EIGHT
Chris tried to pay attention to two things at once, but now that Vin was taken care of and resting quietly, waiting for the IV to finish, he couldn't keep his thoughts off the problem at work. Getting nowhere in Environmental Services Policies and Procedures, he put the binder away and took out the computer printout of budget and expenditures.He glanced at his friend every once in awhile. Sometimes Vin's eyes were closed, sometimes they were open, staring at something Chris couldn't see. The last few times he looked, Vin's eyes were closed, and Chris concentrated on the sheets in his lap. Numbers didn't add up and too much money was going out of petty cash...month to month the amount budgeted for kept changing...purchases that should've been passed by the board but obviously weren't littered the green and white lined sheets.
"What the - this doesn't make any sense - how could he -"
"I think the word you're looking for is 'embezzlement'," Vin said without turning his head up to look at Chris.
"You knew about this?" Chris was surprised that he'd keep it to himself. Vin shrugged.
"Gloria told me about it. At first she thought a mistake'd been made is all. When she told Lucas about it, he threatened her job and her pension. She's a widow, got a coupla kids to raise. I told her to hold on, told her it'd come out in the wash. Maybe now it will."
"You should've told me - you should've told somebody."
"Didn't want Gloria gettin' into trouble...Lucas has got a lotta money behind him. No telling what trouble he'd cause...she's got kids to raise," Vin said again.
Chris was about to repeat that Vin should've told somebody, but he knew Vin - forever looking out for other people. If it'd been his own job, Vin wouldn't hesitate to blow Lucas in. Anybody else - he'd bide his time. "Well, I think we can get him now."
"Hope so...he's been hard on Gloria...making her life hell..." Vin picked at the top blanket. "Ain't too nice to a lot of the workers, either...'specially the ones who won't fight back."
"What about you?" Chris asked. If James ever guessed that Vin could be threatened with other people's jobs, he'd have a field day.
"I got other things to think about now." His voice was flat and it brought Chris back to where they were and why. When Chris didn't answer right away, fear flared up in Vin that maybe Chris was piecing things together so he added lightly: "Guess I got a better boss now, hunh? Maybe he'll see clear to give me light duty?"
"Sure, light duty..." Chris squinted a little; something wasn't making sense. Vin was going from spiritless to teasing in a blink and that wasn't like him. As the wheels began to turn, the door opened and Rain came in. She carried an x-ray in her hand.
"How are you doing Vin?"
"Better I guess...when can I get outta here?"
"Soon, there are just a few things we need to discuss."
Vin's eyes went from Rain to Chris and back again. "Can Chris stay?" and Rain knew what he was asking - are you going to talk about the attack? If not, Chris can stay.
"Chris can stay for this -" She held the x-ray of his spine up to the light and pointed to the vertebrae. "See this - this line here - you have a crack there."
"What's that mean?"
Rain dropped the x-ray down to her side. "It means you have a fractured spine."
A moment's disbelief. "Am I gonna be able to walk?" Vin's mind immediately focused on whether he still had feeling in his legs.
"Oh yes, this is nothing serious," Rain hastened to reassure him. "But it's why you're having so much pain in your back."
"But - will I need traction or a cast or a wheelchair or what?" Fractured spine. A dozen horrifying visions sprang up.
"No Vin, don't worry, you won't even need a brace. You'll just have to take it easy. No lifting, no driving heavy equipment, no flexing or arching your back..."
"That's my whole damn job description," Vin complained. Rain shrugged.
"It's not serious, but you have to let it heal. If you want to avoid the severe pain you're having, you have to take it easy."
Vin grumbled something down into the blanket. "When can I get outta here?"
"Soon...the IV is almost -"
"Not soon, NOW." Chris watched the exchange. Vin could be assertive when he needed to be, but this was something stronger - fear, aggravation, distress. "I want my clothes."
"Vin - it shouldn't be more than another fifteen minutes." Rain kept her voice calm, she wasn't expecting this much trouble. "Then we can see how you're feeling."
"Where are my clothes?" Vin demanded. "And if you don't take this IV out, I will."
Rain controlled her breathing, and decided against giving it one more try. "Your clothes are under the table Vin. I'll take the IV out, and we need to discuss a few more things so I'm going to ask Chris to leave, all right?" Vin looked at Chris and knew that he wasn't about to be moved unless he had Vin's say-so.
"Okay...Chris? You wait outside till we're done? Drive me home?"
"Yeah Vin, I'll be out in the waiting room."
The ride back was a lot less painful for Vin than the ride coming in had been. Chris was just as careful about potholes and speed bumps and the painkillers had kicked in nicely. He closed his eyes and felt himself drift off. He didn't open his eyes again till he heard the mechanical music of the fair, and he came awake with a start. Chris had parked behind his apartment building.
"What are we doing here?" Vin's distress sounded in his voice. He didn't want to come back here. Not yet. They could be anywhere.
"Figured you could get a change of clothes, whatever you need to stay at my place...I can go get 'em for you, if you don't think you can make the climb."
"No - I'll go. I can do it."
+ + + + + + +
It was a slow walk into the apartment building and up the stairs. Vin prayed that Chris would stay in the front room, and not go anywhere near the bathroom. If he got one look at the carnage, the game would be up. As they neared the top of the staircase, Vin pulled his keys out. Suddenly, Chris pushed past him, blocking his way to the door.
"Hold on," Chris said. His voice was deep, serious. "Your lock's been tampered with."
"It's okay, it's been like that awhile." Like twenty four hours. Leave it to Chris to see a few gouges on the door frame. Vin unlocked the door and went in. It seemed like months since he'd been here, though it'd been less than five hours.
"Vin -" Chris surveyed the scene. "Someone's been in here." Vin looked around, seeing the destruction for the first time. His shoulders sagged and he let out a breath.
"I know." Defeated, he walked to his kitchen table and sat in the closest chair. He tossed his keys down and rested his head in his hands. It was over now. "Just go on home Chris. I'll come get my truck...when I can..." His voice shook, it wasn't going to take much to send him over the edge. "Just leave me alone."
This was getting stranger by the minute for Chris. Someone had obviously ransacked Vin's apartment, and Vin acted like he didn't care, or didn't have the energy to care. He looked around again, looked down, and saw the browning blood stains on the carpet, followed them back to the bathroom and pushed the door open.
+ + + + + + +
When Chris opened the bathroom door, Vin waited for the explosion. But all he could hear was the roar of blood in his ears, as panic overwhelmed him. Never should've let Chris come in. He'd see, he'd know, he'd want nothing more to do with Vin. He'd walk out the door and Vin would never see him again. How would he ever get his truck back? How would he ever get his life back? He couldn't work with a fractured vertebrae, he was afraid to stay in the apartment alone, afraid they'd come back, afraid he'd get sick again and fall and that the pain would go on and on. God please - take anything else you want. Just let me have yesterday back.
+ + + + + + +
Chris's first impulse was to gag for the blood splashed everywhere, the bloody hand prints smeared down the wall, the hair and blood imbedded in the shattered mirror, the footprint shaped stains of blood that had seeped through the towel on the floor. Vin had lost a hell of a lot of blood out of that cut on his head.
Then Chris saw it, on the wall, two hand prints, one distinctly bigger than the other. At least two people had been in here. He turned back, intending to demand the truth from Vin, but the words died on his lips when he saw him, sitting at the kitchen table. Chris knew Vin to be a strong man, able to keep his head and see his way through any difficulty or disaster that life or work threw at him. But the man with Chris now didn't seem strong at all. Vin cradled his head in his hands, with his hands turned so that they shielded his eyes. His breath came fast.
He was crying.
+ + + + + + +
Vin had no idea what was going on around him. He tried to control his emotions but the pain was too deep. Lord, how long was he going to feel this way? How long would he keep fracturing until he broke apart completely? Why wasn't Chris saying anything? Why was he just walking around? Why didn't he just leave and leave Vin in his misery? God, why did this happen to me?
A hand on his shoulder startled Vin. He looked up, and quickly looked back down. Chris stood next to him, with Vin's back pack in his hand. "You ready?" Chris asked, casually. "I packed some clothes for you..." Vin didn't move at first, didn't want to move. Chris urged him again, still casually, as though Vin was merely dawdling. "Mary'll have dinner started, she'll be looking for us..."
So Vin stood up and followed Chris out of the apartment. He didn't try to figure out what was going through Chris's mind. He shut his front door and locked it, and numbly followed Chris to his truck. He started to pull himself into the cab, and felt it again, a hand touching him, Chris quietly helping him in.
"You okay?" Chris asked as he shut the truck door. Now the words didn't sound as comforting as they had before.
"Yeah." Vin didn't look at him, and as Chris made his way around to the driver's side, Vin hastily scrubbed his eyes dry and raw.
"We'll get you safe and sound in a few minutes," Chris said and started the truck. Neither of them said anything else on the short trip home.
NINE
Vin's mind shut down during the brief ride to Chris's house. He hugged his old canvas backpack to himself and stared at the dashboard. Something heavy settled on his brain, leaving no room for thought, feeling, or questions. The pain still got through. The seatbelt aggravated the cracked ribs Rain had said he had, the occasional bump in the blacktop twinged his back. He could hear the painkillers rattle in their bottle in his shirt pocket. Everything else was fog.When the truck's engine cut off, Vin pulled himself up out of the fog. Where were they? They weren't back at his apartment building, were they? He was confused a little by the view out the windshield - familiar but not customary. Even seeing how close they were to the house didn't explain things for him. The passenger door opened and Chris was standing there.
"Come on inside," Chris said. His tone was casual, inviting, and he held out his hand. Vin ran this all through his brain a time or two. Still it didn't make sense. The truck had stopped. They were at Chris's house. Chris was waiting for something. What was Chris waiting for?
"The other's will be here soon, Vin. You'll want to get inside before then."
Get inside. That was it. Vin undid the seatbelt, letting it slide back into place, then inched his body off the seat. Chris stepped closer and took Vin's arm to help him down. Once his feet were on the ground and he felt like he'd stay upright on his own, Vin pulled away from Chris. Too close. Standing too close. When Chris stepped back, Vin pushed himself toward the house. He didn't hear Chris shut the truck door, and only sensed him walking ahead to open the front door.
The slight weight of the back pack comforted Vin as something to hold onto. Clean clothes inside, the promise of something clean kept the other thoughts of filth and shame at bay. Clean. He could be clean again. His clothes were dirty, he was dirty. If he could just get clean again...
Once inside the house, in the front hallway that opened on three sides to dining room, family room, and the stairs that led upstairs, Vin stopped. Here his train of thought stopped. He was supposed to go into the house, and he had. Now what? Maybe if he wasn't so tired, he'd be able to think what to do.
"You want to go upstairs and change? Maybe lay down for awhile?" Chris asked. Why did the casualness of his voice seem so out of place?
"Take a shower?" Vin asked. The words came out on their own, Vin hadn't even thought them.
"Sure, come on. I'll check, make sure there's clean towels."
That word again, clean. He'd be okay if he could get clean. As automatically as before, Vin followed Chris up the stairs. He heard a woman's voice behind him.
"Chris - is that you?"
"Yeah - be down in a minute Mary..."
The bathroom was long and narrow, with a mirror that ran the length of the double sink counter top. Chris pulled three towels out of the little closet and laid them next to one of the sinks. "Leave your clothes here in the hamper Vin, I'll throw 'em in the wash for you." What that process would entail ran through Vin's mind and he shook his head emphatically. There'd be blood. Chris would know. But Chris said again: "You leave 'em here Vin. I'll take care of it."
What did that mean? Why was the world so fuzzy? Every sight and sound and touch seemed too sharp, much too clear. If the words were so clear, why was the meaning so fuzzy? Still, Vin nodded. Leave his clothes in the hamper. Okay. What else was he supposed to do? He looked up at Chris, puzzled.
"You take a shower Vin, it's been a hot day, it'll make you feel better. Change into your clean clothes and leave the other ones here in the hamper, okay?"
Okay.
Apparently, he hadn't said it out loud because Chris asked again: "Okay?"
"Okay." Was that his voice? What was going on? "Don't feel just right Chris."
"It's okay Vin. I think maybe Nathan gave you too strong a dose of painkillers. You take a shower, change your clothes and get some rest. You'll feel better...okay?"
Vin had to prod himself to remember to answer out loud. "Okay."
"I'll check back on you when I hear the water turn off, okay?"
"Okay."
Chris stood a moment longer, and Vin wondered if he was supposed to say something else? Was there a step he'd missed?
"If I don't hear the water turn on in a little while, I'll check back too."
"Okay." Turn on the water, take a shower, turn off the water, put on clean clothes, leave dirty clothes in the hamper. "Okay."
+ + + + + + +
When Vin set the back pack on the sink and started pulling out his clothes, Chris left the bathroom and shut the door. Mary met him at the bottom of the stairs. "How is he?"
"A little strung out on painkillers I think...he's taking a shower now. He'll be better when he eats something, gets some rest...I gotta move the truck. I'll be back." Outside the house, alone in the truck, Chris finally let himself exhale the troubled breath he'd been holding since seeing those handprints in Vin's bathroom. Lord, help me know how to help him. He parked the truck in the driveway and went back in the house. Standing at the foot of the stairs, he heard the water running upstairs.
Billy ran into the hallway with Cowboy close on his heels. "Hi Dad! Where were you?"
"Hey Bud...Vin got hurt, had to take him to see Nathan." He ruffled Billy's hair and took a long look at him.
"Is he gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, he's taking a shower...Buck and JD and Ezra are coming over...you keep an eye out for 'em for me?"
"Sure!" Boy and dog were gone again, out the front door. Chris went through the dining room into the kitchen. Mary stood at the table, shredding vegetables for a salad. She took one look at her husband's face. "Are you okay? Vin isn't that bad off is he?"
Chris almost nodded, almost shook his head, ended up just shrugging. "Somebody attacked him." He kept his voice low.
"What?!" Mary matched his tone. Quiet astonishment. "You said he fell."
"That's what he told me. I was too busy worried about all hell breaking loose at school that I took him at his word." Chris shook his head, angry at himself and guilt ridden about not seeing it sooner. "He has a concussion, cracked ribs, a fractured vertebrae..." They could both hear the water running upstairs, but still they kept their voices down so that Vin couldn't hear them. "And I still didn't put it together till I took him to his apartment to get a change of clothes."
"What was in his apartment? And why on earth would Vin lie to you?"
Now Chris shook his head. "I don't know. His apartment was a wreck, blood all over the bathroom...Vin keeps things to himself when he thinks he has to protect someone. All I can figure is he's protecting someone now."
"Who?" Mary set her knife down on the cutting board and set the red onion back on the plate. "Who would beat him like that, that he'd protect?"
"I wish I knew...if I push him, he'll close right up."
"Dad! Dad! Buck and JD are pulling up the driveway!" Billy yelled through the back door, Cowboy barking his agreement and greeting.
"Okay Billy, thanks..," Chris called back. "I don't want the guys to know about Vin...," he said to Mary. "Just let them think he fell..."
"Allright honey," Mary agreed.
+ + + + + + +
Vin didn't look at himself in the long mirror as he got dressed. Too much evidence of what he'd let them do. His guilt announced itself on every bruise and scratch on his body. Should've fought back harder, should've not been taking that shower. Should've let them kill me.
He sat on the edge of the tub - that thought came across louder than the rest. Should've fought back hard enough that they had to kill me to touch me. But I didn't. What does that mean? Lord - did I let them touch me? Did I let them - he couldn't even think the word now. Lord, did I let them?
Footsteps in the hallway preceded the knock on the bathroom door. "Vin? How're you comin' in there?" Chris asked.
It took a deep breath that creaked in his ribs to answer. "I don't know." The door opened in a flash and Chris came in, concerned. His eyes took in Vin's whole state at once. "Did I let them hurt me?" Vin asked. Chris would tell him the truth, even if it was unbearable.
"No," Chris answered, as though Vin had asked if his tie was on crooked.
"I shoulda fought back harder." His voice came out soft, anguished.
"You fought hard enough to get a fractured spine Vin." Chris crouched beside him. "I wouldn't call that 'letting' anybody do anything."
"What am I gonna do now?" How do I put all the shattered pieces back together? How do I not cut myself on all the sharp edges of who I don't think I am anymore?
"You're going to have something to eat and lay down for some rest. I think Nathan or Rain overdid the pain killers and I think you need to close your eyes for awhile." It sounded good to Vin and he nodded. Chris smiled. "Good. C'mon, got the guest room all set up for you. I'll put a fan in there too, chase some of this heat away."
"Can I lay down on the couch?" Vin asked. It seemed to catch Chris off guard.
"Well...sure. You put socks on your feet and I'll grab a pillow and some blankets."
"Okay."
+ + + + + + +
Chris walked down the stairs, turned so that he could keep an eye on Vin coming down behind him. Vin walked slowly, holding the banister white-knuckled all the way down. Chris didn't question his desire to sleep on the couch - as long as he slept, anywhere was fine. He'd keep the louver doors shut between the family room, kitchen, and hallway so that Vin wouldn't be disturbed, or raise too many questions among their friends.
"Mary's gonna make you something to eat, just toast and some tea. You'll feel better when you eat." Chris waited by the last step for Vin to make his way all the way down.
"Can she put honey on the toast?" Another question that took Chris by surprise. "Sure, I'll tell her...c'mon." Chris led the way into the family room. He set the pillow on the arm of the overstuffed couch and waited for Vin to set himself down. Chris wanted to help him, but Vin didn't seem to want to be touched, and Chris couldn't blame him. When Vin was sitting on the couch, with his legs stretched out in front of himself, Chris spread the thin blanket over him. Then he switched on the pole fan that stood next to the sliding glass doors, and pulled the curtains that cut off the view to and from the deck.
"Some of the guys are here." Chris meant to warn Vin, but Vin's expression didn't change. "Buck, Ezra, JD. We're all gonna work on the problem at school. We'll likely be outside or in the kitchen most of the time. I'll check on you regular."
"Okay."
Chris stood over Vin just a bit longer. He hated to leave him, even in another room in his own house. "You're safe here Vin," he said, as much for his own benefit as for Vin's. "We'll take care of you."
TEN
With the doors shut and the curtains pulled, Vin rested uneasily in muffled darkness. He could hear the guys talking, Chris and Buck, the quieter tones of JD and Ezra. They must be out on the deck, they sounded close through the sliding glass doors. The hum of the fan made a comfortable barrier of white noise that let him hear their voices without understanding the words. They must be asking where he was though - what was Chris telling them? Did it matter anyway...His back ached and he shifted a little to try and ease it against the pillow and arm of the couch. How long did Rain say it would take to heal? Three weeks for his ribs, six weeks for his spine. Funny how she never said how long it would take the rest of him to heal, funny how he hadn't asked. Rain seemed to think that his physical injuries were the only ones needed tending to. No mention of psychological trauma. Never a word about how long a soul takes to recover.
+ + + + + + +
"Where's Vin?" Buck did ask after a few minutes. Ezra had since joined them, and they were sitting in the Adirondack chairs on the deck.
"He's inside, getting some rest," Chris said, gesturing toward the glass doors. "He fell, cracked his spine against his bathroom sink, hit his head on the mirror. Nathan pumped him so full of painkillers, I don't think Vin remembers his own name."
"Is he okay?" JD asked. Chris started to nod, but Buck said:
"I've had Nathan's painkillers. He won't be feelin' anything for a long while..."
Ezra frowned though at the information. "How in the world did he manage to accomplish so much damage in such a tiny space as he is afforded in that postage-stamp of a bathroom?" Chris did seem to like that question much.
"Reckon he bounced," he said, frowning himself. Ezra appeared to accept this.
"Now if we can determine some way to entice the Board to 'bounce' Mr. James..," he said.
+ + + + + + +
"Vin?" The light from the kitchen glanced into the family room as Mary opened the door. "Think you could eat something?" She spoke quietly.
"Reckon I could try..."
She left the door open as she carried in a small plate and a large cup. Handing them over to Vin, she sat next to him on the footstool. "Toast with honey, just like you wanted." She smiled at him. Chris had warned her, so she'd been expecting the black eyes and pale features, the utter exhaustion evident in Vin.
"I 'preciate it Mary..." Vin looked down at the two slices of toast, cut up into eight little squares, and the huge cup of tea. "...when I'se a kid, when I didn't feel good, my Dad would have me sleep on the couch and give me toast with honey..." Vin felt he had to explain his requests. Mary didn't know how to answer. She knew that Vin had lost his mother when he was little, five maybe, and had lost his Dad some ten years after that. She also knew that Vin never mentioned either of them much.
"That's very sweet Vin...it's nice that you have a memory like that of him."
"Yeah..." Vin didn't drink his tea, and he poked a little at the toast. "You know -" he said suddenly. "- you aren't supposed to give honey to little babies? I read that a long time ago. It said that honey isn't good for 'em, could kill 'em."
"I remember reading about that too," Mary said. She wondered at first why Vin would mention that. "Fortunately I read it before I ever had Billy." Maybe Vin wanted to eat in privacy, maybe he was just stalling until she left. "Well, I have to go back and finish dinner...let me know if you need anything."
"I will Mary. Thanks."
When she disappeared back into the kitchen, shutting the door behind her, Vin took a long swallow of tea and picked up one of the squares of toast. He wondered if he'd gag on the solid food. That possibility definitely threatened. But his body was beginning to want food and Vin thought that might be a good sign. So he took a small bite of toast, chewed it a little while to see how his body reacted. When it went down without a problem, he finished all the toast and tea, then set the cup and plate on the floor next to the couch. Turning just a little more onto his side, to face the back of the couch, Vin closed his eyes and finally fell into a deep sleep.
+ + + + + + +
"I will personally deliver the financial information to the Dean first thing tomorrow morning," Ezra was saying. "No doubt the elder Mr. James will immediately and adequately reimburse whatever amount Lucas has 'borrowed' from the University, but I think that with very little coercion on our part, the Board will surmise that the time behind bars his DUI is resulting in will seriously impede Lucas James' ability to discharge his office - even to the inconsiderable limits which were normally his custom."
"I hope so," Chris said. Ezra noticed that every once in a while, Chris's eyes lingered on the sliding glass doors, as though pondering what was behind them. "Vin's tellin' me horror stories about the way he treats his staff."
"I can run a check on him down at the Precinct," Buck said. "See if there's anything else you can use against him. Might be his uncle bought off victims, but a varmint like him - I'd bet there's a lot of complaints been signed against him."
"That'll help Buck, thanks..."
"I still know a lot of people on the Maintenance and Housekeeping staff," JD said. "I'll talk to them tomorrow. Groundskeeping too. Maybe when they hear James is gone, they'll talk a little easier."
"Tell them they'll stay anonymous if that'll help."
"Okay Chris."
The meeting broke up. Buck told Mary he'd get the grill started. JD went out into the yard with Billy to play catch with Cowboy. Ezra got Chris alone and startled him by saying: "I must gather from your loquacious report of Mr. Tanner's misfortune that, despite your verbiage, we were not given the entire story."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Chris tried.
"Mr. Larabee, we both know that under normal circumstances, your response to Vin's whereabouts would've been roughly 'Sleeping. Got hurt. Leave him alone.' When a man as short-spoken as yourself feels the need to expound, I'm driven to the inevitable conclusion that he's attempting to camouflage something with words." Ezra was right and Chris didn't know what to say. His eyes flashed back to the sliding glass doors. When he didn't answer, Ezra went on.
"May I inquire then, is Mr. Tanner in any immediate danger, physical or otherwise? And if so, or even if not, is there any way I may be of help to him - or to you?"
Chris turned this over. "Naah, Ezra. Thanks. Vin'll be okay. Needs to rest. You help me nail James to the wall though." Ezra gave him a questioning look which Chris understood. "No, James has got nothing to do with Vin getting hurt. Vin just doesn't like him and wants him gone even more than I do...Vin'll be okay Ezra. He'll appreciate you asking."
+ + + + + + +
The weather turned decidedly cool as the afternoon wore on. Heavy wind blew rain clouds in from off the lake. Soon after the sky turned black and fat rain drops pelted the ground. Chris checked on Vin a few times, each time he was still solidly asleep. When the wind picked up, Chris shut off the fan and opened one the glass doors six inches or so to let fresh air into the room. He heard a soft whistle of surprise behind him and turned to see that Buck had come into the room and gotten a fair look at Vin's face. Chris shot him a warning glance and they went back into the kitchen.
"You said he hurt his back," Buck whispered.
"Long story," Chris told him. "Stick around, I need your help."
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