"Don't be in such a hurry pretty boy." The drunken slur of words reached Chris Larabee as he sat hunched tiredly over his whiskey in the Flotsam Town saloon. The gunslinger knew instantly who the voice was talking to. Could only be one goddamn person who would manage to find trouble like that in a place like this. He shrugged off the ache in his bones and got quickly to his feet."Let the boy go." Chris Larabee's soft voice cut through the noise and laughter like a knife through butter. The three men surrounding JD looked up in surprise. Chris glanced quickly at JD before moving a bit closer. The kid looked a bit pale, but complete and utter confidence shone in his face. Confidence in him. Chris Larabee. Shit. When was JD going to realize that he was just a man. One who was getting too old to pull off miracles. One who really didn't feel like fighting three drunken mountain men for the dubious privilege of JD's body. Although, the kid was pretty enough. With those long lashes and that creamy white skin. Dammit. Where had a thought like that come from? He'd been without a woman too damn long if he was starting to notice JD's eyelashes!
"Mind your own business." One of the rough, buckskin clad men snarled. He put his hand possessively around JD's shoulder. The young man began struggling futilely to free himself. Chris saw the first hint of fear in his eyes. The gunslinger's rage exploded at the sight.
"The boy is my business. Now let him go before I blow your goddamn head off." Chris had his gun out and pointed at the man who was holding JD before any of them could do more than blink.
The man slowly released his grip on JD and stepped back. Sneering in Chris' direction, he elbowed one of his companions. "I think blondie over there wants the young one all to himself."
"I aint that young." JD flared up as he hurried over to Chris' side. He hated it when people treated him like a kid. He was older than he looked. At twenty, a lot of men were married, with families. So why did everyone act like he was some schoolboy? Although, at the moment, he was so glad to see the gunslinger that he resolved to listen to the forthcoming lecture without saying a word in his own defense.
At JD's remark, Chris shot him a glare that said "One more word and I'm leaving you here." So JD just stood there meekly, although he did draw his gun, as Chris turned back to the three men who were still smirking knowingly at the two of them.
"I'd be more concerned about your age, if I were you. Like whether you'll live to see your next birthday or not." Chris' voice was a deadly hiss.
The three men were drunk. But not that drunk. Few men cared to tangle with Chris Larabee and these three were definitely not of that caliber.
"Fine. The boy aint worth that much trouble." The leader of the three finally muttered, running his eyes up and down the young man in question, leaving trails of slime in his wake. Or so it felt like to JD.
"Best you remember that while you're riding out of town. Now." The gunslinger nodded his head in the direction of the saloon door as he spoke.
The three men glared at Chris and JD, but they filed sullenly out the door after just a few tense moments.
When they were gone, the gunslinger put away his gun and turned to JD. "Can't you stay out of trouble for even one minute?" he snapped, refusing to feel guilty as he saw the flash of hurt on his young companion's face.
"It aint my fault, Chris. I was just walking over to join you when they they said. Well, you know." A slight flush stained JD's cheeks as he stared down at the floor, clearly embarrassed.
"I know." Chris sighed, feeling his tiredness come flooding back. He knew what those men had wanted. It was just too bad JD had to know.
"Let's just get to the hotel, JD. I want to get an early start back to town tomorrow." Chris started walking towards the saloon door, JD trailing along in his wake.
The first blow took him by surprise. It shouldn't have. Chris had been around long enough so that he should've known things wouldn't be that easy. But he was tired and feeling more than slightly uncomfortable with the direction his thoughts had taken. He didn't like noticing JD's skin or his eyes or the softness of his hair. But those stupid bastards in the saloon had started something in him. A ghost of a feeling. A whisper of desire. Damn them to hell, anyway. He should've just shot them.
Recovering somewhat from the blow to his head, Chris Larabee decided he'd just beat the hell out of the three instead. He grinned wildly as he entered the fray, JD just a few steps behind him.
It was two bruised and bloody, but oddly happy, men who entered the hotel lobby a short while later. There was nothing like a good knock down drag out fist fight to clear the mind, thought Chris Larabee in satisfaction.
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"Ouch, Chris. That hurts!" JD yelped as the gunslinger ruthlessly swiped a wet cloth over the abrasions on the young man's cheek.
"Quit being such a baby, JD. I aint hurting you that bad." His happy mood had evaporated. Chris just wanted to get this over with so he could retreat to a safe distance. Across the room where he wouldn't be staring down into a pair of velvety brown eyes. Or finding out first hand that JD's skin was even softer than it looked. He was sure he had to have touched the kid before. So why the hell was he acting like some lust-ridden cowboy now? He hadn't been with a man, or wanted to, since he was JD's age. When he'd been wild and reckless, before he'd met Sarah.
He did not want JD., Chris told himself firmly. He was a grown man. It wouldn't hurt him none to wait til he got back to town to scratch this itch. With a working gal. Or hell, maybe even with some passing cowboy if he wanted. But not JD.
"UhChris?" JD's voice was a little hesitant. And Chris realized he'd been standing there, absently stroking JD's cheek with the tips of his fingers with his free hand, while the hand holding the wet cloth had dropped to his side. The gunslinger felt the color rush into his cheeks. Damn. He hadn't blushed like this since he was a kid. But then, he hadn't done some fool thing like this since then, either.
"Yeah. I'm done, JD. You can have Nathan look at it tomorrow." Chris knew his voice was curt, but he couldn't help it. If it had been anyone else, they either would've recognized the touch for what it was and returned it or they would have punched his lights out. Or tried to, anyway. But JD just sat there looking at him with those big, innocent puppy dog eyes. JD was full of trust and enthusiasm and hope. All qualities which attracted Chris even as they repelled him. He couldn't remember ever being that innocent or naive. Or that trusting. And it had been a long time since he'd been that young.
Warming his cold soul at the fires of JD's youth and innocence wouldn't do anything except leave them both sorry afterwards. But it was becoming increasingly hard to remember that, as he felt JD take the cloth from his grasp and begin gently dabbing at the cut on the gunslinger's lip.
"Chris?" the young man ventured softly.
"What is it, JD?" Chris sighed.
"Thanks foryou know. And for not lecturing me about staying in the hotel like you told me."
"Forget it." Chris pulled away from the gentle touch that had him shivering in a way that had nothing to do with the chill in the air.
"Have you everever?" JD's voice died away as the gunslinger turned back around to face him.
"Yes. A long time ago." Chris knew exactly what JD was asking him. The kid just didn't have any idea what he was asking.
"What?" JD began to ask, but Chris cut him off before he could finish.
"Just leave it alone will you, JD?" The weariness in his voice must have convinced JD, because there was no reply. The gunslinger had pulled off his boots and begun removing his gunbelt when he felt a pair of hands at his waist.
"II can help you with that." JD looked up at Chris with his heart in his eyes. The kid wasn't so naive after all. He knew what Chris wanted and he was offering it to him. His hero. Shit.
"JD. I aint a hero. I especially aint your hero. You don't know what you're offering. What you'll be giving up."
"Dammit, Chris. I aint the stupid boy ya'll seem to think I am. I think this is one decision no one else has the right to make for me. Including you." JD said firmly, keeping his hands right where they were. The young man had spunk. If he hadn't, he would never have become part of the seven. But right now, Chris was wishing JD were a little more subdued. A lot more subdued. Chris stifled a groan as JD began running his hands hesitantly up the gunslinger's chest. The awkward touch felt wonderful. Better than anything in a very long time.
"JD. This can't happen." Chris tried to muster his thoughts and ignore the throbbing in his nether regions. And the tingling of his skin. And the burning feeling in his blood.
"But it already is." JD's whispered response contained a hint of triumph. The sound of newly discovered power being taken and delighted in. It was a heady feeling to know you were capable of making someone want you. Even against their will.
JD was right. It was happening. Whether he liked it or not. Maybe it was best the kid got it out of his system with someone who knew what they were doing. Playing with fire, the boy was bound to get burned. Better him than someone like those men in the saloon. Chris knew he was rationalizing matters. Knew he was going to regret this in the morning. Knew he couldn't give JD what the boy really wanted. He was too scarred in his soul to give anyone that. But he would give him what he could.
Chris reached out and pulled JD close. The slim body was surprisingly firm against his. JD wasn't as delicate as he looked. Staring down into dark eyes made even darker by the first stirrings of desire, he prayed to God that JD would never look back on this night with regret. He was the only one who deserved to feel guilt for accepting a gift that he had no right to be taking. Let it be him that bore the burden of memory.
Chris brushed his lips gently against JD's mouth. JD parted his lips, inviting Chris in. The gunslinger twined his fingers in the dark, shaggy hair. It felt soft. Softer than it looked, even.
Chris began walking towards the bed, towing a softly moaning JD along with him.
"JD?" The gunslinger gave the boy one more chance to back out.
"I want this, Chris. I'm old enough to ride with ya'll and to die with ya'll. I'm old enough for this." The quiet conviction in his voice caused the last of the gunslinger's doubts to fade to the back of his mind.
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The slick feeling of flesh on flesh. The pleasure of hands touching bodies in gentle caresses. The wetness of mouth and the heat of skin. The gunslinger was lost in sensation. Burning up with desire. But that wasn't the end of it. Tenderness. Caring. The feeling of being one. JD was giving Chris more than just his body.
The gunslinger hadn't actually made love to anyone since Sarah. Just sated the needs of his body. He'd always tried to be considerate and pleasure his partner, but there had been no true emotion involved. In the bitterness and sorrow of recent years, he'd lost sight of what the sharing of bodies should be. But JD had gifted him with the memory. Made him feel something beyond the physical. Chris didn't know whether to be grateful or sorrowful that he once again remembered all that he had thought lost to him. Either way, JD had given him something precious. A night he would never forget.
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"Chris?" JD's sleepy voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Yeah?" Chris replied, running his hand idly down the smooth skin of his companion's back.
"You are a hero, you know." The young man snuggled a bit closer as he spoke.
"No, JD. Just a man." The gunslinger felt his stomach clench. What had he done? If he hurt JD he would never forgive himself. Hell, Buck would likely be doing Chris a favor when he shot the gunslinger.
"I know that, Chris. That's what a hero is. An ordinary man who keeps struggling on in spite of everything. Trying to do the right thing." JD paused. "I'll never be sorry we had this night together." An unspoken plea for reassurance hung in the air between them. Was Chris sorry?
The gunslinger didn't reply immediately. JD deserved the truth. Was he sorry? No. He didn't know what that said about him. About what kind of man he was. But he wasn't sorry, even though he'd expected to be.
"Me either, JD." The gunslinger looked into the dark eyes regarding him anxiously and felt a smile tug at his lips. The boy had grown up when they weren't looking. Or maybe he'd always been grown up in the ways that counted. He brushed back the errant lock of hair on JD's forehead and pulled the warm body a little closer.
"Go to sleep, JD. We got a long ride ahead of us." He heard JD's sigh of relief as the young man curled up and wrapped his arms tightly around the gunslinger. Chris knew the morning light would bring with it an end to this closeness. To this time together. He wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. So he lay awake until the first rays of light began spreading across the night sky. And then it was over. Time to go about the business of living. Go back to being apart. Back to being responsible for the town and its six other protectors. Back to keeping his emotions rigidly in check because living any other way was too painful.
He glanced over at his still sleeping companion. Perhaps he could allow himself a bit of emotion, at times. After all, he was just a man. He had it on good authority.
THE END