They headed north, to where the stagecoach had been robbed. Sheriff Dane, of Eagle Bend, was to meet them there in the morning and show them where he and his posse had lost the trail. Vin was aware of the looks the others kept sending his way. He wondered if they knew. It was kind of hard not to notice that he was still in pain, feeling as if he was splitting apart again as the horse jostled him in the saddle. JD was looking at him again, silently questioning him. He replied with a slight nod to let the boy know he was holding up alright. His thoughts returned again to the little girls and their parents. This was his fault. If he had just told JD and the others about what had happened, they would have ridden after Jameson and caught him. And then those two little girls would still have their parents. They’d still be whole. And pure. He heard Jameson’s voice in his head again. ‘I’m going to fuck you.’ Did he say that to those girls, too? He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory, but he still felt the bastard in him, tearing him apart with every thrust, every word. He was startled when JD spoke.
“You alright?” he asked.
“I’m holdin’ up,” Vin replied quickly, focusing once again on the trail ahead.
“You seemed kinda lost there,” JD said.
“Just thinkin’ about them little girls,” he said quietly.
JD looked at the tracker closely. Saw the mixed emotions in his eyes. A sudden realization came to him.
“We’re going after the men that got you, aren’t we?” he asked, though knowing the answer already.
‘I’m going to fuck you.’
Vin closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to banish the voice from his mind. He did not notice Buck ride up on his left.
“Now what are you two whisperin’ about?” he asked. “Wouldn’t be the lovely Miss Emma, would it?” he teased.
“No, Buck,” JD replied dryly, glaring at him, hoping Buck would get the hint that Vin was not in the mood for the conversation.
“Tell me, Vin,” Buck continued on, not noticing that Vin wasn’t even paying attention to him. “I’ve been workin’ on Miss Emma for three days now without luck. But you – less than five minutes after she meets you, she’s grabbin’ your ass! Come on, Vin. Is it the long hair, like JD said?” he asked, reaching over and running his hand teasingly through Vin’s locks.
“NO!” Vin cried out, spurring his horse forward, breaking away from the hand in his hair.
“Vin!” JD and Buck called out after him, before sending their mounts after the tracker.
“What the hell?” Chris swore as the three horses tore past him.+ + + + + + +
Vin rode as fast as he could away from that hand. Away from Jameson.
'Like reins on a horse.'
He kept riding, unaware of the six men following him, shouting at him. His mind was being flooded with images. Of Jameson. The hands in his hair. Seeing the blood in the stream as he washed himself off. JD's scared expression when he'd found him. Of two innocent girls. They overwhelmed his senses. He didn't feel the pain. Didn't feel the blood flowing anew as a result of the hard riding, of being ridden.
He didn't try to stop the horse. Didn't know he was falling until it was too late. And even then, he didn't care. He rolled on the ground when he landed and ended up on his back. He looked up to the stars and cursed them through the strands of hair covering his eyes, obstructing his vision. Before he even thought about it, his knife was in his hand.
‘Like reins on a horse.’
"Vin!" Buck and JD shouted, seeing the tracker slump off his horse.
They pulled up, jumped off their horses and started for their fallen comrade. They stopped short when they saw the knife in his hand.
"Vin?" JD called, his voice shaking with fear and confusion as Vin grabbed a handful of his hair with his other hand.
‘Like reins on a horse. Like reins on a horse. Like reins on a horse,’ the voice whispered over and over.
“Buck? What’s he doing?” JD asked, seeing Vin raise the knife toward the handful of hair.
Buck moved quickly, now, as JD's voice made Vin hesitate. He grabbed onto Vin's wrist and grabbed the knife from his weak grip, tossing it aside. Vin struggled with Buck and now JD as well, screaming at them, both in English and Comanche, to let him go.
The others had arrived by now and saw the struggle.
"Let him go," Chris ordered and the two reluctantly did so.
Vin scrambled out of their grips and backed up against a tree, gasping for breath as he glared at the men.
"Vin? Vin, what's going on?" Chris asked, slowly approaching the trembling man.
He got no answer.
"Chris?" Josiah called quietly from next to Vin's horse. "His saddle’s got blood on it."
Chris looked up sharply at Josiah's comment, received a confirming nod from the preacher, and looked back at Vin. He couldn't see any obvious wounds on the tracker. But it was dark.
"Vin, you gotta tell them," JD spoke, stepping forward, ignoring the others' curious glances.
But he just ignored the boy.
"Vin, you're bleeding again," he said softly, scared, eyes pleading.
Still Vin ignored him.
"Somebody took ya, didn't they, Vin?"
Vin looked up quickly at Buck's softly spoken words, like a deer caught in a rifle's sights. But he said nothing. Buck looked expectantly at JD, then. The boy couldn't take the silence any more, the pain he knew Vin was in. He nodded mutely, watching as Vin glared angrily at him. He closed his eyes as the guilt set in. He'd just betrayed Vin's trust. Violated him. He felt no comfort from the hand Chris placed on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Vin,” he said.
"I know you're hurtin', pard'," Buck said, returning his attention to the tracker. "And we want to help. You just gotta trust us," he added, holding out his open hands.
The others watched Buck as he tried to get through to Vin. Heard the gentleness in his voice. They didn't dare interrupt and break the bond that was forming. And when Vin looked up at them, read them, they all just nodded their heads, silently giving him their support. Vin looked back at Buck.
"You're sick and you’re bleedin', Vin," he continued. "You gotta let Nathan try to fix ya up. Let him take care of the physical hurts. No questions asked," he said, quickly looking at the others, making sure they'd heard that last part. "Then we can work on the other hurts inside ya."
Vin looked at Buck again. Saw the sincerity in his eyes. He saw something else, too. Understanding. He nodded his head, ever so slightly, accepting the help being offered. He pushed off the side of the tree and took a step forward. Then the world began to spin around him. He saw Chris and Buck rush toward him.
“Easy there, pard’, we got ya,” Buck soothed as he and Chris lowered him to the ground.
Nathan began issuing orders as he rushed to kneel down next to the tracker.
“JD, get a fire goin’. Josiah, water. Ezra, my bag,” he barked out.
“Vin?” Nathan called, placing a hand on his forehead, feeling the fever. “Vin, we gotta take your clothes off, see where you’re hurt,” he said, meeting Vin’s unsteady gaze.
Vin closed his eyes and nodded, choosing not to look at the others as they stripped him. He felt as if it was happening all over again as hands touched every part of his body, exposing him.
As the fire built up, giving them more light, they saw the extent of Vin’s injuries, the severity of his assault. Chris cursed as he saw the rope burns and infected cuts on his arms. It was painfully obvious that Vin must have been tied up for hours, struggling to get free.
“Okay, now pard’,” Buck spoke to Vin, still in a quiet soothing voice. “We gotta turn ya over now, so Nathan can stop the bleedin’.”
‘I’m going to fuck you.’
He hesitated, memories of Jameson rolling him over, returning. But after seeing only concern in their eyes, he complied. Josiah, Ezra and JD backed off then, retreating to the other side of the campfire, to give Vin some privacy. Buck was going to get up as well, but Vin grabbed his hand, made him stay.
“How bad is it, Nate?” Chris asked, placing a hand on Vin’s shoulder, feeling the muscles underneath tense at the healer’s touch.
“I don’t know yet,” Nathan replied, pressing some clean dressings against the torn tissues. “Depends on how deep,” he added, meeting Chris’s gaze.
“You’re gonna need help down there, Nate. I’ve seen this done before,” Buck said, offering his assistance.
Nathan nodded gratefully to him, not questioning his experience. He gave Vin a hefty dose of laudanum before telling the tracker that he’d try to be as gentle as he could.+ + + + + + +
Josiah, Ezra and JD sat quietly by the fire, not knowing what to say. They tried to ignore the cries of pain they’d heard from Vin, looking elsewhere, into the fire or the night sky. They couldn’t quite look at each other, either. They were seeing different sides of men they thought they knew. Vin, the rugged wilderness man of the bunch - quiet, subdued. Nothing ever seemed to bother him. He was at peace with nature and those around him, and that gave him confidence. His defenses were impervious to insult and injury. Until now. Until someone had found, no, destroyed his walls, made him vulnerable. And Buck. They knew he was a gentle giant, at least with the ladies. Other men - they were the competition. But they saw what Vin must have - compassionate understanding. As if he had been there himself at one time. Maybe he had. Maybe that was what made him such a ladies’ man. He understood their vulnerabilities, their fears of the evil men can do.
“It’s all my fault,” JD said, to no one in particular. He answered Josiah and Ezra’s confused looks by adding, “If I hadn’t been late for patrol, Vin wouldn’t have had to go out. He wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
“JD, you don’t know that,” Josiah replied.
“Or maybe it would have been you that was violated, Mr. Dunne,” Ezra put in.
“Vin must hate me,” JD continued, not hearing the other two’s rebuttals. “First, he gets raped because of me and now, I… I promised I wouldn’t tell no one,” he trailed.
“Mr. Dunne, no one could have foreseen the circumstances,” the southerner countered. “You could not have predicted or prevented what happened. Therefore, it cannot be your fault.”
“And, JD,” Josiah said, continuing on, coming to sit across from the boy. “You made that promise to Vin to protect him. You protected him just as much, if not more, by breaking it.”
“The Reverend Sanchez is quite correct,” Ezra agreed. “If you hadn’t concurred with Mr. Wilmington’s assessment, Mr. Tanner may not have agreed to treatment. He may have run off again, only to die from fever and blood loss, and done so alone, at that.”
JD looked at the two, weighing their words with his feelings of guilt.
“Don’t feel guilty for being a friend, JD,” Josiah said.
“Or, for having them,” Ezra added.+ + + + + + +
Buck and Nathan collapsed next to the campfire and gratefully accepted the mugs of coffee offered them.
“How is he?” JD asked.
Nathan took a sip of the hot liquid and sighed.
“Physically, he’ll be fine, as long as we can get some food into him and get rid of the infection that’s set in,” he replied. “Mentally….”
“He’ll be fine, as long as the six of us stand by him and don’t treat him no different than we did before,” Buck finished, making sure he made eye contact with each of the others.
“You can count on that,” Chris put in, joining the group, getting his own coffee.
The others agreed.
“JD? Did Vin tell you who did it?” Chris asked.
He just shook his head, saying, “I asked him a couple of times. He kept saying ‘nobody did nothin’’ to him.”
The others looked over at Vin’s sleeping form, each in their own way understanding his denial. Then, JD continued.
“But I think the ones who hurt Vin are the same ones that robbed the stagecoach,” he said. “Vin had this look about him. I don’t know. But whenever someone talked about what happened to those two little girls, he got it. He almost looked like he was feeling guilty. Like it was his fault,” he added.
“We’ll have to ask Vin about that,” Chris said.
“Chris, you can’t force him to talk about what happened,” Buck put in.
“I know, Buck,” he replied. “But Vin may be the only one who can give us some insight about those bastards and where they may have gone.”
“I’d like to take him back to Four Corners come mornin’,” Nathan put in, changing the subject. “We’ll have to rig up a litter. He won’t be doin’ any ridin’ for a while.”
“Alright,” Chris decided. “Nathan, you and JD will take Vin back. The rest of us will meet up with Sheriff Dane in the morning.”+ + + + + + +
JD sat next to Vin. They took turns throughout the night, with one watching Vin and another watching the camp while the others slept.
“I’m sorry, Vin,” he whispered. “For being late that night. For telling tonight.”
“You got nothin’ to be sorry for, JD,” came the tired response. “It was my own fault I got took,” Vin added, groaning as he tried to get more comfortable.
“But Vin,” JD protested, only to be cut off.
“I got distracted,” Vin continued. “Wasn’t payin’ attention and the bad guy got the drop on me. As for tellin’, I understand why ya did it. I’m just sorry I put you through all that. I had no right to put that burden on ya.”
“Enough,” Chris said, interrupting the two. “Only one person’s at fault here and that’s the bastard who did this,” he stated, making sure they understood. “Now get some rest, both of ya,” he finished, shooing off JD to take the watch over Vin.
He sat down next to the tracker and got comfortable. He picked up the cloth that had been across Vin’s brow and put a fresh, cool one on. Vin opened his eyes but couldn’t look at the gunslinger.
“He’s a big son of a bitch,” he whispered. “Called himself Jameson. Snobby kind of guy.”
“Vin, you don’t need to,” Chris interrupted, hoping to spare his friend some pain, hearing the tremor in his voice.
“No, I do,” he countered. “I was just checkin’ ‘em out. Jed, he’s the one Sheriff Dane thinks is the tracker, found me. I was so distracted, watchin’ Jameson and Charlie, that’s the other guy, arguin’ over Miss Emma, I didn’t even hear ‘im ‘til it was too late.”
“Miss Emma? The new saloon girl?” Chris asked, now partly understanding the encounter he’d seen between the two outside the saloon.
Vin nodded, continuing, “Jameson apparently ‘never had a lawman’ before. They’d already tied me up. I tried fightin’ him. But he grabbed me by my hair. I couldn’t get loose,” he finished, shaking, not able to tell what happened next.
‘I’m going to fuck you.’
Chris thought he understood what had happened earlier, too, when JD had told them about Vin’s reaction to Buck touching his hair. About Vin trying to cut his hair off with the knife. He must have been remembering Jameson touching him, holding him.
“I’m sorry I yelled at ya,” he said. “I’m the last person who shoulda been preachin’ about climbin’ out of a bottle. I didn’t know.”
“Weren’t supposed to,” Vin replied, hissing out in pain as he rolled over.
“Easy, there, pard,” Chris soothed, pulling the blanket back up over the younger man’s shoulders.
Chris sighed. Now he also understood what JD must have been going through these past few days.
“It’s over now, Vin,” he finally said, changing the cool cloth on Vin’s forehead again.
“No it ain’t,” Vin retorted, looking Chris in the eye. “Not until we catch those bastards. Jameson has to pay for what he done. Not to me, I shoulda known better. But those two little girls and their folks,” he continued, his words choking on the anger he felt. “They didn’t do nothin’ to deserve that.”
“Neither did you, Vin,” Buck put in, kneeling next to him, joining the conversation.
Vin looked up at the mustached man, but didn’t say anything.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, Vin,” Buck said. “I’ve just been worried about you and JD these past couple of days. I knew you didn’t fall off no horse. But if I had known, I swear, I’d a never teased you about Miss Emma and your hair. I’m sorry,” he added, his apology sincere.
Vin shut his eyes and nodded, shutting out the thoughts of the hands in his hair once again.
‘Like reins on a horse.’+ + + + + + +
The morning came and six men began to pack up their gear. After eating a quick breakfast, Nathan and Buck made up a litter and attached it to the saddle on Vin’s horse.
“Chris,” Vin called from his bedroll.
“Yeah, Vin,” he replied, squatting down next to him.
“She told me where they went,” Vin said.
“Miss Emma?” he asked and was answered with a nod.
“Said there’s an old miner’s shack in the canyon. About ten miles east of here,” he said. “They might have gone back.”
“We’ll check it out,” Chris replied as Buck and Nathan lifted the tracker up and carried him to the litter.
“You get those bastards,” Vin said, grabbing Chris’s arm and locking gazes with him. “Not for me. For those little girls,” he added.
“We’ll get them for all of ya,” Buck said.
“Quite right, Mr. Tanner,” Ezra added.
“Revenge is mine, sayeth the Lord,” Josiah began. “But every now and then I don’t think he’d mind if we helped out,” he finished.
Before they left, Vin gave descriptions of the men to Chris and the others, so that they could be sure they were the same ones that robbed the stagecoach. As the group parted ways, with Chris, Buck, Josiah and Ezra heading towards the scene of the stagecoach robbery, Chris looked back again at his friend. ‘Yeah, I’m gonna get those bastards, alright,’ he thought. He watched as JD led Vin’s horse away, with Nathan taking up the rear, to keep an eye on the tracker. He didn’t realize that another group of three would be following them.+ + + + + + +
Chris and his group met up with Sheriff Dane around mid-morning.
“Sorry we’re late,” he told the sheriff. “One of my men took ill. We had to stop and make camp early.”
“Quite alright,” he replied. “Feeling better, I hope?” the man asked, looking expectantly at the other three men.
“He’s gone back to Four Corners with another man,” Buck replied. “Why don’t you fill us in on what happened,” he added, changing the subject.
“Why, yes, of course,” Sheriff Dane agreed, leading them over to the stagecoach. “The two little girls, God save ‘em, between them, they were able to tell us about the three men who done it.”
“The one who stole the money,” Buck began. “Thin gangly feller, about forty, named Charlie.”
“The murderer, the tracker of the group,” Josiah continued. “Grizzly man of about fifty. His name is Jed.”
“And the rapist. Big boy. About six feet six. Uppity bastard named Jameson,” Chris finished.
“What? How?” the sheriff stuttered. “How’d you know?” he asked.
“Let’s just say that we have acquired some information about these vile miscreants during our travels,” Ezra said, entering the conversation.
The sheriff just looked in awe at the four men. He’d heard about them before, but now he believed what he’d heard.
“You wouldn’t have any information about where they are now, would ya?” he asked, hopeful.
“We might,” Chris replied simply, looking around. “Why don’t you show us where you lost their trail.”+ + + + + + +
“Vin? How ya doin’?” Nathan asked, looking down at the injured tracker.
“I’m still here,” was Vin’s tired response, wincing as the litter bumped along on the uneven trail.
“Not too much further, Vin,” JD called back.
Vin looked around, tried to see the boy, but was unable to. He did, however see something that unsettled him.
“Nathan?” he called to the healer, without looking at him.
“Yeah, Vin. What do you need?” Nathan replied.
“I need one of your guns,” he told him. “Don’t look back, but we got company.”
Nathan, ever calm, drew one of his guns and handed it down to Vin.
“How many and where?” he asked.
“I seen one, so far,” Vin replied. “Straight behind us. Tell JD, but keep it casual like,” he added, keeping an eye on the man that followed, hoping it wasn’t who he thought it was.
As Nathan urged his horse forward, to talk with JD, the first shot rang out.+ + + + + + +
“Yeah, he’s good, alright,” Buck remarked, seeing how Jed had covered his group’s tracks. “But not good enough,” he added, standing up. “Looks to me like they’re headin’ south.”
“Not to the canyon, like Mr. Tanner believed?” Ezra asked.
“Remember the source of that information, boys,” Chris put in. “Miss Emma was in Eagle Bend with the three. She might even be their source of information about the amount of money those folks were carryin’,” he reasoned.
“You think she set everything up?” Buck asked.
“Don’t know,” he replied. “Maybe she’s just getting whatever profit she could. First selling information to Jameson, then later on to Vin, seeing the opportunity.”
So it’s south, then? Back towards Four Corners?” Josiah asked.
“These tracks are solid. That information from Miss Emma isn’t,” Chris replied, spurring his horse southward. “I got a bad feelin’ about this, boys,” he added.
“Then I suggest we ride with all due haste,” Ezra suggested.+ + + + + + +
“Nathan!” Vin yelled, getting off a few shots towards Charlie.
Nathan had begun to return fire when Vin called him back.
“We ain’t gonna outrun ‘em with me in this litter!” he shouted, raising his arm towards the healer.
Nathan, knowing the tracker was right, reached down and grasped the arm and pulled, hoisting him up off the litter and onto the back of his horse. Vin let out a painful grunt as he landed on the horse’s rump, but held tight onto Nathan’s waist. Nathan spurred forward and shouted at JD.
“Vin’s with me! Let his horse go and find cover!” he ordered.
JD did as he was told, looking all around him for some cover as the bullets started getting closer.
Vin looked around wildly for the other two, wondering where they were, hoping they’d get out into the open so that he could shoot at them. Another part of him hoped they stayed hidden, as he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to face Jameson again. The whole while they rode, he bit back the pain as his wounds were torn raw once again.
“Over there!” Nathan shouted, pointing to a stand of trees. “JD!” he shouted, hoping to get the boy’s attention, let him know which way to go.
But before the healer could say anything else, he was hit by a bullet and thrown back against Vin. Vin, who barely stayed on the horse himself, managed to return fire, seeing Jed, the second of the trio. Nathan was somehow able to get them into the trees and both men slid painfully and unceremoniously to the ground.
“You alright, Nate?” Vin asked, groaning, seeing the blood seeping from the healer’s shoulder.
“I will be once we get rid of these guys,” he answered, hissing with pain as he moved. “Where’s JD?” he asked, propping himself up against a tree.
“I think I saw him head over to those trees,” Vin replied, pointing to another stand about a hundred feet away.
Nathan looked over to where Vin had pointed and thought he saw JD’s horse. He saw the first man, Charlie, he remembered, slowly approaching JD’s position. He raised his gun at the same time as Vin and ten seconds later, Charlie dropped to the ground, not to move again. They spun around at the sound of a familiarly distinctive click and saw Jed, gun cocked and aimed at Vin’s head.
“I’m still good at what I do,” he said, motioning the two to drop their guns.
“Not anymore, you ain’t,” Vin said, as he watched Nathan reach quickly for one of his knives.
The knife hit its mark, square in Jed’s chest. He looked up in surprise at the healer, not believing the speed in which he’d reacted, before dropping to the ground.
“Two down, one to go,” Nathan remarked, only to be answered by the voice of a stranger.
“Hey lawman!” Jameson yelled out. “I got your friend here! He’s got nice long hair, too! Just like you!”
Vin closed his eyes, fear for JD creeping into his being.
‘Like reins on a horse.’