DO NOT LINK THIS STORY TO OTHER WEBSITES
by Kim
ATF Alternate Universe
"Vin, what the hell's the matter with you?" Chris demanded harshly. "It's just dinner with a friend. She's not just my friend. Mary's your friend too. You like her, I know you do.""Not as much as you like her, ain't that right?" Vin replied angrily.
Chris scrubbed his hand across his blond hair wearily. "This is getting us nowhere. I'm going to bed," he sighed heavily and turned to leave the room.
"Yeah, that's right just walk out," Vin snarled.
Turning in frustration, Chris stalked over to his lover. "Dammit Vin. What do you want from me?" he demanded as he grabbed the sharpshooter by the arms. He was shocked to see the pain in the blue eyes, as they met his. Softening, Chris reached out and stroked his cheek. "Vin, just tell me what's wrong, so we can work it out." Chris's voice was soothing now, where it had been angry only moments ago.
Closing his eyes, Vin leaned into the hand stroking his cheek. Sighing, he opened his eyes and looked back at Chris, in complete misery. "Shit Chris, I'm sorry. I – I don't know why I – I just – Oh shit," the younger man cursed. He turned away from Chris and sat down on the floor. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. His head dropped and he studied the floor.
Chris didn't know what was going on with Vin right now, but he knew his young lover was hurting badly. So, he dropped to the floor beside him and put a gentle hand on his back. "It's ok pard, whatever it is, you can tell me."
Vin looked up and him and read the concern and the love in his eyes. His voice was almost a whisper when he started talking. "It ain't you, Chris. It's me. I just get scared sometimes." He dropped his eyes again and stopped speaking.
"Of what?" Chris's voice was kind.
"Bein' happy." Vin whispered.
Chris was truly puzzled now. Being happy shouldn't be frightening. Suddenly, it hit him. Shit, he cursed to himself. Vin didn't know how to be happy, because he'd never been happy before. Chris knew how to be happy. Until Sarah and Adam had died, he'd always been happy. Growing up in Indiana, he'd had the perfect childhood. Mom, Dad, and kids, pets and camping trips. As he got older, things also went the way they were supposed to. Friday night dances, Captain of the football and baseball teams, college, the job he wanted, and he'd gotten the girl. His life had been filled with happiness, right up to the day his world ended. And his world had stayed stark and painful, until a longhaired man with the most expressive eyes he'd ever seen had shown up in the middle of a raid.
Vin had never known any of that. He'd been alone since he was five years old, too busy struggling to survive, to waste time being happy. Even so, he'd somehow managed to find a peace in life, that had always eluded Chris no matter how happy he'd been. Vin moved through life, doing what needed to be done and expecting nothing. Too used to being disappointed, Chris thought grimly. So, when happiness had fallen into his lap in the form of his best friend, it shouldn't come as a surprise, that the young man was having a hard time dealing with it.
"Vin, it's ok. I understand,"
Those amazing blue eyes looked up at him and studied him for a long minute. Chris could see the emotions flashing through them and finally his lover nodded and gave him a sheepish smile.
"Guess, I ain't real good at this relationship stuff," Vin said ruefully.
"Don't worry, you're a natural," Chris smiled. "Besides, we gotta fight once in a while."
"Why?" Vin asked him, with a puzzled expression.
"‘Cause making up is a hell of a lot of fun," the older man responded, grinning wolfishly.
"Oh. I get it," Vin's eyes widened and he smiled as Chris's intentions became clear to him.
"Thought you might," Chris chuckled. "You wanta take this into the bedroom?"
"Yeah," Vin answered, scrambling up off the floor. He reached down and took Chris's hand and helped him to his feet. Tugging on the older man, he headed for their bed.
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Chris had barely gotten inside the bedroom door, when Vin stopped dead in his tracks, turned and kissed him. "I'm gonna show you just how sorry I am," the lanky young man whispered huskily. He tugged on Chris's hand again, and led him over to the bed.
Dropping his lover's hand, Vin worked on unbuttoning his shirt. Chris smiled at the bowed head. Vin was biting his bottom lip and frowning in concentration. God, he loved the expressions and the blushes that would steal across Vin's face, when he was engrossed in doing something he wasn't adept at. Even now, the pink color was staining Vin's cheeks and ears. Buttons, Chris thought happily to himself, were something Vin definitely wasn't good at. Chris knew Vin hated his ineptness, but he loved it. It was one of the most endearing things about their lovemaking to the older man. His lover was capable in almost everything and to see his nimble fingers fumble so clumsily with the buttons ,while his cheeks colored so appealingly, was a major turn on.
Chris watched Vin, until the sharpshooter flashed a smile of triumph and his shirt fell open. Laughing, the blond took his long haired lover into his arms and kissed him soundly. His own more nimble fingers had Vin's shirt open in seconds. They separated and hastily finished taking off their clothes.
When they were nude, Chris pulled Vin into his arms and stood there, just holding him. Vin's arms were wrapped around his shoulders and he'd buried his face in Chris's neck. He clung to the older man, and let himself relax in Chris's embrace for a few minutes, reveling in the safety and comfort and love he found in those strong arms. He couldn't remember ever feeling this way, before Chris. He was finally happy and he wasn't gonna let any damned insecurities screw this up.
Chris started placing feather light kisses on his cheek and neck and whispering soft nonsense to him. It didn't matter what he said, Vin didn't hear a word anyway. He just felt those kisses and heard that silky voice purring to him. Vin wanted to touch Chris, but he couldn't make himself move. It just felt too good holding onto him and having Chris hold him.
Chris understood somehow, that Vin needed to be held like this right now and he was happy to oblige. Must come from Vin missing out on being held when he was younger, Chris mused, as he tightened his arms around his lover. He'd willingly hold this man forever.
Still holding onto one another, they moved to the bed and fell on it. Chris rolled onto his back and pulled Vin on top of himself. The lithe agent laid his head on Chris's chest and held his shoulder with one hand, while he stroked his cheek with the other. Chris didn't move, just kept his arms wrapped around Vin. He knew Vin needed this tenderness right now. Vin would let him know when his need for relief overtook his need for comfort.
"I'm sorry I acted like such a jackass before," Vin spoke softly, still stroking his cheek.
"It's OK, you've just got to get used to the idea that I'm not going anywhere," Chris responded gently. He tightened his hold on his lover and kissed the top of his head. "I know you've had a lot of hard times and disappointments, but I'm not one of them. I'm here and I'm always gonna be here."
"I know it when we're lyin' here like this," Vin whispered, his voice full of emotion. "Other times, it just ain't that easy for me."
"I know," Chris whispered back. "And, I'm gonna make sure you know it too."
Vin didn't understand just why he felt so desperate tonight. All he knew, was that he wanted – no needed for Chris to hold him, and he needed to hold onto Chris. Sometimes, all the loneliness he'd lived through, threatened to rise up and consume him. Times like tonight. He hated the way he felt right now, but he was powerless to control it. The only way to make the hurt and misery go away was to have Chris wrap him in his strong arms until the feelings passed. And Chris did. Vin felt warm and safe and loved when Chris was holding him like this. He loved Chris and he wanted him.
"Make love to me Chris," Vin's emotional whisper was urgent. "Show me how much you love me. I need you."
Chris was only too happy to oblige. He pulled Vin's chin up and met his eyes. Vin's blue eyes were dark and turbulent. Chris could read the love and fear and hope and pain – and desire. Pulling Vin in close, Chris kissed him softly. He wanted Vin badly tonight, but he wanted him easy and slow. As far as Chris was concerned, tonight was going to be about love and trust and gentleness and Vin knowing how much Chris loved him.
They kissed and caressed each other gently. Their hands moved slowly, stroking and petting, until both men were ready to burst. Vin rolled onto his back and Chris coated his cock with oil from the night stand. Looking into Vin's eyes, he eased himself into the younger man.
"I love you, Vin," Chris said tenderly and kissed him again. He was moving into Vin slowly, and then pulling back even slower. His hand was wrapped around Vin's length, stroking his lover until he was moaning with the need for relief. Chris could feel his own climax building.
"Chris. Chris. Oh Damn!" Vin growled as he came. The shudders and contractions wracking his body sent Chris over the edge in sweet release.
"I – love – you," Chris gasped against Vin's ear.
They separated long enough to get their breathing under control and clean themselves, and then Vin rolled back into Chris's arms. "You were right you know," he said softly.
"About what?" Chris asked.
"Making up is a hell of a lot of fun," Vin replied and kissed him goodnight.
THE END