The four pies — Chris, Vin, Buck, and Nathan — were joined by a fifth. Chris was surprised that Ezra had shown up; only the day before, the southern favorite had seemed reluctant — thought Nathan was a bad apple and didn't want anything to do with him. But the key lime pie had decided to take the gamble, and all because Chris was now a celebrity. Beneath Ezra's sterling silver pie pan was a newspaper — today's newspaper — which read:
MASTICATION ON MAIN STREET
The streets were slick with the saliva of twenty men yesterday as new resident and notorious baked good, Chris Larabee, upset our quiet town with a food fight.The nerve of that woman! Chris's custard filling was near curdling. How dare she! He wouldn't just sit still for that woman's libelous remarks.
Inside The Clarified-Butter News office, Mary Travis looked up from behind her Kitchen Aid mixer. Before her was none other than the pie in the dark pan, Chris Larabee."I see you've read it," she said matter-of-factly.
As Chris recalled, her quiet town was full of hungry scum looking to lunch a pie.
His glare prompted her to explain: "If I have to break a few eggs to keep our town safe, and if the next bunch of hungry scum decide to eat elsewhere, then it was worth another black mark on your already less-than-golden crust, Mr. Larabee. You see, I took the liberty of researching your recipe in my late grandmama's cookbook."
Chris couldn't believe what she was actually saying. This woman reads some old lady's chicken scratch and she thinks she knows a pie. She doesn't know him!
But Mary continued, foolishly unintimidated. "I'm just trying to scare the bad ingredients away from this town."
Chris Larabee glared again, his custard solid in his firm crust. "Lady," he wanted to tell her, "I am the bad ingredient!"
THE END
May 2002Please do NOT repost this recipe anywhere outside of the Blackraptor website and cookbook.Characters from "The Magnificent Seven," were used without permission and this recipe in no way signifies support of, or affiliation with, The Mirisch Group, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment, CBS Worldwide, Inc., or Betty Crocker. This recipe belongs to the chef and will not be sold for any reason.