SNIPPET 1 : WHAT MAKES YOU STAY

By Thalia

Disclaimer and the rest: See first page

Notes: "What Makes You Stay" is performed by Deanna Carter

Pairing: From Chris to Vin

Summary: A few bad weeks, a bad end to a mission, long days of rain and here are the guys, at the saloon, where the atmosphere doesn't really help since everybody has the blues. The jukebox plays on and Chris wonders about Vin…

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Chris thought back to their last case. It should have been such a simple one. But ever since they had started working on it, things had been unearthed that had their hearts aching. Children used as canon fodder by gun runners 'testing' the equipment. A leak among the police force that almost had Vin killed even before he was to meet the seller as Ezra's bodyguard.

Chris could still remember the fear that gripped his heart when he heard the AK-47 spitting bullets, the screams of the bystanders hit and those trying to reach cover. It wasn't the first time Vin was used as target practice. Hell, they'd all been through it several times already. But it was the first time his lover was shot at.

The two of them getting together had been at the same time expected and unexpected. Chris had always loved his wife Sarah, and after he lost her, he had given up on loving again. Even the beautiful Mary Travis and her fiery character couldn't get his heart beating again, and not for lack of trying. And then, one day, about four weeks ago, after he and Vin had been walking the trails behind his ranch, it had happened.

There, on the edge of the little stream crossing the higher pastures, Vin had leaned in, trying to explain to him how Indians used to catch fishes bare-handed… jokes and insults had been traded… and Vin had managed to catch a fish bare-handed and had turned to him, eyes wide in childlike wonder and pride and the blue eyes had struck a cord in his heart. The sudden swelling of a heart that he had thought dead had panicked him to no end. And he had turned tail and fled.

Vin had caught up with him in the barn, as he was wondering how he could face his best friend again and not embarrass himself. He had been turned around by a firm hand and had looked down incredibly blue eyes filled to the brim with love and understanding. And the kiss they had exchanged then, their very first kiss had been a glimpse of Paradise. That night had been their first and the week- end had been a loop out of time itself.

After those two days, fear had reared its ugly head and he had wondered again and again if their relationship was leading them anywhere. And the case they had been assigned had them struggle with bitter memories.

And the only thing helping him stay afloat, his only hope and light in what had proved to be their worst case yet, had been the love he could read in the blue eyes each time they would cross his green ones. It had been the strength he could find in the arms encircling him each night as they went to sleep. It had been in the steady heartbeat of one single man. His lover. And again, remembering his bouts of dark, foul moods, Chris wondered how Vin could still stand to stay with him. When he was that angry with the world, he knew he would lash out at anything and anybody.

But still, Vin had stayed by his side. His refuge against the storm. His haven in the hurricane of their life.

Yes, Chris was marvelling at the man that was now sharing his life. The man that was not afraid to face him in his foulest moods. The man that had always turned to him with a gaze full of love, hope and pride. For the life of him, he couldn't understand what Vin could see in him. He could be such a s.o.b. sometimes that he would disgust even himself… and then would mope around, wondering how to ask for forgiveness… only to find that it had already been given while he was looking around for the courage to face the one he had wronged.

Chris could still remember all the times that he had come so close to just up and leaving all this behind him. Not wanting the heartache of caring again. Not wanting to stir hurtful memories. Not wanting to hope to then lose again. 'Cause every single person he had ever really loved in his life had been brutally torn from his grasp, uprooted from his heart. And this time, if he did not leave first, he knew it would kill him. And so he had tried again and again… to be stopped by the blue gaze quietly showering him with the ever confident light of love.

Those eyes had stopped him, reminding him that he was not alone anymore. That didn't mean he could not live alone again, just that his life was not the only one in the balance any longer. And that other life hanging with his own was so much more precious to him than his own… had always been ever since they had first met, ever since they had been lovers… ever since he had accepted the fact he was important to somebody, not as an agent, not as a friend… but as the other part of a soul…

That was what made him stay with the one he loved. That was what had him here, in the Saloon instead of hiding in his office or at the ranch. And he knew that that would be what would have him make love to Vin with all his heart once they were home.

Whether the rest of the team knew or not was not a problem any longer. Even if he had wanted, he couldn't have looked away from the blue eyes now gently diving into his green ones. He couldn't have hidden his feelings for the life of him. After all they'd been through, he just couldn't hide anymore and wanted the whole world to know that Vin was his and his alone.

And as much as he knew why he had fallen so hard for the sharpshooter, he still couldn't understand why he was loved so much by a man who could ask Life for so much more than an old, burned- out, ex-Navy Seal, ex-police officer that had turned fourty before they ever met…

In the background, another song came on… and looking back at Chris, Vin let him understand, see the answer in his eyes as if the song was playing just for them…