Feedback: Yes Please:-)
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Chris/Vin
Universe: ATF
Warnings: Vin in particular has a real potty mouth in this one, please forgive him, he's just a tad frustrated.
"OW!""Ow?"
"Ya've caught my damn zipper, Chris."
"Oh...ouch."
"Could ya stop fuckin' tugging?"
"Vin, I'm kinda on the clock here. So what if I rip your jockeys?"
"It's not my underwear that's caught. Ya told me to go commando, remember? One false step and I'll be singin' soprany."
"Fuck."
"Only If I get these jeans off."
"I can't even get my hand down there. Are they fucking sprayed on?"
"If I 'member, ya love these jeans for that very reason. Y'said white made me look 'all ass' and wearing them was a blatant invitation I wanted to be fucked."
"Only by me. Anyone else tries it, they're dead."
"They're not gonna get fuckin' far are they? Will you stop fuckin' yankin', y'all rippin' my fuckin' pubic hair out."
"Language, Tanner. We'll get them off, no problem and then we can get ourselves off."
"Ya said that four hours ago."
Chris sighed silently. There was nothing more pissy than a horny, frustrated Vin Tanner; something he'd realised more and more since they'd become lovers.
Vin pretty much always wanted some.
They had spent seven celibate days at a conference in NJ with the rest of the team. As much as they loved the guys, having them constantly in earshot meant that they had only snatched brief hard kisses and the only thing that kept them going was the promised downtime on their return. Chris was to take Vin on a fishing trip to his secluded cabin in the woods where they could make as much noise as they liked.
Vin made plans to hide Chris's rod.
Chris had a plan too, which involved driving to the cabin, parking up and dragging Vin off to have hot alfresco sex in the woods. He'd thought of everything; repellent \endash some bites were definitely not welcomed, comfy blanket, lubricant, a bottle of Rye and sexy tracker to go.
The trip to the cabin had gone without a hitch, they hadn't even unpacked the car but had immediately settled in some sheltered spot and were in the process of ripping each other's clothes off, when Chris suddenly stilled and listened intently.
"What is it?" whispered Vin.
"I thought I heard...." He stood up abruptly, peering over some local flora; his dick was now at a perfectly convenient height for Vin to wrap his lips around.
"Mmmmm....."
"Fuck!"
Vin, who had been sucking a bulging mouthful of rock hard cock with enthusiasm, now had a disconcertingly limp piece of flesh resting on his tongue.
"Um' ris?" he grumbled.
"Get dressed. Now! There's a girl scout troop heading our way."
"What?"
"Fucking get dressed."
Vin scrambled into his clothes. "Peace and solitude is what ya said." Accusation laced his voice.
"Vin, have we really got time for this now?" Chris pointedly looked down at Vin's crotch. "Can you put it away already?"
"It's not that easy."
"Well, think of something. Fucking resilliance of youth." Chris's tone suggested unwilling admiration and a hint of jealousy.
"Y'all think a' somethin'."
"Fuck. I don't know. Travis doing the dance of the seven veils."
"Ewwww! Keep goin'."
"Josiah clipping his toenails."
Oh yuck. More, give me more."
"Ezra in a dress!"
"It's workin' cowboy, quick now, one more digustin' image."
"Buck in his pink drawers."
"Yes, that's it!"
Chris grabbed hold of Vin and clumsily stuffed everything back in and swiftly zipped up his jeans.
"Thanks, Larabee," he sighed in real gratitude as the shouting girls sounded closer.
"Why is there a troop of scouts on your land?"
"Welllllll...ummm...I forgot. This must be the weekend of their annual woodland camp-out, I sorta give them permission."
"Fucking great!"
"I didn't forget on pur......"
"Mr. Larabee! Oh! Thank goodness." The troop leader was obviously worried.
"It's Special Agent Larabee, Ma'am." He smiled at her in a reassuringly charming manner. "How can I help?"
"Three of my girls are missing...."
00:10
"It was hardly my fault that old droopy drawers lost her girls.""Funny, she didn't seem 'at bothered about their plight when she kept draggin' ya off inta the undergrowth to look for them. She was feelin' no pain."
"I was helping her."
"She knew those woods like the back of her hand, we were goin' round in circles. Four Hours! Remind me again - where did we find them?"
Chris was sheepish. "Ummm...."
"Yes, fuckin' back at their camp, havin' a great time making S'mores."
Chris decided to change the subject. "Let's get you out of those jeans. We can try soap."
00:30
"Okay, this does not seem to be working.""Ya think?" snarled Vin.
"On the upside, you do have a really clean zipper and a crotch that's scented like lillies."
"Chris, I don't care if I smell like Bucklin's jockstrap. I need to get outta these jeans, before my circulation is cut off."
"Cut off! That's it."
"No."
"But..."
"Forget it."
"Vin, I'm gonna explode."
"They cost all of thirty dollars. I'm not cuttin' them off."
"A measly thirty bucks, I'll buy you some more," Chris wheedled shamelessly.
"I don't care. No."
01:00
"Hey! I've got an idea."Vin woke from his light slumber. "Ya have?"
"Yeah. You hold on to the bedstead and I'll tug at your jeans."
"Hmmmm..." Vin tried hard not to sound dubious.
"C'mon, what have we got to lose? Nothing except two painfully hard dicks."
Vin arranged himself on the bed.
"Right, you get a firm grip and I'll pull like crazy."
"That's what you said the first time you suckered me inta bed."
"Very funny. Now hold tight."
02:00
"Oh.""Ahhhhhhhhhh."
"Oh god, Chris."
"Jeeeeeeezus."
"Owowowowowowowowow."
"Stop! You're breaking my arms."
"Forget sprayed on, they are fucking glued on." Chris slumped tiredly down on the bed beside his pissy lover.
"I now know how bein' spread eagled by 'paches felt like."
"Well, you've always said you'd like to be taller." Chris smirked. "You might be six feet now."
"Fuck off, Larabee. Vin turned away from his lover, who immediately followed and began trailing a coaxing hand up Vin's lithe, supple arm.
"Tanner?"
"What?"
"I don't want to come off as a selfish bastard, but you could do me."
"Scuse me?"
"There's no reason for us both to go without. You could suck me off. It might make you feel better."
"Let me get this straight. Y'all want me to give ya a blowjob, even though I can't get any in return and if I get in the least turned on, there's a good chance my dick will turn blue and drop off."
"Is that a no?"
"No, it's not a no. It's a fuck off and die. Horribly."
"Just checking."
03:15
"Vin?""Fuck off!"
"Okay."
04:05
"What about a hand job?""No thanks."
"For me."
"What I said."
"You're such a hard hearted bastard. I'm dying of frustration here."
"Chris, y'all have two hands."
"So?"
"Pick one."
"What? Jerk myself off? I've not had to do that for months."
"You'd better get some practice in. 'Cause if ya disturb me once more, you're gonna become intimately reacquainted with your right hand."
"............"
"Chris?"
"This is me, shutting up."
"Good."
04:45
"What the fuck are ya doin' now?""I'm lubing it up."
"What on earth for?"
"Well, apparently it will make it slide down much more easily. I hooked up the laptop and checked it out."
"Is it working?"
"Not really."
"Shocker."
05:40 Sunrise
"Hey! Wat'cha doing out here?""I woke up. I really need to get these jeans off now."
"Yes! Now you're talking, Vin. Let me go find something to cut them off with."
"Hurry, Chris. I can't wait."
"I'm on it. Woke up with morning wood, did ya? What can I say? Who wouldn't, waking up with yours truly?"
"Now ya sound like Bucklin. HURRY. THE. FUCK. UP!."
Chris rushed into the cabin and returned with some scissors.
"Hold on and I'll try not to cut something I shouldn't."
"Funny, Larabee."
"Fuck, this is hard. I'm not gonna cut here. I might do some damage to one of the things that makes my life worth living."
"Prick."
"Yes!"
"No, y'all are a prick. Can't you go any quicker?"
"Okay, let's try the ass end."
Vin turned around and presented his rear to his lover.
"Tanner. I just can't. What if I cut you? The scar will remind me and I'll never get it up again."
"Chris! If you don't get these jeans off me in the next sixty seconds, you will never have to worry about getting it up...ever. I will be cuttin' somethin' off myself. Do I make myself clear?"
Chris gulped and got to work. Soon, white denim was pooled around Vin's feet.
"Yes!" cried Chris in triumph. "At last."
He moved to take his wilful lover into his arms.
"Get off me, Larabee," snarled Vin.
"Whaaa?"
"I've gotta fucking go."
"Go?"
"Yes, GO."
"You mean you wouldn't entertain cutting them off to have hot sex with me, but to go the freakin' toilet you will? Thanks for nothing." Chris was talking to himself. Vin was in the bathroom moaning with pleasured relief. Chris could not convince even himself that Vin sounded that ecstatic when in bed with him.
Chris looked sourly at the newly risen sun. "No sense in wasting this fine morning. I'm gonna do some fishing."
Suddenly a warm, naked body was pressed to his back and an exploring hand delved beneath the waistband of his jeans.
"Hmmmm! I seem to have caught something. It feels like a big 'un," came a sensuous, sultry whisper. A capable hand began firmly massaging Chris's hardening length.
"Silly me, it's not a fish - I've found your rod and it's very impressive."
"Mmmm."
"I don't know much about fishing, Cowboy, but I think I can find something to bait your hook."
"Urgggghhhhh."
Vin knelt down between Chris's splayed legs.
"And extend your pole."
"Oh God, Vin."
"I just need to reel you in first."
Finis