"The Bible says an eye for an eye. I reckon a neck for a neck is almost the same." Vin opened his eyes at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. A young blond fella was standing over him. Looked to be a few years younger than Vin. Tall. A little on the skinny side. He reminded Vin of someone, but it was hard to think through the haze of pain in his head."Who..?" The tracker croaked. His throat felt tight and hot. The words scraped like sandpaper against it. He squinted his eyes, trying to focus on the looming figure.
"Who am I?" The young man laughed bitterly. "My name is Matthew Leary." He said the name like it meant something. Maybe it did. Or rather, maybe it should.
Gingerly, Vin tried to sit up. That was when he discovered that he was bound hand and foot. Whoever Matthew Leary was, he was no friend of Vin's. Dammit. How the hell had this happened? The last thing he remembered...
The last thing he remembered was him and Chris havin' words. No big surprise there. Things hadn't been real friendly between the two of 'em lately. Not since Melissa Yates and her husband had hit town.
Melissa was the daughter-in-law of Judge Travis's oldest friend. Her husband was a rich banker type fella. A pompous ass, if you asked Vin. The tracker hadn't liked him from day one. Man was twistier than a snake with a knot in its tail. He was up to something. Vin would stake his life on it.
He'd tried tellin' Chris his feelings about the man, but the gunslinger had shrugged them off. He'd reminded Vin that Melissa was a married woman and bein' a pompous jerk wasn't a hangin' offense on the part of her husband.
Vin knew Chris was thinkin' about Charlotte when he said those words. But it wasn't like that this time. And Vin was determined to prove it. He'd spent all his spare time tryin' to find evidence against Yates and Chris hadn't been too happy about that.
And then Buck had gotten hurt and that had pushed Chris over the edge. He'd said if Vin was too busy chasing after married women to do his job, then maybe he should find another line of work. And Vin had been mad enough to agree. He'd stormed out of Nathan's clinic, guilt and anger and frustration all churning in his gut. He'd gone for a ride to try and cool off some before going back to town. He knew he couldn't leave the way things were. But he'd never made it back to town. Because...
Because he'd started feeling sick. He'd been doing his best to ignore the chills and fever and sore throat he'd had the last few days, but it was catchin' up with him. And then he'd stopped to rest and...
And someone had apparently hit him over the head, hogtied him and then sat around waitin' for him to wake up so they could tell him why they'd hit him over the head and hogtied him.
Ok. So now he had a fair idea of who that someone was. Matthew Leary. But who the hell was Matthew Leary?
"I know you?" It hurt to talk. Hurt to think, too.
"You knew my brother. Jason Leary. You took him in to hang and now I'm gonna return the favor."
"Jason Leary?" Vin struggled to remember. A faint picture of a lean, sharp faced man with eyes the same light blue color as his captor's. The man had had a...
"He had a scar, didn't he?" Vin asked abruptly. "Above his left eyebrow?"
"He fell out of the hayloft when we were kids." The young man jerked him roughly to his feet and half dragged him over to where a husky dark haired man waited with the horses.
"You ready?" The dark haired one helped secure Vin to the saddle and then he and Matthew mounted up and they started riding, leading the tracker's horse between them.
Vin tried to take stock of his surroundings as they rode, but the chills wracking his body made it difficult to concentrate on anything except staying in the saddle. His head ached fiercely now. Felt like someone was driving railroad spikes into his brain. And the pain in his throat seemed to have spread down into his chest. With each mile they rode, he slid further and further toward the precipice of exhaustion and finally to near delirium.
Snatches of his captors' conversation occasionally pierced his mental fog. He struggled to hold onto them, but they merged with his fevered thoughts til he was no longer certain what was real and what was not.
"You gonna collect the bounty on him when we get to Tascosa?" Was that the dark haired one talking? Vin couldn't seem to open his eyes to look.
"No. You can have it. The only thing I want is justice. My brother was innocent and this bastard took him in and let him hang."
"Wasn't really his fault they hung Jason, you know."
"It was somebody's fault. I'm giving Tanner the same chance he gave my brother."
Had Jason Leary really been innocent? He didn't remember ever bringing in anyone who he'd thought might be innocent, but he could've been wrong. Wouldn't be the first time he'd been wrong about things. He'd been wrong about Chris. He'd waited around thinking the bastard might finally say something to him.
Or maybe what was wrong was that he hadn't said anything. Something like 'Hey Larabee, drop them drawers cause I want a piece of that ass.' Why hadn't he said that again? He couldn't remember now. And why hadn't Chris said it?
Well hell, there was Chris now. Maybe he'd just ask him why.
"Vin." Chris sounded kind of funny, but Vin was too happy to see him to really take much note of that fact.
"Chris. How come you never told me to drop my drawers?" Dimly, Vin realized that he wasn't making much sense, but that was ok. Chris seemed to know what he meant.
"I would have sooner or later." Chris shrugged. "Now that you've killed Buck though, it just don't seem fitting." The gunslinger turned and began walking away.
"Killed Buck? What are you... Wait. Chris...Don't leave me. Chris!" Vin tried to catch up to the gunslinger, but something seemed to be holding him back.
"No! Come back! Chris!" The tracker struggled to break free. Why couldn't he move?
"Hold still, goddammit. Unless you want another lump to match the one you already got on that thick skull of yours." The irritated voice of Jason Leary's dark haired companion jerked Vin back to awareness. He stopped struggling and sagged against his captor in relief. It had just been a dream. Buck wasn't dead. He wasn't.
Camp was quickly and efficiently set up by the two men while Vin lay huddled on the ground, shivering under the blanket he'd been given. He hoped like hell Buck was feeling better than he was. Bein' dead was startin' to sound like a pretty good alternative. Except there wouldn't be any Chris Larabee there. And he was pretty sure that fucking Chris half blind would be frowned on in Heaven. And they wouldn't let him do it in Hell either. The devil was a spiteful bastard. So if he was ever gonna do it, he'd have to do it here on Earth. Except that Chris was a spiteful bastard who probably frowned on it, too.
"You think so? Son, I could tell ya stories about Chris Larabee that would take the curl right outta that hair of yours." There was Buck, grinning down at him plain as day. Should he be here? It seemed like there was something Vin ought to know, but he was too busy wondering what Buck meant to give it much thought.
"Stories?"
"Yep. Like that time we were on that cattle drive and... well just ask him to tell you about Abilene one day." Buck nudged him playfully in the shoulder. Ouch. He tried to tell the other man that it hurt, but Buck just did it again. And again. Until finally, Vin started to get mad.
"Dammit, Buck..." he croaked.
"Here. Drink this. Don't want you dying on me before they have a chance to hang you." Vin opened his eyes to see Matthew Leary crouched down beside him, holding a canteen of water to his lips.
Vin raised his head and gulped at the water greedily, feeling it slide painfully down his throat, past his parched lips.
When Matthew had judged he'd had enough, he removed the canteen and got to his feet. Vin let his head fall back. That small effort had exhausted him and he closed his eyes, sliding once more into a fitful sleep.
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Josiah tapped the handle of his hammer thoughtfully against one broad palm as he stared down at Vin.
"Well if you plan on stickin' closer to me, could ya at least untie me?" Vin asked plaintively as Josiah continued to stare thoughtfully at him.
"Friends may be pearls, but love conquers all. I learned that from a wise old fakir."
"A faker? Ain't that the same thing as a liar?"
"No. No. A fakir." Josiah shook his head and sighed. "Lord give me strength."
"I think you got it backwards, Josiah. I'm the one that's tied up here, needin' strength."
"Tied up. Blind. It's all the same. You've got to look past the forest to see the trees." Josiah bent down and retrieved a nail. He began hammering shingles on the church roof. Vin wasn't sure when or how the church had appeared, but he wished Josiah would stop with the hammering already. It was making his head hurt. How many times was he gonna hit the damn nail?
"Stop. Head hurts." Vin moaned in pain, gradually fading to a whimper as the pounding noise faded.
"Yeah. Sometimes trying to figure out what Josiah is saying can make my head hurt, too." JD's cheerful young voice made Vin open his eyes. Or maybe he didn't. It was hard to tell.
"JD?"
"What?"
"Why are you here?"
"I don't know. But thanks for thinking of me. I'm always gettin' left out of things. Just cause I'm young. But I ain't stupid, you know."
"Stupid?" Vin was having a hard time following the conversation. JD kept pacing back and forth as he spoke, making Vin feel dizzy. He closed his eyes for a minute. When he opened them again, he could no longer see the young sheriff.
"JD?"
"He's coming down with something. I made him go take two aspirin and lie down. The last thing we need is for all of us to get sick. We're short handed at the office as it is, with Buck being out of commission." Nathan stepped into view and Vin frowned. Buck was out of commission? He'd looked ok last time Vin had seen him. When he'd told Vin to ask Chris about Abilene. But that hadn't been real, had it? Or was Buck getting shot the thing that wasn't real? And why was Nathan dressed funny? And what was that thing he was holdin'?
"Buck?" That was all Vin could force out of his parched throat.
"Don't worry about him." Nathan snorted. "The pretty nurses at the hospital are taking good care of him. He's busy lounging around watching Oprah or something right now."
"Oprah?" Vin had the feeling there was a lot he didn't understand.
"You take it easy, Vin. I've got to call Ezra and tell him to get his sorry butt down here. He's late."
"No need, Mr. Jackson. I am present and accounted for." The gambler's languid tones reached them just as he came into view.
"I'll be on my way, then." Nathan nodded and disappeared.
"How do you get yourself into these predictaments?" Ezra pursed his lips and glanced down at Vin.
Vin shrugged. Or tried to, anyway.
"I've seen the way you look at him."
"Who?" Vin knew, but he wasn't going to be the first to say it.
"Mr. Larabee, of course." The words, 'don't be an idiot' were implicit in the southerner's tone.
"I don't..."
"You do. You know it. And if the others weren't blinder than the proverbial bats, they would know it, as well."
"Chris...?"
"Can be remarkably blind for a man so perspicacious in other ways."
"Don't wanna know, maybe." Was that it? If so, Vin might as well pack it up and call it a day.
"Maybe. Maybe not." Ezra wasn't helping matters.
"I'm not here to help." Was the gambler reading his mind?
"No. I'm not reading your mind. Mr. Sanchez is not the only one who is a student of human nature. A good gambler always stacks the odds in his favor. Because a good gambler abhors gambling."
"Ez...? You ain't gonna...tell Chris?"
Ezra didn't answer. Instead, he reached into his pocket and took out a deck of cards. Shuffling them a few times, he held the deck out in Vin's direction."You know. Mr. Larabee really is a rather handsome sort of fellow. In that lean, brooding sort of way. What do you say to a little bit of friendly competition? High card wins."
"Why are ya doin' this, Ez?"
"I am merely manifesting your insecurities, my dear boy."
"You can't do it. It ain't right."
"What you did to my brother wasn't right, either." That wasn't Ezra's voice. Vin's eyes flew open and he saw Matthew Leary crouched down beside him once again. It was still dark outside.
"Why don't ya just shoot me?" Vin asked tiredly.
"Cause I ain't a murderer."
"But maybe your brother was. You ever think of that?" Unexpected sympathy rose in him at the sight of Matthew's stricken young face.
"Yeah. I thought of it. Don't believe it."
"Don't want to believe it, ya mean."
"It amounts to the same thing in the end." Matthew gave Vin another drink from his canteen and then went back to his bedroll. Vin could see the vague outline of Matthew's companion nearby. He hadn't moved during their brief conversation.
"Dammit, Chris. You just don't want to believe it either. Cause ya gotta know." Vin mumbled the words as sleep once more claimed him.
"If I was you, I'd be more concerned about hanging than I would be about fucking." Chris's voice observed in his ear.
"It ain't just the fucking I'm concerned about."
"What then? Love?" Chris's voice was scornful.
"You wouldn't know about that anymore, would ya? Cause the only kind of love you believe in nowadays is the kind you can buy from any two bit whore. Or maybe the kind you get from crazy, murdering bitches that used to be your girlfriend." Vin's anger was sudden and intense. He was sick and damn tired of denying what he wanted. If Chris didn't like it that was just too damn bad.
"You better watch it, Tanner. Say anything more and we might both regret it. You more so than me."
"Why? What're you gonna do? Shoot me?" Vin sneered.
"Maybe."
"Go ahead." Despite himself, Vin flinched and closed his eyes as he heard the sound of a gunshot. He waited for the pain, but all he felt was the same old aches and hurts and fever. Well, he reckoned he'd feel the pain eventually. He didn't mind if it took its time arriving.
"Vin? Vin? You ok?" Chris's voice sounded concerned, which confused Vin. Was the gunslinger sorry he'd shot him?
"So who's sorry now?" Vin rasped. He hoped Chris was wracked with guilt. The bastard.
"Nathan, he's burning up. And I think he might be delirious. Come take a look." Vin opened his eyes. What was Nathan doing here again?
"Nate?" Vin peered up at the healer. This time Nathan looked like he was supposed to look. The funny clothes were nowhere in evidence. Vin struggled to sit up.
"Take it easy, Vin. Let me take a look at you." Deftly, the healer sliced the ropes binding him and laid a cool hand against his forehead.
"Where's Buck? Are the pretty nurses still taking good care of him? And what about that Oprah gal?" Vin frowned as Nathan glanced over at Chris before replying.
"Buck's back in town. JD is staying with him." Nathan spoke soothingly and Vin's frown deepened. He had the feeling he'd said something wrong, but he couldn't seem to think well enough to figure out what. There was something else he needed to ask, though.
"Chris. Before you shoot me again, I want to know what happened in Abilene that Buck said would curl my hair. Or maybe it was take the curl out of my hair." Vin knew he was babbling, but he couldn't seem to stop. He'd expected Chris to be pissed off at the question, but all the gunslinger did was shake his head.
"I can see I'm going to have to have another talk with Buck."
"Tell me." Vin tried to sound forceful, but the words came out as a weak whisper. He could feel the darkness creeping over him No, dammit.
"It was a long time ago. It ain't important now."
Vin had the feeling that it was, but before he could insist, the blackness engulfed him and he could no longer fight it.
+ + + + + + +
The next time Vin opened his eyes, he found himself lying in the bed in Nathan's clinic. He'd been there enough times to recognize it instantly. How had he got here, though?
Turning his head, the tracker saw Chris asleep in the chair next to him. The gunslinger hadn't shaved in a few days. And there were dark shadows under his eyes. Vin watched him sleep for a few moments, enjoying the sight. Then Chris opened his eyes and Vin looked away quickly.
"Feeling better?" Chris asked, reaching out to lay a hand briefly against Vin's forehead, just like he remembered Nathan doing.
"Yeah."
"You feel up to telling me what happened?"
"Leary surprised me when I was out ridin'. Tryin' to cool down after..." Vin trailed off awkwardly, reluctant to bring up the subject of their disagreement.
"After our argument." Chris finally said when the silence threatened to drag on.
"Yeah. He was set on takin' me to Tascosa to hang. Seems I took in his brother back when I was bounty huntin'. He was out for..."
"Revenge?"
"No. What he thought was justice. Claims his brother was innocent."
"Was he?"
"I don't know."
"You remember anything else?"
Vin shook his head. The things he remembered didn't make any sense. And he didn't have a hankering to look like a fool in front of Chris. Had Buck really told him to ask Chris about Abilene? And what about Ezra challenging him to a friendly competition? And had Josiah really talked to him about pearls?
"How did you and the others manage to ride to the rescue? Didn't think anyone would come lookin' for me. Figured you'd think I'd made good on my talk of leavin'. Since things haven't been real comfortable between us lately and all." Again Vin trailed off.
Chris sighed. "I know that, Vin. It's my fault. I should've trusted your instincts. We caught Yates up to his eyeballs in dirty dealings."
"Melissa?" Vin asked. Chris's lips tightened briefly, but his voice was level enough when he answered.
"She's fine. On her way home. Said to tell you au revoir."
"Au revoir?"
"It's a fancy way of saying goodbye."
Vin's smile caused Chris to frown slightly.
"I'm glad she's ok."
"Yeah." Chris lapsed into silence and Vin cast around for another topic of conversation. He normally wasn't one to mind quiet, but this felt unpleasantly like the calm before the storm.
"So is that why you boys came lookin' for me? Cause ya figured Yates had me?"
"No. We didn't catch him until day before yesterday. After we'd already brought you back."
"Day before yesterday?" Vin was confused. How long had he been here, anyway?
"You been here four days now. Nathan wasn't sure you were gonna make it for the first couple of days." There was a flash of something perilously close to pain in Chris's face.
"Then why did you come lookin' for me?"
"Because..." Chris hesitated, leaning forward in his chair slightly and clenching his fists.
"He awake yet?" JD's voice interrupted whatever the gunslinger had been about to say. Chris relaxed and sat back in his chair.
"Because I knew you might leave us behind without saying goodbye, but you'd never leave that damn coat behind." Chris shrugged, grinning carelessly. That hadn't been what he was gonna say. Vin knew it. But the moment was gone and there was no getting it back. Maybe it was for the best. No. Fuck that. It might be for the gunslinger's best, but it sure as hell wasn't for Vin Tanner's best.
"I'm awake, JD." Vin smiled at the young man without much enthusiasm. He felt like he could use another four days of sleep. Just as long as he didn't have any more of those crazy dreams.
+ + + + + + +
"Dammit!" Vin Tanner opened his eyes and sat up in bed, cursing. He thought he'd made it clear that he didn't want anymore damn dreams. Although, these ones weren't crazy. They were just drivin' him crazy. If he had to be tortured by these damn dreams, couldn't he at least get some satisfaction out of them? Didn't seem fair that he woke up at the same part each time. The good part. Where Chris was about to fuck him raw.
Vin turned and punched the pillow, burrowing down into the bed. He'd be glad when Nathan let him out of this damn place. He was almost as good as new. But the healer said his wagon was too cold for his still weakened lungs. So he was stuck here, because the only other alternative would have been to stay with Chris and Vin didn't think he could stand that right now. Not with these dreams.
It wasn't that the dreams were bad, exactly. That was the problem. They were too damn good. But they left him aching and frustrated. He could feel the lingering phantom touch of Chris's hands long after he awoke. It made lookin' at Chris damn near impossible lately.
"Bastard." Vin muttered spitefully. He glared over at the empty chair by the bed. Chris and the others no longer stayed the night with him now that he was out of the woods. Vin was very glad that was the case. The way he woke himself up moanin' and beggin' every night the past week, it wouldn't have taken a genius to figure things out.
Maybe if he concentrated, he could pick up where he left off in the dream. It was worth a try. It had never worked before, but hell, it wasn't like he had anything better to do. He closed his eyes.
+ + + + + + +
"More, cowboy. Don't stop." Vin moaned as Chris's lips trailed down his stomach, finally wrapping themselves around his aching cock. His hips bucked wildly as Chris's mouth continued sucking and licking. Shudders wracked his lean frame as he shot his load. And about damn time, too. He heard Chris say something, but he felt far too good to pay any attention. Chris's hands were sliding down his hips and Vin wriggled in satisfaction. This dream was much more to his liking than the other ones had been. Now if only he could get Chris to...
"Open your eyes." Chris's insistent voice was becoming impossible to ignore..
Vin shook his head stubbornly. He knew what would happen if he opened his eyes. The bastard would disappear. Just like he had every night for the past week.
"Goddammit, Vin. Open your eyes." Chris sounded exasperated.
"Why? So you can get out of fucking me? This is my dream, cowboy and you ain't leavin' this time."
"Get out of fucking you? Jesus, Vin. Where the hell do you come up with this shit?"
"What do you mean, where do I come up with this shit? You're the one who..." Vin paused as he realized that his eyes were open and Chris was still there. Glaring at him. Naked as a jaybird. In his bed.
"I'm the one who what?" Chris snapped.
"Who's here." Vin stared at him. "Why are you here?"
"I'm beginning to ask myself the same thing."
"Does this have anything to do with Abilene?"
"No. Nothing has anything to do with Abilene. It has to do with the fact that you talk in your sleep. And the fact that I must've had way more whiskey than I thought." Chris rolled over and reached down to grab his pants off the floor.
"You're leavin'?" Vin asked before he could stop himself.
"Yeah." Chris slid out of bed and pulled his pants on and then reached down for his shirt.
"Don't." That was all Vin's pride would allow him to say. The rest would have to be up to Chris.
Chris shook his head and Vin felt sick with humiliation. Dammit, he should've known better.
"Some things shouldn't be rushed. They're worth waiting for." Chris spoke quietly, green eyes meeting Vin's blue ones as he finished buttoning his shirt.
"I reckon." Vin watched as Chris found his boots and his hat.
The gunslinger paused at the door and turned to look at Vin. "I'll be back, cowboy."
"I'll be waitin'."
The End
Comments to: mismiz@alltel.net