Payback in Pink
Character Focus: Chris, Vin, Buck, JD, Ezra
Summary: It’s Easter, and a special surprise has been planned for the children of Four Corners
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. I don’t own the rights to the Magnificent Seven and I don’t make any money from this work.
Thanks: to Angela for the usual awesome beta job and to everyone on the Vinfeedback List who keeps encouraging me to write more M7!
Notes: This is the fifth in a series of short, dialogue-only stories. The earlier stories are: Diversionary Tactics, Retaliatory Measures, Escalating Hostilities and Evening the Score. You might want to read these first!
“Hope you boys are all planning to be in church for my Easter sermon tomorrow.”
“Wouldn’t miss it, Josiah. Me and Buck’ll be there in the front pew. Won’t we Buck?”
“Well, the thing is, JD, I kind of have something I gotta do.”
“Anythin’ we kin help with, Bucklin?”
“Oh, I think I have it covered, Vin. The delightful Martha Warbler’s invited me on a picnic for the day—”
“But Buck! You’ll miss the children’s Easter egg hunt!”
“Well, that’s a real shame JD, but some opportunities just can’t be missed.”
“You git everythin’ done, Josiah?”
“Pretty much. Nathan and Ezra were out this afternoon hiding eggs in the schoolhouse garden. Should be plenty for all the children to find a couple each.”
“Yer kiddin’ me. Ezra hidin’ eggs?”
“He owed me one. And with the big surprise, it should be a perfect afternoon.”
“What big surprise, Josiah?”
“Now, Buck, if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise. Vin, you sure you got everything covered?”
“Sure do, Josiah.”
“Vin, you’re looking mighty pleased with yourself. What’s going on?”
“Bucklin, all I kin say is, was I you, I’d cancel my picnic with the lovely Nancy, ’cause this is surely gonna be an afternoon no-one’ll ever forgit.”o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
“Hey, Chris.”
“Vin. How’d you enjoy Josiah’s sermon?”
“Ain’t really my kinda thing, but he sure kin make his words sound purty.”
“That he can. You off to Nettie’s for dinner?”
“Yeah. After the Easter egg hunt.”
“Wouldn’t have thought that’d be your thing, Vin.”
“Pard, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. How ’bout you?”
“Kind of promised Mary and Billy I’d be there.”
“Well, I’m headin’ over to the schoolhouse now, promised Josiah I’d help him set up. You headin’ to Mary’s?”
“Yup.”
“See ya later, then.”o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
“Chris, you’re just in time!”
“Howdy, Mary. All right, Billy?”
“Mr. Larabee! It’s delightful to see you!”
“Uh… nice to see you, too, Mrs. Peabody. Mary didn’t tell me you were joining us.”
“Silly boy! Where else would I be? It’s my job to look after the guest of honor.”
“The guest of honor?”
“Mr. Larabee— may I call you ‘Chris’? —I just don’t know how to thank you enough for stepping in at the last moment and volunteering to help us this afternoon.”
“Volunteer—”
“When I ran into Mr. Tanner yesterday and told him about our little problem, I had no idea he’d come up with a solution so quickly. He’s such a clever man and so handsome!”
“A solution?”
“Of course. My brother Will was going to do it, but he broke his arm yesterday, and I was getting quite desperate to find a replacement at such a late hour. And then Mr. Tanner mentioned that you and Will are about the same size and said he was sure you’d be willing to help. Well, when he came back and told me you’d agreed to do it, I was just overjoyed!”
“He told you I volunteered to help.”
“Chris, is something wrong? I must say, I was a little surprised that you’d agreed to do this, but I think you’ll look very – charming.”
“Charming? Just what exactly did Vin … what’s that in the box?”
“Well, your suit, of course. Isn’t it wonderful? Mrs. Jenkins is such a clever seamstress. She used three wolf pelts and dyed them to the appropriate color.”
“It’s… it’s…”
“And aren’t the ears delightful? Tanned leather stuffed with hay. I hope they won’t be too heavy. Though I must say, I think the feet are the crowning glory. Mrs. Jenkins will be along shortly to sew you into them.”
“It’s… it’s….”
“An Easter Bunny suit! Of course it is! You didn’t think you were going to play the Easter Bunny in all that awful black clothing, did you? … Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to insult your habitual choice of clothing, but really, we can’t have you scaring all the children away!”
“Mrs. Peabody. Really. I can’t possibly—”
“Oh, it’s so exciting that one of our very own lawmen is taking part today – what a wonderful example for everyone. I do so hope Mr. Tanner was correct and the costume fits. The children would be so bitterly disappointed if their special surprise failed to make an appearance. … Ah, here comes Mrs. Jenkins. I’ll leave you in her very capable hands while I go and check that Mr. Sanchez has everything under control. Goodbye for now!”
“Chris? Are you all right? You look a bit pale.”
“Mary, this is … Vin … when I get my hands on that sorry excuse for a Texan, I’m gonna get my hands round his scrawny neck and I’m gonna squeeze–”
“Chris, really!”
“Mary, you don’t understand. I can’t–”
“Chris Larabee, are you getting cold feet? Well, you should have thought of that when you agreed to do this and…”
“I didn’t—”
“… it’s too late to back out now. You heard the Widow Peabody – the children would be so disappointed. ... Don’t give me that look. Go and put the suit on. The hunt starts in less than an hour!”o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
“Well, children, it’s so lovely to see you all here on this beautiful Easter afternoon. Now, as you know, there are eggs for everyone hidden somewhere in the garden, so nobody need miss out. But before you go off to look for them, I want to introduce someone very, very special who’s going to help you find them.”
“The Widow Peabody’s a force to be reckoned with, isn’t she Buck?”
“Sure is, JD.”
“I wouldn’t want to get on her wrong… Hey, would you look at that! What’s it supposed to be? It looks like a big pink rabbit!”
“It is a pink rabbit, JD, you blockhead. That’s the Easter Bunny. Didn’t they have them where you grew up? … Pretty impressive. How can it walk with those feet? And those ears!”
“The nose and whiskers are good, too. What d’you think they’re made of? Must be real hot in there, too, don’t you think, Buck? I wonder who’s in the suit?”
“Mr. Dunne, it is possible my eyes are deceiving me, but if you look closely, I do believe you’ll find that the Easter Bunny is our very own leader, Mr. Larabee.”
“Can’t be! What do you think, Buck?”
“Are you kiddin'? Chris would never – well, I’ll be … darn it, JD, I think Ezra’s right! I’d recognize that mean Larabee glare anywhere. How d’you reckon they conned him into doing it? Surely even Mary couldn’t just charm him into that get up!”
“Well, the large grin plastered over Mr. Tanner’s face leads me to extrapolate that our esteemed sharpshooter had a hand in this.”
“I was wondering when he’d get Chris back for setting him up to take Nancy Willard to the dance.”
“Indeed, Mr. Dunne. I myself have been pondering that very same question.”
“Now, children, do behave. Please show Mr. Bunny some courtesy and stop pulling at his ears – no, Johnny, it isn’t polite to try to pull Mr. Bunny’s nose off. Susie, dear, leave those whiskers alone! … Now, it’s time to start the egg hunt. On the count of three, I want you to spread out and start looking. One, two – three!”
“Hey, Ezra, what’s Chris doing now? Isn’t he supposed to be helping the children hunt for eggs?”
“Mr. Dunne, I believe our Easter Bunny has a less charitable objective in mind.”
“So why isn’t Vin running?”
“JD, what do you think Chris is gonna do in that suit, hug him to death?”
“TANNER, I’m gonna tear you limb from limb!”
“Aw, now come on, Chris. Ya sure look cute with them ears and them feet an’ all. And the childr’n love ya.”
“Stop moving and let me get my hands on you, you no-good–”
“Now, Cowboy, yer jist doin’ yer civic duty. Ya should be proud… what’re ya doin’? Don’t – oomph!”
“Ouch! That had to hurt. You think Vin’s all right under there?”
“He’s fine, JD. See? He’s squirmed his way out. All he needs to do is keep out of range of those feet.”
“A pertinent observation, Mr. Wilmington. Although, I fear Mr. Larabee may have some difficult in regaining his – feet.”
“Where’s one of those photographer people when you need them?”
“Indeed. A reminder of this auspicious occasion would have been a very advantageous item to hold in our possession. ... Mr. Wilmington, perhaps we should go to Mr. Larabee’s aid? He appears unable to right himself.”
“Are you kiddin’, Ez? I ain’t goin’ near him while he has that murderous glint in his eye. Why don’t we go get a drink in the saloon? I’m sure Josiah can handle this.”
“Buck, where’s Vin?”
“Over there, JD, mounting Peso. Be puttin’ a fair bit of distance between himself and Chris if he has a lick of sense. Now, c’mon boys, let’s go. I need a drink.”
“TANNER! YOU GET YOUR WORTHLESS BUCKSKIN HIDE BACK HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME–”
“Happy Easter, Cowboy!”The End