbled on the first day but, realizing there was no where else to go, had accepted the new policy and adapted. Vicky wondered if the town's seven protectors would adapt as well as everyone else had.

It wasn't until nearly 12:30 that the tall man with the bushy moustache came in, with another, younger man. Vicky recognized by the younger man's clothes that he was from somewhere in the east. The taller man talked almost non-stop and the younger man listened and occasionally nodded in agreement. The two men went to a table in the farthest corner of the saloon.

By 1:00, the table was full: seven men, seemingly very different from one another, but all talking, joking, arguing. Vicky recognized it as camaraderie unique to men who probably face death together on a regular basis and find themselves bonded together in spite of their differences. Vicky stood in the shadows at the other side of the saloon, watching the men. One of them was dressed like the gamblers Vicky had met in New York and especially in the saloons she had been in during her trip west with Nicholas. He played absentmindedly with a deck of cards and Vicky knew the man was a professional. She would have to get to know this man better before she began expanding the gaming facilities in the saloon. There was another man, older than the others were, who wore a cross around his neck. He wore clothing that was a combination of several cultures. There was a black man who was at ease in the company of the white men. Vicky had seen other coloreds in town, but they tended to keep to themselves. This was the first time Vicky had seen one of them treated equally with the whites.

Larabee sat at the table like a ruler surrounded by his supporters. Even at rest he had an air about him, of action and danger. He seemed to be wound tightly, ready to spring. After watching him for a while, Vicky took a deep breath and walked over to his table. As she approached, people stopped talking and watched her, not only at Larabee's table, but everywhere in the saloon. She stopped beside Larabee's chair and spoke so that only the people sitting closest to him could hear her.

"Mr. Larabee, could I speak to you in private, please?" Larabee looked up at her for what seemed to her to be a long time then, without a word, he pushed himself away from the table and stood up. Vicky turned around and made her way through the tables, behind the bar, to her living quarters in the back. She didn't turn around and hoped Larabee was following. When she got into her sitting room, she turned around and Larabee was standing in the doorway. "Come in, please."

He took two steps forward and Vicky walked around him and closed the door. Then she went back and stood in front of him. "My name is Victoria Watson. We got off to a bad start today and I apologize for that. I didn't intend to cause problems for you or anyone else. I made a business decision and I believe it's the right decision. I understand that you enjoy a position of some esteem and authority in this town and I can't run my business without your support."

"Where the hell did you come from?"

"New York City. My father owned a hotel and my brother and I worked there. When my mother died, my father decided we needed a new start. He saw an advertisement for this hotel and he bought it."

"Where's your father?"

"He died travelling across the country. My brother and I could have turned around and gone back but it was my father's dream to come west, so we did."

"What about your brother? Running a saloon isn't a job for a woman. Especially one as young as you."

"I am young, but I'm not inexperienced. My brother is a bookkeeper. He likes books and numbers, he's not so good with people. You have to like people to run a saloon. I know what I'm doing and I'm good at it. I have a head for business and I understand people." "You're not short on confidence."

"This isn't a business for the timid."

"What about opening the saloon later?"

"I looked at the books, what it costs to keep the place open. You might have taken advantage of the earlier hours, but I'm sure you noticed not many others did. The saloon was losing money being open for those four hours with only you and your friends here. Now you'll have a chance to catch up on your sleep and have a good breakfast and do whatever a protector of good and fighter of evil does." "I'd rather have a drink."

"I can't afford you, Mr. Larabee."

"Then I guess you made the right decision."

"I think so."

Larabee turned around and opened the door. He stopped in the doorway and turned back to Vicky.

"My name is Chris."

Then he was gone. Vicky stood for a few seconds and then sighed with relief. Then he was gone. Vicky stood for a few seconds and then sighed with relief. She went back out to the saloon and noticed the noise level was back t to the saloon and noticed the noise level was back to normal. She went behind the bar and selected a bottle of her best, most expensive whiskey. She put seven glasses on a tray and called Henry.

"Will you take this to Mr. Larabee's table, please. It's on the house."

Henry took the bottle and the tray of glasses to the men's table and spoke briefly to Larabee. After pouring a drink for each person at the table, Larabee looked across the saloon to where Vicky was standing and raised his glass in a silent toast to her. She nodded in acknowledgement and then went into the hotel to make sure Nicholas had eaten his lunch.

Chapter Two: Making Friends

Vicky got up just before 7:00 the next morning. She washed and dressed and made a pot of coffee on the small stove in the corner of her sitting room. While the coffee was perking, she walked out into the saloon. The two local women who cleaned the saloon were already busy, washing the glasses from the night before, cleaning the tables, and wiping everything down. Vicky walked over to one of the front windows and looked out at the street. She was surprised to see Chris Larabee sitting on one of the benches beside the front doors. She shook her head, went back to her sitting room, and poured coffee into two large mugs. Then she went outside and sat down beside Larabee. She handed him a mug and he took it from her without speaking.

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty, Mr. Larabee?"

"Chris."

"I'll call you Chris if you call me Vicky." "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, Vicky. I was up, so I came out here to enjoy the morning. Isn't that what you wanted me to do?" "I guess so."

They sat on the bench together, drinking their coffee and watching the town wake up. Vicky felt comfortable sitting with him in silence, and knew he wouldn't hold their bad start from the day before against her. When he finished his coffee, Chris handed his mug to Vicky and stood up.

"Well, I guess I'll go and protect good and fight evil. See you later, Vicky."

With that, he walked off down the boardwalk. Vicky got another cup of coffee and sat for a while longer. Then she went into the kitchen and had breakfast.

The next morning Chris was back on the bench, this time with the man in the buckskin jacket. Vicky took the coffeepot and three mugs outside with her. When she handed Chris his coffee, he introduced her to his companion.

"Vicky, this is Vin Tanner. Victoria Watson."

"Vicky."

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am. Sorry if we caused you any trouble the other morning."

"You didn't cause me any trouble, Mr. Tanner. Would you like some coffee?"

"Thank you. You done this kinda work before, runnin' a saloon?" "My father owned a hotel in New York City. My brother and I learned that business. My brother is running the hotel here now. We had a gambling casino in our hotel and I learned a lot about that." "Your pa didn't come with you?"

"He started out with us, but he died."

"If you know about gamblin', you might wanna get to know Ezra."

"Is he the gentleman who looks like he belongs on a river boat?"

"That'd be Ezra."

"I intend to get to know him. I think we can do some business together."

"Just so you know, Ezra's main interest is what's gonna make him some money."

"There's nothing wrong with looking after yourself."

Chris spoke then for the first time in the conversation. "You're pretty sure of yourself, considering you've never done this kind of work before."

"To tell you the truth, I'm scared to death, but what's that going to get me, except a lot of trouble? I learned very soon after my father died that this country will kill you if you don't take control of it. I'm not planning on dying anytime soon." "Well, if you do have any trouble, ma'am, you be sure to let us know."

"Thank you, Mr. Tanner. I hope I don't have to take you up on that."

By the end of the week, all seven men were sitting out on the benches, drinking coffee in the morning with Vicky. When they were at ease and enjoying the peace and each other's company, the men were charming and likeable. Vicky enjoyed the time she spent with them and found her initial trepidation's - being so far from home, running a business she had little experience with, in a part of the country that was mostly untamed - were quickly dissolving. In the middle of the second week on the benches, one of the men finally mentioned Nicholas. Josiah Sanchez, the former preacher, asked why none of them had yet seen Vicky's brother. She chose her words carefully and knew the men would probably figure out she was telling them only part of the truth.

"Nicholas has trouble dealing with people. He likes looking after the books. He's good at it and he's happy being able to help run the business without having to deal with a lot of people."

Chapter Three: The Future Begins

The last of the seven to get up early enough to have coffee in the morning was the gambler, Ezra Standish. Vicky watched him every night in the saloon. He was very serious about his business but he was always the most charming man in the room. Vicky could see in his eyes that he knew he was playing a dangerous game that could get him killed as easily as it could win him a lot of money. Everything he did at the poker table was calculated to keep his risks - personal and professional - to a minimum. One afternoon, just after the saloon opened, Ezra came in by himself. None of the others was there yet and he made his way to the bar to order a drink. Vicky had been waiting for him and when he put his money down on the bar, she picked it up and handed it back to him.

"Mr. Standish, could I have a few minutes of your time?"

"I'm always happy to be able to spend time with a beautiful lady."

"Sit here, please. I have a business proposition for you." Ezra didn't say anything but he leaned forward. Vicky knew he'd at least hear her out, even if he didn't ultimately accept the offer she was going to make.

"I've watched a lot of people gamble during the past few years. I've learned about the different types of people who gamble - people who are trying to make some quick cash, people who do it for the excitement, people who are addicted to it, people who think they can beat the odds. I've also seen a lot of people trying to pull a con, some people who are just out and out cheats. I've been watching you and watching how you handle people. I think you could be very nasty in the right circumstances but I know you've found that charm is much more effective. I don't know if it comes naturally to you but it serves you well."

"Is all of this leading somewhere, Miss Watson, or are you just an amateur psychiatrist?"

"I'm coming to my point. I want to expand the gambling facilities here. There's money to be made from gambling, not just for the players, but for the proprietor as well. I have a lot to do, running the saloon and helping my brother with the hotel and the restaurant. I don't have time to watch over a gaming room at the same time."

"And how does that concern me?"

"I don't know if you're familiar with the theater, Mr. Standish, but each theater has a general manager who makes sure the whole operation runs smoothly. That's me. There is also a front of house manager, who looks after what happens in the part of the theater the public sees. I think that person should be you."

"I understand how that would benefit you, but what's in it for me?"

"Money, for a start. I'll give you a cut of the profits."

"Well, you have my attention now, Miss Watson. Please continue." "You can continue to play cards, if you want to. That's up to you and it has nothing to do with what I want you to do for me. You make sure the people I hire are honest, you deal with the cheaters, and you help me make sure I'm making as much money as I can because the more I make, the more you'll make."

"How much money are we talking about?" "I've give you ten percent of the profits to start. If we do well, I'll give you more."

"And you don't want anything from me? An investment of some sort?" "You just have to be here. You are the most of the time, anyway. I understand that you have other obligations to the town, but we can work around that."

"Why me?"

"I trust you."

"You don't know me. How can you trust me?" "Six very dangerous men in this town trust you. That's good enough for me. I'm good at reading people, Mr. Standish, and I know you're the person for this job."

"Well, Miss Watson, your offer is very interesting. You've got a deal. But if we're going to be partners, you really should call me Ezra."

"I will, if you call me Vicky."

"If you don't mind, I spent some time in New Orleans and there was a woman there who called herself Vicky. She was every vile thing the word whore is meant to convey. She had no class, she lied and stole, and she hardly ever bathed. I could not possibly call you Vicky. You're too beautiful and you have too much class. But I will call you Victoria."

"Thank you for the compliment."

"It wasn't meant as a compliment. I was merely stating the obvious."

"Well, thank you."

"So, partner, what's our first step?"

Time passed quickly in Four Corners and it seemed almost suddenly that the Watsons had been in the town for three months. Vicky managed to get Nicholas out of his office occasionally and he became familiar with the town and some of its residents. He was intimidated by the seven protectors and avoided them as much as possible. Vicky didn't push him to socialize with anyone he didn't want to see because she wanted his life to be as stress free as possible. As long as he could stay calm, she didn't worry about her own safety. Ezra took to his new duties with enthusiasm. He helped Vicky order equipment and together they reviewed a list of potential casino workers. They decided to start slowly and hired two people with a number of years of experience. For several weeks before the casino opened, Vicky sent advertisements to newspapers all over the surrounding area, and she blanketed Four Corners with notices. Even Mary Travis, in spite of her opposition to gambling on general principle, accepted Vicky's money and printed her advertisement.

Vicky and Ezra were a good team. They worked well together and complemented each other's strengths and weaknesses. As Vicky had expected, Ezra was ruthless in spotting cheaters and dispatched them with as much charm or force as he needed to use. From time to time he disappeared with some or all of his six companions. Sometimes he told her about their activities and sometimes he kept the details to himself. Vicky never pried because he was doing the job for her that she had asked him to do, and because she had come to consider him a friend and she wanted to preserve the friendship, as well as the partnership. Ezra's interests gradually expanded from the casino to the whole saloon, and it wasn't long before he knew as much about the whole business as Vicky, and she never worried about being out of the saloon, as long as Ezra was there.

Chapter Four: Vicky's Ugly Secret

At the end of July, five months after they'd arrived in Four Corners, after a week of almost unbearably hot weather, Nicholas started complaining about headaches. It was the first time since they'd arrived in Four Corners that he'd had the headaches and Vicky started watching him.

One evening, after a couple of saloon patrons became particularly boisterous and ended up in the jail, Vicky got some food from the kitchen and took it to JD and his prisoners. She visited with the young sheriff for a while and then headed back to the saloon. It was a warm night and she was looking up at the stars as she walked along the boardwalk. She wasn't paying attention to exactly where she was in the street and without warning, she was hit in the middle of her back and knocked face-first into the side of a building. She tried to stand up and turn around but she was hit across her face and thrown to the ground. She put her arms up to cover her face and was kicked twice in the ribs, hard enough to knock the breath out of her. She started losing consciousness and just before she passed out, she heard her attacker say, "You're afraid of me, aren't you Vicky? You should be. If you're not careful, I'll kill you."

When Vicky regained consciousness she lay on the ground for a few minutes, trying to catch her breath and clear her head. She could hear voices somewhere nearby and she managed to stand up. She staggered and fell against the building and cried out from the pain in her rib cage. Then she heard two voices she recognized. "Vicky! Vin, it's Vicky! She's hurt bad."

"I got her. Let's get her to the infirmary." Vin carried Vicky the short distance to Nathan's infirmary and laid her down on the examination table, then left the room. Nathan cleaned the blood off her face and bandaged her forehead. Then he asked her where else she was hurt.

"My ribs and my back."

"Can you sit up so I can check you? I'm sorry, I'll have to open your shirt."

He helped Vicky with the buttons and then went behind her. When Vicky took her shirt off, he caught his breath. "This didn't just happen, did it?"

"You've seen those marks before, Nathan. You know they're not new."

"Who did this to you?"

"That's not your business, Nathan. If you have to wrap up my ribs, please do so. If not, please let me go."

"I can't pretend I didn't see these scars."

"Nathan, this is my problem and I'll deal with it. And I expect you to honor the doctor-patient confidentiality." "I will, but I don't like it."

"Are they broken?"

"I don't think so. I think they're just bruised. I'll wrap ‘em up and you take it easy for a few days."

Nathan taped Vicky's ribs and she was just buttoning up her shirt when the door banged open and Chris charged in, with Vin behind him. "What happened?"

"She got beat up pretty bad."

"I can see that. Who the hell did this to you?"

"It was dark. I didn't see his face."

"Vin, get the others. We'll start looking."

"You're wasting your time. He's probably long gone by now."

"Are you telling me how to do my job?"

"I'm not telling you anything. Do what you think you have to do, Chris."

"How is she, Nathan?"

"She's got bruised ribs and a nasty cut on her head. And she's gonna have a fat lip and a black eye by tomorrow. She'll be sore for a few days, but she'll be alright."

"Take her home and make sure she stays there." Nathan helped Vicky down from the table and they walked to the back of the saloon, where the door went directly into Vicky's sitting room. Nathan stood awkwardly in the doorway until Vicky pointed to the settee and he sat down.

"I need a drink. I hope that's alright with you, doctor."

"Go ahead."

"Do you want one?"

"No thank you."

Vicky poured herself a drink and sat down gingerly beside Nathan.

"Vicky, you know who did this, don't you?"

"Nathan..."

"Was it your brother?"

Vicky wondered if Chris and Vin had also guessed her secret, or if Nathan had just figured it out because of the scars on her back. She realized there was no point lying to him.

"Nicholas has demons in his head. He's had them most of his life. Most of the time he's fine. You've met him. He's uncomfortable around people because my mother always sheltered him and protected him. When I was about five, Nicholas started having fits and he'd go crazy for ten or fifteen minutes and get really violent and then, all of a sudden, it would be over and he wouldn't remember what he'd done. For some reason, he takes it out on me. I don't know why. "I've spent my whole life trying to figure out what sets him off. He always gets a headache just before it happens, but I don't know what causes the headaches."

"Can't you take him to see somebody, like a real doctor?"

"He wouldn't go. Why would he? He doesn't remember what he does."

"How can you live that way, always scared?"

"What choice do I have?"

"Well, I don't like it. It's not right, a man beatin' on a woman like that."

"It's not right for anyone to be beaten. It probably happened to you more than once for no particular reason. I'm sorry Nathan, that's not my business. I shouldn't have said that." "It did happen to me, but I was never beat by my own kin." "Please don't say anything about this, Nathan. I've been dealing with this most of my life and I'll deal with it now." "I won't say anything this time, but I can't promise anything if it happens again. And you have to promise to take it easy for a couple of days. You got folks to take care of your business, let them do it."

"Alright, doctor, I promise. I think I'm going to go to bed now."

"You need some help?"

"No, I'm alright. Thank you, Nathan. I appreciate what you've done. Everything you've done."

Vicky poured herself another drink and drank it while she got undressed. She winced when she pulled her nightgown over her head and stretched her rib cage. She sat on the edge of the bed for a minute until the pain subsided, and then she put out the lights around the room and got into bed. She had trouble getting comfortable but she was so tired that she finally fell asleep in spite of the pain.

Vicky was still asleep the next morning when there was a knock on her door. It took her a few seconds to realize where she was and what was happening and then she pulled herself out of bed, put on her dressing gown, and went out to answer the door. Buck was on the other side of the door with a bunch of flowers in his hand and his most ingratiating grin on his face.

"It's just not the same, sittin' on the bench without you." "You better come in before the person you stole those flowers from sees you."

"How about a cup of coffee?"

"Are you going to make it?"

"I keep hearin' how bad my coffee is, but since Nathan says you're not supposed to do anything, JD's gone to get a pot from Mrs. Eddington."

"We're in good hands, then."

She took the flowers from Buck and went to the side board to put them in a vase. She knew Buck was standing behind her, watching her.

"You can sit down, you know."

"I'm worried about you, girl."

"What are you worried about, Buck?"

"That the fella you're protecting is gonna come after you again."

"Why would I protect somebody who beat me up?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

Just in time, JD arrived at the door carrying a tray with a coffee pot and several cups.

"I told Mrs. Eddington you were under the weather. I hope that's alright."

"That's good, JD, thank you. Put that down over here. What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. It's just that you look so bad."

Buck groaned. "JD, you really know how to sweet talk a lady!"

"What?"

"It's alright. I know how bad I look. Neither of you has to pretend otherwise."

"Do you have any idea who it was?"

"It was dark, JD, I didn't see his face."

"It must have been one of those gamblers that come in to town."

"He's probably long gone by now."

"I just feel real bad cause I'm supposed to be the sheriff and I don't know what to do."

"What you can do is pour me a cup of coffee and stop worrying about it."

For a second, Buck caught her eye. In spite of his charm, Vicky knew he had a mean streak and she could see it in his eyes now. He didn't day anything and she turned her head away and watched JD pour her coffee. Within half an hour, the other five had arrived. Vicky trusted Nathan not to say anything, but she wondered how much the others had figured out. After about an hour, Nathan stood up. "I think you all need to leave so I can check Vicky's bandages." Nathan re-wrapped the bandages around Vicky's ribs and replaced the one on her head. He worked without a word and it wasn't until he was finished that he spoke.

"I went to tell your brother that you were feelin' poorly. He acted like it never happened."

"I told you, Nathan, it lasts for a few minutes and he doesn't remember anything afterwards."

"How could somebody be that mean and not remember it?" "I don't know, Nathan. It's like he's two different people and one doesn't know the other one exists."

"Well, I never heard of nothin' like that."

"Thank you for not saying anything."

"You're healin' okay. A couple more days, you should be back to normal. With that eye and that lip, you might wanna stay inside and folks won't be talkin'. One of us'll bring you somethin' to eat later on."

"Alright, Nathan. I'll take your advice and stay put."

After three days, Vicky was presentable enough to go out in public.

The first place she went was to see Nicholas.

"Vicky, are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I am. How have you been the past few days?" "I felt quite tired for a couple of days. I guess I wasn't sleeping very well, but I'm back to normal now."

"Do you want to come for a walk with me? Just to keep me company." "Well, as long as we're not gone too long. I've got a lot of work to do."

"Just a short walk. Then we can get something to eat. You have to eat."

They walked down to the end of the street and then crossed over and came back up the other side. They had lunch and then Nicholas went back to his office. Vicky went into the saloon and sat down with Chris and Vin. Ezra was playing poker with four men and was apparently doing well. He had been looking after the saloon while she recovered and from all accounts, he had done a good job. Chris poured her a drink and she downed it in one swallow. "I feel wrung out, like an old rag."

"Not surprisin'," Vin said, "considerin' what you been through.

It'll take you a while before you're back to your old self."

"Maybe I need a new self."

"Whadda ya mean?"

"I've been sitting inside for four days. I was just getting a little cabin fever, I guess."

"You might want to stay inside a little bit more than before", Chris said. "The man who attacked you might still be around here." "You think he'd stay around?"

"Well, you said you didn't see who it was, so it doesn't seem like he's got anything to worry about."

"Not very comforting, is it?"

"No, it's not."

Vicky thought to herself, "He knows that I know who did it." She realized these men stayed alive by staying ahead of people who didn't have their best interests at heart. They paid attention to everything going on around them and noticed details nobody else saw. She knew it wouldn't be long before one of them guessed her secret.

Chapter Five: The Truth is Told

Summer gradually gave way to fall and the nights got longer and cooler. The morning coffee party moved into Vicky's sitting room and she was finally feeling that Four Corners could be home and she would be happy to stay there. As the days got shorter, Nicholas started getting short-tempered about things that hadn't bothered him in the warmer weather. Vicky watched him cautiously and almost unconsciously started staying inside more, or she went to places where there were always people around. Most of the time, that meant the saloon. One night while she was helping behind the bar, she noticed Ezra standing at the edge of the casino area, watching her. After a couple of minutes, she went over and stood beside him.

"What's wrong?"

"I could ask you the same thing. You've been on edge for days."

"You're imagining things."

"In my business, imagining things could get me killed."

"Well, I'm not planning to kill you. I like you." "Thank you very much. The feeling is mutual. But you didn't answer my question."

"Yes, I did."

A week later, at the end of a busy night in the saloon, Vicky and Ezra put the day's earnings in the safe, had a drink together, and Ezra went to his room in the boarding house across the street. Vicky locked the front doors behind him and turned the lights out as she made her way back to her rooms. She got undressed and put her nightgown on. Then she washed her face and sat down at her dressing table and brushed her hair. Finally, she turned out the lights and got into bed. Before long, she was sleeping soundly. She was jolted awake a couple of hours later by the sound of Nicholas's voice. He was outside in the street, screaming for her and calling her hateful names she had heard from him in the past during the worst of his spells. Vicky knew, without even thinking about it, that this time was not going to be like any of the others. She suddenly felt like she was outside her body, watching herself from the sidelines. She got out of bed and pulled on her dressing gown. On her way outside she stopped at the sideboard and took a revolver out of a drawer. She had put it there when she first moved in, and had forgotten about it. She knew it was loaded. She felt an eerie sense of purpose as she went outside and walked, in bare feet, to the front street. She wasn't afraid, but she knew this night would not end like any of the other nights when Nicholas's demons had paid him a visit. When she reached the middle of the street, Vicky turned towards Nicholas. He was still screaming, almost as if he was in unbearable pain. "Nicholas! Nicholas, it's me. It's Vicky, Nicholas. What can I do to help you? Tell me what to do, Nicholas." "You hate me, don't you Vicky? You've always hated me. I know it's true."

"I don't hate you Nicholas. You're my brother. I love you." "You're lying. You don't love me. You hate me. You don't want me here. If I wasn't here, you could have all the money. You could have a different man every night. You'd like that, wouldn't you, Vicky. You're just a whore."

"That's not true, Nicholas. You know it's not true. We don't have anybody else, Nicholas. All we have is each other. We have to stay together."

"What about that man in Texas? You gave yourself to him and you left me. You're a whore."

"He threatened to kill me, Nicholas. I had to go with him." "That's a lie. You wanted to go with him. You liked it. How many men have you been with here, Vicky? How many men, you whore?" "Nicholas, it's not true. Please, Nicholas, you know we have to look after each other."

"I don't want you to look after me. You abandoned me in a strange town and went with that man. I hate you! You don't deserve to live."

Nicholas had a gun in his hand and he raised it as he moved towards her. Vicky was aware, watching from outside her body as the scene played itself out, that a crowd had gathered. She also saw Vin and Chris aim their own guns at Nicholas when he raised his. "No! I'll take care of him."

"I don't want you to take care of me, Vicky. I want you to die." He was moving towards her and pulled the trigger. The bullet flew past Vicky's head, close enough that she could feel it, and lodged in the side of a building behind her. Suddenly, everything was moving in slow motion and Vicky raised her own gun and aimed it at Nicholas. As he started to pull the trigger again, Vicky fired. She found her mark, in the middle of his chest. He looked surprised as he stumbled, but he didn't stop. She shot him again and this time he stopped, dropped to his knees, then fell face first into the dirt.

When her gun fired the second time, Vicky was suddenly back inside her body and she was standing in the middle of the main street, looking at her brother, who was lying face down and motionless. Nathan was kneeling beside him. Chris came up silently behind her, gently put his right hand on her right shoulder, and took the gun out of her left hand. He spoke to her in a whisper. "Alright, Vicky. You're alright."

He looked at Nathan, who shook his head. Chris continued talking to Vicky.

"It's over now. He's not going to hurt you anymore." Vicky became aware of Ezra standing beside her. Chris slowly turned her so she was facing Ezra.

"Take her inside. We'll look after this."

Ezra put his arm around her and guided her back to her rooms.

"Come with me. I'll take care of you."

They went into Vicky's sitting room and she sat down. She felt she should say something, but she didn't know what, so she sat silently. Ezra poured a drink and sat down beside her.

"Drink this."

She did as she was told. When the glass was empty, she took a deep breath.

"Ezra..."

Suddenly, she started to shake and Ezra put his arms around her. "You're alright. It's over now. You don't have to worry about him anymore. He can't hurt you now."

After a couple of minutes, the shaking stopped.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. He tried to kill you. You were defending yourself."

"He didn't know what he was doing."

"I don't believe that. He didn't sound confused to me. He knew he wanted to kill you and he almost succeeded." "He was my brother. The only family I had left."

"He's better off now, and so are you."

Just then, Chris entered the room, followed shortly by the others.

Chris spoke to Ezra.

"Is she alright?"

"She will be."

"I'm sorry, Chris."

"For what? For killing a man who tried more than once to kill you?" "For lying to you. It happened for so many years and I just got used to lying to people."

"I understand what you did and why. I guess I'm sorry that you had to live like that. But he can't hurt you anymore." "He'll hurt me in the deepest part of my soul for the rest of my life."

"Wait a minute!" JD looked at Vicky, then at Chris, and back at Vicky. "You mean, your brother beat you up before? He was your brother!"

"Nicholas had demons in him that he couldn't control. He had terrible rages and took it out on me. It started when I was five years old and my mother wouldn't get him any help. She knew he'd end up in an asylum. We came west because my father thought it might help Nicholas. You knew, didn't you, Chris?" "I knew you knew who beat you up in the alley. I thought it might be him, but I figured you had a reason for not saying. I didn't know how bad it was. You should have told somebody." "I did." Vicky looked at Nathan, then back at Chris. "I spent my whole life hiding it. I couldn't suddenly just start talking about what a monster my brother was, when most of the time he wasn't."

JD was still confused. "Why did he act like that?" "He didn't do it on purpose, JD. It would just suddenly happen, and he didn't remember anything afterwards." Vicky looked around the room and sighed. "I'm sorry. You've all been so good to me and I repaid you by lying to you."

Josiah got up from his chair. "Vicky, you have nothing to be sorry about. You did what you believed you had to do. You made a personal sacrifice for your brother and nobody in this room blames you for that. Everybody probably wishes they could have done something to help you, and we'll do anything we can to help you now. You've been a good friend to all of us and, if I can speak for everyone, we'd like to continue to be your friends. That hasn't changed. If you'd like me to, I'll make the arrangements for the funeral."

"Thank you, Josiah. Would you say a few words? Everybody deserves something to send them wherever they go when they die." "I'll find something to say."

"I appreciate it, Josiah."

Nathan decided to take charge of the situation at that point. "Vicky, you've had a terrible shock tonight and you should get some sleep. Somebody should stay with you, though." "I'll stay." Ezra was still sitting beside her and he had a hand protectively on her arm. Everyone stood up and filed out. Chris was the last one to leave and he turned around and looked at the two on the settee.

"Behave yourself, Ezra."

"I am offended by your inference that I would be anything but a complete gentleman."

"Just look after her."

"Have no fear."

Ezra locked the door after Chris left and then he turned back to Vicky.

"You, my dear, need to get some sleep."

"It'll be morning soon."

"Don't you concern yourself with that. You sleep as long as you need to and allow your friends to help you." "I don't have the strength to argue. You're not going to sit beside my bed and watch me sleep, are you?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No, I don't. The settee's long enough for you to sleep on. There are blankets in this chest."

"Thank you. I may take you up on the offer. I'll be here if you need anything."

"What would I do without you, Ezra?"

"I hope you don't decide to find out."

He brushed the hair off her face and touched her cheek very lightly.

Then he took a step backwards.

"Sleep."

"Good night, Ezra."

Chapter Six: Facing the Past

When Vicky woke up, JD was sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed. When he saw she was awake, he jumped up out of the chair and backed up towards the doorway.

"I'm sorry, Vicky. Chris told me to stay with you and I'm not sure what he wanted me to do."

"It's alright, JD. I think he just wanted you to keep me company."

"Can I do anything for you?"

"What time is it?"

"It's after noon. Ezra went to make sure everything's alright in the saloon."

"I'm hungry, JD. Will you go and see Mrs. Eddington and get me something to eat? And something for you, too. I don't like to eat by myself."

"Sure. I'll go right now. I'll be right back." When JD left, Vicky washed and got dressed. She cleared off the table in the sitting room and was waiting with the door open when JD came back.

"Mrs. Eddington says, if there's anything she can do for you, let her know."

"Everyone is being so good to me and I don't deserve it."

"Yes you do! You're a nice person, Vicky. You're a good person.

You just defended yourself. Nobody can blame you for that."

"Let's eat, JD. I'm famished."

"I hope this is alright."

"It looks delicious. Sit down here and tell me what's happening in town, sheriff!"

"The undertaker's got some fellas digging the grave for your brother. Josiah says the service'll be tomorrow, it that's alright with you. Mrs. Travis wired the judge. She said she had no choice, but I don't think that's right. Nobody blames you for what happened."

"Mrs. Travis doesn't exactly approve of me, JD. Well, she doesn't approve of the saloon or gambling, so I guess she doesn't approve of me. She just did what she thought was the right thing to do." "Aren't you worried about what the judge will do?" "There's nothing I can do about it now, JD. I killed someone and whether it was justified or not, I have to face the consequences."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Ask me whatever you want, JD. I'm not going to keep any secrets now. What would you like to know?"

"Last night, Nicholas called you a whore. He said you were carrying on with men here. I don't believe that."

"He was mad. He just said whatever came to his mind. He was trying to hurt me."

"It isn't right that so much bad could happen to such a good person."

There was a knock on the door and JD, who was closest, got up and opened it up for Chris. Vicky smiled at him. "Is it time for the shift change?"

"Something like that. How are you feeling?"

"Like I had a bad dream last night and now I'm waiting to wake up."

"The bad dream lasted more than one night."

"JD and I are just finishing lunch. He's been very good company."

"I'll stay for a while, JD."

"Alright, I'll take this back to the kitchen. Do you want to keep the coffee pot?"

"Thank you, JD. Thank you for staying with me. And JD... you don't have to be afraid to come and see me. We can talk about anything you want. I don't mind."

"Thanks, Vicky. I'll see you later."

Chris took off his hat and jacket and poured himself a cup of coffee. "JD is discovering that the wild west isn't quite as glamorous as he thought."

"You should have seen him when he first got here. I almost killed him myself, he was so aggravating. He's a good kid, he's just young."

"Were you like that when you were his age?"

"I don't remember being his age. It was so long ago." Chris sat down in a chair across from Vicky, who had moved to the settee, and he looked at her for a few seconds before he spoke again. "Mary wired the judge. I wish she'd spoken to me first, but she didn't, so he's on his way."

"JD told me. It's alright. I'm ready to face the music. I feel like I've been hiding my whole life and now, for better or worse, I don't have to hide anymore. And I don't want to run away. I like it here. I feel like I have a home here. I've proven I can look after myself and run a business, and I've made some friends. I've met the judge. He's a fair, reasonable man. I just have to hope for the best."

"At least he's not as quick to judge people as Mary is." "To her credit, she knows I've brought new money to the town, so she hasn't completely shunned me."

"She should get to know you before she judges you. She can be pretty self-righteous sometimes."

"She likes you. She's afraid of you, but she's fascinated, too."

"She should get over it."

"Is that your answer? Don't let anybody get close, so you don't have to care about them and they can't hurt you?" He stood up and went to where his jacket was laying. He took something out of a pocket and came and sat beside Vicky. He handed her a photograph and sat back without a word. Vicky looked at a picture of Chris with a dark-haired woman and a young boy. Everyone was smiling and Vicky was surprised at how different Chris looked. "She's beautiful. Your son looks like you." "We were at a fair. Sarah wanted a picture to remember the day. It seems so long ago."

He was quiet for a few seconds and then he started talking, almost as if Vicky wasn't there.

"We raised horses and sold them to ranchers in the area. This one time, a rancher in Mexico bought some and Buck and I took them down. We were supposed to come back right away but Buck met a lady and wanted to stay a while longer, so we stayed an extra day. When we got back, my house was burned to the ground and Sarah and Adam were dead. I've been trying to find out who did it ever since. It was like you said last night, someone burned a hole in my soul and I don't know if it'll ever heal."

"What if it was an accident? What if someone didn't kill them, if there was just an accident, a lamp fell over or something?" "That would be worse. If I was there and somebody attacked, maybe I'd be dead too and there's nothing I could have done to save them. But if it was an accident, I could have saved them. It couldn't have been an accident."

"Because you can drive yourself on anger longer than on grief?"

"Because I need something to get me from one day to the next." "You have a lot of reasons to keep going, Chris. Maybe you can't see it, or you're not ready to see it, but you have friends who care about you and would like to help you, if you'd let them. At some point you have to let people back into your life. Not just tolerating them, but letting them be part of your life when you're happy and when you're sad. I know I'm not the best person to be giving you advice, but I know how hard it is to get along without anyone. You can't be so afraid of life that you stop living." While she was talking, Chris was holding the photograph and Vicky had put her arm around his shoulders. He didn't pull away from her and actually leaned against her. They sat for a few minutes and then Chris wiped his eyes and sat up straight.

"I'm supposed to be here to help you. I just figured you'd understand."

"I do understand, Chris. I'm sorry you lost your dream. I understand your despair and I know how lonely you feel. You need to talk as much as I do. Keeping it all locked up inside just makes the pain worse. I know I have a lot of problems that I have to sort out, but I'm a good listener and I won't judge you, if you ever want to come and talk. Or even just come and sit, if you don't feel like talking but you need to be someplace where people aren't expecting you to solve their problems for them."

"I might just take you up on that."

"I hope you will. I think we need something stronger to drink than coffee."

Vicky poured each of them a large drink. Chris drank his in one swallow and she poured him another. They sat down again and Vicky changed the subject.

"JD said the undertaker's getting the grave ready. Josiah's going to have some trouble finding something to say." "If anybody can do it, Josiah can."

"Do you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to go for a walk. I'm tired of sitting in here. I'm sure the whole town is talking about me, so there's no point in hiding away."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Alright, let's go. I could use some air, too." They went out to the main street and walked from one end to the other, crossed the street, and went up the other side. As Vicky had expected, her presence on the street caused a stir and people stopped to watch her and chatter among themselves. She and Chris made their way around the main part of the town and ended up at the saloon, where they decided to go in for a drink. Inside, Ezra was busy behind the bar with Henry, but when he saw Chris and Vicky come in, he joined them at their table, along with Vin and Buck. "I hope you don't mind, my dear. I have a vested interest in the success of this establishment, so we opened for business as usual." "Why would I mind? The whole town doesn't have to stop because I have a problem. And you know as much about running this place as I do. You could run the whole thing without me and nobody would notice."

"I hope you're not planning on giving me that opportunity, as much as I agree with your assessment."

"I'm not planning on going anywhere, but Judge Travis might have something different to say about it."

"That man could not possibly contemplate punishing you for what happened. If anything, he should congratulate you for not taking action sooner."

"I killed someone, Ezra. Whether you think I had a good reason or not, that's what happened, and I have to accept whatever the judge decides."

"You're much too calm about this."

"I'm not calm. I'm scared to death. But I'm tired of hiding and lying. I just want this to be over. Whatever the judge decides, at least I'll be able to get on with my life."

"Or not." Buck spoke quietly, almost to himself.

"That's a possibility. People hang for killing other people."

"Murderers hang."

"Then it depends on the judge's interpretation. You people are too gloomy for me. I have some things to take care of, and I don't need a babysitter."

Vicky left the four men and went back to her rooms. She spent the rest of the afternoon writing out her will and making provisions for all the people who worked for her. It wasn't pleasant work, but she felt better when it was done. Everyone had been loyal to her and she wanted to make sure their hard work and dedication were recognized and rewarded, in case Judge Travis's decision was not in her favor. She also wanted Ezra to have the opportunity to own and run the saloon, if he chose to do so. She knew Four Corners wasn't his first choice, but she also knew he wanted to have his own saloon and he might decide it was worth staying to have that opportunity. After she finished her work, Vicky realized she was hungry, but she didn't feel like facing Mrs. Eddington's doting just then, so she went into the saloon. The first person she saw was Vin, who was standing at the bar, and she went over to him. "I'll buy you a drink if you do me a favor."

"You don't have to buy me a drink. I'll do ya a favor ‘cause I want to."

"I'm not ready to face Mrs. Eddington. She's a wonderful woman but I'm not up to her fussing right now. I'm a coward." "Nothin' cowardly about you. You wanna eat alone, or you want some company?"

"I would be very happy to have your company." Vin left the saloon and Vicky went back to her sitting room. A few minutes later, he was back with their supper. "Mrs. Eddington is feelin' bad she can't do more for you."

"I'll go and see her tomorrow."

"I knew a man like Nicholas once. But he didn't have someone like you lookin' after him. He took one of his spells once and a fella shot him, just to shut him up. Makes you wonder about God when you see people with that much trouble and nobody to help them." "Do you wonder about God, Vin?"

"Not any more. I figure when you die, that's it. What happens before you die just happens. I didn't used to think that way and maybe some day I'll change my mind, but I ain't waitin' for it to happen."

"Did you ever have anybody who made you feel like living was more than just waiting to die?"

"Nobody worth mentionin'. I never had a life that welcomed somebody else in it. And now, I can't expect someone to share my life when I'm runnin' and hidin' all the time."

"It's surprising what people will put up with if they think what they end up with is worth the trouble."

"Haven't met anybody like that. What are you gonna do if the judge decides you done somethin' wrong?"

"Do you think he will?"

"The judge is a fair man. He'll listen to what you have to say and what other people have to say before he makes up his mind." "I'm too tired to run. In one way, I've never been so scared, but I'm ready to take whatever he gives me. I just want it to be over, one way or the other."

"You got lotsa folks'll speak up for you." "That means a lot to me. I've never had anybody I could trust with my life, and I feel like I have that here."

"Ezra's sweet on you, you know."

"Ezra's sweet on the thought of all the money he's making. He's got the perfect job right now - he can gamble as much as he wants and he gets a share of my profits, and he doesn't have the responsibility of being the boss."

"He'd give up the money in a minute if it'd save you from the judge." "Well, I hope I don't have to put him in that predicament. I'd hate for him to have to abandon his publicly avowed principles on my behalf."

"My personal opinion is, the judge'll see your side and let you off."

"I hope you're right. Do you want some more meat?"

When they were finished eating, Vicky poured Vin a glass of brandy. "I ain't used to fancy liquor like this. I don't want to get above my station!"

"I'll tell you something, Vin. When we lived in New York, we saw people who had lots of money and a position in society, and not one of them had the class and dignity you have. I don't mean to embarrass you, I just want you to know that the circumstances of your birth have nothing to do with your worth as a person. You're a better person - and a better friend - than most other people I know. To me, that's more important than money and position. Your station in life should be what you earn, not where you're born." Before she went to bed, Vicky went into the back of her wardrobe and pulled out the dress and hat she'd worn to both her parents' funerals. She got up early enough the next morning to take a bath and wash her hair. She was dressed and sitting by the door when Ezra came for her. He helped her on with her coat and they went out to the buggy he'd brought from the livery. During the trip to the cemetery, they spoke less than a dozen words between them. There were already several people at the gravesite when Vicky and Ezra arrived. Chris, Vin, Buck, Josiah, JD and Nathan had all obviously been to the bath house and had also shaved, and Vicky felt a catch in her throat when she saw how much trouble - for them - they had gone to on her behalf.

Josiah conducted a simple ceremony and spoke about love and loyalty. He said very little about Nicholas and Vicky felt good about what was said. After the coffin had been lowered into the ground, people started drifting away. Vicky pulled the key to the saloon out of her pocket and handed it to Chris.

"The saloon's closed today, but I'd like you all to have a drink on the house. As many drinks as you want. I'll be along shortly." She turned back to the grave and looked down at the coffin. She didn't move when Ezra stood beside her and put his arm around her. After a few seconds, she turned her head and looked at him.

"I'm not sorry he'd dead."

"Nor should you be."

"I'm sorry he died the way he did, but I'm not sorry he's dead. I can't imagine the hell he lived his whole life." "You're much more charitable than I could be. I know blood relations are important, but what he put you through was unforgivable. I wish there was something I could do to make it right for you." "You've already done more for me than you know. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"I'm ready."

When she sat up on the buggy seat, Vicky took her hat off and let her hair down. She shook her head so she could feel the cool wind in her hair, and then she closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Ezra took the buggy directly to the livery and he and Vicky walked from there to the saloon. As they made their way up the boardwalk, she slipped her hand into his and he squeezed it. They went in through Vicky's sitting room and she took off her coat. Ezra started into the saloon but she stopped him. She put her arms around him and they embraced for a few seconds, then she kissed him on the cheek and went ahead of him into the saloon.

Vicky and her seven friends sat in the saloon and went through four bottles of whiskey. They passed through a range of emotions from philosophical to downright silly and back again but none of them actually got drunk. Josiah was the first to get up to leave and the others followed shortly afterwards. As everyone was filing out, Vicky put her hand on Ezra's arm.

"Will you wait for a minute?"

Ezra cleared the dirty glasses and empty bottles off the table while Vicky locked the front doors. There was only one lamp lit, near the table where they had been sitting, and the saloon was close to darkness. Ezra was waiting for her at the end of the bar. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"What's wrong?"

"I don't mean sleeping on the settee. I mean with me, in my bed." Vicky was afraid she'd made a mistake, but then Ezra spoke very quietly.

"I would like that more than anything else I can think of."

Chapter Seven: Alone

Ezra insisted that Vicky stay inside, out of public view, the next day. His reasoning was; she was going to need the support of the town's people during the next few days and it would be better for her if she stayed inside and let everyone think she was mourning her brother's death, at least until Judge Travis arrived, two days after the funeral. Ezra looked after running the saloon and he ate with Vicky in her sitting room the day after the funeral, and he stayed with her again for a second night. But when Vicky woke up on the morning after their second night together, Ezra was gone. She hadn't heard him leave and there was no evidence that he had ever been there.

Vicky didn't believe he had simply taken what he wanted from her and then disappeared on what was to be her judgement day. She couldn't have misjudged him that badly, but he wasn't there and she didn't know why. Sitting on the edge of her bed, the events of the past few days finally caught up to her and she couldn't keep her emotions under control any longer. She sat and cried until she simply ran out of tears.

In all of the worst moments of her life, she had never felt as alone as she did at that moment. She was depressed and convinced herself that Judge Travis was going to decide she was a murderer who had to die. It became very important to her that, when she was taken to jail, she was clean. So she had a bath and washed her hair, and then she got dressed. She sat down on the settee to wait for Judge Travis. She didn't know when he was arriving, or how long she'd have to sit. She was hungry but she didn't want to take the chance of not being there when the judge arrived.

She actually didn't have to wait long. Just before 11:00 there was a knock on the door and Vicky could see the judge through the curtains. The knock startled her and she jumped up and hurried over to open the door.

"Hello, Judge Travis."

"Good morning, Miss Watson."

"Come in, please."

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting."

"It takes time to travel..."

"I meant this morning. I arrived an hour ago, but your friends waylaid me."

"My friends?"

"Mr. Larabee and Mr. Standish and the others. They wanted to make sure I understood the events that led up to your brother's death. They're concerned you won't defend yourself, so they wanted to do it for you."

"I'm sorry, Judge. I didn't know."

"No need to apologize. You're lucky to have so many people who care so much about you. Now, Miss Watson, I know you're anxious to get this over with, so why don't we get right to it. Tell me what happened."

Vicky took a deep breath and started telling the judge what she had never told anyone before.

"My brother was three years older than me. He was always what I guess you'd call delicate. My mother protected him and kept him away from people, so he was always afraid of just about everyone. When I was five, he started having spells, like fits. He'd become violent and uncontrollable for ten or fifteen minutes and then it would be over and he wouldn't remember what he'd done. " It always seemed to happen when nobody else was around, and he always took it out on me. Most of the time he'd hit me with his fists, or he'd kick me, but sometimes he'd have a stick or a belt or something else to hit me with.

"My parents knew it was happening but they never once apologized to me or did anything to stop it. A couple of times I heard them arguing. My father thought Nicholas should see a doctor and my mother got hysterical. She didn't want him to end up in an asylum. So it just went on for years and years. For the first few years, I thought it was my fault that I was doing something to make him act that way.

"My father owned a hotel in New York. Nicholas and I worked at a lot of different jobs there. The idea was that eventually we'd take over the business. It was drilled into me from the time I could understand that Nicholas needed to be protected and it would be my responsibility when my parents died.

"Just over a year ago, my mother died. Before she did, she made my father promise not to send Nicholas to an asylum. My father got the idea that, if we left New York, Nicholas would be better. Almost like providence, he saw an advertisement for the hotel here in Four Corners. So, he bought it and we headed west. "About a month into the journey, my father was thrown from a horse and he died a couple of days later. He'd sold the business in New York and wired most of the money here, so we really didn't have any choice, except to carry on. The day after we buried my father, Nicholas had one of his spells. We were travelling with six other families and he scared them so bad, they refused to let us go on with them. So Nicholas and I continued on our own. We had a little bit of money but we had to spend some of it to bury my father and, travelling so far, we had to keep getting supplies and new oxen, the wagon had to be fixed a few times. Back in the hotel in New York, we had a casino and I learned to play poker from some very good players. Whenever Nicholas and I needed money, I'd play poker and win some money, and that's how we got across the country. "One night in Texas, I played against some pretty big time gamblers and I won a lot of money. When I left the saloon, one of the men followed me out and told me he'd kill me if I didn't go with him to his hotel room. There's nothing like a gun in your ribs to help motivate you to do something you don't really want to do. The man was big and drunk and mean and it was horrible. It seemed like it just went on forever and ever. Even though it was just the two of us in his room, I was so ashamed of myself, and I felt so dirty. After a couple of hours, he finally fell asleep and I got away from him. Nicholas was sleeping in the back of the wagon. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, while we were travelling, after my father died, Nicholas attacked me three times. One night, I woke up and he was keeling over me with a big rock in his hands, just about to smash it down on my head.

"Anyway, we finally made it to Four Corners. Altogether, it took us four months. My father had been so anxious to get away that he hadn't even thought about how hard it would be travelling during winter.

"Nicholas trained as a bookkeeper and he liked the work because he didn't have to deal with people. I did the rest. I knew we could run the hotel but I wasn't sure if we'd be able to do it, with the saloon and the kitchen as well. Fortunately, there were already people here who knew how to do the day to day work. Without them, I don't know what I would have done.

"In July, during that really bad hot spell we had, Nicholas started getting headaches. He always had headaches just before his spells. One night I was walking down the street and he attacked me. I didn't see him because it was dark, but I knew it was him. He threatened to kill me.

"When Nathan was taking care of me afterwards, he saw the scars on my back and figured out it was Nicholas. I asked him not to say anything and he didn't, but Chris eventually figured it out and I think Buck and Vin did too.

"During the past week or so, when the weather started cooling down, Nicholas started getting bad again. I knew it was just a matter of time. The other night, he went out into the street and started screaming at me and calling me names. It was the first time he'd ever done anything in public and I was scared he'd hurt somebody else.

"He just stood out there, screaming and calling me names and accusing me of things he thought I'd done."

"You took a gun out with you."

"When I first heard him screaming, judge, it was like I was standing on the side, watching this person, who was me. But it didn't seem like me, it seemed like someone else. I did take the gun with me. I'm saying I did it because I was afraid he was going to hurt somebody else. But I honestly don't know because it really didn't seem like me.

"Anyway, he was on the street, screaming at me, and I was trying to calm him down. He said I should die for all of the bad things he thought I'd done, and he shot at me. He missed and he got closer to me and pointed the gun again, and I shot him. He got a look on his face, so surprised, bewildered, but he just kept coming at me, so I shot him again and he died. If I hadn't shot him, somebody else would have and that just wasn't right."

"You wanted vengeance?"

"No. It was just Nicholas and me left and I was responsible for him, and I had to look after him. He had those horrible demons in his head his whole life and I was the only one who really saw what they did to him. He didn't do it on purpose, he didn't even know what he was doing. But I had to help him find peace. The only way he could was to die. I hope he's better off now.

"So, Judge Travis, I killed my brother. I did it in front of the whole town. I don't have any excuse, except that now I hope he's at peace."

"That's quite a story, Miss Watson. I had already made up my mind about this before I came in here, but I needed to hear what you had to say. I have no doubt at all that you acted in self-defense. I can't imagine anyone having to live the kind of life you've had. As far as I'm concerned, this case is closed, and I hope you'll be able to get on with your life. I'm sorry you had to wait for me to come here to settle this for you."

Vicky couldn't believe it was over so suddenly. She had expected the judge to go away and consider all the evidence before making a decision. She hadn't expected it to happen like this. When she spoke, she had trouble catching her breath. "I don't know what to say. That's it?"

"That's it."

"Thank you, Judge Travis. I feel like I've had the weight of the world taken off my shoulders. I'm stunned." She needed to get up and move around, and when the judge stood up, she grasped his hand.

"Thank you so much."

"It's my pleasure, Miss Watson. By the way, your friends don't know my decision, so I imagine they're waiting anxiously to see you. I'm going to have a talk with my daughter-in-law about her tendency to over-react to things."

"I can't believe I'm defending her, but all she knew was what she saw on the street the other night."

"She could have got a little more information before she wired me. I'll be here for a couple of days, I hope I'll see you again, Miss Watson."

Chapter Eight: Darkness Into Light

As soon as Judge Travis left, Vicky went outside and barely made it into the outhouse before her nerves got the better of her and she started throwing up. She wretched so hard and for so long that she could barely stand up because her legs were so weak. Finally, after about twenty minutes, her head cleared. She got some water from the pump to rinse out her mouth and then she went back inside. Ezra was standing inside the sitting room. "I thought the judge had taken you away. Where have you been?" "Throwing up. I stink, I need to wash." Vicky washed her face and hands and then turned around and looked at Ezra. "I woke up this morning and you weren't here. So I sat here all by myself waiting for the judge. All by myself."

"I had to talk to the judge. During the past few days you've been talking like you weren't planning on defending yourself, so I went out to meet the judge and make sure somebody spoke on your behalf."

"He told me you were all out there."

"I didn't know that when I went out. Victoria, if I'd known they were all going to do the same thing, I wouldn't have left you. I'm sorry. I know you were scared and I should have been here, but I had to make sure the judge understood the situation." Ezra realized he still didn't know what the judge had said to her. "What happened?"

"He listened to my story and decided I acted in self-defense."

"It's finished?"

"That's what he said." "Praise the lord. I hope this finishes it for you."

"Well, my brother is dead. I don't have any family, except for people I haven't seen for years. I'm on the other side of the country from my home, pretty much alone."

"You're not alone. Even though it's not blood relations, you have people here who are your family now, if you'll let them be. You belong here now, Victoria. This is your home." "That should make me feel better, I guess, but it doesn't. I don't know why. I've spent the past twenty years hiding from myself and from the truth, and now, all of a sudden, I have to start my life all over again. That's not as easy as just saying I'm going to do it."

"I'll help you do it. I want to help you."

"For how long, Ezra? Until you get tired of being in this town and you decide you want to move on to greener pastures? I know Four Corners isn't really where you want to be."

"It wasn't before, but now, I have a reason to stay here. And I'm not talking about the money you're paying me, although I can understand why you'd think that. I have built a reputation for myself that admittedly is very shallow, but that's for my own protection. Since you arrived, I've developed a new perspective on things. I want to stay here and help you run your business, if you'll let me. And I want to be part of your life." "Ezra, I know you're restless, just in general, because that's the way you've been your whole life. I don't want you to come to me because you think I expect it, or you think its part of our business arrangement. I want you to come here because you want to be here. If you ever just start coming because you think you have to, I don't want you to come at all. I don't expect you to marry me or to live here with me. If you want to come, I'll always be happy to have you, but I'm going to let you live your life the way you have to. "And I need to be able to live by myself now, too. I've never been able to do that before, and I have to do that now. What I'm trying to say is, I'm going to try very hard not to smother you and I won't let you smother me. But if you decide you want to stay, that would make me very happy."

"I can't imagine going anywhere else. If I did, you wouldn't be there, and I'd just have to come back to you. This is where I want to be now."

He put his arms around her and held her tightly. Vicky suddenly felt more relaxed than she'd ever been, and she knew the darkness that had been her life was gone, and what lay ahead was as bright as she could ever hope it to be.

The End