ATF Universe
Continued...
Ezra eased the Jag into the garage, hit the button that closed the large door behind him, and then turned to look at his companion."Well, Mr. Wilmington... I wore the... costume... you so kindly chose for me. I attended Inez's lovely little soiree and provided our compatriots with a target for their rather childish sense of humor. In other words, I fulfilled my promise to you." Ezra managed, with some effort, to keep his voice steady as Buck reached out and ran a finger lightly along his jaw and then slowly caressed his lower lip. Staring into the dark blue smoldering eyes that seemed to burn straight through to his soul, Ezra forced back a shudder and hoarsely whispered, "Trick or treat."
Buck's fingers stroked slowly up across Ezra's cheek and then through the silken chestnut locks of hair to gently cup the back of his head. The older man leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly against Ezra's pliant mouth and whispered back, "No trick, Ezra... just one..." the tip of his tongue slid sensuously across the smaller man's lips, "... incredibly..." he nibbled at the corner of Ezra's trembling mouth, "... sweet..." Buck watched the pale green eyes slowly drift closed and pressed his supple lips softly against those of his lover as he murmured, "...treat."
Buck sat back in his seat and grinned as Ezra gave a small moan at the loss of contact and slowly opened his eyes.
Ezra took a few deep breaths to steady himself, and then when he was sure he could move without shaking, started to open the car door. "And just when can I expect to collect my reward?"
Buck grabbed his arm and stopped him before he could get out. "Hang on, pard... I need ya to wait here for a few minutes while I get your surprise ready." He switched on the stereo, selected a CD, and popped it in, and then gave Ezra a quick pat on the cheek. "You just sit here an' listen to some mood music till I come back for ya. I promise I won't be long." And before Ezra could protest, he was gone.
+ + + + + + +
Buck gave the already dented tailgate a well-placed kick, dislodging a few chunks of rusted metal, and wrenched it down out of the way. Then after throwing back the canvas cover, he began wrestling one of the full-length oval mirrors out of the back of the truck. By the time he had all four of them hauled upstairs to the spare bedroom that Ezra had converted into a workout room, he was gasping for breath and wishing he could have asked one of the others to help him. But obviously that would have brought about some rather embarrassing questions and a deluge of unmerciful teasing.
Ezra had a chin-up bar bolted into the ceiling at the back of the room, and after shoving the weight bench and the step machine out of the way, Buck surrounded the small area beneath it with the four mirrors that he'd borrowed from a friend who managed a clothing store downtown. He'd have to get up early to return them because they had to be back before the place opened in the morning, but if his plan worked, all the trouble he'd gone to would be worth it. Standing under the bar, he carefully checked out his reflection in each of the mirrors, and after some minor adjustments, was satisfied everything was ready.
As Buck made his way slowly down the stairs, he thought about his plan and why he was doing it. The why was simple... he wanted more than anything to be able to tell Ezra that he loved him. He didn't need to hear it back... he hoped he would eventually... but for now, he just wanted Ezra to allow him to express what was in his heart.
Ever since they'd been together, Ezra had avoided the "L" word as if it were the plague. He wouldn't say it himself or even let Buck say it. In the beginning, Buck had understood, because, at that time, it had just been fun and games between them. Great sex... a drink with the guys... maybe a movie or two. Nothing serious.
The problem had started when Buck's feelings had gradually deepened and grown, and he'd decided he needed to let Ezra know how he felt. He'd tried telling Ezra that he loved him during their two weeks of dating, but the younger man had resisted hearing it with a ferocity that shocked Buck. Every time he had started to say the word, Ezra had stopped him... a kiss... a hand over his mouth... and if all else failed, a panicked plea for him to "please, stop."
Buck had wanted to defy him and say it anyway, but he always backed down when he saw the fear that filled his lover's bright green eyes at those moments. He wasn't sure what Ezra was so terrified of because he refused to talk about it, but just knowing the usually stoic Southerner was scared made Buck reluctant to force the issue. He was afraid that if he did, he'd end up pushing Ezra away.
Of course, there was always the possibility that Ezra just didn't love him and that was why he didn't want the subject even spoken of... out of a fear that telling Buck would put an end to their friendship. But the minute that disturbing idea had occurred to him, Buck had determinedly dismissed it and pushed it to the back of his mind. He had to believe that Ezra returned his love and that his plan would succeed... anything else was too painful to contemplate.
As for the plan... it had started as simply a way to convince Ezra to go along with the dating idea... a night of incredible sex to cap off their last official date. But after continually losing the struggle to have a serious discussion with Ezra about his feelings, the original idea for the treat had changed. Now it was, hopefully, going to be the way Buck finally got through to his young friend just how much he truly loved him.
His plan was to give Ezra a night of unsurpassed sexual pleasuring that would leave him so lost in his emotions that he wouldn't be able to stop Buck when he started expressing his feelings. Hopefully he'd be able to get Ezra off-balance enough to force those damn barriers of his down so that he could listen to his heart instead of his mind for a change.
Everything that happened tonight was going to be for Ezra. Buck was going to make sure that the insecure Southerner knew that he wanted absolutely nothing in return from him... no reciprocated sex... no declarations of love... nothing. All he wanted was for Ezra to accept the fact that he loved him. One thing he'd come to understand about Ezra was that, although he projected a strong aura of self-confidence and even a touch of arrogance... inside, he was actually riddled with insecurities. Maude's teachings and his own life experiences had left him convinced that everyone expected something from him... that there were always strings attached to any kindnesses that were offered him. Buck intended to show Ezra that this time was different... that he was different... that his love was completely unconditional. Then maybe he wouldn't be too afraid to believe that it was real.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra watched in amazement as Buck disappeared through the door. Some treat... get me aroused and then leave me sittin' here alone with romantic music playin'. With an exasperated sigh, he unbuttoned his coat and reached down to adjust himself, gasping in pleasant surprise as the soft folds of the breechclout bunched between his legs and rubbed tantalizingly against his gently throbbing shaft. Maybe there's something to be said for this antique underwear after all. Ezra leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes as he slowly shifted his hips back and forth, increasing the teasing friction between his heated flesh and the soft linen clout. It would serve Buck right if I played a trick on him and took care of my own treat. Then he thought about his lover's touch... his kiss... the look on his face as he promised to give him a night he'd never forget... and Ezra realized he just couldn't ruin it for Buck.
Ezra sat up and quickly lowered the window to let the cold air from the garage into the car, then stuck his hands in his coat pockets to keep them away from temptation. He smiled as he touched something small and metallic and pulled out the bracelet he'd dropped in there earlier. Flipping open the top, he ran his fingers lightly across the sentiment engraved inside and remembered the first time he'd read it. He'd joked about them going steady, and Buck had been quick to reassure him that it was just to symbolize their dating. Ezra had laughed along with him, but only as a cover for the disappointment that he'd felt when Buck had said he wasn't serious. Because if the truth were known... Ezra wanted that "4ever" that the bracelet promised. And he wanted it to be with Buck Wilmington.
Carefully fastening the bracelet around his wrist, Ezra again stared at the inscription as he went over all that had occurred in the last two weeks. The tender touches... the gentle hugs... the deep, longing kisses...
They were all signs of love, weren't they? At least, that's what Ezra had come to realize they meant to him. Wouldn't they mean the same thing to Buck?
Ezra nervously fidgeted with the bracelet as he fought against the possible complications his insecurities were conjuring up. What if that was just how Buck treated all his lovers? Maybe what they had was nothing special in the older man's eyes... just a chance for some great sex and companionship until someone else caught his attention. Perhaps he was getting bored with their relationship, and all this dating stuff was just a last-ditch effort to spice things up. And if that part was true, would Buck leave him if tonight didn't live up to his expectations?
Or maybe Buck really did love him, but thought Ezra didn't feel the same. After all, he'd gone out of his way to keep the evil specter of love out of their relationship because he knew from painful experience what would happen once they'd declared their serious intentions. Ezra would get his hopes up that he'd finally found the one person he could share his life with... and Buck would wake up one morning and realize that he'd been swept away by lust and didn't really love him after all.
Ezra looked down... "Buck & Ezra 4ever"... he thought about the look that had been on Buck's face when he'd fastened the bracelet around his wrist. His natural instinct for judging people was telling him that it had been the look of a man in love, but it was so hard for him to believe it was true. Ezra realized he had to somehow find the strength to shake off his doubts, or else he took a chance on losing whatever it was they had together. And even if it turned out to be just friendship, Ezra wanted it... at least it would keep the man who now owned his heart in his life.
+ + + + + + +
Buck stood in the doorway between the garage and the kitchen and watched his lover as he impatiently sat tapping his long, slender fingers on the steering wheel. Ezra suddenly turned his head and looked at him, and just for a moment, the walls dropped and Buck could see the love that the younger man had been working so hard to keep hidden. He felt his heart swell as he realized that his feelings were returned after all, and he moved toward Ezra with a renewed determination to force him to face and accept what was happening between them.
Buck strolled slowly over to the car and pulled the door open. Bending over and reaching past Ezra, he switched off the stereo and then turned his head, and before the smaller man knew what was happening, captured his lips in a long, slow, wet kiss that left them both gasping for breath when they finally broke apart.
"Ready for your treat now?" Buck murmured huskily as he slipped his hand under Ezra's coat and ran it slowly back and forth over his muscular silk-clad thigh. He gave the warm, firm flesh beneath his fingers a gentle, caressing squeeze and smiled when he saw Ezra try to speak and then just nod his head weakly in response to his question.
Buck grasped Ezra's hand and helped him out of the car, then wrapping his arm around the smaller man's shoulders, led him into the house. His finger's caressed the back of Ezra's neck as they walked... the gentle, teasing touch keeping the young agent aroused and a little off balance.
Stopping in the living room, Buck reached up and began to slowly slide Ezra's coat off his shoulders, letting the backs of his fingers trail lightly down the Southerner's bare arms while at the same time leaning in to nibble gently across the nape of his neck to his ear. He felt the involuntary shudder that shook Ezra's slender form as his teeth closed briefly over the soft, fleshy lobe before he whispered, "Are you ready for me, Ezra?"
Ezra swayed slightly, his head tipping unconsciously to the side as Buck's lips moved slowly down his neck, nipping gently at the sensitive skin. His voice trembled as he moaned softly, "Oh Lord, yes..."
Buck let the coat slip to the floor and then hurriedly stripped his own off before turning Ezra around and pulling him into his arms.
Ezra gasped and clung to Buck as he bent his head and began covering his face and neck with hot, moist kisses. Buck's hand slid up Ezra's back into his hair, his fingers tangling in the silken locks and pulling his head back to expose his lover's throat to his questing mouth. He felt the younger man's moans vibrating against his lips as he suckled and nibbled his way up and down the corded neck before returning to Ezra's yearning mouth, engulfing it as he swallowed the harsh cry of pleasure that tried to escape the passion swollen lips.
Ezra uttered a soft whimper of loss and leaned helplessly against him when Buck was finally able to tear himself away from the kiss. Buck wrapped himself around the smaller body, clutching Ezra against him as they both fought to get their breathing and wildly beating hearts under control. One hand ran soothingly up and down the younger man's back as the other gently cupped his head and pressed it against his shoulder.
Bending his head to press his lips lightly against Ezra's temple, Buck murmured brokenly, "God, Ezra... what you do to me..."
Ezra stood shuddering against Buck as he fought the emotions that threatened to sweep him away. Somewhere in the back of his lust-filled mind, he realized now was the time to say the words, but, try as he might, he still couldn't seem to give voice to them. I love you. The words trembled on his lips as he felt Buck's arms tighten around him, but then the older man released him with a ragged sigh, and the moment was gone.
Buck gave a shaky little laugh and reached up to rake trembling fingers through his hair before putting a hand on Ezra's back and pushing him gently towards the stairs. "We better get started on your treat while I've still got some tiny bit of self-control left, or all the plans I made will be shot to hell."
Ezra's legs were shaking so badly, he had to keep a light grip on the railing to steady himself as they climbed the stairs... and Buck's hand resting on the small of his back as he followed behind him wasn't helping matters any. Even through the silk vest he could feel the heat building against his skin.
"I'm almost afraid to see what you've got in mind for me," Ezra commented breathlessly.
Buck slid his hand lower and lightly stroked his fingers over the perfectly shaped ass that swayed temptingly in front of him. Grinning widely as he saw Ezra's steps falter in reaction to the unexpected intimate touch, Buck warned, "You should be afraid... very afraid."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra started down the short hallway toward his bedroom and was surprised when Buck stopped him in front of the spare room instead. He glanced quizzically over his shoulder at the taller man and merely received a small nod and gentle nudge toward the door. Ezra opened it and stepped inside, then stopped suddenly when he saw the alterations Buck had made to the room. He stared with trepidation at the mirrors and resisted the other man's attempts to move him further into the room.
Buck looked at Ezra, saw that he was frowning, and sighed. He'd known his partner might have a problem with the mirrors.
It was just one more of his insecurities rearing its ugly head. Ezra was one of those people who could receive a hundred compliments and one criticism, and the only thing he would hear and take to heart would be that one negative remark. Men and women alike commented on his extraordinary good looks and charming personality, but the only person he paid attention to was his mother who felt it was her duty to keep her son grounded by pointing out his flaws on a regular basis... "You're much too thin, darlin'... just look how that suit hangs on you"... "Ezra, darlin'... I'll never understand why you had to ruin your wonderful smile by gettin' that awful gold tooth"... "Ezra, who in God's name cut your hair?" As a result, if he and Ezra were to stand in front of a mirror together, Ezra would see the skinny, unattractive man his mother's words portrayed, while Buck would see his beautiful, sensitive lover. Which was the main reason he'd added the mirrors to his plan... he wanted Ezra to be able to see himself the way others did. It was only one small part of his problem with his self-esteem, but fixing this might make it easier to work on the rest.
Ezra planted his hands on his hips and scowled at Buck. "Why are we in here, and where did those mirrors come from?"
Buck threw his arm across the smaller man's shoulders and pushed him forward until he was standing under the u-shaped bar. "We're in here because this is where you're gonna get your treat."
Ezra stared nervously around him at the various exercise equipment. "Uh-huh... now I'm definitely afraid to ask what you've got planned." He waved a hand at the mirrors. "And those?"
"I borrowed 'em from Michelle... the cute little redhead who manages Harrison's?" Buck gave him a little shake. "And quit lookin' at 'em like their gonna bite ya. They're just big ol' pieces of glass."
Ezra chose to ignore his remark about the mirrors and instead zeroed in on the subject of the friend instead. "Cute little redhead? Just how close a friend is this Michelle?"
Buck glanced worriedly down at his lover and was relieved to see the scowl replaced with a teasing grin. He smiled back at the smaller man and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Don't you fret none, Ezra... she's not my type."
"And just what is your type, Mr. Wilmington?" Ezra felt a thrill run through him as Buck's arms slid around him from behind, and he found himself gently pulled back against the bigger man's broad chest.
Buck bent his head and ran his lips lightly around the delicate outer shell of Ezra's ear, eliciting a small gasp of pleasure from the younger man. "Mmm... my type? Well, let's see if I can describe my idea of the perfect lover..."
Buck captured and held Ezra's gaze in the mirror, and keeping his voice low and soft, began detailing everything he loved about the man he held tenderly in his arms. "First of all, it's definitely gotta be a man. Women are beautiful and sexy with all their soft curves, but I need to feel a firm, muscular body in my arms... need to feel the play of those hard muscles under all that smooth, satiny skin..." Buck slowly slipped the vest down Ezra's arms and tossed it out of his way before continuing.
Ezra felt a small shudder ripple through him as Buck's hand caressed his bare chest and shoulders and then glided down across his stomach, lightly kneading the quivering flesh before dipping down to rest on the gentle curve of his hip.
"His hair's gotta be a nice warm brown color with just a hint of red and gold when the light hits it just right... soft and silky, an' just long enough so ya can run your hands through it an' feel it curl around your fingers."
Ezra's breath caught as Buck's fingers toyed gently with the small lock of hair that curled softly behind his ear before slowly stroking down along his jaw.
"And his mouth... mmm... soft lips that taste as sweet as honey..."
A soft gasping moan caught in Ezra's throat as Buck ran his thumb slowly back and forth across his lips, teasing them open. And then it was the older man's turn to moan as Ezra nibbled on the probing digit before slowly drawing it into his mouth and sucking gently on the lightly callused skin. Ezra gave it one last little nip before releasing it and smiled in satisfaction as he stared at Buck's reflection in the mirror and watched his eyes slowly darken with lust.
Ezra began stroking his hands over Buck's arms and immediately felt them tighten around him, pressing their bodies even closer together until Ezra could feel his partner's growing arousal stirring against his backside. He wriggled his hips seductively and tilted his head to look up at Buck. "Is that part of my treat I feel back there, Mr. Wilmington?"
Realizing he was quickly losing control of the situation, Buck reluctantly released Ezra, then stepped around in front of him and put his hands on the smaller man's shoulders to keep him at a safe distance. He had to take several deep breaths to calm himself before he could respond to Ezra's question. "Not this time, buddy... this time it's all you."
Ezra laughed and reached for Buck, his eyes fixated hungrily on the lightly twitching bulge clearly visible through the flimsy material of his lover's silk trousers. "It doesn't look that way to me."
Buck caught Ezra's hands just in time and brought them up against his chest. "Don't matter how it looks, pard... I'm tellin' ya how it's gonna be." He wrapped one hand around both of the Southerner's slender wrists and reached up to gently stroke his face. "You won't let me tell ya how I feel, so I'm gonna show ya instead." Buck saw the confusion in Ezra's eyes and smiled reassuringly at him as he slowly raised his arms and carefully wrapped his long, slender fingers around the padded bar suspended above his head.
Ezra tore his gaze away from Buck's long enough to look up at his hands. He started to let go, but the bigger man was ready and gently clamped his fingers over Ezra's. He looked back down at his partner, his brow furrowed questioningly. "Buck? What are you--"
Buck stopped him with several soft, breath-stealing kisses, and then, pressing his forehead against Ezra's, whispered hoarsely, "I'm gonna do my damnedest to give you a night of heart-stoppin' pleasure... and your gonna stand here an' keep your hands on that bar and let me. If ya let go for even a second, I'll stop an' you'll never know just how good it could have been. Do ya understand?"
Ezra nodded weakly, panting softly at just the thought of what Buck was about to do to him. His voice was shaking as he offered a feeble protest at having to keep his hands in place. "But... but I want to be able to touch you, Buck. I need to give y--"
Buck shook his head and gave Ezra's hands a gentle squeeze before releasing them. "I told ya, Ezra... not this time." He stared into the beautiful green eyes he loved so much and pleaded with his lover to understand. "Please, Ezra... I don't ask a lot of ya, an' I've tried so hard not to push ya 'cause I know you're kinda scared of what's happenin' between us... but this is real important to me. I need to make you believe in me... in us."
Ezra trembled and stared helplessly back at him. "I don't think I can do it, Buck..."
Buck bent his head and closed his eyes for a minute, fighting against the disappointment that surged through him, and then looked back up at Ezra. "That's okay, pard... we don't have to do this... I understand."
Ezra's heart twisted at the pain in Buck's eyes, and he cursed himself for allowing his foolish doubts and fears to hurt the one person who had ever cared enough about him to try and cross over the distance he kept between his true self and the rest of the world. He saw Buck reaching for his hands and realized he didn't want him to stop after all. "No... don't! I... I want to believe, Buck... I'm just not sure if I can." Ezra's eyes still shone with the fear he felt at opening himself up fully to his lover, but now there was also a glimmer of hope mixed in with it. Hope that maybe Buck held the key that would unlock his heart. "Help me... please?"
Buck cupped Ezra's face in his hands and smiled gently at him. "Don't worry, Ezra... we're gonna start tearin' those walls of yours down... one damn brick at a time."
After giving Ezra a quick kiss, Buck moved around behind him and began gently rubbing his back, trying to ease the nervous tension out of Ezra's body and make him more receptive to his touch. Once he felt him begin to relax, Buck slipped his arms around the smaller man and lightly hugged him as he whispered softly in his ear. "Okay, Ezra... time to finish gettin' ya ready. I've waited eight very long weeks to see your beautiful body again, an' I just can't wait any longer." He unfastened the wide, red sash and eased it from around Ezra's slender waist, and then stood fingering the material as he looked up at the white-knuckled grip the young agent had on the bar. He held the sash up in front of Ezra and caught his gaze in the mirror. "Would it make it easier for you if your hands were tied?" Buck saw a glimmer of fear appear briefly in his eyes and quickly added, "The same rules would apply... you tell me to stop and it's over. You just won't have to concentrate so hard on keepin' hold of the bar this way. The only thing I want you thinkin' about is what I'm doin' to you... nothin' else."
Ezra stared at the sash and then at Buck. His tongue darted out to nervously moisten his lips as he struggled against his irrational fear of being restrained in any way. He wanted to say no... wanted to believe that he was strong enough to hang on once his insecurities kicked in, but in his heart, he knew he wasn't... knew that the minute Buck started talking about love, he'd let go and run just like he always did. He finally nodded at his lover and whispered, "Do it."
Buck asked him if he was sure, and when Ezra again nodded his head, reached up and carefully secured his hands to the bar. He felt Ezra tremble as he stared up at his bound hands and hugged him again. "I promise... the moment you tell me to stop, it comes off. Okay?"
Ezra turned his head and stared into Buck's deep blue eyes, saw the truth of his words, and lightly kissed him. "I trust you, Buck."
With a heart-felt sigh of relief, Buck touched his forehead to Ezra's and closed his eyes. "Thanks, pard... you have no idea how much I needed to hear that." After a minute, he opened his eyes again and quietly asked, "You ready?"
"No." But Ezra's quick denial was accompanied by a small, shaky laugh, so Buck grinned and went back to the enjoyable task of seducing his sexy lover.
Buck wrapped his long arms around Ezra and slowly stroked his way down across the hard, flat stomach until he reached the top of the silk trousers. He felt Ezra shudder as his fingers slipped just beneath the edge of the waistband and slowly began to slide around to the smaller man's slender hips. Bending his head slightly, Buck gently nuzzled at the dark wisps of hair that curled softly against the nape of Ezra's neck, and felt him shudder again as his head slowly dropped toward his chest.
Ezra tightened his grip on the bar and watched as Buck slowly began easing the trousers down his legs. The combined light touch of the silk and Buck's fingers against his bare skin was a maddening cross between a tickle and a caress which had his legs quivering so badly that he had a hard time holding his foot off the floor while Buck slipped his sandal off and finished removing his pants. The quivering increased to a leg-shaking tremble when Buck placed several light nuzzling kisses on his knees and thighs as he slowly stood up.
Stepping back and circling slowly around Ezra, Buck found himself growing hard as he took in the delicious sight of his young lover clad only in the snow white breechclout. The cloth was draped loosely between his legs and wound snugly around his waist leaving a tantalizing strip of naked hip exposed for Buck's hungry gaze.
"I don't know, Ezra... I think maybe ya oughta consider givin' up the boxers for this little number. Looks damn good on ya." Buck trailed his fingers lightly along Ezra's hip and then across the front of the clout, wrenching a soft groan from the Southerner as his fingers brushed against the gentle swell of his erection.
Ezra rested his head weakly against his upraised arm and squeezed his eyes shut as Buck's teasing touch sent little shivers of anticipation rippling through him.
Running his hand over Ezra's other hip, Buck moved to stand behind him again and then began gently massaging the tight mounds of his ass through the soft linen, grinning in satisfaction as Ezra let out a moan of pure pleasure and unconsciously began rocking his hips when the confining material was pulled tight across his growing arousal. He waited until Ezra's breath was coming in small, gasping pants and his rocking had changed to gentle thrusts, and then, his eyes never leaving the younger man's reflection in the mirror, he reached up and removed the breechclout.
Buck watched with satisfaction as Ezra's movements came to a shuddering halt and his eyes flew open, their jade green depths clouded with desire and confusion as they stared into Buck's. He saw Ezra blink several times and open his mouth to speak before his gaze shifted slightly, and the realization hit that he now stood exposed and vulnerable in front of his partner.
Ezra felt a hot blush start at the tips of his bare toes and spread all the way up to the roots of his hair when he saw Buck was staring at him, his passion-filled eyes devouring every scrap of his nakedness. When the other man's attention fastened on Ezra's hard, throbbing erection, he dropped his head in embarrassment as all his usual insecurities about his appearance flooded through him.
Buck had seen the play of emotions on Ezra's face before he turned away and knew immediately what was going through his mind. Gently grasping his chin, Buck forced Ezra to return his gaze to the mirror. His heart ached when he saw the shame and disgust in the jade green eyes as Ezra was once again confronted with his reflection. Buck wrapped his arms around him, and resting his chin on Ezra's shoulder, pressed his face against his young friend's smooth cheek. "Ah, Ezra... how can I get ya to see what I do?" How the hell did he fight against the twenty-eight years of damage that Ezra's mother and other thoughtless friends had inflicted on him?
"Tell me what ya see, Ezra."
Ezra's face was filled with pain as he quickly shook his head and Buck quickly relented.
"Then I'll tell you what I see instead." Buck ran his hands slowly over Ezra's body, stroking and caressing the satiny skin as he talked. "I see a sweet, sensitive man who is kind, loyal, honest, intelligent, compassionate, and one of the best friends a person could ever dream of havin'." He kissed Ezra's bare shoulder and felt a tremor shake his slender form. "I see the man who has turned my ordinary, boring existence into a heaven on earth... the man I want to spend the rest of my life with." Buck saw tears glistening on Ezra's dark lashes and hoped it was because he was getting through to him. "All of these things are what make you so beautiful to me, Ezra... and nothin' you or anyone else says will ever make me see ya any differently."
Ezra drew in a shuddering breath and leaned weakly back against Buck, closing his eyes to try and hide the emotions that were welling up inside of him. "God, Buck... please don't do this to me..."
"I have to, Ezra." Buck reached up and tugged lightly on the gold bracelet encircling his lover's slender wrist. "I meant this, Ezra... I want it more than I can possibly explain. But how can we have forever, if you won't even let me tell ya that I love you?" Buck felt Ezra flinch and try to pull away at the mention of that word. He tightened his hold on the smaller man and prayed Ezra wouldn't ask him to stop as he decided it was time to push a little. "Why can't I say it, Ezra? Why won't ya let me tell you how I feel? Open your eyes, pard... look at me and tell me why ya don't want to hear it?"
Ezra complied and gazed despairingly into Buck's eyes. "I can't... Buck, please... you're goin' to ruin everything..."
Buck released Ezra and stepped back before he gave into the urge to try and shake some sense into him. "Ruin everything?! How can I ruin everything just by lovin' you?!" Then he saw the doubt flare in Ezra's eyes before he could hide it and he knew. His voice was hoarse with emotion as he said, "You still don't think I really love ya, do you?" Ezra quickly looked away, and Buck knew he was right. He decided to get back on track with his original plan and moved forward to pull Ezra into his arms again.
Buck cradled Ezra's face in his hands and lowered his mouth until his mustache brushed teasingly across the other man's lips, and whispered huskily, "You are so wrong, Ezra... and I'm gonna prove it to ya." Buck saw his lips part expectantly, but proceeded to feather kisses across his eyes, forehead, cheeks... everyplace but his mouth.
And then Buck launched a full-fledged assault on Ezra's senses, showing no mercy as he lightly stroked, caressed, and kissed every inch of the smaller man's lithe body. Along with the tormenting touches, Buck kept up a constant barrage of seductively whispered words... reasons why he knew it was love... promises of forever... anything he could think of to make Ezra believe.
Buck looked in the mirror at the Southerner, saw that he had his eyes closed, and softly ordered him to open them. "I want ya to watch everything I do to you, Ezra... I want ya to see my hands and lips on you... I want ya to watch me worship every inch of your beautiful body." And thanks to the wall of mirrors surrounding them, Ezra was going to be forced to watch whether he wanted to or not. Ezra's eyes slowly opened at the whispered command, and Buck nearly found himself losing his battle to stay detached when he got a look at the desperate longing to believe that blazed out at him from that steady green gaze.
Moving in close, Buck's fingers skimmed over Ezra's chest, teasing his nipples into hard little nubs that throbbed lightly with every beat of his heart, while at the same time, he covered his tense, quivering stomach with tantalizing licks and nibbles that had Ezra squirming and struggling to breathe.
"If I don't love you... why do I get breathless just from the sound of your voice?
Kneeling in front of Ezra, Buck began a series of tender caresses and gentle kisses over the delicate skin of his lover's inner thighs and hips, coming close to Ezra's painfully throbbing erection, but never quite touching it... while his hands reached around to caress his smooth, perfectly-rounded cheeks, his fingers dipping in and teasingly skimming over the sensitive puckered flesh that nestled between them.
"If I don't love you... why does my heart feel like it's going to pound out of my chest every time you walk into the room?"
Ezra twisted and moaned under Buck's agonizingly slow teasing strokes, his hips bucking and rocking in an effort to get his torturer to touch him where he craved it the most. He felt his fingers begin to cramp from being clenched so tightly around the bar and was thankful now for the sash that prevented him from letting go and forcing Buck to stop. Because even through the flood of desire and passion that was clouding his mind, Ezra knew he didn't want that to happen. He was so close to understanding... to believing...
"If I don't love you... why are thoughts of you constantly on my mind? Day or night... you're always there."
Buck could see that Ezra had just about reached the limit of his endurance. Rising to his feet, he gently brushed back the few curling, sweat-soaked locks of hair that clung to the Southerner's forehead and placed a gentle kiss on his flushed cheek before once again moving to stand behind him.
Buck's heart raced as he took a moment to stare at Ezra's reflection in the mirror. His body glistened with a layer of sweat, his chest heaved as he fought for every ragged breath he took, his whole body was shaking with the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him, and his long, incredibly hard cock throbbed and pulsed with its need for release.
Buck caught and held Ezra's gaze in the mirror as he whispered, "Ezra... why do I feel like the best part of me is missing when you're not with me?" He wrapped one arm tightly around Ezra's waist, while he let his other hand begin a slow glide down his lover's side. "I need you, Ezra... I need forever with you."
Ezra's body began to tremble uncontrollably as everything Buck had been saying finally worked its way past the doubt... past the fear... and gave him the strength to accept what his heart had known all along...
Buck pressed his lips against Ezra's ear, and just as his hand closed around the Southerner's aching shaft, he breathed, "I love you, Ezra..."
Buck loved him...
Ezra couldn't speak... could barely breathe as the love he felt for this man surged through him, tearing apart the walls that had held his heart captive for so long. With a strangled cry, Ezra's back arched and his hips thrust violently against Buck's hand as he erupted in an explosive climax that left him shuddering and gasping helplessly for breath.
Buck kept his tight hold on Ezra's waist as he reached up to release his hands. Then he eased them both slowly down to the floor and gathered his trembling lover into his arms.
Ezra turned and curled up against Buck's chest, resting his head weakly against the bigger man's broad shoulder as he waited for his heart to stop thundering and his breathing to even out.
Buck ran his big, gentle hands over Ezra's back and arms, trying to calm the smaller man as well as himself, and pressed his cheek against Ezra's sweaty forehead as he slowly rocked them back and forth. "You okay, pard?"
At first, all Ezra could do was nod, but after a few minutes of Buck's tender ministrations, he found he had quit shaking enough to sit up. He stared at Buck with watery green eyes, a look of incredulous joy on his face at the knowledge that this beautiful man truly loved him.
Ezra reached out and cupped Buck's face in his trembling hands as he realized he was finally able to say the words. "Buck... I lo-"
But before Ezra could finish, Buck gently placed his fingers over his mouth. "Don't, Ezra... not yet."
Ezra shook his head in bewilderment as he pulled away from Buck's silencing gesture. "But, Buck... I can finally tell you th--"
Buck again placed his hand over Ezra's lips, shrugging lightly and giving him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, pard... I guess it's my turn to be scared."
Ezra could only frown... his confusion so great at this turn of events that he didn't even know what to say.
Buck slipped his hands around Ezra's and squeezed gently. "I know what ya wanna tell me, Ezra... and I promise you, there's nothing I want more in this world than to hear those words come out of your mouth. Just... not now. Not right after what you just went through." Buck sighed as he struggled to explain himself so that Ezra didn't think he was being rejected. "I've got some of the same fears you had, pard... I'm scared to death your just feelin' it because of the intensity of the sex... an' that you'll wake up tomorrow and realize it isn't true."
Ezra was startled to hear the same doubts he'd always had come out of his usually confident friend's mouth. How could he not understand since, until just moments ago, he'd always been crippled by the same fear? "Okay, Buck... it's goin' to kill me to do it, but I'll wait." He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the other man's neck and whispered softly in his ear, "But you just better know, waitin' isn't goin' to change how I feel."
Buck felt tears flood his eyes as he pulled Ezra in against him and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Ezra... forever and always." He felt Ezra nod against his shoulder and then realized he was shivering. Buck eased him back and kissed him tenderly before standing and pulling the smaller man to his feet. "Come on, pard... let's get you into that nice warm bed... I don't want Vin on my case when you come down with a cold."
Ezra stared quizzically up at him as Buck threw his arm around his shoulders and led him toward the bedroom.
Buck grinned at him. "Remember? He told me to make sure I got ya tucked in all nice an' cozy like... an' I sure don't want that tracker mad at me for not followin' orders."
Ezra burst out laughing and assured Buck he could tuck him in, just as long as he climbed in with him. He told him he wouldn't be cozy unless he had someone big and warm to snuggle up against.
Buck decided that sounded like a terrific idea and rushed Ezra down the hall and practically threw him onto the bed. While Ezra had his back turned as he situated his pillow, Buck quickly stripped out of his costume and climbed in beside him. Suddenly, it was his turn to be shy.
Ezra pulled the thick down comforter up over them and then burrowed in beside Buck. He sighed as the larger man's arms folded around him and pulled him close, and gratefully cuddled up against him.
Just as Buck reached to turn off the light, Ezra remembered something. Raising up slightly, he looked shyly into Buck's questioning eyes and asked, "Buck? Are you sure you don't want--"
Buck shushed him and pushed his head back down against his shoulder. "I'm positive, Ezra... I told ya... tonight was yours." He stretched his arm out and switched off the lamp and then curled back around Ezra. "But you best get some rest, pard... 'cause I plan on makin' up for it tomorrow."
Ezra rested his hand on Buck's hip and slowly stroked his thumb back and forth over the sleek skin. "Consider it a date, Mr. Wilmington."
Buck grabbed Ezra's hand and held it tightly against his chest. "We won't make it until tomorrow if you keep that up. Good night, Ezra."
Ezra snuggled closer to his lover and sleepily mumbled, "'night, Buck."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra awoke surprisingly early the next morning, a smile appearing on his face as the sleep fogging his brain slowly cleared and was replaced with his memories of the night before. He lay still, quietly staring at the man who had completely captured his heart as he waited impatiently for him to awaken.
Finally, he could stand it no longer. Ezra eased his hand out from under the covers and gently began stroking Buck's face... smoothing the unruly curls back off his furrowed brow before trailing his slender fingers down along the lightly stubbled cheek.
Buck slowly woke up and smiled as he found himself staring into a pair of brilliant green eyes.
Ezra leaned forward, planted a soft kiss on his companion's mouth, and finally said the words he'd held guarded in his heart for so long. "I love you, Buck."
-The End-
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