The Dance
Things had been pretty quiet around Four Corners lately. That's just the sort of thing that usually makes me nervous. But, on this particular morning, I was out just observing things. And, of course, Billy Travis spotted me right off.
"Chris!" he came running to me, full of excitement, with a broad smile on his face.
"Hey, Billy" I stopped to let him catch up with me.
"Whatcha doin', Chris?" he asked me enthusiastically as he got to my side.
"Just havin' a look around" I told him.
"Can I look with you?"
"Sure, Billy" I chuckled. "That's fine"
Billy was a good kid. And he reminded me so much of Adam I sometimes had to look at him twice when I spoke to him to be sure I called him by the right name. We strolled over to the hitching posts in front of the general store and I leaned down on it while he climbed up to sit on top of it. I kept my hand on my chin, gently rubbing a spot with my finger. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see that Billy was doing the exact same thing. I'd also noticed how if I walked with my hands in my pockets, Billy did the same and a few other things I'd noticed he was copying. The boy liked me all right. And that was OK...or so I thought.
Mary Travis came out of her office in the printing room with an armful of posters in one hand and a hammer in the other. I watched her stroll across the street to stop at a post, take a nail from her dress pocket, and start hammering one of the posters up where everybody could see.
"What's your Mama tackin' up over there, Billy?" I nudged my companion lightly with my arm.
"Gonna be a dance!" he told me with a smile.
"A dance? What kind of a dance?"
"Big barn dance! Gonna be fiddlers and eats and everything!"
"Well, now, that sounds real nice! You got some little girlfriend to go with you?"
"I ain't dancin' with no girl!" he scoffed.
"Aw, now, Billy, you ought not to be that way! It's real nice dancing with girls! You don't wanna dance with no boys, do you?"
"Heck, no!"
"Well, if you don't dance with girls, who else you think you're gonna dance with?"
"I ain't going to dance! I'm going to eat!"
"Well, you gotta work off all that eatin' somehow!"
"Well, why is dancin' with girl so nice?"
"Oh, because girls are pretty....and they're soft...they were pretty dresses and ribbons in their hair...and they smell real nice, too"
"My Ma smells nice" Billy nodded. "Sometimes when she puts me to bed I can still smell her in the room long time after she's gone!"
"I bet that's true, Billy" I nodded, my eyes never leaving where Mary was working across the street.
"Hey! You could ask my Ma to the dance!" Billy brightened quickly with his thought.
"Well, now, Billy, it ain't exactly all that easy!"
"Why not?"
"Well, you ask a girl to a dance and she gets the idea that you like her...then things get complicated"
"What's 'complicated' mean?"
"Aw, well, that's a grown up word that means 'not easy'"
"If you take a girl to a dance, does that mean you have to kiss her when it's over?"
"No, you don't have to kiss her if you don't want to" I grinned over at him. "Some little girl you're sweet on, Billy?"
"Charlotte Henson" he nodded shyly.
"Charlotte Henson" I nodded as I repeated her name. I knew Charlotte...cute little girl with red curly hair...always wore the prettiest little dressed and high button shoes...tied a big yellow ribbon in her hair almost everyday. "That's a good choice, Billy"
"You think she'd go with me?"
"Well, now, I don't know! You'll just have to ask her and see"
"I know my Ma would go with you! If ya asked her!"
"You know that for a fact, do you?" I chuckled a bit.
"My Ma likes you, Chris...I know she does!"
"Is that a fact?" I grinned at him. "I tell you what, Billy..." I reached over and lifted him down off the hitching post. "Let me go find out more about this dance and we'll talk about it again" I put him on the ground and he smiled up at me.
"OK, Chris! See ya!"
He gave me a quick wave and then he scampered off somewhere. I strolled casually across the street to come up beside Mary where she was working. I took the hammer out of her hand and smiled at her.
"Here, let me help you with these..."
"Oh!" she was startled for just a second, but then she laughed a little.
"Why, thank you, Chris"
"Glad to help" I told her truthfully. "So, will you be there?"
"Be where?"
"At the dance?" I motioned to the poster.
"Oh!" she nodded. "Sure. I'm sort of in charge, I guess. It was my idea"
"You be going with somebody?"
"Why, Chris Larabee, you wouldn't be gettin' jealous on me, now would you?"
"Jealous?" I scoffed. "Me?" I let out my breath with a hissing sound.
"Shoot, no! I just wondered if anybody was escorting you or not"
"You're asking me if I have a gentleman suitor" she smiled at me.
"Yeah" I nodded. "That too"
"Well, the truth is..." she gave me a coy look that reached inside me and touched my soul with excitement. "No. I'm going with Billy"
"Well, now, you just might have a problem, then!" I laughed a little and smiled over at her. "'Cos he told me he was gonna ask Charlotte Henson to go with him"
Having tacked up the last post, I flipped the hammer in my hand, holding onto the head, and reaching it to her handle side first.
"Have a nice day, Mary"
I tipped my hat slightly and strolled on off back across the street to Ezra 's saloon. I went up to the bar and Ezra came over to me quickly.
"What'll it be, Cowboy?"
"Gimme a whiskey"
While I was waiting, Buck and Vin came in to join me on either side at the bar.
"Uh oh" Buck chuckled. "Crackin' into whiskey again...what's wrong now?"
"Nothin's wrong"
"Somethin's wrong!"
"What's the best way to ask a lady to a dance?"
"Why, that's easy!" Ezra smirked at me as he filled up my shot glass.
"You just walk right up and say 'May I have the pleasure of escortin' you to this here dance?' and that's all there is to it!"
"I wish" I grunted as I downed the whiskey.
"Who's the lucky lady?"
"Mary Travis"
"Good choice!" Buck whistled. "But what dance?"
"There's a sign right outside the door!" Ezra remarked. "Didn't you see it when you came in?"
"Buck only reads pictures" I chuckled.
"I can read!" Buck protested.
"If ya got an hour!" I teased him.
"Well, I better go find me a lady to ask!" Buck sauntered away "And I know JUST who to ask..." he chuckled as I turned to Vin.
"What about you? You gonna ask a lady to the dance?"
"No" was his short reply.
"That's Cowboy talk for 'I don't know how to dance'!" Ezra laughed heartily.
"Is that right?" I looked at Vin and he gave me a brooding look. "You don't know how to dance?"
"Ain't never learned" Vin shook his head. "Ain't never had no cause to learn"
"Well, I think it's about time you learned!" I slapped him on the back.
"I don't wanna learn"
"Sure, you do!" I coaxed him.
"Sure, Vin" Ezra nodded. "We'll get you dancin' in no time!"
"Gimme one good reason why I should wanna learn to dance?" Vin grunted. I took his chin between my thumb and forefinger and turned his attention out the window.
"Lucy Gilmore" I told him very matter-of-factly.
"Oh, yeah" Vin's eyes glazed over at the sight of this brunette in a yellow dress walking along the board walk to the General Store. "I guess that would be a pretty good reason, wouldn't it?"
"Best one I can think of for you"
"OK" He nodded. "But you can't tell nobody! I don't want her knowing I can't dance, OK?"
"You got it, Pardner"
"Guess I better be rounding me up a date, too" Ezra grinned, "And I think I know just who to ask..."
Sometime later that day, Buck, Erza, Josiah, and me gathered with Vin out someplace in the woods where no one would see us.
"This is a simple box step" Ezra told Vin. "I learned it when I was 10. Now watch closely..." Ezra began to step out the pattern.
"One....two...three...four...." Ezra smiled as he finished. "See? Nothin' to it!"
"Says You!" Vin shook his head. "No way I'll be doin' that by Saturday night!"
"Vin, it's a simple box step! One...two...three...four!" Ezra repeated his pattern.
"Maybe he can't count to four" Buck snickered.
"I can so count to four!" Vin protested quickly.
"This coming from somebody who can't count past ten!" I chuckled at Buck. Buck and I were old friends...I could tease him like that and he wouldn't care. Anyone else might be another story...
"I can so count to ten!" Buck shot back at me. "One...two....ten! See?"
"And what comes after ten?" I smiled.
"'Leventeen" Buck gave me a satisfied smile.
"There ain't no such number as 'leventeen'!" I howled with laughter.
"Boys! Boys!" Ezra broke up the argument quickly. "We're gettin' nowhere fast! Can we get back to the dancin' lesson?"
"This ain't workin!" Vin shook his head.
"Well, then, we'll try my method!" Josiah stepped up and pulled a shirt out of his knapsack.
"What the hell is that for?" Buck scoffed.
"Gives him something to hold on to!" Josiah told us. "Like this, Vin, you hold the lady here.." he clutched a handful of shirt down around the waist. "And here..." he clutched at the end of the sleeve representing a hand "and when they play the waltz...." Josiah began to swirl around to imaginary music. "One...two...three....one...two...three..." he counted as he swirled. "Ah....music to fall in love with!"
"You guys really think I'll be able to do this by Saturday?" Vin groaned.
"Only if you practice!"
"Is that all I need to know? One...two...three and one...two...three...four?"
"Pretty much, yeah" Josiah nodded.
"OK" Vin pursed his lips tightly with a serious look. "But, I don't want you guys around watching....I'll learn it myself"
"How about if we get Mary to come and dance with him a few times? So's he gets the feel of it?" Ezra suggested.
"Oh, no!" Vin protested quickly. "I don't want Mary to know I can't dance!"
"I think that's a good idea!" Josiah nodded. "Don't you think so, Chris?"
"Sure" I nodded shortly. Truth was, I didn't think that sounded like such a good idea. And I honestly didn't know why.
Buck ran off to get Mary while Vin kept practicing the steps...with and without Josiah's shirt. But, he was stepping on his own feet and falling sideways more than anything else.
"Vin...Vin!" Ezra shook his head. "You got two left feet, boy!"
"I can't do this!" Vin shook his head.
"Yes, you can!" Ezra nodded to him. "You just have to work at it!"
"And you need a partner" Mary's voice rang out as she joined the party.
"Always easier to dance with a partner" she strolled on by. "You take me in your arms" she told Vin with a smile. "You left hand goes here..." she placed Vin's left hand in her right hand. "And your right hand goes here" she took his hand and put it on her waist. "And then you just lead the steps and I follow...like this...one" she took a step forward with her left foot and stepped on the top of Vin's boot. "You have to step back, Vin!" she scolded. "Try again...One..." Mary stepped forward and pushed Vin back a bit. "Two...." Mary stepped sideways, pulling Vin along with her. "Three..."
"This isn't working!" Vin dropped his hands and shook his head.
"Watch this, Vin!" Ezra stepped up. "May I have this dance, Ma'am?" he took a courtesy bow to Mary who laughed, and curtsied to him.
"It would my pleasure!" She told him.
Ezra was good at dancing, and he swirled Mary around with ease. She was laughing and he was smiling. The whole thing started to fester under my skin and I could feel my blood starting to boil watching them. I walked over and tapped Ezra really hard on the shoulder.
"Can I cut in?" I demanded.
"Well, now, I don't know if you can or not!" Ezra smirked back at me.
"I wasn't askin' ya, Ezra"
I pushed him out of the way and took his place with Mary, taking her hand in mine and placing my hand on the waistband of her dress. I looked into her eyes and felt my blood run cold as she smiled at me. Josiah counted and I could hear him, but I seemed to be lost in a world of my own. It was a magical feeling I hadn't known in a long time.
"Why, Chris Larabee" Mary teased me. "If I didn't know you better I'd say I saw a touch of the green-eyed monster in your eyes just now"
"Good thing you know me better" I grunted at her with a half smile.
But, then, I looked over at Mary and saw a vision of my dead wife, Sarah, and it scared me to death. I let go of Mary quickly and stepped back, confused and dazed.
"Chris?" Mary's voice broke my trance and brought me back to reality. "Is something wrong?"
"No" I shook my head. "Ain't nothing wrong...I just think that's enough for one day...that's all" I turned back to Vin. "All right, Vin...get over here and let's see you do this!"
I stepped back and watched. Vin had to watch his feet and count aloud, but he got all the steps right. I knew by the end of the week he'd be fine. But, I couldn't take my eyes off Mary. Watching her whirl and twirl, her laughter rippling through the air was like music to me...something I hadn't known for a long, long time.
Back in town, I was confronted quickly by Billy, motioning me off in a corner to follow him. We got around back of the printing office and motioned me down to his level so he could whisper in my ear.
"Can you teach me to dance, Chris?"
"Teach you to dance?" I repeated, only to get a 'shhhhh' from him quickly.
"I don't want anyone to know! And I can't ask my Ma...you know how that is! Can you teach me, Chris? Please?"
"Sure, Billy....I can teach you! But, don't be embarrassed about not being able to dance...we're havin' to teach Vin, too, and he's a lot bigger than you are!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, really....but, I'll teach you...don't worry!"
As the days wore closer to the dance, I still hesitated to ask Mary to go with me. But I did spend time teaching Billy the same steps we had tried to teach Vin. Billy seemed to take to it a little quicker, and he wasn't as shy about dancing with an imaginary girl by holding his arms in position. But, even though JD managed to get up the guts to ask Casey to go with him, and Vin hem hawed around and mumbled out an invite to Lucy Gilmore. Buck and I nearly died laughing watching from inside the saloon as Vin shuffled his feet and took off his hat, clutched it in his hands and looked at the ground but Lucy said 'yes' and that got his head up and a smile on his face. Buck mustered up the courage to ask Inez, the saloon manager for his company and Ezra surprised us all by politely, and in his BEST southern style, asking Rachel O'Hannah, a woman any of us hardly knew, for the honor. Only Nathan, me, and Josiah were without a date, but we all decided we'd go anyway and see if we could get a dance or two once we were there. The day before the dance, I came across Billy looking really down and forlorn sitting on a rock off from Mary's printing office.
"Hey, there, Pardner!" I came up on him lightly. "Why the long face?"
"I waited too long to ask Charlotte to go to the dance with me" he told me sadly. "I spent too much time learning to dance! She's already said 'yes' to Brian Mason"
"Well, now, that's all right, Billy. You just be a big man, and go to the dance alone. And when you get there and you see her, you just ask her to save you a dance or two"
"I wanted to punch Brian Mason in the nose!" he told me very matter-of-factly. "I don't wanna go and see him dance with her! I wanted to be the one dancin' with her!"
"Well, now, a gentleman doesn't go around punchin' people in the nose 'less you got a good reason..."
"Is that why you told Vin he was gonna wish he was dead if he danced with my Ma?"
"How'd you know about that?"
"I heard you tell him! I heard you tell all of 'em that!"
"Well, yeah! That's a more gentleman like way to handle it! If Charlotte was goin' alone, you could do that, see? But, since she's goin' with a boy, you can't do that. You got to act like a gentleman"
"OK, Chris" he nodded shortly.
As he started away, I shook my head and quietly reminded myself to be careful what I said around the big ears of a small child...
The day before the dance, Buck shared a drink with me at the bar and forced me to share conversation with him as well.
"So, did you ask Mary to the dance?" he asked me.
"No" I shook my head.
"Why not?"
"I don't know" I shrugged.
"You know, Chris, if you ask Mary to go to this dance with you, you ain't being unfaithful to Sarah" I shot him a look...how did he know? But then I remembered that Buck knew just about everything about me and what I was thinking.
"I know" I nodded.
"Then, what's the problem, Brother?"
"I don't know" I told him truthfully. "I just know that when I was dancin' with her the other day, I saw Sarah"
"Really?" Buck thought about it for a minute. "Well, how'd she look?"
"What do you mean 'how'd she look?', Buck? Sarah's dead! How do you think she looked!?"
"Well, was she smilin' at ya all happy, or was she givin' ya that look she always used to give ya when you came in the house with mud, or worse, on your boots"
I had to laugh at the mere thought of that memory. Sarah could really get after me sometimes.
"She was smilin' at me" I grinned.
"So, what does that tell ya?" Buck downed his drink and slammed the glass on the bar, looking over at me.
"I don't know"
"Tells me she's happy to see you be happy again! She never used to like it when you sat around broodin' all the time"
"Yeah...." I nodded. "That's true"
Buck didn't say anything else...just slapped me on the back and went on his way. But I still couldn't muster up the courage to ask Mary to go to the dance with me and decided on just going anyway and trying to get a dance with her once I got there.
Saturday night came and Cletis Watson's barn was as festive as I'd ever seen anything be in Four Corners. By the time I got there, things were pretty much in full swing. I took my place in the corner with the other guys, watching Ezra with Rachel and JD with Casey already out on the floor.
"Should've seen JD's face when Casey came to the door when he picked her up" Buck nudged me. "I thought his jaw was gonna hit the ground!"
"She does look pretty" I nodded.
And she did, with her hair all done up nice and a pretty dress on. But my eyes were already focused on Mary, who smiled shyly when she saw me looking over at her. She was behind the serving table handing out punch and cake to anyone who came to the table. Her hair looked so pretty....all tied up with a blue satin ribbon...I just looked at her in awe.
The night wore on and I had yet to dance with Mary. I just kept smiling and looking at her from across the room. Finally, I stepped outside to get some air and try and gather up my courage. Ezra would relate to me later what happened while I was gone.
Vin:
Mary walked around the table and came straight across the floor to where the lot of us were congregated.
"Vin, will you dance with me?" she asked me politely.
"No, Ma'am" I shook my head firmly.
"And, why not?"
"'Cos I don't think Chris would like that too much"
"Well, Chris doesn't run my life...does he run yours?"
"Sometimes"
"You come on and dance with me, Vin" Mary was pulling me onto the floor with her. "I'll handle Mr. Larabee if he starts any trouble"
As we were dancing I looked across the floor and saw Chris, leaning against the wall, looking right at us. He reached up and pulled the brim of his hat down, giving me that cold glare of his that I hated to see even when it wasn't aimed at me.
"I'm a dead man" I mumbled lightly, but I never stopped dancing.
Chris:
As soon as Vin was off the dance floor, I took him by the shirt front and pushed him up against the wall.
"Just what the hell did you think you were doin' out there?" I demanded.
"It wasn't my idea!" he defended himself quickly. "She dragged me out there!"
"I'm gonna fix this!" I grunted. I let go of Vin and walked directly over to where Mary was standing back behind the serving tables. "Mary...." I took off my hat and held it in my hands...presumably with my heart and every ounce of courage in my body. "May I have this dance?"
"No, Mr. Larabee" she gave me a cold tone. "You may not"
"Well...Mary...why not?"
"Because apparently you must have threatened every man in this place what you would do to them if they asked me to dance and I don't appreciate that!"
"Not all of 'em" I defended myself. "Just the ones I knew. I was just gonna cut in on any of 'em I didn't know!" I grinned at her, trying to crack a smile out of her, but it wasn't working.
"If you wanted to dance with me, Chris, why didn't you just ask me?" I shrugged my shoulders. "You aren't getting shy on me, now, are you?" I shrugged again.
"Will you dance with me, Mary?" I looked her in the eye. "Please?"
"All right, Chris" she nodded and reached me her hand.
I led her onto the dance floor and took her in my arms. Her hair felt so soft against my hand when it brushed against it when she spun around and she smelled so sweet...I was completely lost in the music and her eyes. I looked across the room and saw Billy dancing in a corner with Charlotte Henson...the night had been just about perfect for all of us...
Before I knew it, the dance was over and I was walkin' Mary back through the town to her home. We walked along, side by side, and I somehow resisted the urge to hold her hand until we got almost to her house. Then, and only then. I reached out gently and took her hand in mine and she looked over and smiled at me. Stopping together at her door, she leaned back against it and looked right into my eyes.
"I had a good time tonight, Chris" she told me quietly. "It was real nice dancin' with you"
"Mary? Would you slap my face if I kissed you?"
"Well, now, you'll just have to take your chances with that, won't you?"
"I'm not the gamblin' man in this bunch, Mary" I shook my head. "I gotta know before I get into this any further"
"Into what?"
"A relationship. It would be real easy, Mary. I've had an eye on you since the day we set foot in this town. And it scares me....scares me a lot..."
"I never knew of Chris Larabee to be scared of anything"
"Well, I'm scared now. Because, you're under my skin and I can't get you out of my head. And if nothing can come of it, I need to know now before you get any further under my skin! You don't have to answer me now....I'll give you time to think about it....but I gotta have an answer....and I gotta have it pretty soon"
With that, having said my piece, I turned and started slowly away from her. I got out into the street and headed for the boarding house when I heard her call me back.
"Chris!" she called after me. I stopped and turned around. "I thought you were gonna kiss me good night"
A smile starting to spread on my face, I walked back over to her. She smiled at me so sweetly I could feel the ice in my heart starting to melt. I took off my hat, put one hand to her face and leaned in carefully, kissing her ever so gently on the lips. She closed her eyes...I was pretty sure I closed mine too....and she put her arms around my neck, holding me to her for just a second or two longer before she let me go.
"Good night, Mary" I told her quietly.
"Good night, Mr. Larabee" she whispered. "I do hope you'll come calling again real soon"
"Count on it" I nodded my head to her.
Then, I put my hat back on and walked backwards into the street, bumping into the hitchin' post and nearly falling over it. I saw her cover her mouth with a twinkle in her eyes...she was laughing at me, I knew. But, it didn't matter right then...
For the first time in a long time, I felt alive again. But that was something I was gonna have to take slow and easy....
The End