"I'm just sorry you didn't shoot her when you had the chance," Vin said before walking away."Next time," was Chris's quiet and heartfelt reply.
"Vin, wait." Chris slowly stood up, steadying himself against the wall to make sure he had his balance. "Walk back to my room with me."
Vin paused and just nodded and waited for Chris to catch up with him.
They walked slowly, Vin matching Chris's pace in a lazy stroll. Chris's expression was an intense frown of concentration as he tried to formulate his thoughts. For the time being, neither man spoke. Vin waited for Chris to say what was on his mind, while Chris waited, not wanting to talk while they were on the street where someone might interrupt or overhear.
When they reached Chris's room, he walked in and wearily sat down in the chair by the table, the shadows under his eyes were now emphasized by the lack of natural light. Vin followed him in and leaned by the doorframe, his body tense and rigid.
Finally Chris found his voice, "Vin, why...why were you still there that morning at Ella's?" He fixed Vin with a piercing stare, searching for answers on his friend's face.
Vin dropped his eyes, his whole body tensed, but he didn't answer.
For a moment, Chris thought Vin had not heard him. He was about to ask again when he heard Vin's soft drawl.
"Couldn't leave. Had to watch your back, Cowboy." Vin's eyes never left the floor, he shifted his weight and moved to open the door. "That all ya want?"
During the past few days, while Vin was out searching for Ella, Chris had spent most of his time thinking. Thinking about Ella and why he fell for her trap so easily. Thinking about Vin and how he had reacted to Vin's news about Ella.
Chris had been sitting outside, waiting and watching when Buck, JD and Ezra had returned from searching for Ella. When Vin did not return with the others, Chris had been forced to admit the truth to himself. And with it, other things: Why it had been so easy to take Ella up on her offer, why he had gotten angry with Vin for interfering; then later, why he had been so hurt and concerned that Vin had not come back.
And it had eaten at him that Vin might not return.
Now that Vin was back and they were alone to talk, Chris wasn't going to let him leave so easily. "Vin, you mind staying for a bit?"
Vin's shoulders sagged, he avoided looking at Chris directly, "You feeling okay? Should I get Nate?"
Shaking his head, Chris managed a small smile and answered, "No. I'm fine. Just needed to talk to you."
Leaning back against the door with his arms crossed over his chest, Vin asked, "About what?"
Indicating the other chair near the bed, Chris offered, "You want to sit?"
A cool gust of air made the curtains billow, and Vin walked to lower the window. Once he was satisfied that the breeze wasn't too much for Chris, he walked over the chair. He sat down slowly and removed his hat. Playing with the brim, staring at his hands, he waited for Chris.
Sensing Vin's tension, Chris asked, "Want a drink?" Vin's only response was to shake his head, so Chris continued. "I wanted to tell...to ask you...aw hell...I'm sorry, Vin. For not listening to you...when you first told me about...her."
Swallowing hard, Vin started, his voice barely a whisper. "It's okay, Chris. Not important now."
"It is, Vin. If I had listened to you then....Hilda might be alive, I wouldn't have gotten shot, we...we wouldn't have had words." Chris looked over at Vin, who was still intent on his hat.
"Can't predict the future or change the past, Chris. You don't know what might have happened...could have turned out worse. Forget it." Vin stood and started to walk away, he paused and looked back at Chris. "Thanks." A slight smile crossed his mouth, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"You leaving again? You just got back."
"Just figured I'd get me a bath and some food," Vin said as he moved to the door. "You need something?"
Chris couldn't help shake the feeling that something was wrong with Vin. "Company. Will ya come back later. Maybe eat here with me?" Chris tried not to sound as desperate as he felt. He knew it would not take much to spook Vin, with the way he was acting.
Vin nodded and managed to say "Yeah," as he walked out.
+ + + + + + +
Chris sat down on the bed. It was apparent that something was bothering Vin. He figured the apology for how he acted at Ella's would have fixed it. Chris stretched his long legs out on the bed and closed his eyes, but sleep wouldn't come. Something was wrong with Vin and it made Chris wonder if now was a good time to confess his feelings. Chris knew Vin - he could take off for a few days or for good, depending on what was eating at him, so Chris decided he had to take the chance. The decision made, he felt his throat tighten and his gut clench.
+ + + + + + +
The footsteps paused outside his door. Chris hoped that this time it would be Vin. He had already sent Buck, JD, Nathan and Mary on their way, explaining patiently that Vin was bringing by his dinner. He also told Buck and Nathan that he wanted time alone with Vin, to talk. They had agreed it was a good idea. They had all witnessed the angry confrontation between Vin and Chris at Ella's. Chris couldn't help but wonder, based on Buck's willingness to leave him alone, if they an idea of what it was he wanted to say to Vin. He realized that Buck was the only one who knew him well enough to understand why he needed to talk to Vin.
Vin tapped on the door and opened it. Chris was sitting in the chair by the table. Vin noticed that the other chair had been moved to the small plank table across from him.
"Figure it'll be easier to eat sitting at a table." Chris looked up, a ghost of a smile on his face.
Vin carefully set the tray down. "There's steak, potatoes, corn bread and peach pie." He took off his hat and hung it off the back of the chair before he sat down and started to dole out the food. His eyes never looked up to meet Chris's. "Nettie sent the pie, and said to tell you she hopes you're better soon." Forcing himself to look up, he caught Chris's close scrutiny.
Chris managed a hopeful smile, "We'll have to go out and thank her, Nathan finally said I could ride."
Vin noticed the use of ‘we' and mumbled "Sure," and started to eat. He picked at the food, hardly eating much of anything. He did not even touch the peach pie, his favorite.
"No good?" Chris asked, knowing better, but not wanting to ask what was really wrong. His own appetite disappeared, and he laid down his fork.
"It's fine. Just ain't that hungry I guess." Vin glanced up for a second, "You best eat, you need to get your strength back."
"I had enough," Chris said as he pushed his plate away.
Immediately, Vin stood and gathered the dishes and placed them back on the tray to take them away. Chris knew he had to speak his peace, before he lost this chance. Before he lost his nerve.
"Vin, sit down. Got something to tell you." Chris said, his expression pensive.
Not used to seeing Chris look so unsure, Vin sat down but still couldn't meet his friend's eyes with his own. "Chris, if this is about my poking into your business..."
"No, Vin." Chris said more forcefully than he intended. "I need to tell you something, Hell, should have told you a long time ago." He dropped his gaze to his hands, then back up to Vin, "I just don't know how to start. It's about Ella, why I was going to stay there."
As soon as Chris said Ella, Vin's body stiffened. His head snapped up and he chanced a glance at Chris's face. "Chris, you don't have to..."
"Yeah, I do, Vin." Chris looked at Vin, trying to judge the other man's reaction. "I was gonna stay there, with her, because I figured it was easier than staying here. I couldn't have what I wanted here."
"You mean Mary?" Vin asked, dropping his eyes, not wanting Chris to see the pain in his eyes.
"Mary? Why would you think I was interested in Mary?" Chris asked, his shock clearly registered on his face.
"You don't want her? But...who?" Vin questioned glancing up again.
Faced with having to admit his feelings, Chris couldn't say it. He forced out, "After you almost ran off with Charlotte...after you fell in love with her..."
"I never loved her." Vin interrupted as he stood up. "It felt good to be wanted... I figured I lost my chance..."
Now it was Chris's turn to be taken aback. "Lost your chance, how...who?"
"I thought....Mary," was all Vin got out before Chris interrupted him.
"Mary! You have feelings for Mary? Why didn't you tell me..."
"No, not me you! I thought you had feelings for Mary! I...wanted...." Vin started for the door as Chris continued to approach him. Vin wasn't ready to deal with this, he wanted to run out of the room.
Suddenly it was clear to Chris. He reached out and grabbed Vin's arm. It made Vin react, looking at him, tensing in reflex at his touch.
Vin wanted to push Chris aside and run, but the touch felt so good. The pressure from Chris's hand increased and Vin was forced to look into the green eyes. He couldn't believe he saw need and desire there.
Convinced his suspicions were right, deciding actions were better than words where Larabee was concerned, Vin leaned in and kissed Chris.
Chris body tensed at the touch of Vin's mouth, then he pressed his body closer, snaking a hand into Vin's hair. As their lips slowly parted, they both relaxed, reaching out tentatively exploring each other's bodies with their hands.
They continued to kiss, gently, savoring each other's flavors. When they broke the kiss for air, they looked at each other. Vin smiled, his eyes twinkling,"Damn, Cowboy. I've wondered what that was like for a long time."
Chris licked his lower lip savoring, the taste of Vin's salvia from his lower lip, "Me too, too long."
Vin locked eyes with Chris, no longer afraid of what he'd see there, "We wasted a hell of a lot time."
Chris smiled, his eyes colored with passion. "We could make up for it -" indicating the bed with his head.
Vin traced a finger across Chris's lips, "Nothin' I want more, but you ain't completely healed yet."
Before Vin could react, Chris grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall, capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss. Leaning his body in close, Chris pressed his hardness up against Vin and whispered in his ear, "I think I'm healed up enough."
The hot breath on his ear tickled, the feeling of Chris pressed up against him sent him over the edge. His desire mounting, Vin felt the first drops of moisture escape his erection inside his too-tight pants front.
Desperate to regain control, Vin reacted by pushing Chris back to the bed. When the edge of the mattress hit the back of Chris's knees, he sat down, and Vin pressed him backwards until he lay sprawled across it, legs dangling over the edge. Vin knelt, straddling him, with one knee on either side of Chris's slim hips. Licking his lips as he eyed Chris's straining fly, Vin began to undo the buttons. He looked down, his eyes dark with lust, "We're gonna do this my way, Cowboy. I ain't risking hurting you for a quick roll...not when...I almost lost..."
Chris leaned up and kissed Vin's mouth, pulling him downward until Vin braced himself with his hands on either side of Chris's head, allowing Chris to nuzzle his neck and nibble at his throat. When he finally pulled back, he looked up at Vin. This was what he desired, badly enough to wait till he could have Vin the way he wanted to. "You're right, Vin. No need to rush. Not now. We have...."
"Damn, Larabee, when did you start to talk so much?" Vin rose again and moved downward on his body. He freed Chris's erection, gripping it gently and stroking it before he leaned closer. He ran his tongue down the length and teased the balls with his hands.
Chris moaned softly and in his rapture, pressed his body back against the bed writhing with pleasure that went beyond the physical sensations of having Vin's mouth wrapped around him.
Vin teased the tip with his tongue before he took all of Chris into his mouth. Up and down, relentlessly his mouth went, sliding over the steely hardness while his fingers fondled the furry sacs below. He heard Chris moan and felt him tighten in anticipation and was ready when Chris exploded.
Vin swallowed all that came, enjoying the musky flavor that was Chris. When he was sure Chris was spent, Vin let Chris's flesh slip from his mouth and sat back on his heels, satisfied as Chris lay drained on the bed with a smile of contentment that matched Vin's own. Vin stood, shucked off his coat, gun, and boots. He grabbed a towel from the washbasin and joined Chris on the bed. He tenderly wiped the residue from Chris's body and pulled the blond man into his arms. "You ok, pard?" He whispered to Chris.
Chris let him, rolling into his arms like he belonged there. "Better than ok, best I've been in a long time." Chris kissed him, tasting himself. After a moment, he asked "You stayin'?"
"Try and get me to leave, cowboy." Vin replied as he settled in for the night.
They lay in each other's arms for a few minutes in silence, then Vin said, "Chris... you figure we could head out for a few days, just you and me, once you've got your strength back?"
He felt Chris yawn, then he murmured drowsily, "I'm planning on it, Vin."
THE END
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