by Judy
ATF Alternate Universe
Never, never would I have thought that I'd be this happy for my 40th Birthday. Chris Larabee sat reflecting on his newly found peace. And it was because of a lanky, long haired, ex-bounty hunter. In fact, even knowing he was going to be forced to attend a "surprise" birthday party, his own, couldn't dampen his joy.The other members of his ATF team, nicknamed The Magnificent Seven, knew how much Chris had changed having Vin Tanner in his life. But only two members of the team, Buck and Vin, really knew why their sullen leader was finally able to release his pent up grief over the death of his wife and son.
The others all thought that his relationship with Vin was the key, but they were only partly right in their assumption. Buck knew all along about Chris's secret pain, but never said a word to anyone. After Chris and Vin had been together for a while, Buck saw the change in his old friend and found the courage to ask.
"You told Vin didn't you, told him the whole truth. Shared your guilt?" Buck asked Chris one night when they were on a stakeout together.
"I had to Buck. You know Vin, it was always there for him to contend with. 'My perfect life'. The night I asked him to move in, I felt I owed him the truth. So I told him all about my marriage."
Chris didn't need to fill his oldest friend in further. Buck knew all too well the fights over Chris's job, the times Sarah packed Adam up and left. The times they went to the lawyer. How Sarah had begged Chris to quit his job to save their marriage. The guilt-- that if he had quit, they'd both be alive. But Buck also understood that Chris could never quit. He could never have given up what he did, it was part of who he was, same as it was for Buck. Police, FBI, or ATF, both men would have wound up working in law enforcement no matter what.
"How'd he take it?" Buck asked softly. He knew how hard it was for Chris to talk about his feelings, let alone admit that his fairy tale marriage had turned sour as soon as the honeymoon was over. Adam had been what had held them together.
"It was like I released him. He was trying to live up to the image he had, a false one, of the relationship that Sarah and I had. Wish I would have told him sooner. Think it finally clicked for him, that he's what I want."
Sitting in his office, staring at the screen saver of national park pictures that JD had installed, Chris had to admit, this was going to be the best birthday he ever had. He peeked out of the blinds that covered the floor to ceiling window in his office. No one was at their desk. He knew Buck was at the copy machine, Nathan and Josiah went down to records to return files, and Ezra had volunteered to walk the expense reports to accounting.
He wondered where Vin had snuck off to? Must be on a special mission for tonight. Smiling to himself, he decided to get a cup of coffee. It was almost four pm and the party was due to start at five. Figuring a cup of coffee would brace him for the drinking that he'd be obliged to do, he made his way out of his office to the break room.
Rounding the corner from his office, he heard emotional voices coming from the break room and paused. He didn't want to interrupt a personal conversation.
"I'm telling you JD, I think Vin is . . . I think that guy and him. Oh hell! He's having an affair!"
"Casey, you can't be serious. Vin and Chris are so into each other. You must be wrong. Can't be the way you saw it," JD said with strong conviction in his voice.
Chris froze on the spot. His body tensed, it couldn't be true. His mind shouted to turn around and walk away, but he remained rooted to the spot, listening.
"JD, this is the third time I've seen him with this guy. Once at the ranch, the day Nettie had me drop a pie off, a week ago right here in the parking lot. And just now, on the street. Vin hugged him. Wrapped his arms around the guy. I don't know what he sees in him. He's dark and stocky, with a mustache, sort of a smaller heavier Buck. Older than Chris. And they were hugging!"
"It can't be Casey. It can't. Come on, maybe Buck knows where Vin went. Let's ask. I can't face Chris at his party thinking that Vin . . . ."
Chris stepped back into the interrogation room until JD and Casey passed. He waited for them to turn the corner on the way to the copy machine, to be sure he would not be seen, and retreated into his office. Looking out through the blinds that covered the floor to ceiling window, he noticed Vin was back. Images of Vin, in another man's arms, made Chris suddenly feel sick. He sank into his chair and tried to quell the queasy feeling and banish the pictures from his mind. But it wasn't working, it was fifteen minutes to party time and Chris was not going to attend.
Vin noticed the blinds moving, got up, and made his way past the empty desks and poked his head into Chris's office. "Hey pard, it's close enough ain't it? Let's go now. Ok?"
"Sorry Vin. I have to finish this report. Go ahead. I'll catch up later," Chris said in a tone he usually reserved for bureaucrats.
"Chris, " Vin said, panic evident in his voice. "You know about the party. Come on. What's up? Why are you doing this?"
"You'd best leave Vin. Nothing is up. Go. I'll catch up." And with that he picked up his pen and began to shuffle through the papers on his desk.
"Damn it Chris! Talk to me! Please . . . "
"Now Vin. Go. Don't make me force you out," Chris said as he started to stand. He looked up at Vin and saw the utter despair on the younger's man face. For a moment, he almost weakened. But then he heard Casey's voice, "He had his arms around him!"
Vin turned and walked out. Buck, on his way back to his desk, noticed the totally bewildered look on his face. He looked like he was about to lose it.
"What's up Vin?"
"Huh . . . Buck . . . Chris," he tried to answer as he turned to look at the door Chris must have closed behind him. "He's not coming. Won't talk to me. What the fuck did I do?"
"Easy Vin," Buck said as he looked around to see Ezra returning. "Ez! Come here. Now Vin, you just go with Ezra to the saloon. I'll bring Chris. I promise. Maybe he's just funning with you."
Ezra had walked over, noticed the shell shocked expression on Vin's face. He heard part of what Buck was saying. "That's correct Mr. Tanner. We'll just go on ahead. Make sure everything is in proper array. Mr. Wilmington will deliver our fearless leader." However, Ezra fixed Buck with a look that held a thousand questions.
Taking Vin by the arm, Ezra led him away. Josiah, Nathan, and JD were just returning. Ezra gathered everyone else, and headed out, astounded that Chris was not with them. Ezra told them that he and Vin would explain over a drink.
Buck waited for the elevator doors to close. He turned and walked right into Chris's office. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Buck. Get out. Now!" Chris said with a snarl.
"No, Chris, you tell me right now. What is going on. Do you know what you just did to Vin?"
"Did to Vin? To him? That bastard is cheating on me!" Chris growled, his face turning red.
Buck burst out laughing. "Oh hell Chris, have you lost your mind! What on earth would ever make you think something so stupid!" That conversation he'd had with JD and Casey gave him a pretty good idea of what had set Chris off. But Buck had given Vin his word not to tell Chris anything.
"I heard Casey and JD talking, Buck. She saw him. Saw him hugging some dark guy, a short stocky version of you. Best part, he's older than me! I was always worried that the fact that I'm almost nine years older was a problem" Pushing his hands through his hair, Chris turned to face Buck, "Apparently not, maybe I'm not old enough!"
Buck stopped laughing. He stood up, walked over to Chris's desk. He put both hands on either side and leaned into Chris. His face was inches away from his oldest friend. "Chris, don't ask me why, I can't and won't tell you. But you get up right now and get your fucking ass to this party. Vin and the rest of us, we worked hard to make this a special day for you. You are so wrong, how the hell could you even believe such nonsense." "I'll deal with JD and Casey later. Now, you are going to your party." "I just hope Vin can forgive you for being such an ass. Must be your advancing age. An affair? Vin? He wouldn't notice another person even if they fell on top of him! How could you even think . . . .Never mind. Let's go. Now!" Buck's tone left no room for argument.
Chris knew that a lot of their co-workers were going to be there. If he was a no-show, there'd be a lot of questions to answer. As Chris looked at Buck, his words penetrated his pain. He hopes Vin can forgive me? He won't tell me. He knows? "Ok Buck, I'll go. But it's on you. I'm going only because there'd be too many questions if I didn't show up."
The two men left the office and headed for the elevator. Neither smiling, both wondering how such a perfect day could turn so ugly.
As soon as Chris walked into the festively decorated saloon to cheers, all the guests greeted the birthday boy. He pretended to be happy, he smiled, but they all sensed something was wrong. Vin sat in the back, next to Ezra. Chris didn't even look at him.
Nettie had tried to talk to Vin, but he just stared at her. Ezra explained that Chris was in a bit of a mood and to let it alone. It would all be ok.
Noticing how badly the party was going, Orrin Travis decided to do something. "Hey Chris, why not open your gifts," he suggested. He looked from Chris to Vin, wondering what was wrong.
He had seen the relationship developing between Chris and Vin before there was one. Once it was clear the two had taken the first steps, Orrin called Chris into his office. Normally, a situation like this called for one of the two people to be transferred to another area. However, Orrin had noticed the changes in Chris Larabee. Gone was the sullen and moody, yet successful team leader. He'd been replaced by the sharpest, most innovative, most successful team leader - of the best team - in the entire ATF. Orrin knew that the bond the seven men shared was as much a key to their success as their practical skills for the job. He knew if he moved Vin to another team or relocated him to another office, it would be like driving a stake through the heart of the Magnificent Seven, especially Chris. So Orrin made a decision, one he hoped he would never regret. "Chris, we're not going to talk about this. Just so you know, despite the rules about supervisor/staff relationships, I don't care what you and Vin do during off hours, as long as it doesn't effect the team's performance." And up until today, he hadn't regretted his decision. He was as confused as the rest of the guests about what was going on between them now.
Buck picked up on Orrin's cue. "That's a great idea. Come on now Chris, here lets open some of these." Buck started handing Chris gifts to open. He handed Chris Vin's present first.
Chris recognized the printing on the tag and put it down unopened. Buck scowled at him, and handed him another.
Twenty minutes later, Chris had opened an elegant shirt and tie from Ezra and a gift certificate for a restaurant he had wanted to try from Buck and JD. Nathan, Rain, and Josiah had given him a jacket to go with the shirt and tie from Ezra. It was obvious his team had set up a perfect evening for him and Vin. It only served to remind him that his entire word had collapsed around him.
Nettie and Casey gave him a book on guns of the old west. Inez gave him a certificate she must have made herself. It was for a four course home-cooked Mexican dinner for him and Vin, complete with Champagne. The other ATF teams' had chipped in for a new DVD player, and his boss, Orrin Travis, the use of his hunting cabin in the mountains for any weekend he wanted. None of these were what he wanted. All he wanted was to know that Vin was not interested in another man.
Buck again handed Chris one of the two matching silver and black wrapped packages. The two were wrapped a like and both very large. "Chris, these are the last two. Open them." He whispered so no one else could hear him, "trust me pard."
Vin noticed his reluctance to open his gift, and quickly walked out the back door. Inez had a few outside tables and chairs set up for the over flow crowd, when the weather was nice. He sat on one of the tables, with his head in his hands.
He hoped they all would all leave soon, so he could get the hell out of here. Where could he go? Shit. He lived with Chris. He'd ask Ezra if he could stay with him over night. No way was he going back to the ranch tonight. As soon as he was sure he could walk back out there and face them all, he'd leave.
Buck saw Vin go out the back door out of the corner of his eye. He put one of the packages in Chris's lap and again told him, "Open it. Now."
Chris took it, he'd make a scene if he didn't open it. Reluctantly, he unwrapped it, realizing it was a frame. His face betrayed his emotions; surprise, guilt, and joy.
The frame was an exact duplicate of a frame that Sarah had custom made years ago for a picture of her and Adam. It was the only picture Chris kept out of them. It hung on the wall in his study, at home. He remembered that she had found a place that custom made frames. She had wanted a cherrywood frame with a thin band of gold around it. The wood was carved with a vine pattern.
Where did Vin find this?
He pulled the tissue away from the center of the frame and his eyes filled with tears at the sight. There was a certificate, a photograph of him, Sarah, and Adam, and another photograph, of some stars. He moved his eyes to the certificate. Vin had stars named for Sarah and Adam.
Chris looked up at Buck who just handed him another box. Chris opened it with shaky fingers. It was another frame. A smaller one, the same design, but this one was empty. He reached further down into the box. There was a cigar, which had a "Congratulations" ribbon on it and a slip of paper. He picked up the paper and read it. It was blood test results on Peso, their mare. She was pregnant. The last item in the box was a picture of a man and a horse. The jagged edges gave away that it was pulled from some horse magazine. It was a stud ad, for one of the finest looking animals Chris had ever seen. Holding the horse was a shorter stocky version of Buck. Chris turned the page to Buck, who nodded.
Casey hit JD and said "that's him JD. That's the guy. Buck was right! I'm so glad it's not what I thought."
Chris suddenly felt sick. It all fell into place. The stud fee listed was astronomical. Vin must have known the horse owner. It wasn't an affair. Damn. Now what? He searched the room for Vin.
Buck handed him a small box that Chris had missed in all the tissue. "Outside, good luck," was all Buck had to say as he walked over to JD and Casey, to teach them another lesson about gossip.
Chris stood and headed to the back door. As he worked his way through the crowd, the other guests bade him goodnight. The tension had been so thick, they all wanted to get out of there. Orrin squeezed his shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile. "See you Monday, son," was all he said as be made his way to the door.
At the back door, Chris paused and took deep breath. He opened it and at first, he couldn't see Vin. Then he noticed him in the darkest corner, sitting on a table.
"Can you forgive me Vin. I did a crazy thing. You may not believe this, but . . ." he spoke softly as he approached.
Vin looked up at the voice, his pain evident in his eyes.
Chris's voice caught. He had hurt Vin, badly. "I heard Casey say she saw you with some guy, hugging him . . ."
"You open your presents?"
"What? Yeah, Vin I did." Chris answered surprised that Vin cut him off.
"All of them?" the younger man asked.
"Yeah Vin, I did. The frames, how did you find a place to make them? The stars, it's the perfect gift. Feel like they're with me, with us. And Peso! When, when is she due?"
"What about the other? Did you open the other?" Vin's voice was a whisper.
"What other?" He asked as he realized he still held one small box in his hand. "Oh this one, no not yet."
"Good, can I have it. No need for this one. I'll just take it."
"Vin, can I open it?"
"No. Give it to me Chris. It's not important. Stupid of me."
"Vin, please."
"NO! Give it to me Chris."
The fear in Vin's eyes made Chris curious. He started to unwrap the small box.
Vin tried to grab for it, but Chris just turned away to avoid his reach. He quickly unwrapped the box. It was a jewelry box. As Vin tried to snatch it away, Chris opened the tiny velvet box. Inside there were two rings. Silver bands. Both etched with a small vine-like pattern. Chris took out one the larger one and looked inside. For my cowboy, forever. Love Vin was engraved inside. He put it on, it fit perfectly. He removed the other, it was engraved the same way. For my cowboy, forever. Love Chris
Chris looked at Vin who was standing there with his head down. "Vin . . . they're beautiful. Not silly at all. I'm . . . honored," his voice caught in his throat. "Look at me."
Vin looked up, in those green eyes, he saw it all. The fear, the hurt, and the honesty. He did think there was some one else. How could he? Why would he? Well, Casey, she said she saw it. Guess it would upset Chris to hear Casey say that she saw me with another man. Trying to ignore the nervous knots in his belly, Vin decided he'd give Chris one last chance to prove he had no doubts about their relationship. "I read that there are ceremonies. For couples like us. Figured if you were game, we could exchange rings. Make a real commitment. If you don't want to now . . . if you don't trust . . ."
"Can I keep it on till we have the ceremony?" Chris interrupted. "I don't want to take it off. If you'll still have this damn stubborn fool."
Vin looked at Chris, he could see the love and devotion in his eyes. He could see that Chris was sorry for jumping to such a stupid conclusion. Vin put his hand out to take the box and the other ring.
"Let me . . . please?" Chris asked him.
Vin smiled and nodded. His emotions threatening to overwhelm him.
Chris took the other ring out of the box and placed it on Vin's finger. Then he pulled Vin into an embrace. "Can we go home now? I had to be crazy-- crazy with how much it would hurt to lose you. I never say it, but you've got to know. I love you."
Vin nestled into Chris's embrace, "I love you too. Don't ever forget that. You never have to worry about any one else ever coming between us."
"Just me and my stupidity, pard. And I won't ever be so stupid again. I promise you. Let's go home so I can show you how sorry I am. I'm better with actions than words."
Vin smiled and they walked back into to the bar to see seven very concerned faces.
"Chris, Vin. Everything ok?" Buck asked.
"Yeah Buck. It's fine. Honest," Vin answered with a slight smile on his face.
"Thank God, " Nettie exclaimed as she clapped her hands. "This doesn't mean you're off the hook young lady," she said shaking her finger at Casey.
They all started to laugh as Casey turned red with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry Vin, Chris. I just care so much about you both. I . . . it . . . "
"It's ok Casey, I should have known better. We're going home. Ok?" Chris replied to the lot of them.
"Vin, are you certain?" Ezra asked, wanting to be sure that all was well.
As Chris gave the undercover agent a dirty look, Vin answered him. "I'm sure Ez. We'll see ya all Sunday. And then I guess we need to make plans for . . . what did you call it Josiah?"
"A bonding ceremony, Vin. You two agree on that?" The big man asked.
"Yes."
"Yeah."
They answered in unison. Smiling.
"Well, good night. Thanks, to all of you. I won't forget this birthday." Chris thought to himself, in some ways it was the best birthday he ever had. And it wasn't over yet.
***********************
The ride back to the ranch was quiet. Chris drove, his hands tight on the steering wheel, occasionally chancing a glance at Vin. He knew he had made a big mistake in thinking that Vin was cheating. His mind was running over ways he could make it up to Vin.
"I gotta ask you, Cowboy. Why . . . what . . . aw hell, Chris. How could you think that?" Vin turned to study the face of his best friend.
Chris had been dreading Vin asking, but the use of his nickname softened the blow. Looking over, giving his partner a weak smile, Chris said softly, "I was happy."
Shaking his head in understanding, Vin edged over closer and rested his hand on Chris's leg. "Damn straight, and we're gonna stay that way. Okay?"
Prying his right hand from the wheel, Chris rested it on top of Vin's, smiling. "Damn straight, pard."
The rest of the ride was spent in comfortable silence. Getting out of the truck, Chris warned Vin, "I aim to make it up you."
Laughing, Vin replied "It's your birthday, cowboy. Figure it's up to you what we do, but I did have some things in mind."
Pushing the now unlocked door open, Chris paused just inside and wrapped his arms around Vin. "I want to . . . need to . . ."
"Chris, it's okay. I ain't gonna say I wasn't pissed. But I know you and your demons. Don't plan on dwelling it." Vin pulled back and looked deep into Chris's eyes. "You said you wanted to do this bonding thing, you sure?"
Staring back into Vin's eyes, Chris felt blood rushing to his groin. "Yeah, I want it." He leaned for a soft kiss, then pulled back "But you know, I do better with action than words." With that he grabbed Vin's wrist and bent over, hoisting the unsuspecting sharpshooter over his shoulder. Gently smacking Vin's ass, "And I aim to show you just how much right now."
"Chris . . ." was all Vin could get out as he was fireman carried to their bedroom. They enjoyed gentle sex, hard and rough sex, but this was a new move, and Vin found himself laughing as Chris dropped him on the bed.
Standing at the foot of the bed, Chris stripped in seconds. Tossing his clothes in a heap on the floor. Slowly he climbed up Vin's body until he captured the younger man's mouth. As their tongues probed and tasted, Chris unbuttoned Vin's shirt. His hands went to undo Vin's pants while his mouth traveled across the stubbly chin to nibble at his partner's throat.
Vin knew Chris couldn't get his shirt or pants off while he was lying on his back. He sat up and let Chris remove the shirt then he raised his hips so Chris cold pull off his pants. He eased his own underwear down and they were snatched away to join the pile on the floor. Now that they were both naked, Vin smiled suggestively, "Come here."
"Vin," Chris again tried to explained, "I don't know what to say . . . "
"Quit talking then, and get your ass over here, cowboy!" Vin opened his arms inviting Chris to join to him.
Chris shook his head and paused over the smaller man. He traced the inside of Vin's thigh with his tongue. When Vin's body arched, Chris switched sides and did it to the other thigh. Chris could see the positive effect he was having, Vin's cock was hard and his head was back, mouth slightly open. He continued to lick at Vin's balls while he ran his finger over his organ. Changing tactics, he slowly tongued the sensitive tip.
Vin clutched at the blankets, arching his body up, trying to get Chris to take all of him into his warm wet mouth. "Damn, Chris. Keep this up, it's gonna be my birthday present." Vin locked his blue eyes on Chris's. He licked at his lips. Passion and lust were plain to be seen as he took in all of Chris's body. "This what you want, pard? I ain't complaining, but it is your special day."
Unable to tear his gaze from his lover's face, Chris reacted and moistened his own dry lips. "I want you to know . . . "
"I do know. But show me now, cowboy!" Vin's voice was raspy with desire and need.
Smiling, like a hungry man at a buffet, Chris reached over to open the dresser drawer. He removed the tube of gel lubricant and quickly squirted some on his hands. He moved back between Vin's knees and using a finger, coated the dark opening. He slipped one digit in and moved it around, stretching and preparing.
Vin watched him, taking in every detail. Noticing the strands of blond hair that fell onto his forehead, the taut ab muscles, the gentleness of Chris's hands as he worked to make sure Vin was ready. As the probing finger found the ultimate spot he was seeking, Vin gasped and pushed his body down onto Chris's hand.
Taking this as a sign that Vin was ready, Chris pressed the head of his cock up against the puckered oval. Breaching the tight opening, he slid slowly in. Waiting for Vin's body to relax against the intrusion, he coated his partner's cock with oil. Teasing Vin's ball sac, he then ran his fingers up and down the length. Feeling the body beneath him relax, Chris plunged in all the way.
Knowing he had gentled his entrance so Vin would not be hurt, he gave way to his passion. Thrusting with all he had, he pumped and pushed as Vin used his hips to match his strokes. Chris watched Vin's face, as his hands tightened on the slighter man's hips for leverage. Seeing the pleasure and animal-like lust, that he knew mirrored his own, Chris felt his orgasm build.
He took Vin's cock in hand and began to pump it as he thrust his own wildly into Vin. The tension he could feel in Vin's body signaled to Chris that this partner was near climax. Knowing that he was the one responsible, mixed with the sensation of being deep in Vin's body, Chris joined Vin in an explosion of sticky juices. Chris continued to milk Vin's cock while he pumped his own waning erection until neither man could catch their breath, and both were completely spent.
Regretfully pulling out, Chris dropped onto the bed with his head on Vin's chest. Chris gently ran his hands over Vin's smooth chest and wash board abs. Impulsively, he kissed Vin's chest, then his throat.
Vin ran one hand through Chris's hair while the other roamed over the broad muscles of his back. "Who ever said forty was over the hill, ain't never fucked you, cowboy!"
"If forty is this good with you, Vin, I'm looking forward to fifty, sixty, seventy . . . "
"You got it," Vin said sleepily. "Happy Birthday, Chris." Planting a kiss on the top of his head, he added, "Not bad in bed for an old man."
"Thanks a lot," Chris chuckled as he pressed his body up close and tight to Vin's. "Hey Vin, can we plan that ceremony tomorrow morning."
Vin smiled, everything had turned out all right, "Sounds good. Night, pard."
THE END