Arctic Freeze

~ Yolande  

This is my first attempt at writing in this universe. (Although it only borders on it.) Thanks to Mog for creating this sandbox for us to play in.

Notes - Everything written here should be taken with a grain of salt. It is a silly piece - hopefully humorous. Hope it comes across as such.

Thanks to - NotTasha for ironing out the lumps and bumps.



"Buck!"  JD Dunne screamed, anxiously peering over his shoulder in search of his companion and best friend. 

A panting and out of breath Buck Wilmington appeared to the right of the younger man.  Rubbing his numb hands together, he blew his breath into the cupped hands.  "I'm here, kid."  Wilmington affectionately slapped JD's shoulder.  "Can't lose me that easily." 

"Damn, I'm so cold," Dunne's face was pale, his entire body was exhausted, his limbs felt as though they were detached and he couldn't stop the shivers that had hold of him. 

"Yeah," the ladies' man agreed readily.  "We gotta get out of here, before we freeze to death."  The light dusting of ice resting on his moustache tickled the underside of his nose. 

The computer expert started slipping toward the floor, but a strong and supportive arm held him upright.  Hugging the light denim jacket in tighter, JD looked up to see if the older man was serious.  The air crystallised as he spoke; "We've been searching for hours, Buck.  We ain't gonna get out of here," Dunne dejectedly whined. 

"Kid, we ain't giving up!" Wilmington solemnly swore.  "If I gotta carry you out, then I will."  A wicked grin spread across the gregarious man's face.  "Besides, what will the rest of the guys do without us around?" 

This comment brought a wry smile to the younger man's countenance.  "Guess we keep looking then." 

"That a boy," the surveillance specialist cajoled.  How was it, that as a trained AFT agent with years of experience in many varied fields under his belt, he could fail to find an exit out of this glacial wilderness?    

The two ATF agents trudged disheartened through the ice-cold snow.  The legs of their pants were wet and in some areas they had to plough though snow that was waist deep.   

Buck leaned toward the slowly waning man.  He shook his head, concerned that the younger man had started mumbling under his breath.  The ladies' man strained to catch what his friend was saying, but the words were lost in the folds of his jacket.  "What cha saying, kid?" 

Irritably Dunne looked at Wilmington and snapped in response, "This is all your fault.  That we're here, I mean." 

"What!!?"  Buck scowled in astonishment.  "You're blaming me, for this mess we're in?" 

"Well…" Dunne warily replied, but Buck didn't let him finish. 

"You think this is all my fault?  You had absolutely nothing to do with this?"  The ladies' man asked in amazement. 

JD stuttered, "Well, you know…" 

"Yeah, I understand perfectly…" 

Dunne screamed then and pointed frantically over the older man's shoulder.  His eyes wide with horror as the dark form closed in on them.  Buck turned to see what had frightened the young agent and swore at what he discovered.  "Come on, kid."  Wilmington dragged the frozen man into action and hauled him off in a new direction. 

The two agents tired quickly, but still continued on, furtively looking behind them to check if they were being followed.  Twenty minutes later JD was wheezing and fell to his knees.  "Can't go on.  Buck, leave me here."  His head drooped to his chest and he sat back on his heels.  Idly his hands raked through the crisp snow on the ground. 

"JD, listen to me.  I'm not leaving you behind.  Chris and the other's would kill me."  Dunne refused to look up and Buck waited patiently, his gaze drawn to the hole the agent was digging absently in the snow.   

Dunne pulled his hand up in front of his face; rank sticky green sludge covered his hand like a glove, dripping back to the ground and staining the icy snow.  The agent screwed up his nose and gingerly rubbed the slime between his thumb and forefinger, horrified at the distasteful texture of the ooze.  A shuddered rippled though him once more and in agitation flicked the substance from his fingers and wiped the remainder down his pants leg.  "Ugh!  Buck, that's disgusting." 

"I reckon." 

"What do you suppose it came from?"  JD queried. 

"Beats me.  Obviously something died."  He extended his hand and pulled Dunne to his feet.  "Let's go." 

"Do you recognise any of this, Buck?  I mean, I seem to remember some of the things, but it was such a long time since I saw them, and now they don't quite look the same any more." 

"I know the feeling."  The ladies' man leaned against a rock to take a breath, but when the mound began to move beneath him he jumped away in a panic, catching the toe of his boot on a hidden article covered in the snow and falling on his backside.  A soft chortle resounded in his ears to begin with, and he frowned dispassionately at JD.   

Seeing the look Buck bestowed on him, Dunne laughed harder, clutching his sides and doubling over as the laughter ripped through him.  The hilarity stopped when Wilmington groped under the cover of snow and drew out a lump of muddy brown goop and hurled it in his direction. 

"Hey!"   Dunne exclaimed, stumbling backwards to avoid the onslaught, but it impacted in the centre of his chest.  He looked down disgustedly at the brown mess.  "Right.  You asked for it."  The youthful agent fell to his knee and dug a hole in the snow, using both limbs to dig.  A wicked gleam touched his lips at the nest of refuse he'd discovered.  His cheeks were rosy red with the cold, but this didn't deter him in the slightest.  Scooping up a portion of the lumpy mixture into his palm, he ran towards the cowering man.   

Wilmington held both hands up in defeat, hoping Dunne wouldn't follow through.  "Aw, come on, JD.  You wouldn't?  Would you?" 

Dunne didn't answer.  He stood over the top of the still fallen agent, upturned the contents from his hand onto Wilmington's head, rubbing his fingers through the thick black hair.  The younger man flew back to his repository to garner more fuel, while the ladies' man spat and groaned. 

"Buck?   JD?  You boys home?" 

Wilmington and Dunne shared a brief look, then both called out in unison.  "Chris?  We're in here."     


"Open the white door," Buck explained.  A few minutes of silence then a small glow appeared in the distance.  "That's it, ya old war dog.  Yippee!!  There's our way out." 

The two agents raced for the door, and the second they stepped over the threshold they put their combined weight on it, slamming it closed. 

Chris looked from one man to the other in bewilderment.  "What's going on?" 

"It's all his fault," JD stammered. 

Buck blushed furiously; "You're not going to go on about that again are you?"  He ignored the mild look of surprise on his oldest friend's face and pointedly jabbed his finger at JD's chest.  "I cleaned it out ten months ago.  I remember, cause it was just before you moved in." 

"You call that clean?  I had to pry that door open with a crowbar and the ice was so thick I couldn't close the door back up, then it was me who defrosted it.  So it's gotta be your turn."  JD triumphantly declared. 

Larabee's jaw dropped and his eyes widened to saucers.  "Any wonder you can't find anything in that freezer, if it hasn't been defrosted in all that time.  I'd hate to think what's growing in there."   He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head. 

"It's your turn."  JD petulantly disputed. 

"No it ain't… It's yours," Buck argued.   

Dunne threw both hands into the air and stomped out of the kitchen, mumbling under his breath.  "Knew ya couldn't find the leftovers of last week's beef stroganoff that Nettie sent over."   

Wilmington arched his eyebrows and looked at the freezer, shrugged his shoulders and followed his partner into the living room and jumped into the recliner.  "What cha watching?" 


Wilmington reached for the abandoned pizza box on the coffee table and tossed it in the direction of the trash bin.  The tall agent lifted his size ten boots and dropped them on the now exposed spot on the table.  A contented sigh passed his lips.  "So…ya want Chinese or Burgers for dinner?" 


The End


Author's Notes: Okay, I know that normally you wouldn't find gooey, sticky and runny stuff in the freezer, (it would be a solid lump,- but that just wouldn't fit in with the story line. Any way, it would have knocked the poor guys over (and out) if they'd been hit with that.)

Hope you all can guess at the motivation for writing this little snippet.  Though I'll deny any claim that my freezer was in such a deplorable state.  And it definitely is defrosted more regularly than Buck and JD obviously do theirs. (Though some of the stuff I found lying over in the back corner was a bit of a shock. <blush>)

Please send me feedback...I'd love to know what you thought, even if it's to complain.