ATF Alternate Universe
Disclaimer: Tiff yawns and regretfully denies all ownership.
Comments: This is just a little scene that wouldn't go away. I gotta quit calling my sister. Cause every time I do, Buck (her favorite) pops into my head and won't go away until I write something about him. So here it is. Silly or not. Funny or not. At least it's out of my head. <g> Comments of any sort are always appreciated. And oh yeah. Check it out. NO angst whatsoever. <g>
"Whatcha writing, kid?""Nothing."
"Come on, let old Buck see."
"No."
"Fine. If that's the way you want to be."
"Hey! Give it back!"
"What is it? A looooovvvve letter?"
"Not exactly."
"'Top 10 Reasons Never To Get Locked In A Room With Buck'... What the hell is this, JD? It's your fault we got locked in here you know. I told you not to touch the door."
"Yeah. But you didn't tell me why. You're just always ordering me around. Sticking your nose in where it ain't wanted."
"Reason number nine on the list, I see. What else did you write about me?"
"Give it back to me. You ain't got no business reading it, Buck."
"No business? It's about me, ain't it?"
"Number ten. Tells stupid, no way in hell they could be true, stories about blonde encounters."
"I'll have you know, JD, that all my stories are the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Unlike certain skinny, young pipsqueaks, I have no need to make up anything."
"Shut up, Buck. I've done it. Lots of times. With blondes. And...and brunettes. I just don't feel the need to talk about it all the time. Unlike certain over-the-hill, washed-up playboys. So there."
"Lots of times? Sure, JD. Whatever you say."
"Shut up, Buck."
"Number Seven. Won't share his food. Even with his so-called friends. Who were really hungry."
"Are you still harping on that? I said I was sorry. I said I'd buy you breakfast when we get out of here."
"I'm hungry now. The cleaning crew won't be here for another hour at least."
"Number Five. Tells stupid, no way in hell they could be true stories about brunettes."
"Well at least they ain't about three legged dogs. That has to be the stupidest joke I ever heard in my life."
"You just have no appreciation for anything that ain't female."
"I wouldn't say that, JD."
"What do you mean?"
"Number Three. Tells stupid, no way in hell they could be true stories about redheads... Geez, JD. Do I detect a theme here, or what? And I'm telling you. The stories are all true."
"Oh come on, Buck. I mean, I know women like you and stuff. But those stories? No way."
"I'll prove it to you, JD."
"Buck? Why are you taking your pants off? Buck!"
"Oh for pete's sake, JD. Calm down. I'm just showing you why you should believe those stories."
"I've seen you before, Buck. And it ain't no bigger than mine."
"I beg to differ. Take them off."
"What?"
"Your pants, JD. We can settle this real easy."
"This is ridiculous, Buck."
"So, you're afraid."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not. Ouch!! Dammit!!!"
"If I told you once, I told you a million times, JD. Button fly only. No zippers. Can't take a chance on damaging the merchandise."
"&***%$%%**$@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ok. Ok. Here let me help."
"No. Ouch. This is ouch dammit all your ouch fault and dammit will you help me out here, Buck?"
"It would be my pleasure, JD."
"Don't say things like that. And quit laughing."
"Uh, excuse me...I can come back later."
"No. Wait. We're through. I mean, we're not doing anything. Wait. Come back!... Awww geez, Buck. She's the worst gossip in the building. She'll tell everyone we were...were...you know."
"I know."
"Quit laughing!"
"Sorry."
"Uh...Buck?"
"Yeah, JD?"
"I didn't really uh... get a good look at it you know."
"Would you like to?"
"Well, she's going to tell everyone we were uh...right?"
"Yep."
"Do you think anyone will believe her?"
"Yep."
"Well then. Uh...?"
"Close the door, JD. And don't forget to lock it."
"Right."
THE END
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