Disclaimer: Buck and Ezra don't belong to me. Lapsing into Ezra speak now and then doesn't constitute stealing, does it?
Comments: Uh... this is the part where I'm supposed to say something clever or pithy, or at least to the point, right? You should all know by now that aint gonna happen. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I was about to shut up and let you read the darn story already. If you're so inclined. But maybe you're leaning more towards hitting the ol' delete button. That's ok. I have a good imagination. Fully capable of pretending that you are all reading (and enjoying) every word. <g>
"Thank you, darlin'." Buck Wilmington tossed the saloon girl a dazzling smile and blew a quick kiss in her direction before heading upstairs. Her tired face brightened momentarily as she watched his tall figure climb the stairs leading to the private rooms above. Then with a sigh and a barely perceptible shake of her head, she turned back to the cowboy at her elbow. The one looking to buy a few hours of her company tonight. If she was lucky, maybe he'd fall asleep right afterwards and she could have an hour or two of precious time to herself before she had to entertain some other man looking to spend both his seed and his coin in the same place.The things that went on behind the closed doors in the rooms abovestairs might have surprised even Buck, who thought he'd seen everything. Obviously he'd been wrong about that, though. Because after knocking rather perfunctorily on the door of room 3, he opened it and walked in to see a sight he'd never have imagined in a thousand lifetimes.
"Ezra?" Buck stood there, gaping like a landed fish at the sight of the southern gambler in the arms of a tall, blond cowboy. They'd been kissing. Hot and heavy from the looks of them. Ezra's green eyes were glazed and his usually immaculate hair was in disarray. His jacket was slung over a nearby chair. The fancy shirt he wore underneath was half unbuttoned and his feet were bare. Buck glanced at the blond cowboy and saw that he was still fully dressed, thank God. Although he had several buttons on his trousers undone. A fact that Buck found very disturbing. Because that would've meant that Ez... No he didn't want to think about that.
"Who the hell are you?" The blond frowned, his hands reaching automatically for the gun that was resting atop the small table in the corner.
Ezra took a step away from his companion, placing a hand lightly upon one of his companion's arms. "That is my associate, Mr. Wilmington. Please refrain from shooting him until I find out what sort of dire news could make him come barreling in here unannounced like this."
"I knocked." Buck protested automatically. His mind was still trying to take in what he'd seen.
"Apparently not loudly enough." Ezra muttered.
"A herd of wild horses could've stampeded through here and you two wouldn't have noticed." Buck's tone was a bit accusing.
"That is exactly the effect we were aiming for."
"Ezra?" The blond cowboy asked, interrupting the two men.
"I'm afraid business must take precedence over pleasure." The gambler sighed regretfully.
"Yeah. We got business to discuss." Buck echoed, tempted to push the man out the door with one booted foot to the rear if he didn't get gone in the next few seconds.
"Maybe another time then." The blond gave Buck a hard look before finally gathering up his hat and his gunbelt and leaving the room.
"Well, Mr. Wilmington, I trust you have a good reason for interrupting what was supposed to be a private tete a tete." Ezra folded his arms and glared at Buck, his green eyes full of annoyance.
"A private tet a what? And speakin' of tet a whats, what the hell were you doin' with that fellow?"
"I should have thought that obvious even for a man of limited perception."
"That aint what I meant. I meant..."
"Why don't you just tell me why you're here."
"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sheriff needs us to help out with a gang of rustlers. A couple of local ranchers got them pinned down a few miles outside of town, but they need some backup."
Ezra had put his boots and gunbelt on while Buck was talking, and was now buttoning his shirt. Buck looked away from the sight, uncomfortable with the memory of Ezra's face, heavy with desire.
"I'll uh... meet you downstairs, Ez." Buck turned and hurried out of the room as the gambler began shrugging into his jacket.
"Well, Luck is definitely no Lady." Ezra groaned aloud, reaching for his hat. He was usually very careful to keep his sexual proclivities a secret, but running into his old lover unexpectedly, combined with the fact that he was in a strange town far from home, had caused him to act in a slightly indiscreet fashion. What sort of price he would pay for that bit of indiscretion remained to be seen.
+ + + + + + +
"I can't thank you two boys enough for helping out with those rustlers." The sheriff of Gladewater put his feet up on the battered desk in the small office and leaned back in his chair.
"It was our pleasure, sheriff." Buck smiled without any real enthusiasm.
"The stage ought to be here any day now and then you boys can get on with your real jobs."
"Guarding the army's payroll. There are times I can't believe my life." Ezra muttered under his breath.
Buck remained quiet as the sheriff got to his feet and escorted the two men to the door.
"If we are fortunate the stage will make an appearance tomorrow and we may begin the onerous duty our illustrious leader saw fit to saddle us with."
Buck made no reply. He just continued walking, a slight frown on his face.
"It's a beautiful night out, don't you agree Mr. Wilmington?" A note of irritation was audible in the smooth, southern drawl.
"I believe a glass of whiskey is in order." Ezra sighed as Buck continued to ignore him. He pretended not to notice how careful Buck was not to touch him as they walked along.
"Perhaps I will just order a bottle. What will you be having?" The gambler scowled and stopped abruptly, as he again received no reply. Buck's continuing silence was fast becoming more than a mere annoyance. He turned to block the taller man's way and, after one startled glance, Buck stopped as well, sidling away a bit as Ezra took a step closer.
"Is there something you would like to say to me, Mr. Wilmington?" Ezra demanded angrily. He was angry with himself for allowing his desires to overcome his better judgement and he was angry with Buck for not being able to accept what he had seen. What Ezra was. Well, Ezra P. Standish had gotten through the first thirty-one years of life just fine without friends. He was perfectly capable of doing so again.
/Liar./ Ezra ignored the little voice inside that said differently.
"I don't get it, Ez." Buck seemed oblivious to the gambler's anger.
"And what is it exactly that you don't get?" Ezra's voice was icy. He knew perfectly well what Buck was talking about, but he'd be damned if he'd make things easy for the other man.
"There's so many women out there." Buck waved his arms around for emphasis.
"Your point being?"
"Well, women are different from us." Again Buck waved his arms around, clearly trying to make Ezra understand.
"Yes. Some might say they are a different species entirely." Ezra said dryly, thinking of Maude and Mary Travis and all the other women he'd known in his lifetime.
"So if you know that, then why...?"
The gambler looked closely at his companion. Buck didn't seem particularly upset. In fact, he seemed more... puzzled than anything else. Ezra was beginning to feel the same way. What exactly was going through Buck's head?
"Perhaps we should discuss this somewhere else, Mr. Wilmington?" Ezra's cool tone gave no hint of his true feelings.
Buck glanced around him, finally appearing to notice the fact that they were standing in the middle of the town thoroughfare.
"I reckon so." Buck shrugged a bit sheepishly and followed Ezra as he led the way to the hotel where they were staying.
+ + + + + + +
"I just don't get it, Ez. I've seen you looking at women." They had barely gotten settled into chairs in Buck's hotel room when Buck began talking.
"Yes. I enjoy women. I just happen to enjoy men as well." Ezra sighed and rubbed his head.
"But women are soft and they smell different. They're a mystery just waitin' to be solved. What the hell would you want another fella for when you can have that?"
"Have you never heard the saying, Variety is the spice of life?"
"Well, yeah. But I always figured they were talkin' about a variety of women."
"I'm sure that in your case, they were." Ezra murmured.
"So what does it feel like then? Is it like touchin' yourself? Cause I gotta say, that aint near as much fun as havin a pair of helping hands do the job for you."
Ezra buried his face in his hands, stifling a groan. On second thought, an angry Buck didn't sound half bad.
"No, Buck. I assure you that it is nothing at all like touching oneself."
"I just don't get it, Ez."
"I know."
"Women are different."
"So you've said."
"A man's got all the same parts. Ain't no mystery there."
"There is something to be said for familiarity."
"What?"
"There's... awww hell." Ezra drained his glass of whiskey and quickly refilled it. Then he watched as Buck did the same.
"So?"
"So what?"
"You ain't explained nothin' yet."
"I'm not certain it can be explained." Ezra drained his glass again and again refilled it.
"Why not?"
"Why do you wish to have it explained?"
"Cause I don't get it."
Ezra drained yet another glass of whiskey before taking a deep breath. "Yes. I know you do not get it. As I said, it is not something which can be easily put into words."
"But you know lots of words, Ez. If anyone can do it, you can."
"Arrgghhh..."
"Come on, Ez." Buck said encouragingly. That was the last straw for the southerner. If Mr. Wilmington wished to understand, then Ezra was going to do his best to oblige.
"Words are not enough in this case, Buck." Ezra leaned over and kissed the taller man, pressing his lips determinedly against Buck's. See Part I for Disclaimers etc.
VARIETY AINT A SPICE
Ezra pulled back from the kiss a split second before Buck shot to his feet, toppling his chair over behind him.
"What the... Why did... I asked you to tell me, not damn well show me!" Buck glared down at Ezra. He no longer looked puzzled. Now he just looked irate.
Ezra shrugged. "The pursuit of knowledge can be a dangerous pastime, my friend."
"I wasn't pursuing' anything. I was just askin'."
"The difference being?"
"The difference bein' that you don't go around kissin' your friends like that. Especially not if he's another man."
Ezra met Buck's blue gaze steadily. "I apologize if I stepped out of bounds with my actions, Mr. Wilmington. But you shouldn't ask questions when you are not prepared for the answer."
"I was prepared for the answer. I just wasn't prepared for you kissin' me!"
Ezra rose to his feet, a bit unsteadily. Lord, he'd had more to drink than he'd realized. Well, obviously he must have or he would never have done such an asinine thing. Kiss Buck? What had he been thinking?
"I have already apologized, Buck. What else would you like for me to do? Shoot myself in remorse?"
"I want you to take it back!"
"Take it back?" Ezra repeated incredulously. "And how do you propose I do that?"
"Hell if I know."
"There seems to be quite a bit you don't know."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just what I said."
"Go away Ezra, before I decide to shoot you with no remorse at all."
"Gladly. And by the way, you're a lousy kisser!"
+ + + + + + +
Buck paced furiously around the room after the gambler had stalked out. He should've known better than to ask Ezra anything. The man was crookeder than a constipated snake. Although what that had to do with Ez kissin' him, he didn't know. But it made him feel better to think it.
"A lot I don't know. Hah!" Buck stopped his pacing and shook his fist in the direction of the door. "I know plenty."
"I should've shot him." Buck resumed his pacing.
"A lousy kisser, my Aunt Fanny. I've been told I'm the best there is by those that oughtta know."
"He probably ain't ever kissed anything 'cept no account cowboys like the one he was with tonight. Nothin' to 'em but a lick and a promise."
"He was just sayin' that cause he was mad I didn't kiss him back."
"But if I didn't kiss him back, then he don't know what a great kisser I am."
"Well hell." Buck tore open the door of his room and stormed down the hall.
+ + + + + + +
"Take it back. Imbecile." Ezra Standish stalked back and forth down the length of his room.
"Shoot me. Hah! I'd like to see him make the attempt. Overgrown buffoon."
"Acting like the town virgin because of a simple kiss. It was hardly even worthy of the apellation."
"He wasn't a lousy kisser, anyway." Ezra stopped dead as those words escaped his lips. He'd meant to say was. Awwwww hell.
"The mustache added a piquant touch. It was a novelty, that was all."
"I wonder what it would feel like rubbing against my..."
"Stop it, Ezra. You don't wonder that. Really you don't."
"But I do."
"This is ludicrous. Not only are you lusting after the wrong man, but you're talking to yourself, as well."
"I am not talking to myself. I am merely conducting an internal dialogue aloud in the privacy of my own room."
"The difference being?"
"Aaaaarrrggghhhh...." Ezra sank down on the edge of the bed.
+ + + + + + +
"All right, Ezra. We'll see who's a lousy kisser and who ain't." Buck surged into Ezra's room like his tail was on fire.
"What are you..." Ezra never got a chance to finish his sentence, because all of Buck's not inconsiderable weight knocked the breath out of him as he was borne back onto the bed.
"No one's ever gonna have the opportunity to say Bucklin T. Wilmington is a bad kisser." Buck lifted his lips from Ezra's long enough to say.
"This isn't... I'm not... Kissing is..." Ezra managed to turn his head away from Buck's questing lips long enough to speak, but the words were not coming out in any coherent sort of fashion.
"Don't try and tell me I'm doin' it wrong, Ezra. Kissin' is kissin' whether it's a man or a woman."
"That's not what I was going to say."
"Then what were you goin' to say?"
"I..."
"You were gonna say you realized what a terrible mistake you made sayin' I was a lousy kisser?"
"No. That is not what I was going to say, either."
"Then what were you gonna say?"
"I don't actually recall what I was going to say."
"My kissin' turned your brains to mush, that's why."
"That is not why." Ezra wriggled out from underneath his companion and sat up.
Buck rolled over until he too was sitting up, facing Ezra.
"What's the matter, Ez? I thought you liked kissin' men."
"Why are you here, Buck?"
"You said I was a lousy kisser."
"I take it back. You're a magnificent kisser. Now will you kindly go away."
"You're not a bad kisser, either."
"Huzzah."
"I think I might've enjoyed kissin' ya."
Ezra groaned. "Will you please go away?"
"I really think I liked it, Ez."
"I can't believe I'm having this conversation."
"Well, I can't believe I wanna kiss ya again, but I do."
"And after you kiss me again, then what?"
"I don't know. Can't we just do the kissin' thing for a while and see what happens? You did like kissin' me, didn't ya?"
"I should say no."
"I knew it. 'ppears my animal magnetism works on the fellas just like it does the ladies."
"If that was the case, I'd be running down the hall screaming. But first I'd slap your face."
"You're just jealous. Cause I got it and you don't. Course, you're kinda cute, even without it."
"Buck? Kissing works better when you're not talking."
"MMMmmmmmnnnnn."
THE END
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