Curse of the Red Nose
This story is a sequel to Magical Cats and Sewer Rats and you would know a whole lot more about what is going on if you read that story first.
Summary : It's the day after the events in Magical Cats and Chris is still waiting for an explanation while his agents don't seem too keen to do any actual work.
Chris watched the numbers rise in the elevator display until it matched the floor where his office was located. The elevator stopped and he took a deep breath as the doors slowly opened in front of him.
His jaw wasn't aching quite so much as it had yesterday and he felt he was ready for anything.
Anything, that was, except for the sound of Vin Tanner's quiet voice coming through clear and strong as the elevator doors opened fully.
"Put that down or I'll shoot you," Vin was saying and his voice was so full of deadly intent that Chris almost went for his gun.
"Nope." Chris recognized Buck's voice and immediately relaxed, " I only lent it to you and now I want it back."
"I've earned it!"
"Well, tough for you! It's still mine!"
"Gimme that! " Vin demanded just as Chris stepped out of the elevator.
Chris shook his head at the sounds of a scuffle and stopped abruptly as he spotted something small, round and red rolling towards him over the floor.
It came to rest against one of his black boots and he bent down to pick it up.
"Someone missing a nose?" Chris asked dryly and Vin and Buck both froze and turned towards him with equally guilty expressions. Chris decided to spare Buck for later and focused on Vin who was supposed to be at home and taking it easy.
"How did you get here?" Chris asked neutrally. Vin had the good grace to look as if it had just dawned on him that maybe it would have been a good idea to stay home after all.
"Nathan drove me." Vin said just as Nathan came strolling back from his detour in the break room with a cup of coffee in one hand and a donut in the other.
"Someone mention my name?" he said amiably and smiled. When he noticed that Chris had just arrived his smile faded quickly. "Uh-oh." he said and quickly looked for an escape route.
"Nathan," Chris motioned him with one hand into his office and closed the door behind them.
"I thought you were going to drive him home when he was released from the hospital this morning." It wasn't much of a question, instead it sounded more like an accusation but Nathan wasn't all that alarmed.
"Yeah I went over there with that intention," he told Chris. "But when I was there I got to thinking. Vin is like Houdini when it comes to finding ways to avoid staying home and doing nothing, so I thought I'd better bring him here instead where all of us could keep an eye on him."
"You know," Chris said slowly. "That is actually a pretty good idea. Good thinking. What did the doctor have to say about Vin?"
"That he'll probably have a headache but that he had shown no signs of concussion. The leg is a bit more serious, he needs to keep it elevated so now we have to figure out a way to keep Vin off his feet for at least a couple of days so his ligaments and muscles can start to heal and the swelling can go down."
"Couldn't we just cuff him to his chair or something?" Chris muttered.
"We could tie him up and lock him in the supply closet." Nathan dead-panned and they both looked at each other and grinned. It really was a tempting thought.
Chris opened the door to his office again and ignored the five pairs of eyes that immediately fastened on him and Nathan.
"Thank you, Nathan, for that enlightening report. " Chris said loudly. "And tell that clown over there to see me in my office immediately if he wants his nose back."
"Vin-" Nathan said and tried not to join in the snickering that filled the room as everyone turned to look at Vin.
"Yeah, I heard, I heard." Vin said and hopped into Chris's office as best he could on his crutches.
Chris closed the door behind them and studiously ignored Vin while he took off his black leather coat and placed it on the coat hanger. Behind him he heard Vin clear his throat and softly speak,
"I can tell what you're thinking."
"You can?" Chris turned around, put his briefcase on his chair and started to transfer the papers inside to various spots on his desk.
"Yep," Vin nodded. "- you're thinking - ' And that, your honor, is why I killed him.' "
The right corner of Chris's mouth twitched for a second but that was all the reaction Vin's quote got.
"I think Judge Travis would understand." Chris said. "He might rave at me for all the paperwork it would create but that might even be worth it."
Now that Vin looked at least a tiny bit remorseful it was time to get down to business.
"What is wrong with you?" Chris asked. "Why can't you just stay put and try to heal for once?"
Vin wisely kept his mouth shut while Chris quietly ranted on for some time about ungrateful ATF agents who were too stubborn to know what was good for them and who made their team leader's hair turn completely gray.
"Did the doc clear you even for desk duty?" Chris finally asked and Vin looked a bit uncomfortable.
"No, he wanted me to stay home a couple of days," he admitted before hastily adding, "- but there's nothing wrong with me that a couple of aspirin and a pair of crutches won't cure."
"Yeah, right." Chris snorted. " Okay, you can stay here-"
"I can?" Vin said in surprise.
"-only if you give me your word that you'll stay at your desk and keep that leg elevated."
"I give you my word," Vin said resignedly.
"Good," Chris said and added magnanimously, " You can even do some paperwork if you feel up to it."
"Hurray," Vin muttered without much enthusiasm and Chris had to work real hard on not smiling this time.
"That's it," he said. " You're free to go as long as you stay at your desk and take it easy. You'll do that until the doc says otherwise. Understood?"
Vin nodded and gave Chris a look full of relief. With some difficulty he managed to get his crutches turned around so he could leave.
"I hope you weren't too hard on Nathan," Vin said with his hand on the doorhandle. " I kinda talked him into this."
A smile flashed over Chris's face, unseen by Vin. So Vin hadn't figured it out that Nathan had tricked him yet ... good.
"I let him live, didn't I?" Chris replied. " Don't worry, I know whose fault it is."
"Good," Vin said and frowned slightly as he opened the door. That hadn't sounded exactly reassuring.
"Heads up, cowboy!" Chris suddenly called and Vin turned back in confusion.
"What-?" he was just in time to catch the small red object Chris threw to him.
"Don't forget your nose." Chris said softly and the look on his face was as enigmatic as the Cheshire Cat's except for the fact that he wasn't smiling as much.
+ + + + + + +
"Hey Ezra, could you keep this safe for me?" Ezra looked up to see Vin throw the red nose right at him.
"Certainly," Ezra said and made a show of locking it in his top drawer to keep it out of Buck's reach.
"Is that still sore?" Ezra said as he studied the bump on Vin's forehead that was now surrounded by a huge rainbow colored bruise.
"Yes it is." Vin stated and added as a precaution, " Keep your hands to yourself."
With some difficulty he managed to maneuver his crutches until he could sink down in his chair and put his leg up on a pillow some unknown benefactor - probably Nathan - had supplied on a nearby unoccupied chair.
"Did he give you the glare of death ?" JD asked as he downed a couple of aspirin chased down by a large glass of water.
"Obviously not since Mr Tanner is still with us," Ezra commented.
"Yeah, but he's still got the look." JD insisted and rummaged around in his desk until he found his black sunglasses. He put them on against the bright office lights and sank back in his chair.
"What look ?" Vin asked.
"The kinda glassy look you get in your eyes after having been stared at real hard by Chris." Buck explained. "Casey told JD that Miss Nettie cautioned him once that if he was gonna go around and glare at people he might as well change his name to Glarabee as a warning."
"She never said that." Vin protested but quickly changed his mind when he thought a bit about it. " Okay, if anyone would say something like that it would be her but I can't picture her doing something like that. And I ain't got no special look. Chris never glared at me at all, you're just sitting here and making stuff up 'cause you're bored."
"I agree. You boys have entirely too much free time if you can sit around and think up stories like that." Josiah commented as he picked up his jacket from the back of his chair. "I on the other hand have work to do and a lunch to go to."
"Lunch?" Buck inquired. "It's barely ten."
"It's a business lunch," Josiah said and dared anyone to say anything different.
"Sure," The rest of the team vaguely agreed and went back to their discussion.
"The glare is nothing," Vin said. " No, the worst thing is that you can get nothin' by Chris. He's got eyes in the back of his head."
"Yep. I do." Chris suddenly spoke up behind their backs.
"Geez," JD exclaimed and very nearly jumped out of his skin.
None of them had noticed that Chris had exited his office to go and get some coffee. He was already way past their desks and on his way to the break room when he threw back over his shoulder,
"Not to mention I can hear a pin drop twenty miles away so don't even try it. Now can we get some actual work done here?""This is getting embarrassin', " Vin said as soon as Chris had disappeared from view. That was twice now that Chris had sneaked up on Vin and Buck without them knowing it.
Buck agreed and muttered,
"We should put a bell or something around his neck so we can hear him coming."He quickly shut up as Chris returned with a mug of steaming coffee. Chris stopped as he spotted JD and gently asked,
"JD? Are you okay? Buck could drive you home if you want."
"Thanks, " JD swallowed hard. "- but I'm fine."
"Uh-huh," Chris nodded skeptically but didn't challenge the kid. What would be the use? He had never encountered such a stubborn group of men in his whole life. Instead of wasting time on arguments Chris moved back into his office and settled down to make some calls.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" JD complained as soon as Chris had gone.
"Could be because the color of your face is a perfect match with the green paint on the walls, son. " Josiah said as he moved past them on his way to the elevator.
Nathan gave JD a long look before he turned on Buck.
"Why did you bring that poor kid here?"
"JD insisted that he was a responsible adult." Buck said and continued sarcastically. "And apparently those don't call in sick over such a little thing as a hangover after getting accidentally drugged and very nearly killed."
"I'm fine," JD repeated in a weak voice as he wished that they would all just shut up and leave him alone.
*Watch this* Buck mouthed silently to the others over JD's head and said loudly,
"You know - you're lookin a little peaked there, JD. A good breakfast is what you need. You hardly ate enough today to keep a bird alive. What you say, JD, wanna go and get something?"
"No thanks." JD whispered and swallowed hard. Food was the last thing on his mind right now.
"You sure?" Buck continued. " I know of a place where you can get eggs and bacon just swimming in fat. Now that's a breakfast to keep your energy up all day. The bacon makes that little popping sound when they fry it just like good, greasy bacon does. You've been there, haven't you, Vin?
"Yup," Vin agreed, playing along although his own stomach churned uncomfortably at the mention of food. "- they're just dripping out of the pan and onto your plate. They do a good burger too with hardly any garnish and tons of mayo. They got french fries an inch thick and unbelievably crispy. Must be all that fat."
"I must protest," a voice full of disapproval objected. They turned to look at Ezra who was studying JD's face intently as it turned a new and interesting shade of green. He paused before continuing,
"The pancakes are the only thing worth eating at that place. Just swimming in melted butter and that thick, sweet syrup-"
JD bolted towards the men's room.
Nathan went to check on JD but came back soon enough. He shook his head in disapproval as he looked at Buck, Vin and Ezra.
"You guys are sooo mean." he said just as JD shuffled back into view.
"Just giving the kid an education." Buck sniffed. Could he help it if the kid wouldn't listen to the voice of experience when he'd told him to just stay home and relax?
"Kinda like a big brother, huh Buck?" JD commented dryly as he sank back in his chair again. His face was still pale but he looked a whole lot less green. If the pulse in his head hadn't been pounding so terribly he guessed he would actually have felt a little better.
"It's my sworn duty to remind you now and then of how it feels the day after so you won't get tempted to go out and get really drunk." Buck said piously and ignored the dirty look JD gave him as he handed the kid a large glass of water and something to settle his stomach. It had been the first thing Buck had fetched from the break room that morning in anticipation of a situation just like this.
"The next time you do it I'm throwing up on you." JD warned. " Just to remind you."
The other agents all laughed and Ezra even asked to be called in advance so he wouldn't miss the show and Buck found it all very unfair since Vin and Ezra had been just as active in teasing JD.
"Why don't you throw up on Vin instead?" Buck wanted to know.
"I can't do that, he's hurt," JD protested and Buck rolled his eyes. He was just as hurt as Vin wasn't he? Well - maybe Vin was just a little more hurt than him - a tiny bit.
"Why aren't you home watching TV and letting me have some peace here?" Buck asked Vin.
"Can't." Vin replied. " Ain't got no TV right now."
This statement caught the interest of the others in the group.
"Don't tell me - stolen." Ezra commented without raising his head from his papers.
"No."
"Shot up?" JD asked.
Vin frowned. What did they think about him? He'd never practice target shooting on his TV. That would be plain dumb, not to mention expensive. "No." he said.
"Blown up?" Buck asked.
"No!" Vin protested and gave them all a strange look. He was starting to suspect they must have come from pods hidden under their desks. "What kind of neighbourhood do you think I live in?"
"The worst kind." Nathan muttered, thinking of the numerous times he had patched Vin up himself or driven him to the hospital.
"Shut up," Vin said as he balled up a piece of paper and threw it at Nathan. "The kids knocked it over when they practised some karate moves I've been teaching them for self-defense."
"How to defend yourself against attacking TVs," Buck grinned. " Yeah, I can see that happening a lot."
"Well, Buck, "JD said with a vengeful gleam in his eye. "-when you tripped over those clown shoes and fell just an inch from the TV it jumped and looked a whole lot like it wanted to attack you."
"Clown shoes? " Vin asked and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You told me you slipped in the shower. Which one is it?" he reached out and poked non too gently at Buck with one of his crutches when Buck didn't answer him.
"Don't poke that thing at me!" Buck replied heatedly and pushed the crutch away with one of his own. Within seconds they were involved in a regular duel and JD and Ezra both had to evacuate the area when the fencers shifted positions, Vin still in his chair and Buck hopping around on one foot.
Chris looked up from his computer screen as the muted sound of metal objects hitting each other filtered into his office through the crack in the door. Through the narrow opening he could see Buck's and Vin's crutches become entangled and when they tugged at them Buck suddenly lost his balance and landed on the floor with a resounding thump.
Chris rose from his chair and hesitated for a second whether or not he should go out there and break up the fight or just close the door and ignore it. Before he could make a decision the phone rang. He listened in silence for a while, thanked the caller and hung up.
"Buck," he called just as Buck was about to take a swing at Vin with his crutch from his new position on his back on the floor.
"Yeah?" Buck called back and Chris appeared in the doorway. Chris stoically pretended there was nothing odd with the scene that greeted him.
"I got a message for you." Chris said.
"Oh?" Buck replied a bit out of breath as he was busy getting back on his feet again.
"Yeah. A man who said his name was Joe called and wanted me to thank ...." Chris looked down at the note in his hand so he could quote correctly, "... the big feller called B something and the clown and the penguin."
CRASH! Everyone looked up to see Ezra reaching down for the stapler that had suddenly slipped from his hand.
"Sorry," Ezra muttered and placed the stapler carefully back on his desk.
Chris gave him a long look before he continued,
"Said he had never been so entertained in his whole life and they had good food at the shelter too and a nice lady who helped him make the call. And if you ever need his help you know where he'll be from now on. He figures he owes you that much."Complete silence fell over the office as the agents all absorbed this little bit of news.
"The guy called B something - I guess that is you?" Chris asked Buck. Buck nodded for yes.
"Do I need to know what this is all about?" Chris asked. Buck shook his head for no.
"Good." Chris said and retreated back into his office. Sometimes it was just so much easier not to know what was going on.
+ + + + + + +
The day continued much in this manner with Chris making occasional forays out of his office to see how things were going and finding the team all trying their best to look busy but falling back into discussing weird topics the second he left them.
It was just one of those days when you couldn't get a thing done. Chris was starting to wonder why he had been so stupid as to insist on doing things by the book and get reports from everyone when he could have called in every favor he was owed and gone on vacation in New York instead. It would have been especially nice if he could have sent his team to Hawaii at the same time so he could be totally clueless and as a result achieve maximum peace of mind.
Except ... he knew he wouldn't be able to not know what was going on and would probably run up the worst long distance phone bill ever imagined as he tried to make sure they didn't all accidentally fall into a volcano or something.
Vin would most certainly fall into one at the first available opportunity - look at him... Chris couldn't even send him to do a simple thing as to play a clown for a bunch of sick kids without him getting into a gunfight and falling into the sewers. It was just hopeless. Who was that patron saint of lost causes again? Chris could sure use him right now.
Maybe he should send the team to New York and go to Hawaii himself. Yeah, that idea had potential....
Then as the morning was trembling on the brink of becoming noon it was like the sun broke through the clouds and sent a ray of sunlight right into Chris's heart as he spotted Mary Travis coming towards him with a smile on her face.
"Mr Larabee," she said brightly and he couldn't help but to smile back.
"Let's go into my office," he said.
Chris shut the door and pulled out a chair for her.
"I just wanted to come over and thank you in person," Mary said. " The nurses told me the children loved it and they considered it a great success. They did wonder whatever happened to the magician I promised them though."
"Oh - well - " Chris searched for a reasonable explanation before settling for the cryptical statement, "Ezra was unavoidably detained."
"Something I should know about?" Mary's journalistic instincts sounded an alarm but Chris's face gave nothing away.
"No, not really," he told her. They still hadn't caught Jaxon and he wanted to keep it under wraps until the case was closed " Glad to hear everything went well."
"Oh, yes." Mary said. " I knew I did the right thing by asking you to help out...."
As Mary talked Chris quickly found himself slipping into an almost hypnotized state of relaxation as he listened to the gentle waves in her speech pattern.
Oh, what big and beautiful eyes Mary had. A man could get lost in eyes like that and Chris promptly did although he nodded occasionally so she wouldn't notice that he wasn't really following the conversation anymore.
The way that stray curl had escaped and now shadowed her cheek, he wanted to reach out and touch it to see if it really was as soft as it looked.
*That mouth, those lips....* he thought dreamily. Those lips moving. Moving lips - the sound of her voice saying,
" ... can't thank you enough for agreeing to do this."Uh - what?!
"Hmmm?" He said as he came out of his reverie with a sense of building panic. Not again! Agreed to do what?
Luckily a muted *THUD* interrupted their conversation at that point. Chris stood up abruptly and said,
"Excuse me a moment, " before he rapidly fled the room.He closed the door carefully behind him and surveyed the cubicles. No one was in sight except Ezra and the man had a face like a sphinx that gave nothing away. Walking behind one of the desks he immediately spotted Vin and Buck, both of them down on the floor this time and looking very foolish indeed as they tried to untangle their crutches.
"Either you stop this now or I'll have the two of you transferred to Alaska," Chris warned in a low voice so as not to be overheard by Mary.
Vin blinked.
"That's cold, Chris," he commented laconically and Buck nearly had a fit as he tried unsuccessfully to hold back a guffaw with a hand over his mouth.
Chris's eyes narrowed and he bent down until he could stare at them from barely an inch away. He felt the warm glow of satisfaction when he watched them start to squirm under his gaze.
"Alaska, " he practically snarled at them before he straightened up. He shook his head at the sorry sight of his agents sprawled out on the floor next to the one member of his group who seemed inclined to do any work today.
"Why can't you be more like Ezra?," Chris lamented as he walked back to his office.
Buck and Vin looked at each other and then at Ezra.
"Why can't you be more like Ezra? " they mimicked Chris in perfect chorus while Ezra just gave them a smug grin and a superior glance and made no move whatsoever to help them up.
+ + + + + + +
"I'm sorry, Mary." Chris said as he closed the door once again behind him. "Where were we?"
"I was thanking you for agreeing to hold that talk in Billy's class." Mary repeated patiently.
'Men' she thought. They just couldn't look and listen at the same time and they believed that a woman didn't have a clue whether they were really listening or not just as long as they nodded or muttered something once in a while.
It could be quite an endearing quality at times. Chris was just so cute when he got that look of panic in his eyes. It made her want to reach out and smooth that hair away from his forehead and kiss him - she stopped herself just before she started to lean forward in her chair and blushed slightly.
Seeing her blush made Chris smile and they were lost for a moment in each others eyes.
"What was the date again?" Chris asked and Mary told him. He looked in his calender and marked the date seeing how he had nothing else important to do that day.
"Maybe afterwards I can make dinner for all of us?" Mary asked and Chris found that he would like that very much. Sitting down and eating dinner with a family like a normal being again. He had been missing that for far too long.
"Chris - you think the team would be interested to make another visit come Christmas time?"
"Ah - Mary - ahum - I don't really know," he stalled as he tried to think of a polite way to turn her down but she just laughed when she saw his face.
"Don't worry," she said. " I've already asked Oren to play Santa and he has blackmailed or bribed his staff into playing along, I haven't asked how he did it. You're officially off the hook."
She laughed again at the relieved look on his face and he tried to look angry at being conned but failed miserably.
"Thanks," he took a deep breath. "We've got our hands full at the moment. Buck and Vin are hopping around on crutches out there and driving me-" he broke off. She really didn't need to know all that so why was he telling her?
Because she was smart and beautiful and the only one he had met today who acted like she was more than five years old? Or because she was like a terrier with a bone whenever she thought she had gotten wind of a story and so he had to stop her right now from digging deeper into yesterday's adventure?
"Yeah, I could see that they were on crutches," she turned serious. "What happened? Are they gonna be all right?"
What had happened? Well, if he had only known that himself he would have been able to decide whether or not to tell her anything but the fact was that he still had barely a clue. The clues that he did have were a strange mixture of drug dealers, clowns and cats and anyone who tried to make sense of it was immediately doomed to a life of intense therapy. As soon as he got everyone's reports he might understand something. Or maybe not.
But since he couldn't tell her all that he went with an old and well-rehearsed excuse for all kinds of damages that he had used ever since he was old enough not to tell his parents everything he got up to.
"They collided with each other as they played a game of basketball. Hurt their knees and ankles as they landed."
"Oh that's a shame," she actually seemed to buy that explanation. "But what about JD? He didn't look well at all."
"They landed on him," Chris said and nodded solemnly and she winced as she could picture it all in her mind.
"Ouch, poor JD," Mary was filled with sympathy now.
"Don't mention to them that I told you this," Chris said. "They feel it's a matter of pride and don't want to talk about it." That should stave off any unwanted questions at least for a while.
Mary nodded. She knew all about how touchy some guys were about certain subjects so the request didn't seem strange to her.
"I understand, my lips are sealed," she said and Chris felt a pang of guilty conscience at having lied to her. His only comfort was that she would probably kill him the second she found out that he had hid something from her and so he wouldn't need to suffer his guilty conscience for long.
"Thanks for coming by, Mary," Chris said as he escorted her to the elevator.
"Tell them they did good and that I'm very grateful towards them for volunteering."
"I will," Chris said and smiled. As soon as the elevator doors closed he let out a deep sigh. Whew! Mary should come with a warning label. That had been close.
He had almost volunteered them all again and who knew what would have happened this time. He needed to have his head checked. Or maybe he needed a drink. Or a team that would stop bickering.
Maybe all of the above and not necessarily in that order either.
+ + + + + + +
Vin didn't have the best of afternoons either. Buck had been grinning at him for a while now and he didn't relish finding out why. A second later he found out he had been right when he had dreaded the moment because Buck suddenly burst into song.
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny no-oose" Buck sang, enjoying the way everyone winced when he deliberately hit a false note. For the next line he was joined by Nathan and Ezra.
"And if you ever saw it you would even say it glows."
Vin glared at all of them. He wasn't quite as good at it as Chris but good enough to freeze most men in their tracks. Unfortunately his colleagues seemed to be immune today.
That damn clown suit! Immediately he had put that on he had felt it was trouble. He should have known that they would never respect him ever again. Once a clown - always a clown.
"Sing something else!" he growled and the song dissolved into laughter
Ezra suddenly looked up like a bloodhound sniffing a new scent.
"How about - Here comes the man in black," he sang quietly a second before Chris's door suddenly opened and Chris stepped out to look at them all.
The five agents hastily busied themselves with their paperwork but Chris wasn't fooled one bit and commented dryly,
"If you ladies have finished with your choir practice then maybe we can finally get some work done here? Ezra, I want to talk to you. Right now."
As quickly as the door had opened it closed again and left them staring at the blank surface.
"Who was that Masked man?" Buck declared dramatically and laughter filled the room.
"At least you know that the Lone Ranger would never dream of killing a man without giving him a chance to defend himself." JD told Ezra.
"That is certainly reassuring, " Ezra said and took a deep breath before he opened the door and stepped into the lion's den.
"What is this?" Chris indicated a pile of papers an inch thick that had practically taken over his desk.
"It's my report." Ezra answered. "You did state that you wanted a full report. This is as detailed as I could possibly get it."
Chris looked down at the sad remnants of a dead forest. No kidding. Details. Too many details. Ezra must have been typing since dawn and it would probably take Chris until midnight to read it through.
"Give me the abbreviated version." he challenged Ezra as he started to browse through the pages.
"Well - " Ezra hesitated. "I don't really know where to start. We left the office at approximately-"
"What the hell is this?!" Chris suddenly interrupted Ezra as he skipped to the very end of the pile. Ezra threw a glance at the paper Chris held out to him and calmly said,
"It's an account of what was lost complete with the estimated cost to replace it.""It's three pages long! " Chris said accusingly.
"One suit, one silk cape and a pair of shoes ruined." Ezra stood his ground. None of it had been his fault after all. "Several bulletholes in my car not to mention the need for re-upholstery and some other important details. Also there was this gun I was particularly fond of since it was brand new."
"What happened to it?" Chris asked as he glanced at Ezra's report that he swore was making his desk sag in the middle under its weight.
"Vin lost it as he fell down the shaft."
"Vin lost his gun?" It was unthinkable. Chris had seen Vin fall over all number of objects and still come up with guns blazing. It was practically glued to his hand.
"No." Ezra clarified. "Vin lost my gun."
"How could he lose your gun? Where was his gun?"
"I suggest you ask him." Ezra said politely and added, " Oh and the last item on the list actually belongs to Mr Wilmington, although I must admit I had a hand in making it disappear."
"One crutch." Chris read out loud. He closed his eyes and counted to ten before he looked up at Ezra.
"Ezra - " he started slowly before he exploded. "Are you out of your mind?"
When he saw Ezra open his mouth to say something Chris quickly waved his hands in a dismissive gesture. "Never mind. I've got your report. It's fine. Now get out of here."
As soon as Ezra had left the room Chris got up and moved to the doorway where he could survey his domain. His agents all seemed to be occupied with various things but when you looked more carefully you noticed that none of them were really focused on what they were supposed to be doing. Instead they were arguing again and Buck and Vin were starting to fence for the third time that day like they both thought they were Zorro.
He had tried to put them on the right track all day and this was how it turned out? Time to get nasty.
Chris cleared his throat. No reaction. He did it again, louder now, and this time his team turned around and gave him their full attention.
"Mary wanted you to know that the hospital was well pleased with what you did. Now ... as you all know Christmas is only some weeks away. I hope you haven't made any plans yet because I volunteered you all to go and entertain the same ward you were all supposed to be entertaining yesterday. You can decide for yourself who gets to be Santa and who gets to be elves. With that red nose I think Vin would make a great Rudolph, don't you?"
When he found they were too shocked to react immediately, he quickly said,
"That's all." and strolled back into his room. Behind him everyone started to speak as one as they absorbed his message."Chris, you didn't-" Buck said.
"Cowboy-" Vin warned.
"I must protest-" Ezra objected.
"Is that really wise, Chris?" Nathan wondered.
He pushed his door shut and settled down at his desk. He'd let them sweat for a while and then he'd tell them the truth - that he'd only volunteered himself this time in a totally unrelated matter.
A few minutes later Chris tiptoed up to his office door and laid an ear against it. He listened for a long while but all he could hear was some occasional rustles of paper being shuffled and the faint sound of dedicated typing. No voices, no singing, no bickering or fighting. Just the blessed sound of silence as his agents all did their duty.
Ha! He had really scared them this time.
Satisfied that his plan had worked he leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the desk in a move he would normally have done only if he was certain he was alone in the building.
He listened some more. Still silent.
Well, what do you know. This time it seemed like he had actually gotten the last word.
+ + + + + + +
Except for one thing....
On the other side of the wall four pairs of eyes were glued to the spot where JD was standing with his ear to Chris's door. The others had sent him to listen in on what Chris was up to since he was the youngest and the least likely to be reprimanded. Hearing nothing exciting he tiptoed back to his desk.
"Anything?" Vin whispered the question on everyone's mind.
JD just shook his head and shrugged.
"I think I heard him laughing but I'm not sure, " he whispered back. The five agents shivered as if the room had suddenly become much colder. This was it then - they were doomed.
"You shouldn't have kept it. This is your fault," Buck suddenly looked accusingly at Vin. Neither of them was especially attached to the nose but the question of who possessed it had become a matter of prestige between them now.
"My fault?" Vin hissed back. "Like hell it is."
"It's the nose - it's cursed." Ezra quietly determined as he thought back on everything that had happened since they had left the office just yesterday.
"Not that I'm superstitious or anything but I think Ezra may be right," Nathan said with reluctance. Things did seem to have gone wrong ever since they had dressed Vin up as a clown.
Vin looked to JD for support but he just looked away.
"Fine," Vin said in a low voice as he tried to keep his temper under control. "I'll get rid of it so none of us can have it and then all of you can rest easy. Okay?"
After Ezra had handed him the red nose he hobbled away on his crutches and was gone for several long minutes before he slowly returned.
"It's gone," he reported.
"How...?" JD dared to ask.
"Threw it out the window," Vin said. He had barely gotten his leg elevated again before the elevator pinged and Josiah's heavy steps could be heard.
"Someone missing a nose?" his deep voice flowed towards them as the man himself threw a slightly grimy red object on Vin's desk. JD and Buck stared at it in horror.
"Where did you get that?" Vin asked grimly as he looked at the red clown nose.
"It fell down right in front of Cuervo who picked it up on the street outside and brought it to me. I thought you might want it, " Josiah replied, a bit confused at the looks he was getting. "What?" he asked.
"That's it," Vin said. "I give up. It really is cursed."
"Better start learning the reindeer song, Vin," Ezra told him, not without sympathy for his plight.
Vin groaned and hid his face in his hands.
This was a nightmare -no- this was even worse .... this was Christmas!
"Ho-ho-help!" he muttered and closed his eyes in misery as Buck started singing that song again. Maybe he could cut the nose in two and use it as earplugs instead.
No, he'd better not touch the nose. Things could only get worse if he destroyed the nose so he'd just have to resign himself to playing Rudolph instead.
Rudolph - the red-nosed reindeer.
Vin - the unhappy reindeer.Yeah, it had - unfortunately - a certain ring to it.
He sighed and looked at the nose on his desk. Darn!
"I'm not putting on antlers!" the unhappy reindeer-to-be growled and hopped off towards Chris's office.
A man had to have at least some pride.
He opened the door without knocking first and was surprised to see Chris scramble to get his feet off the desk and move back to a more conventional mode of sitting down.
"Don't you know how to knock!" Chris said a bit flustered.
"Sorry, but I refuse to put on antlers and play reindeer," Vin said as he closed the door behind him. " I can't do it. Even for you. If you want to you can have my badge. That nose is cursed and either it goes or I go."
"Vin..." Chris sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He waved towards one of the chairs.
"Sit down."
When Vin had settled himself Chris continued,
"You won't have to. Judge Travis is playing Santa this year. ""Oh ... alright then," Vin said, sounding a bit forlorn as he tried to adjust to this sudden shift in fortune. His eyes suddenly narrowed as he noticed the casual way Chris was slumped in his chair. The desk was empty and the computer was turned off. It was hard to believe for Vin but it actually looked as if Chris had been doing nothing.
"We thought you were in here working." Vin said.
Chris just shrugged.
"If you can't beat them, join them," he said. "I've given up on trying to get things done around here today. I've decided it's a lost cause. Want any of Miss Nettie's special lemonade? It's very good."
"Sure," Vin said and Chris poured him a glass. " Chris - you do know why this lemonade is so special, don't you?"
"Mhm, sure. Miss Nettie spices it up some. Why?"
"Just thinking maybe you shouldn't have too many glasses if you're gonna do any driving later."
"Psht," Chris dismissed Vin's concerns. "I can take the bus and stay in town somewhere. Took it yesterday. Nothing to it. "
"It's late," Vin countered with. "Maybe Nathan can drive us both home."
"That's a good idea," Chris said. "You can stay at the ranch."
Vin didn't look too thrilled but he was too tired to get in any arguments so he agreed to stay with Chris at the ranch even though it meant that he would be under rigorous surveillance.
Out in the main office area Buck was still singing and Vin took a sip out of his glass. Sometimes you just couldn't win.
"No Rudolph this year. " Chris said as Buck once again hit a false note. "Next year maybe."
"I'll quit before then," Vin said resolutely.
"Okay." Chris shrugged again.
"Fine." Vin said.
Chris took another sip out of his glass and murmured,
"It's a shame to waste such a fine red nose, though....""Shut up, Chris."
"Okay."
And so the curse of the red nose was finally broken.
The End