I wasn't stupid enough to believe that findin' out who killed my wife and son and why would bring them back, but I didn't expect to have it kill them again.

Remember not to forget, that's what old Hank told me. Well, I remembered, all right. Findin' the truth made me remember the pain and guilt of findin' 'em dead, remember the cold emptiness that filled me, and remember the hatred and anger that tied itself tighter and tighter around my gut until it became a part of me. But I couldn't remember what it felt like to be a husband and a father, and I couldn't see Sarah's face. Instead I'd see Ella Gaines's and wonder why I couldn't have just pulled that damn trigger.

All the senseless, irritating noises of the saloon just added to that knot of anger and hate, makin' it twist itself even tighter until I felt like any more of it and I was gonna snap. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and shoved my way out the door to the boardwalk and into the night air, only to find more noise- Vin was sittin' in a chair leaned against the wall, blowin' air through that damned harmonica of his. The knot twisted tighter.

"You ever gonna learn to play any real goddamn music on that thing?"

"Nope."

"Then why the hell ya botherin' with it?"

I stood there on the step and started to take another swig of whiskey. It wasn't a question I expected an answer to and at that moment I really didn't give a shit, either.

"This belonged to a friend of mine, long time ago." Somethin' in Tanner's voice made me look over at him, and I forgot about takin' that next drink. He was holdin' that damn harmonica up, just lookin' at it and the way the light from the saloon shone off it, like it was magic or somethin'. He sounded as if he was far away, and I had a feelin' he really was right then. "He was an old wanderer, sorta took on the job of lookin' out for me when I was a kid. He couldn't play no real songs on it either, not like what most folks wanna hear. But he said it was the most powerful medicine he knew."

I'd been starin' at that harmonica, almost hypnotized by the calmness of Vin's voice. And when I raised my eyes Vin was lookin' at me. He still had that far-off look about him, but something there seemed to be aimed right at me.

"The sounds he made with it, the sounds he wanted me to hear-- it was his way of givin' me somethin' I needed when he didn't know no other way of doin' it. Like peace. Or somethin' familiar. Somethin' that would last and never go away. I just want to keep that feelin' alive. Keep my old friend alive, in a way. And I hope I do him justice. 'Cause a gift like that, now that's the most powerful medicine there is."

The knot seemed to loosen a little. I hardly recognized my own voice when I heard it. "Ain't too often you find a person who'll share what's sacred to him like that."

Vin seemed to come back from wherever it was he had gone to then. He gave that half-assed crooked grin of his and ducked his head down, nodding. A few quiet notes from his harmonica was his reply.

Something in me settled. I dropped down and sat on the top step, releasin' a breath that it felt like I'd been holdin' for weeks.

And I remembered the way Sarah used to hum some nameless tune as she cooked Sunday dinner.

"I ever tell you how I met Sarah...?"

The End