Why can't I ever do what I'm told? thought Mary, as the arm around her neck tightened.
Chris had told her to stay inside and out of sight. But the reporter in her, as always, had gotten the better of her. She only intended to peak out the window. But when she saw Chris was the only of the seven trying to disarm the five bank robbers, her concern led her out the front door onto the porch. As soon as she was through the door one of the outlaws had quickly grabbed her from behind and ripped the shotgun from her hands.
As he imprisoned the newspaper owner with his arm around her neck, he yelled loudly, "Back off cowboy or the lady here dies!"
Chris had always hated being called 'cowboy' but hated seeing Mary in danger even more.
"Drop you gun and back off and she won't git hurt!" yelled the outlaw again.
"Calm down mister. No need to hurt the lady now," Chris pleaded, still holding his gun.
"Drop your gun NOW!" the outlaw insisted, tightening his grip on Mary's neck and pointing his gun to her head.
Chris knew the others were positioned close by. But none of them would be able to take out the man holding Mary hostage without possibly hurting her. So his only choice was to meet the demands. Putting his one hand in the air, he bent down to lay his gun in the dirt.
"Ok now. I'm laying it down nice and easy. Just don't hurt the lady," Chris said, with his eyes focused on Mary and the scum who held her.
She was pleading to him with her eyes not to put his gun down but he had no choice. He couldn't risk her life. If something happened to her because he didn't listen to this outlaw- he'd never forgive himself.
"There...my gun's down," he said standing back up, "Now let the lady go!"
The outlaw let out a nasty laugh as he returned, "GO TO HELL!"
Then everything happened so quickly. Mary felt herself roughly being shoved down to the ground as she heard the deafening sounds of gunfire erupt around her. As she was falling she saw out of the corner of her eyes her worst nightmare coming true.
Chris tried to dive for his gun but for once wasn't fast enough. He grabbed his side as the bullet ripped through him. His eyes made contact with hers as he went down.
"NOOOOOOO!" came from deep in her throat as she realized he'd been shot.
There was even more gunfire now when the rest of the seven men made their appearance. The outlaw that had held her hostage and had also shot Chris, quickly fell beside her. He was dead before he hit the ground with six bullet holes in his chest.
The remaining four robbers also met their demise rather abruptly. Then there were a few seconds of silence as the dust settled. As it did Mary looked up to the most horrible sight she could imagine--Chris lying in the middle of the street, very still.
Although she was quick to her feet and headed straight for Chris- Nathan was the first to reach him. Mary and Vin were next by his side.
"Chris? I'm so sorry Chris. I should've listened to you. You got shot because of me. I was only trying to help..." she said to the man lying in the street while she touched his face and held his hand in hers.
"Nathan, how bad is it?" Vin asked worriedly.
"Not sure. There's alot of blood. Help me git him to my room." Nathan answered quickly.
Once in the room, Mary helped with what she could. It didn't take long for Nathan to determine the bullet only grazed Chris' side. And once the bleedin' stopped and he was stitched up Nathan told all the worried parties that their leader should be just fine in a few days.
When everything seemed to be under control Mary excused herself and headed home. She was beside herself that she had caused Chris' injuries. Once she was in the security of her home she gave into her emotions and cried her eyes out.
+ + + + + + +
Guilt was a terrible thing and Mary was not dealing with hers very well. She couldn't work, eat or even sleep. Nor could she bring herself to visit Chris as he recovered. She knew he was getting better after asking Mrs. Potter the day she had come to check on Mary. She also knew she should go and check on him herself but her guilt wouldn't allow her.
Three days after the incident Vin stopped in at The Clarion.
"Howdy Ma'am. Just thought I'd see how you're holding up since ain't seen you out in a few days." he said tipping his hat.
"I'm just fine, Mr. Tanner. Thank you for your concern." she replied politely.
"Chris is feelin' much better too. Nathan don't reckon he'll be able to keep him restin' in bed much longer." Vin announced.
"Well, it's good to know he'll be back to his old self soon." Mary returned.
Then Vin noticed the trunks sitting around the room and that the office was looking bare. No she can't be doin' what I think she is, he thought to himself. "Are you doin' some spring cleanin' Miz Travis?" he asked curiously.
"No Mr. Tanner. I'm packing these things so they can be moved." she replied.
"Moved to where?" Vin asked, hoping her answer wouldn't be what he feared it would be.
"Back East with me. I'm moving back home- where I belong." she answered dropping her head so she didn't have to look him in the eye.
"Mary...you're leavin'?"
"Yes I am. Just as soon as I can get everything packed," she said.
Vin tried to change her mind, "You know Chris- he don't blame you none for any of this. Maybe you should talk to him first before decidin' to leave?"
"No Mr. Tanner. My mind's made up. I'm doing the right thing. Really, it'll be best for everyone. Now if you will excuse me. I have a lot to do," the lady insisted as she herded him towards the door.
Vin grumbled under his breath after the door was closed behind him, "Not gonna be best for whoever has to tell Chris. Which'll probably be me!"
Vin was right. It was a good thing Chris wasn't fully at his best when he told him about Mary's plans for leaving. It had taken about all the strength he had left to quickly dress and head for The Clarion. He had muttered something about having to find out what the hell she was up to now.
Vin thought to himself, at least he had a few extra minutes to calm down a bit since it took a tad longer to get dressed! Then he shook his head and started towards the stable, glad to be as far away as possible from the newspaper office.
As the front door swung open Mary looked up at the man clad all in black standing in her doorway. Well that didn't take long now did it? she thought to herself.
Chrs asked sharply, "So, you are leavin'?"
"Yes I am." she answered dryly then returned to her packing job.
Chris waited a minute then continued, "You're just giving this all up and runnin' away?"
Mary briefly looked up and defended herself, "I'm not running away Chris."
He quickly replied, "Looks that way to me."
She dropped the books in the box and said sternly, "I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of fighting everybody and everything. It's just not worth it anymore." As she finished her sentence her shoulders slightly dropped, signaling her defeat.
Chris asked quietly, "Your dreams for Billy aren't worth it anymore?"
Mary said harshly, "It's too hard, Chris!"
"Dreams easily come by ain't usually worth havin' anyhow." He paused then added, "It'll all be worth in the end, Mary."
She raised her voice slightly, "And when is the end, Chris? When Billy ends up an orphan? Or when I end up...childless? This town...this paper are not worth any of it!"
"I never pictured you a quitter." the tall blonde frowned.
With her voice cracking a little she replied angrily, "Well Mr. Larabee, there's a lot of things I never pictured. Raising my child alone. Running this paper alone. Trying against so many obstacles to bring civilization to this God-forsaken town. I don't want to do it any longer." She took a deep breath and finished, "You were right Chris. So I'm going back to where I came from. I'm actually taking your advice for once. That should make you happy!"
Chris only said sadly, "None of this makes me happy."
Mary laughed a little as she replied, "Oh that's right! That's an emotion you're no longer familiar with!"
The silence was so thick that neither one of them could barely breathe.
Then Chris simply turned towards to door to leave. Stopping at the door, he slightly turned his head and said coolly, "Good luck Mary."
As he gently closed the door behind him Mary dropped her head. She knew she had just hurt him with what she'd said. That was the last thing she'd wanted to do.
"But it's for the best," she told herself out loud. He had let his guard down because of her and in turn had almost been killed the other day. And she wasn't going to be the cause of that.
In his line of work he couldn't be distracted. Since she was the one distracting him she decided she was the one that needed to leave. And if hating her made it easier for him to get her out of his mind-then it would just have to be that way.
+ + + + + + +
Meanwhile Chris made his way to the saloon. Crashing through the doors and heading straight for the bar, he quickly tossed back the whiskey that had been set in front of him. Most folks knew to keep their distance from Chris Larabee when he was in this kind of mood. Buck knew too. He just didn't bother to listen to his common sense.
"So there pard- guess it's true 'bout Mary leaving for good?" he said taking up in the seat next to Chris.
"Yep." was all Chris offered as he threw back another drink.
"So whatcha gonna do?" asked Buck
"Bout what?" the man in black drawled out.
So he's going to make this hard is he? thought Buck. "Well, about gettin' her to stay of course!" he exclaimed.
"If she wants to go-she can go! She is a grown woman, after all. A stubborn, unreasonable, mule-headed woman." He had begun to mumble towards the end.
Buck just stared at him, so he defended himself. "There's nothin' I can do to stop her."
"You don't mean can't...you mean won't! Come on Chris, you're the only one I see being stubborn, unreasonable, and mule-headed right now!" Buck added sharply.
Chris had had just about enough as he grabbed Buck by the collar and told him, "Just stay out of it Buck! You should learn to mind your own business and quit stickin' your nose in mind all the time!" And with that let go of Buck and left the saloon in the same manner that he'd entered it.
"Yep! Reckon I struck a nerve!" the mustached man said satisfied with himself.
+ + + + + + +
Chris headed for the stable, glad when he found his horse already saddled.
Vin nodded his head and asked cautiously, "Mind if I ride along?"
Chris snapped, "Suit yourself," as he mounted his horse and rode out of the stable while Vin followed.
After about two miles of pushing their horses almost to their limits, Chris finally reined his horse in. After slowing to just a walk, Vin decided to approach him.
"Care to fill me in on what's troublin' you?" the tracker asked his friend.
"Who says I'm troubled?" Chris answered, purposely avoiding the real reason.
"Now Chris, you just practically drove your horse to an early grave! Something's gotta be up for you to treat an animal like that."
Still no answer, so Vin tried again, "Guess you didn't persuade Mary to stay, did you?"
"What makes you say that?" the blonde asked.
"Oh nothin'...just judgin by the way you're actin' is all. That and the fact I was right when I figured you'd be needin' your horse ready to ride soon!"
"What am I supposed to do, Vin? She wants to leave. I can't stop her!" Chris stated.
"She don't want to leave, Chris!" Vin told his confused friend. "She's runnin' from her guilt. She blames herself for you gettin' shot."
"It ain't her fault. I don't blame her none," Chris quickly exclaimed.
"Chris, you haven't exactly been slow to point blame in the past. She just expects that you'll blame her for this." Vin tried to explain.
"I was just trying to protect her!" Chris tried to say but Vin was quick to finish explaining.
"That's the point. You got shot protectin' her and she thinks that's her fault."
Chris took a few minutes to let it all sink in and thought to himself, Didn't she know I could never blame her for this? No...she wouldn't know that cause I've never told her how I feel about her! No wonder she's runnin'. Maybe it's time I told her but am I ready for that? Would she still want to leave if she knew? Maybe it would be best if she did leave?
Vin interrupted his thoughts, "You care 'bout her, don't you?"
Chris nodded his head and said sadly, "But what do I have to offer her, Vin? My life's too dangerous to ask her and Billy to be part of it."
"In a way she already is Chris." Vin answered.
Chris looked at him, still a little confused, so Vin continued. "She thought you were the only one up against those five outlaws. It was her concern for you that took her out onto the porch. Now she thinks she caused you to get shot. See Chris, she cares about you too. And the last thing she wants to do is leave Four Corners...or you."
Chris looked at Vin and Vin looked back at Chris. Then at the same time they both turned their horses and headed back to town. Chris didn't push his horse quite as hard this time but they still made it back rather quickly. Now that Chris had decided he was ready to tell Mary how he felt about her--he didn't want to waste one second more.
+ + + + + + +
The gunslinger stopped his horse in front of The Clarion. Looking up at her building he took a deep breath, then climbed the steps quickly and went through the door. The room was empty. Though the trunks and furniture were still there, it was empty to Chris because he didn't see Mary.
You're too late, Larabee! You waited too long! he thought to himself. Dropping his head he turned around to leave, just as Mary came in from the back door.
"Chris!" she exclaimed, startled to find him here again.
Their eyes met and locked as he turned back around.
This can't actually be happening. It's got to be a dream, thought Mary.
Chris laid his hat on her desk but never took his eyes off of her as he made his way to her. The look in his green eyes was making her nervous. She backed up against the closed door for support because her suddenly shaky legs were threatening to give out.
He now stood directly in front of her, looking deep into her eyes. He smiled slightly just before he placed both hands on either side of her face. Slowly the tall man bent his head to touch his lips lightly to hers.
She was as soft as he'd imagined. He was more gentle than she ever would have thought. They wrapped their arms around each other and completely enjoyed their first kiss.
Ending the kiss, Chris held her tightly to him as he told her quietly, "No one's to blame."
Hearing this Mary let out a big sigh of relief and hugged him closer to her.
Chris kissed her forehead as they left the comfort of each other's arms. He held her hand as he led her towards the closest trunk to them and began to unpack it together.
By nightfall the trunks were unpacked and all of Mary's possessions were back in their rightful places. And a much awaited candlelight dinner was being enjoyed by the black-clad gunslinger and the blonde newspaper lady.
The End
