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Vin couldn't believe what he'd seen. He was with her. How the fuck could Chris have done this to him? After all the bullshit Larabee had fed him. Shit! It's your own fault, Tanner, he berated himself. You never shoulda let him get close."Vin, are you sure you don't want to stay at my place tonight? Ezra asked him quietly.
"No," Vin responded curtly. He was kicking himself inwardly for the way he'd been treating Ezra, but the southerner had been ignoring his rudeness for several hours now. Ever since - Shit! Vin couldn't bear to think about it. "I'll see ya tomorrow," Vin said quickly, and jumped out of the Jag, before Ezra could offer to stay with him tonight. No way he was gonna let Ezra baby sit him.
Standish watched the long haired agent go inside the dilapidated apartment building with concern. Like Vin, he had trouble believing what he had seen.
Several months ago, Chris and Vin had cautiously told the rest of Team Seven about their relationship. It had taken some getting used to on the others parts, but Larabee and Tanner were completely professional at the office and when they were in public, they continued to behave as nothing more than best friends. In a matter of weeks, one by one, the entire team had quietly let them both know that their private life was their own business and they were still not only colleagues, but friends.
So, they'd went on with their work and their friendships. And just tonight, Vin had called to say that Chris had a late meeting he had to attend and would Ezra want to try that fancy new restaurant he'd been trying to get one of them to try with him. Ezra hadn't had any plans, so he'd agreed on the condition that he drive. There was no way, Ezra P. Standish would ever ride in that monstrosity Vin called a vehicle.
Vin had agreed and with some trepidation, Ezra had driven to Purgatorio to pick the sharpshooter up. Vin had pulled his hair back into a neat pony tail and donned his "undercover gangster" suit. They'd bantered good naturedly to the restaurant and been looking forward to a pleasant evening. And then the world had stopped.
When the maitre d had seated them in an out of the way corner, their attention had been drawn to the sound of loud laughter. A boisterous party was underway in the opposite corner of the restaurant. But, what caught their attention, was Chris Larabee sitting with his arm around Mary Travis's shoulder, and looking for all the world like a lover.
He was leaning over listening to something Mary said, and he laughed easily when she finished. Then he leaned over and whispered something in her ear and Mary blushed prettily and lowered her head with a smile. She reached up and touched Chris's cheek lightly, and then turned her attention back to the party.
Vin and Ezra sat stunned. Finally Ezra managed to recover enough to suggest that they go over to the table and say hello, or that they simply leave.
"No," Vin hissed. "We ain't goin' over and we ain't leavin'. We're gonna have dinner."
"Mr. Tanner, you needn't subject yourself to this," Ezra began, only to have Vin thrust a menu at him.
"What do ya want to eat, Ez?" the sharpshooter demanded brusquely, letting Ezra know that the conversation was over.
"My appetite has suddenly deserted me," Standish replied truthfully.
"Mine ain't," Vin spoke shortly. He looked around and in seconds a waiter was at there table. "T bone steak rare, baked potato and salad," he informed the man and handed him back his menu. "Oh, and give me a Coors bottle," he added.
"I'll have the same," Ezra said quietly, keeping one eye on his partner. "But I'd like my steak medium and I'll have a glass of the house red wine."
The waiter nodded and disappeared and Ezra turned his attention fully back to Vin. He had no idea what to say to the other man. Sighing, Ezra realized it wouldn't matter. Vin's attention was fixed on the party in the corner. Or rather, the couple in the corner. The debonair agent could see the pain on his face, as he watched his friend, his boss, his lover, wooing Mary Travis.
A few minutes later, the waiter returned with Vin's beer and the Texan ordered a shot of tequila to go with it. Ezra frowned, he didn't like the direction it appeared the evening was going to take. Suddenly Vin blanched noticeably and Ezra turned in time to see Chris and Mary sharing an intimate kiss.
"I ain't hungry no more, can we go?" Vin asked and threw some money down on the table.
Ezra motioned the waiter back to the table. "My friend is ill, is it too late to cancel our order?" he requested.
"No sir," the waiter replied, taking in Vin's suddenly haggard appearance. "I'll prepare your check."
"Will that cover it?" Standish replied, and indicated the $20 bill Vin had thrown down.
"More than enough sir," the waiter replied.
"Thank you," Ezra said and handed the man the money. With that, he and Vin left the restaurant.
Driving back to Purgatorio, the undercover agent tried to think of something to say to his friend. What did you say to someone who'd just been betrayed by the best friend they'd ever had?
Vin was staring out the window, trying to get the picture of Chris kissing Mary out of his head. No matter how hard he closed his eyes, he could still see them. God dammit Chris! he cursed mentally. How could you, you bastard?
The Texan vaguely heard Ezra saying something, but he couldn't make his mind focus on the words. His whole fucking life had just come crashing down around him and Standish was trying to make him see the bright side, he thought resentfully. Almost immediately, he was regretful. It wasn't Ezra's fault that Chris had turned out to be a lying sack of shit. Hell, for that matter, Vin thought, it wasn't Chris's fault that he was sitting in Ezra's jag wishing he was dead. It ain't no one's fault but your own Tanner, he told himself bitterly.
Vin couldn't help remembering the way he'd fought his feelings for Chris. Chris was his boss and his best friend and that's all he'd wanted. Even after they'd become lovers, he'd lied to himself that they were just good friends and the sex didn't mean anything. It was just fun and games. Fun and games, Vin snorted at the thought. Yeah, it was fun alright - while it lasted. Why the hell had he ever listened to Chris's bullshit?
"Vin."
The sharpshooter became aware of Ezra's voice and with a start realized that they were in front of his apartment building. The apartment he'd called home for four years and had been planning on letting go next month. Good damn thing I didn't give notice, he thought bitterly.
"I'll see ya Monday Ez," Vin said sadly, as he climbed out of the Jag. A curt "no" to Ezra's offer of a place to stay tonight and Vin disappeared into the lobby of his apartment building.
Ezra watched him go, with a heavy heart. He truly liked and respected the quiet Texan and until tonight, he'd had nothing but respect and admiration for their mutual boss and friend. However, now he was not only questioning his judgment of the man, but whether or not there'd be a Team Seven after tonight. Sighing heavily, he drove away with one last look at the solitary light burning in Vin's fourth floor window.
Vin watched from behind the shade, until the Jag was well out of sight. He hastily stripped the fancy suit off and slipped into his worn jeans and a Guns n Roses t shirt. Chris hated the group, he remembered, and wearing the shirt gave him a perverse satisfaction. His favorite boots and a faded denim jacket and he was ready to go.
The best thing about living in Purgatorio, he thought, was that there were at least a half a dozen bars within two blocks of his apartment. Vin could get himself good and drunk and not have to worry about how he was going to get home without killing someone. Ain't all you can get, Tanner, he told himself with a bitter smile.
**********************
Vin hadn't been in this place and it was perfect, he decided. Only for losers, his little voice told him, but he ignored it and tried to drown it out with the shot of tequila sitting in front of him. Here, he could sit in the back and watch the action and get himself plastered and there were enough people looking to get laid, that he shouldn't have any trouble finding a body to forget about Chris Larabee in.
An hour later, Vin was well on his way to getting plastered, but he hadn't seen anyone he was remotely interested in forgetting about Chris with. Hell, he'd about bitten the head off of the tall leather clad blond with the handlebar mustache who'd approached him. The guy looked too damned much like Chris. Then there was the brunette, who'd given him a boob shot, when she bent over and asked him for a light. The loose spaghetti strap t-shirt had fallen forward and her boobs had practically been in his face. Hell, she'd given him a free shot at everything when she reached down to pick up the napkin she'd accidentally dropped. Her short skirt had hitched up enough for him to see that she wasn't wearing any underwear. He'd bluntly told her he wasn't interested and downed another shot of tequila.
He wasn't that fucking drunk yet, Vin thought ruefully. No way he was gonna stoop to picking up some chick who flashed strangers in a bar. He'd been drinking and eyeing up the clientele, for over two hours, when someone caught his eye. A thin redhead was leaning against the bar, and watching the band. Vin wasn't sure what it was about him, but the guy seemed out of place in this dive.
The guy looked up and their eyes met. A small smile crossed the guy's face and he nodded at Vin and picked up his drink. Yeah, this looked interesting, Vin thought as he watched the guy make his way across the crowded bar.
"Name's Mark," the man said, as he sat down in the empty chair at Vin's table.
His eyes were brown, Vin noted; nothing there to remind him of Chris. He wasn't as tall as Chris and he didn't have quite the hard body that Larabee did, but then not many people did, Vin admitted to himself. Still he was a good looking guy and his body was good enough. Yeah, this was looking real interesting.
"Vin," the sharpshooter offered cautiously.
"You come here very often?" Mark asked nervously.
"No," Vin replied truthfully. "Do you?"
"First time," Mark admitted and took a drink of the beer he was holding.
Vin smiled and nodded. "I never was much for the bar scene, myself."
"So how come you're here tonight?" the redhead questioned.
Vin looked at him hard and decided that the truth was the best option. He might want to forget about Chris, but he wasn't gonna lie to do it. "Drinkin' my baby goodbye," he said and met Mark's eyes unflinchingly.
"Charlie Daniels," Mark said with a smile and then asked quietly. "How come?"
"Found himself another friend. Figured I'd find myself one too," Vin admitted. He wouldn't blame the other man, if he got up and walked away. Hell, no way Vin would want somebody who was just interested in getting even with a lover.
"I been there before, you wanta talk about it?" Mark offered solicitously.
"Nothin' much to say. I thought we had somethin' special. He didn't." Vin replied with a shrug. "Thing that pisses me off, is the bastard lied to me over and over and I fell for it."
"I know how that is," Mark replied sadly. "It's like a mack truck runs you over and you never even saw it coming."
"Yeah," Vin replied and took a sip of his beer. Just then, his stomach rumbled reminding him that he hadn't eaten. "Aw hell," he cursed with an embarrassed smile.
"You wanta go get something to eat?" Mark suggested in a friendly voice. "I know a diner, not too far from here."
Vin shrugged. "How many beers you had?" he inquired.
"Why?" Mark demanded.
"Just wanta know if we should take a cab or not?" Vin replied with a grin.
"No, I'm OK. I only drank three beers in the last three hours. I was more interested in watching you give the leather king and the woman who's been flashing just about every guy in this joint, the brush off.
"You been watchin' me?" Vin grinned.
"Yep. Do you mind?" Mark replied with a grin of his own.
"No," Vin replied and to his surprise, he realized that it was true.
They left the bar, passing by the brunette who'd flash Vin and apparently everyone else in the place. She'd found someone to appreciate her charms, the Texan noticed. She was sitting on the lap of a middle aged man, who was furtively sliding his hand under her skirt. Vin shuddered in relief as they passed by the couple. Hell, a few more drinks and that mighta been him.
An hour and a half later, they had eaten steak and eggs and drank enough coffee, that while Vin still didn't think he'd pass a Breathalyzer, he felt reasonably sober. They were sitting in Mark's car, behind an abandoned warehouse talking, or rather not talking, and trying to decide who was going to make the first move. Finally, Vin had enough of the uncomfortable silence.
"You know I ain't lookin' for a relationship, right?" he asked.
Mark grinned at him. "That's not usually the kind of place you start relationships in."
They both laughed and then Mark leaned over and pressed his lips lightly against Vin's. The sharpshooter closed his eyes and let his lips part and he felt the other man's tongue slip inside his mouth. The kiss was nice, gentle and exploratory, and the sharpshooter was enjoying it. Mark seemed to understand that Vin wasn't gonna call tomorrow, and right now, all the Texan wanted to do was forget about one, Chris Larabee.
He slid his tongue into Mark's mouth and their hands began tentatively exploring one another's backs. Vin felt Mark's hand slipping lower, to caress his buttocks and he was enjoying it, but Vin suddenly found himself thinking of Chris. He tried to get the other man out of his head, but it was no use. He couldn't get the image of his lover's stricken face, whispering, "What are you doing, cowboy?" to go away.
Good question, he thought. What are you doing? You're sitting in a parkin' lot with a guy you don't know gettin' ready to do it in the backseat like you were a damn kid. How fucking stupid are you Tanner? For all you know, the guy's a serial killer - - or maybe he's got some disease. Maybe even AIDS. Shit Tanner! Get your brain in gear, he ordered himself. But, the thing that made him realize, that he couldn't go through with this was that throughout his mental listing of why he shouldn't be here, all he could see was Chris's hurt, disbelieving face.
With that, both men broke off the kiss. Vin sensed that Mark could tell that he wasn't into it and he felt it necessary to apologize. "Sorry," he began. "Guess this night's gonna end as bad as it started."
"Don't be," Mark replied sincerely. "Like I told you back at the bar, I been there. It's not easy breaking up with someone you care about."
"You're a nice guy, Mark," Vin said, studying him. "But, I guess I gotta get things straight with Chris, before I find a new friend."
"Chris is a lucky guy," Mark replied quickly.
"Funny, I used to think I was the lucky one," Vin said bitterly. "He's the greatest guy and he told me over and over that he loved me. I'd fall asleep wonderin' how the hell I'd found somebody like him and prayin' that he'd still be there when I woke up. FUCK! I was a stupid shit. I shoulda known that a guy like Chris ain't gonna be happy with me for long."
Vin was staring out the window and Mark tried to think of something profound to say to him. However the only thing he could think of was, "Maybe you should try talking to him."
Vin snorted. "I ain't in no shape to drive out to his place and this ain't the kinda thing you talk about over the telephone."
"I'll drive you," Mark offered quietly.
Vin looked at him in surprise. "Why?" he asked.
"Because you said that Chris was a really great guy and that he told you he loved you over and over. Maybe there's a chance that you two can make it." Mark replied thoughtfully. "I just think you ought to at least try to work whatever it is out."
From the way he was staring into the night, with a faraway look in his eyes, Vin wondered if Mark was thinking about Chris and him - or someone from Mark's own past. Either way, he was grateful. Maybe he and Chris could at least salvage their friendship.
An hour later, Mark pulled into Chris's driveway. Vin felt a pang when he saw the house come into view. Home, at least it was supposed to have been home. Would he ever come here again?
"Thanks for everything," Vin told him and they shook hands. Mark held tightly for a second and then let him go.
"Good luck to you, Vin. If you're ever looking for a new friend, call me." With that, Mark pressed a business card with his name and phone number on it into Vin's hand.
"I'll do that," the sharpshooter replied quietly and slipped the card into his pocket. He climbed out of the car and watched as Mark turned around and then drove back down Chris's long driveway. When the car rounded the bend and was out of sight, he turned and looked at the back door. Taking a deep breath, he made his way to the door.
He let himself into the house quietly, but he wasn't surprised to see the kitchen light flicker on, as he stepped into the house.
"Vin, where the hell have you been?" Chris demanded worriedly. "It's almost three o'clock in the morning."
"Out," Vin replied curtly and immediately took a beer from the refrigerator and popped the top and took a long drink. Just because he was ready to have it out with Chris, didn't mean he wanted to do it almost sober. "You want a beer?" he offered flatly.
"No! I don't want a goddamned beer." Chris replied angrily. I want to know why I got a message saying you were having dinner with Ezra and you'd meet me here afterwards and you didn't show up."
"How was your meeting?" Vin suddenly demanded, completely ignoring Chris's angry question.
"Wha - ? Oh, fine," the blond replied distractedly. "I was worried about you," he said in a softer voice.
"Were you?" Vin asked sarcastically and drained his beer. He threw the can into the trash and immediately grabbed another one.
"You know I was," Chris answered in the short clipped way he had of talking, when he was trying to keep his temper under control.
"Do I?" Vin's blue eyes held Chris's for a moment and then he shrugged and drank half of the beer he was holding.
"Vin, will you just tell me what the hell is bugging you?" Chris suggested in an irritated voice.
Instead, the sharpshooter swallowed the rest of the beer and grabbed for another one. Chris was rapidly losing patience with the Texan, but he knew that Vin wouldn't tell him a goddamned thing unless he was ready to. The older man also knew, that if he wasn't careful Vin would clam up completely and keep whatever was bothering him inside. He had no intention of letting that happen.
He willed himself to speak calmly and rationally, "Don't you think you've had enough, pard?" Chris pointed to the beer Vin was guzzling.
"Not nearly enough," Vin replied in a tight voice, but he sat the beer down and looked past Chris at the far wall of the dining room. "Don't you wanta know how dinner was?" he asked suddenly.
"Sure Vin, how was dinner?" Chris asked tiredly, feeling a headache beginning to blossom behind his eyes. Vin was in cat and mouse mode now and he hoped he could keep his temper in check long enough, to find out what it was that was obviously bugging the hell out of his lover.
"I didn't eat." Vin responded flatly. "Didn't like the floor show in the corner."
"Vin, please. It's really fucking late and I've got a killer headache." Chris rubbed his temples as he talked. "Please just tell me whatever the fuck it is."
Vin stared hard at him and then spoke quietly. "Ezra and I went to the Colorado Room.
Chris felt the blood drain out of his face. FUCK! he thought, realizing what Vin must have seen. "I didn't like the floor show in the corner," he heard the words in his head again.
Vin went into the living room and sat down on the far corner of the sofa. His soft drawl was rough with emotion when he spoke, "Jesus Chris, why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
Chris started to sit down next to him, but Vin's whole body seemed to tense when he got nearer. The older man flinched when he saw the way Vin reacted, but he couldn't blame the Texan. So, he moved to the opposite end of the sofa and sat down a few feet and miles away from Vin.
It had seemed so simple when he'd thought of it. Vin was the most level headed person he knew. The sharpshooter was so even tempered and rational, that it bordered on the ridiculous, with one glaring exception. Mary Travis. Vin truly liked and respected Mary, which made his jealousy seem even more irrational. They'd had more than one fight about Chris's relationship with the beautiful editor. Until tonight, Vin's jealousy had been completely unfounded and they had both known it. But Chris hadn't wanted to deal with it, so he'd taken the easy way out.
Mary had called and explained that she had made up a boyfriend, to get rid of a persistent, but important advertiser and that the man had put her on the spot, by inviting her and her boyfriend out to dinner. Chris had gallantly offered to help her out by posing as the boyfriend before she could ask. His only worry had been the fight he knew he'd have with Vin over the dinner. "Just tell him you have a meeting, his little voice had whispered seductively. And damned, if he hadn't listened to that fucked up little voice. It had all seemed so simple. All he had to do, was make Vin see it that way.
"First thing you have to know, is that it wasn't what it looked like," Chris said quickly. Vin said nothing. The sharpshooter just continued to stare out of the sliding glass door. Hastily, the older man went on. "Mary's got this client who's been bugging her and she told him she already had a boyfriend. So, the guy invited her and her boyfriend to dinner."
"Let me guess, you volunteered," Vin finished for him, in that same flat tone he'd used to offer Chris a beer earlier.
Larabee smiled in relief. "Yeah pard, I was just helping her out." His relief was short lived however. Vin was still staring off into the Denver night and his expression hadn't changed. "Vin? You know I wouldn't ever cheat, don't you?" he asked uncertainly.
"Yeah," the sharpshooter replied succinctly, without looking at his lover.
"Then what's wrong?" Chris was puzzled. Vin had accepted his explanation, but something was still bugging him.
"You wouldn't cheat, but you would lie to me."
"You know how you get about Mary," he defended himself. "And, I just didn't want to deal with it tonight."
"That's pretty funny comin' from you," Vin said quietly.
Chris's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Those dead honest blue eyes locked onto Chris's green eyes, until the older man wanted to throw something through the plate glass door, just so that Vin would go back to staring at it. Finally, Vin got up and began pacing in front of the window. Then he spoke. "So, I'm a prick about Mary," he admitted nonchalantly. "You're a goddamned prick about a lot of things," Vin reminded him angrily. "And, I ain't never lied to you, just to keep you from actin' like one."
"Vin please -" Chris began, only to have the Texan cut him off.
"Please what? Please don't be pissed that you said you loved me and then I saw you with your tongue down Mary's throat." Vin knew that was an exaggeration, but he didn't care. Chris had lied to him and he wasn't gonna pretend he wasn't pissed as shit. "Or maybe, I shouldn't be pissed, that all that shit you fed me about trustin' you and never lyin' to me, was just that, a buncha shit." Vin was breathing heavily and giving a pretty good imitation of one of Chris's glares, when he stopped talking.
"No, how about I'm sorry I lied. It was stupid and selfish. I just wanted to help a friend. I never wanted to hurt you," Chris replied sincerely.
Vin studied him through narrowed eyes for a minute and then he smiled coldly and said, "Fine, you help your friend. And, I'll help mine."
"Ezra? What does he need help with?" Chris was sure it would do wonders for his headache, if Vin would quit changing the subject every five minutes.
"No, a new friend. One I met tonight," Vin's smile turned into a self satisfied smirk, when he saw the shock on Chris's face. How do you like it, you bastard? he thought perversely.
"Just how good a friend are we talking about?" Chris's eyes narrowed dangerously and his voice was brittle like thin ice, as he got up and strode over to where Vin was standing.
Vin knew that his lover was seething and he wasn't about to back off now. Let Chris feel the pain he'd felt all night. "As good a friend as I want him to be." The sharpshooter drawled silkily. He saw Chris's cheek began to twitch, and he knew he should shut up, but he wanted to hurt Chris as much as Chris had hurt him. "He's a pretty good kisser too. Wonder if he's as good as Mary?" Vin saw the way Chris's whole body turned to ice and he knew he'd score a direct hit.
"What the hell else did you do with your new friend?" Chris demanded furiously and grabbed Vin by the arms.
"None of your goddamned business!" Vin shouted back angrily as he broke out of Chris's hold.
Chris felt his anger dissipate and shame and guilt and pain begin to fill the void it left. "Did you sleep with him?" he asked quietly and then sat back down on the corner of the sofa he'd abandoned and dropped his head into his hands.
Vin hated the defeated slump of Larabee's shoulders. His own anger deflated as rapidly as Chris's had seemed to and the only thing he felt was an overwhelming sadness. "No," his raspy drawl was quiet.
"Why not?" Chris lifted his head and asked, not sure he really wanted the answer.
"Sobered up too fast," The sharpshooter answered quickly. Looking at Chris hard for a minute, he finally added, "Kept seeing your face askin' me, what I was doin'."
They sat in painful silence for a time that could have been three minutes or three hours. Neither one of them was sure how much time had passed, when Vin finally spoke again.
"Guess we both fucked up good this time, huh?"
"No," Chris answered simply.
Vin was thoroughly confused by that answer. "Whadda ya mean no?" he asked, his confusion plain.
"I mean, you didn't fuck up. I did," Chris replied tiredly and rubbed his hands across his eyes. "I'm not real sure what I would have done if you had told me you had a meeting and I walked in and caught you kissing someone else. I do know, that it would have hurt like hell. I might have found myself a friend too. And, I'll tell you one thing, I damn sure wouldn't have sobered up in time."
Vin digested that for a minute and then in his quiet drawl asked, "So, what now?"
Chris studied the floor and then the wall for a few minutes, before he finally answered. "I guess it's up to you," he said quietly. "What do you want to happen?"
As quietly as Chris spoke them, Vin could still hear the emotion in his words. His own voice betrayed his emotions, "I don't know. Chris, I almost did somethin' real fuckin' stupid tonight. I never picked nobody up in no bar and climbed into the back seat of a car with 'em before. And, I was gonna do whatever the hell he'd let me do. Shit Chris, I coulda killed myself tonight and it was 'cause I couldn't stand the thought of you with her. But hell, you weren't with her, right? That was just a lie, right? That's the thing that's got me tied up in knots right now. You lied so fuckin' easy about somethin' that didn't really matter. I'da bitched for a day or two and I'da got over it. You know that."
Vin's chest was heaving and he had to pause to take in a shaky breath. Chris listened silently. He knew Vin had more to say, so he sat quietly waiting, until Vin was ready to go on.
"You swore you'd never lie to me," Vin reminded him softly. "And the first time, you gotta decide between puttin' up with some shit or lyin' to me, you pick lyin'. You do a thing once, it gets easier to do it again. You gonna lie to me whenever you don't wanta put up with shit?"
Vin bowed his head and his long hair hid his face from Chris's view. Fuck! Why had he ever thought lying to Vin would be easier than the fight? The Texan had been so damned wary of their relationship. It had taken months for him to convince the younger man that what Chris felt was love, and not just friendship. Hell, even after Vin had accepted that Chris loved him, the Texan had held a part of himself back.
Chris remembered how hard it had been for Vin to trust him completely. The Texan had fought it every step of the way, until that night a month ago, when he'd told Chris he was ready to give up his apartment. It was right after he'd told Chris how he'd trusted Charlotte and she'd hurt him so badly. And damned if he hadn't promised Vin that it was safe to trust him. And Vin had.
Vin had looked at him with those clear blue eyes and handed over his heart, his soul and his trust. And tonight, with one stupid lie, Chris had thrown them back in his face. Dammit, why had he been so stupid?
The air was filled with tension, so different than the silence that could stretch between them for hours most times. Chris didn't know how to make this right and the thought of losing Vin's trust was like a kick in the gut. He had to try something though and so, he reached out a hand and gently stroked the hair away from Vin's face.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I know I shouldn't have lied to you. It was selfish. I can't promise you, I'm never gonna be selfish again, but I can promise you that I won't lie to you again. Please, just give me a chance to prove it to you."
Vin lifted his head and his anguished blue eyes met the equally agonized green eyes of his lover. They locked together, in wordless communication, until Vin finally looked away.
"I ain't givin' up my apartment." His rough drawl was quiet.
"Vin please, don't give up on us," Chris pleaded desperately.
"I ain't," Vin responded in his quiet voice. "But, I ain't givin' up my apartment, either."
Chris's heart leapt at the words. He knew that Vin's not giving up his apartment was a major setback to their relationship, but right now he didn't care. The important thing was that Vin was willing to try to work it out. He risked moving closer to Vin and was relieved when Vin didn't get up. Putting a tentative arm over the younger man's shoulder, he nodded his head.
"I understand," he acknowledged and then continued. "I'm gonna spend the rest of my life earning your trust back. But for tonight, will you just let me hold you?"
Vin gave a small nod and Chris stood up and offered his hand to the younger man. Vin studied his outstretched palm for some time, before he finally put his hand into Chris's.
Larabee smiled. He had time to re-earn Vin's trust. They had a whole lifetime.
THE END