Follows What Life Is For
The morning broke over the mountain and began to defrost my weary bones. It'd been two weeks since I left Four Corners, after hearing the news of Vin's supposed demise. I'd searched everywhere I knew, everywhere I thought he knew and found nothing. Vin had vanished. Or more simply the animals had done what God intended and picked his bones clean. I just hadn't found them yet. I was losing hope, missed my little patch of land and my horses. I know at least two more of the mares have probably foaled. I just hope the others leave 'em be till I get back. I have to keep looking, if he's up here, I'll find him. If I don't, I have to assume I've lost him for good. Defeated by whatever demons Vin was running from this time. True to the promise I had made Buck and Ezra, I let them know my progress or lack there of, at each civilized town I stopped. No need in them worrying after me.Midday I was along the ridge where Vin and I first sat and watched the sunset. He told me how valuable his body was and that he'd want a friend to collect the bounty on his head. The soft curls lying against his shoulders, that setting sun. Why the hell didn't I kiss him right then? Guess I was too full of anger, seeking my revenge for Sara's death. Vin helped curb a lot of that. Ella pushed him over, he hated her from the get go. I could see it, but I didn't want to see why. I just wanted what Sara and I had, home, family, and a chance at happiness. But in the end it was all the same. Ella wrote me several times in the next year, I'd collect the letters as I picked up supplies, read them once then burn them. I didn't want to remember what she had done to me, done to all of us, done to Sara and Adam.
The Indian village was alive with activity as I arrived, the spring thaw in the mountains meant fresh water and happier times. I sat and watched the children playing, and then the chief caught my eye. He waved an arm, inviting me down. I dismounted slowly, it'd been a long time since I'd been here and I wanted to be cautious.
"Greetings."
"Hello." I shook his arm and he smiled.
"Come, eat with us. I was expecting you sooner."
"Expecting me, how?"
"I have a message from your friend, I had hoped you would have come before now."
"What'd he say?"
"He spoke of many things, good things, evil things. He talked of love and finding the other piece of his heart." I smiled and he looked up warmly at me. "You understand this?"
I nodded, that was how it felt. Like he'd plugged up a hole that'd been weeping in my chest for so many years. "Was he okay, when you saw him?"
"He was struggling, struggling with demons that seemed to follow him to sleep."
"I mean physically." The older man walked up to Vin's horse and ran his hand over its flank. "How long ago was he here?"
"He's missing?"
He met my eyes and I could see the fear. "A moon, no more."
"His horse came down from the mountain pass, covered with blood, his gun still in its holder." The gray head shook and bowed. "What?"
"Too long."
"Too long fer what?"
"His pain, it held him for too long."
"What was the message he left for me?"
He straightened and looked me square in the eye. "Go home, there is nothing for you now. Do not seek him."
The realization settled on my chest like an anvil. Vin didn't want to be found. "You're saying I should quit looking for him. Just go home, forget he ever existed?" I gripped the soft front of his shirt and balled my hands into fists. "I can't do that."
"If you are truly his friend, you will."
"That's why I'm out here, for him. I am his friend, I can't just walk away." The pain started creeping up then. I'd gotten use to being alone, how hard would it be just to go back and pretend he never came. Just forget the way his body moved with mine. The way his lips, softly pressed against my throat. The sound of his voice when he came, whispering my name over and over again. I released the material and took a step back. "You don't understand. I need...to find him."
"You pain will not lessen here. You should go."
I got the distinct feeling the Chief wanted me gone, but I wasn't exactly sure why. I nodded and walked back to my horse. "If you see him, tell him I'm looking for him."
"He will not come here again." I nodded and got into the saddle. "Remember Chris Larabee, the shadows are not always your own."
My watching over my shoulder bordered on paranoid from then on. Someone had been to that Indian Village. Someone looking for Vin probably. Someone that made the chief nervous. If Vin didn't want to be found, maybe I should let it be. Maybe I should be hunting the one, hunting him.
+ + + + + + +
The moon was full, so it was easy to keep an extra eye on movement. Chris settled against large bolder and sighed. He was tired, tired of being alone, tired of looking over his shoulder, just tired. Tired of wishing that Vin was there. He cocked his gun and held tight to the grip as he pulled up the coat over his shoulders.
Sometime toward morning, his horse whinnied and he nearly shot him. He swore and stood up, pushing the kinks out of his back. The yawn was long and as he rubbed his face, the realization that he'd been out here a bit too long hit him. His hand were crusted with dirt, his clothes reeked. Just how was he supposed to find time to bathe and put on clean clothes with someone following him? That is, if someone was following him. He wondered about his sanity and shook off the dirt. A nearby watering hole was just deep enough for him to submerge in, so he did. He relaxed and began stripping off his soiled clothes. His nerves began to unknot and he thought back to the night with Vin. They hadn't spoken of such things, never really insinuated that they were interested in being together that way. So how, Chris wondered, did Vin know he'd accept him? But the feel of his skin beneath Chris hands would be etched in the cowboy's mind forever, even if he never touched him again. He cursed and slapped the top of the water. "He's not gone."
He stood up quickly and sloshed out of the water. He wiped off as much as he could then worked clean underwear up his damp thighs. Shirt was next tugged over wet strands of way too long blond hair. He suddenly missed civilization. He let the sun dry him a bit before sliding his long legs into clean pants. The black material slid on easily and he reached out for his shirt as a shot rang out and dinged off a rock near his hand. He jumped back and reached for his holster, but another shot clicked off and his holster jumped as the bullet grazed it. An angry voice called out.
"Move again, Larabee and you're a dead man."
He couldn't place it, but it sounded familiar. "What do you want?"
"Exactly what I got...you...worried...fearing for your life."
"Who are you?"
"Nobody you'd remember, but I know you."
Chris squinted and tried to see the man's face clearer but the sun was too bright. "So what are you planning to do?"
"Make you suffer."
"Least you can do is tell me why."
"Cause you hurt Ella."
Chris groaned. "Is that what all this is about?" He moved to grab his shirt and another shot rang out and sent rock slivers over his arm and hand. He swore as several tore into his skin. "She send ya to kill me?"
"Nope, sent me to fetch you." The voice got closer and when Chris looked toward the silhouette the last thing he saw was the flash of powder as the man clicked off another round. Then the world went black.
Four Corners
"I don't like it."Ezra jumped as Buck's empty mug clanked against the bar top. "Of all the men I've know, Mr. Larabee has a wonderful knack of taking care of himself."
"He said he'd be back in a week, ten days tops."
"From the last wire, yes, but things tend to come up." The bar was deserted, so Ezra ran a hand down Buck's back. "Come up stairs, I'll help you relax until he gets back."
Buck looked back at his lover and smiled. "In a bit." He visually caressed Ezra with his eyes. "I'm gonna sit out front for a while. See if he shows."
"He knows where to find you." Ezra blocked his exit and shut the inside doors of the bar He took Buck's hand and headed toward the staircase. "You need your rest."
"Okay, but tomorrow."
Ezra allowed himself to be pulled to a stop. "Tomorrow, if we haven't heard anything, we'll both go after him, them." He smiled as Buck stepped up onto the next step, invading his space.
"You'll come with me?"
"Course, can't let you go traipsing off after that pair alone. Might get yourself hurt or shot and what would I do without my number one investor?"
"Investor huh?" Ezra smiled. "I like the sound of that."
"You like that?"
"Yeah."
"How much?"
Buck pushed the gambler's hat off his head and ran his hand through the dark hair. He gripped the back of his head and tugged until Ezra's throat was exposed. He bit down on the delicate skin and heard the whimper. "That much." He licked the offended flesh and worked his way up to Ezra's ear, where he suckled as the hands clenched in the shirt. "I think I could use that help relaxing now."
Ezra gathered himself and headed up the stairs with Buck quick on his heels.
End
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Continues in Weeping and Wondering